# Divorce



## mwend (Dec 27, 2005)

Well, I know I've discussed with a few people but now I'm ready to let you all know. My husband Phil and I have decided to end our marriage. We've been together for 16 years - married for almost 13. I have two children from my first marriage - a son who will be 19 on 7/17 - he just left yesterday for the Air Force - active duty







. And I have a daughter who will be 18 on 8/8. She will be a senior. Phil and I have no children together. My first marriage ended after 3 years due to immaturity on BOTH sides. I was only 19 when I married him (my son's age), 20 when I had my son and 21 when I had my daughter. Too much disallusionment set in for us. ANYWAY, now here 16 years later, I'm divorcing my second husband. I'll take 5% of the blame because the main reason is his inablity to keep his hands off of other women. Now I can say I don't hate him, and I'm not angry with him. We both know it's time to end it. We are being very friendly and trying to "do the right thing" as far as bills and possesions are concerned. Basically he is taking on all the blame and that's fine, I'll let him. I could have done things differently too - BUT in no way will I take on blame for his infedelity. He's got a lot of problems - LOTS of problems - and for years I made them my problems and tried to help him through them, etc. NOW, it's time for me to take care of ME! I have not done that for 20 years! I'm eating better and taking water aerobics and walking. I'm working on my college degree and just focusing on being HAPPY for a change. I'm not at all upset by the divorce. Yes, it is sad to see something end, but his family still loves me and wants to maintain a relationship with me. My family will need a little time to get over their anger with him, but the mear fact that I am not hurt, mad, upset and that we are making things a friendly divorce should help them work through their anger.

I may sound cold and uncaring - I'm not trying to be at all flippant about my marriage ending. For me it ended 4 years ago when I first found out about the affiars. I was SO hurt and SO angry. I've worked through all of that and there is no bitterness left. I don't love him, I don't hate him, I pity him and I care for him as a friend and that's all. I don't show a lot of emotion - and maybe that is not healthy, but I feel so optimistic about the future! Hey, I'll be poor, BUT for once in my life I'll know that I'm not being cheated on, I don't have to answer to someone I don't respect and I'm in charge of ME!!! God has been with me every single step of the way. We tried for YEARS to have a baby. It just never happened and I knew God had a good reason for telling us no. He knew this is how things would end up and how much more difficult would it be if we had a child together. Yeah God! As much as I love children He always had my best interest at heart - even when it hurt so badly back then! I emotionally detached from Phil a few years ago - which is why now I can divorce him and not make any rash decisions based on emotion. I'm making smart decisions that I know will benefit me in the future!

So there you have it in a nut shell. We are working to get our financial stuff and possessions divided up before we see our lawyers. Our idea is that if we do the work ahead of time it may cut down on legal fees. We have also both agreed to make it a friendly divorce. Hopefully it will stay that way, but I'm prepared if it turns ugly. And just for the record- Chloe is MINE and will remain MINE - there will be no custody battle for her. He doesn't really like her and she is scared to death of him! He may want the cat - and I'm will to give her up. She's really a one person cat and he loves to sit and pet her so it will be a good match.

OK, there it is! Take care!


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## puppymom (Jun 13, 2005)

Good Luck! No matter how prepared you are for it, it is never easy. 16 years is a long time to spend with somone. I was divorced after 17 years under similar circumstance and now 10 years later, LIFE IS great!! Hang it, it will all work out.


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## paris (Apr 8, 2005)

Good luck to you in the future!


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

Good Luck to you.. And after taking time for yourself I hope you find someone who deserves you..


Best Of Luck,
Andrea~


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

I'm glad you are doing good. Sorry about your divorce.

My mom just told me when I was home for the holiday weekend that she is going to ask my dad for a divorce this weekend (he is away on a motorcycle trip and is due back tonight or tomorrow). She is scared $hitless of telling him. She is really not sure how he is going to react. She is planning on packing a weeks worth of clothes and keeping the bag in her car just in case she needs to get out of there quick. I don't think my dad would get violent but I really don't know what he will do.









