# Remembering My Mom and My Trevor...



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

This is a difficult weekend for me to say the least. Yesterday, I memorialized my mom on her Birthday. She would have been 76 and I can't believe that July 17 will be 3 years that she's gone. I miss her everyday and there's an empty feeling that I carry around with with me. My dad died suddenly in 2007. I'm just too young to not have parents and it's an inexplicable feeling--a void of loneliness and being unsettled. There was so much left to say, so much left to share.

Carole Dankner 5/2/1939-7/17/2012

My Trevor, my "beautiful boy." The most difficult day in my life was 2 years ago today-5/3/2013 when the doctor said, "we can keep treating him and you could spend thousands of dollars, but he's not going to get better. We need to put him to sleep." I cried to the doctor and said, "I can't kill my baby, I just can't." He explained that the wonderful thing about veterinary medicine is that it allows us to become selfless. 

Trevor was my whole life. We had a unique and strong bond that was recognized by all--his doctors, friends, family, strangers, and a trainer--who said he has never seen such a bond between a dog and his owner. In the 17 years that I was blessed to have him in my life, we went through so many life changing events together: the death of my grandmother, best friend, and parents, several moves, including getting evicted from a NYC apartment because they didn't want him in the building--after I got permission, moving to California, meeting his dad, and so much more. He was always my rock during the difficult times and my cheerleader during the happy times. My little protector, my greatest love.

In the end, I held him tight. I swore I'd never leave him as he never wanted to be without me and I never left him--he came with me everywhere. I sang to him "our songs" and I told him as I always did that I loved him more than the earth, the sun, the blue sky and everything else in the whole world.

I love you Bunny. I miss you every day xoxoxo

Trevor Dankner: 3/13/1996-5/3/2013

For mom and Trevor:

There's little joy in life for me,
And little terror in the grave;
I've lived the parting hour to see
Of one I would have died to save.

Calmly to watch the failing breath,
Wishing each sigh might be the last;
Longing to see the shade of death
O'er those belovèd features cast.

The cloud, the stillness that must part
The darling of my life from me;
And then to thank God from my heart,
To thank Him well and fervently;

Although I knew that we had lost
The hope and glory of our life;
And now, benighted, tempest-tossed,
Must bear alone the weary strife. 

--Charlotte Bronte


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Kim - I'm so very sorry for your losses. It sounds like you've had so much to go through in your young life but yet you're here to stand testament to the wonderful people and dog in your life. What a beautiful tribute to your mother and Trevor that you wrote here. <3 
I lost my dad when I was 6 and never felt like life was normal like it was for other people with two parents. I think that's changed for this generation and various options but when he passed my mom was my world, even though I became married and had a child; my mom and I were so close and her loss was felt all the time. But she's been gone now 16 years in July and I treasure the time we had, the lessons she taught me and I still hear her sage advice. I'm sure your mom knew how much you loved her and that's all she needed to make her life complete. Keep listening for her words of wisdom in your life.
And Trevor -- he sounds like the luckiest guy to have you as his mom. What great times you had together going everywhere and doing everything! And I know he was always there in your saddest moments as well to let you hug him and even cry with him. Seventeen years is amazing but it's never enough. But you were there for him when he needed you the most...when it was time for him to go and leave the pain behind. You gave him what he couldn't do for himself...permission to go leave your side because that's what HE needed. He will always be in your heart and in your thoughts.
I hope you can use this weekend to make new memories with Tyler. He'll never take Trevor's place but he will reside in another part of your heart. Sending you lots of hugs. :grouphug:


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Kim, yesterday would also have been my mom's birthday and I thought about her all day! We are who we are in life often by how we were mothered. It sounds like we both have a wealth that we owe to our moms. My mom died at 51---she lost my dad when she was only 49. He died at 56, way too young. I think what I missed in quantity I had in quality---and for that I thank God. 
I am glad you had such a special bond w/your mom, and w/Trevor. Not everyone can say that, so you are quite blessed. Your heart has now expanded to fit in a new pup and so the circle grows bigger & bigger. I wish you much happiness on your onward journey together!


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Susan,

Thanks so much for your beautiful, beautiful note--it brought me to tears.

