# Recent treatment of a new member



## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

I wanted to go on the record here with respect to what occurred a few minutes ago with respect to the treatment of a new member who is getting a pup from what we believe is a BYB.

I know how you all feel about what was happening and I am sympathetic to what you were trying to do. I think I can best make my point by allowing me to tell you a short story:

My Max and Rocky came from a "breeder" every bit as bad... actually, worse because they literally came from the back of a pick up truck which had driven out here from the midwest. Many of you have heard the story before and I'll not repeat it again right now. We had some awareness at the time of BYB and we actually had a "plan" to avoid getting sucked into such a situation... but indeed, we were sucked in anyway and bought from what may be one of the worst breeders in the US.

With what I learned on that "other" board and here, we will certainly never get drawn into such a situation again. However, I supported a back yard breeder and indeed, once of the worst around. And for those of you that do not know, this is the reason that I am so active as I am in rescue today. It is literally because I learned something and I guess I will spend the rest of my life trying to make amends.

So would those of you which got a little over heated say those same things to me as you did to this new member? If you would not, why? I did exactly the same thing.

Please think long and hard if it might be possible that you could actually have a larger impact on things if you attempted to be a little nicer and have a little more understanding toward new members. You don't have to like what they did, but calling them names or referring to them as trolls isn't likely to help either. I will add that if I had been treated the same way this new member was, it is very probably that I would not be involved in rescue today.

So please think a little before you start calling other members names in the future. Heck... if it takes a little guilt to get new foster homes, its fine by me!! LOL!!

Stephen Moore


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

hi steve. i'm not exactly sure what had happened a few minutes ago... but i don't believe i said anything i haven't said before in posts. i did say "greeder" instead of "breeder" as that's what they're known to be. other than that, i just rehashed my experience with massimo and expressed my sadness over great advice not taken.

i do believe i would have said the same to you...if you were in the market for a pup and bought from greeder instead of heeding the advice offered to you.

i also bought from a BYB, but out of sheer ignorance. if i knew better, i definitely wouldn't have. especially with the wealth of information that is offered on this site. it's just too bad i didn't find this place until after i adopted massimo. but having him, loving him and caring for him has taught me so much. and it wouldn't be fair of me to NOT try to help educate others about what can happen if you buy from a non-reputable source. 

now, back to you...lol. you know what you did was wrong. and you're out there trying to make a difference. so kudos to you.

thanks for listening. =]


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## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

QUOTE (Carrie @ Dec 14 2008, 12:57 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689227


> i do believe i would have said the same to you[/B]



I believe you!! LOL!!


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Very well said. And I personally apologize to all and any, if anything I contributed caused any upset on either end.

My babies and I have been shown so much love and concern...and I love you all for it.....furever!


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 02:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689221


> So would those of you which got a little over heated say those same things to me as you did to this new member? If you would not, why? I did exactly the same thing.[/B]


Yes I would, Steve. Especially if, after already given information, from 8-months ago. 

And yes, things do get a bit more heated, when someone PM's me, telling me to F*** off. 

Don't worry. I have nothing more to say. Nor, will I apologize. 

No need to ban me. I will move on.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

QUOTE (3Maltmom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:16 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689237


> QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 02:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689221





> So would those of you which got a little over heated say those same things to me as you did to this new member? If you would not, why? I did exactly the same thing.[/B]


Yes I would, Steve. Especially if, after already given information, from 8-months ago. 

And yes, things do get a bit more heated, when someone PM's me, telling me to F*** off. 

Don't worry. I have nothing more to say. Nor, will I apologize. 

No need to ban me. I will move on.
[/B][/QUOTE]


No Deb please....You are so loved...it wasn't directed at you, it just seemed a reminder to all of us, as a family.
Love you Deb!


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

QUOTE (3Maltmom @ Dec 14 2008, 02:16 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689237


> QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 02:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689221





> So would those of you which got a little over heated say those same things to me as you did to this new member? If you would not, why? I did exactly the same thing.[/B]


Yes I would, Steve. Especially if, after already given information, from 8-months ago. 

And yes, things do get a bit more heated, when someone PM's me, telling me to F*** off. 

Don't worry. I have nothing more to say. Nor, will I apologize. 

No need to ban me. I will move on.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Deb, I missed out on a lot of the drama, but if you move on you will most likely be dragged back here kicking and screaming - you belong here. :grouphug: 

Linda


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 03:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689229


> QUOTE (Carrie @ Dec 14 2008, 12:57 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689227





> i do believe i would have said the same to you[/B]


I believe you!! LOL!! 
[/B][/QUOTE]
:blush: 

QUOTE (3Maltmom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:16 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689237


> Don't worry. I have nothing more to say. Nor, will I apologize.
> 
> No need to ban me. I will move on.[/B]


move on to where? no one will love you like we do. :hugging:


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

Deb, don't go anywhere! I'll come hunt you down and drag you back.


