# Opinions on Maltese Only forum?



## Chilly dog (Aug 16, 2005)

I don't want to start a "controversial" topic or anything but I just visited that Forum (which I don't do often since I discovered Spoiled Maltese!) and something made me really angry.

I posted my issue (under the name chanel_whiteduck) in the "Fed up with Koko" topic that seems to be VERY popular right now but I doubt it will get through the screening process. I just have problems with the way that board is moderated! 

Consider this my censored vent!


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Oh we are all very well aware of how that site is moderated, mostly from past experience. I for one am surprised it is still running at all.


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

MO is crap.


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## NewMom328 (Apr 15, 2005)

Um ok YIKES...I went and read that post...Poor little Koko. Im glad no one on this forum treats their babies like that. Poor guy...I didnt read all the way through, so I dont know if he found another home or not...but it sure makes me want to help him.


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## lethalfire (Sep 7, 2005)

unfortunately I found Maltese Only before I found the WONDERFUL forum.
Needless to say I don't even look at Maltese Only anymore. The whole
post a topic and if you are lucky you will get to read responses 2 days
later is a little extreme for me.

Once again hats off to you Joe for creating such an awesome site. We can
respond in real time and yet everyone still respects everybody here and there
isn't any bashing.








for ya Joe. Just want to make sure you know how much
we all appreciate you even though I am still a rather new one compared
to some, but you all made me feel at home here.


Yeah when do I get to mark my territory here?--Cosmo


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## Baby Gizmo (Apr 18, 2005)

I went to the site last night and read the thread about Koko. The topic is very long and I read most of it. I was very shocked at how this person felt toward this little dog, if it is even true. If it is not true then this person has a serious problem thinking up things like this. Either way it is just a terrible thing and I pray that no animal has to suffer of this person's hand.


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## Littlemans Mom (Apr 6, 2005)

I found MO first when we had just gotten Indy, I only spent a few weeks there until I found this site







I never felt comfortable there, but I really liked reading info on Maltese, so I was thrilled to find this site







I always wondered about a site that would filter posts before they could even be posted and having to wait so long for a response because of it. Also when I went to post a picture of our Littleman, I read you would be band from posting an image if after two tries you did it wrong and the photo was too large. I thought that was just too much and never even tried to post a photo. That is when I started looking around for another site, I figured they couldn't be the only site about Maltese and I was right







I didn't feel comfortable on a site that did not allow you to actually speak! They would not allow people to get to know each other or post names of anything, so you could help someone out. I just don't see how they manage to keep going with a site that is like that









Joe,
It really does make me want to thank you again for giving us all a nice friendly place to get together and talk about our little ones. Thank you....... thank you....... thank you........


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## TuckersMom (Jun 27, 2005)

I've never heard of that site...sounds like I'm not missing much...so, just let me also say thanks to Joe for this wonderful site. I've always loved it here.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Littlemans Mom_@Oct 7 2005, 08:27 AM
> *I found MO first when we had just gotten Indy, I only spent a few weeks there until I found this site
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

I feel exactly as you... you said it so well! What amazes me is how some of the posters put up with abuse from the MO site owner and moderators .... They are banned and spoken harshly to, yet beg to be allowed to come back!! :new_Eyecrazy:


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## Karen542 (May 4, 2005)

I also found Mo first before sm. I once in awhile go there and read some of the posts. I read that one about KoKo and that is just awful. Poor baby I wish I could take him home with me. It also seems alot of the people aren't too educated on malteses







All I know is I'm happy I found sm, thanks to Joe for this great site


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Karen542_@Oct 7 2005, 08:43 AM
> *I also found Mo first before sm.  I once in awhile go there and read some of the posts.  I read that one about KoKo and that is just awful.  Poor baby I wish I could take him home with me.  It also seems alot of the people aren't too educated on malteses
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

And the newbies on MO will only be educated to a certain extent. It's tough to educate/help others when you're so very limited in what you can post. It's also difficult on the newbies when they have to wait so long for a response, just to find out many were not even approved.


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## Teddyandme (Feb 6, 2005)

You know there are so many people that I liked over there...and I cared about what was happening in there lives...and yet we could never "talk" or converse so it got to be harder and harder to continue. It has been at least a month since I checked in....and when I did I found it so hard to pull things up and see waiting going on. I left and am in no hurry to return.

Here I know I can actually voice who I am and not worry about some "moderator" thinking he can change my words or not post them at all.

Joe, Thanks for making this site such a wonderful warm welcoming place.


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## abkadefkey (Sep 27, 2005)

That thread is what got me looking for another forum.

While my heart goes out to Koko and I do believe he is being mistreated, any good that could have come from there was lost when the other members converged on the girl like a pack of ravenous wolves. java script:emoticon(':new_Eyecrazy:') She is obviously an inexperienced owner and I think she may have been trying to get a rise out of them. Maybe some attention too. I do firmly believe that KoKo would be better off with someone more mature to take care of him. I would gladly drive to New York to get him. But if she refuses to give him up then all we can do is try to offer constructive advice that she can use to try and solve the behavior issues, which I think are caused more by her behavior than by Koko's. There was very little constructive criticism and the few people that did say anything less than negative got banned. It was as if the moderators got some kind of perverse pleasure from seeing them rip her to shreds. It seems the only criteria for getting banned from there is disagreeing with Jay.

I am so glad I found this place. It's easier to navigate. And just all the way around a better site, IMO. Especially the people. Y'all seem friendlier and more helpful. One of the members here has helped me to be able to locate a breeder in my area. We will be going out next weekend to visit with her and see her babies. I'm so excited. I can't wait. I want to go now but it's only a week. What's one more week when we have been waiting 2 years. Besides, I can't take the baby home for another 7 weeks. She's only just turned 5 weeks.

I'm so excited. java script:emoticon(':aktion033:') Wish me luck!


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

As Scrappy said, if you don't want to be banned from MO, don't say anything about Jay or MO anywhere else. He reads all the other forums, joins secretly, has even threatened our Joe! He is tremendously insecure to say the least!

I was blocked from posting years ago for saying something bad about him on another Forum. I only lasted a couple months, but I had or have no desire to rejoin. The few times I've gone over there since out of boredom, all I see is "post waiting approval". That's new since I belonged before. It was always moderated, but the turn around time wasn't that long. 

Yawn, yawn....!


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## Vikki and Audrey (Jan 12, 2005)

What I found really unbelievable about the 'Fed Up With Koko" thread, was how visciously the members responded to the young (still living at home) girl who posted the topic.








Koko's Mom clearly has alot of issues to sort out and may well be better giving up little Koko, but at the end of the day she has just been foolish, not abusive.
She yells at Koko, shuts him in another room while she eats, and has rushed towards him to scare him if he didn't do as he was told. Obviously that behavior is going to be counter productive and is hard on Koko - but abusive? Not in my opinion. At least not enough to justify MO members calling her a dog abuser, telling her she should never be allowed to have her own children and that they wish her an abusive partner and are disgusted by her. These are just a few examples of the posts directed at this child - and if they are trying to help Koko they are not doing a good job as all they have done is make her defensive and angry. The adult members of MO should know better than this.

MO banned a user called 'puppyluv' for saying something about it, and the Becky the moderator responded saying something along the lines of: 'we at maltese only treat all of our visitors with the utmost respect, and expect you to do the same - you are now banned'.
After that e.mail were several more pages wishing evil luck to Koko's Mom. I no longer wanted to be part of a group who I consider to be such bullys and a moderating team who allow bashing of one side, but either refuse to publish or ban posts from the other. Rules should apply to everyone or no-one in my opinion.

So I wrote a mail to Becky saying as much and am now banned myself! I will say this; I found MO right when we first got Audrey and found the advice and information absolutely invaluable and very enjoyable. However I was not brought up to sit by and see someone get bullied in over 11 pages of abusive posts without saying something. I think it is a great shame for MO that their moderating team are quite so draconian. 
Still it wasn't terribly clever for Koko's Mom to write a post like that to one of these websites was it!!


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## puppymom (Jun 13, 2005)

I was baned from MO because I posted (or attempted to post) the link to a poison control web site for dogs. Can you imagine being banned for posting potentially life saving information!!!!

Some of the posters on that forum are very mean spirited and just plain rude, their responses often amaze me. When I am looking for specific information I do occasionally look there because there are some well informed people who participate. But I usually get so frustrated with the rude mean responses that I vow to stay away. 

