A Woman's Week at the Gym - Maltese Dogs Forum : Spoiled Maltese Forums

**Snowbody** · 05-15-2010, 02:09 PM

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the **** would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other **** too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
******* was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that ******* Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the **** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

**Miss_Annie** · 05-15-2010, 02:16 PM

lol Thanks for posting this! It gave me a much needed smile for the day!

**sassy's mommy** · 05-15-2010, 09:53 PM

Too funny!

**Johita** · 05-16-2010, 12:06 AM

LOL thank you for the laugh. By the way, I love your new sig pic!!! Tyler is adorable!

**Snowbody** · 05-16-2010, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johita

LOL thank you for the laugh. By the way, I love your new sig pic!!! Tyler is adorable!

Thanks. I figured he needed a new look and just shot that photo

**Snow White** · 05-16-2010, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowbody

Thanks. I figured he needed a new look and just shot that photo

When I first started to read your post I couldn't imagine posting my week's diary of my workout. omg! Then as I continued to read...

I couldn't stop laughing and I couldn't wait to get to the end to see what happened. I hope that was a cut and paste job.

Thanks for the laugh.

I was also noticing your new siggy and Tyler's coat looks soooo nice!!!

**drclee** · 05-25-2010, 05:03 PM

Very funny!!!

**uniquelovdolce** · 06-10-2010, 11:33 AM

omg im rolling !!! hahah too funny the part about brushing her teeth killed me because i know what its like to be so sore that it hurts to breathe.

**KAG** · 06-10-2010, 01:33 PM

That's hysterical!!!
xoxoxoxoxo

05-15-2010, 02:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
Snowbody Maltese Guru Name: Susan Dog's Name: Tyler Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 12,942	A Woman's Week at the Gym A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. ________________________________ MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! ________________________________ TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me. _______________________________ WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the ** would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other too. _______________________________ THURSDAY: *** was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes. He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank. _________________________________ FRIDAY: I hate that *** Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the ** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? ________________________________ SATURDAY: Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.. ________________________________ SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!! __________________

05-15-2010, 09:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
sassy's mommy Maltese Guru Name: Pat Dog's Name: Sassy Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sunny Florida Posts: 15,379	Too funny! __________________ Pat & Sassy.....Life is good!

05-16-2010, 12:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
Johita Maltese Guru Dog's Name: Aolani Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Joysey Posts: 3,375	LOL thank you for the laugh. By the way, I love your new sig pic!!! Tyler is adorable! __________________ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Click here to see some of Aolani's videos

05-25-2010, 05:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
drclee Maltese Guru Name: Claudia Dog's Name: Jack & Jill Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Long Beach, CA Posts: 1,502	Very funny!!! __________________

06-10-2010, 11:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
uniquelovdolce Maltese Guru Name: liza Dog's Name: dolce Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: bx, ny Posts: 5,633	omg im rolling !!! hahah too funny the part about brushing her teeth killed me because i know what its like to be so sore that it hurts to breathe. __________________ UNIQUE DOLCE " my little dog - a heartbeat at my feet "

05-15-2010, 02:16 PM	#2 (permalink)
Miss_Annie Maltese Guru Name: Annie Dog's Name: Trinket Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,729	lol Thanks for posting this! It gave me a much needed smile for the day!

06-10-2010, 01:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
KAG Maltese Guru Name: Kerry Dog's Name: Lola in Heaven, Crisse, Darla and Fallon Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: New York, NY Posts: 7,023	That's hysterical!!! xoxoxoxoxo __________________

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