# I cant take it anymore....



## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

deleted


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

You poor thing. I don't have a single bit of wisdom to give you except to just take it one day at a time. I am glad that you feel like you can vent here. We'll all listen and I really hope it helps you in some small way.....


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> You poor thing. I don't have a single bit of wisdom to give you except to just take it one day at a time. I am glad that you feel like you can vent here. We'll all listen and I really hope it helps you in some small way.....[/B]


Yes, it does help talking to someone, and as much as I can talk to my bf about anything and everything...this is one thing I cant! He doesnt just listen...He gets this opinion of my mom and thinks he has to share it, when really all I want him to do is listen and help me through this...I am a type of person that needs to talk through my feelings and talking really helps me feel better (in some way). Thank you so much for listening!


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

oh...i'm so sorry. i really don't have anything to offer but my sympathy and support. :grouphug: 
you go'head and vent if it'll lighten your load. 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## precious paws (Jun 7, 2006)

Krystal, I'm sorry you are going through so much right now. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

This all just sucks Krystal. I would feel very hurt about my mom lying to me too! And you already know what I think about the dad situation being I haven't seen/talked to mine since I was 3 :smmadder: Maybe you could search online and see if there is a headquarters number or something for the credit company that Paul needs to talk to to clear his name? Worth a shot anyway. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time :bysmilie:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

deleted


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## kiki & pippin's mom (Jun 5, 2007)

:grouphug: Hang in there :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> :grouphug: Hang in there :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you, I am trying!! I really am...


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

I'm sorry about everything that is going on right now. Just remember that it will eventually get better.
And just so you know that you aren't alone.....
My mom and dad divorced when I was 11 with no warning at all. I remember one day coming home from school to be told by my mother that my dad was leaving. My dad didn't have the guts to tell us himself! Then he got re-married within 2 weeks of both his divorce and the new wife's divorce. The 2nd wife wanted us around if it would benefit her, but no other time. My dad never was around much after that. But at the time, I didn't want him around. At some point, my mom and I had this huge discussion, which led to revealing to me that when my mom found out she was pregnant that she had attempted to have an abortion. The only thing that stopped her was the car broke down. Nice thing to share with your daughter.
Fast forward, my dad had a child with his 2nd wife. Got divorced. Married his 3rd wife. I have lived in WV for over 4 years, and he has never been here. He rarely calls. And then tries to make me feel like I am doing something wrong because I am not calling him.
My mom is extremely busy, and being single spends time trying to find someone to share her life with. She has this horrid boyfriend, whom she doesn't admit to having any more. He just really isn't the kind of guy I want to see her with, and she knows this. But she is so afraid of being alone that she will settle with whomever happens to come along.
My brother just got married. My husband just got a new job which is requiring us to move. The new job also means that he is traveling much more than ever before. And that isn't what it was supposed to be like. I have medical issues and 3 small kids (9, 7 and 5). Between everyone and everything, there are more times than not that I am depressed, stressed, overwhelmed, ready to pull my hair out, etc.
Did I mention that I am in school too? I am taking 15 hours through a distance learning program. Hopefully I will be able to graduate in May. 
As hard as it is, at some point you have to stop letting your parents dictate your feelings so much. They are not what makes you or breaks you. As far as the financial situation with your boyfriend, I wish I could offer you some advise. I hope that you can find a solution that allows your boyfriend to stay in school were he is. Good luck! And if you ever need to "talk" just pm me.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

*hugs you* I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this!


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

Oh Krystal! I'm so sorry you have all of this going on! :grouphug: :grouphug: I would be furious if my Mom lied to me like your Mom did! You have every right to be mad!!

I understand how you feel though...it always seems like when it rains, IT POURS!!!  I hate it. I hate having some many things go wrong at the same time. It makes me want to hide in bed with Tango and Tillie!  

I hope things get better soon for you. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> *hugs you* I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this![/B]


Thanks...I just hope it all gets better soon...



> Oh Krystal! I'm so sorry you have all of this going on! :grouphug: :grouphug: I would be furious if my Mom lied to me like your Mom did! You have every right to be mad!!
> 
> I understand how you feel though...it always seems like when it rains, IT POURS!!!  I hate it. I hate having some many things go wrong at the same time. It makes me want to hide in bed with Tango and Tillie!
> 
> I hope things get better soon for you. :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


Yes, it does seem like when it rains it pours, but right now I feel like its past pouring, its hailing or storming!!


