# Adoption ?



## Fenway's Momma (Dec 6, 2005)

Hi all...I have been mia for a while. sorry about that. :blush: 

my SO and I have been discussing adding another dog to our family and I of course would love another maltese. This time around I think we are starting our search looking for a rescue or a retiree (not ruling out breeders completely though). I have no experience with either. But on petfinder, alot of maltese are listed as "will not adopt to families with small children." We don't have any kids yet, but plan to in the future. Are we automatically out in the eyes of the shelters or rescue groups? I want to be honest with them, but I would like another dog that is Fenway sized. I don't want to lie to get what I want but I would hate to be discriminated against for my family plans.

Fenway is great with kids...and I do keep my eye on them when they are together, which is pretty regularly.

any advice? thoughts? opinions, (don't worry I can take em :biggrin: ) should I forget about adopting? or should I wait until my futureistic children are grown before I consider adopting a maltese. anyone who is a foaterer or has adopted?

sorry if this is a silly concern.
tia


----------



## Suz & the Fluffs (Mar 11, 2006)

Hmmm I don't know how that works. Hopefully someone can tell you. I just wanted to say Hi! Any new pictures of Fenway??? :wub:


----------



## Carla (Aug 30, 2005)

I believe the reason rescue groups list "no small children" for most Maltese is that they simply can't take rough and tumble play of young children without risking being hurt. I also believe that these rescue groups would automatically refuse your application. While Shotzi was never harmed by my grandson (18mths), it is easy to see how it could happen. A small Shih Tzu might be a great alternative.

Carla & Shotzi


----------



## jazak (Feb 12, 2008)

I think it is worth a shot. There might be one that is a little bigger in rescue that wouldn't be so bad. Since you don't have any kids now, you would not be lieing if you put no kids on the application. Rescue was not an option for me b/c I have 3 small children. Good luck.


----------



## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

Here's a couple of articles which lists some things to consider:


Article from peteducation.com


Article from veterinarypartner.com







Joy


----------



## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

I know we've turned down applications for couples who 
will be starting a family in the future.

We do not place Malts in homes with small children, so 
future small children would apply to this rule.

You would be surprised how many dogs are surrendered
to us after the first child is born. Seems the day the 
newborn is brought home, there is no longer time for the dog.
They are often left outside, in a shed, or garage.

I know this wouldn't apply to most of us here, but it's a 
fact we cannot ignore.


----------



## jazak (Feb 12, 2008)

I really do understand the rule, but I also think that it is sad. I think that malts are great with kids, assuming that the kids are great with the malt. I think that most people just want a small dog, and don't really consider how much work, time, and money they could be. All they see are these beautiful little white fluff balls and think "well that would be good for my kids, b/c they can't hurt my kids" but they don't think about the kids hurting the dog. I do think that it should be looked at on a case by case basis, and not just a set "NO KIDS". Before I got Max I looked into rescue, and ran into the same problem. I was so hurt and frustrated that it was not taken in to account that I was aware of the work, I was aware of my kids, and I took steps to familiarize my children with small animals. It is still alot more work than if I didn't have kids, but everything is alot more work when you have kids. I do not regret my decision to have my malts and my kids. With that said, I am also glad that I waited until my kids were a bit older. (My youngest is 3 and does not require 100% of my attention anymore, but does still require 100% supervision with the dogs)


----------



## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

I've seen a chart online which lists appropriate pets for children at different children's ages, but I can't find it. I think it said no dogs for children under 10. Since I grew up on a farm surrounded by all kinds of animals, and know my love and respect for animals began at a very young age, I thought I'd post an article listing the benefits of pets for children.


Pets and Children




Joy


----------



## Fenway's Momma (Dec 6, 2005)

thanks for your responses...and I guess i knew what they would be before I asked. i can understand the reasons behind them, esp. for people that have never owned a small dog. I guess i am just bummed that it is a general rule



> You would be surprised how many dogs are surrendered
> to us after the first child is born. Seems the day the
> newborn is brought home, there is no longer time for the dog.
> They are often left outside, in a shed, or garage.
> ...


yeah...that would/will not happen here. Fenway is curled around both of our hearts. I get teary eyed when I think of him eventually crossing the rainbow bridge...and he isn't even 3. 



> I really do understand the rule, but I also think that it is sad. I think that malts are great with kids, assuming that the kids are great with the malt. I think that most people just want a small dog, and don't really consider how much work, time, and money they could be. All they see are these beautiful little white fluff balls and think "well that would be good for my kids, b/c they can't hurt my kids" but they don't think about the kids hurting the dog. I do think that it should be looked at on a case by case basis, and not just a set "NO KIDS". Before I got Max I looked into rescue, and ran into the same problem. I was so hurt and frustrated that it was not taken in to account that I was aware of the work, I was aware of my kids, and I took steps to familiarize my children with small animals. It is still alot more work than if I didn't have kids, but everything is alot more work when you have kids. I do not regret my decision to have my malts and my kids. With that said, I am also glad that I waited until my kids were a bit older. (My youngest is 3 and does not require 100% of my attention anymore, but does still require 100% supervision with the dogs)[/B]


that sums up my thoughts exactly, like I said i can understand, but i think exceptions should/could be made. Maybe we will look at other breeds. but I am pretty set on a malt. For all the reasons we got him in the first place, but now even more cemented because of our little fuzzy guy.

a well back to the drawing board

oh and I have some pics of the beast around here somewhere...I'll have to dig them up :biggrin:


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

I think it's an obvious and known fact that pets are good for children, but I don't think children are always good for pets, especially small ones. I was horrified when someone just the other day told me that their 5-year-old son kicked their Yorkie down the stairs. They had the Yorkie before having kids.

A friend's daughter adopted a Malt from her friends who had just had a baby and no time for the Malt. Then the new owner (my friend's daughter) had a baby and she also gave up the Malt who is now living with her mother-in-law. I hope the Malt finally has a forever home.

Anyway, I'm sure there are some homes where there are children and Malts and everything is fine, but I cringe when I hear of someone with young kids (especially boys and especially toddlers) getting a Malt puppy. Sorry... that's just me. I don't mean to insult anyone.


----------



## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

I can definitely relate. Miko is almost 5 years old and I have thought about adding another little dog to our family for at least the last 3 years. My husband and I have also thought about having kids for the last three years as well (we really will this year, I think). Anyways, my situation is not the same as yours, I sure -- but I ultimately decided that it would be hard to have a little baby and 2 dogs. There are different sides to this argument and you could say that maybe another dog would keep Fenway company while you are busy with the baby. I am not sure what's really best. However, you would have to consider child care. It would be hard to have a baby sitter for the baby and have her also take care of 2 dogs. We all love our little furkids, but there are many people in this world who do not feel the same way! Anyways, its also harder to travel with 2 dogs (and a kid!). I don't know...I think there are many pros and cons and its important to think about all of it now. Of course I have probably over-thought about all this and that's why we are still waiting for the perfect time to have a kid. Good luck in your decision!!!


----------



## llf060787 (Nov 19, 2007)

Just wondering. Would the "no kids" rule still apply if you already have another maltese?