As far as the "posts waiting approval" goes, when you stop and think about it, whith the rsponses that do get through being as meanspirited as they are maybe it's a good thing the post are moderated. Can you imagine the ones that don't??? They seem to need protection from THEMSELVES


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## Chilly dog (Aug 16, 2005)

> MO banned a user called 'puppyluv' for saying something about it, and the Becky the moderator responded saying something along the lines of: 'we at maltese only treat all of our visitors with the utmost respect, and expect you to do the same - you are now banned'.
> After that e.mail were several more pages wishing evil luck to Koko's Mom. I no longer wanted to be part of a group who I consider to be such bullys and a moderating team who allow bashing of one side, but either refuse to publish or ban posts from the other. Rules should apply to everyone or no-one in my opinion.
> 
> So I wrote a mail to Becky saying as much and am now banned myself! I will say this; I found MO right when we first got Audrey and found the advice and information absolutely invaluable and very enjoyable. However I was not brought up to sit by and see someone get bullied in over 11 pages of abusive posts without saying something. I think it is a great shame for MO that their moderating team are quite so draconian.[/B]


These were my thoughts exactly! As I expected, my post was NOT approved and I don't know whether or not I have been banned - but hoenstly, I don't care.

For anyone curious, this is what my post said:

------------------------

This post probably won't make it through the screening process but it is intended for the moderators anyway.

First of all, I'd like to make it clear that I an in no way commenting on the situation Koko's mom is in with her pup, rather the moderation of this board.

There is a clear double standard running here. You've banned two members for their verbal mistreatment of the members you cherish. Yet Koko, another member of the Forum, has undergone countless verbal attacks and petty name-calling without being afforded the same benefits of membership. If the situation was reversed and one of your more "popular" members were being called any of these names, those name-callers would be immediately banned.

I think your system is faulty and this double standard defeats the purpose of having such a controlled Forum.

-----------------------

Yeah, that probably got me banned. I'm sorry, but I have strong feelings when it comes to human rights and MO is more of a tyranny than a democracy. A lot of the members there also have this sort of gang mentality where they wait for weakness and pounce when they see it, as is evident in this 15-page post. Any other post of this length would have usually been closed by the moderators a long time ago, but the fact that it remains open proves that the moderators share the same mentality.

That post and what it revealed has just disgusted me and I will not be returning to that Forum.


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

Something to think about ........

I know someone who was a MO moderator in the very beginning and according to her, Jay made up posts to get things stirred up and provoke controversy when the forum was slow.

So who knows if the Koko saga is even true?


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## Vikki and Audrey (Jan 12, 2005)

> > A lot of the members there also have this sort of gang mentality where they wait for weakness and pounce when they see it, as is evident in this 15-page post. Any other post of this length would have usually been closed by the moderators a long time ago, but the fact that it remains open proves that the moderators share the same mentality.
> >
> > That post and what it revealed has just disgusted me and I will not be returning to that Forum.
> > <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107540
> ...


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## AJ (Jun 5, 2005)




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## louise (Sep 10, 2005)

I found MO a few weeks before I found SM. I was scared to post over there. Seems like the new ones were always the ones who were attacted. I didnt want to say anything wrong, so I just didnt say anything at all. Not that I had anything bad to say. They just are little







over there. Nothing like that here. I have always felt welcomed and everyone is so helpful. Thanks Joe, thanks everyone


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## Holliberry (Feb 5, 2005)

You guys made me go back there just to read this









I found it a bit hypocritical that this girl said,

"I am a firm believer that if a dog/kid needs discipline, being nice about it will do nothing but get you walked all over. There needs to be some fear instilled so that it wont happen again."

Yet when she was getting that exact treatment it was somehow not appropriate.









In this case I am not too concerned about the politics of the web site, but I really was saddened to read about how she is treating this little guy. Like she said, maybe the fear of people chewing her butt out would make her think about how he feels, instead of her spoiled self, and give him to someone who would spend some time on him now, not when she can finally move out of her parent's home. 

Or, this could be one of those "stir the pot" threads and not even be true.


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

> _Originally posted by louise_@Oct 7 2005, 04:12 PM
> *I found MO a few weeks before I found SM. I was scared to post over there. Seems like the new ones were always the ones who were attacted. I didnt want to say anything wrong, so I just didnt say anything at all. Not that I had anything bad to say. They just are little
> 
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[/QUOTE]

That's pretty much my exact experience! I was scared to post over there...then I started coming here...and I was a "silent member" so to speak, for MONTHS before I got up the courage to post! LOL!! 
It's a shame there is no way to contact another member to give private support or just to say "HI" on MO. I have made MANY friendships here, very good friendships, that wouldn't have been made if I was stuck over at MO. I can't IMAGINE going back there....not after feeling the love here.. lol


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Holliberry_@Oct 7 2005, 04:24 PM
> *You guys made me go back there just to read this
> 
> 
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[/QUOTE]

Off topic but....I LOVE your avatar.


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## lethalfire (Sep 7, 2005)

Personally I believe that people join these forums to LEARN and also
to make friends. I don't know about anyone else but I don't learn by being
attacked and told all the WRONG things I am doing. When someone yells
at me (unless I am extremely mad) I have a tendency to clam up and shout
out their voice (childhood situation I won't get into). I believe to help
someone is to show them the CORRECT way to handle something with out 
attacking them.

Now as for the MO post. This girl is exactly that JUST a Girl. No she 
might not being doing things correctly but with everyone attacking her
instead of helping her how is she going to learn? Not ALL parents teach
their children how to love and respect and treat pets, then again not all
Parents know themselves. This girl needs to be taught. In a patient, helpful
manner. 

In my book the old saying still holds true : "You will get farther with honey
than you will with vinegar". I don't care if I get banned from MO or not. I haven't
had anything to do with them for quite a while and I have no intention of
going back there. I also believe that when you have a forum that is
so concerned about selling the products that THEY sell therefore won't let
you name any other brand names is not honestly trying to help others but instead
more concerned about making money.

Another famous qoute I have noticed over there is they like to tell people
to search the archives for older posts, not everyone has an entire day to
find what they are looking for. Big deal so it has been posted before, is it that hard
to retype some information to help them out? (please don't take me wrong I think
it is great when you guys post the links to other threads that helps answer questions, atleast they can just click on it right away) I'm talking more about sending people on a wild goose chase.

Ok I will shut up now.


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## Vikki and Audrey (Jan 12, 2005)

> _Originally posted by lethalfire_@Oct 7 2005, 04:37 PM
> *Personally I believe that people join these forums to LEARN and also
> to make friends.  I don't know about anyone else but I don't learn by being
> attacked and told all the WRONG things I am doing.  When someone yells
> ...


[/QUOTE]

Funny - this is just how I see it too! That's why the behavior of the MO gang was so distasteful to me. Unpleasant bunch who are as bad as she is - if not worse as they are old enough to know better!


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## Airmid (Dec 9, 2004)

Two words: Napolean Complex.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Holliberry_@Oct 7 2005, 04:24 PM
> *You guys made me go back there just to read this
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

Janet, I saw this situation just like you did. I could hardly bear to read her posts when she told how she treated her dog. It just broke my heart picturing that little fellow being treated so badly. I didn't feel sorry for her at all and was hoping and praying that she would give the dog to someone who would treat him properly.


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## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom+Oct 7 2005, 04:33 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Janet, I saw this situation just like you did. I could hardly bear to read her posts when she told how she treated her dog. It just broke my heart picturing that little fellow being treated so badly. I didn't feel sorry for her at all and was hoping and praying that she would give the dog to someone who would treat him properly.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107650
[/B][/QUOTE]

I don't know how I feel about the whole Koko's mom thread. I remember her coming to the forum and saying that she is getting a "teacup" maltese from petstore and everyone warning her not to and guess what -- he turned out to be a large sized snarling monster maltese!! I know she is young and lives at home but if you get a dog you need to have some responsibility. On the other hand, I feel like people on these forums sometimes do have a disconect from younger crowd. Numerous times I read posts saying that we need to stay home all day long with our dogs --- that is just not the case. Its perfectly fine to leave the dog at home while you work!!!!!!!!!!


