# I am at a loss



## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

I am at a loss and can use all the prayers, thoughts and even insight if any of you have some. I have to be kind of vague at this point but it seems my sweet three little beauties may have suffered some forms of abusive by a caregiver. We have removed them from the situation and their parents and I are working hard to help them heal. I am now home pre-schooling the 4 year old at our shop and taking care of all of them after school lets out until their Dad is done with work. It is taking all I have to contain myself and not retaliate in any way. It has all been reported and we are going through all the proper channels to try and ensure this never happens again to any child, but it has been brought to our attention that others have tried to stop it and some how it was dismissed. It has made me physically ill and still does when I think about it all. All I ask is for the truth to come out so no more children have to go through any thing like this again. 

So forgive me if I miss a post/thread or I am late in response. I am trying to juggle helping with the girls, work, and the disaster I came into with getting our belongings back post fire. I am hoping the belongings part will get better now that we had the owner of the cleaning service come to our home to show him how bad things actually were that his company returned to us. It is after 10:30 Sunday night and I am just getting ready to head back home from work. This will require me working some weekends and some late evenings when we are closed to keep caught up on our business but I have faith God will give me (and all of us) the strength and all I (we) need to get through this. P.S. Aviannah is being a little trooper! She really dislikes sharing me this much but she is tolerating all of it as long as we all give her the attention she demands! Thank you all in advance for any prayers and thoughts!


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Denise, saying prayers and sending hugs!


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## pippersmom (May 21, 2012)

Oh Denise I don't even know what to say except that I'm praying that everything works out and justice is served.


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Denise, this is horrendous! I have goosebumps, and not the good ones! Sending hugs and Prayers for you all.


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## jane and addison (Nov 1, 2012)

Sending prayers and hugs from here.


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## maggie's mommy (Mar 12, 2006)

Prayers that those responsible for this are brought to justice.


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

Thank goodness those girls have you in their life, Denise. 
Hopefully, they will thrive from your love and support now. It's all so very sad..they are so innocent and to know someone took advantage of them is inconceivable.
From what I know from friends who work for DSS, is that they are so overwhelmed with cases and not enough case workers, so a lot slips by, unfortunately. They focus on abuse of torture, life threatening situations first vs. anything else.
I hope this is not the case for you. 
Sending love, hugs and prayers to you, your son and the girls.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Oh Denise, my heart is broken for these little ones---an unfortunately it happens more often than we know! What a broken world we live in & there are no safe places. 
Our little Marco had been involved in "play therapy" w/a therapist (for a different issue) this last summer---so you may consider that. It isn't an immediate help but it does teach children how to define their negative feelings. It isn't a cure-all, but I think it was a very positive step.
Please know that you are doing the right thing to bring this person to accuntability---and you have my (& our) prayers & support. You can PM me if you want more info or just to vent. Much love to you my friend.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

maggieh said:


> Denise, saying prayers and sending hugs!


Thanks Maggie, we can use all we can get!



pippersmom said:


> Oh Denise I don't even know what to say except that I'm praying that everything works out and justice is served.


Thank you Kathy, I am at a loss for words myself over this! 



sherry said:


> Denise, this is horrendous! I have goosebumps, and not the good ones! Sending hugs and Prayers for you all.


Thanks Sherry. I needed to vent some of this out and I can not do so on FB right now. So I came to my SM family. The support helps and the prayers are always amazing! 



jane and addison said:


> Sending prayers and hugs from here.


Thank you Addison! So much appreciated. 



maggie's mommy said:


> Prayers that those responsible for this are brought to justice.


Thank you so much Pat!


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Denise,


This is horrible. I think you might want a 2 prong approach - legal and them therapy. It might be helpful to meet with a therapist for some guidence. Take care..


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## mylittleluna (Dec 19, 2017)

I'm really sorry to read this. I agree with the others in their recommendation of therapy. It may be useful in helping them understand what happened.

As a former teacher, I can't never understand how people can behave like this.

My prayers are with you and your family.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

maddysmom said:


> Thank goodness those girls have you in their life, Denise.
> Hopefully, they will thrive from your love and support now. It's all so very sad..they are so innocent and to know someone took advantage of them is inconceivable.
> From what I know from friends who work for DSS, is that they are so overwhelmed with cases and not enough case workers, so a lot slips by, unfortunately. They focus on abuse of torture, life threatening situations first vs. anything else.
> I hope this is not the case for you.
> Sending love, hugs and prayers to you, your son and the girls.


