New Home for Oliver???? - Maltese Dogs Forum : Spoiled Maltese Forums

**Lacie's Mom** · 01-30-2013, 12:21 PM

The SIL of one of my co-workers would like to adopt Oliver. Rescue is leaving it to me to decide if this is the right home.

There are 2 boys in the household -- 8 and 11. SIL is stay at home Mom and DH is OK with adoption.

Maybe I'm just overly protective, knowing about his special needs, etc. but I'm almost afraid to let Oliver go -- not just to this home but to ANY home except someone else here on SM that would truly understand his special needs.

And yet, I do want a new home for him.

I've sold and placed so many of my Lhasas over the years that it shouldn't be this hard for me. It's not the family, as I have talked to them about his allergies. I might feel better if I had them figured out and a concrete routine for him that was easy to follow -- right now I feel that it's such trial and error. And yet, if he had been adopted from the shelter, this is exactly the type of home that he would probably have gone to.

What do you think I should do??? HELP

**michellerobison** · 01-30-2013, 12:28 PM

Even though she's a stay at home mom, is having two boys going to be stressful for Oliver , making his allergies flare up? If he goes through flare ups is she going to have the time, with cooking, cleaning, caring for two boys and all the school stuff and a dog with needs...
Their hearts are in the right place but how will Oliver handle it,wasn't he with an elderly owner? Isn't he older? Can't remember his age....

**Lacie's Mom** · 01-30-2013, 12:31 PM

Michelle -- he's 10 but right now he's playful. But my biggest fear is the boys accidently forgetting and letting him have food he shouldn't (as an example). Yes, an older, retired couple or person would be ideal, IF they would be willing to do all the things that must be done for his allergies.

What I don't want is to see him passed around from place to place because people decide it's too much to deal with.

**Kathleen** · 01-30-2013, 12:42 PM

Could you consider keeping Oliver for a little while longer until you figure out the best way to manage his allergies? Would they be willing to wait?
It is hard to trust someone else to figure it out for him. Allergies are such a tricky thing. No matter how well intentioned the new owners are, they don't have the knowledge and experience that you do to figure out what is best for him.
If you could keep him a little while longer, and figure out the best treatment for him, maybe it would be easier to let him go.
It sounds also like maybe you think he needs someone who will dote on him instead of a busy family. It would be very different for him to be with an older person or couple than it would to be with a family with two small boys. Although maybe that would be fun for him. Just something to consider. Special needs dogs and older dogs definitely do need a lot more attention and care. It is nice for them to be the center of someone's world.
Little Oliver sure is lucky to have you watching out for him and deciding what is best for him.

**maltese#1fan** · 01-30-2013, 01:11 PM

It's nice that they are willing to adopt Oliver, but I think your gut is telling you that this probably is not the right home for him. I agree with Michelle that the boys might stress out Oliver.

**Maglily** · 01-30-2013, 01:22 PM

They always say trust your instincts, so if something doesn't feel right, maybe waiting until it does may be better. I think the kids might stress him out too now when he is especially sensitive, and if they want him to be an active playmate. Plus their friends. He may eventually go to a family with kids but do it when you feel it's right. It this was his only option, it would be different.

**Sylie** · 01-30-2013, 01:27 PM

I wouldn't place him in a home with 2 young boys. I think it would be a hectic atmosphere compared to his past life. I would give it more time, and wait until you find someone who wants to adopt him about whom you have no reservations.

**babycake7** · 01-30-2013, 02:16 PM

I have two boys - six and 13 - and all the craziness that goes with their gender and age and sports activities. I can't imagine Oliver, particulalry with his issues and the fact that his previous owner was an older person, doing well in this kind of environment. It would just be too much for him I imagine. Heck, some days, its too much for me and I just want to scoop up Bella and run away. LOL. Trust you gut feeling. He sounds like such a good little soul...the right person will turn up.

**Ladysmom** · 01-30-2013, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babycake7

I have two boys - six and 13 - and all the craziness that goes with their gender and age and sports activities. I can't imagine Oliver, particulalry with his issues and the fact that his previous owner was an older person, doing well in this kind of environment. It would just be too much for him I imagine. Heck, some days, its too much for me and I just want to scoop up Bella and run away. LOL. Trust you gut feeling. He sounds like such a good little soul...the right person will turn up.

I agree. At age 10, Oliver has never been around children that much since his first mom was an elderly woman. I don't think placing him in a home with two boys would be a good fit.

Even Bailey, who thinks "little people" are the greatest creatures on earth was pretty done in when my grandchildren stayed for four days at Christmas. The last two days he was very happy to sit on my lap (with a glazed look!) and just watch them play with their new toys instead of joining in!

I also think you should give it more time to figure out his allergies. He's still on steroids, right? You definitely want to see how he does when those are stopped.