She has only told my brothers, aunt and me. I kind of known for years it would probably happen someday. They don't do anything together. THey might occasionally go out to eat or go to a movie but not very often. They don't have anything in common anymore. My dad loves to go for rides on his goldwing motorcycle but my mom is scared to. They were in a motorcycle accident a few years ago and almost got thrown from the bike. My mom loves to ski and is a very active person. My dad used to ski but won't anymore. His idea of a perfect day is to get off work at 7AM (he works 3rd shift) and come home and go to bed until 4/5PM. He will then get up eat, maybe do something (doesn't happen very often), and then he will either lay in bed and watch TV or go back to sleep until he leaves for work at 9:45.

My mom decided a year ago to go back to school to get a college degree (she works at a college as an office manager and gets free tuition). My dad doesn't see why she needs to do this and is not supporting her at all.

My brothers are really angry with my mom. My older brother is coming around a little. He says he is mad but he can understand why my mom feels she has to do this. My younger brother just found out last night and is extremely angry with her. He is calling her names and such. He came home during the middle of the night and got out a suitcase for her to pack her stuff and leave.

I just don't know what to do.

Sorry, mwend. I didn't mean to write that much. It just kind of came out.


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

I wish you all the luck in the world with your future, it seems you both have come to an amicable agreement to be friendly about the whole process which is great, not that I think divorce is great but that you have been able to part on good terms and remain friends and I hope it continues that way.
I have been through an ugly marriage and divorce and I know how important it is to plan your new life and direction. 
I too was married at 19 and had two children before my 21st birthday and that was a marriage from heck that lasted 7 years until I escaped, I was beaten and almost killed but I survived with the help of God and the love for my children. I stayed single for 26 years and raised my children alone. I am now very happily married and living a new life here in the US. 
I do hope all goes well for you and that you can now move on and enjoy your new life


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## Bailey Luda (Feb 14, 2006)

Wow... sorry to hear about all the stuff you have been going through but glad to see you are being so strong and mature about it!

Hope everything turns out for the best! Take pride on where you are in life by reflecting on how much you have overcome


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

Mwend,
Thank you for sharing! I am glad that you feel comfortable enough to share this with us. I often feel the SM is my extended family that I do come to for emotional support.
I am glad that you are doing things for you! You need to be happy. You deserve to be happy. I am glad that you have agreed to an amicable divorce. If you can work out all the things, you may be able to even get the divorce w/o a lawyer. You might want to check into that. It would definitely save you some money.

Lexi&Nicki,
I am sorry to hear about your mother's situation. I am sorry that your brother's are having such a hard time. Life is short and it is your mother's responsibility for her own happiness. If she is not happy, and is not getting support, then why should she stay in the situation. It sounds as if they are basically living two seperate lives anyway. I would hope that you might try to talk to your brothers and explain to them that your mother needs to find her happiness. Is that not what we all want for our parents, to be happy? I hope everything works out. I also hope you will provide the best support you can to both of your parents.


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## ddarlingfam (Mar 30, 2006)

well i am sorry to hear that anyone has to go through divorce, but somethings are not acceptable. I am glad to see you are handling it so well and are ready to go on with your new life. I wish you the best of luck

Amber


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## kwaugh (May 8, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, but I am glad to hear that it seems like you have really thought this through and I do hope that the whole process can stay "friendly" and not get ugly. 










Karyn


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## MellieMel (Mar 11, 2006)

I always feel at a loss when the discussions on here turn to serious, life-changing topics. I am young and very aware that I don't have a great deal (heck, who am I kidding, basically ANY) life experience to contribute, but I just wanted to add that Mary, I think you are absolutely doing the right thing, and I'm happy that it seems like you will be able to make yourself happy from now on. 

It always astounds me when people share how different their lives have been, and just how much things change in 2, 5, especially 10 years (or more!). It seems like many of you have lived at least three lives in one! It really gives me a great deal of perspective on just how little the "small stuff" matters. 

Sometimes at my age it's really easy to get caught up in the idea that life's happiness comes from a formula: life in the fast lane-- as much school as one can handle, no taking time off, meeting the right person and settling down immediately... I really appreciate having you guys to talk to because all of you remind me that things change, and that there IS TIME. Things don't have to happen immediately and perfectly and without a moment's rest. Nothing is guaranteed to last for more than the moment, so as long as you are following your heart in that moment and doing what's right for you, there will be nothing to regret.

