# Responding to a FB comment might not be the best thing to do!



## munchkn8835 (May 23, 2010)

A person I know on FB posted a comment about individuals on SSDI who didn't deserve it and just wanted to work the system. Well, it just hit me the wrong way b/c I am on SSDI. Tried to explain how there were some of us on SSDI who didn't "look" disabled...they needed to have the whole story. Wow, what a can of worms did I open up! Anyway, I've ended up looking like the bad person....just wanted to state my feelings. It hurts to be thrown in with those who might not be disabled but are getting SSDI. Oh how I would love to not be on SSDI and working. Anyway, this person happens to be the mom of one of my youngest daughter's good friend. Guess tomorrow I'll get an ear full from my daughter. Went in and removed all my remarks on the post. Lord, why did I even respond?
:smilie_tischkante: Guess I'll never learn to just keep my thoughts between me and the Lord!


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## Patsy Heck (Jun 10, 2011)

Some people do abuse the system but the people it hurts are those who are in need. It's sad. You know your situation and you are someone now in need so don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty. A lot of people are just mean and ignorant. Don't lose any sleep over them.


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## Zoe's Mom88 (Apr 25, 2011)

Patsy said it perfectly. Don't feel bad about your response....how were you suppose to feel. :thumbsup:


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## LoveLucy (Mar 18, 2012)

Facebook arguments are the worst. People are so opinioned about things they often just do not understand.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

oh sweetheart, i know so much about speaking out of turn. Just know that no matter what you say, you have your friends hrere to cover your back. I am here for you, no matter what **** they through, I will stand up to cover you, my dear friend.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

So sorry this happened to you!! And I agree with Gail - FB arguments are the worst. People are surely not afraid to express their opinion, regardless if they are right or not. 

Just don't worry about it. Or find a humorous 'card' that sums up how you feel and post it. That's what I always do


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I'm sorry that person said something hurtful to you. I know you'd give anything to not be on SSDI and be healthy.

That's the bad thing about FB, people post without thinking.... I know there are times I see people parking in the handicapped space that don't look handicapped, I assume maybe a hidden heart condition or kidney disease.....I've seen people use a relatives handicap card to park close. 

My friend's mom used her diceased husband's card for 4 years after he died, until it expired.. It happens.

Al's brother got SSDI but not until he was diagnosed to be terminal with cancer...sad that it took them so long when he really needed it...

I do see people who get it and don't need it, unscrupulous doctors who will do it for a cut. I knew a guy who was an alcoholic who lost two toes on his foot in a bad car accident.He got it because his foot looks like it went through a sausage grinder,but he could hunt **** all night , bowl and show ski...I can't even do that.

My former boss at the jewellery store, got on SSDI because she's a narc addict and gets rebound headaches from the narcs...

I know most people on it who qualify, would rather be working. Most I know would rather be healthy enough, to not be on it,so even though we all know 4 people who don't qualify, we probably know 20 or more that do, so people should just focus on the fact that it's better to have 4 people on it who don't need it, than to not have it at all for the 20 we know who do need it...

Those 4 I know on it that don't qualify aren't exactly living the rich life... my narc addict friend is always broke and lives in low income housing in a so so area.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Patsy Heck said:


> Some people do abuse the system but the people it hurts are those who are in need. It's sad. You know your situation and you are someone now in need so don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty. A lot of people are just mean and ignorant. Don't lose any sleep over them.


Donna ... Patsy is right. 

I have remitting relasping MS ... and, most days I look so healthy. But, I feel so fatigued and ache inside. That is not unusual with a lot of MS patients ... in fact, the MS Society has an article about it. 

For the longest time, I fought parking in the handicap spaces ... because I was afraid people would look at me and think I was abusing the handicap sticker on my car. Now, every evening when Felix takes Snowball for his walk ... I sit in the car in one of the handicap spaces closest to the Target store to wait for them to return from their walk. And, then Snowball and I people watch while Felix purchases items that we need from our Super Target ... that also has a grocery store. One would be amazed to see how many healthy people, who RUN into the store and abuse those spaces ... they do NOT have a handicap sticker. Now THAT makes me angry. I was the one, for a long time who needed to use one of those spaces. If you do not have the handicap sticker ... you are parking there illegally. 