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

OK, this subject has been urking me for a while. While I TOTALLY respect rescues rules about kids as stated in the post earlier about people abandoning or putting their fur babies on the back burner..that happens A LOT. However I have been scared by this rule myself because I have 4 kids. I tried to go to a rescue before I got vi and two of them denied me before I even filled out the app soly because of my kids, and all three because of myfence not being small dog friendly. Whaile that all makes sense, no one bothered to ask about my other dogs and what size they were and how they were treated by my kids (who were raised around all kinds of animals from day one). No one cared to ask. My fence (to me) is irrelivant because I don't let my small dogs out un attended because of hawks and coyotes we have here. I am ALWAYS outside with them. When I leave, they are fenced in my kitchen, dining room and family room where the tile is, and I'm hardly EVER gone longer than two hours because I'm a stay at home mom. Second, since my kids were raised around animals, they have been taught how to hande them and to never hurt them. I would be lying if I said they have never ever hurt them on purpose or accedent, but even *I* have hurt them on accident. And never seriously either way.
I ended up getng Vi from a breeder that didn't want her anymore. Worked out for me in the long run as I couldn't ask for a more perfect dog for my family. But I could have missed out on a dog because someone didn't think I was the perfect home. *And it's not that i think they don't deserve the perfect home, because I absolutely do...but what if that perfect home was mine*? I was very sad because of my experiance, and since I have worked with and have frends in rescues I thought I wouldn't have any problems. Never thought that I would be denied. Ever.

So really I think it should be case by case because you never know where the perfect home is. Homes with kids are good homes too. My pets are well cared for and healthy happy pooches! I guess I'm just asking to give the families a chance! lol

I really do think this has some to do with why a lot of people buy from petstores too. Because it can be a pain to deal with some rescues, and you leave feeling like your some kind of bad fur-mama. I did anyway. Over a fence! And that is a sad truth. I've been around rescues since I ws 16 (quite a few years lol) So why deal with feeling inadaquate when you can go and get a cute puppy from behind a glass window? No one to question your actions and make you feel bad. (SOOOOO not ok with me, but sad truth. I know there are people reading this nodding their heads)

I hope this doesn't offend anyone because I'm just telling people what happened to me. And for the record, none of the rescues were part of the huge maltese rescue, they were small rescues and no one on this site. Also for the record, I have a 17 yr old lab pit mix whom my hubby and I have had since BEFORE my kids were born. No poochy ditching comming frmo this family, but sadly she's right, it happens all the time. And you can't neglect a malt in ANY way. Well, ANY dog of course, but especially long haired ones. Of course, everyone here knows that I'm sure.
ANyway...just one persons oppinion and experiance. Please don't hate me!
~~Cheri~~

PS sorry if I missed any typos, this is my hubby's computer and I'm not used to the keyboard and I type super fast. I read through it but I might have missed some. :0/


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

> I think it's an obvious and known fact that pets are good for children, but I don't think children are always good for pets, especially small ones. I was horrified when my boss just the other day told me that his 5-year-old son kicked their Yorkie down the stairs. And he didn't even seem to be bothered that much by it ... you know ... boys will be boys. :angry: They had the Yorkie before having kids. The Yorkie is now 12 and I feel so sorry for her.
> 
> And a friend's daughter adopted a Malt from her friends who had just had a baby and no time for the Malt. Then the new owner (my friend's daughter) had a baby and she also gave up the Malt who is now living with her mother-in-law. I hope the Malt finally has a forever home.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sure there are some homes where there are children and Malts and everything is fine, but I cringe when I hear of someone with young kids (especially boys and especially toddlers) getting a Malt puppy. Sorry... that's just me. I don't mean to insult anyone.[/B]


KO, that is just HORRID and I think this is a situation where they SHOULD re-home the dog for the poor baby's safty! It just makes me sick to think about what that kid does to him when no one's around! A five year old knows better. In this instance I would agree with the no kid rule LOL. And it's the parents fault for not recognizing the need for the dogs safty. This kid obviously has issues. 

And I get that it would be hard for rescues to be able to discern who is who and intentions and that, that's why there needs to be a friendship developed and go from there. ANyone that can't wait that long couldn't truly want the pet THAT bad. They wouldn't deserve a special friend like a malt imo. Because they take TONS of time to care for, and if they can't invest the time into the application process then they can't invest the time in the care.
Make sense??
~~Cheri~~


----------



## wooflife (Aug 8, 2007)

Izzy weighs 4 pounds and loves kids, has always loved kids, and has always been really good with kids. She's always been supervised with children since they carry her around like a doll. But all the kids that she has been with have been very gentle with her and good to her. 

I honestly believe that every situation is different and it depends on the child and the dog.

Leslie


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=563506
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, you are right on about this... this child does have issues.. Their Yorkie used to be the love of their life and then they had a child and got a divorce ... I have been told that the child is now being kind to the Yorkie ....


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> Izzy weighs 4 pounds and loves kids, has always loved kids, and has always been really good with kids. She's always been supervised with children since they carry her around like a doll. But all the kids that she has been with have been very gentle with her and good to her.
> 
> I honestly believe that every situation is different and it depends on the child and the dog.
> 
> Leslie[/B]


I do agree that it depends on the child and the dog. My two nephews were very sweet as children (still are at 20-something) and they just loved Rosebud, my first Malt and she was crazy about them. But Rosebud was 10 pounds and quite sturdy. When their family got a dog, though, they got one from the shelter that is now about 50 pounds... a great choice for active boys.


----------



## Kissi's Mom (Apr 21, 2006)

I have to chime in here...I know that rescues do a wonderful job placing unwanted babies...I also know that children in a home can present a danger to any dog...not just maltese. Heck, my sister in law once had a beautiful boxer pup put to sleep because she was too useless to teach her child how to respect the dog and it wound up biting the child....truthfully, I would have bitten him too!!! That being said, I have a beautiful little 5 lb maltese that is helping to raise my daughter's twins...now 6 months old. Am I concerned for her safety...no more than any other puppy, I am a firm believer in supervision (yep, I am an "old" momma)... they will be taught from day one to love and respect her...she thinks they belong to her and of course my daughter's silky is even worse about these babies (boys!) than Kissi is. When I am feeding one of them on my left side Kissi is laying on my right side, when one of them cries and we don't fix it quick enough...Kissi brings them one of her bones (a most prized possession) or the silky kisses their ears or toes to calm them. I believe that the key is education...from the very beginning. My daughter was raised on a pallette in the floor with my silky and my 55 lb mutt laying beside her and she never once tried to hurt them...she developed a love for animals...pretty much all animals...right then an there. I believe that we as adults are much more considerate, loving, caring & responsible adults if we learn these traits from our furry family members as children. I know that the special people who work in rescue organizations don't have a magic ball that will show them which family is safe and which is not and guarantee a safe haven for all rescues but it really is a shame because I do not believe that all families with small children should be immediately ruled out... IMHO
Linda


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> I have to chime in here...I know that rescues do a wonderful job placing unwanted babies...I also know that children in a home can present a danger to any dog...not just maltese. Heck, my sister in law once had a beautiful boxer pup put to sleep because she was too useless to teach her child how to respect the dog and it wound up biting the child....truthfully, I would have bitten him too!!! That being said, I have a beautiful little 5 lb maltese that is helping to raise my daughter's twins...now 6 months old. Am I concerned for her safety...no more than any other puppy, I am a firm believer in supervision (yep, I am an "old" momma)... they will be taught from day one to love and respect her...she thinks they belong to her and of course my daughter's silky is even worse about these babies (boys!) than Kissi is. When I am feeding one of them on my left side Kissi is laying on my right side, when one of them cries and we don't fix it quick enough...Kissi brings them one of her bones (a most prized possession) or the silky kisses their ears or toes to calm them. I believe that the key is education...from the very beginning. My daughter was raised on a pallette in the floor with my silky and my 55 lb mutt laying beside her and she never once tried to hurt them...she developed a love for animals...pretty much all animals...right then an there. I believe that we as adults are much more considerate, loving, caring & responsible adults if we learn these traits from our furry family members as children. I know that the special people who work in rescue organizations don't have a magic ball that will show them which family is safe and which is not and guarantee a safe haven for all rescues but it really is a shame because I do not believe that all families with small children should be immediately ruled out... IMHO
> Linda[/B]


Awww, it sounds like your dogs and babies are bonding already!!

