# I need advice...



## harrysmom (Sep 28, 2007)

So my 15 year old cat, Oliver, has advanced kidney disease. We almost lost him earlier this year... he spent a week at the vet... but miraculously he came back from that and was ok for a while. In the last few months, he's had a few issues, but I was always able to get him past the issues with meds and fluids. On Friday, when I came home from work, I noticed that he hadn't eaten anything. I offered him some tuna and he ate it all. On Saturday morning, he was very weak, even falling out of his bed, but as the day went on, he got stronger. But he refused every food I offered, including tuna. He hasn't eaten since Saturday and he is now peeing everywhere, including in his bed while he's lying there. He does get up and walk to his litter box or a pee pad once in a while, but other times he just pees wherever he is. As a result, he's a mess. He doesn't seem to be in any pain, but I know that cats hide things well.

Reading over what I've written, it sounds hopeless, but looking in his face, which is still very alert and enjoying when the heat turns on by his bed... I'm not sure what to do. I have a call in to the vet, but I'm sure she'll say she can't advise me.... so I'm asking for thoughts. I have had him since he was 8 weeks old. I'm sure you all know how tough this is. 

Debbie


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Oh Debbie, my heart is heavy for you! I think you already know the right thing to do---when they stop eating it is always a sign to me. I will pray for courage & strength for you---and wisdom. God promises it to us when we ask Him for it so I know it is a prayer that will be answered. Big hugs to you!


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Deb....I'm going through the kind of the same thing with Tinker....I feel it's time for him to have complete peace...but Stan insists he's fine. :blink:

It's a thin line between time and not time. It's probably time...it's just so hard to recognize some times. 

My heart is with you, not matter what.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

Debbie I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It is never easy to make this type of a decision. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Debbie,

I am so sorry. It is tough decision. I think Sandy is right; refusing to eat for several days at that time of life usually means the time is near . Spend as much time as you can with him.


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## jane and addison (Nov 1, 2012)

We had a cat for 18 years. Even though he had problems we could not put him down but when he got down to 4 lbs we had to let him go. Jane always said we waited two years to long but you will know when its time. Prayers and hugs.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

My sweet cat Lily had this too, but she didn't seem to have any issues until the last few months. She got slower and slept more although she ate as usual. At the end she had lost about 2.5 lbs but she was about 8 lbs at most.

I was watching her and realized the time was near. Maybe she could have been with me longer since she never did have accidents or get wobbly. 
My sister's cat was different and he was unsteady at times and did have a couple of accidents. It's very difficult because we don't want them to suffer but sometimes we need to see that they are not well to understand that it's really happening.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this with Oliver. When they are with you so many years you can look back through the family photos, and especially when you see them with the kids now grown up, you realized how long they have spent with you. It's special to have them so long.


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## harrysmom (Sep 28, 2007)

Update: I'm taking Oliver to the vet tomorrow. I talked to her on the phone and she said a simple blood test will tell if his kidneys are suddenly worsening, in which case nothing can be done, or it's something else. I'll update after the vet visit. Thank you for all of the advice and good wishes. It's nice to have people who understand to turn to.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Deb, you have had so much loss this year---I sure hope/pray it can wait. Please know I will be w/you tomorrow in thought & prayers as you go to the vet. Bon courage!


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

I will be thinking about you tomorrow. I hope the news is positive and you have more time together.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

I'm so sorry Debbie, I remember when my Miss Bow was going through this, I tried everything, but she just became weaker, with much prayer I finally made the decision because she was so bad, she had gone from 12lbs to 5lbs., it was heart breaking., it's a hard decision, you have been through so so much if I could change things for you I would. I pray for you every day, tomorrow you will be in my heart. I wish I could be there with you.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Oh it's good the vet has advice and can offer that simple test. I hope there is something they can do too.


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

I’m so sorry. We lost a 12 year old tuxedo tabby to a urinary blockage in the spring. It happened so suddenly that we didn’t have a lot of time to think about making that most difficult decision.

His sister is not well either. She is down to less than 5 pounds from 8 pounds. She takes a steroid every other day and she seems a little better even though there’s many times I see her laying in her favorite spot and I watch to make sure she’s still breathing. She doesn’t seem to be suffering and we’ve had the conversation with her vet about knowing when it will be time to let her go.

It’s so hard to know what to do. I pray that you get clarity at your visit with the vet tomorrow.


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

I will be thinking of you today and saying a prayer that the answer is easily discernible.


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## summergirl1973 (Oct 24, 2016)

This pain I understand all too well. I am so truly sorry you are having to make this decision. The truth is we never know what is right to do. My only suggestion is to follow your heart and to talk to your precious kitty about it. To some this may sound crazy, but I think souls communicate regardless of species. My prayers are with you and specifically for peace and guidance. Hugs.