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## jenniferhope423 (Jun 25, 2007)

Praying for you that everything works out. rayer:


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

Krystal,
I guess I realized that even as much as I wanted us to be such good friends, I couldn't change who she was. Nor do I want to. My mom is a wonderful person, that I do feel is a good friend. Will we ever be as close as I hope? Probably not. But I had to realize that I was my own person, and I am the one most responsible for my happiness. As much as I love my family, I am not very surprised by some of their actions.
I have learned that my mom will omit telling me certain things, when she is embarrassed over it. That is who she is. I have learned that my dad is simply clueless. He has a close relationship with my brother (who is 5 1/2 years younger than me), and is even raising my half-brother full-time. He cares about me and my family, but he is who he is. I no longer expect anything else. This isn't to say that the behaviors don't bother me some times. I would be lying if I did. However, I remind myself that I shouldn't be surprised by the way things are. And I have to push those things out of my mind so that I can take care of my immediate family.
Frosty & Manning really make a world of difference in maintaining my sanity. But, believe me, there are MANY times that I feel like I am completely losing it. I want to scream, kick, cry, laugh, and crawl into a hole that doesn't open back up. Then I remember that everything is temporary in the grand scheme of things. I also remember that God has His hand on me protecting me along the way. He never said life would be easy, but He did say that we are never alone.


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Ahhh honey, so sorry you have all this emotional stress going on in your life! From what I've read..you sound more mature than the adults in this situation. 
Try to keep the lines of comunication open but try to focus on your life and doing what needs to be done for you. Eventually things may all fall into place.


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Awww Krystal - I am so sorry you are going through this - just remember all these trying things in your life will just make you a better person and one day a better wife and parent.

We all want the best for our children but sometimes, parents get caught up in their own lives that after the kids are on their feet they feel they can get on with a different life ...

Just be patient, maybe your mum is going through a mid life crisis type of thing :new_shocked: 
She will come around. I can get really mad at my kids and next minute it's like nothing happened.

I hope things start getting better all around - could it get worse.

Remember that Mia is always there for you with unconditional love and wet licks .... :wub: 

Vent anytime you want.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Praying for you that everything works out. rayer:[/B]


Thank you, I really need that...



> Krystal,
> I guess I realized that even as much as I wanted us to be such good friends, I couldn't change who she was. Nor do I want to. My mom is a wonderful person, that I do feel is a good friend. Will we ever be as close as I hope? Probably not. But I had to realize that I was my own person, and I am the one most responsible for my happiness. As much as I love my family, I am not very surprised by some of their actions.
> I have learned that my mom will omit telling me certain things, when she is embarrassed over it. That is who she is. I have learned that my dad is simply clueless. He has a close relationship with my brother (who is 5 1/2 years younger than me), and is even raising my half-brother full-time. He cares about me and my family, but he is who he is. I no longer expect anything else. This isn't to say that the behaviors don't bother me some times. I would be lying if I did. However, I remind myself that I shouldn't be surprised by the way things are. And I have to push those things out of my mind so that I can take care of my immediate family.
> Frosty & Manning really make a world of difference in maintaining my sanity. But, believe me, there are MANY times that I feel like I am completely losing it. I want to scream, kick, cry, laugh, and crawl into a hole that doesn't open back up. Then I remember that everything is temporary in the grand scheme of things. I also remember that God has His hand on me protecting me along the way. He never said life would be easy, but He did say that we are never alone.[/B]


Thank you so much for sharing that with me...I only wish I were as wise and brave and tough as you are...I always seem to let my emotions get the best of me...


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## mom2molly (Jan 26, 2007)

Krystal, I'm so sorry you going through such a tough time right now.....You will be in my prayers :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Ahhh honey, so sorry you have all this emotional stress going on in your life! From what I've read..you sound more mature than the adults in this situation.
> Try to keep the lines of comunication open but try to focus on your life and doing what needs to be done for you. Eventually things may all fall into place.[/B]


It is so hard for me to focus only on my life when I know that everyone else around me who I love is having problems too... I try so hard to make everyone happy and do the best I can to be perfect but I cant...



> Awww Krystal - I am so sorry you are going through this - just remember all these trying things in your life will just make you a better person and one day a better wife and parent.
> 
> We all want the best for our children but sometimes, parents get caught up in their own lives that after the kids are on their feet they feel they can get on with a different life ...
> 
> ...


hehehe, Mia always comes to the rescue when I am sobbing! She likes to lick up all my tears! She sure is my comic relief...But boy oh boy does she add to my stress sometimes! She is in this stage where she thinks it is fun to chew up the carpet!! Yep, 5 corners of my apt are bare!!


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Krystal, I'm so sorry you going through such a tough time right now.....You will be in my prayers :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you...