Phew, that was much more intense than I had planned, but I just wanted you all to know how helpful you are! And Mary, not many people have the courage to be able to change directions like this, so you should be VERY proud of your strength. I wish you joy, joy and more joy!








Melanie


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm sorry the marriage didn't work out.But I'm glad the divorce is going ok for now & I hope things continue to go smoothly.I've witnessed so many bad divorces in my family that the word almost gives me an anxiety attack.Good luck to you & I wish you much happiness in the future.


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## pico's parent (Apr 5, 2004)

Divorce is no fun no matter how "friendly" but you seem to have been preparing and working toward this moment for 4 years and it seems you will be ok. I, too, married at 20 and two children at 23 and we were both waaayy too young and immature. Although at the time I thought I knew EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD! He was clinically depressed but not much was known or disseminated about that 40 years ago so a lot of our problem was his depression.

He acted a lot like Lexi&Nikki's father in that he was listless and uninterested in anything but playing dominoes all night long. 

My daughter is going through her second divorce after separating last year and going through counseling, reuniting for 3 months and finally both of them called it quits. It just breaks my heart that another child, their 3 year old son, will grow up in a split family. Her daughter from her first marriage (another too-young situation) is 15 and I just wonder what her view of marriage and relationships really is. Her dad has had a series of ever-younger (and mostly needy, slightly whacked)







girlfriends but her mother wants stability and tries but fails.

On the bright side, there are lots of good stable marriages on this forum (I'm on #2 also and we are both in it for our lifetime this time), my other daughter is on #2 and that marriage is strong and doing well also. PLUS, at my class reunion 5 years ago, a couple that married in high school because she got pregnant when she was a SR and he was a JR are still together! That's pretty amazing.









I do think too many people just give up on marriage when it gets difficult instead of giving things time and really working them out. I don't think 16 years is giving up too soon, though! And an unfaithful partner is just unbearable.


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## mwend (Dec 27, 2005)

> I'm glad you are doing good. Sorry about your divorce.
> 
> My mom just told me when I was home for the holiday weekend that she is going to ask my dad for a divorce this weekend (he is away on a motorcycle trip and is due back tonight or tomorrow). She is scared $hitless of telling him. She is really not sure how he is going to react. She is planning on packing a weeks worth of clothes and keeping the bag in her car just in case she needs to get out of there quick. I don't think my dad would get violent but I really don't know what he will do.
> 
> ...


Thank you all so much for your kind words of support and encouragement. I watned to tell Krisit that I'm sorry your brothers are having such a hard time with your mother's decision. It's never easy when a divorce happens. No matter what people say - they will pick sides. It stinks that it has to be that way but no body wants to be seen as the bad guy. In my case Phil has admitted to everyone that it is HIS fault and I think everyone is respectful of his decision to accept responsibilty for this breakup. Hopefully your brothers will see in the future that your mother had to make that choice and that everyone is better off for it. I will say a prayer for your family.


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)

I'm so sorry about your marriage. That said, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I think there is someone out there for you that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I say good for you for not settling. Good luck in your future.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

Good luck Mary. It is nice if you can stay friendly. If both are honest I think it's feasable. I have friend, her name is also Mary. They had a friendly divorce years ago. They are still in contact and see each other. They come together when the son visits. He buy's her some stuff she wants and plane tickets. 



On the other hand, my sister divorced her husband after 30 years of mariage, tried to go the friendly way because of the children (even tho they were old enough to be on their own feet) but her husband would not give her the fair share of the house. They ended up putting the house in the name of the children and him having the use of the house until his death. 

And what is it with boys ?? The girl took it very well but the boy was angry with her.


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## Gregswife (Mar 6, 2006)

Mary, I know from all of our conversations, that you did not enter into this divorce lightly. I know the struggles you had regarding your children's futures and I just wanted to tell you publicly that I whole heartedly support you. You are such a strong woman and I have no doubt that you will not only survive this but will also thrive. I have seen the change in you over the past few months. For the first time in your life, you are putting Mary on the list of priorities. May God richly bless you and be with you.


