# Help with PMS Preteen!



## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

My 11 yr old DD (my oldest) had her period for the first time at the end of Oct and not since. It's not regular, which is expected--but also makes planning a pain. Her PMS is off the charts too--and I'm not talking physical symptoms (although there are a few more mild ones) I'm talking extreme moodiness--crying jags for days. She really seems like she is suffereing. As if this age isn't hard enough already. I don't know how to help her--she's a MESS emotionally. I don't know what can be done, if anything, for kids this age. Any suggestions?? (yes, I know you established moms with older daughters are laughing at me lol).


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

Oh i know that one well!!! I don't have any advice for you - am hoping to get some from this thread, LOL.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

My studied advice with 2 daughters is to:
1. get a rather large box & cut a hole in the front large enough to put a plate through.
2. get her to crawl into the box & seal it up
3. when she turns 13 cover up the hole

Just kidding of course---the best medicine is a good sense of humor---it will take you far


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## Starsmom (Jan 31, 2009)

Didn't have the pleasure of a daughter, but I am laughing!









Pam, does she have any idea her Mother is posting such personal information in a forum??? :w00t:


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

Been there and done that! The worst part is that it happens when you least expect it. Boom! One day my adorable little girl looked at me as though I was the embodiment of a goddess, and the next day she told me that my haircut was totally out of style and that I looked dorky. You'll get no warning. And then one day the happy, tender mother-daughter talks sound like this:

Her: “Mom, you are not going to wear that outfit out of the house are you?” 
Me: “What is wrong with this outfit?” 
Her: “You look like totally old.” 

Or it might sound like this:
Me: “Look at this great outfit, honey. It would look so nice on you.” 
Her: “Mom, (the eyes rolling) do you want me to look like a _dork_?” 
Me: “What's wrong with this outfit?” 
Her: “_You_ wear it if you like it so much. Don't you know anything about what's in?” 

When girls hit the double digits something happens to them. You know it's hormones, and the first place it affects is their mouths. Everything they say is followed an eye roll and a “whatever!" 
There are some basic parental rules:
* When you are out in public with your daughter, don't even _think_ about showing an outward signs of affection unless there's absolutely _no_ possibility of being seen by anyone close to her age.
*Do not try to hug her, do not pat her on the shoulder—in fact, it's probably best not to even acknowledge that you actually know who she is. 
* Some of it _is _very funny, but don't EVER let them see you laugh. Preteen daughters are notoriously serious and very UN-funny.

Best advice. Be the Mom, they have plenty of friends. Hold your breath and count as high as you can (I developed and exceptional lung capacity at this stage) to never let them get you going. And remember, it will be over in approximately...mmmm...about five to seven years!! (and you though infancy was tough!!)


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

pammy4501 said:


> Been there and done that! The worst part is that it happens when you least expect it. Boom! One day my adorable little girl looked at me as though I was the embodiment of a goddess, and the next day she told me that my haircut was totally out of style and that I looked dorky. You'll get no warning. And then one day the happy, tender mother-daughter talks sound like this:
> 
> Her: “Mom, you are not going to wear that outfit out of the house are you?”
> Me: “What is wrong with this outfit?”
> ...


OH my gosh you are SO funny! So true--all of it! Thanks for sharing and giving me a laugh and knowing I am not alone helps tremedously!!

Such a funny age--some days I'm her worst enemy, other days she's following me everywhere chattering a mile a minute.

I talked to her a little about PMS tonight--I hope I shed some light. We had a few good laughs.

I think for some this is more of a "private" convo but, really, I've always been very open with my girls about such things (age appropriate convos) and in this day and age it's pretty common. Girls are growing up a LOT faster than they used to. 

Thank God our fluffs don't have PMS! LOL Wait, or do they? I only have boy fluffs lol


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## MaryH (Mar 7, 2006)

I have one little girl dog who just might get PMS. Out of nowhere she started acting very "snitty" around the other dogs. Talked to a friend who has a littermate sister to my girl and she said the same was going on in her house. Sure enough 2-3 weeks later both girls came into season. She is back to being her dear sweet self and so is her sister.


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## lori (Jul 8, 2008)

pammy4501 said:


> Been there and done that! The worst part is that it happens when you least expect it. Boom! One day my adorable little girl looked at me as though I was the embodiment of a goddess, and the next day she told me that my haircut was totally out of style and that I looked dorky. You'll get no warning. And then one day the happy, tender mother-daughter talks sound like this:
> 
> Her: “Mom, you are not going to wear that outfit out of the house are you?”
> Me: “What is wrong with this outfit?”
> ...


OMG!!! You are HILARIOUS but goodness, this is ALL so true!! My daughter is 13 so I know just where you are all coming from!!!