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## Tina (Aug 6, 2006)

First off, RESPECT yourself. Very important. Don't let people tear you down like they are doing. You are worthy of LOVE and RESPECT. Your dad isn't worth all this stress. Next, state your feelings very simply when they do things to you. Don't wait for an answer, just state that like with your dad: "I don't like being ignored by you." Walk away or hang up and leave it behind you. Mom wants to put the blame on someone because she knows it is wrong to have an affair. You weren't supposed to NOTICE. And especially you are not supposed to BRING it up. People attack others who they precieve to know something they don't want the rest of the world to know.
Hand in there.
Tina


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## Cosy (Feb 9, 2006)

This may not help but at least you are not a young child having to 
cope with these behaviours from your parents. 
Sometimes parents do very childish things and we can forgive them
and go on or allow them to turn our lives upside down along with
theirs. I hope you can forgive and move on with your life and 
focus on something other than their manipulations. They can only 
turn the tables on you if you let them


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

I am so sorry your're going through this. Just keep telling yourself - This too wil pass. I have the opposite proble with my daughter. I am too honest with her. I tell her what I think she doing wrong, and unfortunately she thinks I'm too judgmental so pulls away from me. I only want the best for her, but she has pulled away alot because she doesn't want to hear anything she disagrees with. I'm sure your mother loves you, but she doesn't want to disappoint you. I'm sure the two of you will work it out. Just hang in there. Remember we are always hear to listen.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

:grouphug: I am sorry Krystal.
Ya know sometimes I feel like running away from my life, so much pressure and sometimes nonsense. I know it's hard to cope with things and many times I have went off on people I love, thats my way I can't shut up about things :biggrin: I know only to well about divorce and it's hard on kids, I don't care what age they are it's hard. I have grown up so much it took something very bad happening in my life to realize how important my husband and my kids are and that no matter what I have them .
I swear money, things, cars they don't mean a thing when you feel like your so alone and can't get up from the weight that is holding you down. Your dad doesn't know what he is missing what a shame, your a smart, funny, sweet girl and I would be so proud if you were mine, this thing with your mom don't let it get you down it just a bump in the road of many, she loves you ~she is going through her own mess and is taking out on you (She shouldn't and thats not an excuse) but she is in pain and maybe can't deal with it in the right way, I know she loves you. Let things calm down and then try to have a sit down and if that doesnt work then just do whats best for you , Krystal live your life with respect and be loyal and kind and giving and help others and be true to you and those are the kinds of people you will attract and thats what you need to be around good positive people, you deserve that sweetie/ your that kind of person..

Don't worry about anything just relax and put your mind at ease like the saying goes "If God brought you to it, he' will bring you through it"


ANDREA :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Gemma (Jan 19, 2006)

I'm so sorry. I can just feel your stress and pain by reading your post  . I don't know what I would have done. usually life has this thing that all the bad stuff happens at once. just take a break and forget about some of the problems and take one issue at a time. for example I would concentrate on the credit problem for now. solve one problem at a time. you can do it. before you know it everything is good again. I don't know about your dad but it is his problem that he didn't talk to you. so don't even think about it now until some of the other problems go away. 
I'll pray for a good outcome rayer: :grouphug:


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## PuttiePie (Nov 22, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Andrea&Luci (Jul 30, 2006)

Krystal....try to relax and stay strong!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## wooflife (Aug 8, 2007)

Hang in there Krystal. Sometimes everything falls apart at once. I can see your getting lot's of virtual love and support out here on the forum. There is lot's of great advice coming your way

I've never been in your situation but I know what it's like to feel hopeless and frusterated. We are all here for you. Vent whenever you need to. 

I don't have anything to add just keeping you in our thoughts and pawyers at our house. :grouphug: rayer: 

Leslie, Izzy, Hemi, and Wedge


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

You poor thing. It's hard to be young and face all those things. You should be carefree and enjoying yourself!! But like others said--it will make you stronger--it will make you a better wife, mom, etc. in your future. 

Really--don't hesitate to go and talk to a counselor--a therapist, a minister/pastor/priest, etc., someone that can not only listen but give you some good guidance. 

As you get older and learn from experience you will learn how to draw healthy emotional boundaries in your life so that others or family or whomever will not drag you down. It's taken me almost 40 years to START to figure it out, lol. For me when I had my own kids things sort of fell into place in a sense--I was able to push aside my family circus of clowns and focus more on bettering myself and giving to my kids. It'll happen for you, you'll see!

Hang in there, girlie, you're going to come out a better person. And I hope some light can dawn on your family, too, and they will appreciate the precious gift that they were given--YOU, their child!!


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Ugg, life i


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Ugg, life is treating you badly right now. Sounds like your parents are having their own problems and don't know how to handle them maturely...I'm not judjing....it can happen to anyone, I guess.

I guess the best thing you can do right now is just focus on yourself, you've got way too much going on to get involved with other people's problems. 

Life will get better, and when it does, you'll say "how did I ever get through that?" - but just keep doing what ever you have to do to keep going and you'll get through. 

We're here, we're not going anywhere, we'll listen.