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Thanks for that nice post Steve, when you got Rocky, you didn't have a great website to come to and ask questions, you were not given warnings and really really great advice .. *you were not warned ... *now this is where the difference is.

EDIT: Geez I go to wait on a customer and come back to this - Deb - it was not aimed at you - you're not going anywhere Girlfriend ..

I love you and you're stuck here with your 8 babies - YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN THIS MATTER ..


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## dwerten (Oct 6, 2007)

I missed this whole thing but I wish i was warned as i have a pet store pup and byb pup with health issues and a rescue demi -- I really wish i knew of these groups before but the reason i am here is because of my babies as i wanted to educate myself as much as i could and also to try to help others as well with what i have experienced with mine and learned. 

Deb hang in there gf you are the best not sure what happened but I really enjoy reading your posts on here so I hope you do not go anywhere as you are a great asset to this group.


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## domino_angel (Apr 17, 2008)

I think by "move on" she means drop the subject....not leave the forum.  At least, I hope that's what she means.


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

I love you Deb~~~You had better not go anywhere!!!! We could not get along without you on this forum!!! I'm just saying I am glad I did not get a pm like that~~~~


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## wolfieinthehouse (Dec 14, 2007)

I stayed out of it and was a bystander.

I will step out of my seat to say:

"My observation was that someone asked for good guidance and advice on finding a healthy, well bred dog and then didn't take all the detailed advice."

Off to bystand again.


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## dwerten (Oct 6, 2007)

well the sad part about that is they will pay the price dearly as i have in 20k worth of vet bills  you will pay one way or the other sadly -- I learned my lesson the hard way as I did not know any better as never knew about groups and these are my first dogs- the other sad part are the mom and dad left behind in the puppy mill if that is where this person got their dog not sure. 

I can see why deb is passionate as many unhealthy dogs end up in rescue as people cannot afford to care for them as it does become very costly if you do not do your homework up front -wish I did but luckily I can care for them but many people cannot and then deb ends up with them. 

All we can do is give others advice and if they do not take it then we did our best to forewarn them of what the potential outcome could be sadly  


QUOTE (wolfieinthehouse @ Dec 14 2008, 03:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689253


> I stayed out of it and was a bystander.
> 
> I will step out of my seat to say:
> 
> ...


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

I think this has been given enough attention. I say we all move on. We can only try to steer people in the right direction, if they don't want to follow those directions then I vote that you block that person so you don't have to read anything they say. That's what I'm doing. :thumbsup:


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

QUOTE (mimi2 @ Dec 14 2008, 04:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689262


> I think this has been given enough attention. I say we all move on. We can only try to steer people in the right direction, if they don't want to follow those directions then I vote that you block that person so you don't have to read anything they say. That's what I'm doing. :thumbsup:[/B]


[attachment=45485:goodpost.gif]

I love the "Ignore User" function! 

I'm off to my control panel...... :biggrin:


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

QUOTE (domino_angel @ Dec 14 2008, 03:44 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689248


> I think by "move on" she means drop the subject....not leave the forum.  At least, I hope that's what she means.[/B]


yes, thats what she meant, but i have to admit, i read it the wrong way and freaked out myself

QUOTE (CeeCee's Mom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689251


> I love you Deb~~~You had better not go anywhere!!!! We could not get along without you on this forum!!! I'm just saying I am glad I did not get a pm like that~~~~[/B]


i was unaware of the PM until now and i wont tolerate that either, it has been addressed

I know everyone here can handle themselves but if there is a thread, post, or PM that is suspicious, breaks the rules or is getting out of hand, please please please let me, sher or the mod team know so we can check it out, thats what we're here for :biggrin:


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

I would be very perplexed :huh: by someone who asked for a lot of advice about buying from a BYB & then did a 180 degree turn & did it anyway. Whatever the reason's this individual did what they did, I just hope that little one got a good home & will be well taken care of.

Obviously this person is very new to this forum, or they would not have set themselves up for so much criticism. Anyone that has been on here very long, knows how dedicated this group is to the breed & has the breeds best interest at heart. 

If I didn't know any better, I would think we have been had as I never saw one response (at least from the last time I read it) from he person that posted they bought that pup. Makes me wonder if they didn't just light a fire to see how long it would burn! :exploding: 

Steve, I thought your heart was in the right place in your post...but again...I think you know you were ready to be whipped! :beating a dead horse: 

I appreciate all that the Rescue people (Deb/Steve) are doing to help these precious dogs that have unfortunately been brought into situations they didn't ask for. The reality is, there will continue to be people who breed pups in ignorance. I just hope there are enough Rescuers out there to help these poor fellows. Until then...keep educating as much as you can!


