Question for anyone who has adopted a rescue ~ trust issues - Page 2 - Maltese Dogs Forum : Spoiled Maltese Forums


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Old 11-08-2012, 11:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Lady's Mom ~ I will definitely get that book. I check my local library for it first. Thanks!
Zoe's Mom ~ thank you for the compliment. I think they're pretty darn cute too! Everyone on here has such cute furbabies!
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:05 AM   #12 (permalink)
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You got some great advice! I agree, just time time time. She's a lucky girl!!
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:29 AM   #13 (permalink)
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The waterproof crib pad is a great idea LOL ... I forget the simplest things some times

Jojo -- You should look Clicker Training up. There are many books and you tube videos on it... You can pick up a clicker from Petsmart or Petco, but I'd recommend using a word as her marker since she may be scared of the clicker sound.

My brain isn't working well enough for me to explain it, which is why I'm suggesting you look it up

It's a great training method.... especially for dogs who need confidence. You can click (or mark) and treat her for simple things so she starts gaining confidence

Like everyone has said - move slowly with her and celebrate the baby steps
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Old 11-09-2012, 07:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace'sMom View Post
The waterproof crib pad is a great idea LOL ... I forget the simplest things some times

Jojo -- You should look Clicker Training up. There are many books and you tube videos on it... You can pick up a clicker from Petsmart or Petco, but I'd recommend using a word as her marker since she may be scared of the clicker sound.

My brain isn't working well enough for me to explain it, which is why I'm suggesting you look it up

It's a great training method.... especially for dogs who need confidence. You can click (or mark) and treat her for simple things so she starts gaining confidence

Like everyone has said - move slowly with her and celebrate the baby steps
Based on our experience with mill rescues, I would not use a clicker or any other training device except treats and your voice. The clicker might be one more thing for her to be afraid of. She needs to begin to trust your hands, that's the first step and it's a huge first step.

If you can consult a behaviorist they may be able to give you some suggestions specific to your situation, but I've found that treats, gentle touch and loving voice are starting to make a difference. It is a long, slow process and patience is the key.
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Old 11-09-2012, 10:40 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Mabey some reiki therapy would help her ? I know that in time she will come around forsure, I mean its a good sign that she allows you to pet her. On my bed for my three babes I have pillows that are stacked up behind our heads. it looks like a loft for them with soft blankets etc; you could put pee pads under a sheet just in case for an accident. mabey try to rub bachs rescue remedy for pets on your hands and get down on your knees and pat her with this solution and try to slowley coax her.
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:41 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Definitely don't jump right into the clicker. Many dogs are afraid of the noise and it can only compound things. My Zsa Zsa came from a mill back in April. I've had her for 6 months. We spent the first few months just developing trust. She has to learn that treats come from hands and hands are good before you can start anything else. Don't rush her.

Remember how big and looming you are to her. Don't bend over her. Make yourself smaller by squatting, duck your head. Sometimes even looking away can make all the difference. Notice what your dog does to show submission. I also recommend a book called On Talking Terms with Dogs: Calming Signals by Turid Rugaas. It explains how much dogs are in tune to our body language and how we send them mixed signals. It has lots of pictures and is extremely eye opening.

The peeing is submissive. Puppies lie down and pee when larger dogs approach. Sometimes they roll over and pee on themselves. She is showing you the most extreme submission she knows how to show. Don't ever scold her for it. She will take the scolding to mean she still isn't being submissive enough and it will only get worse. If you learn the signs of submission (or calming signals), you will notice that turning eyes away is one of the first signals. Dogs avert their eyes, turn their heads, sit, and lie down. They are trying to diffuse the situation (or the threat, as they see it.) Just make sure she can't get to any surface you don't want peed on.

My in-laws have a miniature poodle who only pees for me. I'm the one who groomed him and cleaned his teeth when they first got him so I guess he sees me as the authority. I avoid it by not petting him when I walk in their door. He immediately comes to me and is very excited but I have to completely ignore him until he calms down. If I touch him while he's excited, he will pee. I don't even look at him or acknowledge him in any way when I first come in (and NO, it isn't easy to do.)