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## TheButtercup (Mar 3, 2005)

> _Originally posted by okw_@Oct 7 2005, 07:34 PM
> *...On the other hand, I feel like people on these forums sometimes do have a disconect from younger crowd.  Numerous times I read posts saying that we need to stay home all day long with our dogs --- that is just not the case.  Its perfectly fine to leave the dog at home while you work!!!!!!!!!!
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107656*


[/QUOTE]

that's one of my favorite "reasons you should NOT get a maltese" that i read on "that" forum. of course not one of my replies to that was ever posted because i posted how i got buttercup in my senior year of college (albeit i was 29 at the time lol) and was working 2 part time jobs....but STILL had plenty of time home with the baby buttercup. i was never gone for more than 4 hours...at most...at either school or job. i work now up to 18hrs a day, up to 10-12 days in a row like that, and the buttercup is no worse off. people tell me constantly how well behaved she is, how social she is, etc. (okay, so recently i've had The Boy help with her care, but that's not the point, he works too). it's always been one of the few topics that i get very emotional over when people are hellbent on saying "you shouldnt have a maltese if you work" because let's face it...not all maltese are owned by independently wealthy people who dont work, LOL. although, i'm working on THAT....









the buttercup knows that mommy goes to work ONLY to make money to buy her nice things!

anyhoo. i went to read the Koko thread...and thought better of it, i couldnt get thru it.... i cant deal with that place. like vikki said, for them to restrict her postings because she was trying to be diplomatic and voice the unpopular opinion... yet continue to allow this girl to be verbally abused like this (i couldnt get over the whole "i hope you end up with an abuser" comment set me off, how could THAT remain posted but any posts that arent along that immediate line of thought get the boot????) and say "we have no reason to close this thread...but no personal attacks on any members" except clearly the original poster herself, right? 

i heart joe









ann marie and the "spoiled maltese are the best maltese" buttercup


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

i had this big long thing typed up about this and decided i wouldnt stoop as low as him but i will say this, his name isnt even Jay, he's not honest from the get go and I wouldnt even say this if he hadnt threatened me and my family in the past, i actually thank him as SM was just a site about Sampson at one point but he pushed me to create something more, something better and I can say I intend to do just that


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## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

> _Originally posted by TheButtercup+Oct 7 2005, 08:21 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
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that's one of my favorite "reasons you should NOT get a maltese" that i read on "that" forum. of course not one of my replies to that was ever posted because i posted how i got buttercup in my senior year of college (albeit i was 29 at the time lol) and was working 2 part time jobs....but STILL had plenty of time home with the baby buttercup. i was never gone for more than 4 hours...at most...at either school or job. i work now up to 18hrs a day, up to 10-12 days in a row like that, and the buttercup is no worse off. people tell me constantly how well behaved she is, how social she is, etc. (okay, so recently i've had The Boy help with her care, but that's not the point, he works too). it's always been one of the few topics that i get very emotional over when people are hellbent on saying "you shouldnt have a maltese if you work" because let's face it...not all maltese are owned by independently wealthy people who dont work, LOL. although, i'm working on THAT....









the buttercup knows that mommy goes to work ONLY to make money to buy her nice things!



ann marie and the "spoiled maltese are the best maltese" buttercup
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107689
[/B][/QUOTE]

My favorite was the response someone wrote to "how long is too long to leave your maltese home alone" -- "anything over 4 hrs is way too long". Do we all have to either be independently wealthy or retired to own a maltese? Its perfectly acceptable to be a working mom, but not a working furmom?


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## rubyjeansmom (Jan 6, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Joe_@Oct 7 2005, 08:24 PM
> *i had this big long thing typed up about this and decided i wouldnt stoop as low as him but i will say this, his name isnt even Jay, he's not honest from the get go and I wouldnt even say this if he hadnt threatened me and my family in the past, i actually thank him as SM was just a site about Sampson at one point but he pushed me to create something more, something better and I can say I intend to do just that
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]
Joe-mission accomplished--many times over--thanks to you we have a open, loving environment to come too to have fun and learn alot. The people you've attracted to this forum are the best too--it just wouldn't be a forum without all the wonderful people and furbutts that make Spoiled Maltese. Thanks to Joe and to everyone for this wonderful place.


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## littlepeanut (Dec 5, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe_@Oct 7 2005, 11:24 PM
> *i had this big long thing typed up about this and decided i wouldnt stoop as low as him but i will say this, his name isnt even Jay, he's not honest from the get go and I wouldnt even say this if he hadnt threatened me and my family in the past, i actually thank him as SM was just a site about Sampson at one point but he pushed me to create something more, something better and I can say I intend to do just that
> 
> 
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[/QUOTE]




































You're the best Joe







Thanks for everything









We love SM!!


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## Littlemans Mom (Apr 6, 2005)

You go Joe







SM is a great site thanks to all your hard work, along with a wonderful group of people and their babies who make this the site to call home


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## lethalfire (Sep 7, 2005)

Needless to say I didn't post much there because I knew I wasn't
going to be treated very good. I am 27 going on 28 with 2 girls
ages 2 and 4. Are my kids young? Yes. Is my cosmo young? Yes.
My kids have both been raised with pets since the day they were
born. We are a very animal oriented family. My children have been
taught how to love, respect, and even how to play with our pets. Our
pets have been taught the same towards our children.

My children KNOW that they are not allowed topick Cosmo up and that they
have to watch out for them while they are walking (cause he is still sooo small)
they know that if they want to play with him they have to sit on the floor
and that mommy will be watching them.

If this makes me a bad furmommy so be it. I would rather be a bad furmommy
with happy pets and children that are both loved, cherished and properly 
cared for. Maybe I am more mature for my age because of things that
happened in my childhood either way I am soo sick of hearing that Maltese's are pretty much an old ladies dog. The maltese is a breed of their own and if that
breed suits what you want and you have the time to dedicate to the furbaby
then I say go ahead no matter if you are young, old or in between.


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## clmaltese (Aug 31, 2005)

I am glad to be here also. I started out on MO. I mistakenly told that I was a breeder. My husband and I have been for more than 20 years. We breed and choose not to show. I think that put a dark cloud over my posts right away. Most never got up at all. I would ask why and never got an answer. I got a comment made on the breeder section ( that you have to pay to look at) I wanted to see what it said and ask to see it, Ms Moderator said I needed to buy the useless list to see the comment made about me! I sent her the $5.00 and still was not allowed to see it. Later the poster told me she was just trying to tell everyone she was happy with my breeding and the puppy she got from me. 
Now why should the breeder bable be sensored from breeders too? I too purchase from other breeders from time to time and had knowledge of others on that list, but still was denied any access to the precious list.
I think they have a jelliousy issue. 
I like learning, like I said I have been breeding for more than 20 years, I read and try and learn more every day to improve what I do. I really enjoy that I know that I don't know everything.
If I can help someone, the Golden rule is still the best one...
if everyone believed that way, we would not have this discussion...


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

I skimmed through the Koko thread and all I can say is "wow!". That place never changes. A few were kind in their responses...but most were very judgemental...
One got banned for saying they wished an abusive partner on the girl and another got banned for calling the forum a bunch of high-brows or something. But another called her a spoiled-heartless brat, and nothing was said...








They are SO inconsistent!
Anyway, I hope that Koko's mom finds an answer....or a new home...


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Msloke_@Oct 9 2005, 11:56 AM
> *Why on earth would ANYONE want to even post on such a negative, unfriendly site?
> 
> 
> ...


That's what I wonder, too. I have to admit that more than a year ago, I posted there because I didn't know about SM and I loved reading and learning about Maltese. Then I got banned, which was a total blessing in disguise, found SM and never looked back. 

We are sooo lucky to have SM. Joe... thank you soooo much!!!!!


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## Caesar's Mommie (Apr 8, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe_@Oct 7 2005, 10:24 PM
> *i had this big long thing typed up about this and decided i wouldnt stoop as low as him but i will say this, his name isnt even Jay, he's not honest from the get go and I wouldnt even say this if he hadnt threatened me and my family in the past, i actually thank him as SM was just a site about Sampson at one point but he pushed me to create something more, something better and I can say I intend to do just that
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]





















You are awesome


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

You know I have often wondered if Jay, or whatever his name is, has a tendencey to self destruct. The more I think about how many people have left that site, including his own wife, I am surprised it actually still attracts anyone. I mean it is moderated by a self opinionatad dragon lady and run by an absolute idiot.
I got banned earlier this year, and it was because I wanted to be banned too so the fools actually did exactly what I wanted them to do, but not before I managed to let miss dragon lady know exactly what I thought of her. I will say though that once I knew I was out of there for good, I promised myself that after being involved in a forum for the first time and finding it most undesirable, I would have rather not get into another one. That was before I was asked by my friend to come here and join in the fun, and I am very grateful to her for being so persistant because I love this site and the people in it, and of course all the furkids too.
I think you are doing a fantastic job here Joe, it must take a lot of your time and patience to keep us up and running as efficiently as you do. The greatest part about your site here Joe is that we are allowed to communicate freely and make our friends without feeling as though we being stood over with a delete button on every post we make.
Congratulations Joe on a great job well done


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom+Oct 9 2005, 11:14 AM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[/B][/QUOTE]
How do you get back on to read after being banned? They banned me so good I only get "Rude people are not welcome here, goodbye!" No great loss, but the Koko thread has me curious!

Joe, why didn't you think to use an alias when you started this forum?

You know what is nice about this forum, I never have to hear the "Popular" members start every post with..."those of us who have been here a long time know...." blah blah blah! They must KNOW Jay's real name!