I think what scares me is that children don't always realize that what they are doing is dangerous. IMHO they need 24/7 supervision. A child may pick up a puppy/dog and drop him/her or the dog may snap because he/she doesn't want to be picked up. Or a wobbly toddler might fall on the puppy/dog. There are just so many dangers of young children and pets .. especially small pets. I understand why a rescue would not feel comfortable putting a rescue Malt in homes with small children. They want to give the rescue Malt the best chance for success and a home without small children, I think, gives them that.


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

I could talk alot about kids and with dogs, and believe that each situation should be treated individually. I have a two and three year old girls, and are very gentle with Clifford as Clifford is with them. He is also very good with other children. I find it sad that some rescues don't adopt out to families, because I think some dogs would make a great fit with kids. Each situation should be treated separately and not as a rule for all.


----------



## jazak (Feb 12, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=564806
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My children are very good with both of our maltese. They are still supervised 24/7 when they are with them. No matter what kind of animal I brought into my house they would constantly supervised. I know that I am not the only person that does this. I know of many people that would prefer to rescue, but do not, b/c of their family. Instead they go to byb's (like my friend that I got Lilly from at 5 weeks old), or pet stores, or online brokers. IMO this perpetuates the problem with mills and byb's. People are going to get what they want. If they are not able to help by rescueing, then they will go to they same people that end up having their dogs turned over to rescue. Education is key!! Educate people about this small fragile breed. Meet the kids, and watch the kids interaction with the dogs. I would have been a great mom to a rescue, but I wasn't given the opportunity b/c I chose to have kids. I do not think that Max would have been any happier anywhere else. I got Max from a byb (before I was really aware), but I tried for months to rescue. I even tried different breeds, I fostered for a local shelter, I was never satisfied, b/c it wasn't what I really wanted. It was not the dogs, it was the fact that I knew what I wanted and I was trying to settle. None of those dogs I fostered ever caught my heart, and in my opinion were better of not being homed with someone that was not inlove with them. It was love at first sight when I got Max. And again with Lilly. I do like other breeds, large and small, but I will probably never own one.


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=564819
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Very well put :aktion033:


----------



## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

> I know of many people that would prefer to rescue, but do not, b/c of their family. Instead they go to byb's (like my friend that I got Lilly from at 5 weeks old), or pet stores, or online brokers. IMO this perpetuates the problem with mills and byb's. People are going to get what they want. If they are not able to help by rescueing, then they will go to they same people that end up having their dogs turned over to rescue.[/B]



To say Rescues, "perpetuates the problem with mills and byb's", saddens me.

The rules are set, as a result of experience, and the reason's behind 
dogs being abandonded, and surrendered in the first place.

Exceptions are always in place. Just not for everyone.

Let's not excuse those, who are actually, to blame. Which would be, the mills,
pet stores, byb's, and those who, knowingly support them.


----------



## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=564842
> 
> 
> 
> ...


[attachment=36498:goodpost.gif]


----------



## jazak (Feb 12, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=564842
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Please don't misunderstand me. I too am saddened by this. I think that it is a horrible tragedy that there is even a need for rescues. I am disgusted that there are fellow members of the human race that would treat any animal in such dispicable ways as that of the mills. I am horrified that there are people that take these treasures for granted. All that I am trying to say is that I am sure that there are many people out there that were like me. I had my mind set that I wanted a maltese. I tried and tried to rescue, but over and over again I was told not to even bother filling out the application. I was uneducated and misinformed about byb's and puppy mills. Since I couldn't rescue a maltese I looked for alternative ways. I did not understand why someone would pay $2000 for the "same" dog I was seeing advertised in the paper for $300. So I too supported a byb/puppymill (I do not know which category they would fall under, but I now assume that they are a small mill). I thought that I was informed, my mom worked for The Hunte Corporation, and I believed the lies that they told us!!!! I thought I was doing the right thing by going to a local hobby breeder. (The Hunte corporation is where I fell inlove with the maltese breed) I now realize my error, and even though I would not trade Max or Lilly for anything, it saddens me that I supported that industry. I can't help but think that if I had been allowed to rescue I would not have supported that. And I am sure that there are alot of people out there like me. 

I appreciate sooo much what rescue does. I would love, love to become involved in rescue. I am not trying to belittle rescues. I do realize that they do the best they can under not so great circumstances. I do agree that alot of children should not be around small dogs, I also think that young children should never be unsupervised with ANY dog, no matter the size or breed. A large breed can get just as irritated and can injure a child. I think that just b/c someone has small children that they should not automatically be disqualified. I took that very personal. I realize that it is not a personal judgment, just an across the board standard, but it still hurt. In my eyes I was being told that I was not capable!!! I did alot of research on the breed, I had wanted another malt since my first one was stolen years and years ago. He was stolen out of my Privacy Fenced back yard!!!!! I was devistated!!! I decided then that I would wait before I got another. I knew what I was getting into, I also knew that there are precautions that I have to take b/c of my kids. I do not ever let my fluff butts out side by them selves, I do not ever leave my kids alone with them, (not even for a few minutes). And I do not believe that my malts are in any way in danger of my kids. We have a very strict no hold rule on top of the CONSTANT supervision. I only wish that I had been considered for adoption of a rescue based on those things as well. Instead I was discriminated against because of my children, and no thought was ever put into the fact that I would do right by the dog. 

I am sure that I am not the only person out there that would make a good parent to a malt and still have small kids. I also have been known to tell people that they probably shouldn't have a malt due to their kids. But that is based on the specific kids (and parents). I think that people that are not educated are the biggest threat. I was never told really why puppy mills and byb's were bad. So when I could not rescue I went and found someone that would give me what I wanted. There are alot of people that do that. Therefore helping to keep these byb's and mills in business. If I had been considered for a rescue dispite the fact that I had children and been given legitimate reasons pertaining specifically to me and my family why I should not have a malt at this time, I may very well have waited. Knowledge is power, and when people are automatically considered out of the running based solely on the fact that they have children, or plan to have children with out passing on that knowledge then we are doing these dogs a great injustice. IMO. We are telling people you are not good enough to rescue so go find one somewhere else ( I know this is not the intention, but perception is everything!!). It is our job (everyones, not just those involved in rescue) to educate people. Again I just think that it should be considered on a case by case basis. Not all families with children are the same. I have 3 small children 7, 5 & 3, would your rescue have even looked twice at my application? Does that mean that I am not a good malt mom? Does that mean that I could not provide a wonderful forever home for a greatly deserving malt? 

