# Sad and Frustrated



## Lovkins mama (Dec 15, 2011)

So I went and meet with Marli today and took Sir Lovkins we sat over there for a little over an hour and he wanted nothing to do with her. If she sat next to him he moved. If she tried to play with him he moved. When she got close to me he moved her out of the way. She never barked at him or anything. She just looked happy. I felt so bad and embarassed Lovkins has never ignored another dog EVER. I don't understand. I wanted so badly to bring home a companigan (sp) for him. She was so sweet and just wanted to love on me. I have a headache now and don't know what to do. :angry:


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## babycake7 (Jan 30, 2012)

Oh don't give up! I am sure that you were hoping that he would be overjoyed to meet her but at least they weren't fighting. Dogs are like people and sometimes it takes a few tries to figure each other out. Are you not going to get her now or is there further opportunity for you to visit again with Sir Lovkins? I bet if he gets along well with most other dogs, after a few visits, they will be totally in love. Wishing you good luck...


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

Don't be too discouraged! When we brought Paxton home, Axel couldn't stand him! It took about a week, but now they are BEST BUDDIES! You seldom see one without the other. It just takes a little while sometimes.


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## mostlytina (Jan 3, 2009)

hahaha... sorry to laugh... I can just picture that... so cute...
It might take a while for Sir Lovkins to warm up. When I bring my second girl home, Sofia wanted to have NOTHING to do with her. The following day we woke up. She actually gave me "the look" when she saw Destiny was still there. It also took about a week for Sofia to warm up... Now, they are best buds.


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

It sounds like he is happy to have mommy all to himself and doesn't need a companion. 

As JMM always tells us, it's never a good idea to get another one just as a companion for the first one. If you really want another one, perhaps you can keep trying.


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## hoaloha (Jan 27, 2012)

Tina, I'm sorry to hear your disappointment  We often have such high hopes that things will go ideally, but, as the others pointed out, sometimes it takes a little time. I hope you don't give up if you truly want another fluff. Marli sounds SO sweet and it sounds like Sir Lovkins was indifferent. Maybe try again? :hug:


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Christina - I agree with Marj. You need to know that you're getting another dog because you want one in your family, not as a companion to Sir Lovkins. But if that's so, I would say that wasn't a bad start at all. There didn't seem to be tension, just some avoidance but if the girl was happy and friendly that's a definite plus. I think that sometimes as parents we superimpose what we imagine that we want or expect from our kids rather than take it as it comes. I used to hope my DS would love to do things I liked or thought he should like. But it's not always that way and we have to give them time and space to discover on their own. Most fluffs on here who got a sibling needed a period of adjustment and they are just fine now. If she's the girl for you, then I would proceed.


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## Lovkins mama (Dec 15, 2011)

I loved her but there is a bit of apprehension maybe I thought I was ready? Maybe Im more upset with myself because I thought it was gonna be perfect. The caretaker did say we were welcome to come back as many times as we liked. So that is still an option. I think I got overwhelmed with the thought of taking care of two fluffs and loving two fluffs, how will I spread my love evenly? I did not think it would take so much out of me mentally. Sorry to ramble. Im just embarassed at my own behavior.


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

Snowbody said:


> Christina - I agree with Marj. You need to know that you're getting another dog because you want one in your family, not as a companion to Sir Lovkins. But if that's so, I would say that wasn't a bad start at all. There didn't seem to be tension, just some avoidance but if the girl was happy and friendly that's a definite plus. I think that sometimes as parents we superimpose what we imagine that we want or expect from our kids rather than take it as it comes. I used to hope my DS would love to do things I liked or thought he should like. But it's not always that way and we have to give them time and space to discover on their own. Most fluffs on here who got a sibling needed a period of adjustment and they are just fine now. If she's the girl for you, then I would proceed.


What Susan said!:thumbsup:


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Kinda like kids,if they think they're just visiting they play, if they think they're going to stay then they get confused about the change. They'll grow to be buds. Mine did, though they still growl at each other sometimes.