I can't imagine your loss at 6--the confusion, the void of having 2 parents, etc. I'm so glad that you and your mom had such a great relationship. Mine was mixed, but we, too, were very close--she was my world too. I do listen to her words of wisdom and when I have to make a decision I always think about what she would say. When something great happens, I always say, I wish I could tell mom, she'd be so happy." I think I'll always feel this way.

With Trevor, it's been really tough, like it was yesterday--it's a profound loss. In the 17 years I was apart from him 5 nights. Once for a work trip, once for my dad's funeral, once for my mom's, once he had bladder stones removed, and the night before we had to put him to sleep. I have a trainer for Tyler and she said, "Kim you have to move that b picture in your room. Going to bed and waking up seeing him is not helpful. Susan, I can't tell you how hard it will be for me to move it, though I know I should.

Tyler is completely different than Trevor, so making new memories is not too difficult--there's nothing to compare. Today, we'll go to Trevor's favorite place, Franklin Canyon Park. They have a duck pond--Trevor used to love to watch the ducks and bark at them. I've brought Tyler there before, he doesn't care about the ducks, but loves walking around there--or being carried. I'm also going to make pumpkin whole wheat pancakes, which were Trevor's absolute favorite. He used to wait impatiently for them to cook and run in circles. While at the park, maybe I can find a Tyler spot and start those memories.

Hugs and kisses back at you.

xoxoxoox 



Snowbody said:


> Kim - I'm so very sorry for your losses. It sounds like you've had so much to go through in your young life but yet you're here to stand testament to the wonderful people and dog in your life. What a beautiful tribute to your mother and Trevor that you wrote here. <3
> I lost my dad when I was 6 and never felt like life was normal like it was for other people with two parents. I think that's changed for this generation and various options but when he passed my mom was my world, even though I became married and had a child; my mom and I were so close and her loss was felt all the time. But she's been gone now 16 years in July and I treasure the time we had, the lessons she taught me and I still hear her sage advice. I'm sure your mom knew how much you loved her and that's all she needed to make her life complete. Keep listening for her words of wisdom in your life.
> And Trevor -- he sounds like the luckiest guy to have you as his mom. What great times you had together going everywhere and doing everything! And I know he was always there in your saddest moments as well to let you hug him and even cry with him. Seventeen years is amazing but it's never enough. But you were there for him when he needed you the most...when it was time for him to go and leave the pain behind. You gave him what he couldn't do for himself...permission to go leave your side because that's what HE needed. He will always be in your heart and in your thoughts.
> I hope you can use this weekend to make new memories with Tyler. He'll never take Trevor's place but he will reside in another part of your heart. Sending you lots of hugs. :grouphug:


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sandi,

It sounds like we both had a day of remembrance for our special moms. That is very young as were mine really--that part is scary too.

Yes, the circle grows because it has to grow. For me, I have so much love to give, which is why I wanted to bring Tyler into my life. Our journey, of course, will be different than with Trevor, but I know it will be happy and most importantly, filled with love.

xoxoxo



edelweiss said:


> Kim, yesterday would also have been my mom's birthday and I thought about her all day! We are who we are in life often by how we were mothered. It sounds like we both have a wealth that we owe to our moms. My mom died at 51---she lost my dad when she was only 49. He died at 56, way too young. I think what I missed in quantity I had in quality---and for that I thank God.
> I am glad you had such a special bond w/your mom, and w/Trevor. Not everyone can say that, so you are quite blessed. Your heart has now expanded to fit in a new pup and so the circle grows bigger & bigger. I wish you much happiness on your onward journey together!


----------



## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Kim,

The loss of your parents and your dear sweet Trevor were difficult days in your life. But, you write with such love and caring for them. Their passing brought a deep ache to your heart. But the wonderful thing about the heart is that it heals. We should never forget those who have left us but our hearts allow us to replace the pain of loss with joyful memories of how wonderful they were and how they effected our lives. 

I think memorializing them is truly a very loving act and allows you to express how deeply you love them.

We all come from different religious and cultural traditions. I believe that it is only from sadness and loss helps us to understand what it is like to be happy. In experiencing pain can we later better understand and accept joy when it comes into our lives. 