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## jude'n'jools (Apr 6, 2006)

Mary - i wish you all the luck in the world & hope all your new dreams come true









Kristi - i pray that your family has the strengh to see them through this difficult time


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

> Thank you all so much for your kind words of support and encouragement. I watned to tell Krisit that I'm sorry your brothers are having such a hard time with your mother's decision. It's never easy when a divorce happens. No matter what people say - they will pick sides. It stinks that it has to be that way but no body wants to be seen as the bad guy. In my case Phil has admitted to everyone that it is HIS fault and I think everyone is respectful of his decision to accept responsibilty for this breakup. Hopefully your brothers will see in the future that your mother had to make that choice and that everyone is better off for it. I will say a prayer for your family.[/B]


Thanks! 

My brothers are both being a-holes to my mom right now. They are kind of ganging up on her. They have been talking (which is good) and my older brother (who is 29 in Sept) sent my mom a long nasty email to her at work. Then my younger brother (who is 20) left my mom a voice mail on her cellphone saying she should check her email. She got the voicemail right before she went into take her final for her summer literature class. She called me and was crying.

I know its just going to get worse when my dad gets home and she tells him. 

She had been thinking of staying with her current job so that my little brother can continue getting his free education (she works for a college) but if this keeps up I can see her moving closer to me and getting a new job. Hopefully they will come around in a few weeks.


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

It is refreshing to see a couple end their marriage like adults- instead of screaming, temper tantrum throwing name calling 12 yr olds. It's always difficult when a relationship ends, but it really sounds like you are doing what is best for you- I wish you all the best in this next chapter of your life. 

Your outlook reminds me of one of my favorite George Strait songs...

She Let Herself Go

He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye.
Thought she might do some cryin': lose some sleep at night.
But he had no idea, when he hit the road,
That without him in her life, she'd let herself go.

Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.


She poured her heart an' soul into their three-bedroom ranch.
Spent her days raisin' babies, ironin' his pants.
Came home one day from the grocery store and found his note,
And without him there to stop her, she let herself go.

Let herself go on her first blind-date:
Had the time of her life with some friends at the lake.
Let herself go, buy a brand new car,
Drove down to the beach he always said was too far.
Sand sure felt good between her toes:

She let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City:
A week at the Spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no more,
She let herself go.

To Vegas once: Honolulu, New York City.
Came back knocked-out pretty.


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

wow... i'm impressed... you have everything sorted out already in your head... I hope one day I can do the same... Good luck to you and your happy new future!!


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

*hugs you*


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

mwend-Good luck to you in the future.









Lexi/Nikki's Mom-Sorry to hear about your Mom.


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

*Dear Mary,*



*You know how I feel about all this. All I wish to add is, you ARE one amazing woman, God Bless you.*



*xoxo*

*Melanie*


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## LMJ (Feb 16, 2006)

Sounds like you are strong and are doing the right thing for yourself. Good idea to have everything ironed out before hand. Me and my ex did it that way and it saved us a bundle. Good luck with everything and I hope your ex finds his way too.


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## susy (Jun 19, 2006)

Though I don't have any personal experience with this, I do know that divorce is difficult having watched so many friends and family go through the process. I'll keep you (and your son who is going into the air force) in my thoughts and prayers. That being said, it sounds like you have a wonderful son and daughter and a bright future ahead of you. Congrats on deciding to get your degree and warm wishes for the future!!


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## Edwinna (Apr 21, 2006)

I posted earlier today about my similar situation. People find it hard to believe when you aren't grieving. They say how sorry they are but do not understand that it is such a relief that congratuations should be in order. I was so much the same way. I had a friend tell me that everything was over and okay when you felt indifferent about the whole thing. I had felt indifferent for many years. I am glad things are polite and nice between you. I thought they were going to be for me until my kids started being mistreated - and they were 18 and 21 at the time. Their father more or less rejected them because of the neighbor woman's insistence. That continued until she died from a brain aneuryism 3 years later. Since, he has tried to reconcile with them and things are better. I have mixed feelings there but know they need a relationship with him. For a long time my daughter referred to him as the "sperm donor" instead of her father. She kinda says the way she feels (like me).
Enough of that! Hang in there and love life. Each day will get brighter and brighter with the few clouds mixed in but life is so short and precious. Be Happy!