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## maggie's mommy (Mar 12, 2006)

My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers. I will be thinking of you today as you see the vet. You are facing such a hard decision but one that will be based in kindness and love. As others have said, as difficult as the decision is, you will know when it's time.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Deb, I have been up for hours & you are on my heart---not only because of Oliver (but that too) but for the pain you have had to shoulder this year. We are here & thinking/praying for you today. Please know that we all care.


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## Pooh's mommy (Aug 31, 2014)

Prayers and Big hugs


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## unicorn1098 (Oct 3, 2017)

I am so sorry. I know that is literally one of the worst decisions to make. I just went through a similar situation with my Cavalier in March. She as only 6 and had MVD with CHF and her meds stopped working. It finally hit that point where she was having more bad days than good days... but even then I questioned myself because she was still having the good days. Even the day that we had decided was "time," I was still questioning whether or not it really was. I was literally googling an hour before the vet came "How to know when it's time do put your dog to sleep." It was the worst feeling I have ever had in my 28 years of life.

I will leave you with this story just because I WISH someone had told me this in the days before we lost Sprinkles. The best thing our vet ever told me was this: He said with his own fur babies that he always erred on the side of "too soon" rather than "too late" when they have a progressive terminal diagnosis. That statement helped me make that horrible decision to let her go, and while it was still so very painful, I'm glad looking back that I didn't let her suffering get bad. She never knew the true pain that comes with a CHF death. She left me on a day where I was able to shower her with love, play, and all the McDonalds she could eat. 

I am praying that you get good news today and that you get to keep your baby with you longer! But I just wanted to share my story because I WISH someone had told me this sooner to ease my guilt with my baby. 

Sending all the love and prayers your way!


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Debbie I also have a heavy heart for you. I prayed for you this morning. I hope you know how LOVE you are by us. We are here for you.:wub:.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Debbie - I just saw this. Sending love and prayers to you. I know this is so hard and what you went through with Steve, particularly hard. But just keep Oliver as your focus...what's the best thing for him. Hoping the tests shed some light. (((hugs)))


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## harrysmom (Sep 28, 2007)

I tried to update last night, but, of course, my computer decided that it would not start at all, so I'm sorry about the late update. 

The vet said that Oliver's kidneys were too far gone. So Oliver has now joined his dad in heaven. The one saving grace is that the decision was not mine to make. I am very sad to lose him, but I know that he's at peace. Thank you for all of your prayers, thoughts, and concern.

Debbie


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Debbie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been out of town and just seeing this. I know it helped that the vet was able to help you make the decision. Quality of life is always the best scale. Hugs.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Debbie I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you didn't have to decide and that he's at peace. I hope that brings you some comfort and knowing he had the best of care.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Debbie,

He is at peace. You have him a great life. He no longer feels the pains of our corporal existence.


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## maggie's mommy (Mar 12, 2006)

Debbie, so sorry for your loss of Oliver. It never is easy but so glad that the vet was able to take the decision out of your hands. Now Oliver is at peace and in the arms of his daddy.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss Debbie! I am glad the decision was taken away from you, it is so hard to go through no matter what but it is always worse when you have to make that decision yourself. Thoughts and prayers for all of you as you heal!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Debbie - I'm so sorry for your loss. :smcry: Oliver isn't suffering anymore. I'm also glad the decision to let him go didn't only fall on you. I'm sure that Steve will take loving care of him.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

I am so so sorry, you have been through so much. Debbie I.just think Steve is enjoying having Oliver with him. 
My Matilda most likely welcomed Oliver also, she loved kitty's and oh how Matilda was a nosey little one lol My heart is with you:wub: one day at a time


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

harrysmom said:


> Update: I'm taking Oliver to the vet tomorrow. I talked to her on the phone and she said a simple blood test will tell if his kidneys are suddenly worsening, in which case nothing can be done, or it's something else. I'll update after the vet visit. Thank you for all of the advice and good wishes. It's nice to have people who understand to turn to.


Debbie, thinking of you and precious Oliver with much love and prayers.


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Debbie, I am so very sorry. It’s never easy to say goodbye but I know from experience there’s comfort in knowing that you’ve absolutely done the right thing. Hugs to you!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Sending condolences & love to you Deb---you did all you could & Oliver was well cared for---I am only sad for you that the timing had to come now---with all of your other sorrow. Sending you loving hugs.


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## harrysmom (Sep 28, 2007)

Thank you, everyone, for the lovely thoughts and prayers.


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## teacherterry (Jul 12, 2017)

They are never here long enough) Having lost 2 pets in 4 months I know how hard it is. I am so very sorry.


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