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## SugarBob62 (Nov 9, 2009)

I don't really have any suggestions, all I can say is I can relate!!! Wow I feel old, but I got mine when I was 13, so 13 years ago!!! I remember it well hahaha.

We were going out of town on a LONG bus ride for a wedding of our old minister. And right before we went, was right when it started. And I just remember having HORRIBLE cramps and it was really really heavy. And it was not fun being on a bus ride for that! In a dress....going to a wedding. It was bad enough it was the first time experiencing that, especially under those circumstances.

I don't remember how I felt emotionally though. But the sporadic thing I can relate too as well. Mine wasn't regulated until going on the pill a few years ago. I had to have stuff with me at all times. I could go 50+ days without having it. Between like 30-50 was my range...sooooo annoying. And I remember shortly after that, one of the summers I got it right on vacation too!!! And I could not use tampons then either, so I spent my summer vacation sitting on a chair with shorts on, staring at the ocean...

So yes, I can relate to your poor little girl. I guess just tell her it gets better? I think my mom used to tell me, its part of being a woman! You are growing up, blah blah blah, that kinda thing. I don't mind it at all now, I guess you get used to it hahaha.


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## silverhaven (Sep 6, 2009)

Whoa! I am glad those times are over now :w00t: :smpullhair: my two girls weren't anywhere near to that early though.

One think you may consider trying is Evening Primrose Oil. It really helped me and my daughter to just balance moods out a bit. I was crazy without it and much better with. :thumbsup:


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## garrettsmom (May 15, 2006)

Yikes....that behavior sounds so very familiar-especially the eye rolling, snide comments and 'don't even go near me attitude' in public places. The thing is, I only have a SON!!. I think it's not so much PMS hormones but an entry into teen-dom where kids are just not very pleasant to their parents. My son just turned 20 and I still see remnants of it!


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## uniquelovdolce (Mar 10, 2010)

honey as a mom of a 16 going on 17 and a 13 going on 14 in jan all i can say is patience. patience patience , u will def need it.


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## wooflife (Aug 8, 2007)

When my step daughter went through this it was 'fun time'. We dealt with it by laughing and joking a lot. We listened a lot as well, but also did not tolerate the dramatic responses and smart mouthing. Who knows whether we handled it right or wrong but we got through it and we still love each other. She's 15 now and still cries a lot when she gets overwhelmed at that time of the month but that's normal.

We are still working on getting her to actually verbalize her feelings when she's upset about something though. She is so afraid of hurting someones feelings that she won't say anything and that gets really tough. It's hard to help someone who won't tell you what's wrong.


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

garrettsmom said:


> Yikes....that behavior sounds so very familiar-especially the eye rolling, snide comments and 'don't even go near me attitude' in public places. The thing is, I only have a SON!!. I think it's not so much PMS hormones but an entry into teen-dom where kids are just not very pleasant to their parents. My son just turned 20 and I still see remnants of it!


You are so right! Boys are not exempt! I still remember the day I was dropping my son off at the Junior High and he asked me to turn off the radio so that his friends wouldn't hear what kind of music I listened to!!
For cryin out loud! I was listening the the Rolling Stones!!! It dosen't get any cooler than that!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Yup. Had it going with my son too so I don't think it's necessarily just PMS, Pam. We used to go up to VT to ski. Ride up in the gondola, get off and bend down to adjust my boots, stand up...HE'S GONE!:angry: Couldn't take the risk of being seen near his mom especially in a one-piece ski suit. :smpullhair: 

Worst was around 7th Grade so 13yo. Just really bad for one year and then he would be sweet, lovable and fun. I think you have to give them some space, really let them know how much you love them and that you're there for them and can tell them anything, keep talking to them because even tho they seem to not listen, I've heard my son say things to other friends which was verbatim of what I told him, keep track of friends and activities and let them have some independence. His friends always liked me more than he did at that point. To our own child, they pretend there's no one stupider, uncool-er, dorkier and more annoying than a parent but I think deep down they know it isn't so. :blink: I just hope they get a little dose from their own kids.:HistericalSmiley:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

LOL, wait till you come home from work and the police are at your house! Now that's embarrassing!! Happened a couple of times to me....one of those times my daughter and some "friends":blink: ordered 6 loaded pizzas and had them sent to some address on the other side of town. :smilie_tischkante:


Another time kids were having a party inside my house (ummm, no kids allowed inside when I'm not home) ....well some of them felt it would be fun to get up on the top of the roof and throw empty beer cans into the neighbors yard :blink::w00t: 

OMG, I am so glad those years are over!! My daughter thought I was the dumbest person on the face of the earth. :angry:....but now she's 33 and I'm back to being pretty smart again. :thumbsup:


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## Maltbabe (Oct 10, 2010)

*How true*



pammy4501 said:


> Been there and done that! The worst part is that it happens when you least expect it. Boom! One day my adorable little girl looked at me as though I was the embodiment of a goddess, and the next day she told me that my haircut was totally out of style and that I looked dorky. You'll get no warning. And then one day the happy, tender mother-daughter talks sound like this:
> 
> Her: “Mom, you are not going to wear that outfit out of the house are you?”
> Me: “What is wrong with this outfit?”
> ...