Take care.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> :grouphug: I am sorry Krystal.
> Ya know sometimes I feel like running away from my life, so much pressure and sometimes nonsense. I know it's hard to cope with things and many times I have went off on people I love, thats my way I can't shut up about things :biggrin: I know only to well about divorce and it's hard on kids, I don't care what age they are it's hard. I have grown up so much it took something very bad happening in my life to realize how important my husband and my kids are and that no matter what I have them .
> I swear money, things, cars they don't mean a thing when you feel like your so alone and can't get up from the weight that is holding you down. Your dad doesn't know what he is missing what a shame, your a smart, funny, sweet girl and I would be so proud if you were mine, this thing with your mom don't let it get you down it just a bump in the road of many, she loves you ~she is going through her own mess and is taking out on you (She shouldn't and thats not an excuse) but she is in pain and maybe can't deal with it in the right way, I know she loves you. Let things calm down and then try to have a sit down and if that doesnt work then just do whats best for you , Krystal live your life with respect and be loyal and kind and giving and help others and be true to you and those are the kinds of people you will attract and thats what you need to be around good positive people, you deserve that sweetie/ your that kind of person..
> 
> ...


Thank you so much Andrea for your response. It was very very sweet and I do agree with you that my mom is going through a tough time right now, BUT I dont like that she is taking this out on me. My mom has been going through a mess for a while now and our conversation a few nights ago was supposed to help her destress and create a better friendship between us. We were supposed to be completely honest with eachother and it was supposed to be a start of a new kind of relationship between the two of us. But I feel completely betrayed. I feel like our conversation was just a bunch of crap. 

I do believe that my childhood has made me the person I am today. I have had a tough childhood as my mom had a tough time with my biological dad....But I thought that things were supposed to get better and they seem to only be getting worse. I dont know, maybe I am trying to be too mature for my age, but its just the way I am.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

:grouphug: :grouphug: 
Hang in there - Just remember to take care of YOU. School is very important - focus on feeling good/being healthy and taking care of your studies. Venting is good don't keep this stuff inside.
I hope things get better soon. Treat yourself to something you like that will get your mind off all these issues - like exercise, a spa session.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> I'm so sorry. I can just feel your stress and pain by reading your post  . I don't know what I would have done. usually life has this thing that all the bad stuff happens at once. just take a break and forget about some of the problems and take one issue at a time. for example I would concentrate on the credit problem for now. solve one problem at a time. you can do it. before you know it everything is good again. I don't know about your dad but it is his problem that he didn't talk to you. so don't even think about it now until some of the other problems go away.
> I'll pray for a good outcome rayer: :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you so much Fay. Paul (my bf) are trying to get that resolved right now while I am trying to talk to my mom at the same time. It seems that she feels like I am attacking her, but really, all I want is the truth! Paul and I are spending a weekend in Santa Cruz next weekend, so hopefully that will help me get my mind off things!


> :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you!!


> Krystal....try to relax and stay strong!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you so much! I have always been such a stress ball...I am not happy until I give everything 110% And I have always been one to make sure that everyone is happy whether or not that means I am happy too...I guess I need to get over that and focus on making me happy! But to be honest...I dont know how!



> Hang in there Krystal. Sometimes everything falls apart at once. I can see your getting lot's of virtual love and support out here on the forum. There is lot's of great advice coming your way
> 
> I've never been in your situation but I know what it's like to feel hopeless and frusterated. We are all here for you. Vent whenever you need to.
> 
> ...


YES! I love SM! You are the only family Ive got right now!!!!!!!!!!!



> You poor thing. It's hard to be young and face all those things. You should be carefree and enjoying yourself!! But like others said--it will make you stronger--it will make you a better wife, mom, etc. in your future.
> 
> Really--don't hesitate to go and talk to a counselor--a therapist, a minister/pastor/priest, etc., someone that can not only listen but give you some good guidance.
> 
> ...


I tried talking to a therapist 2 years ago to help me deal with the anger I had with my father, but it didnt really help...I felt like they were telling me things that I already knew and telling me to write a letter, which I had already done....Maybe I should give it another try though...



> Ugg, life is treating you badly right now. Sounds like your parents are having their own problems and don't know how to handle them maturely...I'm not judjing....it can happen to anyone, I guess.
> 
> I guess the best thing you can do right now is just focus on yourself, you've got way too much going on to get involved with other people's problems.
> 
> ...


Yes, my parents are being very immature about this whole thing...My mother especially! Its not that I am trying to get involved in other peoples problems, but everything that is happening affects me in some way or another...I hope that you are all right when you say that life will get better!!! And when it does, I will have my SM family to thank for helping me get through this mess!! :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> :grouphug: :grouphug:
> Hang in there - Just remember to take care of YOU. School is very important - focus on feeling good/being healthy and taking care of your studies. Venting is good don't keep this stuff inside.
> I hope things get better soon. Treat yourself to something you like that will get your mind off all these issues - like exercise, a spa session.[/B]


I did go to the gym this morning to release some stress, but once I got home it just all came back. My body is just drained and I ache everywhere...I just feel like sitting on the couch watching sad movies all day with a bucket of ice cream....


