# Prospective Employer Facebook Friend Request



## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

I have a new job interview tomorrow morning!!! HURRAY! :chili: 

HOWEVER, the lady who will be interviewing me is the Human Resources Manager for this company and she has requested to be my Friend on Facebook!!! 

What should I think of this? Should I accept?

I don't really have any bad pictures (at least to me) or bad words. I'm confused as what to do! :blush: Those of you who have me on FB, could you check my page and let me know if in your opinion it's worthy?

THANKS!


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Was it a benign request, or do you think the interview and it's outcome will be dependent on this? Personally I wouldn't do it. I would say hold off on accepting until you get the job (which I hope you do!).


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

I think it's a totally inappropriate request.

I will admit, though, that we've checked out the FB pages of prospective advisors who will be working with middle and high school age students.


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Madison's Mom said:


> *I think it's a totally inappropriate request.*
> 
> I will admit, though, that we've checked out the FB pages of prospective advisors who will be working with middle and high school age students.


Well said, Glenda.


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## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

Bonnie's Mommie said:


> Was it a benign request, or do you think the interview and it's outcome will be dependent on this? Personally I wouldn't do it. I would say hold off on accepting until you get the job (which I hope you do!).


I wouldn't want my FB page to mislead them in any way. Maybe I should have also mentioned that this job opportunity comes from a company who is friends with the company I used to work for last year! 



Madison's Mom said:


> I think it's a totally inappropriate request.
> 
> I will admit, though, that we've checked out the FB pages of prospective advisors who will be working with middle and high school age students.


I can completely understand checking a FB page for an advisor, I would do it too, especially when they're working with kids. But, I work in marketing. Maybe it is a position that requires a good physical presence, so they want to figure out what I look like?? I have Bibu as my FB profile picture so they have no idea.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I was stunned to see this. I know that companies secretly check out FB, not sure how they get in, but I know they do. But I think it's inappropriate too. I think your page is probably fine unless she quickly glances at the reference to "you're having a baby?" and doesn't read further to see that it's the new puppy.:HistericalSmiley: I just think it's an invasion of privacy at this point since people put personal pix of their kids and family. This is why I never put any off color pix of myself up and urge my DS to do the same. You never know who will look and you don't want them thinking you're a partier or love to drink.

The director of one of the organizations I worked this spring sent me a FB request while I was working on their video -- we had a very good relationship but I did not friend her. Just think there's a time and a place. This is kind of why I used to keep my FB to only a few friends, family and work colleagues. Now I think anyone looking at all my stuff about Tyler and dog references will go crazy dog lady, which I kind of am. :HistericalSmiley:


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## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

Snowbody said:


> I was stunned to see this. I know that companies secretly check out FB, not sure how they get in, but I know they do. But I think it's inappropriate too. I think your page is probably fine unless she quickly glances at the reference to "you're having a baby?" and doesn't read further to see that it's the new puppy.:HistericalSmiley: I just think it's an invasion of privacy at this point since people put personal pix of their kids and family. This is why I never put any off color pix of myself up and urge my DS to do the same. You never know who will look and you don't want them thinking you're a partier or love to drink.
> 
> The director of one of the organizations I worked this spring sent me a FB request while I was working on their video -- we had a very good relationship but I did not friend her. Just think there's a time and a place. This is kind of why I used to keep my FB to only a few friends, family and work colleagues. Now I think anyone looking at all my stuff about Tyler and dog references will go crazy dog lady, which I kind of am. :HistericalSmiley:


You're right about the post "preparing for the arrival of our baby girl" :HistericalSmiley: 
The job would be for a luxury spirits company so if they see some of my "off color" pics, they might think I'll run off with all their booze!!!! :drinkup: Her profile picture is a picture of her, her husband and their son at their son's 3rd birthday so it doesn't seem like her professional FB page but more like her personal one.


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## Johita (Jul 10, 2009)

I find this inappropriate too. Their decision shouldn't be based on what's on your FB. I say hold off on responding to the request too.


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## RudyRoo (Jun 24, 2011)

That is not appropriate at all for her to have friend requested you! And the night before the interview? I am a firm believer that we are adults and therefore allowed to drink, have fun, and be somewhat "unprofessional" if we so choose during our free time as long as we are not being offensive. Facebook was meant to share things with friends and family, not employers! So annoying! 

If that were me, I would just act as if you did not see it until the interview was over. Then if you feel like it might be awkward to ignore it then you could set the privacy setting so that she would not even be able to see your wall, tagged pictures, or any of your albums? 

GOOD LUCK!!! I'll be thinking of you and sending positive energy all the way up to ND!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Oh, and good luck at the interview tomorrow. I'll drink to that. :drinkup::wine::grouphug:


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## Deborah (Jan 8, 2006)

No way! She should not have requested that you do friend. Personally if this lady may be a future boss I would never do it. If she is interested in you she can talk to you in person.