Please understand that this is something that I feel so strongly about, and I appreciate that you feel so strongly as well. I know that you and the rescue that you work with only want the best for these guys. They have been given such a rough start and they deserve the world!! I just hope that you can appreciate where I am coming from also. I am not saying that rescues are bad or poorly run. I know that there are reasons and experiences behind these rules. However, I think that some of these dogs could really benefit from giving children an opportunity to love them.

I just also wanted to add that I, too, realize that an older dog that has never been around children should not be placed in a home with children. They may be predispositioned to be fearful of children and in turn act out of that fear. Again I think that that should be a case by case basis.

Thank you for reading what I have to say. I am not trying to step on toes. I love this place and am so greatful for all the wonderful information that I have gotten here. I have learned so much. My only hope is that you were able to read this with an open heart and mind to see things from the other side of the fence. I would like to also let you know that that is what I have also tried to do.

Kelly


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=564842
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I agree that mills and byb's are 100% to blame for the problem, however I think what she meant was that because of the strict rules put in place by some rescues, people have walked away feeling discouraged (and sometimes even inadaquate) and give up and just go where they didn't want to in the first place (petstores and byb's) because they were let down in their search through rescues. They tried do the right thing, but no one would work with them. I've seen it.

And you have to understand that many of us are standing on the outside of rescues looking in. They don't understand the emotional investment in the rescue dogs as well as finincial. All some see is their desire to get that breed and no one will help them or cut them a break. That's where this is comming from, not an attack on the rescues. It's frustration and hurt. It was with me anyway, but I know the inside (and that made it worse for me lol).

I have 5 dogs (and a temp foster) and only one is a malt. They are ALL rescues in one way or another, and I love them ALL to death. But I have a special bond with Violet, and although everyone until now has come to me by freak incounter (I wasn't looking, they just happened apon me or me on them with exception of Vi) I don't thik I could ever get another breed. So if I ever get another dog (WAAAAAAAYYYYYY down the line in years LOL) it'll probably be another malt (unless God sends someone my way that needs help that is...I would never turn my back on a dog of course) So I can understand the strong want for a malt by people, and (from personal experiance) I think if it's a malt you want, a malt you should get and not 'settle' because you can't bond with an animal as well when youre heart wants some other breed. I have a bond with my other dogs, but my bond with Vi is much deaper. And to me, that's part of the basics for care of any dog.

The reality is that some people want a specific breed (for whatever reasons) so bad that they'll do anything to get it. I think a lot of times with malts and yorkies especially it's because of the way they look (like a status thing lol) but then realize the care is too demanding and then that's how the cycle begins. And THAT is the real problem. If we could just get the education out there to begin with, we'd have less problems in the beginning. jmho.

~~Cheri~~


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

I'm onhe same side of the fence as you Kelly, I've been there too. The sad thing is that I see BOTH side of the fence, and I understand BOTH sides and BOTH side are justified in their oppinions. All I'm saying is like you, give a family a chance as well as the next guy.

And of course i don't think a 3 or 4 lb dog should go to a home with small kids who have never been around dogs before, or a senior dog for that matter. But there are dogs from families being sent to rescues, and 'sturdy' dogs as well that there's no reason they can't be placed with families. I think every family and every dog is different, and that needs to be taken into account. But I think we ALL agree at the dog should come first no matter what. But maybe the dog would be happiest with kids in their life like they had before. Vi never had that (she lived in a cage for 3 years) but she LOVES it now. She ADORES my kids and even plays with them now! She always wanted to, but didn't know how or if it was even ok. We encourage it of course.

Anyway, be assured that there are more people on our side of the fence but fearful to say anything (Lord knows I was...and still am! lol) but I think it needs to be said. I'm saddened to think there are dogs out there that miss the hugs and playfulness of kids, sitting in a cage all day while thier owners are at work, only getting play for a few minutes a day when they could have had a family home all day with them while they can play wenever they wanted, never left home alone. THAt is a reality as well. like it or not.
(and I understand that people have to work...lol...what I meant was that they were used to a family, then got sent to a single person or a couple that works all day...you can't tell me that was what was best for that dog nessisarily when there was a family that wanted it too)

~~Cheri~~


----------



## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

> I'm saddened to think there are dogs out there that miss the hugs and playfulness of kids, sitting in a cage all day while thier owners are at work, only getting play for a few minutes a day when they could have had a family home all day with them while they can play wenever they wanted, never left home alone. THAt is a reality as well. like it or not.
> (and I understand that people have to work...lol...what I meant was that they were used to a family, then got sent to a single person or a couple that works all day...you can't tell me that was what was best for that dog nessisarily when there was a family that wanted it too)
> 
> ~~Cheri~~[/B]



Dogs are placed accordingly. This is specified in their profiles. When two dogs are surrendered,
and they've been together, and count on each other, they are only placed as a pair.

When felt it's best, many dogs are placed in a home where one person is home during the day.


Reputable rescues do not place them in homes, where they are caged, with only a few minutes
of play each day.


----------



## llf060787 (Nov 19, 2007)

> I could talk alot about kids and with dogs, and believe that each situation should be treated individually. I have a two and three year old girls, and are very gentle with Clifford as Clifford is with them. He is also very good with other children. I find it sad that some rescues don't adopt out to families, because I think some dogs would make a great fit with kids. Each situation should be treated separately and not as a rule for all.[/B]


I wholeheartedly agree. I know its for the dog's own safety but there's lots of families out there with children that would provide a loving home for a rescue. In my opinion, having a maltese in a home with small children is no different that having a newborn child in the home with a 3, 4 or 5 year old other child. I remember having to watch my newborn son like a hawk because my 4 year old daugter was always trying to either bite or pinch him when he first came home - jelous I guess. We all know that having a small dog is no different that having a child around. Its up to us as fur-parents to watch and care for our fur-babies safety just as we do for our own skin babies. They both need to be supervised all of the time.


----------



## carolicious (Feb 25, 2008)

Just adding my 2 cents here..

but from the Rescues perspective, how would they *KNOW* what your kids are like and how much you would take care to watch them and keep them from hurting the dog? Unless they have lived with you for a time, they would not know. Anyone can come and say that their kids would never hurt the dogs and that they would constantly supervise.. but things come up when you cannot watch your children all the time and situations where your kids, even the most gentle mannered, could turn their anger up on the dog if they didn't get their way with something or just play rought not knowing they're hurting the dog. So to give one family with small kids an opportunity to adopt a rescue while not giving another family with small kids a chance, then it's like saying to the other family, your kids are not good enough but the other family's kids are. I think I would be way more offended by this than by the fact that in general, families with small kids are turned away. 
That's my opinion on how rescues treat situations like this. They just don't want another family to give up a dog they've taken in just to realize that they can't have it around with their situation with kids once more, so to prevent this, they stay away from families with young kids in general to PREVENT things like this from happening. It might hurt to feel rejected when all you wanted to was help a good cause, but I think it would hurt even more when they tell you that another family and their kids are better than yours because they can adopt but you can't. 

That is just my personal opinion.