Good luck with her. Zsa Zsa has only asked to be picked up a few times but is always happy to keep my lap warm once I put her there.
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Old 11-09-2012, 08:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I know you can't always be down on the floor when handling your new little one, and there are times you need to pick her up. When I go to pick up my dogs, I say "up" and count to three. So they know on "three" that they will be picked up and they're prepared. Most of the time I just start counting and they sit still for me to pick them up. We have to remember that they can't read our minds, and swooping down and picking them up without warning can be frightening.

My Pippa is still a submissive pee-er. Sigh. I have to make sure I never raise my voice or act upset or it's puddle time! She just has a very soft personality and I have to be very aware of what I'm doing and how she might construe my actions. But, she is also incredibly loving, so I can deal with a little piddling now and then
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Old 11-09-2012, 08:59 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Patience is your best friend with rescues. I've only had mine for a month but she has made incredible progress. We are still working on the car though. Just be patient, be on her level when you can, have her come into your lap etc. maybe start by picking her up while you are seated? Once she gets used to that you can progress to trying while standing. Good luck and just be patient!! It takes time but she will come around :-) keep us updated


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Old 11-09-2012, 09:03 PM   #19 (permalink)
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My Naddie we adopted from a rescue. Prior to the rescue haveing saved her from a kill shelter... nobody knows her true history. However all indicators are she was caged for very ling time ...horribly horribly matted, every parasite going, including heartworm, She had 'beasties under all the matting that were eating off her flesh....it goes on and on... ( sigh)
Rescue did a lot of work with her but she still had 'issues' when we got her...but all was disclosed to me and well discussed before we adopted.

Naddie had to wear diapers when we got her.... she was a 'secret pottier". It is assumed she was severely punished for accidents so felt her had to do her 'business' in secret. For training purposes I did take the duapers off for most of the time and just kept taking her out. With months of time and patience...we got thru that.... the diapers came off. For awhile I did put them on her when visiting others homes as 'just in case" but that too became no problem.
She was not a submissive pee-er and though she would not let me be more than a few feet from her ( had severe separation anxiety)... whenever I picked her up, she'd stiffen up, her eyes looked like she was terrified and often she'd start trembling. I'm guessing she had been very roughly handled in the past... or whatever the reason... she certainly didn't associate being held as a positive thing. It was obvious she didn't enjoy it. She enjoyed laying /sitting by us but not truly being held.
Once realizing this... I'd talk softly, pick her up but put her right back down.. speaking sweetly the whole time to her. I did this several times a day. just pick up then gently put down.. Little by little extending the time. Eventually she learned this ' holding business' was nothing to worry about and even could be quite enjoyable. It just took time for her to trust that nothing bad was going to happen to her.
AS someone mentioned... I'd say it was a good year before she got thru most of her issues. Not that there weren't obvious progresses along that time but took that long before most were truly resolved.
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Old 11-09-2012, 10:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladysmom View Post
I adopted my beloved Lady when she was 4.5 years old. My best advice to to be very, very patient and celebrate the little baby steps. It takes a good year with a rescue to really understand one another and work things out. Some issues you may never really work through, but I promise you that the ones you do will feel like you won the lottery! No better feeling on earth!

This book was a great help to me with Lady:

Second-Hand Dog: How to Turn Yours into a First-Rate Pet (Howell Reference Books): Carol Lea Benjamin: 0021898057358: Amazon.com: Books

The peeing you are describing is submissive peeing. Poor little girl is scared. Hopefully as she becomes more confident, it will get better. Since she was used as a breeding dog, it is important to have your vet check her to make sure there is no physical reason for her incontinence.

Get a waterproof crib pad for your bed to protect your mattress.

With love and patience, I promise you that she will blossom. You will never be loved the way a rescue will love you.
Good post, Marj

Bless you, Jojo, and everyone else who has rescued a Maltese. With patience and love, it's amazing how these babies can blossom in their new homes.
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