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

Krystal, I am very sorry about what is going on in your life currently and what has gone on in the past. I think, if you dig a little you would find more people CAN understand your issues then would not. They can understand, because they have dealt with some of the same issues in their lives.

I think Angie brought up something very important. "*Then I remember that everything is temporary in the grand scheme of things. I also remember that God has His hand on me protecting me along the way. He never said life would be easy, but He did say that we are never alone.* "


Try to focus on yourself, what you need to do to get through school. Clearly you can't change your Father and may not be able to impact your Mother right now. School is YOUR main issue or should be, for YOUR furture. A super stressed brain is not a good learning brain.... wake up, eat a healthy breakfast, drink water to open your mind and say to yourself, "I am doing this for me." You can make yourself a better person and no one can take that from you. LOVE YOURSELF and others will love you.

In no way am I trying to tell you that what you are going through is something easy to "shake off".... believe me, I know it is not and yes I have done plenty of learning about these issues in my life.

I wish you peace of mind and strength to move forward,
Melanie


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Krystal, I am very sorry about what is going on in your life currently and what has gone on in the past. I think, if you dig a little you would find more people CAN understand your issues then would not. They can understand, because they have dealt with some of the same issues in their lives.
> 
> I think Angie brought up something very important. "*Then I remember that everything is temporary in the grand scheme of things. I also remember that God has His hand on me protecting me along the way. He never said life would be easy, but He did say that we are never alone.* "
> 
> ...


I know that I need to be focusing on myself, but I dont know how...I dont know how to let all other things not bother me....


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## totallytotontuffy (May 16, 2007)

Krystal, I'm sorry that you are going through so much anguish right now. A mother/daughter relationship is a very complex thing. I agree with some of the other people's comments that your Mom may have been untruthful to you because she doesn't want to disappoint you or look bad in your eyes. If both of you can calm down, at some point maybe you can tell her that you are concerned about her and love her regardless of what choices she makes in her personal life. And that if and when she wants to talk about it you will be there for her. Given time, she may feel more comfortable talking to you about it. :grouphug: Debbie


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

Bless your heart Krystal! I hope everything gets better for you soon!


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=436580
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Oh yes you will. If you didn't care so much about each other, there wouldn't be all this conflict. This too shall pass.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=436582
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I hope you are right...I just wish I didnt have to be the adult in this relationship...Thats how I feel anyway...I always have to be the adult in my relationship with my dad, and I wish it wasnt the same here...but i guess it is!


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## robin (Jul 11, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry you are going thru this Krystal. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry you are going thru this Krystal. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you for the hugs!!


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Krystal, I went back and read the whole thread. You have explained a lot more as you responded to other people's posts. I would like to encourage you to go to your school's counseling center and give counseling another try. Maybe this is the time that counseling would give you some relief, even if it just allows you to vent. YOU are not responsible for your father's shortcomings or your mother's situation. Try and breathe and do healthy things for yourself and don't think too much about what could happen. I am very concerned for you.....


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

Krystal ~

I haven't spent much time on the threads, and just noticed this.

Hang in there, sweetheart. You always have us to talk to, and perhaps, as Susan mentioned, some additional counseling might really help ease your mind, and put things in perspective.

Give extra hugs to Mia, and that special boyfriend of yours.

You, and your family, are in my thoughts. Bless your little heart. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Krystal, I went back and read the whole thread. You have explained a lot more as you responded to other people's posts. I would like to encourage you to go to your school's counseling center and give counseling another try. Maybe this is the time that counseling would give you some relief, even if it just allows you to vent. YOU are not responsible for your father's shortcomings or your mother's situation. Try and breathe and do healthy things for yourself and don't think too much about what could happen. I am very concerned for you.....[/B]


I may try and give counseling another try...I hope you dont think that I am going to do anything crazy!! Because I am NOT!! And yes my whole life story is basically on this thread....


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Krystal ~
> 
> I haven't spent much time on the threads, and just noticed this.
> 
> ...



Thank you Deb....I appreciate it! And yes Mia and my bf are getting lots of hugs from me!! Whenever I lay in his lap Mia always comes over and kisses my face as to say "I love you too mommy!"