Unfortunately, there are always going to be people who abuse whatever they are NOT entitled to. 

As for FB ... I see people tell the whole world personal stuff that is nobody's business. And, openly badmouth people ... like you experienced. I don't think they see that with time ... that this only reflects badly on them in the end. 

So, Donna, try not to let it get to you. I know it's easier said than done. But, just act like the kind lady that you are ... and, let the other mean spirited people make fools of themselves in front of the whole wide world. I'd shy away from people who conduct online conversations like you experienced. You have your SM family here who truly cares about you.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I have a handicapped parking card and most of the time I don't use it. I got it when I went through chemo and surgeries, needed it again when broke my neck in a car accident and numerous back surgeries and now w/ kidney disease.

To look at me ,I don't look all that sick, just a limp.
Like I said,on most days I park close and leave it to someone in worse shape than me. But there are days when I don't walk well,usually I just don't go anywhere,too painful to drive or Al will take me...

I know a few people who have it for heart problems, you can't see it from looking at them...

My dad had one because he was too lazy to walk, he basically got it because he weighed almost 400 pounds and it made it easier to park at all those "all you can eat buffets"...the doctor was also a family friend...now 10 years later he legitimately needs it because of his Parkinson's..


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I tell people who park in handicapped spaces illegally..they're handicapped...MORALLY handicapped!:HistericalSmiley: No cure for that.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

michellerobison said:


> I tell people who park in handicapped spaces illegally..they're handicapped...MORALLY handicapped!:HistericalSmiley: No cure for that.


If I could get out of the car easy, I would love to say that to a lot of them. :HistericalSmiley:

Really, so many times I have been tempted to take pictures of their cars and report them. It especially angers me when an expensive car like a Jaguar pulls up in a handicapped space (without a handicapped sticker) ... it's like they are sending a message that they think they can do anything they want and own the world ... including breaking the law.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Oh this is such a hot button topic for me. I am so sorry your FB contacts acted so much like jerks ~ they won't understand until they walk a mile in your shoes, so to speak. My Dad had to fight for his SS income. He finally got it and about a year or so later he passed away ~ age 57. My cousin (who has a birth defect with her hands) gets SSDI and she is VERY capable of many types of work settings, but she choosed not to work and has learned to be dependent on the system for the $$$. The point is, people should not be so darn quick to judge what they cannot possibly understand. Every situation is different and should be viewed as such. Hopefully you enlightened a few people on FB of that fact!


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

I agree, people should be thrilled that they are healthy and don't have a disability! Don't feel bad. Donna! Those people haven't been through what you have!


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## LuvMyBoys (Jan 2, 2012)

I haven't been on FB long enough to get into a FB situation, but I'm sure it will happen to me, even though I try desperately to be even and fair. What I have found from reading comments on other forums is that people tend to be snarky, mean and bullying on the internet because they can and it's anonymous. They say things they would never say to your face. It's astonishing to me, but then I am the not the kind of person who would hurt you just because I can. I'm way too sensitive, and I assume that others are too, so I try to treat people that way, but usually always end up getting my feelings hurt no matter what.

Sorry this happened to you Donna, and really sorry it was your daughter's friend's mother, and it's so close to you. You'd think that by the time someone is the age to have a grown daughter she would know that there are many sides to a situation and not all things are one size fits all. Sure there are people that abuse SSDI but there are also legitimate cases where you just don't know the whole story and can't see it on the surface. I find it best to keep your mouth shut and observe if you don't 100% know what's going on. Kind of like asking a woman when her baby is due...I've told my husband unless she tells you she's preggo or you have seen the baby coming out, DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Unless you see the baby coming out!!!!! Hilarious!!!!


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## babycake7 (Jan 30, 2012)

I am sorry - facebook arguments are horrible. I really feel that facebook and Britney Spears are the downfall of America. LOL. Keep your chin up.


