Maltese Dogs Forum : Spoiled Maltese Forums banner

Traumatized

4K views 57 replies 32 participants last post by  Ladysmom 
#1 ·
Hey everyone

Sadie and I had her first puppy preschool class tonight. No surprise, she was the tiniest puppy (she's only 3.5pounds!) and was very nervous. The trainer has us do off-leash playtime at the beginning of class. Some of the other puppies wanted to play with her but ended up basically trampling her. The trainer told us specifically to let them play and she would take care of them. Sadie was SO upset about these big dogs running all over her that she started screeching. It was heart wrenching to the point that I was tearing up. The puppies had her backed into a corner and she was completely freaked out. It only lasted maybe a minute before the trainer came over and guided the bigger dogs away, but Sadie and I were both completely traumatized.

I feel stupid for even admitting this, but I actually cried when I got home because I felt like such a bad mommy for letting my baby get so upset :-(

She seems okay now and is napping. I just don't want her to think I'm a bad mom and that I don't love her :-(

This is Sadie after the play time incident.. She was literally squishing herself into the fence as hard as she could. I picked her up right after.

Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I want her to be well socialized but I never want her to be that upset ever again :-/ the noise she made was just horrendous

Maltese Dog Canidae Bichon Pomeranian



Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
 
See less See more
1
#29 · (Edited)
Kaitlin,

It is your choice, of course....

But I really would not go back to that class, even if the trainer "realizes" what happened was a mistake.

With my experience with trainers who allow that to happen in the first place - she won't. She will tell you she has handled hundreds of puppies and that you are coddling Sadie too much and THAT is why she is so traumatized.

She will put it on you.

And if you pull Sadie from the play part of session, she will basically ignore you and not give you two the full attention.

If she does say, "Oh I never knew..." Then she is way too inexperienced and I wouldn't trust her to train my puppy. Because if she allowed that to happen and you have GSD (and similar size) puppies in your class - Sadie could get hurt with certain exercises you do in class. All because she is an inexperienced trainer.

Years ago I had a rescue lab mix. I had her in puppy class. She had a traumatic background. This was back when the penny can (horrible penny can!) was still in use. I told the trainer I did NOT want her to use it around my puppy or with my puppy. She was skittish and we were there for the socialization.

But the moment my girl jumped up on her to greet her (which was HUGE because she was so scared of strangers!) the trainer shook that dang penny can and scared the pee right out of her :( She cowered every time we went to class. So I stopped going.

Finding a good trainer takes time. Sadly.

I'd really suggest if it is limited - training her on your own. It isn't worth risking her socialization or temperament for a class.

Because this is her crucial age where things like this MATTER. If she has another bad experience it could traumatize her to the point that it becomes an ingrained fear that lasts her whole life time.

And you will be anxious and on alert every class, and she will pick up on that.

I am not a confrontational person either. But I am the voice for my dogs. Sometimes that means just leaving and finding something else that works.

Maybe instead of puppy class - you could find a dog daycare that separates toy breeds from the others (Camp Bow Wow is one).... and take her there for socialization :)

hugs to you and Sadie...
 
#33 ·
I really do want to encourage you to stand your ground on this one. You are Sadie's voice and that picture of her said it all. No trainer with any degree of wisdom would have allowed this. It is unhealthy and unacceptable. Poor little baby she was so scared. I bet you were incredibly upset also. I would fire that trainer without blinking an eye.
 
#34 ·
I am working on an email to the trainer right now to ask for my money back. There is a local doggy daycare that does separate the little dogs from the big dogs, and my friend's dog goes there (Zorro). Zorro and Sadie are good friends. I would rather spend the money on taking her there for socialization and just try to train her on my own.

I can't wait to go home and give her a big hug and a kiss
 
#41 ·
Well, just hear what she has to say. You can decide then if you want to go back, but don't feel pressured if it doesn't feel right. If Sadie is scared I don't think forcing her to interact with much larger rambunctious puppies is beneficial, maybe the trainer didn't know she had fear issues. Anyway, if you know anyone who has smaller pups/ or gentle small dogs for Sadie to play with that would help her a lot for socialization. It just needs to be positive, especially if she does have fear issues! Keep us posted!
 
#40 ·
It's not about her being physically hurt. How could a trainer allow a puppy she knows has 'serious fear issues' be further traumatized? Her logic fails.

Your pup being mad at you or being physically hurt is not even a concern right now. I read in a book if a puppy is scared of something you make him like it slowly. Like start treating when he sees the vacuum cleaner. Shoving a vacuum cleaner on full power in his face is NOT helping him get over that fear.


