# Separation Anxiety?



## allensu (Jun 12, 2006)

Hi All,

I am new to the forum and new to raising Maltese. We have a twelve week old Maltese named Gandalf who just joined our family last Saturday (so it hasen't been a week).

He is overall a great dog, and rarely makes accidents and will usually go on the paper.

However, one of the most pressing issues is that he has severe separation anxiety. I know this is probably normal for a puppy so new to a new home, but please let me explain the situation.

He is unwilling to be left alone for even a split second. He will usually follow me, or my girlfriend around whereever we go, and if he is unable (in his crate or playpen), he will begin to cry immediately and/or shriek,bark, etc.

I know that puppies are a full time commitment, but it breaks our hearts to even leave him home alone for a minute. When we do so, we put him in his crate, and leave quietly without petting/playing with him. He will notice that we are going and first begin whimpering, and then barking/shrieking/rattling the door of his cage.
We have tried over the past week to leave him alone, but he has made no improvement and will cry no matter what.

Perhaps the most pressing issue is sleeping. He refuses to sleep alone at night in either a playpen or in his crate. We already keep the playpen and the crate in our room right next to our bed.Our breeder lets her dogs and puppies sleep in her bed, so right off the bat we knew this may be a problem. What we did to slowly get him accustomed to sleeping alone is having him sleep in his crate (peacefully) until he woke up in the middle of the night and started crying, then we would let him sleep in our bed. We did this for a few days, and he seemed to be doing better and better in his crate...

But last night we decided to have him sleep in his crate the entire night. We tried to stick our hands and fingers in his crate when he cried to let him know we're there, and that worked for a few nights, but not last nights. Right off the bat as soon as we put him to bed he started shrieking. We thought he might have to go to the bathroom so we took him out, and he went, but once he got back int he crate, he kept on going. We did not want to give in and let him sleep with us because this only trains him to cry when he needs attention. The result was that he cried and shrieked the entire night, and neither him nor we slept more than a couple of hours.

During the day, he will often take naps and I let him nap whereever he wants. I'm frequently on the computer so he usually takes a spot underneath the desk next to my feet. Whenever I move, he wakes up and follows me. 

We are having a trainer come in on Saturday to help us work on the separation anxiety, but I was curious to see if anyone here had any insight on what we can do to help better the situation.

If this is normal puppy behavior, how should we treat him? We don't want him to sleep in our bed as an adult. How long will this behavior continue? I know he's a baby and is anxious about being away from his original home, mother, and siblings, and how terrifying it may be, but he's driving us CRAZY at night!


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

I am not going to be much help...welcome to the world of maltese. Malts are a people person and love their people. They want to be with their people ALL the time. Knowing that your breeder let the puppies sleep with her should have been a red flag to you if that wasn't something you wanted to let happen. And since it's not been a week even, I would give it a little more time. There is a period of adjustment, and personally with my babies it has always lasted a couple of weeks. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to "hear."


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## angelsugar (Apr 22, 2006)

*Howdy!
Well, I am glad you posted. I don't have any expert advice to add but I have the same problem with my little guy. He is 4 months plus a couple weeks and he starts whimpering and crying too when left alone. And he has resorted to banging the door on the cage too. 

We are in the middle of making a decision to add another puppy to the household. It would be another Maltese the same age and sex. 

But if I end up with 2 whimpering, howling LB's I will be heart broken. 

Everytime he starts up, I feel so disheartened. But when we leave the house, I know he can't be crying the whole time! *


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## allensu (Jun 12, 2006)

Thanks for the comments.

What should we do during these weeks of adjustments? Should I let him howl all night?


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

You have to be prepared for some sleepless nights if you are going to stick to your guns about the pup not sleeping with you. As long as you aren't bothering neighbors? Have you tried possibly covering the crate so the pup can't see you?


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## allensu (Jun 12, 2006)

Last night we put the crate on my nightstand, so that he could see us when he was in his crate.

It worked a lot better, he would still cry sometimes, but my girlfriend would reach her fingers for him to see/sniff and it calmed him down.

I think both parties got some sleep!


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## kristapetersohn (Dec 27, 2005)

I'd get another Malt!







Keep him company. That's what I did anyways. And it was the best thing I ever did!!! They have soooo much fun playing together. I read on here that you should definitely have two, and it was right. There's no way the pup can have as much fun with you as he can with a playmate







. 

