# Vent



## MelissaGB (May 3, 2011)

Just a vent. I probably am going to say things that I will regret in the morning but for now I am just frustrated, upset and yes hurt. As some of you may know I began my puppy search in April. I finally had it down to two breeds the Havanese and the Maltese. I have talked to breeders from both breeds, went off of the parent breed club recommended breeders, the AKC recommend breeders and word of mouth. This is what I have gotten so far.

Breeders ~ I understand that you put a lot of time, effort, and money in your dogs and puppies. I understand that you want the very best for your puppies and retired show/breeder dogs. I understand that while having a litter is not to make money the price of a puppy is based on trying to break even on a litter. Paying $2000 for a puppy should go a long way to "show" that I am going to provide for the puppy. I understand that you will not just hand over a puppy/dog to anyone. I understand that I really do. That being said when it becomes easier to be certified as a foster care visitor than it is to be "approved" by a breeder there is something wrong!

Rescues ~ I understand that you see suffering and human's at their very worst at times. I understand that you put a lot of money, time and heartfelt emotions into rescuing those that are cast off to suffer horrible fates. I understand that puppy mills and BYB fill your foster homes and that you have to turn away dogs that you know will have a high chance of being put to sleep at best and the worst ... I try not to think about it. I understand you are protective of the puppies/dogs you have and do not want to see them back in a home where they could be hurt, abused or worse. That being said when it is easier to pass a background check to work in a Alzheimer Unit then it is to get a puppy/dog from a rescue there is something wrong!

Greeders ~ Thank you so much for making the search for a puppy such a freaking nightmare! I have almost been fooled by three different greeders now! Thank you so much for producing mass amounts of, what will probably be, sick puppies/adults. Thank you so much for producing puppies/dogs that will steal my heart and bankrupt me because of their health problems due to your greed! Thank you so much for making what should be a fun and exciting time a complete and utter nightmare. Thank you so much for the heartache, frustration and mind-numbing websites, no really thanks a freakin' lot!!!!

I used being a foster care visitor and working in a Alzheimer Unit as examples because I am qualified/passed background checks to do both! I am not a first time dog owner. I did basic obedience classes at Petsmart and have taught over 300 classes. With different breeds of all ages. I have done extensive research on the breed/s and would not be filling out a puppy questionnaire if I did not think I would/could provide a good home for the breed I am applying for. 

I am sick of hearing this breed really does better if they are not left alone, this breed really needs to be in a home without young children, and this breed loves to play and be active. Then watch the breeder backpedal as I tell them about our family.

I understand that I have a lot of children. The puppy is not for the children, the puppy is for me, the adult in the house. I have arthritis. There are things that I can no longer do, that two years ago, I could. Things that my children and DH, and I all loved doing together. 

Now while they are off hiking I sit at the campsite, alone, because it is to hard on my knee's to go and I refuse to deny the children activities they love doing based on my physical limitations. There are a lot of things that I cannot do anymore because now those things make me hurt. As much as I want to deny it, it gets worse every year and there are more and more things that I cross of my able to do without pain list!

I know that dog training is one activity that I can do. It is an activity that I could do with my children. It is an activity that I really enjoyed doing in the past. I want company and companionship that does not care that today is a day that we snuggle or play in the house because I hurt. 

Right now it feels like my only chance of having a small breed dog is to get one from a greeder just to "prove" that I can take care of a small breed dog and provide it with a wonderful home!

I just finished my last two classes for my AA degree and instead of celebrating by finding my "perfect" puppy I am wading through the greeders, rescues and breeders. I am depressed and sad!


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## aprilb (Jul 9, 2010)

I understand your frustration and I am sorry you are having a difficult time. It takes a good bit of research and homework to find a puppy. If you have several children, and a medical condition that limits your activity, I understand a breeder's reluctance. It looks like you have a lot on your plate right now. A Maltese is a high maintenance breed that requires daily attention, daily brushing and combing, and weekly baths. Since they don't shed, trips to the groomer every 6 weeks or so will be necessary which can be expensive. They are sensitive little dogs, too. In my honest opinion, I think this extra work is something that you don't need right now. For years, I lived in apartments and worked all the time and wanted a dog but did not have one because I was not able to give a dog what it needed to be happy. I'm not saying that you can't do this, I'm just saying that another breed of small dog that is easier to care for may be a better choice for you. Good luck in your search.