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

Whew! Thanks, Joe, Deb had me freaking out myself! 

Linda


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## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

QUOTE (mimi2 @ Dec 14 2008, 02:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689262


> I think this has been given enough attention. I say we all move on. We can only try to steer people in the right direction, if they don't want to follow those directions then I vote that you block that person so you don't have to read anything they say. That's what I'm doing. :thumbsup:[/B]



Thank you!


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

I'm sooooooooooooo confused :blink: :blink:


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

QUOTE (Babygirlmom @ Dec 14 2008, 01:12 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689271


> I would be very perplexed :huh: by someone who asked for a lot of advice about buying from a BYB & then did a 180 degree turn & did it anyway. Whatever the reason's this individual did what they did, I just hope that little one got a good home & will be well taken care of.
> 
> Obviously this person is very new to this forum, or they would not have set themselves up for so much criticism. Anyone that has been on here very long, knows how dedicated this group is to the breed & has the breeds best interest at heart.
> 
> ...


I agree with you - this was one stirrer who was just trying to break up a great group of people ... now where is that Ignore button ...... wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

QUOTE (Joe @ Dec 14 2008, 02:09 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689268


> QUOTE (domino_angel @ Dec 14 2008, 03:44 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689248





> I think by "move on" she means drop the subject....not leave the forum.  At least, I hope that's what she means.[/B]


yes, thats what she meant, but i have to admit, i read it the wrong way and freaked out myself

QUOTE (CeeCee's Mom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689251


> I love you Deb~~~You had better not go anywhere!!!! We could not get along without you on this forum!!! I'm just saying I am glad I did not get a pm like that~~~~[/B]


i was unaware of the PM until now and i wont tolerate that either, it has been addressed

I know everyone here can handle themselves but if there is a thread, post, or PM that is suspicious, breaks the rules or is getting out of hand, please please please let me, sher or the mod team know so we can check it out, thats what we're here for :biggrin:
[/B][/QUOTE]


I was not previously aware of the nasty PM but I did get a PM from the person who stated this and for what it is worth, they did volunteer that info to me and they apologized to me for getting over heated about the situation. Unfortunately, the right person to apologize to wasn't who they sent the PM to.

I was honored when Joe notified me that he wanted me to be a mod. I do clearly see a difference between giving a person advice and perhaps a little bit of grief over a bad decision they might be making and crossing over the line with respect to being mean to them. 

I wish that others here could see the difference, but at any rate, I am letting Joe know that I will no longer be a mod.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

QUOTE (domino_angel @ Dec 14 2008, 03:44 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689248


> I think by "move on" she means drop the subject....not leave the forum.  At least, I hope that's what she means.[/B]



Yes, that's what I meant. Just move on to another thread, or do my laundry, dishes, etc.

God knows how many things I could move on to, but I would never leave this forum. You
folks are my friends. We're not going anywhere. Heck, LBB wouldn't know where to go ~ :HistericalSmiley: 

Many of us get very passionate. That will happen, from time to time, but it will never tear
our passion, and family apart. Not for me, anyway. 

And Steve, you, and Peg, are my dearest friends. Well, Peg is ~ LMFAO
Kidding, Steve. You know I love ya. 

Thanks for everything, Joe. You are a good man. Even LBB can see that. 

I will, most certainly keep you informed, in the future.


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

No Steve, don't do that.........What has happened here???? We love you too and don't make a hasty decision like that. I know what it is, the planets are all aleigning(ms) and some haven't been here in 300 years!!!! Yes, that is what it is.... hee, hee, hee!!!! I'll blame it on something!!!!


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 04:29 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689283


> QUOTE (Joe @ Dec 14 2008, 02:09 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689268





> QUOTE (domino_angel @ Dec 14 2008, 03:44 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689248





> I think by "move on" she means drop the subject....not leave the forum.  At least, I hope that's what she means.[/B]


yes, thats what she meant, but i have to admit, i read it the wrong way and freaked out myself

QUOTE (CeeCee's Mom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689251


> I love you Deb~~~You had better not go anywhere!!!! We could not get along without you on this forum!!! I'm just saying I am glad I did not get a pm like that~~~~[/B]


i was unaware of the PM until now and i wont tolerate that either, it has been addressed

I know everyone here can handle themselves but if there is a thread, post, or PM that is suspicious, breaks the rules or is getting out of hand, please please please let me, sher or the mod team know so we can check it out, thats what we're here for :biggrin: 
[/B][/QUOTE]




I wish that others here could see the difference, but at any rate, I am letting Joe know that I will no longer be a mod.
[/B][/QUOTE]


NOOOOO, NO Way. Now see. This is not right, Steve. You are an excellent MOD!!!

This is out of control. Now stop it!!! Everyone. No one is leaving the forum, and you are NOT leaving the Mod position.