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## AJ (Jun 5, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom+Oct 9 2005, 06:26 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


How do you get back on to read after being banned? They banned me so good I only get "Rude people are not welcome here, goodbye!" No great loss, but the Koko thread has me curious!

Joe, why didn't you think to use an alias when you started this forum?

You know what is nice about this forum, I never have to hear the "Popular" members start every post with..."those of us who have been here a long time know...." blah blah blah! They must KNOW Jay's real name!
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107923
[/B][/QUOTE]

Go through web warper


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)

I wonder what happened to Bev. She used to post up until this time last year. I wonder if she has had it with him and left?











> _Originally posted by Joe_@Oct 7 2005, 10:24 PM
> *...i will say this, his name isnt even Jay...<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107690*


[/QUOTE]
WHAT??? How weird is that?









I have to ask, how did you find out that isn't his name?



> _Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom_@Oct 9 2005, 05:26 PM
> *You know what is nice about this forum, I never have to hear the "Popular" members start every post with..."those of us who have been here a long time know...." blah blah blah!
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107923*


[/QUOTE]
Haha! I always roll my eyes when I see someone posting that. I guess they must be some kind of Maltese God.


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by AJ+Oct 9 2005, 05:33 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Go through web warper








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107926
[/B][/QUOTE]
Someone said you could get a virus using that??


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Oct 9 2005, 05:36 PM
> *I wonder what happened to Bev.  She used to post up until this time last year.  I wonder if she has had it with him and left?
> 
> 
> ...


*
WHAT??? How weird is that?









I have to ask, how did you find out that isn't his name?




Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom@Oct 9 2005, 05:26 PM
You know what is nice about this forum, I never have to hear the "Popular" members start every post with..."those of us who have been here a long time know...." blah blah blah! 
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107923

Click to expand...

[/QUOTE]
Haha! I always roll my eyes when I see someone posting that. I guess they must be some kind of Maltese God.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107927
*[/QUOTE]
Poor Bev probably got BANNED by Becky!


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom+Oct 9 2005, 05:39 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*
Haha! I always roll my eyes when I see someone posting that. I guess they must be some kind of Maltese God.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107927
*[/QUOTE]
Poor Bev probably got BANNED by Becky!
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107929
[/B][/QUOTE]


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by AJ+Oct 9 2005, 05:33 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Go through web warper








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107926
[/B][/QUOTE]
I'm willing to give it a shot, but how?


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

QUOTE(Nichole @ Oct 9 2005, 05:36 PM)
I wonder what happened to Bev. She used to post up until this time last year. I wonder if she has had it with him and left?

I think Bev left him about this time last year as that is when she disappeared from the site, it was just after that awful hurricane last year that went through down in Florida, she apparently had to move the dogs out to a safer place and I didn't ever see her again. That was about when the site went downhill too from memory.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom+Oct 9 2005, 06:46 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm willing to give it a shot, but how?
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107933
[/B][/QUOTE]

The bottom of page 4 of the thread linked below has the web warper info. I PM'd you in case you didn't get back to this thread.

http://spoiledmaltese.com/forum/index.php?...pic=4444&st=120


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## AJ (Jun 5, 2005)

> > > > > > Why on earth would ANYONE want to even post on such a negative, unfriendly site?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > That's what I wonder, too. I have to admit that more than a year ago, I posted there because I didn't know about SM and I loved reading and learning about Maltese. Then I got banned, which was a total blessing in disguise, found SM and never looked back.
> ...


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## AJ (Jun 5, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Joe_@Oct 7 2005, 11:24 PM
> *i had this big long thing typed up about this and decided i wouldnt stoop as low as him but i will say this, his name isnt even Jay, he's not honest from the get go and I wouldnt even say this if he hadnt threatened me and my family in the past, i actually thank him as SM was just a site about Sampson at one point but he pushed me to create something more, something better and I can say I intend to do just that
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]
Joe, I cant believe that wow....now I'm really curious


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## Lori_G (May 5, 2005)

Well, I have posted about MO before.........calling it MalteseObnoxious.com. Nuf' said.

I was BEYOND happy when I found ya'll. My thanks again to Joe to let us have a forum we are unafraid to be ourselves, and have a common bond with others that love Maltese.























This is, after all a country where many have DIED for the right to speak their minds. Private site or not, he is an italian dictator that needs to go back to communism to appreciate what he has here. He is kind of like the soup Nazi on Seinfeld........NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!! (being banned!)

OOOOooooooooooooooo........was I mincing words too much???????

Jay Bianco is a chit-for-brains IMO.


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

Thanks K&C and AJ for the web warper info.


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## charmypoo (Sep 11, 2004)

> _Originally posted by okw_@Oct 7 2005, 07:34 PM
> *On the other hand, I feel like people on these forums sometimes do have a disconect from younger crowd.  Numerous times I read posts saying that we need to stay home all day long with our dogs --- that is just not the case.  Its perfectly fine to leave the dog at home while you work!!!!!!!!!!*


I think the key is balance and understanding responsibility. My furkids do perfectly fine at home alone but I do prefer someone being there wth them. I know I am young too but I am scared of some of my friends owning pets. I have seen them abandon that cute puppy too many times.


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## charmypoo (Sep 11, 2004)

> _Originally posted by okw_@Oct 7 2005, 11:49 PM
> *Its perfectly acceptable to be a working mom, but not a working furmom?
> 
> 
> ...


You know what I was critized before for working and saying that when I have kids .. I may still work. I don't think I am cut out for a stay at home mom. I was beaten to the ground!

PS: This wasn't on Maltese Forum but another Maltese List. I love the people on that list but just differences in opinions.


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## lethalfire (Sep 7, 2005)

CharmyPoo I am currently a stay at home mom (hubby and I decided it was
best for us) I in no way shape of form will criticize you if you have kids and
decide to work.

I want to pull my hair out on a daily basis due to boredom, never getting a 
break from the kids, and just plain out having no life. I am still seeking something
to help my days go by and something to make my life happier needless to
say I am still searching. But in the mean time my kids are being raised with OUR
morals and we know they are not being abused. 

It probably doesn't help that we moved to this area a year ago and the only 
people I really know is the in-laws. I have never been one that is outgoing
that makes friends very easily







.


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## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

> _Originally posted by CharmyPoo+Oct 10 2005, 09:21 AM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[/B][/QUOTE]

I know what you mean...I had last week (and this week) off because I am doing an externship at another med school and they are on a different schedule. I have been going crazy at home!! I also realize that Miko doesn't need me most of the time. He naps, plays, naps some more with or without me around. That may or may not be true of other malts.

We are probably going to have children in the very near future (I am debating throwing away my pills almost daily) but there is pretty much no way I can stay home more than a month or two. Also, I didn't go through all this schooling just to stay home but that doesn't mean I can't have kids. I personally know lots of people who were raised by working parents and turned out to be well socialized, successful people in life and that's all I would want for my kids. I think the people who would critize working mothers either don't have kids of their own or have kids, chose to stay at home and are not happy about it or are just down right rude. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a working mom -- it sets a great example for your kids and provides food, clothes, etc and independence that is pretty important in my opinion.


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## abkadefkey (Sep 27, 2005)

LethalFire, I know exactly how you feel. 

I was a stay at home Mom for years, until my youngest started 1st grade. When I went back to work, it was so hard. The worst part was being judged badly by my coworkers who were my age and were much higher up the career ladder because they didn't stay at home. They couldn't understand why I did that. I feel like it's a personal choice and you have to do what you feel is best. I certainly didn't judge them for not staying home.

It's kind of a catch 22, the whole to work or not to work debate. When I didn't work, I felt like I had no life outside of my kids. I was at every field trip and every taekwondo practice. I had no friends really and didn't get out much other than getting the kids where they needed to be. But my kids were HAPPY. I was not. Don't get me wrong, I love them, and wanted to be with them. I just felt incomplete and maybe a little isolated. I was so happy when I went back to work, for about a minute and a half. Now I wish I had more time with them. I'm still at every TKD practice, my kids compete and an international level and hope to make the Olympic Team (sorry proud mommy ADD), But I can't always go on the field trips and when they get sick my husband I have to debate who is going to stay with them depending who has vaca time built up.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

In So Cal, stay-at-home moms are few and far between. Most couples need two incomes just to pay their mortgage. The median price for a home in Orange County, alone, is $650,000. As a single mom, I've worked full-time while raising my awesome son. I'm still working full-time and caring for my five fluff-butts, without a problem and without a complaint.

I must say though, I would have nooooooooo problem staying home. I have more work to do at home than I do at work - LOL


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## louise (Sep 10, 2005)

[
My hubby and I also thought it would be best for me to stay home and it was for us. Somethings work for some and not others. we all have to make choices. I'm sure all of us mom only want the best for our kids.


