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Traumatized

4K views 57 replies 32 participants last post by  Ladysmom 
#1 ·
Hey everyone

Sadie and I had her first puppy preschool class tonight. No surprise, she was the tiniest puppy (she's only 3.5pounds!) and was very nervous. The trainer has us do off-leash playtime at the beginning of class. Some of the other puppies wanted to play with her but ended up basically trampling her. The trainer told us specifically to let them play and she would take care of them. Sadie was SO upset about these big dogs running all over her that she started screeching. It was heart wrenching to the point that I was tearing up. The puppies had her backed into a corner and she was completely freaked out. It only lasted maybe a minute before the trainer came over and guided the bigger dogs away, but Sadie and I were both completely traumatized.

I feel stupid for even admitting this, but I actually cried when I got home because I felt like such a bad mommy for letting my baby get so upset :-(

She seems okay now and is napping. I just don't want her to think I'm a bad mom and that I don't love her :-(

This is Sadie after the play time incident.. She was literally squishing herself into the fence as hard as she could. I picked her up right after.

Any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I want her to be well socialized but I never want her to be that upset ever again :-/ the noise she made was just horrendous

Maltese Dog Canidae Bichon Pomeranian



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#2 ·
That does not sound good. Gustave is also the smallest puppy and often backs away when others start playing rough. Our trainer always asks me to take him out and just observe. We try again in a few minutes and he participates sometimes. If he doesn't, our trainer again separates him from the pack.

Your trainer's approach does not sound right to me. And there is NO way this makes you a bad mommy.


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#3 ·
Poor baby!! I would've been horrified myself! Leila just completed her puppy classes and the trainer we had was great. He never had us take our puppies off their leashes. I'm so glad your little fluff didn't get hurt! How did he know one of those bigger ones wasn't going to hurt her?
 
#5 ·
The trainer had me hold Sadie for the rest of play time, but we both were already upset at that point. Sadie is SO quiet so to hear her make any noise, never mind that horrible screeching, was just awful. I think next class I will speak to the trainer ahead of time and tell her that I really just don't feel comfortable letting her off leash with these dogs.

Sadie doesn't seem too mad at me so that's good. She snuggled up next to me on the couch and took a nap when we got home.

I didn't think I was capable of loving something so much as I love this dog


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#6 ·
Kaitlin, don't feel silly or stupid for crying. You love your baby and best of all, Sadie knows that you do, no matter what! You never want her to be hurt or upset so when this happened, it's only natural that you would feel bad for taking her there. Now, let yourself off the hook and just enjoy your baby. I don't have advice for you regarding puppy school, but I'm sure others will. You are a GREAT mommy!
 
#8 ·
How horrible! Where did you take her for these classes? Was the trainer certified? It sounds like the trainer had no idea what she was doing.

I don't blame you for being upset! It is inexcusable for the trainer to allow this with a group of puppies she knew nothing about. Poor, poor Sadie.
 
#10 ·
That is horrible, i would not be going back to that class and possibly asking for a refund. Poor Sadie and poor you. Don't beat yourself up, your not a bad mommy, that is a really uneducated trainer.

Kelly is in beginners obedience and she is the smallest one there, she is surrounded by dogs that are 50lbs and bigger. The trainer has us sit in a spot away from the other dogs and the ones the seem more aggressive she has the owner and dog sit behind a gated part of the training center, still part of the class, but the dog is away from other dogs that way there will be no fights and no one is off leash. One dog couldn't concentrate at all when she saw other dogs, she was in a gated part of the training center and the trainer put a blanket over the gate so the dog couldn't see the other dogs, the owners decided on private classes for the dog after the one class. I really love the trainer we have, well i should say both trainers (one works training dolphins, seals and otters at the Gulfarium) she works alot with me and Kelly and they both only use positive reinforcement.
 
#13 ·
None of this was your fault. I place the blame on the trainer. It reminds me of when I first took Tyler to a puppy play group. Well all the other "puppies" were really large and pretty out of control and Tyler was petrified just like Sadie. It really wasn't a good facility and they didn't seem to care what the dogs did. Tyler sat between my legs and then insisted on me picking her up. After that I decided I really wanted to socialize him with dogs that were somewhat his size and we attended a Maltese Meet Up. Tyler was afraid the first one but then was perfectly fine after that. We then signed up for Puppy obedience and I asked about the size of the dogs. The trainer worked with me to make sure that Tyler was in a class of small to medium dogs. Most all the time was spent learning with a little socializing at the end after the pups had been familiar with seeing each other and a little tired from class. Like others I would suggest you get your money back from that class (that photo is enough to say it was a bad idea) and find another and make sure she or he is APDT certified. Also look for toy/small dog or Maltese meet ups in your area.
 
