# Tell me it will get better than this...



## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

I'm sorry and I don't mean to burden anyone with my stuff, but some times you just have to say what's going on....I'm so tired today, and this stuff is weighing on me heavily.

Here's the scenario, my mother and step dad live in their house alone right now. My mom has dementia but not to the point that she can't dress or take care of herself, but she definitely cannot cook and she has Aphasia and cannot speak except to say "yes" and "no" which she uses both words interchangeably - so they don't mean anything.. :smstarz: 

Ok, my stepdad has conjunctive heart failure and his kidneys aren't doing too good either. He got out of the hospital I'll say two weeks ago. He was supposed to go into a rehab center to gain some strength back, but refused and came home via medical transport.

My daughter moved in with them to help out. Bert is totally helpless and has made her do everything for him....and when I say everything - I mean EVERYTHING! He called on her night and day till she was totally physically and emotionally exhausted. Finally I talked him into going into the rehab center last Wednesday (medical transport again). Ah, what a relief.....calm was restored at their home and Bert was getting the help he needed. .....until Friday. He checked himself out against everyone's wishes (including the doctor). He arranged for transport again and an aid. 

So Saturday morning at 5am I get the call, he fell and can't get up. I go over there and call 911. Then he had to cal 911 again on Sunday morning to get himself up off the floor. And the aid didn't show up on Sunday :smpullhair: 

Finally last night he agreed to let me put him back into the center...and I'm supposed to be meeting with a guy from the home health aid company today at 2 (maybe I'll keep them for my mom). But Bert called me at 1:30am this morning to ask if they were coming at 2 in the morning or 2 in the afternoon and if it was at my house or his.....I am so tired. I guess it's stress. 

Oh, Stan has been sick too, and he's just now trying to find out if it's his gallbladder or what...
then yesterday morning, he took the liner out of the kitchen trash can and hung it over a kitchen chair by the tie and went to take a nap, when he woke up, he took a chicken bone away from Abbey :new_shocked: :smpullhair: ......just a little something else to worry about.

And I need to get everything fixed before I go away next week.

I know it'll get better, and thanks for letting me rant a bit.


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

Wow Pat-I sure hope things get better real soon rayer: That vacation will be just what the dr. ordered!


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## rosietoby (Mar 27, 2008)

Wow, I'm so sorry for you. Tell your stepdad how you feel and tell him no more late calls unless it is an emergency. It sounds like your Mom and Stepdad need to go into assisted living. At least there someone is close by to help them and check on them when they need it and everything won't be on yours and your daughter's shoulders.
Abbey should be fine, I'll cross my fingers. Boy is Stan in trouble!
Good luck, hang in there, be strong.

Robin


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## KandiMaltese (Mar 27, 2007)

Pat, I'm so sorry you are going through such stress :grouphug: It will get better..enjoy your vacation and take pictures :aktion033:


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

Pat I am so sorry for all that you are going through. There is light at the end of this tunnel sweetie. I know there is. Just hang on and I will be thinking of and praying for your whole situation. :grouphug:


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

Pat I am so sorry, you must feel like you are living in a geriatric community. Will your daughter be helping Stan with the dogs while you are away? :grouphug:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

> Will your daughter be helping Stan with the dogs while you are away? :grouphug:[/B]


No, they are like oil and water together right now.....but he's hoping his daughter comes down for the week.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

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I hope it all works out so that you don't have to worry while you are on vacation. Remember you have to return.....no running away. :grouphug:


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

It will get better (there I said it) on Aruba's beautiful beaches (Aruba wasn't it?) with a icey Margarita in hand ...ahhhhhhh close your eyes and imagine it !!

Sorry you are going thru this, like it's been mentioned, perhaps your parents need round the clock supervision, they really turn into little kids all over again.

Hope all gets better .. pssttt did u have your small "procedure" you were talking about ??


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

OH, Pat - 
I'm so sorry. Bert sounds like quite the character - assisted living? an aide 24/7? These are all very stressful things.
Hang in there! :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

I hope things get better for you! :grouphug: :grouphug: Looks like your vacation is well needed. Go destress and enjoy yourself!


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## Nissa Fiona (Nov 4, 2007)

I feel so badly for you. I've been down that road and it's not a fun one but thankfully there are options out there. Hang in there.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

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Darn!! and I was planning on running.....  



> It will get better (there I said it) on Aruba's beautiful beaches (Aruba wasn't it?) with a icey Margarita in hand ...ahhhhhhh close your eyes and imagine it !!
> 
> 
> Hope all gets better .. pssttt did u have your small "procedure" you were talking about ??[/B]


Yep, it's Aruba. and Yes, I did.....ouch....as you get older, it hurts to be beautiful LOL :HistericalSmiley: 



> OH, Pat -
> I'm so sorry. Bert sounds like quite the character - assisted living? an aide 24/7? These are all very stressful things.
> Hang in there! :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


Medical transport is picking him up at 2:30 today :aktion033: what a relief, even if temporary. Later I probably will hire around the clock live in support....but one thing at a time. 



Thank you, everyone for your support -I already feel better.