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

[attachment=26745:boq.gif]

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Krystal, I am so sorry there is so much disappointment in your life right now, but try to stay strong and look to your future, do well in your studies and make a life for yourself that you can be proud of. No amount of worrying will change how your parents are going to live their lives. I assure you that this will pass with your mom, I know things aren't perfect for you right now but all seems to have a way of working out in the end.
I am sure that some day your dad will realize what he is missing. I am also sure that once you and your mom get over this disagreement it all will pass over and you will both be the best of friends again. 
The one thing that you can learn from all of this is that your life will be better, when you settle and have children of your own you will be a better parent because of what you have learned along the way. We all learn from others' mistakes and even from our own, that's what life is all about. There will always be disappointments throughout life but we do become a stronger person for going through them.
I pray that things begin to improve for you real soon Krystal and also that your boyfriend can work out his situation and manage to stay there with you :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> [attachment=26745:boq.gif]
> 
> I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.[/B]


Thank you for the flowers! They are beautiful :biggrin: 



> Krystal, I am so sorry there is so much disappointment in your life right now, but try to stay strong and look to your future, do well in your studies and make a life for yourself that you can be proud of. No amount of worrying will change how your parents are going to live their lives. I assure you that this will pass with your mom, I know things aren't perfect for you right now but all seems to have a way of working out in the end.
> I am sure that some day your dad will realize what he is missing. I am also sure that once you and your mom get over this disagreement it all will pass over and you will both be the best of friends again.
> The one thing that you can learn from all of this is that your life will be better, when you settle and have children of your own you will be a better parent because of what you have learned along the way. We all learn from others' mistakes and even from our own, that's what life is all about. There will always be disappointments throughout life but we do become a stronger person for going through them.
> I pray that things begin to improve for you real soon Krystal and also that your boyfriend can work out his situation and manage to stay there with you :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: [/B]


Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it!!


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: , I am sorry you are going through such a hard time . I hope your future becomes brighter . Sarah


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: , I am sorry you are going through such a hard time . I hope your future becomes brighter . Sarah[/B]


Thank you so much Sarah. I really appreciate it.


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## schatzi's mom (May 13, 2007)

Krystal, i'm sorry you have to deal with this, especially at such a difficult time while you're trying to finish school. I'm also in school and I couldn't imagine being able to concentrate properly with all that stress. Just try to keep your head up and know that things eventually will work out. It might not happen immediately but it will, hopefully sooner than later. One thing that I really wish for you is to be able to repair the relationship with your mom. I lost my dad in a horrible way years ago and it made me realize how much my relationship to my mom means to be. Obviously your dad is out of the picture but I really hope your mom realizes soon how much you're hurting and will be there for you. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and pray everything works out.
:grouphug: , Stacy


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## KandiMaltese (Mar 27, 2007)

Krystal, trust me I know what you're going through as far as your mom goes. My mom can be a little immature too and she plays games like this with me all the time! It drives me crazy :smpullhair: She also calls my husband when she wants an answer that I won't give her. It drives me nuts :smilie_tischkante: On a side note, she is your mom, you can't change her, OK so she lied about liking a guy, but so what..that is her personal life and atleast it shouldn't effect you. Just because she's older, doesn't mean she is more mature. I tell myself that 20 times a day!! :smilie_daumenpos: 

As for your father, I say write him a letter and tell him how you feel. No better time than the present. If he doesn't know, he can't fix it. If you tell him and he still doesn't change, then atelast you did your best. :thumbsup: I am sorry you're so stressed out, it sucks to be stressed. I am here for you if you want to talk, you can PM me and I'll give you my messenger ID and we can talk anytime :grouphug: There are always obsticles to overcome, when one goes away, another appears. That's life I'm starting to realize. But it will make you a better, stronger person down the line. 

Feel better sweetie!
Andrea


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

Hey Hon!

I hope you're feeling better today! Kosmo sends licks and wags and I send hugs :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: You deserve to be happy sis!! :smilie_daumenpos: 

Take care!! :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

All of this crap will just make you stronger! I am a stronger person from all the family drama I've had to endure. Yay for Paul's Grandma :chili: What a sweetheart to offer to help him with his school loans. After all-he's a better roommate than a girl-right? :rockon: See-things are already starting to turn around-it has to start somewhere right? :smilie_daumenpos:


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## saltymalty (Sep 14, 2004)

It is so hard to deal with problems that everyone else has while dealing with your own feelings and emotions about those problems. I don't really have any advice to offer, but do know that we are here to listen. :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> All of this crap will just make you stronger! I am a stronger person from all the family drama I've had to endure. Yay for Paul's Grandma :chili: What a sweetheart to offer to help him with his school loans. After all-he's a better roommate than a girl-right? :rockon: See-things are already starting to turn around-it has to start somewhere right? :smilie_daumenpos:[/B]


He is SO much better that a girl roomate!!! He keeps me in check! LOL....Well, actually its more like I keep him in check!! But dont tell him that!....But he does clean the house for me :biggrin: 


> It is so hard to deal with problems that everyone else has while dealing with your own feelings and emotions about those problems. I don't really have any advice to offer, but do know that we are here to listen. :grouphug:[/B]


Thank you. It is very very tough dealing with all my emotions while other people are having problems. It just eats me up inside not talking to my mom....I feel so lost, but at the same time I am SO angry with her!!