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## spookiesmom (Mar 28, 2010)

I don't do FB. I think its dumb. I checked into it several years ago, saw my nephew had posted his oldest kid had fallen, needed stitches on his chin. That's the kind of useless info nobody needs to know. As for the need for SSDI, yes, it is abused. And so hard for the truly needy to get.

On the handicap parking issue. A lot of us have invisable diseases, or issues. You can't see any of mine, except when I'm in a lot of pain and hobble. I use it if I really feel bad, or park as close as I can when I feel so-so. I'm going to start using a walking stick. I guess when I start chemo and feel crummy, I won't be going anywhere anyway.

I want to get a bumper sticker made up that says I have an invisable illness. What's your excuse?


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## munchkn8835 (May 23, 2010)

Barb -- I am so sorry you are going to start chemo again. May I ask what kind of cancer?

My legs are getting weak b/c I'm just not able to exercise them like they were used to! Starting to lose my balance more and more so a cane may be in my future also. Hope there are some cool ones out there!


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

I love Facebook, but I use it for good, not evil. I don't engage in arguments or heated discussions, you can't win. And you can always click that button and unfriend or block at any time!!


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

It's true, fb can certainly get us into trouble from time to time, but I totally empathize with you...I also have a chronic medical condition of the carotid arteries, but "look" perfectly healthy most of the time. That is until I try to walk uphill or against the wind or in the heat, etc. I can't believe the number of times I've been on the receiving end of some persons anger because I can't get across the street fast enough! 

So sorry this happened to you : (


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## mfa (Oct 5, 2009)

michellerobison said:


> I tell people who park in handicapped spaces illegally..they're handicapped...MORALLY handicapped!:HistericalSmiley: No cure for that.


Too funny Michelle! :HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley: 

Donna, dont let it get to you. seems like fb has so many argumentative people, seems like they just cant wait to get a cyber fight going. i find it kinda sad.


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I'm so often amazed at how some people feel they are so 'authorative' on a matter when in fact they don't know all that much! I'm even more amazed at how many others are 'impressed' and take the statements of said person as 'gospel' without even taking a few minutes to do a bit of investigating themselves to verify the facts!! 

I also feel ( actually know) a few people who thrive on causing discourse...it's almost like a form of entertainment for them! Rather pitiful I think but find it frustrating to see all calm and one of these people are not happy with that..they'll find somehow, someway to create 'drama'.. then they're happy. 

I always recall my darling mom's 'famous words'.. "Take it from which it comes" ... it does put things into perspective! LOL


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## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

Do not feel bad for sticking up for what you feel is right. She is the one who should be ashamed of herself for arguing about things she really has no idea about.

I have MAJOR back issues (back surgery would just make it worse and I am allergic to the steroid injections) among other health issues (kidneys and lungs) that prevent me from working anymore and living a normal life. I am always going to the doctors for check ups because of my health issues and have had to be rushed to the emergency room for complications many times a year but you would never know it by looking at me. I am too dang young to have these problems but know what... poor health does not discriminate and unfortunately I have my many health issues to deal with along with my family because I depend on them highly. Yet, I always get dirty looks, the whispering, the snide comments and even confronted whenever I park in the handicap spot as I am allowed to do so or make special requests for accommodations to help ease my symptoms caused by my health issues. 

Like Marie, It took a long time for me to use my right to park in the handicap zone. I fought it for a long time but to my detriment as I would suffer from more pain then normally despite the heavy pain pills I would have to take as they only take the edge off but not all the pain away. Now I don't care and got fed up with trying to be selfless and fearful of the rumor mill, only to see other's and at times the same people who pass judgement abuse the system... breaking the law. I have had people confronting me saying I am using my "grandparents" placard because they have the misconception that I am a teenager when they first look at me, meanwhile I just had my 37th birthday a few weeks ago! I ignore them, smile and continue on my way and allow them to judge, gossip and assume. It is not worth my time, energy or aggravation to argue with stupid. If they call the police... then they would look like a donkey's butt because I have all my documentation in my purse and duplicates in the glove box. The point is, my family, friends and I know the truth and that is all that matters. 