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> Just adding my 2 cents here..
> 
> but from the Rescues perspective, how would they *KNOW* what your kids are like and how much you would take care to watch them and keep them from hurting the dog? Unless they have lived with you for a time, they would not know. Anyone can come and say that their kids would never hurt the dogs and that they would constantly supervise.. but things come up when you cannot watch your children all the time and situations where your kids, even the most gentle mannered, could turn their anger up on the dog if they didn't get their way with something or just play rought not knowing they're hurting the dog. So to give one family with small kids an opportunity to adopt a rescue while not giving another family with small kids a chance, then it's like saying to the other family, your kids are not good enough but the other family's kids are. I think I would be way more offended by this than by the fact that in general, families with small kids are turned away.
> That's my opinion on how rescues treat situations like this. They just don't want another family to give up a dog they've taken in just to realize that they can't have it around with their situation with kids once more, so to prevent this, they stay away from families with young kids in general to PREVENT things like this from happening. It might hurt to feel rejected when all you wanted to was help a good cause, but I think it would hurt even more when they tell you that another family and their kids are better than yours because they can adopt but you can't.
> ...


Very good points! Also, we've had many posters on here with issues of their Malts snapping at (or even biting) young children in the family. The Malts see themselves as alpha to the children. With a very experienced small dog owner, this probably can be avoided or nipped in the bud; but with a less experienced person, this could prove to be a big issue and could cause the Malt to be surrendered. 

I totally see the rescue's point of view. They want to find the very best homes for their Malts. Homes where the Malts have the best chance of staying and of being safe. I think it is just logical that this would be in a home without small children.

I realize that this is hard for some of you who have children to understand. But just step back and try not to take it personally. Try to look at it in the general sense as it pertains to everyone .. the parent who is knowledgeable and diligent and the one who may say she is but who, in reality, isn't.
The rescues know the reasons for their Malts being surrendered. If they are finding that small children are the reason (for one reason or another) it is just logical that they would avoid homes with small children in the future, to assure the best possible outcome for the Malt.


----------



## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Very well said, Sher. The rescue - by virtue of it's mission - is ONLY concerned with the dog's well being.


----------



## MandyMc65 (Jun 14, 2007)

I think that rescue does a wonderful job. I know that not everyone who has small children or is going to have children is irresponsible, however there are some that are. When I was getting Jax she was very concerned that I would want children in the future. This was because she had just been given back one of her dogs, he was now 3. The original family had a child and now claimed the dog was biting their child "unprovoked" and surrendered him back to his breeder. 

I do not have children and do not plan on ever having any, but Jax has been around kids. When he is, I watch him like a hawk. Even if kids are around dogs or cats and are taught to respect them that doesn't mean accidents don't or won't happen. I just am not willing to take that risk. 

Dogs that end up in rescue usually don't have the best beginning to life (or at least it hasn't been recently) and need to be placed where they can be loved and safe at all times. I don't think rescue is being too strict or making ridiculous rules they are just doing what is best for the dogs.


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

I must say when I first joined SM and was told about the puppies and kids I was like Yea whatever.
But I did realize some time ago that if I had a 4 pd Maltese I myself would be watching every friggin move I made, let alone a child under 5 :shocked: I would loose my mind!
My youngest son was 5 at the time I got Nemo , but also Nemo was almost 10 pds (Now he is 8 :biggrin: ) so I still watched like a hawk but nemo was a bit bigger so I didn't worry as much. Even now for me when I get my next (Who knows at this point when that will be) I would not get a Maltese under 6 pds, I just couldn't :huh: even though my youngest is almost 8 I still would be so scared.
To be honest I didn't realize how small 4 pds was until I met a woman who had a 4 pd Maltese and I realized how small they are and gorgeous :wub: The small ones just aren't for me I am to nervous, still with Nemo I am constanly tripping :shocked: and there were times I wasn't able to get out of the way, he is constantly by my side.. Yes I do believe some children are well behaved but I do believe any child under 5 shouldn't have a teeny weeny living with them..JMO :biggrin:


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

This topic isn't about teeny weeny Maltese's living with kids, is it :brownbag: Sorry!


----------



## wolfieinthehouse (Dec 14, 2007)

I think generally young children and maltese are not a good combo BUT 

I have to say,

I got my Wolfie from the same place Mandy got Jax and I had a six year old son AND do at home preschool program with kids 2 years and up.

I did get Wolfie partially because the breeder understood that my child was raised to be respectful and gentle with a smallish dog we already had and that Wolfie would be seperated from the preschool children by a gate and the children were instructed to say hi to the dogs but not try to climb the gate or disturb them in their space.

I have trained my own children and those who come to my home to be verbally kind but not physically intrusive with dogs.


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

> Dogs are placed accordingly. This is specified in their profiles. When two dogs are surrendered,
> and they've been together, and count on each other, they are only placed as a pair.
> 
> When felt it's best, many dogs are placed in a home where one person is home during the day.
> ...



Placed accordingly...accept in homes with kids.
When someone is home all day...according to them.
Of course rescues wouldn't place them in a place they would be caged all day. lol. I wasn't implying anyone would. I was trying to make a point. First being that people LIE on apps. It's a fact. And it's also a fact that people have to work and in turn the dog has to stay at home by itself during the day. I'm sure that some people crate (which is a glorified cage) them when they do. Of course they wouldn't share that with you because 1. they wouldn't b approved, and 2. they would feel guilty (in my oppinion they should). But in a home where there is a stay at home mom, they would be free to run the house and be watched all day. Am I saying place a 4 lb dog with a family of 6? heck no! I'm saying if there's a larger dog and he gets a long with kids, or he's used to kids, give the families chance! Then there would be less people going to places other than rescues. it's a fact. NOT that it's rescues fault that people go elsewhere, but where else are they going to go with such strict policies in place reguarding families?




> Just adding my 2 cents here..
> 
> but from the Rescues perspective, how would they *KNOW* what your kids are like and how much you would take care to watch them and keep them from hurting the dog? Unless they have lived with you for a time, they would not know. Anyone can come and say that their kids would never hurt the dogs and that they would constantly supervise.. but things come up when you cannot watch your children all the time and situations where your kids, even the most gentle mannered, could turn their anger up on the dog if they didn't get their way with something or just play rought not knowing they're hurting the dog. So to give one family with small kids an opportunity to adopt a rescue while not giving another family with small kids a chance, then it's like saying to the other family, your kids are not good enough but the other family's kids are. I think I would be way more offended by this than by the fact that in general, families with small kids are turned away.
> That's my opinion on how rescues treat situations like this. They just don't want another family to give up a dog they've taken in just to realize that they can't have it around with their situation with kids once more, so to prevent this, they stay away from families with young kids in general to PREVENT things like this from happening. It might hurt to feel rejected when all you wanted to was help a good cause, but I think it would hurt even more when they tell you that another family and their kids are better than yours because they can adopt but you can't.
> ...


It's a great point, but that's why I said maybe they should get to know the family BEFORE placing the dog. Get to know the kids. And as far as the being offended part goes, I guess I would to, but the reality is that 1. rescues aren't going to share with you that the dog was placed somewhere else because their kids were better. 2. they don't owe anyone an explination of why they were turned down. It just wasn't a right fit. And I think we're all in agreement that the dog should be first priority. I just dont think that it should be with a couple or person with no kids. And turning those down that are EVEN PLANNING to have kids is just stupid. I think that one specifically is rediculas. Just because they may never want to have kids dsn;t mean they should discriminate against people who MIGHT in the FUTURE have kids. 