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

Lovkins mama said:


> I loved her but there is a bit of apprehension maybe I thought I was ready? Maybe Im more upset with myself because I thought it was gonna be perfect. The caretaker did say we were welcome to come back as many times as we liked. So that is still an option. I think I got overwhelmed with the thought of taking care of two fluffs and loving two fluffs, how will I spread my love evenly? I did not think it would take so much out of me mentally. Sorry to ramble. Im just embarassed at my own behavior.


You are so sweet to want to rescue a fluff. But maybe you were wanting it because you thought Lovkins needed a companion, which he obviously does not. If you are feeling this apprehensive, then maybe the time is not right. Although, on my way to get Steve and then after I picked him up, I felt like puking with my feelings of "OMG what the heck did I just do?" But I had prayed about it before and got the feeling it was going to be ok. But I had serious doubts. But look at us now! But make sure you're getting her for you, and take comfort in the fact that you'd be giving a home to a fluff in need, and I'm sure Lovkins will come around. But also know this baby will be ok if you don't take her, and when the time IS right, there will ALWAYS be more fluffs to rescue.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Don't be embarrassed. :grouphug: Parenthood, either skin or pup, is one of the hardest things we ever do in life. It feels like every move we make is so much bigger than it is because we care so very much and want things to be perfect. And yes, it becomes overwhelming. But sometimes we just have to take big deep breaths and jump back in the pool and realize that love will guide the way when it comes to family. Don't be harsh on yourself and I think you should give it another few tries. If they're saying you can come back several times, obviously they know things like this can happen.


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## Zoe's Mom88 (Apr 25, 2011)

I agree with everyone. If you really want another fluff then you would have to give them time together and they would bond for sure. Don't beat yourself up over it you did nothing wrong.....there was no harm done. Go with your heart!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Kitzel didn't want anything, and I mean anything, to do w/Liesl at first. You have probably seen the pix. of how they love each other now. We really got Lisi to be DH's dog---so it wasn't for Kitzel's benefit. Move w/your heart.


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## Snuggle's Mom (Jan 3, 2008)

And Snuggles would not even come into the same room with Chrissy for a good number of months!!! We had lost our beloved Angel in the middle of December, picked up Chrissy at the end of February and that was apparently way too soon for Snuggles since she was greiving over the loss of her buddy Angel. Don't worry Sir Lovekins will come around in due time...just have patience and everything will work out for everyone.


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## LuvMyBoys (Jan 2, 2012)

Don't give up!! If you really want another dog don't give up. Sir Lovkins will come around, it might take time and lots of patience, but he will come around.


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

In all honesty, Lovkins and Marli will eventually get along. I really don't think that having two is any more difficult than having one. Mine go to the groomers together, the vet together, and best of all play I together! The baths take longer because of three, but I'm lucky that Hardy and Violet don't tangle or mat. It's wonderful to watch them play and explore outside together. You get a discount on more than one dog with Pet Plan also! I know that I sound like a commercial for more than one fluff, but I love love love having three! It's you decision, but thought I'd tell you how I feel. Don't feel embarrassed, we don't live at your house. You're the one that will be taking care of them. By the way, I saw a little fluff on a rescue site that looked exactly like Lovkins!!! So cute!!!! Good luck with whatever you decide!


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## aprilb (Jul 9, 2010)

You've received great advice..I remember when I got the second one, I was nervous about it. There was an adjustment period..but I'm so glad I had two..it was so much easier than I thought it would be..and I love having 3. I got my Eva 4 months ago..and another adjustment period..all three of my girls are best friends..they are a laugh a minute and I love having 3.:wub: 
I agree with the others that the first meeting went well. I also agree that if you want another, go for it, but don't do it because you think your first baby needs a companion. Like Sandi said, "follow your heart".


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## TLR (Nov 13, 2011)

I think I understand your indecision. I keep thinking I want another one and then wonder how I could possibly love another one as much I as I love Ben. I know that seems silly, but I do have these thoughts and also wonder if I have the time to take care of another one. Ben isn't the most outgoing and though I take him everywhere with me, did obedience and arrange play dates with friends that have dogs, he still will not have anything to do with them. He just wants to sit on my lap anytime another dog is around. I am sure if there was a sister here full time he would adjust and love it. I say if you are getting another one for you, just take your time and make sure it has the personality to fits into your lifestyle.