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

I put my profession on hold for eleven years and stayed home with my three. I enjoyed our lifestyle, but, if I had it to do over, I would find time for my career on a part time basis.
My twins are 27. One is a CPA and has no children yet. She has begun to put her life in order (getting away from one of the Big Four firms where 85 hours a week is normal), and does plan to work some when she has children. Her sister needs another year to complete her coursework for her PhD in psychology. She was in her eighth month of pregnancy when she finished an internship and graduated with her last degree. She now has two children, and she teaches two courses at the University of Texas in Tyler. Her husband is a professor there, and the two departments work the schedule so that she drives the children to campus before noon for when he finishes his morning. John takes the children home for lunch and a nap, and she finishes at three. This gives John special time with the children, and Laura gets to continue with something she enjoys. In the near future, I hope to have a daughter-in-law who is is vet school. She and my son have already talked about how she can have a career on a part time basis and have children too. 
So, as you can see, I strongly support women continuing with their career. It can be done, and children do survive. In fact, I think that my children turned out a lot better having a Mom who had a profession and their having to develop responsibility.


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

I have some thoughts and some observations on this subject. 

I was a stay at home mom. It was a choice that my husband and I made together, but mostly it was something that I really wanted to do. I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world, but I do not expect my own daughters to stay home. Instead, I've suggested that they pick career fields that will allow them the flexibility to adapt hours, job share, etc. They may not even want to have kids. Mostly though, I hope they marry men who will have equal flexibility so that if and when they have children that both parents can be involved. 

We need to stop letting our husbands off the hook with raising children. I heartily agree with what LucyLou's daughter and husband are doing. They are sharing the responsibility and that is so important. I am encouraged to see more and more men sharing. I used to HATE it when my husband told people he was babysitting the children. For goodness sake! They are HIS kids. He wasn't watching them for me.....he was doing his part. I let him get away with it because MY job was to stay at home. If I had been working too, things would have been very different.

Stay at home moms don't sit necessarily sit around watching soaps and eating bonbons. I was a major volunteer when my girls were growing up. I was at their school more than 20 hours a week involved in PTA, chorus, room mother program, etc. I was scout leader. This interaction with other adults made sure that I was exercising my brain. We didn't have the money for me to hire a sitter and go out to lunch. I LOVED those years. BUT, I knew plenty of people who were staying home with their kids and making their family life miserable. It is not mandatory that people stay home with their children. Sometimes the kids would be WAY better off with working parents as opposed to stay at home moms who resent the position that they are in. A mommy who feels trapped isn't such a good mommy to be around!

Olga, you and your husband are going to be able to provide quality childcare for your future children and this is a blessing. I know a young woman who plays tennis at my club. She is a physician and hasn't practiced and has no plans to practice. She just had her 3rd baby. Her husband is a surgeon. It isn't any of my business, but it seems like such a shame that she isn't doing something in medicine - even job sharing or volunteering. I remember what my husband went through in dental school and then residency, and I see what my daughter is going through and it just seems like a shame not to use those skills at all. I really regret that my degree wasn't in something like accounting that I could have worked part time if I had wanted to. Mine was in Personnel Mgt and it just didn't translate well to part time work. 

I believe that children deserve their parents' time and interest. I just don't think it has to be with a stay at home mom. I would really like to see more fathers taking an active role. Families need to make a plan that benefits all members.

PS. My brother stayed home with his little boy for the first 2 years. His wife outearned him by a lot, and he was working on a degree at the time.


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom+Oct 9 2005, 06:50 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The bottom of page 4 of the thread linked below has the web warper info. I PM'd you in case you didn't get back to this thread.

http://spoiledmaltese.com/forum/index.php?...pic=4444&st=120
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=107943
[/B][/QUOTE]
It worked fine, but a few minutes in, I got a virus alert, so I gave up. Becky must have spotted me! I went back in, and my cursor had a exclamation point attached to it......hmmmmm.......I think I'll stay out......Any how...I barely saw a name I remembered. Only Missymom and Tabmaltese.


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

My aunt has a degree in finance. She was a manager at a big corp in Chicago. When she had her first child she decided to keep working. But after she had her second child she decided to take an extended maternity leave for 2 years. My aunt was not the type of person you would think would do good as a stay at home mom. OMG! She is awesome. Her youngest (the 2nd child) is now 6 and the oldest is 9. They are great kids. When the 2nd child started preschool my aunt started getting part time jobs. She doesn't really need the money but she just likes to get out of the house. She usually gets seasonal jobs. For example in the fall she works at a pumpkin patch. In fact she is now does their payroll from her house. The people that run the pumpkin patch also have a catering business that she works for sometimes also. My aunt also took a class at the community college in interior design. She loves being a stay at home mom.

When I have kids I hope I'm able to stay at home with them or at least only have to work part time. Luckily I'm in a field that it would be possible to work part time.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)

I love how this topic morphed!









Anyway, I just wanted to add my 2¢. My husband and I have decided not to have children (at least for the far off future). It was a conscientious decision on our parts and I am happy with this decision. You should see the looks and the vicious replies we get when we tell people this! They try to "talk us into it!" I think we know what is best for us and why would anyone would want to do otherwise is beyond me! People feel that if we don't have kids we aren't "complete"--that somehow we aren't a real family if we don't have kids. It really burns me up. Personally, I think people like us should be commended for knowing and having thought through the decision and making a choice that best serves everyone.

Sorry for venting.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom_@Oct 10 2005, 04:18 PM
> *It worked fine, but a few minutes in, I got a virus alert, so I gave up. Becky must have spotted me! I went back in, and my cursor had a exclamation point attached to it......hmmmmm.......I think I'll stay out......Any how...I barely saw a name I remembered. Only Missymom and Tabmaltese.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108118*


[/QUOTE]

Bummer. I know it is frustrating not to be able to get in to a site... just the priciple of it! If you are on a cable modem you may be able to "refresh" your modem and get a new IP address. OR use a computer at a library or other place that has them for public use. It's not that there is one single thing on MO to even waste time reading but it is just the principle of not being able to get in!!


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## Vikki and Audrey (Jan 12, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Oct 10 2005, 03:41 PM
> *I love how this topic morphed!
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

Wow I just started a new thread asking if anyone had decided NOT to have kids!!
How old are you if you don't mind me asking and how long have you been married? Maybe you could answer on the other thread so it's under a relevant heading?? Thanks!!


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## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

Sorry for the complete hijacking of the thread. Faye and Susan, thank you so much for your thoughts on the subject. I really do appreciate it. My husband (who is in my signature -- isn't he cute?) will have more flexible hours and plans to help out with the kids once we have them. He is already a great furdaddy and grew up with 5 sisters and brother so he is showing a lot of promise







.

I think once I know where I have matched (which won't be till middle of March) and if its in the same city as my husband will be, we will probably just go for it. There will never be a good time and if we both have incomes, then we can hire a nanny!

Nichole, I am sorry people are so nasty. Its completely your decision and you shouldn't have to hear things like that.


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## louise (Sep 10, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Oct 10 2005, 04:41 PM
> *I love how this topic morphed!
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

I agree completly with you. I have a sister who is married and they dont plan on having childern. Its not that she wouldnt be a wonderful mother. She is great with kids. My kids love her so much. For reasons of thier own they made that choice, and thats cool with us. By the way i just found out yesterday that my other sister is 7 weeks pregnant.







My first sister couldnt be more excited. she has been on the internet all day plainning on what to buy for the baby. I asked if it would change her mind at all. Nope, she knows what is best for them, but it dosent mean she cant adore the new baby.


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom+Oct 10 2005, 03:45 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Bummer. I know it is frustrating not to be able to get in to a site... just the priciple of it! If you are on a cable modem you may be able to "refresh" your modem and get a new IP address. OR use a computer at a library or other place that has them for public use. It's not that there is one single thing on MO to even waste time reading but it is just the principle of not being able to get in!!
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108124
[/B][/QUOTE]
How in the world did anyone figure out you could "refresh the modem?" Ok, I'm in, how? If I sound stupid.......well.......there's good reason for it!