Good luck on getting the job.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Cory, just my personal opinion ... but, no I would not do it. 

I'd have to go back and google recent news reports to give you which channel discussed this recently ... but, if I recall correctly, this is how potential employers are checking out potential employees! 

I have seen FB friends talk about way too personal issues on FB. FB is not the place to openly discuss personal family issues ... nor the place to openly announce to friends on FB, after being fired, how terrible their boss was. I imagine these are the kind of things a potential boss is looking for, don't you think? I don't care how much you want to hear your friends tell you things to help make you feel better ... FB is not the place for certain disclosures.

Also, I don't think a lot of people realize how much personal information they have signed over to FB when you play all the fun games, etc. That is why I don't participate in a lot of the fun things because I am not willing to sign my life away. A few days ago I was reading the CNN current news page online. There to my right was a place to check what my FB friends were doing online. You'd be surprised! Any site you visit is up for grabs to share with your friends. Pictures often come up of my FB friends if I am on the current news sites. AOL and FB work together on this, too. I just find it rather creepy that I can't even read the news without thinking Big Brother might be watching me. 

Cory, I do wish you good luck in getting the job. Maybe you could tell your potentially new boss that you only use FB for close friends and family?


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## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

I gues it is kind of scary what kind of information FB hands out to everyone. Thankfully I've never really posted too much personal information or bashed anyone because I know somebody who knows somebody else is always watching! All my ex bosses are my friends on FB but this has always been AFTER our work contract has been over. We're now great friends!

I just googled my name and an SM post on the Snuggles-a-Thon page showed up! I guess if they really wanted to, they could snoop up on my SM posts and vents too, INCLUDING THIS ONE!!!! This is crazy!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Bibu said:


> I gues it is kind of scary what kind of information FB hands out to everyone. Thankfully I've never really posted too much personal information or bashed anyone because I know somebody who knows somebody else is always watching! All my ex bosses are my friends on FB but this has always been AFTER our work contract has been over. We're now great friends!
> 
> I just googled my name and an SM post on the Snuggles-a-Thon page showed up! I guess if they really wanted to, they could snoop up on my SM posts and vents too, INCLUDING THIS ONE!!!! This is crazy!


How would they get your last name from SM??


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Bibu said:


> I gues it is kind of scary what kind of information FB hands out to everyone. Thankfully I've never really posted too much personal information or bashed anyone because I know somebody who knows somebody else is always watching! All my ex bosses are my friends on FB but this has always been AFTER our work contract has been over. We're now great friends!
> 
> I just googled my name and an SM post on the Snuggles-a-Thon page showed up! I guess if they really wanted to, they could snoop up on my SM posts and vents too, INCLUDING THIS ONE!!!! This is crazy!


Yes, you are right, they can read a lot on here, too. If you are a contributing member on SM then one can join the private forum. But, I've always kept in mind that a non-contributing member can always become as contributing member.


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## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

Snowbody said:


> How would they get your last name from SM??


I posted it on the Snuggles-a-thon page when I asked you to friend me on FB. Oops!  I sent a messgae to "Admin" to see if they can remove my post!


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## almitra (Apr 24, 2009)

Best of luck on your interview in the a.m. tomorrow.  Would-be employers utilize FB and MySpace, etc to check out prospective employees, which is why it's a good idea to never put anything on the internet that you would not mind employers seeing...or anyone else for that matter. Once it's out there, there's no pulling it back, as I remind my kiddos all the time. If you are comfortable with every picture, every comment by you as well as your friends on the site, and all else, then you have nothing to worry about. I think it is an odd request for that lady to ask, but I am guessing it's because your site is set to private? If so, then she can't see enough by casual observation. 
I say, if you feel comfortable friending her, then do so. If not, then do not. We have no way of knowing how or if this will impact your standing, but if it does, then it will be THEIR loss as you are a peach and we can ALL vouch for that here.


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## MaryH (Mar 7, 2006)

Personally, I would not accept a friend request from a prospective employer. Not only do employers go sniffing around Facebook and MySpace but school admissions folks do, too. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I wonder if sending you a Facebook friend request was a "test" for using good judgment in the workplace. If it were me, I'd deny the friend request and if it comes up in the interview I'd just say "I spend very little time on the computer and use Facebook only as a means of keeping in contact with family and close friends who I don't get to see or speak with often."


