# puppy separation anxiety



## mmyow (Mar 6, 2014)

Hi everyone,

I am desperately seeking your advice on any feasible solutions to separation anxiety. I have my 8 month old puppy, for about 3 weeks now and its not getting any better. The main problem is that I work 9-6pm in Corporate and often gets home late. As I leave her for 11 hours alone in the basement, she goes nuts...she claws and scratches the door frame until the wood pieces of the frame starts falling of...chews up her pad...and today i discovered that her paws were bloody from scratching...sigh....i dont know what to do...help!


----------



## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

Whoa. First of all - be prepared for some strong comments here. Second of all - this isn't the dog's fault, it is yours. 

The first thing I would start with is having someone come in to let the puppy out and play with him. He shouldn't be locked in the basement, he should have his own xpen with crate. If you were locked in a basement for hours each day, you'd be scratching to get out too.

Sorry if this seems harsh, this just struck a negative cord with me.


----------



## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Oh no. Really sorry to hear this. 11 hours alone is too long, especially for a puppy, and even more for a Maltese puppy. They are companion dogs and are not bred to be happy when left alone for that long. 

Is there someone who could help you walk the puppy and play for a bit during the day? Perhaps a dog walker or a daycare. I don't see how else this could work. 


Sent from Petguide.com App


----------



## Dominic (Nov 4, 2012)

Really? Separation anxiety? This is not a separation anxiety issue. Get yourself in the basement for 11 hours, then come back so we can talk. Sorry but this is really upsetting.


----------



## Ruby (Nov 5, 2013)

I feel so bad for your puppy. It is cruel to leave him alone in a basement for 11 hours. You really need to find someone to give him some relief.


----------



## Piccolina (Dec 25, 2009)

:crying 2:My heart is bleeding just thinking about this pupp.

11 hours all alone, not 1 hour, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7, not 8,not 9, not 10 hours

BUT 11 hours. Can you imagine how it feels to be so lonely and abandoned?

Can you put the TV on for him so he will hear something?

If you are not with him for 11 hours a day, what is left for you to be with him?

Can you give him temporarily to someone who will have more hours with him?

He is so scared, lonely, bored, anxious because he is in 4 walls for 11 hours. How horrible. 

Maltese are like little human beings (like babies):

If you will not give him away, can you get him a companion dog?





*


----------



## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

Oh my goodness, I'm kind of speechless. You should not lock any dog in a basement for 11 hours a day, much less a maltese, much less a maltese puppy. You need to rethink your arrangement or you're going to have a very unhappy, unbalanced dog on your hands. Did you research this breed before you got her? Honestly, I feel a little sick thinking about what that poor puppy must go through all day by herself. If you really are not home for 11 hours a day I think the kindest thing to do would be to find a new home for your dog, maybe get a cat instead.


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Amy, can you tell us more about your situation? Did you buy this dog? If so, why? I am trying to understand where you are coming from w. this, but honestly, it is hard. 
Please, please think about rehoming Tori ASAP. If you need help in knowing how to do that, we can help! This is no life for a little puppy, in fact it is quite cruel. I beg you to reconsider what you are doing. It is heart breaking.


----------



## Ann Mother (Dec 18, 2013)

I cannot add anything that has not already been mentioned. If I lived near you I'd volunteer to dogsit for you. Your lifestyle is not condusive to puppy.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## SA_GC (Oct 14, 2013)

Please take the advice given very kindly by the people on this forum. Tori is not happy and deserves to be happy. If you love Tori, you have to do the right, good and kind thing for her. I wish you well.


----------



## LovemyLucyLu (Mar 10, 2014)

11hours in a basement is a long time alone for a pup or any dog but especially a pup. Maltese are dogs that require attention from us. My baby is 6 months old, she has a pen 4 feet by 6 feet with a gate. Her bed, food, toys and puppy pad are there too. My hubby and I are are gone for 8 hours every day at work. I'm fortunate to have my sister in law, down the street, come over every day at noon time to take her out of the pen and bring her down stairs for a couple of hours to visit with my mother in law and plays with her. These dogs need socialization. I hope you consider having someone come over and be with your dog and even walk him.


----------



## Polly's mom (Apr 29, 2013)

Please stay with us Amy. This forum can be harsh but we love the fluffs and feel a need to advocate for them. 
We need to know more. Was Tori an impulse acquisition. You work long hours as many of us Fluff Mommies do, did you enter your current situation with a plan? 
Are there any resources you can muster? Friends, day care, dog walker? 
Maltese are called Velcro Dogs for a reason! Tori must be so unhappy and confused to be without you and alone all day. This could result in permenent psychosis and eventually you could become so disillusioned you will begin to resent her and begin punishing her for what in your frustration you will interpret as "bad behavior". 
This forum has the knowledge and compassion to help you. I will be thinking of you every day. My heart is breaking for your precious Fluff and the difficult decisions you will have to make. Please research every possible option! I am sure you love your fluff and wish to give her the best possible life. Unfortunately that may be rehoming Tori to a situation more appropriate to the personality of a Matlese. There is a time for all purpose, etc. perhaps Fluff Mommy is not the right fit at this time in your life.