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## uniquelovdolce (Mar 10, 2010)

oh melissa hugs ! im confident you will find your puppy.


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

How frustrating for you! Hang in there...


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Your children aren't too young, are they? I'm not sure why that should be a consideration. My kids were 7 and 8 when I got my first maltese and if I had been denied a puppy because my kids were too young, I would have missed out on something really special. 

I think temperament plays a big part of determining whether it will be a good match or not. Hopefully you can find the perfect baby for you! Dont' give up on it and I commend you for waiting until the 'perfect' time and not rushing into something just because you want a puppy. It's very obvious this has been something you've put a lot of work and thought into and not something you are doing on a 'whim'. Good luck on your search!!


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## spookiesmom (Mar 28, 2010)

Well said Melissa. My sentiments exactly.


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## jpupart (Jul 19, 2010)

Melissa, so sorry you have had so many problems finding the perfect puppy. It can be very frustrating- especially talking with some of the breeders as many don't return phone calls. I have both a Havanese and a Maltese. I have found the Havanese a much sturdier dog if you have lots of children, and although you say the dog is for you- it will still be around your children,too. I constantly have to make sure I'm not going to step on Candy, my Maltese-LOL!! 
I know lots of Havanese breeders if you're still thinking you might want a Havanese, but I will say they are all very picky about where they place their puppies. They tend to ask LOTS more questions (and have you fill out lots of paperwork) than any Maltese breeder I spoke with. I don't know where you're located, but if you want any more info-send me a pm. I know of one breeder I love that has a litter right now although I don't know if any are still available. I was going to get a Havanese puppy from her, but she had a long waiting list last year when I was looking and wasn't going to have more puppies until this Spring- so I got Candy (my Maltese) last Fall as I didn't want to wait. Her puppies are super adorable and she has kids come in to play with them to get them used to children,too. I adore my Havanese, Cocotini. She has the most wonderful temperment and is soooo easy going and easy to train. She's sitting on my lap as I write this- her usual spot.


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## MelissaGB (May 3, 2011)

Thanks for all the replies of encouragement and giving your honest thoughts and opinions. I am upset because the breeder that I found and really liked (who approved me for a puppy) I am having some serious doubts about. I will post about that breeder in another thread.

What is so disheartening is that everything that I have read and been told by owners are all things that I can provide but then people backpedal. In all honesty I think that it is because of how many children I have. People think that having that many children makes my life insanely busy. The reality is it does not. In fact I would say my life is less busy than a household with younger children. I am the oldest of 11 children. My life is pretty calm compared to the house I grew up in!

My children as self-sufficient and for the most part require little supervision from me and typically spend most of their time with their friends or out and about. I spend about 2 hours a day grading papers and logging attendance for the children. I spend about 16 hours (well used to) on school a week and graduated with a 3.6 GPA, if my calculations are correct because grades are not back yet on my final two classes. I have the added benefit of having my cousin live with me who is able to help out with the children as well. 

I have 5 children still at home. By the time I am ready to add a puppy my children will be 15-year-old twins, 14-year-old, 13-year-old and a 12-year-old. We have had ferrets for the last three years and they understand the concept of being gentle and not playing rough. Yes ferrets are pretty hardy but they also top out at 2 lbs, except for our "fatty" who is close to 5 lbs. In the time that we have had the ferrets they have never been hurt by any of the children! 

My children are well acquainted with shuffling their feet when walking, checking that there is nothing in/near the door jam before closing doors, and making a room safe because ferrets can fit through holes that you never thought they could fit through!

I am well aware of the costs of a small breed hypo-allergenic dog is to maintain. Not just their coats but also food and treats, vet care and everything else that comes with owning a dog. I have done extensive research. I have only been a member here for a couple of weeks but my research started months ago. We can afford to add either a Havanese or Maltese to our household without it "breaking the bank" for us.