> Very good points! Also, we've had many posters on here with issues of their Malts snapping at (or even biting) young children in the family. The Malts see themselves as alpha to the children. With a very experienced small dog owner, this probably can be avoided or nipped in the bud; but with a less experienced person, this could prove to be a big issue and could cause the Malt to be surrendered.
> 
> I totally see the rescue's point of view. They want to find the very best homes for their Malts. Homes where the Malts have the best chance of staying and of being safe. I think it is just logical that this would be in a home without small children.
> 
> ...



Of course it wouldn't be logical to place a dog that has bitten a child to be placed in a family situation. That's crazy! I don't think anyone is implying that either. 


As for myself, here's how I see it. I'm simply saying if a dog is surrendered that is maybe on the larger side and has been raised with a family or maybe just seems to be family compatible give the families a chance so that we don't have to go elsewhere to get the breed. I don't think it's fair to discriminate against families because of THIER personal oppinions about kids. It's basicly telling me that rescues think that ALL kids are terrible and misehaving little rats that have nothing better to do than to abuse dogs. My kids are loving and caring kids that would never EVER hurt an animal of ANY kind. And I take it personally when someone tells me I'm not apporved because I have kids. It's rediculas in my mind. 

On one hand they say "go to a rescue first!...just not mine because I don't approve families...but here, go to these guys with BIGGER dogs because they're more sturdy and you're more capable of caring for that one...just not this breed." then on the other go "if you go anywhere else, you're a horrible person because you're adding to the problem."
So what are we to do? Sit ont he outside looking in at the people with all the beautiful dogs and settle for something we didn't want just because rescues don't think we're good enough? It's not fair. Then we're labeled as the bad people because we went to a byb or a petstore to get the breed. (Ok, for the record I DID NOT get vi from either of those places, or any of my dogs for that matter. She came from a mill as an ex breeder I adopted from the 'breeder'. I feel like I have to explain that.). So people shouldn't have the joy of malts int heir lives? Because from where I'm sitting, it's breeders, byb, or pet stores as an option because most maltese rescues wont approve us. What other options does that leave us? 

Get to know the families. Have dinner with them. It's obvious what kind of kids people have when you spend a couple hours with them. Maybe just to those of us that have kids? I don't know. I don't see how else you would be able to make an oppinion someone's kids unless you met them.
I'm sorry if this seems like an attack, but the more I think about it, the more it irritates me. Really I'm just questioning why, and I don't seem to be getting a reason yet, other than 'it's our policy.' I don't understand why people can have a policy based on nothing but personal oppinion of kids you have met in the past, or policies that someone has taught you because that's the way they do it. 
~~Cheri~~


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

> Just adding my 2 cents here..
> 
> but from the Rescues perspective, how would they *KNOW* what your kids are like and how much you would take care to watch them and keep them from hurting the dog? Unless they have lived with you for a time, they would not know. Anyone can come and say that their kids would never hurt the dogs and that they would constantly supervise.. but things come up when you cannot watch your children all the time and situations where your kids, even the most gentle mannered, could turn their anger up on the dog if they didn't get their way with something or just play rought not knowing they're hurting the dog. So to give one family with small kids an opportunity to adopt a rescue while not giving another family with small kids a chance, then it's like saying to the other family, your kids are not good enough but the other family's kids are. I think I would be way more offended by this than by the fact that in general, families with small kids are turned away.
> That's my opinion on how rescues treat situations like this. They just don't want another family to give up a dog they've taken in just to realize that they can't have it around with their situation with kids once more, so to prevent this, they stay away from families with young kids in general to PREVENT things like this from happening. It might hurt to feel rejected when all you wanted to was help a good cause, but I think it would hurt even more when they tell you that another family and their kids are better than yours because they can adopt but you can't.
> ...


I am pretty sure rescues use the privacy act when adopting out, and don't share other applicants with others. So, no one is offended and the dog is placed in a proper home.


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=565663
> 
> 
> 
> ...





> Of course it wouldn't be logical to place a dog that has bitten a child to be placed in a family situation. That's crazy! I don't think anyone is implying that either.[/B]


 You misunderstood my point.... My point was that in general there are often issues with Malts and children. This is a general statement not referring necessarily to a rescue. Whether the Malt is a rescue or not, I think there can be issues with Malts biting and snapping at children particularly when the parents have no knowledge at all of dog training or how a dog thinks.


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=565626
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Also, I am pretty tired of skinned kids being blammed all time for dogs being abused. There are way more animals abused by adults then children, like byb and puppy mills. I feel the ones who complain about kids all the time don't have any and don't understand. Their kids are their pets and always put them on a higher pedal stool then humans. I always treat my pets equal and as a family member, and feel many families would also do the same. Extensive interviewing by the rescues would secure a good home for a pet. I don't feel its fair to turn families away for that reason.


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=565113
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 :aktion033: :aktion033: I am a mom too Cheri, and understand your frustration here.


----------



## MandyMc65 (Jun 14, 2007)

I can understand the frustration of having children, wanting a toy dog and not being able to find a rescue or breeder that will adopt a pup out to you. No offense, but the rescue and the breeder are looking out for the dog's well being and don't really care what you want! 

I do NOT have children, but that does NOT mean that I am ignorant to how children are. I have 2 nephews (ages 4 and 2) and my boyfriend has a 5 year old sister, 8 year old brother and a 13 year old brother. Jax has been around all of them and he probably only made it out unscathed because I watched him like a hawk and it was only for a few hours at at time. My nephews have a dog and were taught to be respectful to animals, but that doesn't mean they aren't rambunctious little boys! His sister has 4 cats and a dog in the family, but that doesn’t mean she can handle being around a fragile Malt. Her mom chose a Corgi for that reason! It may not have been her first choice, but it was the best choice for her family!! 

I don’t think that rescues or breeders or anyone on here is saying that the children are abusing the dogs, they are saying accidents happen. You have only a few cases where the Malt and children get along accident free, whereas rescue has a multitude of cases where this isn’t so. 

Here is a fantastic quote on why children and Maltese are generally not good together:

"Maltese are NOT suited to children, no matter how well-meaning the child. Children cannot help being clumsy, and that a child meant well is little solace to a Maltese who has been accidentally stepped on, sat on, rolled on, squeezed, or dropped onto the patio. Most Maltese feel overwhelmed by the loud voices and quick movements that children can't help making -- and stress and fearfulness (even defensive biting) may be the result."

http://www.yourpurebredpuppy.com/reviews/maltese.html

Here are a few examples of children with Malts from Foxstone. She does however, say that there are exceptions!
http://www.foxstonemaltese.com/puppiesNchildren.htm

I think all of these are great reasons WHY rescue has found this to be a general rule. No matter how well-meaning or taught a child is, that doesn't mean that accidents can't or won't happen! Rescue isn't willing to take this chance with the Malt they have rescued from a life that was probably less than ideal.