Steve, it's all good. The forum is awesome, the members are awesome, and YOU are awesome. 

Jeeze, you're staying. Like me, just move on to the laundry, and dishes, for now.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Everything is staying the same!!!! Max and Rocky Mods are staying....Deb is staying.....and Allheart...well, sorry your stuck with me LOL

Hugs to all of you and your beautiful big wonderful hearts :grouphug: 

We need everyone to stay right where they are....so we all have a place to run to.!!!!

Now this should make everyone feel warm and fuzzy...sometimes I worry if Leo can breath under Mia.

Truly love you all! :wub:


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

QUOTE (Babygirlmom @ Dec 14 2008, 04:12 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689271


> If I didn't know any better, I would think we have been had as I never saw one response (at least from the last time I read it) from he person that posted they bought that pup. Makes me wonder if they didn't just light a fire to see how long it would burn! :exploding:[/B]


I agree 100%. It would be a terrible tragedy if we lost Steve as our Moderator as a result of this fire.


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Geez I can see everyone running amock without Steve and his whip ...

Steve - Being a mod here is like being a dad .. we are your unruly children and you can't divorce us ...

Joe - well he's 'THE GODFATHER' of all times -


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

All I have to say is I hope nobody leaves. Sometimes things can be misunderstood when online as opposed to in person communication. But still, people have been nice to me even when I'm cranky. :hiding: :ThankYou: 

And I wish I had had a forum like this before I bought my Bichon in '89 from a pet shop. Not that I regret her because she was awesome but you know what I mean. 

The reason why I have my sweet Nikki is because of this forum. :SM Rocks!: 

I guess I can understand why some seasoned members were upset with the new member because he seemed to just ignore every bit of advice from people who know a lot about this breed, and a lot about dogs in general. I mean, what's up with that? :smpullhair: 

Usually you join a forum for info and common interests, not to ask for advice over and over, then not take it, and then let everyone know how you disregarded their help. 


Very odd.....


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## Furbaby's Mommie (Jul 10, 2004)

:behindsofa: Whew! I turn my head 'cause my pup eats a button and look what happens......

:yield: I think it just shows....we really are nuts about these little white guys.

:sLo_grouphug3: I'm proud to be part of these crazies!!

Here's to Joe :smootch: , and here's Steve :smootch: , and Deb :smootch: and the rest.... :SM Rocks!: 
Dee


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

I see where this member has been banned, so maybe we can all just move on.


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

QUOTE (LadysMom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:26 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689340


> I see where this member has been banned, so maybe we can all just move on.[/B]



Well Marj - I'd rather him being banned than my friends here ... :wub2: 

Welcome back everyone ... back to our one big happy family ..... phewwwwwwwww

I'm lying on Andreas couch with a cocktail instead of ducking behind it now ...

Margarita's and wine anyone ????????? :wine: 
Steve - CHEERS MATE !!!!!!!!!!

I can see how dealing with all these woman can take it's toll on you !! B)


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

Lina.........I'll take one of each, make room on the couch!!!! Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!


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## KandiMaltese (Mar 27, 2007)

Woah..what did I come back to here? :smheat: I come back and everyone is invading my tiny couch?  Deb, Steve, Joe..you all rock! I'm sure we can all move on now and maybe take a deep breath and have a margarita  SM rocks :rockon: 


QUOTE (LennaBella @ Dec 14 2008, 06:35 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689345


> QUOTE (LadysMom @ Dec 14 2008, 03:26 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689340





> I see where this member has been banned, so maybe we can all just move on.[/B]



Well Marj - I'd rather him being banned than my friends here ... :wub2: 

Welcome back everyone ... back to our one big happy family ..... phewwwwwwwww

I'm lying on Andreas couch with a cocktail instead of ducking behind it now ...

Margarita's and wine anyone ????????? :wine: 
Steve - CHEERS MATE !!!!!!!!!!

I can see how dealing with all these woman can take it's toll on you !! B)
[/B][/QUOTE]


QUOTE (CeeCee's Mom @ Dec 14 2008, 07:22 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689363


> Lina.........I'll take one of each, make room on the couch!!!! Merry Christmas Everyone!!!![/B]


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

I like strawberry margaritas best....drinking a sip for Deb & Steve! 

All you Malsters rock!!!!! :rockon:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 02:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689221


> I wanted to go on the record here with respect to what occurred a few minutes ago with respect to the treatment of a new member who is getting a pup from what we believe is a BYB.
> 
> I know how you all feel about what was happening and I am sympathetic to what you were trying to do. I think I can best make my point by allowing me to tell you a short story:
> 
> ...


Thank you, Steve, for taking time to share your story. And, also for encouraging older members to be more empathetic toward new Spoiled Maltese members.