**Furbabies mom** · 01-30-2013, 02:28 PM

That's a busy age for kids... with sports, play dates, homework, swimming in the summer. I know when my kids were exactly that age, it was a very busy time. Even though mom would have the day free during the school year there is always a lot going on, plus those boys are going to bring friends over too. I think the lady may have a hard time with Oliver's needs and caring for all the busy family things

01-30-2013, 12:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lacie's Mom Super Moderator Name: Lynn Dog's Name: Lacie, Tilly and Secret Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico Posts: 14,329	New Home for Oliver???? The SIL of one of my co-workers would like to adopt Oliver. Rescue is leaving it to me to decide if this is the right home. There are 2 boys in the household -- 8 and 11. SIL is stay at home Mom and DH is OK with adoption. Maybe I'm just overly protective, knowing about his special needs, etc. but I'm almost afraid to let Oliver go -- not just to this home but to ANY home except someone else here on SM that would truly understand his special needs. And yet, I do want a new home for him. I've sold and placed so many of my Lhasas over the years that it shouldn't be this hard for me. It's not the family, as I have talked to them about his allergies. I might feel better if I had them figured out and a concrete routine for him that was easy to follow -- right now I feel that it's such trial and error. And yet, if he had been adopted from the shelter, this is exactly the type of home that he would probably have gone to. What do you think I should do??? HELP __________________ Lacie, Secret & Tilly

01-30-2013, 12:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
michellerobison Maltese Guru Name: Michelle Robison Dog's Name: Amber, Emily,Lil Bit, Rylee, Sasha and a cat named Harry Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: N.W. Ohio Posts: 7,069	Even though she's a stay at home mom, is having two boys going to be stressful for Oliver , making his allergies flare up? If he goes through flare ups is she going to have the time, with cooking, cleaning, caring for two boys and all the school stuff and a dog with needs... Their hearts are in the right place but how will Oliver handle it,wasn't he with an elderly owner? Isn't he older? Can't remember his age.... __________________ Mommy my bows are too tight... When bad grooming happens to good Malts... Jewellery, Doggie Goodies, Handmade tiles,cool flying pictures http://www.picturetrail.com/michellerobison Vote for Southern Comfort Maltese Rescue , Chattanooga, TN http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/c...hallenge.faces

01-30-2013, 12:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lacie's Mom Super Moderator Name: Lynn Dog's Name: Lacie, Tilly and Secret Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico Posts: 14,329	Michelle -- he's 10 but right now he's playful. But my biggest fear is the boys accidently forgetting and letting him have food he shouldn't (as an example). Yes, an older, retired couple or person would be ideal, IF they would be willing to do all the things that must be done for his allergies. What I don't want is to see him passed around from place to place because people decide it's too much to deal with. __________________ Lacie, Secret & Tilly

01-30-2013, 12:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
Kathleen Maltese Guru Dog's Name: Daisy, Max and Buddy; Grendel, Molly and Bunny in heaven Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 779	Could you consider keeping Oliver for a little while longer until you figure out the best way to manage his allergies? Would they be willing to wait? It is hard to trust someone else to figure it out for him. Allergies are such a tricky thing. No matter how well intentioned the new owners are, they don't have the knowledge and experience that you do to figure out what is best for him. If you could keep him a little while longer, and figure out the best treatment for him, maybe it would be easier to let him go. It sounds also like maybe you think he needs someone who will dote on him instead of a busy family. It would be very different for him to be with an older person or couple than it would to be with a family with two small boys. Although maybe that would be fun for him. Just something to consider. Special needs dogs and older dogs definitely do need a lot more attention and care. It is nice for them to be the center of someone's world. Little Oliver sure is lucky to have you watching out for him and deciding what is best for him. __________________ Daisy and Max

01-30-2013, 01:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
maltese#1fan Maltese Guru Name: Karen Dog's Name: Bella (and Heidi at the Bridge) Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Mount Joy, PA Posts: 834	It's nice that they are willing to adopt Oliver, but I think your gut is telling you that this probably is not the right home for him. I agree with Michelle that the boys might stress out Oliver. __________________ "In a perfect world every dog would have a home and every home would have a dog"

01-30-2013, 01:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
Maglily Maltese Guru Name: Brenda Dog's Name: Jodi Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: NL, Canada Posts: 8,052	They always say trust your instincts, so if something doesn't feel right, maybe waiting until it does may be better. I think the kids might stress him out too now when he is especially sensitive, and if they want him to be an active playmate. Plus their friends. He may eventually go to a family with kids but do it when you feel it's right. It this was his only option, it would be different. __________________

01-30-2013, 01:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
Sylie Maltese Guru Name: Sylvia Dog's Name: MiMi, Ray and RuRu Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Healdsburg, CA Posts: 6,404	I wouldn't place him in a home with 2 young boys. I think it would be a hectic atmosphere compared to his past life. I would give it more time, and wait until you find someone who wants to adopt him about whom you have no reservations. __________________ MiMi & Sylvie

01-30-2013, 02:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
babycake7 Maltese Guru Name: Hope Dog's Name: Bella Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: New Mexico Posts: 2,168	I have two boys - six and 13 - and all the craziness that goes with their gender and age and sports activities. I can't imagine Oliver, particulalry with his issues and the fact that his previous owner was an older person, doing well in this kind of environment. It would just be too much for him I imagine. Heck, some days, its too much for me and I just want to scoop up Bella and run away. LOL. Trust you gut feeling. He sounds like such a good little soul...the right person will turn up. __________________ Hope and Bella Breeze

01-30-2013, 02:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
Furbabies mom Maltese Guru Name: Deborah Dog's Name: Laurel (maltese), Dewey, Violet and Hardy and Dewey Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Central Ohio Posts: 8,601	That's a busy age for kids... with sports, play dates, homework, swimming in the summer. I know when my kids were exactly that age, it was a very busy time. Even though mom would have the day free during the school year there is always a lot going on, plus those boys are going to bring friends over too. I think the lady may have a hard time with Oliver's needs and caring for all the busy family things __________________ Deborah and my Fluffs, Laurel, Violet , Hardy and Dewey!

Remove Advertisements Sponsored Links
Maltese Dog Advertisement