Thanks Joanne, I am blessed to have them too. They are sweet, smart, a tad sassy and full of love. Right now we are dealing with some repercussions (like potty accidents during sleep, melt downs when they get told they need to stop doing something, and bad dreams) but we will all help them get through it. That makes sense about DCS being busy but I pray this does not slip through again. We go see a doctor tomorrow just for a wellness check. 



edelweiss said:


> Oh Denise, my heart is broken for these little ones---an unfortunately it happens more often than we know! What a broken world we live in & there are no safe places.
> Our little Marco had been involved in "play therapy" w/a therapist (for a different issue) this last summer---so you may consider that. It isn't an immediate help but it does teach children how to define their negative feelings. It isn't a cure-all, but I think it was a very positive step.
> Please know that you are doing the right thing to bring this person to accuntability---and you have my (& our) prayers & support. You can PM me if you want more info or just to vent. Much love to you my friend.


Sandi I might FB messenger you this evening. Sometimes it helps to discuss it. I will see if the doctor thinks we need to do any therapy with them tomorrow when see her! Thanks for everything. 

I have been trying to post this for hours. :blink: Oh how crazy life can be! Still love it though.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

wkomorow said:


> Denise,
> 
> 
> This is horrible. I think you might want a 2 prong approach - legal and them therapy. It might be helpful to meet with a therapist for some guidence. Take care..


Thanks Walter! I think you are correct. We have the legal in motion and see the doctor tomorrow. I have friends in these fields as well that are being helpful. I think an overall check by her physician is a must.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

mylittleluna said:


> I'm really sorry to read this. I agree with the others in their recommendation of therapy. It may be useful in helping them understand what happened.
> 
> As a former teacher, I can't never understand how people can behave like this.
> 
> My prayers are with you and your family.


Thank you so much. I can not understand for the life of me either why people behave in such a horrible manner. None of it makes sense especially when you know all the story, that makes you more sick even though others get way worse!


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## mdbflorida (Feb 28, 2013)

I don't know what to say except we are here for you. This really has been a hard year for a lot of us. I would recommend a support group. Hugs


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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

I also have no words, but we are here for you if we can help in any way.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Denise - I just saw this. I'm just speechless. Those who prey on the young and vulnerable are the worst. I know it will be hard but hoping your perseverance pays off and saves others from being at the hands of people like this. After seeing what happened with young girls who were Olympians and their abuse and the silence around it for decades I hope people and the courts are starting to intervene and do something about it sooner. 



The children are so lucky to have you. You've had so many burdens on your shoulders this year that it's not fair but sometimes we go through trying periods that put us to the test. Take care of yourself. You can't afford to get sick. Hoping you can find help and I agree therapy would be good for them and a support group might not be bad for you either. I used to be a member of one because of my son's life threatening food allergies. It gave me a safe place to express myself to people who understand and walked in my shoes and an expert leading the group. It was very cathartic and I stayed on to help others. We love you and are here for you.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Snowbody said:


> Denise - I just saw this. I'm just speechless. Those who prey on the young and vulnerable are the worst. I know it will be hard but hoping your perseverance pays off and saves others from being at the hands of people like this. After seeing what happened with young girls who were Olympians and their abuse and the silence around it for decades I hope people and the courts are starting to intervene and do something about it sooner.
> 
> 
> 
> The children are so lucky to have you. You've had so many burdens on your shoulders this year that it's not fair but sometimes we go through trying periods that put us to the test. Take care of yourself. You can't afford to get sick. Hoping you can find help and I agree therapy would be good for them and a support group might not be bad for you either. I used to be a member of one because of my son's life threatening food allergies. It gave me a safe place to express myself to people who understand and walked in my shoes and an expert leading the group. It was very cathartic and I stayed on to help others. We love you and are here for you.


