# I need your help



## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

So DH and I were having the very difficult conversation of what would happen to Bella should we be unable to care for her (assumably due to our passing). We had originally considered my Mom or Brother, but do to some recent reflections, we no longer feel that they would be the most suitable home for Bella. I told DH that my prayer would be that Bella would go to a family who loves the breed and understands the joys and challenges of these little ones. To someone who wasn't afraid to add a new fluff to their already loving fluff family. So, that leads me to you all. Is there anyone in our SM who would be willing to be written in our will to "inherit" and love Lady Bella? We are not wealthy people by any stretch of the imagination, but we would leave some funds behind to assist in her care needs. We really feel that Lady Belle needs Godparents. Yall know I have health challenges, but fortunately DH is quite healthy. You just never know what the future holds. It would give us such peace of mind to know that our daughter (yep that's how we think of her) will forever be loved, protected and receive any necessary medical care that the future may hold. I cannot begin to imagine the idea of our loving little girl being tossed aside or barely cared for. Please let me know your thoughts.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

I once started a thread with the same idea, but then I never went any further with it. We should all have God-parents for our kids.

The uncertainty of the future makes it hard to commit. But, it would be good if we could establish perhaps three possibilities. That way it would be easier to say, "If I am able to when the time comes, I will adopt your baby."

I think that even if I became very sick and/or died, Alan would not be able to care for all of our pets himself.

I have just put off doing anything about it. Last New Year's Eve I wouldn't go out for fear of having a car accident and leaving the pets without an arrangement.

We need to come up with a plan.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Sylvia I love that idea. I think a list of 3-5 Godparents would be a very responsible plan. That way we know that or fluffs will be loved and cared for my someone in our SM family ....not left to deal with whatever situation might be handed to them. I get so upset thinking that Bella would ever feel that neglected, lonely or confused.


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

Bridget, does your breeder have clause in her contract that requires you to return Bella to her should you no longer be able to keep her for any reason? I know Bailey's breeder (Josymir) has that requirement. Sadly, she just had to rehome an eight year old Maltese whose mom died tragically of cancer. She was very picky and found a wonderful home for him.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Hi Marj, no I made an unthinkable decision when I purchased Bella. She was purchased from a pet store. (This is one of the main reasons I now advocate against Mills, BYB etc). SHE WILL NEVER cross their threshold again.


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

Summergirl73 said:


> Hi Marj, no I made an unthinkable decision when I purchased Bella. She was purchased from a pet store. (This is one of the main reasons I now advocate against Mills, BYB etc). SHE WILL NEVER cross their threshold again.


If you don't have anyone who could take Bella, how about arranging that she go to the rescue of your choice along with a contribution? Rescues are super picky and you would be sure Bella got a great home. They also require that the dog be returned to them should the new owners not be able to care for her.


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## ladodd (Jan 8, 2012)

This issue is a very real possiblity. My sisters neighbors were both in their 70's and active. But, the woman was diagnosed with Ovarian cancer and passed a yr ago. The man was diagnosed recently and died quickly. His family did not want their beloved Jack Russell, El Nino (aka - Ni ni). My sister still has him, he screams all the time cause he misses his Daddy, but my sister loved her neighbors and can't bear to take him to a rescue. He's very old, but she feels that they would have wanted her to take care of him. The family never ask about the dog....jerks.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

We don't have any one close to take ours so we're leaving them and plenty of funds, to a rescue of our choice since I know a rescue will find them great homes...
Basically whomever takes them will get plenty to afford to kep them in the lifestyle they've become accustomed..lol!
They could all go to Debs, or Pats..they know how to spoil multiple fluffs!

I have five and it would be a burden for someone to figure out who can go where....
Emily and Sasha are bonded
Bitsy and Rylee are bonded.
Amber is bonded to Rylee too, she just loves him...

Amber would have a hard time alone...

But if anyone on SM steps up in that time to help with my fluffers ,if I know the end might come,I know I can feel safe knowing they'd be in good hands...


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Marj, as you know MiMi is from Josy. I am sure that if I selected the person to adopt MiMi Josy would agree. It is all fine to return the dog, but that means at least two transitions. I prefer to choose the person who will take MiMi myself, I would consult Josy.