----------



## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

I didn't read this thread at first thinking it was just a case of a puppy getting used to a new situation. 11 hours alone, let alone in a basement, and a puppy to boot!!!! Hopefully you'll take the advice here, and severely change the situation(puppy in the main living area, in a comfortable, safe x pen, comfy bed, fresh water, pee pads, and someone to come in to play , exercise, stimulate and love that puppy!)


----------



## pippersmom (May 21, 2012)

Maybe this is a FINISHED basement and not a cold damp basement with just a cement floor????? I agree with everyone else that 11 hours is way to long for these dogs to be left alone. They thrive on human companionship and NEED to be with their people. Is there any way you can take her to work with you.


----------



## Alvar's Mom (Mar 5, 2007)

11 hours is a long time. I think you love Tori very much or you wouldn't be looking for help, hopefully you're still here...

You're in NYC. There are a LOT of different resources for you. It may take a bit of experimenting to find the right combination, but here are some things to try:

Doggie daycare - there are a million different ones. Look for one near either your home or office. The advantage of one near your office is that you could visit her during your lunch break. I would try this as a once a week thing. There are a lot of very high energy dogs that go daily, but I think that's overwhelming for a Maltese. You want one that separates by size and gives quiet time breaks throughout the day. Check yelp reviews etc.

Dog Walker - this is the minimum that you need every day. Ask neighbors with small dogs, check yelp etc. some doggie day ares have packages that include daycare and dog walking services.

Dog friendly office? - it's not possible for everyone, but maybe she could come with you once a week or so? Keep in mind that coworkers can teach some pretty obnoxious behaviors if you're not careful...

During evenings and weekends make sure you're giving her lots of stimulation. Meet ups/play times are great. A must to me is training classes, especially if Tori is your first dog. I've taken classes with Andrea Arden Dog Training (they have several locations in Manhattan) and the Brooklyn Dog Training Center (in Brooklyn obviously). Both are excellent.

You can do it if you're committed.


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

:ThankYou::goodpost::goodpost:



Alvar's Mom said:


> 11 hours is a long time. I think you love Tori very much or you wouldn't be looking for help, hopefully you're still here...
> 
> You're in NYC. There are a LOT of different resources for you. It may take a bit of experimenting to find the right combination, but here are some things to try:
> 
> ...


----------



## IzzysBellasMom (Jan 16, 2013)

pippersmom said:


> Maybe this is a FINISHED basement and not a cold damp basement with just a cement floor????? I agree with everyone else that 11 hours is way to long for these dogs to be left alone. They thrive on human companionship and NEED to be with their people. Is there any way you can take her to work with you.


This is what I am hopeing also. Although we don't have basements in the south, I have been/seen quite a few basements that are pretty awesome. Although it doesn't take away from the fact that 11 hours a day is too long for a maltese to be alone.


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

pippersmom said:


> Maybe this is a FINISHED basement and not a cold damp basement with just a cement floor????? I agree with everyone else that 11 hours is way to long for these dogs to be left alone. They thrive on human companionship and NEED to be with their people. Is there any way you can take her to work with you.





IzzysBellasMom said:


> This is what I am hopeing also. Although we don't have basements in the south, I have been/seen quite a few basements that are pretty awesome. Although it doesn't take away from the fact that 11 hours a day is too long for a maltese to be alone.


I was thinking the same thing ... that it is possibly a "finished basement". We own a three level townhome and the lower level is called (because of the design of the windows, etc.) an English Basement. Our lower level is completely finished with wall to wall carpeting that includes a family room with a gas fireplace, a den, a full bath, and a laundry room. I have gotten frustrated when my own husband has referred to it as a basement ...and, especially to people who have never seen the house ... because I know it can be pictured as a cold dark basement. 

HOWEVER ... I think it is unacceptable to leave ANY kind of dog alone for eleven hours ... and, especially a Maltese. I also hate hearing of Maltese that are crated or in an x-pen for long periods of time ... I don't think that is mentally and physically healthy for them. (we recently had another poster who thought it was okay to crate her fluff for very long hours ... in order to discourage the poor fluff baby from using the pee pads) 

I hope Amy hasn't been discouraged from seeking help here for Tori. If she really loves Tori ... she will do everything possible to put the health and welfare of Tori first. From Amy and Tori's picture ... Amy looks young. So, this could be a learning experience for Amy ... and, sometimes learning experiences can be painful. Hopefully, Amy is mature enough not to run away from the well meaning advice offered by SM members ... and instead do the right thing ... to assure Tori will be living in a happy and healthy environment. I have faith that Amy means well and loves Tori enough to do what is best for that precious fluff baby.


----------



## Bailey&Me (Mar 8, 2010)

Alvar's Mom said:


> 11 hours is a long time. I think you love Tori very much or you wouldn't be looking for help, hopefully you're still here...
> 
> You're in NYC. There are a LOT of different resources for you. It may take a bit of experimenting to find the right combination, but here are some things to try:
> 
> ...