:goodpost::goodpost::ThankYou::ThankYou:


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Snowbody said:


> Denise - I just saw this. I'm just speechless. Those who prey on the young and vulnerable are the worst. I know it will be hard but hoping your perseverance pays off and saves others from being at the hands of people like this. After seeing what happened with young girls who were Olympians and their abuse and the silence around it for decades I hope people and the courts are starting to intervene and do something about it sooner.
> 
> 
> 
> The children are so lucky to have you. You've had so many burdens on your shoulders this year that it's not fair but sometimes we go through trying periods that put us to the test. Take care of yourself. You can't afford to get sick. Hoping you can find help and I agree therapy would be good for them and a support group might not be bad for you either. I used to be a member of one because of my son's life threatening food allergies. It gave me a safe place to express myself to people who understand and walked in my shoes and an expert leading the group. It was very cathartic and I stayed on to help others. We love you and are here for you.



:goodpost:
Denise I read this thread yesterday and it broke my heart, it was more then I could read, so I had to step back for a day to cool off. those poor little innocent souls, I am thankful you are in their lives. When I think of someone hurting a child well it angers me., angers me more then I can say. I will be praying for you and especially for those little ones, that they will get the help they so deserve. I just want to hug them and help them


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

mdbflorida said:


> I don't know what to say except we are here for you. This really has been a hard year for a lot of us. I would recommend a support group. Hugs


Thanks Mags! We took the 4 year old to her pediatrician yesterday since she has been the one to most effected (she wass the only one there all day two older sisters in grade school and only there a while after school). She gave us a specialist if needed but she feels we can get them through this with what all we are doing. Just being away from it all seems to of made a huge difference already. No more bad dreams and no recent accidents. Tummy aches and headaches getting fewer as well. 

I think you are so right, it really seems like so many people are having a hard year or two! 




revakb2 said:


> I also have no words, but we are here for you if we can help in any way.


Thank you Reva! I appreciate it.




Snowbody said:


> Denise - I just saw this. I'm just speechless. Those who prey on the young and vulnerable are the worst. I know it will be hard but hoping your perseverance pays off and saves others from being at the hands of people like this. After seeing what happened with young girls who were Olympians and their abuse and the silence around it for decades I hope people and the courts are starting to intervene and do something about it sooner.
> 
> 
> 
> The children are so lucky to have you. You've had so many burdens on your shoulders this year that it's not fair but sometimes we go through trying periods that put us to the test. Take care of yourself. You can't afford to get sick. Hoping you can find help and I agree therapy would be good for them and a support group might not be bad for you either. I used to be a member of one because of my son's life threatening food allergies. It gave me a safe place to express myself to people who understand and walked in my shoes and an expert leading the group. It was very cathartic and I stayed on to help others. We love you and are here for you.


Thank you Sue! Means a lot to me. We have all the wheels in motion now. The 4 year old had a good long talk with her pediatrician (her Dad and I took her together) and even though she was nervous she opened up and told her everything she told us. Bless her heart, she held my hand with her two hands and just squeezed and wrenched my fingers while talking. I am beyond thankful her physical check came out good. PTL because this could of been way worse. Breaks my heart though knowing so many kids endure worse things. It is therapeutic just come talk here a bit actually since I have to keep it off FB. Now I pray all parents are honest and kids speak up so we can stop this from continuing. I will be keeping the girls in my care while their dad works and when they not visiting their mom. Love back my friend. 




Matilda's mommy said:


> :goodpost:
> Denise I read this thread yesterday and it broke my heart, it was more then I could read, so I had to step back for a day to cool off. those poor little innocent souls, I am thankful you are in their lives. When I think of someone hurting a child well it angers me., angers me more then I can say. I will be praying for you and especially for those little ones, that they will get the help they so deserve. I just want to hug them and help them


Thank you Paula. They are already doing much better being far away from it all. I seem to have good luck when they do go into type melt down mode just reminding them they are no longer in that situation and will not be treated that way anymore. We remind them many times a day that they did nothing wrong. When I say melt downs an example: Yesterday the 4 yr. old dropped a little cup of bbq sauce and immediately curled up on the floor crying. I helped her up and told her it was accident and no need to be upset because messes clean up. She helped me clean it up and we moved on.

As I typed this she made a mistake on my iPad where she has her ABC mouse learning games. That simple mistake has her in tears and requires hugs and reminding her again how her mistakes are normal and the way a child learns. I hold back tears because it rips my heart out to see her hurt over such trivial things and when they go home with daddy I will bawl my eyes out to release my pain. Off for some one on one care for her now and pick up her sisters soon!