You say that people will go to pet stores or byb’s to get their Malts if rescue turns them down. If they are responsible they could find a reputable breeder who is willing to take it case by case (look at Wolfie for example). And you can’t use cost as a reason, because pet stores are just as expensive (if not more so) than a reputable breeder. If the breeder is not willing, then maybe that person should step back and reconsider what will fit into their family and not just what they want. 

I do not want to offend anyone, but to say rescues should not be so stringent is irritating. Rescue does a fabulous job at placing the right dog in the right home. They interview people, do home visits and are willing to go the extra mile to make sure the dog will be safe and loved! They do make some exceptions, but obviously have found some rules that should be standard for the well being of the dogs not for the selfishness of people. I would not have gotten a Malt if I had a child or if I was unable to bring him to work with me. I wouldn't risk the possible accidents and I couldn’t leave a dog bred for companionship at home all day. I do believe that several rescues and breeders feel this way as well. In the end it is what is best for that particular dog or dogs.

Sorry so long!


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

> I can understand the frustration of having children, wanting a toy dog and not being able to find a rescue or breeder that will adopt a pup out to you. No offense, but the rescue and the breeder are looking out for the dog's well being and don't really care what you want!
> 
> I do NOT have children, but that does NOT mean that I am ignorant to how children are. I have 2 nephews (ages 4 and 2) and my boyfriend has a 5 year old sister, 8 year old brother and a 13 year old brother. Jax has been around all of them and he probably only made it out unscathed because I watched him like a hawk and it was only for a few hours at at time. My nephews have a dog and were taught to be respectful to animals, but that doesn't mean they aren't rambunctious little boys! His sister has 4 cats and a dog in the family, but that doesn’t mean she can handle being around a fragile Malt. Her mom chose a Corgi for that reason! It may not have been her first choice, but it was the best choice for her family!!
> 
> ...


Great post!! I totally agree and I have 3 boys and they are angels  
But you are so right and everyone thinks different so it's good to see other opinions on this topic..
When all is said and done the point is whats best for the dog .. :biggrin:


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

I see your point, however, I've turned around and stepped on my dogs numerous times, does this mean I shouldn't own a maltese too?
ACCIDENTS HAPPEN...that's why they're called accidents. Kids or not, anything can happen in ANYONE'S home.

I totally agree that rescues do an AWSOME job in placing dogs...I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to downplay rescue's role. My ONLY point in this is to say why not families as well.
~~Cheri~~


----------



## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

> I can understand the frustration of having children, wanting a toy dog and not being able to find a rescue or breeder that will adopt a pup out to you. No offense, but the rescue and the breeder are looking out for the dog's well being and don't really care what you want!
> 
> I do NOT have children, but that does NOT mean that I am ignorant to how children are. I have 2 nephews (ages 4 and 2) and my boyfriend has a 5 year old sister, 8 year old brother and a 13 year old brother. Jax has been around all of them and he probably only made it out unscathed because I watched him like a hawk and it was only for a few hours at at time. My nephews have a dog and were taught to be respectful to animals, but that doesn't mean they aren't rambunctious little boys! His sister has 4 cats and a dog in the family, but that doesn’t mean she can handle being around a fragile Malt. Her mom chose a Corgi for that reason! It may not have been her first choice, but it was the best choice for her family!!
> 
> ...


Excellent post, Mandy.


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

> I can understand the frustration of having children, wanting a toy dog and not being able to find a rescue or breeder that will adopt a pup out to you. No offense, but the rescue and the breeder are looking out for the dog's well being and don't really care what you want!
> 
> I do NOT have children, but that does NOT mean that I am ignorant to how children are. I have 2 nephews (ages 4 and 2) and my boyfriend has a 5 year old sister, 8 year old brother and a 13 year old brother. Jax has been around all of them and he probably only made it out unscathed because I watched him like a hawk and it was only for a few hours at at time. My nephews have a dog and were taught to be respectful to animals, but that doesn't mean they aren't rambunctious little boys! His sister has 4 cats and a dog in the family, but that doesn’t mean she can handle being around a fragile Malt. Her mom chose a Corgi for that reason! It may not have been her first choice, but it was the best choice for her family!!
> 
> ...


Pretty ignorant you are. YOU DON"T HAVE CHILDREN AS U STATED!!! My girls are great with Clifford and actually don't really care too much of playing with him. Alot of people on here have kids and maltese and they work fabulously together. Many sites will say that maltese are great with kids. You'll never understand until you give birth and have an upper hand in discipling your own. If your relatives are not good with your maltese, does not mean, and repeat does not mean all kids are like that. Its lack of discipline on your relatives part and yours for that matter. Well I am sure all of you will be angry at this, but I feel very strongly about this, and get tired of the kid bashing.


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=567510
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Cloey70, please keep this discussion polite and let's not revert to name calling, etc. Thanks.


----------



## MandyMc65 (Jun 14, 2007)

> Pretty ignorant you are. YOU DON"T HAVE CHILDREN AS U STATED!!! My girls are great with Clifford and actually don't really care too much of playing with him. Alot of people on here have kids and maltese and they work fabulously together. Many sites will say that maltese are great with kids. You'll never understand until you give birth and have an upper hand in discipling your own. If your relatives are not good with your maltese, does not mean, and repeat does not mean all kids are like that. Its lack of discipline on your relatives part and yours for that matter. Well I am sure all of you will be angry at this, but I feel very strongly about this, and get tired of the kid bashing.[/B]


I did state that my nephews were taught to be respectful towards animals, as they have a dog. They also were very good with Jax, but Jax is little and the boys are well, little boys! They get rambunctious and like to run around and play. I just don't take the chance that Jax will end up in the middle of that. My boyfriend's little sister is also good with Jax, but that doesn't mean I don't watch him. If I didn't I'm sure in the midst of her playing she may have accidentally fallen on him or tripped over him and possibly hurt him or herself! Yes I have tripped on him but that likelihood is a lot less than that of a child. 

I did not "kid bash" and do not see anywhere that was done. I also did state that there, of course, are exceptions. I do not doubt that your girls are good with Clifford as well as several others' children on this site. I do not have to have kids to understand. I was a kid once and yes, I had dogs. None of which were small, but that didn't mean I wasn't taught the correct way to handle and play with them. And I can be around children and see. Jax is great with them, but he's also not a rescue that may already have underlying issues.

I think you take this as a personal attack on you, your children and your choices, and that is NOT what this post or any other post has been. It has simply been a point of view that you may not see because you do have children and a Maltese.


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

Its hard to not take this thread personally for anyone who has kids, and not just mine. This is the difference between us who have kids and those that don't, emotions. Anyways, I always wish the best for all those rescue pups and hope they always find the perfect home.


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

> It has simply been a point of view that you may not see because you do have children and a Maltese.[/B]


As is our view to those of you that don't have children nd a maltese.

Rescue dogs (those that don't have underlying issues obviously) and kids DO match. Just because the dog is a 'toy' breed shouldn't mean that it can't live with kids.

I, for one, don't take it personally because I know I'm a good home. I figure all the rescues that truned me down because of my kids...it's THEIR loss. It's a loss for the dogs that could have had a loving, caring, FOREVER home, but because someone's PERSONAL oppinion, the dogs missed out on my home (even though they will probably end up in a loving home anyway...not the point.) my family and my families love. I mean, one person's love=good, two people's love=great. 6 peoples love=awsome! That's how I see it. I mean, Vi is being spoiled by 6 people in my house...how much more lucky can she be?? What more could she possibly ask for? Nothing. She wants for nothing. She never will. Nor will any animal that crosses my path. Am I such a terrible home for her JUST because I have 4 kids? That's ridiculous if you ask me.