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## Gemma (Jan 19, 2006)

seeeeeeee??? one problem already solved :chili: I say next concentrate on the school. give some time to your mom and dad and those things will work themselves out somehow. deal with that issue later. you got all the time in the world. don't even think about it now.  I think today was a little better no? how about your pain? I hope that went away too.


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## totallytotontuffy (May 16, 2007)

*It just eats me up inside not talking to my mom....I feel so lost, but at the same time I am SO angry with her!!*

I have often times found myself extremely hurt or angry at my parents for one reason or another. My Dad didn't approve of someone I was dating and stopped talking to me for awhile. In actuality, he was right and I knew it then as much as I know it now but sometimes whether it's us or our parents, we have to learn things the hard way and in our own way. My Mom withheld telling me that she knew of a terrible indiscretion that occurred with her "then" husband and I. I didn't tell her for fear of hurting her only to later find out that she knew all along and it was very upsetting to both of us. But all of these are water under the bridge now.

Krystal, to me, the worst part is the "lost" feeling, it far surpasses the anger or hurt. I am much older than you are. My parents are at or near the age where I often give thought to a time when they won't be here. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride, be the adult, be the bigger person, whatever you want to call it to get past a bad time. Try to let your anger go. Do what you need to do to make up with your Mom, not for her. For you. :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> *It just eats me up inside not talking to my mom....I feel so lost, but at the same time I am SO angry with her!!*
> 
> I have often times found myself extremely hurt or angry at my parents for one reason or another. My Dad didn't approve of someone I was dating and stopped talking to me for awhile. In actuality, he was right and I knew it then as much as I know it now but sometimes whether it's us or our parents, we have to learn things the hard way and in our own way. My Mom withheld telling me that she knew of a terrible indiscretion that occurred with her "then" husband and I. I didn't tell her for fear of hurting her only to later find out that she knew all along and it was very upsetting to both of us. But all of these are water under the bridge now.
> 
> Krystal, to me, the worst part is the "lost" feeling, it far surpasses the anger or hurt. I am much older than you are. My parents are at or near the age where I often give thought to a time when they won't be here. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride, be the adult, be the bigger person, whatever you want to call it to get past a bad time. Try to let your anger go. Do what you need to do to make up with your Mom, not for her. For you. :grouphug:[/B]


I hope that over time I can get over my anger but as of right now I cannot see myself doing it....


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## Joey's Mom2 (Aug 24, 2004)

Oh wow...I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I know you feel very alone right now. I think it's the fact that all of this is piled on top of each other that is really really upsetting you and I don't blame you for being upset. In a situation like this, it's so easy to say: "Aww, cheer up," or "It'll get better." And while I most likely will say that, I will try to give you some advice on how to deal with everything internally. 

First of all, your dad has no idea the wonderful daughter he is missing out on. If he doesn't make the effort or even realize what he's missing, then don't even think about him. It's his lost. Like I said, it's easier said than done, but just try and cut emotional attachments to him. He was never there, so the only thing you'd let go of is the disappointment and resentment you've held on to all these years. If it means that, it's worth a shot, right?

And about your mom, trust me, I know a thing or two about immature moms. In fact, the one I have is the QUEEN of immature moms. But just as Andrea says, she is your mom. Most likely, they won't change their ways. The only thing you can do is be the better person. 

And about your boyfriend, I'm so sorry you guys are going through that. I also know a few things about being in a financial bind. That sucks the most because for me personally, I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm constantly worrying and thinking about it. I am in no situation to give you guys financial advice, but all I can say is, h.a.n.g-i.n-t.h.e.r.e . I know the stress and worry sucks. But, "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger." 

Can you tell I'm Buddhist? LOL. But it's not a matter of faith. It's right mindfulness. "Change your thoughts and you change your world." OK, I'll stop with the whole meditating-guru quotes. 

Keep your head up, stay strong, and continue to be the good and beautiful person you are.