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## mwend (Dec 27, 2005)

> I posted earlier today about my similar situation. People find it hard to believe when you aren't grieving. They say how sorry they are but do not understand that it is such a relief that congratuations should be in order. I was so much the same way. I had a friend tell me that everything was over and okay when you felt indifferent about the whole thing. I had felt indifferent for many years. I am glad things are polite and nice between you. I thought they were going to be for me until my kids started being mistreated - and they were 18 and 21 at the time. Their father more or less rejected them because of the neighbor woman's insistence. That continued until she died from a brain aneuryism 3 years later. Since, he has tried to reconcile with them and things are better. I have mixed feelings there but know they need a relationship with him. For a long time my daughter referred to him as the "sperm donor" instead of her father. She kinda says the way she feels (like me).
> Enough of that! Hang in there and love life. Each day will get brighter and brighter with the few clouds mixed in but life is so short and precious. Be Happy![/B]


Thank you so much for this. You are right people keep telling me "I'm sorry" "let me know if there is anything I can do" and the people at work are worried about me because I'm showing no emotion. I really don't show a lot of emotion in public - but the only emotion I want to show would not be seen as appropriet. I'm ELATED that this is FINALLY going to be over!!! I definelty feel like people should be congratulating me, not telling me they are sorry! It is a HUGE relief that I can stop being Phil's mother, father, care taker, cook, maid, accountant, lawn boy, snow scooper, maintenance man, mechanic and secretary. Now I can just be ME!!!! Thank you for pointing out that not all divorces are a sad affair. I do feel bad that my kids hate him so much right now, but I've had a really, really long time to work through my anger and bitterness - they deserve the same time. I hope it will help them to see that I'm not the least bit hurt, angry or bitter. And even though Phil did really rotten things, I do try to speak of him in a positive light to the kids (well just to my daughter now since my son is gone.) I remind her that he has been a part of her life for 16 years and she should try to remember the really good times that we had and NOT let bitterness eat at her. My son will have the joy of seeing him down at Lackland. Ryan will be there until November and Phil has to go down there for a few months for some training. I hope Ryan can find it in himself to be civil. He doesn't want to do anything disrespectful to mess up his brand new career!!!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Mary, Good luck as you begin your new life! You sound like an amazing woman to me!!

Kristi, I'm sorry to hear about your mom but it's so great that she has you to be by her side during this ordeal.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

Mary.............I know the laws regarding divorce differ from state to state. However, in the state of Florida if BOTH parties agree on things the couple can file their own papers and for a small filing fee the marriage is ended. No blood thirsty attornys involved. You might check on that in your area.


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## Brooks (Jun 27, 2005)

Wow- I admire you so much! I love when people are capable of seeing things the way they are and are able to do what it takes to make them happy.

Best Whishes to you and for your new life!

Brooks


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## mwend (Dec 27, 2005)

> Mary.............I know the laws regarding divorce differ from state to state. However, in the state of Florida if BOTH parties agree on things the couple can file their own papers and for a small filing fee the marriage is ended. No blood thirsty attornys involved. You might check on that in your area.[/B]


I will have to check into that. Maybe we can avoid a LOT of fees! Thanks for the heads up!


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## Tanner's Mom (May 27, 2005)

My heart goes out to anyone going thru a divorce, I've been thru it with lots of my friends. I am one of the lucky ones. I did not get married til I was 40--had to send my folks a copy of the marriage license cuz I knew they would never believe it at this late date! But if I had married in my 20's I know I would not be maried to that fellow today. At 40 I knew the grass wasn't greener, I'd been on the other side and it was just grass. I was ready to settle down, wanted to settle down, and after I reevaluated the guys I'd been dating decided I needed to change my priorities. I did. And when my husband came along, I was able to recognize a truly wonderful person. Couldn't have done that at 20. So all you 20 year olds who think you just gotta get married right now cuz all your friends are, take some advice from someone who's been there, you have a lifetime ahead of you and nothing will influence your life more than the person you marry, so take your time and choose carefully. I wish that everyone could find the happiness and contentment I have. It is truly wonderful.