I had 3 daughters and OMG it is difficult! best advise is to just MARK YOUR CALENDAR and swallow your tongue when those days arrive! anything and everything you say is taken in the wrong direction. If you are lucky they will out grow it by the time they hit 25 they start liking you again :HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley:


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Oh bless all of you skin Moms with these precious girls and boys as well.

I don't have any skin children of my own, but boy I think my Mom should write an instruction manual on this topic, as she had 5 girls :w00t: and twins to boot. I am the 5th girl and was my precious Dad's last hope for a boy (sorry Dad , but oh he loved his girls.

Anyway, I guess the only thing that I can share, is that Mom's rules and her expectations of us never changed, no matter what. Not saying that is right or wrong, just sharing my experience. Mom's rules remained.

Oh how I remember my Mom "talking" to me, and her saying " Look at me when I talk to you", so okay I did :huh:, THEN she says, "Don't give me that look when I am talking to you". I'm thinking geez now what do I do 

Not saying at all that Mom's way was right or perfect, is there actually a perfect way? Each child is different. But in the end, it actually helped all 5 of us prepare for the real world, that despite, how we were feeling, during that time, we had to keep it in check, because the outside world, bosses, teachers, anyone in authority, wouldn't have the compassion or understanding.

Now if I had a daughter, who would weep during those times, that would break my heart, and I think I would consult a gyn about that. That must be so hard to see and what you must feel seeing your daughter emotional .

Being the 5th one, um, really did not have it's advantages. I kid Mom today, when I look back at all the baby pictures of my sisters, oh how cute they were. So cute. And then you get to me, oh there's one when I was about 3 years old, and then oooops next picture I'm in 6th grade :HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley: I guess by that time, Mom got a wee bit tired of picture taking. :HistericalSmiley:

Bless all of you skin Mom's out there. I admire you greatly. Greatest job on earth, hardest one at times, I am sure, but also has to be the most rewarding.

Bless you all.


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## lori (Jul 8, 2008)

pammy4501 said:


> You are so right! Boys are not exempt! I still remember the day I was dropping my son off at the Junior High and he asked me to turn off the radio so that his friends wouldn't hear what kind of music I listened to!!
> For cryin out loud! I was listening the the Rolling Stones!!! It dosen't get any cooler than that!



OMG!!! LOL!!! My daughter does the EXACT SAME THING when I drop her off at the bus stop in the morning!!! :HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley:


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## Johita (Jul 10, 2009)

The A Team said:


> LOL, wait till you come home from work and the police are at your house! Now that's embarrassing!! Happened a couple of times to me....one of those times my daughter and some "friends":blink: ordered 6 loaded pizzas and had them sent to some address on the other side of town. :smilie_tischkante:
> 
> 
> Another time kids were having a party inside my house (ummm, no kids allowed inside when I'm not home) ....well some of them felt it would be fun to get up on the top of the roof and throw empty beer cans into the neighbors yard :blink::w00t:
> ...


 

Whoah!! Sounds like good times! LOL, JK. I was actually somewhat prudish as a kid so I never really did any of that (I was also scared to death of my parents and now I wonder why), but it sure is fun to hear what others went through LOL!


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## spookiesmom (Mar 28, 2010)

I worked in my local school district for 23 plus years, and have one skin kid. I always said when they hit middle school age they became aliens. LOL

DD and I would PMS at the same time. It was awful. I'm not sure a doc could help, but if she really is struggling, it may be worth taking her in.

Or you could get a whipand chain for her, Lady Clairol for you!! TeeHee


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## iheartbisou (Feb 13, 2007)

pammy4501 said:


> You are so right! Boys are not exempt! I still remember the day I was dropping my son off at the Junior High and he asked me to turn off the radio so that his friends wouldn't hear what kind of music I listened to!!
> For cryin out loud! I was listening the the Rolling Stones!!! It dosen't get any cooler than that!


:HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley: Honestly I think you would have been my dream mother!! Not just from this post but from everything else I know about you. lol.

Pam- I have no advice for you..but hang in there!!


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