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## carolicious (Feb 25, 2008)

I am so sorry for all that you're going through right now, I just feel stressed reading about it! I can only imagine how hard it must be for you right now. I'll pray for you and your family and hope everything works itself out soon! :grouphug: :grouphug: and feel free to vent! It's not good to keep it inside, we'll be here to hear you through


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## luvmyfurbaby (Feb 11, 2007)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: SORRY :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Katkoota (Feb 18, 2006)

PAt, I am so sorry to read that you are going through this :grouphug: 

I hope you feel better soon, and wish you a GREAT vacation :smilie_daumenpos:


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## PuttiePie (Nov 22, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: I am sorry to read about all this going on in your life. I would suggest contacting your step dad's primary care physiucian and asking for a full evaluation of your step dad's medical, mental status. Once this has been established, the doctor can request ( or gerentologist) around the clock care and their insurance will cover it ( or a portion of it at least)...I hope and pray all will work out for you and your trip is fantastic!! :grouphug:


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## jadey (Nov 2, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: i hope you take care of everything and have a great time next week on your vacation :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

It will get better! I know how you feel and it's not a nice feeling  
Sometimes things just get to overwhelming, but it will get better, I promise  

Take Care... :grouphug:


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## joyomom (Jan 13, 2008)

Prayers and thougths are with you!!! :grouphug:


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## joyomom (Jan 13, 2008)

Prayers and thougths are with you!!! :grouphug:


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: , I'm so sorry Pat . Sarah


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Sounds very rough, Pat. You know you'll get support from us. I hope things get better, soon.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

> :grouphug: :grouphug: I am sorry to read about all this going on in your life. I would suggest contacting your step dad's primary care physiucian and asking for a full evaluation of your step dad's medical, mental status. Once this has been established, the doctor can request ( or gerentologist) around the clock care and their insurance will cover it ( or a portion of it at least)...I hope and pray all will work out for you and your trip is fantastic!! :grouphug:[/B]



I've already been told any care would not be covered because their income is above the limit. :bysmilie: It's not gonna last that long though, these type of help is very EXPENSIVE!


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

wow Pat :smstarz: I'm so glad your going to get away, :chili: I remember being there with my inlaws :smtease: you feel like your going to go crazy, :wacko1: but in time things will get better, promise. :grouphug:


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through.... :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## phesty (May 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to deal with all of this. I hope it gets better soon! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

OH my gosh, you do have a a "full plate" and that just does not seem fair at all. Ohhh fair and just, what a great way to live. I guess until then we have FRIENDS and family that do care.

I hope that you can find at least a few minutes every day to calm yourself down and relax. 

I certainly will have you in my prayers for help.
Melanie


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

Your plate is full.........you do need that vacation!!!!

Just to let you know we all go through parent problems. When my Dad was alive, he had a stroke and was hospitalized in another town at a larger hospital. I was visiting my Mom and I looked out the window and there was a yellow cab in her driveway. Out stepped my father in his pj's. He had called a cab from the hospital and walked out (no one at the hospital knew he had left) in his pajamas and took a cab 30 miles home. He came to the backdoor and asked me to pay his cab fare because he didn't have any money on him!!!!!! How was that for stress. He went back in the hospital the next day~~~~~

It all seems so funny now but it wasn't at the time. Good luck with trying to rein your stepdad in!!!!!


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

Aw, sending you a big hug :grouphug: I hope things calm down soon and you can enjoy your vacation.


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## Suz & the Fluffs (Mar 11, 2006)

Oh wow. How do you stay sane??? :smpullhair: haha With all this crazyness going on I hope you'll be able to stop worrying and fully enjoy your vacation. :grouphug:


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## Tina (Aug 6, 2006)

Rant away. My Mom lives in our front yard in her RV. Which I am glad that she does. Emergency Medical People get called for lots of things, even going to someone's house to help someone get back in bed. 

Tina


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## Gemma (Jan 19, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

> Your plate is full.........you do need that vacation!!!!
> 
> Just to let you know we all go through parent problems. When my Dad was alive, he had a stroke and was hospitalized in another town at a larger hospital. I was visiting my Mom and I looked out the window and there was a yellow cab in her driveway. Out stepped my father in his pj's. He had called a cab from the hospital and walked out (no one at the hospital knew he had left) in his pajamas and took a cab 30 miles home. He came to the backdoor and asked me to pay his cab fare because he didn't have any money on him!!!!!! How was that for stress. He went back in the hospital the next day~~~~~
> 
> It all seems so funny now but it wasn't at the time. Good luck with trying to rein your stepdad in!!!!![/B]


Oh wow, that sounds like Bert!!!! I don't think we have any cab companies around there though... :smheat: 


> Rant away. My Mom lives in our front yard in her RV. Which I am glad that she does. Emergency Medical People get called for lots of things, even going to someone's house to help someone get back in bed.
> 
> Tina[/B]



Don't I know that - we had the emergency medical people three times over the weekend!!!!!!!! :smstarz: 

I feel alot better today, thanks. Now to the bank to see how this power-of-attorney thing works with the checking account....I've got to pay their bills now too.


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## mysugarbears (Aug 13, 2007)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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