# When to put "down"....



## Mom2AbbeyAnne (Sep 17, 2011)

My little AbbeyAnne will be 16 years old next month. Twice she has gone to the vet after the "goodby hugs". Twice the vet thought he could "make it all better" and she got to come back home.

Abbey is blind, has dementia and will just fall over at times when just walking. She now has to wear a diaper because her bladder links. She is always hungry wanting to eat all the time. She has be be carried outside to go potty. Now here's the "kicker"....

Abbey will come in from outside running and leaping in the air. She does her "wiggly wiggle" treat because she has gone potty and has earned a treat.

Would like feedback. I'm thinking as long as she happy. My husband thinks it's time.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Bless your heart. I think many of us, have been where you are. For hubby and I the best indicater is Quality of Life for your baby. If she is happy, not suffering at all, eating, drinking as she should, I say enjoy these special moments.

She sure sounds happy to me, she just has special needs, and that makes her special.

Many hugs.


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## almitra (Apr 24, 2009)

I have to agree with Allheart---she sounds wonderful and is simply growing older. Constant pain that cannot be ameliorated and loss of all quality of life would be hallmarks for me to consider the alternative. ((hugs))


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Agree with the others here - if she is still happy and enjoying life, keep her comfortable. One day she will look at you with eyes that say "it is time" and you will know that she is ready for the rainbow bridge. Until then, love her and enjoy her "wiggly wiggles" for as long as they last.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I'm so sorry that you're going through this now. Sixteen years in a very long life so you must be a great mom.
My cousin just went through this with her beagle. He, in fact had had cancer and two rounds of chemo over the past couple of years and really had a diminished quality of life. He could see but was deaf and he was always ravenous and kind of dragging around though as you say with the treat dance, would perk up for a treat. I had pet sat Bailey many times and could see such a difference. Near the end she thought she was going to lose him but she said he rallied. Rallying for her was that he wasn't on death's doorstep but he was leaking pee, sometimes in control of bladder sometimes not, suddenly very picky about food which he never was before, yet still ravenous so she would try food after food. To me he just seemed restless. I think he knew something was very wrong with himself and he wasn't comfortable and thus restless. 
But I also think my cousin was keeping him going more for her than for him. He ended up going in a very sad way when they were out - lost all control of his faculties, couldn't get up the stairs he always did and could barely lift his head and was whimpering. At that point, I really think she had waited too long and I think it would have been kinder of her to have had him put down before and spared him a horrible end. 
I think you have to just keep AbbeyAnne at the forefront of your decision and then I know you'll do the right thing. :grouphug:


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## LJSquishy (Feb 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, I know for all of us it is the most difficult decision to make and even when we do say goodbye, it doesn't heal our hearts.

It really is a decision you and your husband (and usually with the help of your vet) need to make together. You are the ones who see the quality of her life on a daily basis. It sounds like she has quite a few obstacles, but that she is still enjoying her life as it is. I know it is hard when incontinance comes into play. It means you have to be there for her like you would be for a human infant. I don't carry my dogs outside to potty, but I do walk out with them every time, so having to accompany her potty wouldn't bother me at all. The fact that she is still able to have some bladder/bowel control is great. Honestly, I think I would try and make her last moments as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. I think she will probably go on her own, when she is ready. If her quality of life seems to decline even more, then I would certainly consider and speak with my vet about letting her go. Sometimes I think humans need to step in when they get really bad. So far, I think she is just aging as she should and she is progressing through the natural stages on her own.

Hugs to you, your husband, and your precious little girl. Hang in there.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Snowbody said:


> I'm so sorry that you're going through this now. Sixteen years in a very long life so you must be a great mom.
> My cousin just went through this with her beagle. He, in fact had had cancer and two rounds of chemo over the past couple of years and really had a diminished quality of life. He could see but was deaf and he was always ravenous and kind of dragging around though as you say with the treat dance, would perk up for a treat. I had pet sat Bailey many times and could see such a difference. Near the end she thought she was going to lose him but she said he rallied. Rallying for her was that he wasn't on death's doorstep but he was leaking pee, sometimes in control of bladder sometimes not, suddenly very picky about food which he never was before, yet still ravenous so she would try food after food. To me he just seemed restless. I think he knew something was very wrong with himself and he wasn't comfortable and thus restless.
> But I also think my cousin was keeping him going more for her than for him. He ended up going in a very sad way when they were out - lost all control of his faculties, couldn't get up the stairs he always did and could barely lift his head and was whimpering. At that point, I really think she had waited too long and I think it would have been kinder of her to have had him put down before and spared him a horrible end.
> I think you have to just keep AbbeyAnne at the forefront of your decision and then I know you'll do the right thing. :grouphug:


Oh Susan, bless the dear Beagle, how I love them. Yes, keeping Abbey Ann first and foremost, is the answer, and I think that is what the poster is doing bless her.

My "son" Flakey lived till he was 15. Cushions, Congestive heart failure, but with loving care, you would never have known it. He remained a happy little boy. And then one day, we were on our way out, and Flakey came and sat at my feet and looked up at me, and I said "Mommy knows sweetheart" I will never forget that day. I threw my purse down, and off to the hospital we went. Always keep your babies quality of life, first priority, regardless of what a vet may say. Fortunately, our vet, was part of the loving decision. 

Oh how I love Seniors, and they will sadly get older, and that is when they need us the most, to do right by them. 