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## maltese#1fan (Feb 20, 2012)

I think it is a great idea that we come up with a plan for our fluffs. It's funny, we were discussing this very thing with a friend over the weekend. Even though they would want to do it, my parents realistically could not handle a dog anymore. My friend agreed to take Bella, if something should happen, but honestly she's never had a dog. I know she would take care of the basic needs, but I don't know if she really understands what we go through for our babies. That they are more than just an animal to us -- they are part of the family.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

I can see the advantages of utilizing the services of a rescue, it's just that are swamped so much as it is. My prayer is to establish a GodMother network, but we will have to wait and see.


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

Summergirl73 said:


> I can see the advantages of utilizing the services of a rescue, it's just that are swamped so much as it is. My prayer is to establish a GodMother network, but we will have to wait and see.


The nice thing about rescue is that they will find the perfect home for Bella rather than making Bella fit in to someone else's household. I've seen so many people inherit pets when the owner dies and they are miserable. Some are used to being a spoiled only dog and are suddenly thrust into a multi-dog household. Cats who have never been around dogs suddenly find themselves in a home with dogs. The people who take them in are well intentioned, but are just not the right fit in many cases.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

You may want to consider developing a pet trust. Talk to your attorney about the procedures in your state, but it is one of the best way to insure that your little one is cared for after you are gone. - it can also put in a number of checks and balances to make sure that the money goes to the care of your little one.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Summergirl73 said:


> I can see the advantages of utilizing the services of a rescue, it's just that are swamped so much as it is.* My prayer is to establish a GodMother network, *but we will have to wait and see.


I'm with you on that, but again there are so many consideration. Like, sorry, but how long can the godmother be expected to live? 

Or for me, suppose I inherited a god-dog and I only lasted another 6 months. :w00t:


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thanks for all the input everyone. I will definetly look in to setting up a trust for Bella ~ unless she doesn't stop barking in which case it won't be necessary  lol. I'll give the rest a lot more thought too. Thanks yall!


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## Patsy Heck (Jun 10, 2011)

I just talked to my son about this last weekend. I told him the dogs were taken care of in the trust but we had to give a $ amount. We have 3 skin kids and 6 grand skin kids. How much is enough for the girls? It's trying to figure out how long we will live and how long they will live. If you add up yearly grooming, food vet bills etc. Do you multiply that times the average age? This is terrible but my kids have there own dogs and cats so I really don't think they are fit to take mine. This is a worry.


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## spookiesmom (Mar 28, 2010)

Great thread. A few months ago, when I got the cancer dx, I was talking to my SIL, and worried out loud about Spookie. DH can be a ¥%#?! sometimes, I'm not sure he would take good care of her. SIL said they would take her. Fine. Then there are the grands to consider. The 7 yo loves animals, almost 5 could care less. But I do know they would break the bank to take care of her, and that is a comfort. And I hope I never have to put this in motion.


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## dntdelay (May 27, 2011)

I don't think I have to worry about that with Jasmine; however, If something happens to me then my dog will be with my mom. I would be happy to take on another fluff if something happens to anybody.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Personally, I don't want to even consider leaving a grant....I want the person who would take MiMi or Ray (I doubt that Ru will out-live me) to love them. I know I spend a lot of money to care for my babies, but I don't itemize it, I don't care. I would want the person who would take my baby, if such a need came, I would want that person to be capable...not wealthy, just capable. I would hope that finances were not even a consideration.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

I can understand what you are saying Sylvia. DH and I are not wealthy, but we also don't have children ~ Bella is it. When we do leave this earth if she is still here, I do need to know that she is loved and provided for. While obviously I would not choose a GodMother that was in it for the cash (lol), I wouldn't want there to be the possibilty of financial burdern imposed on them either. With Bella, we choose to do her grooming and all of that ourselves, but her new God Mommy may choose otherwise. We have the highest plan of PetPlan Insurance and I would want that continued and there would also need to be resources for any medical treatments. All of those things require funds and they are funds that we would have available to leave her. Otherwise my brother gets everything and heck he barely talks to me unless he needs a babysitter :blink:! I'd rather we leave this earth knowing that our money went to Bella's care, to The American Heart Association and to the rescues of our choice. Oh and of course to bury us lol  . So much to consider. I will be researching trusts to figure amounts and how to go about all that. It's all about peace of mind and knowing that Bella would not be tossed about from household to household like she is tupperware. There would be another God Mother ready to adopt her in the event that she needed a new home. She's our baby and I am blessed to know that just this a.m. I awoke to 3 messages of loving SM family who have offered to love and protect her as her God Parents. What a gift of kindness and compassion. :wub:


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Great thread!
Not knowing what might happen to my two keeps me alive! 
I know my DH loves them & am realistic enough to know he would not have a clue as to how to care for them!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Hi Sandi, for some reason it really had been bothering me lately. I learned a lot from this thread and all the different opinions and ideas expressed. So much to consider! Bella is our sweet girl and her safety and happiness are so important. I think (as sad as it is to consider), we must all make our plans according to the unexpected.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

I do have two adult daughters but neither of them are at stages in their lives where I would want mine to go to either of them. The problem is DH---he thinks he would "just take them to the groomer more often!" Sure. That would NOT be enough. He does love both of them, but doesn't have a clue about the daily care. Why do men refuse to think about the most difficult topics!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Great question! My DH completely adores Bella. He's actually wonderful with her and if I go before him, I'd have no worries. Very blessed about that. Getting DH to consider the fact that he and I might both be gone is another matter. It is one of things I just have to bulldoze my way through and not back down until he's on board. Men!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Patsy Heck said:


> I just talked to my son about this last weekend. I told him the dogs were taken care of in the trust but we had to give a $ amount. We have 3 skin kids and 6 grand skin kids. How much is enough for the girls? It's trying to figure out how long we will live and how long they will live. If you add up yearly grooming, food vet bills etc. Do you multiply that times the average age? This is terrible but my kids have there own dogs and cats so I really don't think they are fit to take mine. This is a worry.


''

It really is hard to figure out an amount isn't it? I figure I will over estimate and then I'll have a bit more peace of mind. I get what you are saying about your kids not being the best option. I feel the same way about my family. There is just something missing that feels wrong about them raising Bella. Even though Mom has had 2 malts, she's not made the 1st effort to visit us in over a year. Sorry, but that isn't sitting well with me. Personally or in regards to how she'd love Bella. Sigh.


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## MaxisMommie (Jul 30, 2012)

*This is very weird that I came across this thread because my mom told me yesterday how she is taking in a greyhound from an elderly woman who is on her way to the angels. She is critically ill and she has had the dog for a long time. The dog is 10 years old with diabetes so her family does not want to take care of her. So crazy enough my mom found out about her and arranged for her to have two different rides transport her from Ohio to Illinois. Sometimes, it jsut works out and it is great that she will have a wonderful forever home with someone that knows greyhounds. However, with this said I think it is a great idea that you guys are thinking about this because I would want to have peace of mind myself. If I were to die today I know my mom would take Maxi in, but after she is gone I would have no clue... It is very scary to think about.*


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thank God the greyhound and your Mom found each other. They are very fortunate. I used to always have my Dad to depend on for caring for our pups, but since he passed, I have found it very hard to find another person in our family that I would truly trust. I think it's "responsible parenting" to consider all of our options and make necessary arrangements ahead of time. Not fun, but important. Lifting up a prayer for the elderly lady and for an easy transition for her dog and your Mom.


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## LoveLucy (Mar 18, 2012)

You know, I think what get's us thinking about this is when we see all these senior dogs in shelters, and so many of them say that their previous owners passed away or became too ill to take care of them. Sometimes is also says "no family members wanted him/her." This always makes me so mad. I have 3 kids, and 3 grandkids (grandkids are all still small). I've told my daughter that if Lucy (or any future dog of mine) ends up in a shelter after I die, I WILL come back and wring her neck--I'll crossover somehow, someway.:w00t: I do trust my daughter to give Lucy the proper care, and she and her daughter love her, so I rest fairly easy. But it really is an important consideration.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Summergirl73 said:


> Great question! My DH completely adores Bella. He's actually wonderful with her and if I go before him, I'd have no worries. Very blessed about that. Getting DH to consider the fact that he and I might both be gone is another matter. It is one of things I just have to bulldoze my way through and not back down until he's on board. Men!


My DH adores our two as well, without any restraint---*but he doesn't really know all the work involved in caring for them* & if they got sick he would realize it after they were really sick! He does brush teeth & clip nails and appreciates that I do the rest. I just think in my heart he would not have a clue what to do otherwise. He would surely overfeed them too! My problem is, if he is the remaining partner, he would not willingly give them up---so I have got to out-live him!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

edelweiss said:


> so I have got to out-live him!


:HistericalSmiley:LOL! Good luck Sandi!


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Patsy Heck said:


> I just talked to my son about this last weekend. I told him the dogs were taken care of in the trust but we had to give a $ amount. We have 3 skin kids and 6 grand skin kids. How much is enough for the girls? It's trying to figure out how long we will live and how long they will live. If you add up yearly grooming, food vet bills etc. Do you multiply that times the average age? This is terrible but my kids have there own dogs and cats so I really don't think they are fit to take mine. This is a worry.