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## silverhaven (Sep 6, 2009)

I reserve Facebook mainly for family and very close friends only. Maybe tell her that. I agree it is inappropriate, therefore deserves a white fib. Two FB accounts is often a good idea  one that looks professional and caring, the other having fun with girlfriends. :biggrin:


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Cory, I think it is kind of weird, but I am out of the loop. I wouldn't even reply to the request. If she asks you why be prepared to LIE...say you didn't get it...or that you did accept. FB friend request get messed up all the time. But you should be ready to decide if you really want to work for this company before you tell them anything. Keep your options open. Then cancel your FB account. That is just too personal. I think things are getting out of hand. Who needs big brother when we have Facebook?


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

OMG, I just googled myself and not only are there like 10 entries, but they are linked to my previous married name and my maiden name. Phew. Nothing from SM though...we aren't handing out our last names here.


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## Katkoota (Feb 18, 2006)

I think that it is weird that a prospective employer wanna add you in FB:blink:

I do wish you all the best of luck and to get the job that fits you best  



Snowball Pie's Mommi said:


> Yes, you are right, they can read a lot on here, too.


I second this. I've always kept in mind that a complete random lurker can always check in. After all, it's the "www" where every single creature can have the access to. I am bit careful to what I share. It does limit my want/like to share more with my dear online pals for this fact. I personally "try" not to share personal ID details.


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## suzimalteselover (Mar 27, 2006)

I'm hearing this all the time around here now. I was just at a cocktail party/fundraiser and the employers are friends of mine....yep, they are checking people out on fb before hiring and also....watching their current employees. :w00t: This is why I say nothing on facebook and don't share any photos, but, furbaby pics. I'm a very private person, anyways. Good luck, I hope you get the job!

I wanted to add that I'm close friends with Josey's breeder. She also uses Facebook as a tool to guide her in decision making as to whether a person will give her furbaby a good forever home. (People can tell you anything on the phone and on a home visit to the breeder's house.) She looks at pics to see the environment the furbaby would be in and current furbabies and how they are taken care of.....she also wants to see your lifestyle....are you a partier? are you gone from home a lot? do you appear responsible? are you professional acting or swearing and mad at the world all the time? i actually have "friends" on fb like this. lol Is this right or wrong? I will tell you that other breeders are doing this as well.


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## suzimalteselover (Mar 27, 2006)

Here's another situation. Sorry, my time ran out to edit my previous post. 

I know of a breeder that heard everything she wanted to hear as far as being a wonderful puppy parent. Then, when the breeder went to her fb page. She saw that the gal and her boyfriend had a toxic relationship full of fighting and the police being involved. She said she called the police, her bf tried to hit her. A friend commented....again?? So, getting back on topic.....I think employers feel like this particular individual would not be a good fit, because, she would be focused on her personal life instead of work and perhaps, drained from her homelife, as well. Thus, productivity would be down. Is this fair? No, I really don't think it is...but, it is happening.


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

Do NOT do that under any circumstances. It is completely inappropriate. It has been known for some time that companies look at FB as a gauge of some sort. Pictures with alcohol or inappropriate behavior can go against the job candidate. If anything is said about it, I would simply say, "I hardly ever even look at FB" and let it go at that. But I must say, I would have serious doubts about a HRD that would try to friend potential (or current) employees on FB.


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

pammy4501 said:


> Do NOT do that under any circumstances. It is completely inappropriate. It has been known for some time that companies look at FB as a gauge of some sort. Pictures with alcohol or inappropriate behavior can go against the job candidate. If anything is said about it, I would simply say, "I hardly ever even look at FB" and let it go at that. But I must say, I would have serious doubts about a HRD that would try to friend potential (or current) employees on FB.


Pam - I 100% agree. I would just pretend that I haven't even seen the request. But I too would question working for a company whose HRD did this as I feel it's completely inappropriate.

FB, imho, is not someplace to "bare your soul". I am friends with many of my co-workers and even my current boss (who used to be just a co-worker until his promotion earlier this year). Prefer to be light with pics of the fluffs, quick updates on what I have planned for the weekend or something else very frivolous.


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## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

suzimalteselover said:


> I'm hearing this all the time around here now. I was just at a cocktail party/fundraiser and the employers are friends of mine....yep, they are checking people out on fb before hiring and also....watching their current employees. :w00t: This is why I say nothing on facebook and don't share any photos, but, furbaby pics. I'm a very private person, anyways. Good luck, I hope you get the job!
> 
> I wanted to add that I'm close friends with Josey's breeder. She also uses Facebook as a tool to guide her in decision making as to whether a person will give her furbaby a good forever home. (People can tell you anything on the phone and on a home visit to the breeder's house.) She looks at pics to see the environment the furbaby would be in and current furbabies and how they are taken care of.....she also wants to see your lifestyle....are you a partier? are you gone from home a lot? do you appear responsible? are you professional acting or swearing and mad at the world all the time? i actually have "friends" on fb like this. lol Is this right or wrong? I will tell you that other breeders are doing this as well.