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
 
#43 ·
There would be no way I would take my Rocky back there. That was inexcusable. She should have known better than that. I would take your baby for more classes but with other small dogs to become more comfortable with other dogs. Sometimes they just aren't no matter what. I took Rocky to six weeks of puppy classes with other dogs. I could see then that he wasn't too happy to be with other dogs but I thought it would get better. He doesn't bark at other dogs now...just tries to tolerate them. He does go up to other dogs on walks to say hello, but that's as far as he wants it to go, LOL. It used to bother me, but now I just accept my Rockstar for who he is and that's it. If no one else likes it...too bad.
 
#47 ·
I don't think she has fear issues. Put you in the place of that little one and being surrounded by giants who want to walk all over her. If she was not fearful before, now she is.

I went to a class with my dear Alex when he was a puppy. I didn't go there for training just for socializing. It was a mistake. I was lucky, because all the dogs where leashed, so they could not walk all over him. But he was the smallest one even tho he was already 1 year old. All the other ones where puppies (but bigger) and people were looking for training, leash, potty, come, stay, sit. We did not need that. He was already potty trained, walked on a leash, knew come, stay and sit but only did it when he wanted too. All the time we were there he was watching his back. I still remember today after all those years the way he looked at me at one time and I got this voice in my head saying : "mom, what in the h e l l are we doing here, let's go home". This dog was not scared of anything, he would stand on top of the vacuum cleaner but he was not friendly to people he did not know and I thought by socializing he would be better. It did not work. And by the way he was fine with my daughter's shi tzu. I did not make the same mistake with Charlie.
 
#48 ·
Oh wow that was scary ! I remember taking mine to those classes and she was the smallest one too. I would sit her in my lap a lot or just keep her close by. She could of got severely injured by the larger dog even if they were just trying to be nice to her. The trainer should know this. She doesn't seem very bright. I wouldn't let her off leash to play with the bigger dogs. Also , those screeches could also mean not only was she afraid but they could of hurt her. I am still puzzled that the "trainer" would allow a 3.5 pound puppy to play with the larger ones.
 
#49 ·
The fact that your puppy was outweighed by every dog there by at least twenty lbs and was put in that situation by a trained 'professional' is outrageous. Don't let her turn this around on you and make it be about you enabling her to be scared.

And how could she possibly know that each of those puppies was not aggressive? That is a huge liability on her part.

I never ever let my dogs 'met' large breed dogs that I do not know, no matter how many times the owner says 'they're friendly' And you know what? They are socialized just fine without that interaction. I know what you mean about not being a confrontational person but this is something you need to stand your ground about and get your b*tch on. She was wrong and she can try to justify it all she wants but she scared your puppy unnecessarily.

So sorry you are going through this!
 
#54 ·
The fact that your puppy was outweighed by every dog there by at least twenty lbs and was put in that situation by a trained 'professional' is outrageous. Don't let her turn this around on you and make it be about you enabling her to be scared.

And how could she possibly know that each of those puppies was not aggressive? That is a huge liability on her part.

I never ever let my dogs 'met' large breed dogs that I do not know, no matter how many times the owner says 'they're friendly' And you know what? They are socialized just fine without that interaction. I know what you mean about not being a confrontational person but this is something you need to stand your ground about and get your b*tch on. She was wrong and she can try to justify it all she wants but she scared your puppy unnecessarily.

So sorry you are going through this!
Good post :thumbsup:

I would NEVER listen to another word of this wannabe trainer. She is a quack. I never let Zooey meet a large dog I don't know well. Accidents can happen, not only by big dogs who are aggressive, but also by their size/energy. So sorry you had this horrible experience. Try not to learn from it and move on so your baby won't pick up on your upset feelings.
 
#50 ·
My gosh I am so sorry about your little puppy!! That trainer does sound super horrible.

To offer some alternative advice though, I disagree with most people about letting your little one about being near big dogs. I take Arthur to the dog park and the big dogs are VERY GOOD with him. I think it is because they are all a bit older. The only issue I had was with a lab puppy but he was only being rough cos he too was young and Didnt know how to be gentle. But he had an EXTREMELY good owner who always kept him under control and leashes him whenever he got too rough. I think overall your pup needs to be introduced to both types of dogs just so he is aware of what Is round him?

Before I took Arthur to the dog park a trainer I hired Brought his exceptionally well trained Rottweilers to play with Arthur. They were super massive but it taught him to get used to another dog more importantly a big one :)


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
 
#53 ·
My gosh I am so sorry about your little puppy!! That trainer does sound super horrible.

To offer some alternative advice though, I disagree with most people about letting your little one about being near big dogs. I take Arthur to the dog park and the big dogs are VERY GOOD with him. I think it is because they are all a bit older. The only issue I had was with a lab puppy but he was only being rough cos he too was young and Didnt know how to be gentle. But he had an EXTREMELY good owner who always kept him under control and leashes him whenever he got too rough. I think overall your pup needs to be introduced to both types of dogs just so he is aware of what Is round him?