Your trust will expire a specified number of years after your death (usually 21 years) and any remaining money will be divided among your estate. The problem is that most dogs will be more expensive to care for as they age - this makes it more difficult to calculate.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Walter, is there a method to determining how much we should allocate for a trust for our fluffs?


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## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

This is such a good topic! At this point I know my family would take Zooey, but I still wonder what I'd do with Mackenzie. No one else is a parrot person in my family. Thankfully, I think she'd adjust well to any loving new home.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

I'm glad the thread got us all thinking and brainstorming. There is SO much to learn! Elizabeth, I wonder if there is rescue that specializes in rehoming parrots? Also, I have to tell you that a "friend/former employer" recently told me that her parrot passed away. Their beautiful dog has apparently been suffering with serious anxiety since the loss of it's sibling, and is being medicated as a result. Anyway, one day while my friend was at work, the dog ate the parrot! She came home to find....the feet  . I'd never heard of such a thing and was totally freaked out by it. Incredibly sad. The dog and parrot had always gotten along very well. Still haven't figured out why the bird had access outside of the cage, I guess it never crossed their minds that it would be a problem since they'd always been so close. Ugggh.


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

Oh gosh, now you've got me thinking about this. I just asked my husband if I were to die if he'd want to keep Steve or find him a new home and he goes, "if you die I'd just put Steve in the casket with you because that's where he'd really want to be". So there you go. Problem solved.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Oh stars Celeta...with DH's thinking, you do need a plan! lol


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## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

Oh, Bridget, that is just awful  I let Mackie out on her playgym with Zooey underfoot, and I hold Mack while Zooey's sitting next to me on the couch, but I would never trust them together unsupervised because you just never know what can happen.


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## SammieMom (Nov 13, 2010)

Ya know Bridget, family and people I meet just LOVE a Maltese!!!! But I don't expect they realize how much care is involved or the right things to or not to do. I have spent a lot of time learning, and it would be impossible for the person to know all of it.  I am sure they would survive, but I recommend* keeping a journal* for your pets. I have done this for 2 yrs now, and as I update it I email it to the family member that would be in charge of the situation. So they have DIRECTIONS for my Maltese, esp the dangers, and vet care, food, grooming daily, meds, shots - you name it. I also added links from SM to refer to. (they don't have to remember it all now, just save it, but I have had them ask ?'s about things and I appreciate that)
My person is super loving and easy going, so hopefully if anything happens they will not be overwhelmed by 2 Maltese. As you know, it's totally different story owning a dog versus visiting or playing with them. And having someone who loves them _is_ important, but realistically not everyone has someone willing to take on one, more-less 2 dogs in that manner. In that case I would use rescue services. I like the idea of having 2 people if possible. I think it's important to investigate the rescue services as back up, as people and situations change over the years. 
Hugs

p.s.
I wonder if the medications affected the dogs actions. that is beyond sad.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thanks SO much for the idea of journal tracking and record keeping...that's perfect! I will set up an online record with Vet information, pet insurance info. etc too. We have been SOOOO blessed to now have 2 Godparents established for Bella (just waiting on their ok to finally announce them on SM :aktion033:.) I will likely use SCMR as the back up rescue organization in the event of an emergency. I'm also researching setting up a trust for Belle. I'm going to talk with my BFF and my in-laws to make sure they are aware of the details as well. They can help to coordinate an easy transition for everyone. 

Any other things we should all be doing to make appropriate long term plans?


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Bridget -- I have all of my girls records in a 3 ring binder that has all of the receipts and treatment info from their Vets.

There is a program that I have on my iphone that I'm transferring this info to. Sue (snowbody) from the program about 7-8 months ago and I will look at the name of it.

The one thing that is also important to supply to the Godparent is the Microchip #.

Also keep the Godparent up-to-date on food that being fed and any new health issues.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thanks so much for the great info Lynn....or should I say... God Mommy?:flowers: (_Bella is blessed with another God Mother too, just waiting a bit longer to share that info with everyone _ We have not yet had Bella Microchipped, so that is something I will look in to. I think I better give DH a week off...he's on Bella trust overload :HistericalSmiley:. I'll start working on a binder on a computer disk. I'll keep the disk in our safe so that it will be easily located in the event of an emergency. X0XO


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Summergirl73 said:


> Walter, is there a method to determining how much we should allocate for a trust for our fluffs?