I am just now looking out the window and noticing the the trees are starting to green up, their leaves are springing forward. It focuses me on the fact that are lives are filled with cycles - some dark and others light. As the emptiness of winter gives way to the vibrancy of spring, so too does our hearts fill with the joys that we encounter in our everyday lives. 

Hold Tyler extra tight and focus for just a minute on how wonderful he is making your life as wonderful as it is then think about similar moments you felt that way with Trevor and mom and dad. (BTW, the picture of your mom exudes warmth.)


----------



## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I'm so sorry, to loose two loved ones so close together... even harder when one you have to make the final decision.. They're both together in heaven, watching over you..


----------



## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Kim, bless your heart! Loss takes time time to grieve, time to heal, and time to rebuild. And anniversaries and birthdays are the hardest. But know that our loved ones do not want us to grieve forever, but to heal and be able to smile about the funny and wonderful things. Blessings girl!


----------



## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

It's hard to lose the ones we love. I've lost several pets that I thought I'd never get over . I lost my brother 7 years ago, and my son in law 6 years ago. 
God gives us the strength to carry on. I can remember now with happy memories . Hope that you find comfort in the memories of your beautiful mom and your sweet Trevor.


----------



## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Aww your Mom was beautiful and of course I remember Trevor's photo. I'm so sorry you've had such heartache and loss. I'm glad you had Trevor for such a long time to help you get through it all and be at your side, I would imagine that looking at his photo and having it close brings you comfort too. I also had my cat Lily for 17 years and when you look back at photos you realize just how long that is and every occasion they shared with us, it's wonderful. Thanks for sharing your lovely tribute, and maybe it help you feel better talking about them and knowing we care.


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Walter. Your words are beautiful as your thoughts and very true as well!

It's super hard and I have to say weird, but also, unfortunately, part of life.

My mom was very warm--very affectionate. My dad doted on me, I was definitely daddy's little girl--also the youngest. My ability to love deeply definitely comes from them!

BTW, after our memorial service to Trevor at Trevor's favorite place today, I did hold Tyler extra tight!

xo
Kim 



wkomorow said:


> Kim,
> 
> The loss of your parents and your dear sweet Trevor were difficult days in your life. But, you write with such love and caring for them. Their passing brought a deep ache to your heart. But the wonderful thing about the heart is that it heals. We should never forget those who have left us but our hearts allow us to replace the pain of loss with joyful memories of how wonderful they were and how they effected our lives.
> 
> ...


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Michelle. I think that's a small part of why I continue to grieve. My mom was sick, Trevor was starting to get different ailments. I was scared all the time for 2 1/2 years. Then, my mom died, Trevor seemed to get worse and then he had to go--less than a year after my mom. And my dad just 5 years earlier and my best friend in 2003. So much loss and so much pain over the course of what really wasn't very many years. I hope that they all are in a better place and I do hope that they know how much they are loved and missed. And how much they mean to me.



michellerobison said:


> I'm so sorry, to loose two loved ones so close together... even harder when one you have to make the final decision.. They're both together in heaven, watching over you..


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Sherry. It definitely is taking time. I know my mom would want me to be happy!

xoxo...



sherry said:


> Kim, bless your heart! Loss takes time time to grieve, time to heal, and time to rebuild. And anniversaries and birthdays are the hardest. But know that our loved ones do not want us to grieve forever, but to heal and be able to smile about the funny and wonderful things. Blessings girl!


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks so much Deborah. I'm definitely working on trying to find the comfort in the happy memories--it's hard though!



Furbabies mom said:


> It's hard to lose the ones we love. I've lost several pets that I thought I'd never get over . I lost my brother 7 years ago, and my son in law 6 years ago.
> God gives us the strength to carry on. I can remember now with happy memories . Hope that you find comfort in the memories of your beautiful mom and your sweet Trevor.


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Brenda. You are right-17 years brings a lot of memories. As a matter of fact, today we talked about our favorite things about Trevor--there were so many special ones and special memories. Knowing that you guys understand, have had this experience, and care, as well as share your beautiful words of wisdom helps me so much during this time. I'm definitely grateful for all of you--to have such great friends in my life!