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

This thread is one of the best I have read in a LONG time!
First, I wanted to say that I found MO immediately after Frosty coming home. I was initially very timid and didn't post. Then when I did post, I was very careful, and anxious, about what I posted. I felt you had to be so careful about everything. There are so many there who somehow have managed to have a life that is ONLY about Malts, and while that may work for some, they critize anyone it doesn't work for.
I LOVE my Frosty. I also love my God, husband, three wonderful children, dachschund, and Kitty. I have been a stay at home mother since my 3rd child was 2 months old (I had to go back for 1 month to train a replacement before going part-time, until moving and becoing a complete stay at home mom). I have priorities that INCLUDE my malt, not EXCLUSIVE to my malt.
I have had the experience to be a full time working mother, part time working mother, a stay at home mom, and am back to being a part time working mom. I could not say that any situation is better than another. What I can say is that every situation requires different things.
I ALWAYS knew I wanted to be a mother. I was young (only 19) when I had my first child. Newly married (only 8 months, I know time wise doesn't work out, but I thank GOD every day for the way my life has progressed), my husband and I both had to work to support our family. I was lucky to have a family member to watch my first son, until I was able to find a suitable situation. By the time I had my second child, I had a wonderful babysitter just minutes from my job. I loved my job, and I loved being a mom. I felt like I was getting the best of both worlds. When my 3rd child was born, the cost of daycare was equal to my earnings for the time that my children were there. I was fortunate enough to work for a company that values family as well as it's employees. I was able to go to part-time on a flex schedule. Who could ask for anything more.
Then, my husband got another job that moved us 400 miles from home, and everyone we knew. I became a full time stay at home mother at that point. Where things always good? Not by any means. 
The point I am getting at is I think people who judge for ANY reason are ignorant or life circumstances/privileges. I do not believe that all people should have children. I do not believe everyone wants children, nor do I think anyone should try to talk people into having children. I think part of our problem in this country is some people have been talked into the "American dream" of a house & kids. People who didn't trully want children think they are missing something, have kids, and then can not take proper care of them. JMO.
I think everyone has to make their own choices about what works/is necessary in their own life. No one has a right to judge that!
Wow, to think of where my reply began....and where it has ended.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Baxter and Wally's Mom+Oct 10 2005, 05:04 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*
*[/QUOTE]
How in the world did anyone figure out you could "refresh the modem?" Ok, I'm in, how? If I sound stupid.......well.......there's good reason for it!
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108137
[/B][/QUOTE]

It doesn't always work but I would suggest calling your internet provider and have them walk you through it. I'm not sure about Windows XP but when I was on Win 98 I would click on Start, then Run then type in winipfg (not 100% sure that is the exact thing!!) and then go to Ethernet and then to Renew... I'm using a Mac right now so I can't try it to give you the exact instructions but when I get home I can so PM me if you are on cable modem and want exact instructions. I don't know how it works for DSL, etc. only cable modems. Sometimes it gives you the same IP address and sometimes a different one. One day all of a sudden, my IP address had changed by itself and I could then get in to MO.


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## Baxter and Wally's Mom (Aug 18, 2005)

I'll see if the hub can do it, if not I'll PM you. I wish I had computer brain! Thanks!


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## charmypoo (Sep 11, 2004)

> _Originally posted by lethalfire_@Oct 10 2005, 12:09 PM
> *I want to pull my hair out on a daily basis due to boredom, never getting a
> break from the kids, and just plain out having no life.  I am still seeking something
> to help my days go by and something to make my life happier needless to
> ...


It is so tough to be a stay at home mom. I don't think I can do it. I get frustrated spending the day at home cleaning the house, doing laundry .. I watch desperate housewives and I think it is such a tough job. 

If I had the option, I would love to raise my kids too. My parents have never been around







and I really wish they were.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

I am a working skin/furbaby mommy and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I admire people who want/can stay at home, but it isn't for me.
Despite what many people feel about the differences in stay at home mom vs. day care...I feel like my kids have turned out ok....

They were both in quality Christian daycare/pre-schools...from the age of 15 months. I picked them up as soon as I was done at work/school...which at the latest on meeting days was 4:00. Usually I got in trouble with the kids b/c I picked them up just as snack time was ending and outside play was starting...so they got aggravated at me.









Now that they are both in school, they come to me when school is out...we are together the rest of the night. I am very involved in my kids' lives...
I feel like that is one of my teacher perks. We are off on the same holidays and in/out of school/work at the same time. 
I thrive on stress and busy-ness...(but not in the form of housework and laundry!







) In my opinion, teaching gives me the best of both worlds.

I think each of us is wired differently. What makes one happy, may not necessarily do it for another. I don't think my kids have been slighted in any way-but I definitely admire the moms that stay at home. 
I just wish so many people wouldn't look down on us working moms.


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

> _Originally posted by tlunn_@Oct 10 2005, 05:07 PM
> *I just wish so many people wouldn't look down on us working moms.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108164*


[/QUOTE]


I don't understand how working moms can be looked down on. When working, I was still the primary caregiver for our children. I was the one to wake them up, get them ready, get them breakfast, and then get them to daycare. Oh yeah!, I had to make sure that I got myself ready too. I remember one morning getting up a little late, and somehow forgetting to brush my teeth! I realized on the drive to daycare, so after dropping the kids off I stopped at the convenient store to pick up a toothbrush and toothpaste. I tried to not speak to anyone when I first got to work that morning







.
MOM in any form or fashion is tough work.


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

> _Originally posted by hambys97_@Oct 10 2005, 07:14 PM
> *MOM in any form or fashion is tough work.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108202*


[/QUOTE]

amen to that, my wife and mom are the 2 greatest people i know







for all they do or have done everyday


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## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

I think its kind of funny that there are two topic within this thread!! I hope the people who are sticking to the MO topic aren't too upset about this whole "having children" intrusion. If you are, please let me know. 

I clearly got nothing done today







.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Msloke+Oct 10 2005, 07:16 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


*
*[/QUOTE]
Can't you just re-register using a new user name and email address? On AOL, we have 7 user names. BTW, I registered with a email address I rarely use and a different user name, except I forget what the user name is







But I can still read topics, just never post to them.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108203
[/B][/QUOTE]

The only way to re-register is to have a different IP address. When you first register at MO or sign in, the IP address is saved by Jay. So when you are banned "big time" you cannot even get on the site at all. I couldn't even get on to the Maltese Only info portion. So, the only way to re-register is to have a different IP address. I have a new IP address and could register if I wanted to but there is no way in this world I would subject myself to being a member of his site nor contribute in any small way to its success. I skim it a couple times a month to see if there are any controversial threads!


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Well, I could get in if I chose to do so by simply using hubby's computer, but to be quite honeset I have no ambition to do so. I am very happy just being here and going back there just isn't for me at all....


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## TheButtercup (Mar 3, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Oct 10 2005, 03:41 PM
> *I love how this topic morphed!
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

i'm right there with ya. whenever i mention my absolute-zero desire to have kids, people are always like "oh you're young, you'll change your mind..." well, i'm 34, still dont particularly care for small children, and most importantly, i recognize the small luxuries i'd have to give up in order to be a good mom. by "luxuries" i mean: the spontenaity (sp?) of last-minute travel, sleeping in (past 8am lol), going out with my girlfriends and being completely irresponsible for an evening, eating all the crap i want without having to think "should i REALLY be having ice cream and cookies for dinner when i'm telling my kid how s/he should be eating all their veggies?", etc etc. i love my independence, and that's always been a huge part of who i am; it just isnt for me to give that up to be tied down with a family. 

dont get me wrong, i admire the heck out of moms, any moms! single moms ROCK, they work harder than i think i'm even capable of working.... i gained a much better appreciation for moms who travel after a couple of instances in airports seeing single moms with two kids...flight delays...connecting flights...juggling baby/stroller/babybag/toddler/purse/tickets/etc.... for me, it would be unfair for my child to think i could "do it" and "do it" well. maybe part of it comes from being adopted and i dont want to have a baby unless i'm 10000% certain i am able to raise it *right*, you know? 

wow, i sure had a bowl full of babble for dinner tonight, didnt i? sorry









ann marie and the "only child, too!" buttercup


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Oct 10 2005, 01:41 PM
> *I love how this topic morphed!
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]


Nichole, my husband and I are childfree by choice too, and I hear ya sister! I have been told that I am selfish, a child hater, and I am constantly questioned.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

When I was married, my husband and I decided we didn't want kids. Long story. Anyway, I've been divorced for more than 20 years. Now in my 50s I wish I did have kids. How nice it would be to have grown children in their 20s or 30s now. As it is, I am pretty much on my own. My parents are deceased and all my relatives live in other states. I have a few great friends, but they have their families and their lives so there are times when I am lonely and wish I had grown children and grandchildren.

However, I never could quite picture myself raising kids. I never thought I was cut out for it. And muscular dystrophy runs in my family and I would have had to have genetic testing to see if I am a carrier of the gene, etc. So, that sort of kept me from wanting to have kids, also. It's weird though.... if I were about 15 years younger I think I would want to adopt one or two children from China. Now, finally, in my 50s I think I wouldn't mind having kids. 