:goodpost: :thumbsup:


----------



## Daisy's Mommie (Sep 24, 2012)

Please, please put yourself in the puppy's place. I know you don't mean to be cruel but I could not be left by myself for 11 hours and I am in my 50's. I have 3 fluffs and I am gone 8 hours a day. I worry all day about my little ones. Please, for the sake of your furchild, start doing things differently.


----------



## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

:blink: Wow, guess I get most horrible pup parent of the year award.

My dogs are alone about 9 hours a day. They survive. I don't think it's realistic to expect a dog owner to be at home all day with their dogs, people have to work to afford to feed the dog to afford their vet care. 

Some individuals are retired, some are fortunate enough not to have to work for a living-if that is your situation that is great, and I'm happy for you. The fact that I work full time does not mean I have no right to own matlese dogs. We do very well, and when I am home, my life revolves around them. 

I am a great dog mom and I love my boys like they are my kids.

As far as a basement, it doesn't mean its dark and nasty and cold and horrible. I mean, she could have a playpen set up with puppy pads-who knows...

If you can though, a doggie daycare or a pet sitter who can come visit her would be an EXCELLENT idea. If you can go home for lunches, that would be great too, so she isn't alone for that long of a stretch of time. A dog walker would be great but I've seen so many reports of people having bad experiences with them-I would run some kinda camera to make sure your pup is really getting the attention that you're paying for her to get.

Those are just a few ideas, hoping you post more about situation and let us know how things go.


----------



## BeautifulMaltese (Dec 4, 2013)

Oh dear....I don't know how to respond. My first reaction is the same as most. First and foremost, if you truly love this dog, you must find an alternative to the current situation. These dogs (as most have already noted) need socialization and you must start this from a very young age. For him/her to be alone for that long is not a good way to start out their life. 

I fear you will have so many more problems later if you can't find alternatives. Surely, there must be someone, a neighbor, family who can help? If not, maybe it just isn't the right time in your busy life to have a pup?

When my mother couldn't take my Zoe, I paid someone (I know not everyone can do that, but for me I didn't care if I had to go without something - so a few less luxuries each week!) to come by, walk her and play with her for 1/2 hour- 45 min. It breaks the day up for them. I did it being gone for only 7 - 8 hours a day.

I am very concerned that this baby is clawing so bad the paws are bloody. Please, take the advice of these people here and find some way to make it work better for the pup, or consider a new home ! Truly heartbreaking....please stay here on this forum and let others guide you if you don't know what to do!


----------



## Bailey&Me (Mar 8, 2010)

Hi Amy. First of all, I missed your welcome thread so wanted to say…welcome to SM and I hope you stay with us as there is lots to learn here! As you have seen, we are passionate about our beloved dogs and are eager to help new owners with questions. You have gotten some really great advice here and I hope you seriously consider looking in to the suggestions others have offered. As Anne pointed out, you have many options available to you especially since you are in NYC so you are very fortunate! 

With that said, I do have a slightly different take on this situation than some others. With all due respect, I don’t think that just because you work and are outside of the house during the day that you should have to rehome your dog. There are many working families who have happy, healthy dogs and are making this lifestyle work well for them. I, myself, am in that boat. I am a single woman and I work and yes, sometimes I do have to be away from home 9-10 hours a day unfortunately…however, I have two dogs and I’d like to think they are doing pretty well. The key is that you have to be dedicated to do whatever it takes for your dog to be happy and well-adjusted, and you may have to work extra hard to make that happen in the time that you are not at work. I lived alone for two years and was really nervous about how the dogs would adjust to my work schedule but they did just fine! I’ll tell you what worked for us – first, we took a long walk in the morning and then I settled in the dogs in a safely gated puppy-proof area that had lots of toys and interactive treat toys to keep them busy, and of course puppy pads. Often I left the tv or radio on for them too. Whenever I could, I came home for lunch but that was not always possible. In the evenings, we would do a long walk again and some play time, visit with friends and other dogs, etc. A couple of nights a week, I would take them to agility/obedience classes and play dates. The weekends were spent mostly doing dog-friendly activities. All of this really helped a lot in keeping my dogs mentally and physically stimulated and therefore, not bored or anxious or panicked while left alone during the work day. With a new puppy, you just have to find what works for you – it may be a combination of what everyone has suggested. As long as you are dedicated to making this work, you can figure out a solution that both you and your puppy will be happy with - I don’t want you to feel discouraged or think that there will never be a chance of making this work just because you have a full time job. 

Also some other thoughts - I don’t know what your basement looks like but maybe moving her upstairs to a main living area in a gated off section or a puppy pen may help her feel more secure while she’s alone. You may also want to talk to close neighbors and see if you can find someone to visit her or stay with her part of the day. Are you enrolled in puppy classes? Talk to your trainer for recommendations – he/she may know of great dog walkers/day cares in your area. Plus, the summer is coming up – I’m sure there are lots of teens who would love babysitting a puppy – best job in the world! Just some thoughts

If you could tell us more about yourself and Tori, that would help us to offer more suggestions. Hope this helped and good luck with her!!