To be honest with anyone who takes time to read this ... I hesitated for a long, long time to begin posting on Spoiled Maltese. For a long time, I would check into Spoiled Maltese, if I had a question about Snowball ... because there is a ton of good information on SM. However, I read some posts that, frankly, made me shy away from becoming a member. 

I felt as though there might be a *clique* on SM, that might not have an interest in truly welcoming new members. I understand that members form friendships and bonds more with certain people. I do, too. However, when it seems to be the same group of people, who seem to band together, to treat someone with what I consider disrespect, then, it is my not so humble opinion ... that is not nice. 

I have been on SM for probably going on two months now. And, I have found that there are so many, many caring and supportive members here. However, I don't like to feel as though I am walking on ice if I ask a question about Snowball. And, I have hesitated on doing so in regard to certain questions. 

I took time, I think it was yesterday, to respond to a newbie, whom I felt was not being treated nicely. I felt as though she was being put down. Now, I realize I am really walking on ice by sharing this ... but, I am speaking from the heart. And, only because I am afraid SM might have lost a new member, who, my gut feeling tells me ... was a good person. 

As for myself, even though I have a new two year membership ... I would leave in a heartbeat if I felt I was being unfairly attacked over and over. I feel that is unprofessional and rude. It's my nature to treat others with respect, and I expect visa-versa. The two year membership I paid for recently? Well, I would notify Joe and have it gifted to someone else. 

I mentioned in the other thread ... that I do not support BYB's at all. However, I do worry about all those innocent puppies who are doomed, if someone doesn't take them home. So, I applaud you Steve, for taking Max and Rocky home. Max and Rocky, who otherwise, might have gone to a home that would have had less patience with them. With that, I think we have to work together, to do everything humanly possible to close down the BYB's and puppy mills. And, at the same time, figure out how we can help all the helpless puppies in the puppy mills. Of, course, I applaud rescue efforts. 

Thank you for taking time to read my post. And, again ... I think Spoiled Maltese has many, many wonderful people posting here who are caring and supportive.

Marie


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

QUOTE (Snowball Pie's Mommi @ Dec 14 2008, 07:49 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689414


> QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 02:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689221





> I wanted to go on the record here with respect to what occurred a few minutes ago with respect to the treatment of a new member who is getting a pup from what we believe is a BYB.
> 
> I know how you all feel about what was happening and I am sympathetic to what you were trying to do. I think I can best make my point by allowing me to tell you a short story:
> 
> ...


Thank you, Steve, for taking time to share your story. And, also for encouraging older members to be more empathetic toward new Spoiled Maltese members.

To be honest with anyone who takes time to read this ... I hesitated for a long, long time to begin posting on Spoiled Maltese. For a long time, I would check into Spoiled Maltese, if I had a question about Snowball ... because there is a ton of good information on SM. However, I read some posts that, frankly, made me shy away from becoming a member. 

I felt as though there might be a *clique* on SM, that might not have an interest in truly welcoming new members. I understand that members form friendships and bonds more with certain people. I do, too. However, when it seems to be the same group of people, who seem to band together, to treat someone with what I consider disrespect, then, it is my not so humble opinion ... that is not nice. 

I have been on SM for probably going on two months now. And, I have found that there are so many, many caring and supportive members here. However, I don't like to feel as though I am walking on ice if I ask a question about Snowball. And, I have hesitated on doing so in regard to certain questions. 

I took time, I think it was yesterday, to respond to a newbie, whom I felt was not being treated nicely. I felt as though she was being put down. Now, I realize I am really walking on ice by sharing this ... but, I am speaking from the heart. And, only because I am afraid SM might have lost a new member, who, my gut feeling tells me ... was a good person. 

As for myself, even though I have a new two year membership ... I would leave in a heartbeat if I felt I was being unfairly attacked over and over. I feel that is unprofessional and rude. It's my nature to treat others with respect, and I expect visa-versa. The two year membership I paid for recently? Well, I would notify Joe and have it gifted to someone else. 

I mentioned in the other thread ... that I do not support BYB's at all. However, I do worry about all those innocent puppies who are doomed, if someone doesn't take them home. So, I applaud you Steve, for taking Max and Rocky home. Max and Rocky, who otherwise, might have gone to a home that would have had less patience with them. With that, I think we have to work together, to do everything humanly possible to close down the BYB's and puppy mills. And, at the same time, figure out how we can help all the helpless puppies in the puppy mills. Of, course, I applaud rescue efforts. 

Thank you for taking time to read my post. And, again ... I think Spoiled Maltese has many, many wonderful people posting here who are caring and supportive.