It was easy for me, because I have no children, so I put a lot of money into Lucky's trust, and specified that his insurance be paid for each year, designated both a first and second trustee and caregiver, how he will be transported, how end of life decisions will be made, checkups each year, etc. The major advantage of a pet trust is that it goes into effect when you are no longer able to care for your pet, not necessarily when you die. Your will will go through probate and your money may be held up.

Take a look at:

ASPCA | Pet Trust Primer


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

I had gotten a will maker computer program a few years ago, when I started to use it, the first page was all about the pets! Then I took several stressed filled months to talk with friends and relatives about this. I planned to give $2000 per dog for their care. But I never did complete that task!!!!! Sure hope I don't die soon!


Sent from my iPad using PG Free


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

wkomorow said:


> It was easy for me, because I have no children, so I put a lot of money into Lucky's trust, and specified that his insurance be paid for each year, designated both a first and second trustee and caregiver, how he will be transported, how end of life decisions will be made, checkups each year, etc. The major advantage of a pet trust is that it goes into effect when you are no longer able to care for your pet, not necessarily when you die. Your will will go through probate and your money may be held up.
> 
> Take a look at:
> 
> ASPCA | Pet Trust Primer


Walter this is very similiar to what we are working on. Like you, we have no children....Bella is it. Legal Zoom has a document that seems to be working out well, so I think we will likely use that one. The distribution will be mentioned in the Will also (just as a precaution), but it will more closely be connected to our life policies and those stipulations (for quicker dispursement).


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

The A Team said:


> I had gotten a will maker computer program a few years ago, when I started to use it, the first page was all about the pets! Then I took several stressed filled months to talk with friends and relatives about this. I planned to give $2000 per dog for their care. But I never did complete that task!!!!! Sure hope I don't die soon!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Hop to it Momma! Oh, and I'll have to look...I think I had some Will Maker software around here too  .


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## Rocky's Mom (Apr 10, 2010)

StevieB said:


> Oh gosh, now you've got me thinking about this. I just asked my husband if I were to die if he'd want to keep Steve or find him a new home and he goes, "if you die I'd just put Steve in the casket with you because that's where he'd really want to be". So there you go. Problem solved.


Oh celesta that was funny. Something i think my husband may jokingly say.And "so there you go" reminds 
Me of the movie my big fat geek wedding. LOL:HistericalSmiley:


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## Rocky's Mom (Apr 10, 2010)

This is an excellent thread. I never thought about the Rockstar outliving both of us. if I died first, my husband has no clue how to bathe him, clean his face and take out mats, or clip him. So...I think I am going to give hubby emergency training. He said he would just take him to the groomer,but he would have to do that at least once a week and do daily face washing and brushing. I don't know where he would go if we both died. My daughter is not a person that wants pets. My son has his hands full with his crazy dog. This is something to think about. I would also feel better having a friend from SM adopt him. I too would leave a trust fund for him.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

It is very smart to tie it to your insurance disbursement. What ever you do spell out everything, then allocate money based on that. I specified Lucky be taken to a groomer every 6 weeks and allocated $60 to each visit. Also make sure contingency plans in case the caregiver is unable to care for your little one or your little one outlives the caregiver. I know it sounds ridiculous but I even specified Lucky was to get 5 fluffy toys and 3 packages of special treat each Christmas and each birthday (boy does he destroy his fluffy toys), that he is never to be put on a leash with collar - only a harness. I allocated money for each.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Rocky's Mom said:


> This is an excellent thread. I never thought about the Rockstar outliving both of us. if I died first, my husband has no clue how to bathe him, clean his face and take out mats, or clip him. So...I think I am going to give hubby emergency training. He said he would just take him to the groomer,but he would have to do that at least once a week and do daily face washing and brushing. I don't know where he would go if we both died. My daughter is not a person that wants pets. My son has his hands full with his crazy dog. This is something to think about. I would also feel better having a friend from SM adopt him. I too would leave a trust fund for him.


 
I'm glad it has us all talking...it's not fun to think about, but it is essential. On SM we all love our babies and want only the best for them. Lot of paperwork to do and of course...prayers  .


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thank you Walter. It sounds like our planning minds are very much the same. We came up with our figure for our trust by considering:
Grooming
Pet Plan Insurance 
Unexpected Medical Expenses
Transportation Costs
Toys
Burial/End of Life
Food
Miscellaneous


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