Maglily said:


> Aww your Mom was beautiful and of course I remember Trevor's photo. I'm so sorry you've had such heartache and loss. I'm glad you had Trevor for such a long time to help you get through it all and be at your side, I would imagine that looking at his photo and having it close brings you comfort too. I also had my cat Lily for 17 years and when you look back at photos you realize just how long that is and every occasion they shared with us, it's wonderful. Thanks for sharing your lovely tribute, and maybe it help you feel better talking about them and knowing we care.


----------



## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Kim,sweet lady,I am so sorry that I haven't the words to reply. All I can say is that I share your heartache....we all do. If we live long enough, we must all suffer this pain. But, we must. The only way out, is to leave the world ahead of our beloved parents, causing them the most excruciating pain. It hurts like ****, but it is the natural course of events. :grouphug: I lost my mother when she was much younger than I am now, I lost my father eight years before he died. Life hurts.


----------



## MalteseObsessed (Mar 7, 2010)

Kim ~~~ sending your hugs. I totally understand what tough weeks are like. I want you to know.

Lifting up thoughts and hugs for you!!!


----------



## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

Kim, I am so very sorry for the pain and the loss that you are feeling.
I love that you are celebrating Trevor's live by doing all of his favorite things.
I hope that each anniversary also brings you some feeling of happiness in remembering all of the good times.
Thinking of you, and hoping that despite your sadness you are able to feel the comfort of all of the love that your Mom and Trevor had for you. :grouphug:


----------



## Pooh's mommy (Aug 31, 2014)

kd1212 said:


> Thanks Brenda. You are right-17 years brings a lot of memories. As a matter of fact, today we talked about our favorite things about Trevor--there were so many special ones and special memories. Knowing that you guys understand, have had this experience, and care, as well as share your beautiful words of wisdom helps me so much during this time. I'm definitely grateful for all of you--to have such great friends in my life!


Kim, I am just now seeing this and wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you :wub:
I am so sorry that you have suffered such profound loss of so many that were so close to you. I can tell the love that you shared with them through your words...that it was deep and true.
I think that you are beginning to heal by the way that you express your memories of Trevor and the special times that you two shared. Keep remembering the good times...17 years is truly a blessing...although they never stay with us as long as we would like...that would be forever and not possible:crying:

Your Mom was a beautiful lady. 
It is so hard to lose a parent. I lost my mother just before my 19th birthday. It has been a long time ago now....and some days it seems like yesterday.
I grieved for a very long time and suffered because of the many things that I would not experience with a mother ...that others got to experience. It was hard to watch other girls with their mothers as adults. She would not be there when I got married or to see her grandchildren born. We missed so much. But then God has a way of opening windows when doors are shut and I got to experience all that I have missed by being blessed with children and I could watch them grow. I did not have a mother....but I could be the very best one to my children.
When people say that it will get easier....I have found that to be untrue. It does not get easier. It will from here on out always be different. You just learn to go on and it makes you stronger and you learn from it and it makes you who you are. You learn to be happy again and there will be sad days also. You can always tell the depth of your love for someone by the depth of the hurt. It is evident that you loved them with All your heart :wub: 
You are a strong woman and you love deeply... that is a gift. There are many that never know that kind of love. You have known it many times and with your big heart you will know it even more.

*Sorry for the long post* :w00t: Just wanted you to know that I care and understand. :wub:
Now go share some of that love with your cuddle bug, Tyler :wub:
I believe that he is with you for a reason and will help you heal.
Be the best Mommie you can be. You had a great teacher!


(((((((Great Big Hugs))))))))


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Cindy, such beautiful words of wisdom here and so spot on about it not getting easier just different. That's how I feel--things are different. I've been using the word "weird" because I can't describe the feeling. 

I'm so sorry about losing your mom at such a critical age/time of your life. I know exactly what you mean by looking at other mothers and their daughters--I feel that way and I actually feel that way when I see Chihuahuas. I'm reminded of my losses. You, too are a loving person with a big heart--you're right, there are some that don't have the ability to really, really open their hearts.

Everyone is telling me to focus on the good times, so that's what I've been trying to do--including focusing on the present--my little Tyler--not that he'd be neglected while I'm sad--he's still the King of the house! I have a tendency to remember the bad and the morbid, so focusing on happy and good is a bit difficult, but each time I go to the dark place lately, I say stop. I have you and the other beautiful friends I have here to thank for this work in progress thought process.