I'm just teasin' but it does really work. Good luck to you. Maybe you could give the pup a rawhide dingo or something yummy to chew on at night to keep it occupied for a few hours anywho.


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## wagirl98665 (Jan 5, 2006)

> Last night we put the crate on my nightstand, so that he could see us when he was in his crate.
> 
> It worked a lot better, he would still cry sometimes, but my girlfriend would reach her fingers for him to see/sniff and it calmed him down.
> 
> I think both parties got some sleep![/B]



Sounds like maybe you found a solution by putting the crate on the nightstand, but you have to be consistant and get a routine going for him. If the nightstand thing works for you then make sure that's what you do every night and he'll get used to it, quick. These little guys are love muffins and all they want in this world is to be with you. If he's only 12 weeks old I'm sure you must have to get up at least twice during the night to let him out to potty, Right? That's important so that he doesn't go potty in his crate. He'a too young to hold it all night. I have severe seperation anxiety issues with my dogs also. I don't know who has it worse, them or me.







The older one is 15 months and the younger one is 6 months. I hate being away from them, miss them like crazy! Luckly I work from home and can be with them all day. It's been that way from the beginning and even though I half A**ed crate trained them, but can't remember the last time they were in it, they still hate it! As crazy as this sounds I have a schedule worked out that I am home with them all day and if I have to go out, they go with me and if I have to go someplace they can't, I wait until my husband comes home to watch them, then I go do what I need to do. There are times though, (not often) that my husband and I would like to go out to dinner or someplace else that the dogs can't go, but I do make sure that we're never gone more then two hours. I think you mentioned yesterday that your puppy follows you everywhere you go and doesn't want you out of his sight. Well that's a typical Maltese puppy..He loves you and needs to be near you. I guarantee that in a couple of months you'll wonder what you ever did without him in your life. It gets better and better as time goes by. Enjoy!!


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## allensu (Jun 12, 2006)

Thanks for the support all,

We usually let him out at least once during the middle of the night. He will start yelling and banging and not stop when we try and soothe him, this is when we know it's time for potty.

Hopefully this new method will be better.


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## thelittlepet (Apr 18, 2006)

We have a diiferent sort of seperation anxiety. My yorkie has always had since she first came home. I made it worse in the 4 weeks that I had her without our first maltese and took her almost everywhere. She was sick the first week and after she recovered, surprising the vets, I just wanted to be near her even more. She has mellowed with age (11 yrs) some and she knows that we never leave her for long. She was not crate trained, not really good with pottying at all. I don't care so much about anything she has destroyed as long as she is not hurt.

When we decided to add a malt after Ivory passed away, we decided to go for two. I knew that littermates or even the same age maltese would be great company for each other and I knew that the yorkie may or may not play with them much. She loves them but is still pretty much mine. The puppies have such a great time together they don't worry about where we are in the house. They play so much in their playpen when they are in there that when we get home they are exhausted. I have found that a kong teething stick and kong brand puppy paste(Petsmart) get them excited about going into the playpen. I know it takes awhile to establish a routine, whatever it may be. But these two spent the first two nights in their playpen and never cried at all. We always planned on them sleeping in the bed but were afraid they might try to jump off at first and it was to high. One sleeps over each of our heads, the yorkie sleeps between us, her head on her own pillow. 

So I guess the short version of my lengthy spill is that yes two are better than one. Plus is is not just twice the fun but at least 10 times the fun.








Aimee, soulmate Gidget, angel Ivory 

the little squeaks Lily and Bentley
[attachment=8645:attachment]


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

Have you tried playing with your Malt right before bedtime to tire him out? I know that helped in the beginning with Tango. He was so tired, that when we put him in his crate he was out! 

I know may seem overwhelming right now because I was VERY overwhelmed with Tango in the beginning, but it will get better. Your new baby needs time to adjust to you and your girlfriends' schedule. 

Good Luck.


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## hillary&lola (Apr 4, 2006)

i say just let him sleep on the bed with you!







thats what we did with lola, wouldn't have wanted it any other way. i would wake up twice in the middle of the night to let her potty on her pad. that part was not fun but after a couple of months i only had to wake up once to potty her and then around 6 months she could hold it all night







she only had a couple of accidents on the bed which is not bad for all those months....just took the comforter to the cleaners, well worth it to have my baby sleep with me. i know people are all for crate training but malts loooooveee the company and i can't imagine sticking lola in a cage! just something to consider, might make your nights more restful....


