# Ignoring us?



## bentley's Mum (Dec 27, 2007)

Hi Everyone!

I have a question and I not sure how to fix it or why it occurs. So please go easy on me- not even sure I am wording it correctly...

When we have company Mr. Bentley runs over to greet our guests (and it is so sweet) the not so sweet part is that all of his attention goes to our guests and he ignores the rest of the family and does not even pay attention, listen or sit with us. He has always done this and don't get me wrong it is sweet that he loves our guests as much as we do, but I am troubled by this behavior and I really do not think it is "right" in behavior. Also when we have over night guests he will not sleep with us... 


I have to admitt, my feelings are a bit rejected by my furbaby and I know I should not really feel that way... but I have been around dogs all my life and normally they go and visit the guest say hello and for the most part go back to the owner and sit/lay down next to them. 

Any ideas on why Bentley is doing this? Do I spoil too much? Do I allow him to dominate me? I ask because he is starting a bit of a growl when I move him off of someone's lap... any advice is welcome, I do watch the dog whisperer with cesar, and have not seen him address this issue. so again any advice is welcome or if you have a simular story feel free to share... I would hate to think i am the only Mommy going through this.

Thanks again everyone!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I certainly am no expert by a long shot but it seems to me like Mr. Bentley is really well socialized. To feel at ease to be with guests in my book (which is a small unknowledgeable book) is so much better than the fluffs who bark their heads off at people and slink away to hide behind mom. I have a skin kid and I used to delight on how he wasn't clingy and would easily play with guests, to their delight, and talk with them when he was older. He's now grown up to be a very self assured, very sociable young man. Now maybe that doesn't translate to dogs but it just seems that he isn't super protective or guarding and enjoys the attention. My guests love it when they visit and Tyler will come to them and sit on them and give them lots of love and I love it.It just happened today But let the real dog experts weigh in. JMO


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

First turn off Cesar. His methods are outdated and scientifically proven incorrect. Many of them are just plain dangerous. Yes he needs to listen no matter what. One easy and fun thing is to have a very high value reward for listening with distractions. The more you practice the better he will get. Teach him to get up on a lap and off on cue. Then he can be rewarded for what you want. Think of company as a high level of distraction. Obedience class if a good place to practice with distractions.


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## totallytotontuffy (May 16, 2007)

I think it is the novelty of having new people to sniff and interact with that might make it appear that Bentley is ignoring your family. But I do understand your feeling rejected especially when he trots out of your bedroom to go sleep with the guests. 

Both Toto and Tuffy did that to me recently when my Mom stayed at my house, but after a couple of nights, they came back to sleep with me. I'm not sure if it was because having someone else sleep over was new and fun for them, or if it was because initially my Mom wasn't feeling well and they were worried about her. Whichever the case, I wanted to say "hey! where are you guys going? They completely abandoned me! Secretly I was quite happy when they came back to me :aktion033:, but then it made my Mom feel bad. :crying:
I dont' think the growling thing is good and should be addressed in some way but I think you should be happy that he isn't timid when guests visit and know that he always loves you no matter what.


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## bentley's Mum (Dec 27, 2007)

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and feedback. Everyone here is always so kind and I really appreciate it!

JMM- I am very interested in hearing your input about your thoughts on Cesar so feel free to share or send me a message. - Thanks!!


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

There have been thread on Cesar in the past. 

For me, the bottom line is - he gets bit on a regular basis and causes the dogs on his show great deals of stress. All behaviorists consulted by Nat Geo, including Purdue university, said absolutely NO to airing the show. The show also says do not try this at home - that's so you don't get bitten by your dog. 

Here's a nice link
Dog Whisperer, Dog Psychology and Cesar Millan


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## wooflife (Aug 8, 2007)

I think it sounds like you have a well socialized dog too. 

The last time I visited Crystal pre-Callie I was fluffless. Zoe and Jett took turns sleeping with me. It was the sweetest thing ever that they had enough confidence and felt secure enough to share their love. 

My Izzy does growl when you move her sometimes. It's usually either because she's claimed someones lap or she just doesn't want to move, she's not really good at sharing. She never bites though it's just a little protest.


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## tamizami (May 1, 2007)

i'm jealous, i want your "problem"!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

All I know is what Jodi does, he is very social. He's excited and barks (almost always) when someone comes thru the door and is eager to greet everyone. He's happy with guests and doesn't keep close to me. He doesn't sleep in their room thou. No one has ever wanted him but I'm sure he wouldn't stay with them anyhow.


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## silverhaven (Sep 6, 2009)

Lola loves company too. Goes bananas to see visitors, sticks her nose in their smelly shoes and tries to rub herself all over their feet. So funny.... but I am certain that if she felt at all uncomfortable she would come to me, just like I am sure your Mr. Bentley would run to you.


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## iheartbisou (Feb 13, 2007)

tamizami said:


> i'm jealous, i want your "problem"!


Me too!!


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## CloudClan (Jan 31, 2007)

Bentley's Mum said:


> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I have a question and I not sure how to fix it or why it occurs. So please go easy on me- not even sure I am wording it correctly...
> 
> ...


Oh my, yes I wish Cadeau could be more like this with guests. He is alternatively intrigued and nervous. So he barks at them for their attention, but backs away when they try to give it to him. So dang obnoxious. 

My Cloud was a much more comfortable guy, with a similar temperament to your baby. Every guest that came through the door he expected they came to see him and he figured he had to share his time with them since they came to visit him. I think that is exactly what your little guy is doing. He thinks he is special and of course he is. B)

If your guests are loving on him he is being reassured that it is true. 

I got Cloud when I was a college student. I used to have a lot of my college friends come to stay. He got a lot of that kind of attention and was in his element. My only problem with that behavior was the rare guest that was not a dog person. It was hard for Cloud to understand why they didn't pay attention to him or want him on their laps. 

I wouldn't feel rejected. And the growling when you go to get him is his way of saying, not now mom I am being adored. If you want him to come to you and away from the guests I would reward him for doing so. Jackie describes this well below. But otherwise I would let him get his adoration. Sounds like he deserves it.  



jmm said:


> First turn off Cesar. His methods are outdated and scientifically proven incorrect. Many of them are just plain dangerous. Yes he needs to listen no matter what. One easy and fun thing is to have a very high value reward for listening with distractions. The more you practice the better he will get. Teach him to get up on a lap and off on cue. Then he can be rewarded for what you want. Think of company as a high level of distraction. Obedience class if a good place to practice with distractions.


Try watching Victoria Stillwell-It's Me or the Dog on Animal Planet. She is awesome. A much better alternative.


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## Kutsmail1 (Dec 26, 2007)

I would say he is very socialized, and very secure. I would take that as a compliment from him.

For the record...kids do the same thing. They have us all the time...the novelty wore off us a long time ago lol.

I would decide what you want him to do, and work on that, but it doesn't sound like a bad thing unless it is annoying the guests. 

Trust me, he loves his Mama! It is just that you have done that great of a job with him.


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## Chalex (Feb 19, 2010)

tamizami said:


> i'm jealous, i want your "problem"!


 
Oh yeah!!!


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