There are several people in my life--including my boyfriend--who don't understand, so having the understanding and caring of my friends here and honestly just one friend outside of SM who does understand means so much to me. 

Thanks so much for being here for me 

xoxox...

Kim



Pooh's mommy said:


> Kim, I am just now seeing this and wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you :wub:
> I am so sorry that you have suffered such profound loss of so many that were so close to you. I can tell the love that you shared with them through your words...that it was deep and true.
> I think that you are beginning to heal by the way that you express your memories of Trevor and the special times that you two shared. Keep remembering the good times...17 years is truly a blessing...although they never stay with us as long as we would like...that would be forever and not possible:crying:
> 
> ...


----------



## Pooh's mommy (Aug 31, 2014)

kd1212 said:


> Cindy, such beautiful words of wisdom here and so spot on about it not getting easier just different. That's how I feel--things are different. I've been using the word "weird" because I can't describe the feeling.
> 
> I'm so sorry about losing your mom at such a critical age/time of your life. I know exactly what you mean by looking at other mothers and their daughters--I feel that way and I actually feel that way when I see Chihuahuas. I'm reminded of my losses. You, too are a loving person with a big heart--you're right, there are some that don't have the ability to really, really open their hearts.
> 
> ...


:wub: :wub::wub: 
Just take it one day at a time that is all you can do.
Your new word is now "different" (replacing weird :wub

I try to understand when people don't "get it" it is usually because they are the ones that have not experienced a profound loss. They really are the lucky ones....but it eventually happens to all if they live long enough and feel deeply for someone. So be easy on them...you are just wiser for your age than life has called on them to be.

The ability to empathize with someone means that you DO understand on a personal level and have been there yourself. It can be a dark place but I promise that over time the dark times will get fewer and fewer if you just look for the good times and the sweet memories.
When you are lonely and sad it helps me to remember that everything happens for a reason...we may never fully understand all the reasons...but you are here to make a difference in someone's life... just like your Mom and Trevor were here to make a difference in your life. It is a never ending cycle of love :wub:
You are a better person for having known them and someone somewhere will benefit from your experience and will be a better person for having known You! Isn't that what we are really all here for...
to live, love and learn until we make it to a better place. :wub:

They say that is why dogs don't live as long as humans. It does not take them as long to get it...They automatically love unconditionally and don't judge and are forgiving loving creatures...Pure angels in disquise :innocent:

You can do this...be strong :smootch:


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

LOL--yes, my new word is "different."

I also try to understand, but I think that those who don't understand should try to be sympathetic and compassionate. Not everyone is that way though I guess.

I think like you do--that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes with these tragedies, I don't know what the reason is. With Trevor at 17, it was part of the circle of life (although I wish he could have hung on longer), but my friends and parents, I still am looking for the reason. But, you are right--they both made a significant difference in my life and taught me so much about love, which I can give and teach to others. It is a never ending cycle of love:wub:

I'm working on the strong part--I'm told that I am, but I don't feel that way!

Thanks again for everything:wub:



Pooh's mommy said:


> :wub: :wub::wub:
> Just take it one day at a time that is all you can do.
> Your new word is now "different" (replacing weird :wub
> 
> ...


----------



## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I can't begin to understand the loss of a mother or parent but I do empathize because I see the heartache of some friends (my gf lost her mother when she was 25 and I can see her heartache and longing for her mother still all these years later) and my mother over the loss that she has had with her father and some of her siblings (who were all younger than her, in their 60's). She said the other night "we will never understand why some things happen". I guess that is true. To relate to this one of my friends has a practice which includes kind of self help meetings and classes, I remember once hearing " just let yourself feel" whatever it is you feel....in other words, don't bottle up your feelings. I think they meant too, also move too. Actually I forget the exact words but I think that's the message they meant. Well I'm not the best at expressing myself but I do think that when you feel bad, let yourself feel it, let it out. You'll feel better and some of that heaviness will lift so you can move forward. Hope this helps a little.