So, those of you who have decided not to... just make sure you are 100% sure of your decision....I truly think there are more people who regret not having them than regret having them.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom_@Oct 10 2005, 07:16 PM
> *So, those of you who have decided not to... just make sure you are 100% sure of your decision....I truly think there are more people who regret not having them than regret having them.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108232*


[/QUOTE]

I agree....
I don't know that I have EVER met anyone who regretted having their kids...but several who wished they HAD....


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Oct 10 2005, 02:41 PM
> *I love how this topic morphed!
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]

I know exactly what you mean and couldn't agree with you more!


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

Children can bring a lot of joy but they can also bring a lot of heartache. And if you don't feel like you want to raise kids, so what, it's your choice, you have the right to be selfish. It's nobody elses business. Maybe the ones that tell you you should have kids and say you are selfish envy your freedom to do as you please. 

K/C even if you had kids it's no garanty that you won't end up being alone anyway. How many people are out there that have kids and never see them ? You would be surprised how many people are in nursing homes and never get a visit from their kids.


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## Lori_G (May 5, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Deanna+Oct 10 2005, 08:01 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Nichole, my husband and I are childfree by choice too, and I hear ya sister! I have been told that I am selfish, a child hater, and I am constantly questioned.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108223
[/B][/QUOTE]

I applaud you for being so honest, and for recognizing that kids are not for you.
If it is not for you, the kids ultimately would suffer, nes pas?
So, I think it is a RESPONSIBLE decision.
















I am a nurse, and worked pediatrics for a time. I saw my share of neglected kids, and kids that were well taken care of. Parents come in all shapes, sizes and moralities. I was always happy to see neglectful parents give the kids up if it meant them having a happy home life. The children ultimately will benefit.

So, don't fret over your decision. It is, after all..........YOUR decision. NO ONE ELSE!
I am 55. I could not have children of my own. I have always wanted children. I have a step-daughter, and helped raise my great-niece. But I accept my fate in that department. 

I think at 34, you probably know what you want.


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## charmypoo (Sep 11, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom_@Oct 10 2005, 07:16 PM
> *So, those of you who have decided not to... just make sure you are 100% sure of your decision....I truly think there are more people who regret not having them than regret having them.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108232*


[/QUOTE]

You still have Kallie and Catcher who will love you forever and ever


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## abkadefkey (Sep 27, 2005)

> _Originally posted by MalteseJane_@Oct 10 2005, 11:09 PM
> *Children can bring a lot of joy but they can also bring a lot of heartache. And if you don't feel like you want to raise kids, so what, it's your choice, you have the right to be selfish. It's nobody elses business. Maybe the ones that tell you you should have kids and say you are selfish envy your freedom to do as you please.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108283*


[/QUOTE]

It could also be that they get so much joy from having kids and truly can't fathom a life without them. Maybe they mean well and just don't want to see you miss out on there joy. I know I personally didn't want kids growing up, then I had my OOOPS when I was 17. Now, I can't even imagine my life without them. But, that just goes back to what someone else said about people needing to respect other peoples choices.

I do firmly believe that you should make that choice and no one should try to force their way on you. Most of the people of my husbands generation in his family have chosen not to have kids. They're married. They have happy productive lives, just no kids. But every holiday morphes into the same subject, the older generations pressuring his cousins about their decisions. I love the cousins. They are great people and I think they would make great parents. They are all so great with my kids and with their furkids. They spoil them rotten every chance they get. But it is their choice. Who am I to judge them for that?


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by CharmyPoo+Oct 11 2005, 12:48 AM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You still have Kallie and Catcher who will love you forever and ever








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=108299
[/B][/QUOTE]

Awwww, you are soooo right. I truly don't know what I'd do without them. When I got my first Maltese in 1990 I was very depressed .... I was so lonely living all by myself. I wanted a dog so badly. Because I lived in a historic district at that time, my condo had no elevator and I was on the 3rd floor. I couldn't imagine how I could have a dog. A serendipitous meeting with someone who had a malt totally changed my life. I got Rosebud soon thereafter and my depression was gone and I was like a new person. Kallie and Catcher (and Rosebud before them) have enriched my life so much!


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## Vanitysmom (Jun 9, 2005)

You know what I was critized before for working and saying that when I have kids .. I may still work. I don't think I am cut out for a stay at home mom. I was beaten to the ground!

I wish that I had had the option of being able to be home with my children when they were young.....we needed two incomes to be able to survive. That was 30 years ago....I cannot even image what the costs are now. I probably would not be able to afford my children...LOLOL


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom_@Oct 11 2005, 10:55 AM
> *A serendipitous meeting*


>Joe goes off to find dictionary


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## AJ (Jun 5, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Joe+Oct 11 2005, 12:48 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[/B][/QUOTE]























Hope this helps

http://www.answers.com/serendipitous&r=67


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## Littlemans Mom (Apr 6, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Joe+Oct 11 2005, 12:48 PM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[/B][/QUOTE]


Did you find it yet


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe+Oct 11 2005, 11:48 AM-->
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[/B][/QUOTE]


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## micaela (Jan 7, 2006)

: HI everyone,

First of all I want to say I'm a new maltese owner, when I got my baby i really wasn't even planning on getting a maltese but it was fate, believe me,







I live in Korea and I traveled 2 hours by train to this place in seoul korea where they sell all kinds of pets,its a street with nothing but petshops, I mean left and right about 3 blocks. I knew i wanted a puppy more like a chihuahua but when I got there fell in love with a Yorkie, I bought him from one of the petshops there and brought him home, he got really sick poor thing and I not knowing much about Yorkies took him back to the petshop when he started getting sick, the owner a Korean told me to leave him there and come back in 2 weeks







I was so confunsed that I did just that







I should've just taking him to the vet!!! Well we went back 2 weeks later and when I got there the Korean man in sign language because i dont speak a word of Korean told us he had passed





















My heart sunk!!! I felt so guilty cause in my heart I knew i should've taken him to the vet. anyways so the reason I'm telling you all this is to tell you all how I found out about MO, in those 2 terrible weeks I searched the web and came across MO, I read and read mostly about young puppies getting sick and the signs.







I went back to pick up Georgie (my baby Yorkie) and was told that he had passed







He pretty much told me to get another puppy or nothing I told him all i wanted was my money but because of our language problem we could not understand each other so he had other Yorkies but because of the experiense and researched i did on Yorkies I didn't want to go trough that again, so he had 3 maltese and my Chiquito was picked out I love him to pieces, I then decided to join MO since now i was official maltese owner. At first I was mostly reading MO but then i had questions and posted it, no one was really answering, I decided to make a new topic and ask about maltese and Kids since I do have 3 kids and it wasn't even post it, and I pretty much got tired of them saying every answer was "wainting for aproval". I started to searched again and found SM, wonderful site!!!







I joined about 1 week ago and am so happy







2 days ago I tried to read MO and guess what?







When I tried to sign in it tells me "my account has been suspended", ???????














I really don't care but i never even got to post anything and the one time i tried to ask anything it didn't even go through, but i am glad i found this site, and hope to learn all about maltese. They suck in MO!!!


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## Kisses-4-Princess (Dec 4, 2005)

wait until you hear this.!!!!!

When I knew I was getting a maltese, I started doing all sorts of research. I found MO and always read the posts for weeks, then when I got my puppy, she past away and we went through a HORRIBLE ordeal. I decided to write about it there just to warn people. Basically, there is a person in Cali that claims that she is a breeder and she traffics sick puppies from puppy mills, provides fake shot records and pedigrees for the puppies and resells them. We also found that she was using fake names. She was recommended to us by many people, who didn't know of her "other side" since they were lucky and had healthy puppies. Well, after a few days, someone of MO wrote back saying thet same thing happend to her!!! that she had bought a puppy from this same person and her puppy was very sick and that she is trying to get a hold of me. I tried to get a hold of her because I was trying to report this person to the SPCA and the humane society and if this happened to more people, we can work together to help find her. I wrote back asking her to contact me and I was banned!

I was determined to find her- it was a sense of hope for me since maybe that poster knew more than I did and she can help me bring this breeder to court. Everything I wrote got banned. I wrote MO a note saying that, I would just like to contact that other poster so we can help eachother out! I see that they make exceptions to thier rules all the time and if there was any time for an exception, the dead of an innocent puppy should be one! don't they understand how severe this crime is and we are two strangers that was victim to the same breeder and just want to help eachother out yet MO will not give us any way to contact eachother. So I started posted gibberish like " craigslist is very informational" and kept randomly putting " craigslist " in my post hoping that the other user would catch on. I posted an add in craigslist asking her to get a hold of me from there. after 2 weeks, she found me! she called and and told me she has been trying to look for me since she saw my post but everything she posted got banned. she was so fed up. But then she wanted to read up on my story so she went back and noticed how I randomly referred to "craigslist" and went there to look for me and she found me...!!