Marie
[/B][/QUOTE]

Hi Marie,

I understand what you mean. It's all about different opinions. For me, if someone writes something that I am passionate about I'm going to respond. They have the right to express their view just as I have the right to express mine. It's all about learning new things and seeing things from a different point of view. We all care about animals and if we can help save someone from heartache we will do what we can to educate them. If that means that sometimes things get heated..that's the way it is. I am not a part of any "clique", as a matter of fact I've been a member for almost 4 years and I do not have any outside friendships with anyone on SM. I do seem to relate to a certain type of person on this board but that's as far as it goes. When questions are asked and advice is sought and given - and then totally ignored, you're going to get some people in a tizzy. That's just human nature.

Glad you're a memeber! You're baby is adorable!!

Martha


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

QUOTE (Snowball Pie's Mommi @ Dec 14 2008, 06:49 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689414


> QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Dec 14 2008, 02:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689221





> I wanted to go on the record here with respect to what occurred a few minutes ago with respect to the treatment of a new member who is getting a pup from what we believe is a BYB.
> 
> I know how you all feel about what was happening and I am sympathetic to what you were trying to do. I think I can best make my point by allowing me to tell you a short story:
> 
> ...


Thank you, Steve, for taking time to share your story. And, also for encouraging older members to be more empathetic toward new Spoiled Maltese members.

To be honest with anyone who takes time to read this ... I hesitated for a long, long time to begin posting on Spoiled Maltese. For a long time, I would check into Spoiled Maltese, if I had a question about Snowball ... because there is a ton of good information on SM. However, I read some posts that, frankly, made me shy away from becoming a member. 

I felt as though there might be a *clique* on SM, that might not have an interest in truly welcoming new members. I understand that members form friendships and bonds more with certain people. I do, too. However, when it seems to be the same group of people, who seem to band together, to treat someone with what I consider disrespect, then, it is my not so humble opinion ... that is not nice. 

I have been on SM for probably going on two months now. And, I have found that there are so many, many caring and supportive members here. However, I don't like to feel as though I am walking on ice if I ask a question about Snowball. And, I have hesitated on doing so in regard to certain questions. 

I took time, I think it was yesterday, to respond to a newbie, whom I felt was not being treated nicely. I felt as though she was being put down. Now, I realize I am really walking on ice by sharing this ... but, I am speaking from the heart. And, only because I am afraid SM might have lost a new member, who, my gut feeling tells me ... was a good person. 

As for myself, even though I have a new two year membership ... I would leave in a heartbeat if I felt I was being unfairly attacked over and over. I feel that is unprofessional and rude. It's my nature to treat others with respect, and I expect visa-versa. The two year membership I paid for recently? Well, I would notify Joe and have it gifted to someone else. 

I mentioned in the other thread ... that I do not support BYB's at all. However, I do worry about all those innocent puppies who are doomed, if someone doesn't take them home. So, I applaud you Steve, for taking Max and Rocky home. Max and Rocky, who otherwise, might have gone to a home that would have had less patience with them. With that, I think we have to work together, to do everything humanly possible to close down the BYB's and puppy mills. And, at the same time, figure out how we can help all the helpless puppies in the puppy mills. Of, course, I applaud rescue efforts. 

Thank you for taking time to read my post. And, again ... I think Spoiled Maltese has many, many wonderful people posting here who are caring and supportive.

Marie


[/B][/QUOTE]

Marie, I have felt your sentiments at times too & like you, I am relunctant to ask some questions for fear of being reprimanded in some way. I am especially sensitive to such treatment because of coming out of an abused family life & then into an abused marriage that lasted 13 years. If I ask a question, I expect it to be answered in a respectful manner, not one that's demeaning. I think some people on here don't realize how they come across at times. Please fellow posters, take time to read your post as if someone was writing it to you...it can take on a whole different meaning. I think the majority of the people on here are great people, but I have had my moments & at times have just stopped posting altogether because of such boldness & inconsiderate postings. Sorry, but that is just how I feel.


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## luvmyfurbaby (Feb 11, 2007)

QUOTE (Snowball Pie's Mommi @ Dec 14 2008, 08:49 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689414


> However, I read some posts that, frankly, made me shy away from becoming a member.
> 
> However, I don't like to feel as though I am walking on ice if I ask a question about Snowball. And, I have hesitated on doing so in regard to certain questions.
> 
> ...



Marie I felt the same way in the begining and I was attacked once. I was taken aback and felt like I was walking on thin ice and also hesitant to post my opinion and questions. Well I got to know the members a little better and the personalities behind the keyboards. Even though I will never agree with all of them I have a better understanding as to why they react the way they do. 

There are a few that jump on the band wagon because they like the drama but as pointed out that is why the ignore button was made. Other members aren't blind and see through the few that do this. I tend to come to the defense of those that I feel are being treated unfairly and rudely regardless of what others think. I'm actually glad I missed all the commotion. 

I hope you never hesitate to post your questions or concerns when it comes to Snowball. Thanks for being a member.