----------



## jane and addison (Nov 1, 2012)

We are your parents ages ( in our 70's ). I wish I could offer our shoulders to cry on when you need one but it is a long way from California to Ohio. My wife lost her Mother the beginning of October in 1998 and her Sister on the 31th of October of the same year, she still gets very sad in October. Things do get better we must all push forward, but remember all the good times and smile. Hugs


----------



## glo77 (Feb 10, 2015)

Folks have all expressed so well their words of comfort at your loss. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words but so many of us know the feelings you are dealing with. For me May 4 was the birthday of my late husband's death. I was widowed at age 50 and always felt i was too young to be widowed. In July of the same year I lost my dad and in August I lost my mom. That was several years ago now but of course I still miss them all deeply in my life. I had a little buddy named Dex to walk me through that pain. His photo is my avatar. He went blind at age 12, deaf at age 15 and I had to put him down at age 16, It will be a yr ago now come this June. Patches lies here at my side. I have had her for 1 month. She is very different but is already honestly very loved. Her name is about Patching up the holes for both of us. She lived her first 8 yrs as a breeder in a kennel. She is free now and learning a whole new life. I too am learning a whole new life with her. God bless you with a sense of His peace today. Hug the sweet baby who lies by your side now and cherish in your heart those who have left and taken a piece of it with them.


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Brenda,

I think that one of the greatest gift that a person can have is to try to understand how someone else is feeling and be sensitive to their feelings. You definitely have that gift. You and everyone else's support, care and words of wisdom have really helped!

xo
Kim



Maglily said:


> I can't begin to understand the loss of a mother or parent but I do empathize because I see the heartache of some friends (my gf lost her mother when she was 25 and I can see her heartache and longing for her mother still all these years later) and my mother over the loss that she has had with her father and some of her siblings (who were all younger than her, in their 60's). She said the other night "we will never understand why some things happen". I guess that is true. To relate to this one of my friends has a practice which includes kind of self help meetings and classes, I remember once hearing " just let yourself feel" whatever it is you feel....in other words, don't bottle up your feelings. I think they meant too, also move too. Actually I forget the exact words but I think that's the message they meant. Well I'm not the best at expressing myself but I do think that when you feel bad, let yourself feel it, let it out. You'll feel better and some of that heaviness will lift so you can move forward. Hope this helps a little.


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

A shoulder would be great--I'll take it and the hugs virtually! So sorry about her back to back loses.  That's how I feel about Trevor and my mom--although it wasn't the same month. I think Cindy really said it best--life will forever be different. I know I'll always be sad. When I was 14 my best friend died in a stupid car accident. He was an older boy--17 and riding on top of a car--drunk. It was an extremely traumatic experience for me. I still think of him often and get sad--even cry. I have had a lot of loss and I'm now really going to try to focus on the happy times and try to not be so sad.





jane and addison said:


> We are your parents ages ( in our 70's ). I wish I could offer our shoulders to cry on when you need one but it is a long way from California to Ohio. My wife lost her Mother the beginning of October in 1998 and her Sister on the 31th of October of the same year, she still gets very sad in October. Things do get better we must all push forward, but remember all the good times and smile. Hugs


----------



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Glo, so sorry for what you endured as well. That all must have been so difficult. I hope that the words of wisdom here have helped you too. They really have helped me quite a lot. I really don't have anyone to talk to about this that truly understands--or even sympathizes, so I'm extremely grateful.



glo77 said:


> Folks have all expressed so well their words of comfort at your loss. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words but so many of us know the feelings you are dealing with. For me May 4 was the birthday of my late husband's death. I was widowed at age 50 and always felt i was too young to be widowed. In July of the same year I lost my dad and in August I lost my mom. That was several years ago now but of course I still miss them all deeply in my life. I had a little buddy named Dex to walk me through that pain. His photo is my avatar. He went blind at age 12, deaf at age 15 and I had to put him down at age 16, It will be a yr ago now come this June. Patches lies here at my side. I have had her for 1 month. She is very different but is already honestly very loved. Her name is about Patching up the holes for both of us. She lived her first 8 yrs as a breeder in a kennel. She is free now and learning a whole new life. I too am learning a whole new life with her. God bless you with a sense of His peace today. Hug the sweet baby who lies by your side now and cherish in your heart those who have left and taken a piece of it with them.


----------