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## Lovkins mama (Dec 15, 2011)

Thank you everybody. I feel much better. What is meant to be is meant to be.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Lovkins mama said:


> Thank you everybody. I feel much better. What is meant to be is meant to be.


 
Oh bless your heart, oh please don't be down, honest. You can keep having these little meet ups which do help.

The full picture, we really be known when they are both home with you (if that's what you decide to do), it does take some transitioning, time wise varies, but then you will be wondering, how in the world were you two not meant to be togehter :wub:

My dear Flakey (RIP) when we got our little Tina Marie (RIP), hid under the bed, lord knows how long, then he decided to prance out to the living room, look me straight in the face, lift his leg and tinkel :HistericalSmiley: I will never forget it. From that point on, he watched over Tina Maire, and loved her so much. She sadly passed before he did and he truly missed her.

I guess his little tinkle show, was his sign of acceptance, I have no idea, he was one special boy.

Do not be discouraged.

hugs and love,
Christine


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## gopotsgo (May 21, 2009)

allheart said:


> Oh bless your heart, oh please don't be down, honest. You can keep having these little meet ups which do help.
> 
> The full picture, we really be known when they are both home with you (if that's what you decide to do), it does take some transitioning, time wise varies, but then you will be wondering, how in the world were you two not meant to be togehter :wub:
> 
> ...


OMG Christine! That was hysterical! Flakey was some dude.
Regarding getting another pup. As already mentioned, get another one if YOU want one, not because you want a playmate for your existing pup. Be prepared to accept that they may never be BFF. When we added Audrey, there were a couple of fights. I thought my world was ending. Both Lily and Audrey are alpha females, they take turns peeing on each other's pees. But they got used to each other. They don't play but they do keep each other company when we are away. And when we started fostering Stormy, they both got a little more chummy with each other, LOL, solidarity and all that. But then Audrey started to play with Stormy. Amazing to us because she rarely plays with any dog. I must admit it was a big factor on deciding to adopt Stormy. Good luck.


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## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

Dear Christina do not be embaressed this is why we are all here for each other  anyhow just to tell yoy when we brought Becky home 5 weeks ago I thought they would kill each other and Luna my oldest did the same thing the first few days avoid and also growl then we had some dog fighhts here but now things are slowly falling into place so do not be discouraged 

Anna xoxo


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

Ladysmom said:


> It sounds like he is happy to have mommy all to himself and doesn't need a companion.
> 
> As JMM always tells us, it's never a good idea to get another one just as a companion for the first one. If you really want another one, perhaps you can keep trying.


I second that. Don't add another dog as a companion for the one you already have. Not all dogs want a companion. I think adding another dog as "a companion" is an excuse to justify that YOU want another dog.


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## SammieMom (Nov 13, 2010)

Hi Christina,
I'm no dog expert, but it's funny how quick they can pick up on our moods. Read us. Maybe he sensed this was not a regular play date, or he'd been right in to the mix :chili:whooping it up like he normally is. Can't expect an immediate attraction, they probably go into protective mode  of you, food, home and their place in the pack. 

So if I was still interested for myself, I'd visit the pup again and leave all my expectations of what SL will do--back at home. Visit the pup for your own motives, and I'm sure the answer will come. You can't control what he does anyway. So control what you can, your decision, and let SL find his place if you adopt her. 