----------



## Shenno (Oct 1, 2013)

With Nicky when I first got him I tried putting him in the kitchen when I left. He would panic and run to the bedroom and get in his kennel. I finally realized that what I thought was a better situation for him, he didn't. He preferred being in his kennel when I was gone, vs. in the kitchen. I was picking the kitchen because of the floor and that it gave him a lot more room to run around and play. So maybe your pup would prefer a different place then the basement.


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Bailey&Me said:


> Hi Amy. First of all, I missed your welcome thread so wanted to say…welcome to SM and I hope you stay with us as there is lots to learn here! As you have seen, we are passionate about our beloved dogs and are eager to help new owners with questions. You have gotten some really great advice here and I hope you seriously consider looking in to the suggestions others have offered. As Anne pointed out, you have many options available to you especially since you are in NYC so you are very fortunate!
> 
> With that said, I do have a slightly different take on this situation than some others. With all due respect, I don’t think that just because you work and are outside of the house during the day that you should have to rehome your dog. There are many working families who have happy, healthy dogs and are making this lifestyle work well for them. I, myself, am in that boat. I am a single woman and I work and yes, sometimes I do have to be away from home 9-10 hours a day unfortunately…however, I have two dogs and I’d like to think they are doing pretty well. The key is that you have to be dedicated to do whatever it takes for your dog to be happy and well-adjusted, and you may have to work extra hard to make that happen in the time that you are not at work. I lived alone for two years and was really nervous about how the dogs would adjust to my work schedule but they did just fine! I’ll tell you what worked for us – first, we took a long walk in the morning and then I settled in the dogs in a safely gated puppy-proof area that had lots of toys and interactive treat toys to keep them busy, and of course puppy pads. Often I left the tv or radio on for them too. Whenever I could, I came home for lunch but that was not always possible. In the evenings, we would do a long walk again and some play time, visit with friends and other dogs, etc. A couple of nights a week, I would take them to agility/obedience classes and play dates. The weekends were spent mostly doing dog-friendly activities. All of this really helped a lot in keeping my dogs mentally and physically stimulated and therefore, not bored or anxious or panicked while left alone during the work day. With a new puppy, you just have to find what works for you – it may be a combination of what everyone has suggested. As long as you are dedicated to making this work, you can figure out a solution that both you and your puppy will be happy with - I don’t want you to feel discouraged or think that there will never be a chance of making this work just because you have a full time job.
> 
> ...


Excellent post! Nida, you make so many great points with wonderful advice and feedback. I hope Amy reads your post and comes back. Again, I think all of us mean well.


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

shellbeme said:


> :blink: Wow, guess I get most horrible pup parent of the year award.
> 
> My dogs are alone about 9 hours a day. They survive. I don't think it's realistic to expect a dog owner to be at home all day with their dogs, people have to work to afford to feed the dog to afford their vet care.
> 
> ...


Shelly, you are a wonderful mommy. No way would you receive the horrible pup parent of the year award. :tender:

Your post offers many great tips.


----------



## pippersmom (May 21, 2012)

Shenno said:


> With Nicky when I first got him I tried putting him in the kitchen when I left. He would panic and run to the bedroom and get in his kennel. I finally realized that what I thought was a better situation for him, he didn't. He preferred being in his kennel when I was gone, vs. in the kitchen. I was picking the kitchen because of the floor and that it gave him a lot more room to run around and play. So maybe your pup would prefer a different place then the basement.


I think this is a good point. Maybe if you tried an area blocked off in your main living space ( or an x pen ) she would be happier. A year ago I thought Pipper had separation anxiety whenever I left the house. I am never gone very long but I would put him in his crate and when I came home his feet were always dripping wet from him licking them. I took the advice from someone here and tried NOT shutting the door on his crate and that was the answer. His feet were never wet again. :thumbsup:. He loves his crate, he just doesn't want the door shut. Maybe Tori would be happy with an x pen set up in the room you guys spend the most time in.


----------



## mylittleleo (Jan 23, 2014)

Bailey&Me said:


> Hi Amy. First of all, I missed your welcome thread so wanted to say…welcome to SM and I hope you stay with us as there is lots to learn here! As you have seen, we are passionate about our beloved dogs and are eager to help new owners with questions. You have gotten some really great advice here and I hope you seriously consider looking in to the suggestions others have offered. As Anne pointed out, you have many options available to you especially since you are in NYC so you are very fortunate!
> 
> With that said, I do have a slightly different take on this situation than some others. With all due respect, I don’t think that just because you work and are outside of the house during the day that you should have to rehome your dog. There are many working families who have happy, healthy dogs and are making this lifestyle work well for them. I, myself, am in that boat. I am a single woman and I work and yes, sometimes I do have to be away from home 9-10 hours a day unfortunately…however, I have two dogs and I’d like to think they are doing pretty well. The key is that you have to be dedicated to do whatever it takes for your dog to be happy and well-adjusted, and you may have to work extra hard to make that happen in the time that you are not at work. I lived alone for two years and was really nervous about how the dogs would adjust to my work schedule but they did just fine! I’ll tell you what worked for us – first, we took a long walk in the morning and then I settled in the dogs in a safely gated puppy-proof area that had lots of toys and interactive treat toys to keep them busy, and of course puppy pads. Often I left the tv or radio on for them too. Whenever I could, I came home for lunch but that was not always possible. In the evenings, we would do a long walk again and some play time, visit with friends and other dogs, etc. A couple of nights a week, I would take them to agility/obedience classes and play dates. The weekends were spent mostly doing dog-friendly activities. All of this really helped a lot in keeping my dogs mentally and physically stimulated and therefore, not bored or anxious or panicked while left alone during the work day. With a new puppy, you just have to find what works for you – it may be a combination of what everyone has suggested. As long as you are dedicated to making this work, you can figure out a solution that both you and your puppy will be happy with - I don’t want you to feel discouraged or think that there will never be a chance of making this work just because you have a full time job.
> 
> ...