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## kristiekellogg (Feb 1, 2006)

I'm really sorry that you have to be going through all of this right now. Just remember that there is a sun behind all these clouds. I'm not very close with my father either, and I know how hard it can be not having a solid relationship with your Dad. It's his loss. I hope your mom can get everything in her life straightened out. I'm sure she's going through a lot as well. Just remember God won't give us more than we can handle. You sound like a strong woman. Just remember to take it one day at a time, and soon enough things will slowly get better.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

Yay Krystal! :aktion033: :aktion033: I'm so glad you are focusing on yourself right now. You don't need to make yourself sick over this-then you'd have a whole other thing to worrry about-YOU! :smilie_tischkante: It sounds like you're taking GREAT steps to get over things. I will tell you, about the father thing...I got to the point where I really believe that it's my dad's loss for having nothing to do with me and that he must not be worth getting to know anyway if that's how he is. Some people are just not meant to be dads (in the true meaning of the word). :mellow: 

SO glad you're starting to feel better hon!! :smilie_daumenpos: 

Love,

Gena & Kosmo


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

> Yay Krystal! :aktion033: :aktion033: I'm so glad you are focusing on yourself right now. You don't need to make yourself sick over this-then you'd have a whole other thing to worrry about-YOU! :smilie_tischkante: It sounds like you're taking GREAT steps to get over things. I will tell you, about the father thing...I got to the point where I really believe that it's my dad's loss for having nothing to do with me and that he must not be worth getting to know anyway if that's how he is. Some people are just not meant to be dads (in the true meaning of the word). :mellow:
> 
> SO glad you're starting to feel better hon!! :smilie_daumenpos:
> 
> ...


Thanks sis!! :grouphug:


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## Missy&Maggie (Jun 17, 2007)

I'm glad that things are getting a lil better for you Krystal!!! Family situation are always the most difficult! They say that it is the people you love the most that will also hurt you the most, which is so true! Your b/f grandmother sounds like such a sweetheart! I know that you will get through this! :biggrin:


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=436532
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I did not mean to make it sound "easy" to overlook other issues that are bothering you. I am glad you understand that focusing on yourself is your main goal. Sometimes it helps to put "issues" down on paper and look at them as a "chore list". Marking them off when dealt with and helping you to focus on fewer issues at a time. 

I wish you well. :grouphug: In today's world it's hard enough getting a good start at one's life. Let alone adding negitive things to it from outside. 

God bless, 
Melanie


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

I'm glad to read your update Krystal. I hope things will work themselves out. Stay strong.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

how did I miss this post :new_shocked: Krystal, i am soooooo sorry you have to go through all of this. i will keep you in my prayers.


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## Suz & the Fluffs (Mar 11, 2006)

I'm sorry that I didn't see this thread til now!  
Oh my goodness Krystal I'm sorry you have soooo much crazyness in your life right now.  But at least one of your issues has been resolved for now. I know how it is with the whole father thing. I haven't seen my dad since I was 4 or 5. And I don't even remeber what he looked like. I think he hardest thing for me was that he never responded when I had my mom send him a letter with my graduation picture asking him to come. I was torn that we didn't recieve a respose from him.  Sorry that I'm rambling but anyways I hope things start looking up for you girl! :grouphug:


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

Krystal, I am so dissappointed to hear that such a lovely, kind-hearted person like you is having all these problems. Although, your parents, are your parents, it sounds like they have a bit of growing up to do as well. Just try to love them no matter what, but don't try to change who they are, or why they are the way they are. All you can do is love them. By this, I don't mean you have to be co-dependent to them. Just let them know you love them & that is all you have to do. You are trying to make your way in this world with school & all. If they want to miss out on your life, then that is their big loss. But by you loving them, they will wake up someday, & you will still have the door open. I totally understand your hurt & pain, but hate to think you feel obligated to "fix" the problem. You seem so much like a mediator. You sound alot like my daughter. She was always trying to "fix" her Dad & he was really dragging her down. I finally convinced her that she needed to focus on her own life.

I hope this little bit of advice helps & sorry if I sounded too preachy. I am a parent myself & would hate for my children not to love me, no matter what I did or didn't do.


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## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

Iam so sorry for your sadness.
I agree about hambys comment on not letting your parents dictate your happiness.
(I think we all have similar stories)
You sound like you are on a good road, being responsible, going to school,etc.
Im sure/know in CA everything is sooo expensive.
That does make things hard.
But I have to give your thread a sad smile as I look back on life.
Everything is molding you and it won't get easier Im afraid to say. Yes there will be good times but looking back on 50 yrs I have come to see after lifethreating issues with my child, death of a parent, struggles to stay "happly" married losing my beloved maltese (among other pets) last year and of course money, life IS hard and you must choose what best way you can deal with it. Don't let these thing destroy what you have going for yourself. You have Mia and you! Take care of yourselves and know you are both alive together. Remember living well is the best revenge.
I know my advice is not as good as alot of others here but it is a constant struggle to be happy. Try and look at other things that could be worse. 
Yes family is impt but you are a good person and young so it is very hard I know.
Also needing someone to talk to is a wonderful thing. Just having others listen here gives me hope when I feel so lonely too.
Not much help from me but just want to say I understand and trying to give you another angle to view life from. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)




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