Maggie


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

Well, I think when I joined I just jumped right on in and brought all my baggage with me. Sophie is a maltipoo from a backyard breeder, who was given to me as a surprise Mother's Day gift! I have always felt welcomed (perhaps I just didn't ask the right question j/k) and what others may perceive as cliques I have always, imo, seen as wonderful friendships that have developed between members. 

Yes, I've winced a time or two or three at some replies I've seen posted on her, but as another member said, you get to know the personalities behind the keyboard and understand where they are coming from and the reason for the tone and words they may use.

If it wasn't for all of the members here who are so passionate about this breed, I probably never would have even known about rescue and wouldn't have even thought to add another pup to our family. Because of SM I now have Annie who brightens my day every day the minute I open my eyes. And, I love Sophie more every day.

Thanks Joe and the moderators and all the SM members. You guys rock!

Linda


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Regarding the last couple of posts ... I don't know if the "misery loves company" quote makes us feel any better but I'm very active on a purse forum and they have had to remove the join date and number of posts from easy view because of the way people treat newbies. I think sometimes we just get suspicious of someone new when they jump in with questions and then do the opposite of what we suggest. 

It sort of reminds me of the arguments on the purse forum ... the hot button is fake purses. So if someone joins and says they are looking for a particular purse. And we give advice where to get it. And then they come back and say they decided to get a fake. Whoa.... They would get the same reaction as what happened here. I guess it's just human nature and the nature of discussion boards. Just like we are trying to get rid of BYBs and puppymills. On the purse forum we're trying to get rid of fake handbags. So I guess we are not unique here!

Gosh, I remember when I first joined 4 years ago. There was a clique that would post one by one right after I posted and they would all have the same argument against what I had posted. I was so discouraged and about to quit when one member here (I hate to call her out) PM'd me laughing at the craziness of the whole scenario, etc. I felt better and decided to stay ... and as they say, the rest is history! And some of those folks eventually became my friends.

I hope next week is better than this one ... there has been too much drama here for my taste. :smstarz:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE


> Hi Marie,
> 
> I understand what you mean. It's all about different opinions. For me, if someone writes something that I am passionate about I'm going to respond. They have the right to express their view just as I have the right to express mine. It's all about learning new things and seeing things from a different point of view. We all care about animals and if we can help save someone from heartache we will do what we can to educate them. If that means that sometimes things get heated..that's the way it is. I am not a part of any "clique", as a matter of fact I've been a member for almost 4 years and I do not have any outside friendships with anyone on SM. I do seem to relate to a certain type of person on this board but that's as far as it goes. When questions are asked and advice is sought and given - and then totally ignored, you're going to get some people in a tizzy. That's just human nature.
> 
> ...



Thank you, Martha, for understanding and responding to my post. 

I am always open to hearing different opinions and listening to feedback. That's how I believe we can think further about a lot of things ... and, also learn.

As for my *clique* remark ... I perhaps should have used another word. As I tried to express before ... it's normal to feel closer and want to be friends with people who perhaps share more common interests, etc. There's nothing wrong with that. 

Marie


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

You're welcome Marie, no more worries! I know what you mean about cliques....and had felt the same way when I first joined. Cliques are everywhere we go in all aspects of life.


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

QUOTE (K/C Mom @ Dec 14 2008, 09:40 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689452


> *It sort of reminds me of the arguments on the purse forum ... the hot button is fake purses. So if someone joins and says they are looking for a particular purse. And we give advice where to get it. And then they come back and say they decided to get a fake. Whoa.... *They would get the same reaction as what happened here. I guess it's just human nature and the nature of discussion boards. Just like we are trying to get rid of BYBs and puppymills. On the purse forum we're trying to get rid of fake handbags. So I guess we are not unique here![/B]


AMEN to the *WHOA * about fake purses!! LOL!! Goodness gracious!! :OMG!: 


QUOTE (mimi2 @ Dec 14 2008, 10:09 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689495


> You're welcome Marie, no more worries! I know what you mean about cliques....and had felt the same way when I first joined. Cliques are everywhere we go in all aspects of life.[/B]


Ditto! :yes:


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## dwerten (Oct 6, 2007)

I felt the same way lol and K/C saved me -lol and maybe this is a good thread for all of us to remember being new you already feel a little uncomfortable coming into the group and then when someone says something offensive it makes you want to leave asap. I probably would have left myself if it was not for k/c and a few others that pm privately as i was trying to learn things and am on many other groups so started out with the wrong thing -lol selling some dog items -lol but it is all good as i met some nice people who were very kind and apologized for the actions of another. I stuck around and have been very glad I did as I have met some very wonderful people here and refer alot of maltese owners here from my other groups as well. I definitely think things can get misinterpreted in an email very easily especially if you do not know the person or even get a chance to know the person first. 