Thanks everyone it helps for me to read and vent here some! We will get through this all and we will all come out stronger and better. Love and prayers to all of you! Please excuse any typos, no time to proofread today!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Denise, you continue in my prayers as you move forward w/the girls. Please take care of yourself---you have had a rough year in so many ways! We truly care about you & your family. Big hugs.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Denise, please know you and your family are in my prayers. I am so, so sorry with what all of you are going through ... that is horrible what happened. I do agree with your friends here who think it would help to seek legal advice and also to receive counseling.

Sending you much love and many prayers. If you need to talk, PM me, and I would be happy to give you my phone numbers. It's just hard for me to spend much time online right now ... but, I can talk on the phone.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

edelweiss said:


> Denise, you continue in my prayers as you move forward w/the girls. Please take care of yourself---you have had a rough year in so many ways! We truly care about you & your family. Big hugs.


Thank you Sandi. Right now I am relying on His strength to get me through. One day at a time one moment at a time. The Doctor is very confident the girls will pull through this if we keep dealing with it as we have been. It just so bizarre. I wish I could be more specific. I will message you on FB if you want to know some details. It helps knowing people have our back here.




Snowball Pie's Mommi said:


> Denise, please know you and your family are in my prayers. I am so, so sorry with what all of you are going through ... that is horrible what happened. I do agree with your friends here who think it would help to seek legal advice and also to receive counseling.
> 
> Sending you much love and many prayers. If you need to talk, PM me, and I would be happy to give you my phone numbers. It's just hard for me to spend much time online right now ... but, I can talk on the phone.


Thank you Marie! Prayers mean the world to me and all of us. I hope you can get time to go peek at my FB page and watch a little video I posted of the girls from 4 years ago. Every moment with them makes me a better person. Ever since the day I became Mom I have said (or thought) that my kids have taught me more than I could ever teach them and that is holding true still today through grand-kids, nieces and nephews (and all my friends little ones that are like family to me). They teach an adult what true unconditional love is, what fun really is, what innocence is, true beauty...commitment...OMGosh I could go on and on with what children can teach us adults if only all adults would see the potential. I have been through a lot but when you live life like I do I think that is part of what happens. I would go through all of it all over again to get the massive amount of love and joy I also have gotten along the way. I think I will PM you my number so you can call when get free time!


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## Tanner's Mom (May 27, 2005)

Just now reading this and I am so sorry. You've been given good advice by many kind & loving people here--one of the reasons I like SM so much.


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Thinking of you...


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

Tanner's Mom said:


> Just now reading this and I am so sorry. You've been given good advice by many kind & loving people here--one of the reasons I like SM so much.


Thanks Marti, I could not agree with you more! :wub:




sherry said:


> Thinking of you...


Thank you Sherry!


This is one hard working home (office :w00t pre-schooled little girl!


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## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

Denise, I'm really sorry to hear about the little ones. I know the pain you are dealing with, and even the retaliation part. Hugs to you and yours.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Denise your on my heart, you have your hands full, just want you to know that I am praying for you.


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## thesummergirl (Oct 1, 2018)

Oh I just have no words. Sending you all my hugs and love. Praying for you guys.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

angel's mom said:


> Denise, I'm really sorry to hear about the little ones. I know the pain you are dealing with, and even the retaliation part. Hugs to you and yours.


Lynne thank you and I am sorry you have had similar things to deal with. The girls are all doing very well in my opinion. I know it could of been much worse and is much worse for others. They are still sharing some things with us but that makes me feel like they healing and dealing at least. 



Matilda's mommy said:


> Denise your on my heart, you have your hands full, just want you to know that I am praying for you.


Thank you Paula, prayers mean the world to us. The girls are doing well now and I will do everything in my power to help prevent this from happening again. 



thesummergirl said:


> Oh I just have no words. Sending you all my hugs and love. Praying for you guys.


Thanks Bridget. We will take all the prayers we can get and they are helping, the girls are doing so much better than they were!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Thinking of you and the children Denise and I so sorry such a horrible thing has happened. Praying all of this discussion helps you and those little ones heal and now feel safe surrounded by all the love and support they are receiving.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

Maglily said:


> Thinking of you and the children Denise and I so sorry such a horrible thing has happened. Praying all of this discussion helps you and those little ones heal and now feel safe surrounded by all the love and support they are receiving.


Thanks Brenda! They seem to be doing very well all things considered. I know it will take time and we have to just keep reassuring them that those days are over. I think we are very blessed that it was not as bad as some can be.


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