To make the long story short, we worked together and found about 3 more people who were victims of this breeder and put all of our informatin together to find this breeder's real identity and got compesation for what we have been through. I found SM after MO and have been here sense, even though I do not have a new maltese yet. The people are are just so great! they are all trying to help me bring my new baby home ( she will be here in FEB WHOO HOOO!!). They saved me to buying from possible bad breeders and sent me info on the reputable ones. everyone here is courteous and the amount of expertise here is impeccable. But the best thing about it is its a true forum- you can say whatever you want!!


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

> When I was married, my husband and I decided we didn't want kids. Long story. Anyway, I've been divorced for more than 20 years. Now in my 50s I wish I did have kids. How nice it would be to have grown children in their 20s or 30s now. As it is, I am pretty much on my own. My parents are deceased and all my relatives live in other states. I have a few great friends, but they have their families and their lives so there are times when I am lonely and wish I had grown children and grandchildren.
> 
> However, I never could quite picture myself raising kids. I never thought I was cut out for it. And muscular dystrophy runs in my family and I would have had to have genetic testing to see if I am a carrier of the gene, etc. So, that sort of kept me from wanting to have kids, also. It's weird though.... if I were about 15 years younger I think I would want to adopt one or two children from China. Now, finally, in my 50s I think I wouldn't mind having kids.
> 
> So, those of you who have decided not to... just make sure you are 100% sure of your decision....I truly think there are more people who regret not having them than regret having them.[/B]


This is a bit off topic and i'm sorry if this offends you (it really shouldnt)... ever since I have met you and read your posts... I always thought you were in your late 20s early 30s...







I must be obvious to posts that you talked about your age... i'm sorry.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=108232
> 
> 
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No problem, Kodie's Mom.... Truly, I feel like I'm in my 30s most of the time!


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=139222
> 
> 
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BTW... you defiantly are a lot more "hipper" than my parents... and they are around your age. Even your signature is creative.. my parents would never figure out how to do that! lol You certainly dont act your age...







in a GOOD way!!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=139279
> 
> 
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No problem, Kodie's Mom.... Truly, I feel like I'm in my 30s most of the time!








[/B][/QUOTE]

BTW... you defiantly are a lot more "hipper" than my parents... and they are around your age. Even your signature is creative.. my parents would never figure out how to do that! lol You certainly dont act your age...







in a GOOD way!!
[/B][/QUOTE]

Hey, thanks!! I appreciate it!! I work in a work environment that is "young" and creative, so I have to seem hip and with it or I'd be outa there!!


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## AmyGil (Jan 6, 2006)

I would just to say how much I LOVE SM, I found Maltese only before I found this site, and I found it very, well scary. I knew I couldnt post becuase Kita is a Maltese CROSS. I love her still and I just wanted a community where I could show her off but I was afraid I would get banned or something. but about the whoule " too young to be a malt owner" idea. I think maturity is way more of a mental thing. I am 16 and Kita is my second malt. My frist was a purebred but was bought from a breeder that I wish not to go into details about, and she really was a laerning dog. She was my frist dog that was my own. and now I am on my second dog and she really is perfect. I can go to school ( only in the mornings becuase I am a dropout loser) and then come home and still have tons of time with my furbaby. I dont feel like this forum is just for " older stay at home moms" but very welcoming to anyone. I cannot say the same for Maltese only. just my two cents, I hope it makes sence, sort of rambling.


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## Boobookit (Dec 3, 2005)

Yes, I have to say that when I first got Pacino I found MO first and joined. I had problems on that site from the beginning, I had problems with my password, etc. and when I required about it the moderators were downright rude!! I don't think I was banned but my posts wouldn't go through and when they did people were curt, to the point and short of rude. Some of the people were nice but I was disenchanted to say the least.

When I first found this site I was very cautious...I read posts but was not answering too many because I was assuming that the responses would be curt and to the point as it was there. I did get some information that I was looking for though from MO but it really wasn't worth the hassle.

But as I studied this site I realized that this was a totally different forum and for that I am grateful! Yes, we must thank Joe for the wonderful job that he has done here (thank you, Joe!!) but we really must also thank each other for being the kind, helpful, considerate people that we are.....no one bashes anyone else and we are all concerned about each other and our furbabies!!

As far as Koko, yes, I read that when I was on there and it made my heart ache.....I wasn't sure if it was someone just trying to get attention or what but I read the responses and it was painful to say the least. If that is true, I certainly hope that Koko gets to live the life that this furbaby deserves and not what it has been going through. I would take that furbaby in a heartbeat!!

Thank you, Joe, again and thank you all for this wonderful site.

Marie & Pacino



> I would just to say how much I LOVE SM, I found Maltese only before I found this site, and I found it very, well scary. I knew I couldnt post becuase Kita is a Maltese CROSS. I love her still and I just wanted a community where I could show her off but I was afraid I would get banned or something. but about the whoule " too young to be a malt owner" idea. I think maturity is way more of a mental thing. I am 16 and Kita is my second malt. My frist was a purebred but was bought from a breeder that I wish not to go into details about, and she really was a laerning dog. She was my frist dog that was my own. and now I am on my second dog and she really is perfect. I can go to school ( only in the mornings becuase I am a dropout loser) and then come home and still have tons of time with my furbaby. I dont feel like this forum is just for " older stay at home moms" but very welcoming to anyone. I cannot say the same for Maltese only. just my two cents, I hope it makes sence, sort of rambling.[/B]


You are NOT a drop out loser so please don't say that anymore. You are doing things your way and that makes you unique!! You have tons of potential and wonderful insight for a 16 year old!! Keep plodding along, my friend, and keep on loving that adorable furbaby that you have...we all here are with you 110%!!

Your friends,
Marie & Pacino


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## wagirl98665 (Jan 5, 2006)

Been there done that and all I want to say is hooray for SM!


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

I would just like to say that the first site I found was MO and I joined a long time ago. Back then it was actually a pleasant place to be, but that changed when the owner's wife disappeared from the scene. Prior that happening it was actually easy to post and as long as you didn't break the rules, at the time you could see your posts almost immediately. There were some good people in there and friendly too, and the owner's wife was just so nice, very friendly and a great lady with good knowledge of Maltese and you could also have what ever breed and post about them. Once she left things became very different and I honestly think the owner became a bitter, insecure and nasty person. The good people began leaving or were banned rapidly and the site went from a nice place to a very unpleasant place to go to. I will say this once I found SM I have no desire to even go back to that other place, not even to see what is going on there, unlike some who are curious and do go back there for a look, or perhaps to seek a friend they may have there. My loyalty now lies here with SM and all the good people here and also Joe who has given us a wonderful friendly place to come to, who needs that other place anyway when we have such a fantastic home here.


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## AmyGil (Jan 6, 2006)

Thank you Pacino's Mommy







your furbaby is adorable by the way!


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## wizzyb (May 24, 2005)

I have been very lucky to never having deal with the horrors that I have heard about Maltese Only. The night that I got Codi, my best friend went online looking for a Maltese forum for me. He had suggested to me to check this forum out. After a few weeks, once things started to settle down tihe Codi, I came to SpoiledMaltese to take a look and was instantly impressed at what a warm welcoming place this was to visit. This has been the first forum I have ever been a member to and it was been a wonderful experience. 

Thanks to everyone for being so warm, welcoming and helpful.


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## Boobookit (Dec 3, 2005)

> Thank you Pacino's Mommy
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Pacino said "Thank you very much" And you are quite welcome but you don't need to thank me as I was just speaking the truth!

Your furbaby is truly gorgeous!!

Marie & (blushing) Pacino


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## chocolatecoffee (Sep 1, 2005)

I have to agree with all of you, SM is MUCH better than MO. The way it's moderated is a complete joke, and I didn't find it informative at all. I tend to be a lurker on various pet forums, but I just completely stopped going there, even before I found SM. I'm glad SM is around!


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## justcurious (Nov 16, 2005)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=139222
> 
> 
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Kallie & Catcher's mom -- have you considered becoming a foster parent? That would allow you a good opportunity to have children live with you, typically until they are adopted or until they are allowed to return to their parents.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=139279
> 
> 
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No problem, Kodie's Mom.... Truly, I feel like I'm in my 30s most of the time!








[/B][/QUOTE]


Kallie & Catcher's mom -- have you considered becoming a foster parent? That would allow you a good opportunity to have children live with you, typically until they are adopted or until they are allowed to return to their parents.
[/B][/QUOTE]

No, I really have not considered being a foster parent for several reasons. One is that I work full time but the most important reason is that I know nothing about kids. I would think that they would want foster parents to have experience, and I believe they should. I have really never spent a large amount of time around kids at all. Thanks so very much for the thought though.... I certainly admire people who are foster parents.


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