:goodpost:


Amy--I work full-time too, so I understand it's not feasible to be home all day or check in on your pup as much as I'm sure you'd like. I think it's clear you love your Tori. After just ONE DAY with Leo, I was so attached and in love that I would whole-heartedly dismiss and take offense to any suggestion that I did not love him and should rehome him.

I'm also a first time dog owner, so I know that it takes time to learn what you AND your dog are both okay with. Dogs communicate with their bodily language and actions. Here, Tori is telling you she is not okay with being in the basement for 11 hours straight. Others have given great advice about a dog walker or daycare.

Something that I also found really helpful with Leo was getting a camera so I could watch him while at work. It alleviated my fear of not knowing what he's doing, if he's okay, or even if someone broke in to steal my sweet boy! I got the Dropcam based on recommendations in this forum and am able to peek at my boy from my iPhone. If daycare isn't an option for you, the camera is a great tool to see your pup and help determine how many hours she's okay with being alone. 

For example, Leo seems to have a general sense of how long I am typically at work and I can see that he'll start getting restless if I'm not back around the usual time. So I know I need to stick to my schedule, otherwise I will take a long lunch to see and play w Leo to release some of his energy if I know I'll be later one night.

Anyway, I wish the best for you and Tori. Being a new dog owner definitely takes getting used to and time to get comfortable with what you're doing. These little malteses are small in stature, but so smart and resilient. Just find a routine and system that works for both you and Tori so that she's both physically and mentally secure when left alone.


----------



## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

Bailey&Me said:


> Hi Amy. First of all, I missed your welcome thread so wanted to say…welcome to SM and I hope you stay with us as there is lots to learn here! As you have seen, we are passionate about our beloved dogs and are eager to help new owners with questions. You have gotten some really great advice here and I hope you seriously consider looking in to the suggestions others have offered. As Anne pointed out, you have many options available to you especially since you are in NYC so you are very fortunate!
> 
> With that said, I do have a slightly different take on this situation than some others. With all due respect, I don’t think that just because you work and are outside of the house during the day that you should have to rehome your dog. There are many working families who have happy, healthy dogs and are making this lifestyle work well for them. I, myself, am in that boat. I am a single woman and I work and yes, sometimes I do have to be away from home 9-10 hours a day unfortunately…however, I have two dogs and I’d like to think they are doing pretty well. The key is that you have to be dedicated to do whatever it takes for your dog to be happy and well-adjusted, and you may have to work extra hard to make that happen in the time that you are not at work. I lived alone for two years and was really nervous about how the dogs would adjust to my work schedule but they did just fine! I’ll tell you what worked for us – first, we took a long walk in the morning and then I settled in the dogs in a safely gated puppy-proof area that had lots of toys and interactive treat toys to keep them busy, and of course puppy pads. Often I left the tv or radio on for them too. Whenever I could, I came home for lunch but that was not always possible. In the evenings, we would do a long walk again and some play time, visit with friends and other dogs, etc. A couple of nights a week, I would take them to agility/obedience classes and play dates. The weekends were spent mostly doing dog-friendly activities. All of this really helped a lot in keeping my dogs mentally and physically stimulated and therefore, not bored or anxious or panicked while left alone during the work day. With a new puppy, you just have to find what works for you – it may be a combination of what everyone has suggested. As long as you are dedicated to making this work, you can figure out a solution that both you and your puppy will be happy with - I don’t want you to feel discouraged or think that there will never be a chance of making this work just because you have a full time job.
> 
> ...


:goodpost:

Hi Amy! I want you to know that I completely understand where your coming from. When I was 24 and living in California by myself 3000 miles away from family and friends I got myself a beautiful white husky for company. I worked long days like you and I left her in a small apartment all day thinking it would be all right as long as I loved her when I got home. I did not do what was suggested here because I really didn't know any better. By the time she was 2 years old she had literally destroyed my apartment from eating up the carpet, linoleum floors, doors, chewed her paws and when I tried to enter in the evening she would growl at me with her lip up as if I was an intruder. I was scared to death of her. I did not have the means for a doggie day care or walker and thought we would work thru this and I thought she was just totally dysfunctional. She was not, she was very unhappy and anxious. What I didn't realize is that from not being there for her when she was a puppy set her up to be a very unhappy girl. When I had my daughter a few years later she tried to attack her anytime she had a chance. This is when I gave her to a client of mine who owned a large farm in San Diego and she lived happily ever after...she needed to run. I kept in touch for many years with these people and they said she was the absolute best dog they ever had, so lovable.
I'm not saying you need to re home Tori by any means, learn from my mistake, take the great advice giving here, post on the college campus for dog walkers so they can come in during the day or maybe even better, you run home for a visit. Get up early and walk her, give her quality time (I got up early and wld leave for the gym instead) and give her a safe haven to be in. I know you love her but sometimes it's not enough. If you really want her to be happy you wouldn't have asked for advice and shared your story. You will know what's right for the both you and I know you will do what's right, Good luck!