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## Cary (Jun 11, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=217222
> 
> 
> 
> ...




www.completecase.com

I'm sorry to hear. I used to believe marriage should and could last forever........


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## dr.jaimie (Mar 23, 2004)

to all


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## Laceys mom (Nov 12, 2004)

I'm so sorry to read about your divorce, but I'm sure you are doing the right thing. 

I too had a child when I was 19, I thought my son's father was wonderful and I was so young and naive. He basically left when I was still pregnant with my son. He was busy dating while I was at home trying to deal with a very difficult pregnacy and my family disowning. He was out the door when my son was 2 weeks old. He didn't want to deal with a baby or me. It took me a long time to get financially on my feet. So many deadend jobs. I finally went to college and was able to find a job I could support my son and me on, no child support for me. I was told by him that child support was nothing more than mother's renting their kids out! He is a German citizen so he comes and goes as he wants and he would just leave the county when I was trying to get him into court for child support. I did finally find a wonderful man who loves me and my son. After 20 years this man tracked us down and wants a relationship with my son. As far as I'm concerned my son is MY son, not his. He never once called or sent a letter to find out how he was. My son wants nothing to do with him. I have told my son if he feels he needs to see and know his father that is his decision, just please keep him away from me. My son doesn't want to see him at all and of course as far as my ex is concerned I'm to blame for that. He told me, when I spoke to him a few months ago that I turned him against him. I informed him that when it comes down to it there isn't to much I could tell him about his father since I really didn't know much. I know how that sounds...I had a baby with this man but I really don't know to much about him. I also told him that I was to busy trying to keep a roof over our heads and was just to tried from that and taking care of my son to find the time to turn him against his father.

I'm have a wonderful husband. He loves my son as his own. My son is married and has a 2 year old daughter and money is tight for them. My ex doesn't even know he has a granddaughter but as far as I'm corcerned she is my granddaugher and I don't want to share her. We help as much as we can. Hubby went tonight and got them a $200.00 gift card to Walmart. Last week he bought diapers, diaper wipes and a $50.00 gas card for them. Since my granddaughter has been born we have purchased all of the diapers and such. We help as much as we can because I know first hand how hard it is to be that young with a child. If I can help finacially I figure some of the stress is reduced. Both my son and daughter in law are starting college this fall. We have it worked out between her mother and us we can cover watching our granddaughter. My husband and I are buying all of their textbooks...textbooks are so expensive, and we will make sure they always have gas in their gastanks. I too have gone back to college and my daughter in law will be attending where I go to school so we have worked it out with our classes that if she has a class I will be getting out of mine and I can take the baby. At the very least she will spend a half hour in the daycare at school and I can then go and get her.

But I did go off here...I'm sorry to read to read about your divorce but it sounds like to came to grips with this a while ago. I think that is great. You can make some good decisions instead of fighting over things. I would rather hear that you walked away with as much as you can instead of paying attorney's. But you do need to protective yourself so get the best attorney you can and make sure he understands you don't want this to turn ugly but you do want to be protective, and by that I mean financially. Life is very hard when you don't have the money to pay the utilities or put gas in your car.

Good luck!


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## Cindy1981 (Apr 24, 2006)

Mary,

I'm very proud of you and you have shown how strong you are. I want to tell you about my father. I never knew of all the problems my Dad had with his ex wife until I was an adult, I think he told me more because He wanted me to be careful of what I choose with my life. 

My Dad married young, When He was 21 His first child was born (My half Sister) and at 25 his first Son was born. My dad was in the miliatary at the time and they had their own house, beautiful Cars, etc. However according to my Dad, He wasn't allowd to be a Dad. He had to ask permission of his wife and his Mother in Law to be able to do anything with thte kids. He went overseas and when He came back He found out his wife had been going to night clubs and Dancing nude for other men. A friend of his told him how His wife was always going over to check on their kids that were usually left in their rooms and were not allowed out to even go to the restroom. 