I agree. I barely use FB to post anything irrelevant or too personal myself and seldomly do I make posts. 

The breeder who bred our baby girl Kissy asked me for my friendship on FB right away too. I think it worked both ways because she wanted to see who I really was and I also wanted to learn more about her and her fluffs. FB helped us both in making our decisions...welcome to 2011! Now it is nice because she will have a way to keep up to date with how Kissy is doing and her and I can keep in touch quicker. Its insane how what you have on FB can either make you or break you!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I think it's inappropriate too. I think I would look at it this way, you friend people you know well or friends of friends, so consider them like anyone else and get to know them before you friend anyone.
Good luck tomorrow!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

When's the interview?


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## Bibu (Jun 3, 2010)

So, I did the interview this morning and all seemed to go very well! The position is in Miami though so.....that means I would have to head back to Miami...AGAIN! :w00t: My mother would be really happy! :chili:

I have been really thinking about the whole FB thing and thought that it it is a bit inappropriate but then I thought, my FB really represents who I am, the people I love and what I love to do. I don't really have any pictures sleeping on or praying to the porcelain god nor have I ever really posted anything bad about anyone because its just not like me. I figured what the heck! I have nothing to hide and if my FB will not get me hired then maybe thats not the company I want to be a part of. Afterall, it is a liquor company so a photo of me with a glass of wine or a beer in my hand is nothing out of the ordinary for them and it might actually be preferred, (in moderation, of course) because I don't think nuns work for liquor companies! :HistericalSmiley: Maybe I took the wrong decision in friending her (even after I got really good advice from some of the wisest women I know here on SM :thumbsup: and I REALLY thank you for that!!!! :wub but I really want to see if maybe me being open in 2011 could be the next step for me. 
What can be the worst thing that can happen? That I don't get hired? Well, in that case it would only be their loss! :thumbsup: (Wow...I just sounded so conceited!!! :HistericalSmiley
BTW, I also saw her pictures and she really seems to be a genuinely nice person. She has many pictures with her family and her adorable son. She too has pictures with drinks in her hand every once in a while....:thumbsup: I guess we're all normal afterall.


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## suzimalteselover (Mar 27, 2006)

Bibu said:


> I agree. I barely use FB to post anything irrelevant or too personal myself and seldomly do I make posts.
> 
> *The breeder who bred our baby girl Kissy asked me for my friendship on FB right away too. I think it worked both ways because she wanted to see who I really was and I also wanted to learn more about her and her fluffs. FB helped us both in making our decisions.*..welcome to 2011! Now it is nice because she will have a way to keep up to date with how Kissy is doing and her and I can keep in touch quicker. Its insane how what you have on FB can either make you or break you!


Yaaay! That's great! Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with fb. lol 



Bibu said:


> So, I did the interview this morning and all seemed to go very well! The position is in Miami though so.....that means I would have to head back to Miami...AGAIN! :w00t: My mother would be really happy! :chili:
> 
> I have been really thinking about the whole FB thing and thought that it it is a bit inappropriate but then I thought, my FB really represents who I am, the people I love and what I love to do. I don't really have any pictures sleeping on or praying to the porcelain god nor have I ever really posted anything bad about anyone because its just not like me. I figured what the heck! I have nothing to hide and if my FB will not get me hired then maybe thats not the company I want to be a part of. Afterall, it is a liquor company so a photo of me with a glass of wine or a beer in my hand is nothing out of the ordinary for them and it might actually be preferred, (in moderation, of course) because I don't think nuns work for liquor companies! :HistericalSmiley: Maybe I took the wrong decision in friending her (even after I got really good advice from some of the wisest women I know here on SM :thumbsup: and I REALLY thank you for that!!!! :wub but I really want to see if maybe me being open in 2011 could be the next step for me.
> What can be the worst thing that can happen? That I don't get hired? Well, in that case it would only be their loss! :thumbsup: (Wow...I just sounded so conceited!!! :HistericalSmiley
> BTW, I also saw her pictures and she really seems to be a genuinely nice person. She has many pictures with her family and her adorable son. She too has pictures with drinks in her hand every once in a while....:thumbsup: I guess we're all normal afterall.


You know...your decision just may get you hired! I think the company feels they get to know you better and a vibe for what you're all about. Like you said, if you don't get hired, it's their loss!!!! Keep us posted, I have my fingers crossed! 

I have to tell you....almost every insurance company here in town is requesting fb friends during the interviewing process. A close friend of mine owns a recruiting business. She warns all her clients that the prospective employer may ask you to be a fb friend. She's one of the best in the country. She advises people to accept the company's request and get to know the other party! Of course, remove any subject matter that is questionable, first. lol


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