----------



## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

pippersmom said:


> Maybe this is a FINISHED basement and not a cold damp basement with just a cement floor????? I agree with everyone else that 11 hours is way to long for these dogs to be left alone. They thrive on human companionship and NEED to be with their people. Is there any way you can take her to work with you.


My sister has a finished basement that is awesome, so I hope this is the case! My biggest concern with this scenario was the dog being locked in the basement and scratching so much at the door, the paws were bloody. Eating the wood frame also can be potentially dangerous, because those wood splinters can cause damage going through the intestines. 

When I get a puppy inquiry from someone who works full time, I don't automatically think 'Oh, she/he cannot be a good puppy parent because they are gone all day and work full time' because that is just not true. But the most important thing is placing a puppy with the right temperament that can potentially handle being left alone for long periods of time, because not all maltese puppies are the same, some are more adaptable than others. 

Hope the OP can find a solution here!


----------



## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Bailey&Me said:


> Hi Amy. First of all, I missed your welcome thread so wanted to say…welcome to SM and I hope you stay with us as there is lots to learn here! As you have seen, we are passionate about our beloved dogs and are eager to help new owners with questions. You have gotten some really great advice here and I hope you seriously consider looking in to the suggestions others have offered. As Anne pointed out, you have many options available to you especially since you are in NYC so you are very fortunate!
> 
> With that said, I do have a slightly different take on this situation than some others. With all due respect, I don’t think that just because you work and are outside of the house during the day that you should have to rehome your dog. There are many working families who have happy, healthy dogs and are making this lifestyle work well for them. I, myself, am in that boat. I am a single woman and I work and yes, sometimes I do have to be away from home 9-10 hours a day unfortunately…however, I have two dogs and I’d like to think they are doing pretty well. The key is that you have to be dedicated to do whatever it takes for your dog to be happy and well-adjusted, and you may have to work extra hard to make that happen in the time that you are not at work. I lived alone for two years and was really nervous about how the dogs would adjust to my work schedule but they did just fine! I’ll tell you what worked for us – first, we took a long walk in the morning and then I settled in the dogs in a safely gated puppy-proof area that had lots of toys and interactive treat toys to keep them busy, and of course puppy pads. Often I left the tv or radio on for them too. Whenever I could, I came home for lunch but that was not always possible. In the evenings, we would do a long walk again and some play time, visit with friends and other dogs, etc. A couple of nights a week, I would take them to agility/obedience classes and play dates. The weekends were spent mostly doing dog-friendly activities. All of this really helped a lot in keeping my dogs mentally and physically stimulated and therefore, not bored or anxious or panicked while left alone during the work day. With a new puppy, you just have to find what works for you – it may be a combination of what everyone has suggested. As long as you are dedicated to making this work, you can figure out a solution that both you and your puppy will be happy with - I don’t want you to feel discouraged or think that there will never be a chance of making this work just because you have a full time job.
> 
> ...


:goodpost::goodpost:

Nida -- you said it very well. As you know, I'm in the same situation with my 3 girls as I work full time too, and it's usually about 9 hours that I'm gone. I do think this is a case where a second fluff may be needed. I do think my girls are happier because they have each other to interact with.

When Lacie was a puppy, she was in my master bathroom (large) and was gated off from the rest of the house. She had her toys, her bed/little crate house, her pee pads, her food and water. I left the TV on in the bedroom so that she had noise. She was just fine. Of course, when I wasn't at work, our life was filed with dog related activities -- walks, play, going with me whenever possible. I think she's a pretty happy fluff without any major issues, so I know it is possible.

On the other hand, I don't believe that Tilly would have thrived if she had been left alone all day. Luckily she has always had Lacie since joining our household.


----------



## BeautifulMaltese (Dec 4, 2013)

bellaratamaltese said:


> My sister has a finished basement that is awesome, so I hope this is the case! My biggest concern with this scenario was the dog being locked in the basement and scratching so much at the door, the paws were bloody. Eating the wood frame also can be potentially dangerous, because those wood splinters can cause damage going through the intestines.
> 
> When I get a puppy inquiry from someone who works full time, I don't automatically think 'Oh, she/he cannot be a good puppy parent because they are gone all day and work full time' because that is just not true. But the most important thing is placing a puppy with the right temperament that can potentially handle being left alone for long periods of time, because not all maltese puppies are the same, some are more adaptable than others.
> 
> Hope the OP can find a solution here!