I love Jackie's (JMM) advice. I was pretty much decided to get a second Maltese for company for Sammie. Well, because of his surgery it was delayed. Not long ago, I read Jackie's post that you should only get one yourself and not all dogs want a play mate. Boy, I really thought about that one and realized I _was_ getting the pup for Sammie mainly. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, just not the proper way to go about it probably. I'm glad I read that. I prob would have had the same thing happen to me as you did today. I have read that some always fight, but seems alot are best buds. I would not like to live with fighting but if I decide to get another one it will be for myself, and going into it knowing that will help me to better work with whatever transitions there are with Sammie. At least I will be better prepared for what will happen if he rejects her. I love all the help we find on this forum. :thumbsup:

*{{{hugs}}}*


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Christina, don't apologize for being human. We all have a hard time making decisions sometimes. I'm so happy that you have decided to not just rush and bring a fluff home without giving yourself time to consider the entire situation. Sometimes 1 fluff is plenty, sometimes we need a house full to be complete...every situation is different. No one here will judge you for whichever way you choose. I do think the fluffs would bond with time, so I think you should just give yourself plenty of time to truly way the pros and cons. Fluffs are A LOT of work and the rewards are great too  .


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## CorkieYorkie (Apr 10, 2012)

TLR said:


> I think I understand your indecision. I keep thinking I want another one and then wonder how I could possibly love another one as much I as I love Ben. I know that seems silly, but I do have these thoughts and also wonder if I have the time to take care of another one. Ben isn't the most outgoing and though I take him everywhere with me, did obedience and arrange play dates with friends that have dogs, he still will not have anything to do with them. He just wants to sit on my lap anytime another dog is around. I am sure if there was a sister here full time he would adjust and love it. I say if you are getting another one for you, just take your time and make sure it has the personality to fits into your lifestyle.


I feel the same way... the bf and I are talking about rescuing another fluff but have held off because we still want to socialize Ozzie better with other dogs... he is also a 'fraidy and is jumping/pawing at my leg anytime another pup is around! He also gets jealous when another dog is IN our home (my bf's sister stayed with us with her very sweet, docile lab and Ozzie would bark at him when he got too close!) ... so we would need to work on that as well as the fact that Ozzie isn't 100% potty trained yet... :smilie_tischkante: Also, Ozzie is attached to my hip, so it'd be nice to rescue a fluff that bonded to my bf! And of course, would like Ozzie to have a playmate, but I have a feeling it would take him a little while to warm up to another fluff in the family.. but he was a former breeder, so I think he likes other Malts. Will have to wait and see... like someone said, there are ALWAYS fluffs and other breeds in need of rescue... ALWAYS.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

gopotsgo said:


> OMG Christine! That was hysterical! Flakey was some dude.
> Regarding getting another pup. As already mentioned, get another one if YOU want one, not because you want a playmate for your existing pup. Be prepared to accept that they may never be BFF. When we added Audrey, there were a couple of fights. I thought my world was ending. Both Lily and Audrey are alpha females, they take turns peeing on each other's pees. But they got used to each other. They don't play but they do keep each other company when we are away. And when we started fostering Stormy, they both got a little more chummy with each other, LOL, solidarity and all that. But then Audrey started to play with Stormy. Amazing to us because she rarely plays with any dog. I must admit it was a big factor on deciding to adopt Stormy. Good luck.


 
Not to take away from this thread......but yes, Flakey was hysterical and new how to um express himself. :HistericalSmiley: What could I do, LOL, I knew it was his way of talking to me. I can still see him doing it now. Of course he didn't get scolded or anything, he was just expressing his thoughts :HistericalSmiley: But I tell you what, from that point on, he was the best big brother in the world. Oh heavens he was a hoot. 

To dear Christina, hugs and love to you and I hope you are feeling better now.

Lots of hugs,
Christine


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## Bishop (Mar 10, 2012)

I was just going to add to the post. I have a one and half year old female chiuahua mix that was a rescue the I found on pet finder dot com. I have been so nervous (about drove myself crazy) about bringing Molly home....It has taken four long days but my chi Lola now is playing with Molly. They are even now sleeping on the same dog bed! So far, Lola is jealous but she is not growling at Molly. I think if YOU loved that dog you met, you should get her and Sir Lovkins will come around. My Lola is not a loving dog to others and loves only me and even she has adjusted to Molly being here. I honestly think in the long run, she will end up loving Molly and I am so happy I decided to get Molly


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