~~Cheri~~


----------



## carolicious (Feb 25, 2008)

could we just all take a step back and take a deep breath?

this has turned into an issue of people who have kids vs. people who don't and it has strayed off the original post of whether or not she should wait for her kids to be a little older before rescuing or for her to try to rescue before she has kids. 

Just saying, since I'm getting scared to come here and look what people have to say in this thread because there is so much tension in the atmosphere :smheat:

It's true that people who don't have kids do not understand the full aspect of having kids and raising them, of course, as those who have had children. But I also do not think it's fair for people with children to dismiss others without children as being incapable of understanding. 
One thing we do all agree on is that rescues are great organizations that help save the lives of many animals, so could we try to unite on that common front? 

It's not a matter of whether or not a home with family having young children will provide enough love and care for a maltese, it's an issue of can accidents happen? and is it more prone in families with young children? and the answer is yes. 

There is no doubt that families with young children can shower the maltese with even more love than a family with not as many members in their household. But, I believe that the rescue is trying to find a home for a dog that has been through not so great times, and the thing that it needs most is a stable situation where it'll receive love but also be as safe as it can be.


----------



## Cheri (Jan 7, 2008)

>>throws hands up in the air and rolls eyes<<

Accidentss happen yes. That's why they are CALLED accidents. It's something that* can't* be prevented, no matter where the dog lives.

I'm done.


----------



## jadey (Nov 2, 2006)

imo only you could make the best judgement if its a good time to adopt a maltese now or later. if your having doubts now then i wouldn't. if your sure you want a furbaby in your life then go for it  i agree with other posters, you have to watch them like a hawk just in case and accidents do happen.


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

> >>throws hands up in the air and rolls eyes<<
> 
> Accidentss happen yes. That's why they are CALLED accidents. It's something that* can't* be prevented, no matter where the dog lives.
> 
> I'm done.[/B]


 :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl: sorry :brownbag:


----------



## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

Cheri ~ You say you do not take it personally.
Obviously, by your postings, you do. 

Rescues do have rules, and they vary. Some require
a fenced yard. I do not have a fenced yard, so I would
not qualify. Going on, and on, how great my yard is, will
not change the fact that I do not have a fence.

I must say, when a group of volunteers care enough to 
spend countless hours, and countless dollars, out of their
own pockets, they can make the rules. The dogs do not
lose out, they are always placed in loving, forever homes.

Once again, the rules are not one person's "personal" opinion,
they are set based on experience.


----------



## jen_hedz (Mar 5, 2008)

I have 4 kids, the youngest being almost 2 and the oldest being 14. I don't take this thread personally as I don't think anyone that has kids should. As you yourselves that have kids have said nobody knows how things are in your home except those that live there. I think it is because of this that the rescues will not adopt maltese to families with small children and I am fine with that. They are looking out for the best interest of the dog and we can talk for hours about how well behaved our children are but there are also people that could be lying through their teeth about that. I give praise to those in rescue for the wonderful things they do for the animals. My kids were all raised around animals, we have chickens, rabbits and a lab that has pretty much grown up with my todler, he is very well behaved with all of them. Then I got angelo and ellie and I had to retrain my todler all over again!!! He had to learn that he couldn't touch the dogs unless I was holding them and that he couldn't pick them up and boy was that fun since it was not easy trying to make my todler understand that!!! Things are good now, my todler has learned and I have him involved in the training proscess of my pups. When we train to sit or whatever I let my todler give the pups their treats and this is his way of interacting with them and it makes us all happy. It took a lot of time though and I also think about families that want a malt just because it's oh so cute and they don't have the time to work with them and their children. I just think that this thread has been taken too personally and wanted to say that as a person that has kids I do see and understand why rescue is the way that it is. My hats off to those in rescue :aktion033:


----------



## carolicious (Feb 25, 2008)

> I have 4 kids, the youngest being almost 2 and the oldest being 14. I don't take this thread personally as I don't think anyone that has kids should. As you yourselves that have kids have said nobody knows how things are in your home except those that live there. I think it is because of this that the rescues will not adopt maltese to families with small children and I am fine with that. They are looking out for the best interest of the dog and we can talk for hours about how well behaved our children are but there are also people that could be lying through their teeth about that. I give praise to those in rescue for the wonderful things they do for the animals. My kids were all raised around animals, we have chickens, rabbits and a lab that has pretty much grown up with my todler, he is very well behaved with all of them. Then I got angelo and ellie and I had to retrain my todler all over again!!! He had to learn that he couldn't touch the dogs unless I was holding them and that he couldn't pick them up and boy was that fun since it was not easy trying to make my todler understand that!!! Things are good now, my todler has learned and I have him involved in the training proscess of my pups. When we train to sit or whatever I let my todler give the pups their treats and this is his way of interacting with them and it makes us all happy. It took a lot of time though and I also think about families that want a malt just because it's oh so cute and they don't have the time to work with them and their children. I just think that this thread has been taken too personally and wanted to say that as a person that has kids I do see and understand why rescue is the way that it is. My hats off to those in rescue :aktion033:[/B]


good post! hopefully others will think about what you have said and realize this is not something to take personally. Rescues do a great job and I'm thankful for them and I believe that they do the best that they can in every way. I hope to become involved with the rescues too when I'm older and my life has stabilized.


----------



## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

> Cheri ~ You say you do not take it personally.
> Obviously, by your postings, you do.
> 
> Rescues do have rules, and they vary. Some require
> ...


AMEN.


----------



## llf060787 (Nov 19, 2007)

I don't want to sound ignorant but why don't they see adoption of a maltese the same way as adoption of an infant? A home check, see if they can provide a loving atmosphere, etc. and that should be it. Couples who have small children arn't denied infant adoption rights just because they already have other small children. I don't see the difference here. I understand the rescue organization's argument but I think they're passing up a lot of wonderful homes to lots of little furfluffs that would love a place to call their own.


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

> I don't want to sound ignorant but why don't they see adoption of a maltese the same way as adoption of an infant? A home check, see if they can provide a loving atmosphere, etc. and that should be it. Couples who have small children arn't denied infant adoption rights just because they already have other small children. I don't see the difference here. I understand the rescue organization's argument but I think they're passing up a lot of wonderful homes to lots of little furfluffs that would love a place to call their own.[/B]


 :blink: I don't think they are the same at all, sorry :blush:


----------



## cloey70 (Jan 6, 2008)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=567553
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I don't think ignorant is name calling in my opinion but a true statement. Besides she has also said the same thing. So, please don't just point me out. I think there are many posts on here that have gone way further then name calling, besides this thread. Like I said, I wish the best for rescues, and that was the end from me on this post. So, please quit pointing me out to have to reply.


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

This is ridiculous, please let the thread die already :smpullhair: :smpullhair: :biggrin:


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

[attachment=36672:closed.gif]

Ladies and Gentlemen: I think everything that _can_ be said _has_ been said in this thread. I'm going to close it now.


----------