#14 · (Edited)
Here are a link to hopefully help you find a trainer if and when you decide to enroll her in a class, to search for a trainer in your area just go to the left and click 'Dog Trainer Search', for some reason when i try to link it here it takes you to the page on 'How to Chose a Dog Trainer'. I'm just so sorry that you and your baby had to go through that. :grouphug:



How to Choose a Dog Trainer
 
#16 ·
I totally agree with all the others and would definitely NOT take her back. I KNOW I would have cried so don't feel bad about feeling sad, mad and upset for your baby. We love our babies and hate to see them upset or hurting. In fact, I was even near tears reading this!! These little ones are so precious and do not need to be subjected to rough treatment of any kind. I think I might have been so mad that I would have gone and picked her up and jsut LEFT!!!!!!!!!! And to be honest, I am curious to know what that trainer was trying to accomplish with such harsh treatment.
 
#17 ·
I will definitely look into small dog meet ups in my area. I have a few friends in the area with dogs and we've had many successful puppy play dates, so maybe I will just keep doing that for now. Sadie has played with two yellow labs and was totally fine. She was actually bullying them and stealing all of their toys! I don't think it was even the size of these dogs tonight so much as the fact that they were stepping on her and squishing her.

I am going to email the trainer tomorrow about what happened. I did check out the link and the trainer I am going to is the only one that was listed in my area :-/ she is apparently certified and had amazing reviews online, which is why I signed up in the first place.

If I do end up going back, Sadie will NOT be participating in the play time, regardless of what anyone says. She can watch safely from my arms on the other side of the fence.

Thanks for the kind words and advice. I definitely need them tonight! This is my first dog that is completely my own so I just want to make sure I take the best care of her that I possibly can. And I want to make up for her rough start to life. Thanks again everyone.

I'm so happy I joined this forum :)


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#18 ·
There was a chocolate lab puppy, a German Shepard puppy and some stupid mean spotted puppy (not Dalmatian though) that were trampling her. They were all 30+ pounds at least. I felt uncomfortable from the second they started playing but I figured that the trainer knew what she was doing.

The actual training part went well though. Sadie caught on to a few things once we got home (too distracted during class wondering where the big mean dogs were)


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#19 ·
:( Your photo of Sadie ripped my heart out :( I would have been crying *in* class! I want to scoop her up and hug her :hugging:

Grace didn't get to do puppy class. But Gus did. He was the smallest in the class. The trainer there did the same thing. But since I knew Gus was going to be my SD, I watched the other puppies first before putting him down. The trainer glared at me and kept saying, "They are puppies, they will work it out". The other puppies were so rough! So I didn't put him down. I didn't want that experience.

Later in his next class the trainer had him do an exercise (she took him to "show the class") and the other dog she was using was reactive! He almost bit Gus. I left immediately and asked for my money back. It took me weeks to get Gus over that.

Don't feel bad about crying. And I agree 200% with the others - RUN from that trainer. Run very very far! If she can't properly supervise safe socialization between puppies on the first class - what is she going to do later on when people have issues they want addressed with those puppies?

Someone here suggested to me back when Grace was going to go to puppy class... to look at my local ASPCA for classes. I was really impressed. I was ready to sign her up for the next round.

I had also found another local group that does agility but they have great puppy classes. I also found a center that has weekly puppy "play dates" where they do just safe play time and separate the puppies by size AND temperament.

Before you decide on a class for her - make sure to ask the trainer how they do socialization in the class, AND how they handle size differences within class. When you decide on one - let the new trainer know about her scary first experience to puppy class. Maybe the trainer has her own well trained dogs (as they should!) and Sadie could go in for a positive "introduction" to the class space while meeting the safe well socialized dogs.

Hugs for your baby ..... Hugs for you. Get her back around her safe big friend for some healing play time....
 