Thanks again K/C and the others that were so kind to me when i joined and Thanks to deb - totoandtuffy for recommending this group to me


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE


> Marie, I have felt your sentiments at times too & like you, I am relunctant to ask some questions for fear of being reprimanded in some way. I am especially sensitive to such treatment because of coming out of an abused family life & then into an abused marriage that lasted 13 years. If I ask a question, I expect it to be answered in a respectful manner, not one that's demeaning. I think some people on here don't realize how they come across at times. Please fellow posters, take time to read your post as if someone was writing it to you...it can take on a whole different meaning. I think the majority of the people on here are great people, but I have had my moments & at times have just stopped posting altogether because of such boldness & inconsiderate postings. Sorry, but that is just how I feel.[/B]


Thank you, Donna, for responding to my post. 

I believe it helps when all of us can discuss how we are feeling. In the end, often I think it helps most of us communicate better. So, I say, please don't apologize for how you feel. I think you expressed how you feel in a very nice way. 

I'm sorry you experienced abuse. I understand how that can affect one in various ways.

Your Babygirl is adorable! Cute Christmas siggy!

Marie


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Hi Marie (Snowball Pies mommy)

I too came on this forum and was shy (yes me shy) to approach and post comments. Our wonderful Member Katkoota told me about SM and I became a member and didn't really post for a while - I too was hesitant to "jump right in" ...

But slowly you get to figure out who's who - some people you can never figure out and they may post the weirdest things - so just don't comment is my motto.

The concern, love and warmth I have found in the past two weeks after Max has been very emotional for me, there are truly genuine people out there who shed tears over my little man and you were one of them.

And one thing is true, if any member comes in here with a problem, the support they get is amazing, from prayers (Matilda's mommy Paula's prayers are the best) ... everyone pitches in and becomes one to get that poster over whatever they are going thru.

It has been a very emotional couple of weeks for many of us, fake posters, annoying posters, the stress of the holidays took it's toll here unfortunately.

Let's move on and enjoy this website as Joe had envisioned for us all to do !!!

Group hug :sLo_grouphug3:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE


> Marie I felt the same way in the begining and I was attacked once. I was taken aback and felt like I was walking on thin ice and also hesitant to post my opinion and questions. Well I got to know the members a little better and the personalities behind the keyboards. Even though I will never agree with all of them I have a better understanding as to why they react the way they do.
> 
> There are a few that jump on the band wagon because they like the drama but as pointed out that is why the ignore button was made. Other members aren't blind and see through the few that do this. I tend to come to the defense of those that I feel are being treated unfairly and rudely regardless of what others think. I'm actually glad I missed all the commotion.
> 
> ...



I really appreciate, Maggie, hearing from you and others, of your experiences and how you feel now.

The words "Personalities behind the keyboard" popped out at me. Because, often we can't read the tone of voice, etc. Then, other times, I think we can.

Thank you for encouraging me to post questions or concerns about Snowball. And, thank you. Maggie, for making me feel welcome as a member. 

Marie


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (LennaBella @ Dec 14 2008, 11:58 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689557


> Hi Marie (Snowball Pies mommy)
> 
> I too came on this forum and was shy (yes me shy) to approach and post comments. Our wonderful Member Katkoota told me about SM and I became a member and didn't really post for a while - I too was hesitant to "jump right in" ...
> 
> ...



Awwww ... thank you so much, Lina.

About Katkoota ... that is great, and you are so lucky that she introduced you to SM! I first saw all of her You Tube videos that I fell in love with! And, then I saw her here! (I haven't met her yet though) 

I know there are so many wonderful posters here. Before I ever started posting, I saw the love and concern all of you showed for Dede. That was/is a beautiful example of the love here. As was/ and still is for your beloved, Max. (My prayers are still there for Max and your family)

Thank you again, Lina, for your taking time to share your thoughts and give me feedback. It helps a lot.

Now I have to learn how to use those emoticons! Group hug back! : ) 

Marie


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

This is way off this topic .. but Marie here is a video of Max trying to talk to his Dubai friend Snowy - Katkootas baby boy .....

Awwww - Bella started barking when she heard this even though the volume was low ...

Isn't Max the cutest :wub:

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=-7y0lYxsnZc


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (LennaBella @ Dec 15 2008, 02:35 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=689616


> This is way off this topic .. but Marie here is a video of Max trying to talk to his Dubai friend Snowy - Katkootas baby boy .....
> 
> Awwww - Bella started barking when she heard this even though the volume was low ...
> 
> ...



Awwww ... Lina, Max looks a lot like Snowball in that video. 

Thank you for sharing the video. It is really cute ... and, Max is more than cute in the video! He is adorable.


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

thanks everyone for your replies, it's been a crazy week at SM  let's all try to move forward now, if you still have any ? or concern, feel free to PM me

closed


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