I think this is what was so upsetting to me too. If Tori is scratching to the point of bleeding that's serious. So many good suggestions - I sure hope she comes back and updates us! Working fluff parents make GREAT parents, they just need to find what works :thumbsup:


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

bellaratamaltese said:


> My sister has a finished basement that is awesome, so I hope this is the case! My biggest concern with this scenario was the dog being locked in the basement and scratching so much at the door, the paws were bloody. Eating the wood frame also can be potentially dangerous, because those wood splinters can cause damage going through the intestines.
> 
> When I get a puppy inquiry from someone who works full time, I don't automatically think 'Oh, she/he cannot be a good puppy parent because they are gone all day and work full time' because that is just not true. But the most important thing is placing a puppy with the right temperament that can potentially handle being left alone for long periods of time, because not all maltese puppies are the same, some are more adaptable than others.
> 
> Hope the OP can find a solution here!


Stacy, I worried about the paws being bloody, too. And, you bring up a good point about wood splinters.

I like you explained that just because a puppy parent is working does not mean it won't work out ... and, that it's important for a breeder to place a puppy with the right temperament ... that can potentially handle being alone for long periods of time, because not all Maltese puppies are the same, and that some are more adaptable than others. 

I just PM'd Amy and encouraged her to come back. I told her that even for me ... I am always learning something new about our fluff babies ... and, Snowball is already eight years old. And, that we all care and want to help her and Tori.


----------



## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Snowball Pie's Mommi said:


> Stacy, I worried about the paws being bloody, too. And, you bring up a good point about wood splinters.
> 
> I like you explained that just because a puppy parent is working does not mean it won't work out ... and, that it's important for a breeder to place a puppy with the right temperament ... that can potentially handle being alone for long periods of time, because not all Maltese puppies are the same, and that some are more adaptable than others.
> 
> I just PM'd Amy and encouraged her to come back. I told her that even for me ... I am always learning something new about our fluff babies ... and, Snowball is already eight years old. And, that we all care and want to help her and Tori.



You're such a nice person Marie. This world needs more Marie's in it.


----------



## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Furbabies mom said:


> You're such a nice person Marie. This world needs more Marie's in it.


Agreed! :thumbsup:


----------



## mmyow (Mar 6, 2014)

oh my goodnesss....i really did not think i was going to receive that many responses, let alone harsh ones. but you know what? it really moves me... to see that people care..to know that everyone on this forum is so passionate about malteses. thank you guys for providing insight into my situation and for shining light into aspects that i did not see myself.

here is a little bit more information about my situation: yes, i am young. i am a 24 year old, young professional working in the big city. i always wanted a dog but never made the move...until 3 weeks ago, when a distant friend told me about how her mom has one left in the litter that was 7 months old. i was very hesitant but in the end made the move and purchased Tori. A week in, I realize the severity of the situation, my long work hours does not allow me enough time at home each day to commit to Tori, I thought it would be best to take her back. unfortunately..they wouldn't take her back, so thats is where i am left off. 

i can't do anything about my work schedule, i do bring her to work with me on Fridays...even tho it is one day a week it still helps. i play with Tori after work, take her for a long walk every day and and spend as much as I can on the weekends. As for the basement, it is a nice furnished basement. i am expecting to receive a crate this weekend so maybe that will help.


----------



## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

mmyow said:


> oh my goodnesss....i really did not think i was going to receive that many responses, let alone harsh ones. but you know what? it really moves me... to see that people care..to know that everyone on this forum is so passionate about malteses. thank you guys for providing insight into my situation and for shining light into aspects that i did not see myself.
> 
> here is a little bit more information about my situation: yes, i am young. i am a 24 year old, young professional working in the big city. i always wanted a dog but never made the move...until 3 weeks ago, when a distant friend told me about how her mom has one left in the litter that was 7 months old. i was very hesitant but in the end made the move and purchased Tori. A week in, I realize the severity of the situation, my long work hours does not allow me enough time at home each day to commit to Tori, I thought it would be best to take her back. unfortunately..they wouldn't take her back, so thats is where i am left off.
> 
> i can't do anything about my work schedule, i do bring her to work with me on Fridays...even tho it is one day a week it still helps. i play with Tori after work, take her for a long walk every day and and spend as much as I can on the weekends. As for the basement, it is a nice furnished basement. i am expecting to receive a crate this weekend so maybe that will help.


Amy you can do this if you're committed to it. It IS overwhelming when they are puppies. When my boys were pups, I would come home at lunch every day to spend time with them and clean up after them.

You can try a playpen. Many of the members will set one up, and inside will be a dog bed, maybe some toys, a water dish and potty pads.

I think the fact that you can bring her to work on Fridays is wonderful!  I would LOVE to be able to do that. The rest of the week do you think you might be able to do some doggy daycare, maybe even for one day a week or so, or have someone come and visit her in the day if you are unable to leave for lunch?

You have any friends who own small dogs that might puppy sit while you're at work?


----------



## BeautifulMaltese (Dec 4, 2013)

Amy, glad you came back and taking this as it was truly intended! Everyone really wants to help and there are many experienced Maltese owners here. It sounds as though you are unsure about keeping Tori? If you could find a solution to your situation, would that change things? A lot of us work, but Malts take a lot of time and attention (as most pets do). I hope you choose what's best for Tory. If it isn't the right time for you, there are many here that can help point you in the right direction to find a fantastic home for Tory!