#20 ·
If I remember correctly, in our puppy class, all of the dogs were either on leash or in owners' arms - no one was allowed off leash to play. The pups were allowed to greet each other and sniff each other but it was very carefully controlled.
 
#21 ·
I agree with everyone else. I would NEVER go back to that class and I would sure as heck be letting the trainer know why I wasn't coming back. There is no way those bigger dogs should have been allowed near Sadie. Don't feel bad for crying, my eyes teared up when I saw her picture by the fence.
 
#23 ·
I also agree that the trainer was at fault and I would never take her back..just seeing your pic of how terrified she looks made me cry. If it was Petco or Petsmart, I would demand my money back..I am glad she is okay..I never get my Malts around larger dogs...never have and never will..
 
#24 ·
I ran into the same type situation. It was supposed to be a small dog puppy class. Well, a 4 month old lab pup is NOT small. Young and uncontrolled paws flying all over. Spookie was 5# or so. This was at a highly respected dog training facility in my area. We did not go back, I let my feelings be known, still do. I did my own thing with her, she is fine anywhere now.
 
#25 ·
I am probably the least confrontational person ever so I don't want to get into some argument with this lady about getting my money back. However, I am definitely going to write her an email today and let her know that I was very very upset by what happened and reluctant to come back to class. Maybe she will realize how wrong it was? She did seem distracted by the little Boston Terrier puppy, who admittedly was very cute. I mean if I were her and there was a little tiny puppy in the same class as big stupid 50 pound dogs, I would watch the little one very carefully!!

I'm also reluctant to completely pull her out of this class because there aren't many options in my area and price range. There are plently of one on one trainers in my area, but they charge upwards of $90 for one session! I absolutely cannot afford that even if it would be a great option for her. There is also a puppy "boot camp" where they take the puppies for a week and train them for you, but I have ZERO interest in that. It's hard enough leaving for work in the morning, never mind shipping her off for a whole week.

I think Sadie will be fine in the class if we just don't participate in the off leash play time. The trainer can say whatever she wants about "learning to socialize," but I'd much rather my dog not be horribly traumatized every Wednesday night. We can watch from the other side of the fence until its time to learn on leashes.

Sadie has a vet appointment tomorrow afternoon to get her last round of shots, so maybe I can ask the vet about it as well. She would probably have a good recommendation for me.
 
#26 ·
Barb, how did you address this with the trainer?? Like what did you say? I am trying to figure out how to make my feelings known, but I am always (stupidly and unnecessarily) worried about being confrontational / rude.

The whole point of going to the class was to have Sadie learn to be social. She is so shy around new dogs / new experiences, so I was hoping that this would help her come out of her shell.
 
#27 ·
Long story, I had been on the board of directors at USDTC. And an agility trainer. This guy had been in my class. I just told him what I thought. That this class was advertised as being for small puppies. Not all size puppies. And that I did not appreciate 2 lab pups, a golden pup, and a 5 yo Aussie in this class. The Aussie had major issues. I still have friends there and keep up. I hear stuff at the dog park too. I will not recommend this place anymore, some things haven't changed.
I wasn't nasty, just the facts.
 
#28 ·
I am so sorry you and Sadie went through this. How scary. The whole point of puppy class is socialization, and negative experiences are just not good. Not to mention that she could really get hurt by the larger dogs.
This happened to me and Daisy too. She was the only little one and the trainer thought it was a good idea to let the group of big dogs gang up on her. She hid under a chair for the whole class and I was terrified that she would truly be hurt. She is such a happy outgoing little dog and to see she so scared was heartbreaking. The trainer was more concerned about letting the big dogs get to interact with a little one than about Daisy's safety. We never went back.
We found a great class through our SPCA (the MSPCA- Conn. must have one too). I explained to the trainer what had happened and she was horrified. She was very sensitive to keeping Daisy safe and making sure she was not scared. When we had off leash play time, Daisy would be in a large pen so the big dogs could run by and say hi, but she was safe. Some weeks there would be another little dog, and they would get to play together in the pen. She ended up having a great time, and we went back for obedience classes too.
I think is is hard to find classes with other small dogs in New England. Everyone seems to have Labs or Retrievers! But I would definitely try to find a trainer who is sensitive. I would call and speak with the trainer before signing up for a different class. I think it is important to find a good class for Sadie to overcome the negative experience. They are such sensitive little dogs. It is so fun to see them have a great time with the other dogs.
 
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