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## AmyGil (Jan 6, 2006)

Kita was like at first as well. Though she still dosnt like being alone AT ALL and she sleeps in my bed at night, she dosnt shower with me every day, or cry when I go to the bathroom. Time will really help out your little guy, it took her months to get better and that might be the case with him as well.


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## Dutymum (Jan 3, 2006)

Madeline has always had a problem with seperation anxiety, she is 10 months now and I have had her in a crate at night since we got her and never had a problem with that or when we put her in it when we go out (I even put her downstairs now in the crate as its cooler and she is ok) but if I leave her out when someone else is home she crys all the time I am gone. Even when Im home she follows me from room to room and when we go to someone elses house and they hold her or I leave the room she crys to get to me. Going to the bathroom or having a shower I have to take her with me, She is terrible, I hope this improves with age. 

I have had poodles all my life and they dont seem to be as attached as maltese, I love her to death though
and I must say its kind of nice to have a dog that wants to be with you all the time, but I dont work and my kids are pretty much all grown up so its great company.

I think most dogs when they are really young just want to be with you so hang in there, your pup will adjust in time with lots of love and patiance.


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## mpd (Jun 2, 2005)

We had that problem with our first maltese. I do not know why he is that way. He just cannot be alone. I left a tape recorder on to see if he would quiet down in a few minutes... no way... he was miserable until the tape ran out. He would wimper and had terrible tear stains from crying his eyes out while we were gone.

We ended up getting a second maltese and they really are so close! The second puppy has no problem being on her own. She seems to know we will come back. They get along great and play together which is nice. 

At night they sleep in their wire crates in our bedroom. 

Have you tried leaving the radio on when you can't be with him? 

Good luck!


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## Vicky Wydysh (Jun 30, 2006)

> Hi,
> 
> I just got my new puppy two weeks ago as well, and she is now 12 weeks old. The first night my puppy
> did cry in her crate. This is what I did.
> ...


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## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

this is kinda funny!1
your story is soooooooo like mine!!
the only difference is that I don't have a nightstand. so I keep the crate on my bed!!!








2 nights ago mac ried too much and I didn't want any problems with my neighbors so I let him out. It was 3 in the morning. I usually let him out anyways, he goes potty... then I put him back. But that tiem he was crying and crying. so... it was our test. I let him sleep with me. 

I recognize it was my fault because I remember he did try to wake me up. but I didn't. I remember his little paw on my face, but I turned to the other side!!! =( and he wnet on my bed. #2.









I couldn't be mad at him... u know why? he made sure he did it far away from us. and second because I know he tried to wake me up.
he's always been really good about the potty on my bed. 
and also because I rather wash my whole bed, buy new sheets than have him jump from y bed. he did once... not pretty... it might have really hurt him because he never tried again. 

anyways... but last night we woke up... went potty. regular 3am... and went back to the crate. he started crying and I talk to him, really serious. and put a pillow in front of him. he stopped. when I took the pillow off he was laying down!
he came out again at 5 to pee again... and then staied with me! till 7! no accidents. 

for you guys who let your babies sleep with you since they were pups, u never rolled on them??? I'm scared of that too!!!


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## louis' mom (Jul 7, 2006)

louis did that too - but i read super puppy (book) - it said to put a blanket over the crate so it would be "dark" in there like a den. when he barked, i tapped the crate with a magazine (not hard) but just so he thought the crate was barking at him.

oh, i also give him a treat when he goes to bed when I tell him it is "bedtime". if this is your first dog, i highly recommend this book. you can get it on amazon.


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## Bijousmom (May 29, 2005)

Bijou had a severe case of separation anxiety and he had to be on medication for a long time. He would be startled when I left the room and he still does follow me but the fear factor is gone. I did an internet search on canine separation anxiety and read so much about it. I also wasted money hiring a dog trainer who had the solution on spraying water in his face when I walked out of the room if he made a noise. That was a good thing to ignore. I would contact my Vets office to get a behaviorist before I would use a trainer. From the information that I read is that if your dog truly does have separation anxiety and you get another puppy you will end up with two dogs with separation anxiety. My suggestion would be to fix this one first.


My key to helping this is exercise (fatigue factor), discipline (mental exercise) and last but not least affection. I really like the Dog Whisperer on this because Bijou seems so much happier with this type of life. 

I hope that this helps.


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