I even have my church come to me for mass and Eucharist because there is no way I can even last a minute on those church pews. Yes, gossip flies about that as well and I have had others pass judgment on me for it. The priest and those who provide me Eucharist know the truth and that is all that matters to me as well. It really is sad that those like us have to deal with the fall out that ignorance and assumptions cause but God does not sleep. See those who abuse the system along with those who have no idea what is going on, passing judgment make it so difficult for people like me, you, Marie and others..... it truly is very sad but they will have their day in front of God. 

About those who speak unfiltered, passing judgment or sticking their nose in things that they shouldn't and have no idea of what is really going on..... my mother has always said.... "I don't see you sleeping under my bed or walking a mile in my shoes...... until then mind your business and keep your assumptions to yourself" and you know what, she is right!!!


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

What is SSDI ? 

And nope, I do not get into the drama. Real life has enough drama for me.


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## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

3Maltmom said:


> What is SSDI ?
> 
> And nope, I do not get into the drama. Real life has enough drama for me.


SSDI is Social Securty Disability Insurance


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## munchkn8835 (May 23, 2010)

There has not been anything else said on FB or by my daughter. Hopefully she handled it with her friend. Thank you all for understanding and letting me vent!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

3Maltmom said:


> What is SSDI ?
> 
> And nope, I do not get into the drama. * Real life has enough drama for me.*


:goodpost::goodpost:


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## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

babycake7 said:


> I am sorry - facebook arguments are horrible. I really feel that facebook and Britney Spears are the downfall of America. LOL. Keep your chin up.


I think Facebook and the Kartrashians are the downfall of America. We think similarly, Hope :HistericalSmiley:



spookiesmom said:


> I don't do FB. I think its dumb. I checked into it several years ago, saw my nephew had posted his oldest kid had fallen, needed stitches on his chin. That's the kind of useless info nobody needs to know.


I so agree! I was on FB for a few months after being pressured majorly by several people. Nope, it wasn't for me. I really didn't need to waste my time reading that a friend was at the frozen yogurt store, or see another friend post new posing pictures of herself every day. I don't have the tolerance for such self-absorption.


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## munchkn8835 (May 23, 2010)

Elisabeth -- you are right. It is my way of keeping up with some people I don't get to see. You better believe, I won't be sucked into anymore debates, etc.!


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

On the handicap parking issue - my hubby is disabled and instead of a hanging tag he has a "disabled veteran" license plate on his vehicle, which in our state is only issued to disabled vets who are eligible for a "hanging tag." Anyway, one time we were coming out of the grocery and an elderly man had flagged down the police and was emphatic that we were parked illegally in the spot. The policeman was trying to convince him it was a handicapped plate. My point, is even if you don't spot a hanging tag - it may be the license plate.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

mfa said:


> Donna, dont let it get to you. seems like fb has so many argumentative people, seems like they just cant wait to get a cyber fight going. i find it kinda sad.


I find it more than sad. I find it childish. My true friends act like grown- ups. And, frankly, if I have someone on my FB friend's list that I find acting with inappropriate behavior ... I will unfriend them. I'd rather have two real friends than have one hundred and fifty friends on my FB friends list ... who are not really friends who care and support one another.

Friends can have a debate or disagree ... without attacking and hurting one another. Just my opinion, of course.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

sophie said:


> On the handicap parking issue - my hubby is disabled and instead of a hanging tag he has a "disabled veteran" license plate on his vehicle, which in our state is only issued to disabled vets who are eligible for a "hanging tag." Anyway, one time we were coming out of the grocery and an elderly man had flagged down the police and was emphatic that we were parked illegally in the spot. The policeman was trying to convince him it was a handicapped plate. My point, is even if you don't spot a hanging tag - it may be the license plate.


Great point. I am aware that some vehicles have the license plates instead of a tag. However, in our area, the DMV is no longer issuing plates ... they will all be tags.


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