Before I took Arthur to the dog park a trainer I hired Brought his exceptionally well trained Rottweilers to play with Arthur. They were super massive but it taught him to get used to another dog more importantly a big one :)


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
Please be careful with Arthur.

Every year in my state alone we have at least 5 news reports about a small dog getting mauled by a larger breed.

NOT because the dog was aggressive at all! They were friendly and social dogs!

But because the little dog ran off to play and in just one instant it looked like a "rabbit" or other prey animal and the big dog shot off and killed the little dog. I remember one story where the lady was actually standing near her little dog playing with him and a large dog from the other side saw it as a rabbit.... it wasn't good.

It's always sad and so heartbreaking because the little dogs die and the large dogs have to be put down as well :(

It's just not a good idea. It just takes 1 second.

Grace and Gus are both socialized with large dogs. But in a one on one type situation. And highly supervised and contained. They are not allowed to play together. Just calmly coexist.
 
#51 ·
Bogie started Basic Obedience at Petsmart at 6 months old. There were three other dogs in the class, all big and from shelters. Believe it or not, it was a great class. The trainer had all of the big dogs held by their owners on a very short leash and let Bogie run free and interact with the big dogs at his own pace. Because of the size difference, Bogie was the only dog ever off leash. Using common sense seems to be lacking in a lot of trained professionals. I have worked with great trainers and some very bad ones.

The end line is you have to be your dog's advocate. Many trainers do not understand the needs of small dogs, just as many vets do not understand that toy dogs may need to be treated differently. Good luck with the training class.
 
#52 ·
I'd tell her there is absolutely nothing to discuss. If she pushes you, simply tell her you disagree with the training methods used in the class and that you have a picture to show that your pet was not in an appropriate setting that would best meet her needs.
 
#55 ·
My Peetle was also 3.5 lbs when she first went to Puppy class. She cowered behind my leg for the first seven weeks of the total eight weeks of class; on the eighth week, she decided she wasn't going to get trampled, and jumped out to play with the other dogs..on her leash, as ALL the dogs were, all the time.
I wouldn't take my dog back to a class like what you describe; a puppy cowering in the corner is clearly terrified and that benefits her in NO way anyone can see. Also, I saw nothing from that trainer explaining how she would handle it if one of those larger puppies 'playfully' decided your baby stimulated its prey drive and it decided to bite her and shake her like a squeak toy or bite her leg in half, Was this expert trainer going to pay your vet bills if your puppy's leg was broken by an overly rough bigger dog? Maltese pups are notoriously delicate little things, especially at THREE AND A HALF POUNDS...grrrrrr. That trainer really is getting under my skin and that photo you took...double grrr. What she wants to say to you other than 'OMG I am so sorry about that all and no big dogs will be around your teensy pup off the leash again' is just beyond me, although the idea of her putting it on you and your pup is probably the safest bet, as others have pointed out.
I really like the idea of you socializing her at the dog daycare where the big and small dogs are separated; it's just safer and when Peetle used to get groomed, that's what they did there. (They were also a dog daycare--small dogs were kept with the small dogs who had grooming appts, big dogs with big dogs, it all was simple as could be). She would play with the other Malts, Yorkies, Shi Tzus and Chins and the GSDs, Labs and whatever giant dogs that thought she was a tiny stuffed toy were kept far from her. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I hope you do, and that's keep that little sweetiehead away from people willing to traumatize her into a cowering ball in the corner. No puppy needs that.
 
#56 ·
I'm guessing this trainer wants to "discuss this further" with you in hopes that you will return and give her more $$$!!! Stand your ground, girl! I would NOT take my puppy back there!!! I would write reviews on her so other small dog owners will beware to take their small pup to this trainer. I am spiteful like that :innocent:

Honestly, I would be hesitant to take my Maltese (or other toy breed) to a puppy class if they were puppies just because they will be SO MUCH smaller than the other pups... and I am paranoid! I worry about large breeds ALL THE TIME for what was mentioned already, that they could be aggressive or just see my white fluffs as bunnies...my worst fear. I even get nervous when my Lisa gets too rough with Ozzie...he is so gentle and he truly owns my heart :wub:
 
#57 ·
This is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable! It FAR TO DANGEROUS to let a tiny dog be in the same area as much larger dogs. ALL respectable trainers know this and make accomidations for small dogs. I would absolutely demand my money back and find a trainer that has either small dog classes or a seperate area for small dogs. Unfortunately not all trainers are created equal. But by all means dont go back there! She does need to be socialized perhaps having a doggie party with small dogs that are already social is a good idea.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top