I have limitations and my cousin lives with me and she has limitations as well. The puppy has to be small breed and it has to be hypo-allergenic! That is a pretty short list when it comes to what we can have. I have narrowed that list even more to the Havanese and Maltese. Both require extensive coat care, which I am aware of. They both can have serious health issues, which I am aware of.

I understand that the forum has people who post here all the time who do not do their research and just get "that cute lil' puppy." For me that is not the case. I have done the research and I am not rushing into getting a puppy. I am taking my time and doing everything that I can to make sure it is the perfect fit for our family!

I truly hope that I did not come across as snippy, rude or ungrateful because that was not my intent and I know a lot can be lost when communicating by email/thread/IM's.


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## jpupart (Jul 19, 2010)

Melissa- do you live in Washington state or DC? If you live in DC why don't you drive down to the Havanese Nationals in July. It's in Raleigh, North Carolina and you'd meet lots of great breeders. There is a large group of us from the Havanese Talk forum that will all be there (there are 2 Havanese forums) and we'd love to have you join us!!


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## MelissaGB (May 3, 2011)

jpupart said:


> Melissa- do you live in Washington state or DC? If you live in DC why don't you drive down to the Havanese Nationals in July. It's in Raleigh, North Carolina and you'd meet lots of great breeders. There is a large group of us from the Havanese Talk forum that will all be there (there are 2 Havanese forums) and we'd love to have you join us!!


I live in Washington State. I will check out the forum you suggested. I have joined so many forums over the last 6 months doing my research that it makes my head spin lol

I joined a poodle forum, pug forum, boston terrier forum, the other Havanaese forum and this forum. It would be nice to find a "home" forum and settle in.


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## jpupart (Jul 19, 2010)

MelissaGB said:


> I live in Washington State. I will check out the forum you suggested. I have joined so many forums over the last 6 months doing my research that it makes my head spin lol
> 
> I joined a poodle forum, pug forum, boston terrier forum, the other Havanaese forum and this forum. It would be nice to find a "home" forum and settle in.


Yes- lots of forums!!!!
I do have to say, though, this is my favorite!!!:wub:


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## MelissaGB (May 3, 2011)

I quickly ruled at the pug and boston terrier. The poodle took a bit more time to rule out. I really do believe the best way to "know" what is a good fit is to talk to owners and breeders of that breed. The only way that I know how to do that is forums. 

I like this forum the best out of all of the forums that I have been on, which is why I keep posting here!


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## milodog01 (Feb 17, 2011)

Melissa, I am sorry that you are being treated this way. It must be truly heartbreaking that people sometimes only look at the surface and don't look further when all you want to do is make a good home for a puppy. 

I don't know if you have considered having a puppy from overseas, but I am getting my maltese from Sunnydales Maltese. Shinyoung is a Maltese breeder in Korea. Her puppies are gorgeous and I can't wait to have it in my arms. I won't be getting my puppy until August though when I get back from the US. We currently live in Korea. Look at her web site, I know that she has one puppy girl that is around 6 months old right now. If you work it out with her, I am willing to carry your puppy to San Francisco when I fly there on July 2nd. PM me if you are interested in one of her puppies.


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## Aarianne (Jul 22, 2005)

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time on your puppy search. Breeders can have all kinds of personalities and some will click with you more than others. Try not to take it personally. 

Keep in mind that some have probably had bad experiences with puppy buyers in the past--some recently. Some will be exhausted or not at their best for some other reason when you contact them. Some will seem overprotective--some to an extreme. I think you'll find the odd one won't ask enough questions of you (even with a few show breeders--some seem to have given up on the selection process a bit). There are a lot of breeders in between imo, but many won't have puppies available right now or in the near future, but if you really click with one, it may be worth the wait. :thumbsup:


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

It took me about 8 months to find my Tyler. I went through many breeders, rescues, ignorance on my part about pet shops and BYB's but I knew this pup was going to be a big part of my life so I put up with anything that came along and also second guessed myself a thousand times. If you didn't care as much about trying to get the soundest dog and right breed you wouldn't be going thru it all. But it's so worth it. Good luck and I'm happy you found us here, no matter what breed you go with.


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