Many hugs.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

LJSquishy said:


> I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, I know for all of us it is the most difficult decision to make and even when we do say goodbye, it doesn't heal our hearts.
> 
> It really is a decision you and your husband (and usually with the help of your vet) need to make together. You are the ones who see the quality of her life on a daily basis. It sounds like she has quite a few obstacles, but that she is still enjoying her life as it is. I know it is hard when incontinance comes into play. It means you have to be there for her like you would be for a human infant. I don't carry my dogs outside to potty, but I do walk out with them every time, so having to accompany her potty wouldn't bother me at all. The fact that she is still able to have some bladder/bowel control is great. Honestly, I think I would try and make her last moments as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. I think she will probably go on her own, when she is ready. If her quality of life seems to decline even more, then I would certainly consider and speak with my vet about letting her go. Sometimes I think humans need to step in when they get really bad. So far, I think she is just aging as she should and she is progressing through the natural stages on her own.
> 
> Hugs to you, your husband, and your precious little girl. Hang in there.


 
Beautifully said Lisa.


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## Mom2AbbeyAnne (Sep 17, 2011)

Thank you ALL....each and every one! I will share the wonderful replies with my husband.  I am sure it will make a difference in his heart as well.

What beautiful pics of your "babies". I hope each of you get a "wiggly" today as well.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Mom2AbbeyAnne said:


> Thank you ALL....each and every one! I will share the wonderful replies with my husband. I am sure it will make a difference in his heart as well.
> 
> What beautiful pics of your "babies". I hope each of you get a "wiggly" today as well.


Bless your heart. You have already received the same thoughts from other SM members that I, too, would have shared with you.

Your words here touched me ...hoping that everyone else here gets a "wiggly" from their fluff babies today. With that, I feel you will know what is best for your beloved angel, AbbeyAnne. You are such a loving mommy to her.

Warm hugs.


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## Chalex (Feb 19, 2010)

I know exactlly what you're going through because I just had to put my 16 year old Lucy down. She too was blind, deaf, suffered from dementia, and fell a lot. But she still wanted to be with her people and loved to eat so I felt she was still enjoying life. On September 6th, I was watching tv in the evening and couldn't stop looking at Lucy. Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth and she was walking in circles and falling. The next day (my birthday) I called the vet and they told me to pull her skin on her back (just below the neck) to see if it went right down. It took 3 seconds to go down so they said she was dehydrated and asked me to bring her in. My vet felt that she would die within a few days, and the most humane thing to do was put her down. I said good by to my beautiful girl of 16 years, but I knew it was the right thing. I know this is a long winded story but the point is, you'll know when it's time. Good luck! I know exactly how you feel.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

I went through the same thing with my Bichon, Lacie. She was almost 15 and blind, deaf, no teeth, incontinent, a bad back and very grouchy!

I took her to the vet every week trying something else. Then one day i asked him when we know it was time to let her rest. He told me, she's been ready to go, she's been waiting for you to let her. :blush:

Don't know if it was true or not, but it sure made it easier. 

It sounds as if your Abbey is still enjoying her life a bit.....when the joy is gone....well, then you have to do what's best for her. 

It's no fun, but it happens. You'll mourn her and miss her, but in time, it will get better.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Went through the same w/ Amy,our little black cocker spaniel. We had gotten our two puppies just before she went to the bridge. Sometimes I think she was waiting until we had another fluff, to watch over us,so she could go...

Amy was blind,deaf but still able to potty,eat and drink some. 
Until that last day,when she had diahreah,real bad,she began to cry in pain. She could barely lay down w/o crying..
She was 15½,the last week I was giving her extra fluids,Sub Q and she was eating and drinking a little bit.

That day she tried to lay down on the couch, she was having such a hard time all hunched up in pain. I asked her "is it time baby?" she let out a cry as if to say "yes" ,with all she had left. We called the vet,took her in and we sent her to heaven.

For the 6 months previous she slowly declined but would do a little come back... That day she was ready. She had,until that point,had that little wiggle but that day even the spark in her eyes was gone...

It's up to you,it's so hard to know when. It's hard to let go and there are times I think I waited too long...

Sometimes they tell you,sometimes they don't.I guess I try to put myself in their place and ask,would I want to go on,or have someone send me to heaven...

It's the ultimate act of love to let them go when it's time and the hardest thing you ever do...


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

michellerobison said:


> Went through the same w/ Amy,our little black cocker spaniel. We had gotten our two puppies just before she went to the bridge. Sometimes I think she was waiting until we had another fluff, to watch over us,so she could go...
> 
> Amy was blind,deaf but still able to potty,eat and drink some.
> Until that last day,when she had diahreah,real bad,she began to cry in pain. She could barely lay down w/o crying..
> ...


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## coco&nina (May 8, 2008)

maggieh said:


> Agree with the others here - if she is still happy and enjoying life, keep her comfortable. *One day she will look at you with eyes that say "it is time" and you will know that she is ready for the rainbow bridge*. Until then, love her and enjoy her "wiggly wiggles" for as long as they last.


Gosh, this made me tear up. I agree with the others. Wishing you more precious time with your little one...


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

The only bad thing about a dog is they just don't live long enough!
Having to say "good-bye" to a beloved pet is one of the hardest decisions of life. I have been there a few times and the best thing anyone told me was "try and decide if you are keeping them alive for them, or for you." Then the decision becomes more clear.
Sending you hugs, prayers up for you and your baby and loving thoughts.


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