Maltese are wonderful family members...I hope you find a way to make it work! Please keep us posted!


----------



## LovemyLucyLu (Mar 10, 2014)

Glad you are back Amy! I commend you for returning after these comments even though they are here to help you. It's tough having a puppy but the maltese is a pup that has to have their owners attention. They are the Velcro dog! I know you are trying to do the right thing and this is all new to you. Please take the advice here. It is meant to help you, not to put you down. We are looking out for the pup as well as trying to help you!!!


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

mmyow said:


> oh my goodnesss....i really did not think i was going to receive that many responses, let alone harsh ones. but you know what? it really moves me... to see that people care..to know that everyone on this forum is so passionate about malteses. thank you guys for providing insight into my situation and for shining light into aspects that i did not see myself.
> 
> here is a little bit more information about my situation: yes, i am young. i am a 24 year old, young professional working in the big city. i always wanted a dog but never made the move...until 3 weeks ago, when a distant friend told me about how her mom has one left in the litter that was 7 months old. i was very hesitant but in the end made the move and purchased Tori. A week in, I realize the severity of the situation, my long work hours does not allow me enough time at home each day to commit to Tori, I thought it would be best to take her back. unfortunately..they wouldn't take her back, so thats is where i am left off.
> 
> i can't do anything about my work schedule, i do bring her to work with me on Fridays...even tho it is one day a week it still helps. i play with Tori after work, take her for a long walk every day and and spend as much as I can on the weekends. As for the basement, it is a nice furnished basement. i am expecting to receive a crate this weekend so maybe that will help.


Amy, I am so glad you are back. Yes, 24 years of age is young. However, you sound very mature for your age. You have accepted some pretty strong criticism, and with grace. And, you didn't run away. Instead, it sounds to me like you are reaching out for help to do what is best for you and Tori. 

There are many wonderful people here on SM who can help guide you in the right direction with great advice, feedback, and support. 

Warm hugs for you and sweet Tori.


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

I, too, commend you for staying the course with us Amy! The big question now is IF you are committed enough to do what you need to do to make this work, and IF you are not able to make that commitment, are you willing to sign her over to a place (person) who presently has the time to love & care for her as she needs? 
I have made decisions in the past that I wish I could reverse for whatever reasons, and I know most of us have---and no one will fault you for that! 
A couple of these posts had some very practical ideas, all requiring time & commitment, but if you know you can't manage it now would be the time to re-home your girl. Again, free from judgement. 
My daughter once got a rescue when she was working on her Ph.D. and although I thought it not to be her wisest decision, she made it work. That & her Ph.D is ALL that she did for some years!
Please think it over and let us know how we can help. We truly want the best for both of you. Sending you gentle hugs!


----------



## SA_GC (Oct 14, 2013)

Hi Amy. Glad to see you're still here!! I know everyone on SM only wants to help you. I can only imagine how you're feeling. A new puppy is overwhelming even when the circumstances are "perfect". My Sugar is 7 months old now too. I have had her since about 10 weeks of age and those first 2 to 3 months were a mixture of bliss and love for a new puppy and frustration and self doubt and all sorts of conflicting emotions. I questioned my decision to have a dog continually. And that's after very careful and thorough research first - from a so called mature and resposible 43 year old!

The kind people on SM will definitely help you, whether it be to find solutions that allow you to keep Tori or find a more suitable home for her. But I do believe it is possible for you to keep her. This will probably require dedication and commitment, especially in the beginning, as I do believe it will get easier as Tori grows.

We all wish only the best for you and Tori. Rest assured that you came to the right place for help.


----------



## Fee (Oct 26, 2013)

My pup is also 8-months-old now and he has a bad case of SA. When I say bad, I mean really bad. But! It was worse... he still panics after I leave him alone, but when I compare it with 2 months ago, it got a bit better. I really hope you will get through this with your pup, best of luck! Don´t give up!


----------



## Piccolina (Dec 25, 2009)

T.........Too little to be left alone for 11 hours :hiding:

O.........Oh, she is so sad to not have someone to hug her for 11 hours:crying 2:

R.........Real good idea is to find her a good home before you get too attached to her:hump:

I..........In my opinion, you have many years ahead and will have other opportunities to have another pupp at the right time.:yes:



Please find her a good homerayer:





*


----------



## ladodd (Jan 8, 2012)

Amy, I also commend you for coming back as we can sometimes come across as harsh, but it is because we are passionate about this breed. Maltese are very loving dogs and require a lot of attention. I also work outside the home, but I am fortunate to have a dh that works a different schedule and he's able to pop in on the pups during the day. I do have three and think that it does help for them to have each other. I am not suggesting that you go get another. I feel bad for Tori being in the basement, as it sounds like she associates it with something bad. My first thought is if you love her enough that you need to let her go to someone that has more time for her(sorry). But, you do have many years ahead of you to enjoy a pup in the future. If you decide to keep her, an xpen really sounds like the way to go. Set it up in the room that you spend the most time with her. Give her a soft bed, toys, potty pad. I hope you make the best decision for Tori even if it's not what you want. We will be here to support you.


----------