My Dad divorced this woman and said He'd never marry again. Eight years later He met my Mom. My Mom was my Dad's Best friends, Wifes, Best Friend. Three months after meeting my Mom, He married her. A year Later my Brother was born and nineteen months later I followed. My Dad said for the first time He was able to be a husband whoms opinion mattered and whom was a partner. His parents were able to be grandparents and finally see their grandchildren and My Dad could be a Dad to us and didn't have to ask. My Parents got custody of my oldest brother from my Dads previous marriage and they raised the three of us together. My Parents set a very high standard for marriage in my eyes. I rarely saw my parents argue and they are very respectful and supportive of each other. My Dad stood by my Moms side when she lost her uterus and during breast cancer. My Parents just weren't Parents to us but also friends. My Dad could be supportive of me during my sports (He was a cross country Truck Driver and rarely missed one of my Cheerleading Games), He was always there making sure my Brothers and I completed our homework and were doing well in school and so on. My Dad could be a parent when he needed to be but also was someone I could talk to about anything. 

Today My Dad is on Vacation with my Mom In Florida visiting my Moms family. They have been married for 27 and half years. Dad says his first wife was a practice so He remember to appreicate my Mom when she came along. So I guess what I am trying to say is don't give up and don't settle. There is someone out there who will appreicate you and treat you the way you should be treated.


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## charmypoo (Sep 11, 2004)

I admire your strength in leaving your husband. You deserve the best and you are worth it. I hope the divorce goes smoothly and you can head on your new life.

Cindy - What a beautiful story. I am so happy that your dad found love. You have a wonderful family.


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Mary - I'm so glad you're putting yourself out there as a priority. All my best and positive thoughts to you. How exciting -- you're going to college, starting a new life! Way to go


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## CandicePK (Nov 11, 2004)

I'm wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.







Thank you for sharing with us


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## Boobookit (Dec 3, 2005)

Life is a series of lessons and there are no accidents. In this lesson you have learned to finally think about you. If you look back at the last 20 years you have thought about everyone except yourself and now it is your time. I think you are handling this well and when things get tough you have us, your extended family.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try things just can't be fixed and we just have to make sure that we don't blame ourselves for everything. What if's are gone now although IF is a part of life.

I wish for you calmness, strength and remember to laugh sometimes because it is a healer. Good luck to you in your decision and remember we are here for you.

Marie & Pacino


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## dr.jaimie (Mar 23, 2004)

divorce is starting to sound good


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## suzimalteselover (Mar 27, 2006)

(Here goes...this is tough...as I'm a pretty private person, really.)
Mary, I'm happy for you and completely understand your feelings....I divorced my first husband, because
he, too, had affair, after affair, after affair....my love just completely died for him, I left him, and was
sooo happy and NEVER looked back...I feel complete indifference towards him then and now...after
so much betrayal and mental abuse. Guys like that don't change. I wish you all the best life has to
offer....you deserve it..you are a beautiful person!


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Though I have no personal experience with what you are going through, I can completely understand your elation at freeing yourself from the relationship. Why wouldn't you be glad to be rid of a man who constantly cheats on you. I applaud both of you for being civil about the whole thing. I know people who have had better relationships as exes than as a couple. Maybe your husband isn't a horrible guy, he just didn't need to be your husband. Frankly I think it sounds very mature for you to both be agreeable.


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## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

Hi Mary,
Congratulations. I'm so happy for you! Since you and your husband are amicable, a mediator might be benefical to the both of you. Also, it would be less expensive than hiring 2 lawyers. Good luck to you.
Kerry


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## Suz & the Fluffs (Mar 11, 2006)

Good Luck Mary...you are a very nice lady. I hope everything goes alright for you.


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## mwend (Dec 27, 2005)

I just wanted to say thank you to ALL of you again. Your stories, your encouragement and your well wishes mean a LOT to me. You are all just the greatest!!!


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## Brooks (Jun 27, 2005)

> divorce is starting to sound good
> 
> 
> 
> ...



ha! no joke.


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