# Separation Anxiety - can't fix



## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

I have a puppy Stella who is know 10 months old.. well not longer a puppy i guess but I am having trouble crate training her or just leaving her alone. I live in a small apartment so I can't have her "cry it out" all night, so I have been trying to get her to comfortable with the crate and when we leave for work, she is locked in the bathroom. We got a puppy cam to watch her and for an hour she howls but calms down and sleeps in a bed. I even put the bed in the crate and she lays in it, so she is not scared of it.

When I come home and play with her, I try to do crate training. The second I put her in she freaks out, howling, digging, whining, and biting the crate, all the signs of severe separation anxiety. She even hurt herself trying to get out biting the crate door. I have read about slowing getting them use to it, but I can't even get the door closed before she freaks out.

She is pooping at night when we are asleep so we can't catch her and having her in the crate at night would be best, but we can't have her bark and whine all night. I tried to tie her to my arm at night so I can know when she jumps down.. but she got too far out and was dangling off the side, just hanging in the air on the lease.. so we can't do this anymore.

Should we not hold her and push her more away to make her more independent. When I walk to the bathroom she follows me, when I walk to the bedroom she follows, she never leaves my side. I want her to feel safe and comfortable being alone and not by my me every second.

Any Ideas?


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## mylittleluna (Dec 19, 2017)

I wish I could help you. I was never able to do crate training with Luna and she has always sleep in the same bedroom than me. She did learn not to poop while we are sleeping, but that is because of her food schedule. As far as leaving her alone, instead of in a bathroom, we used baby gates in a small hall. But after she learned to pee in her pee-pee thing and stopped chewing shoes, we just leave her freely in the house.


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## Snuggle's Mom (Jan 3, 2008)

Just wondering whether or not you began Crate Training when you first got Stella?? At 10 months of age, she should be already. Crate training is consistent on behalf of the owner meaning that when she was a small Puppy, she was taken out to do her thing and then put her in her Crate. Of course she would have to play and eat, but it is important that a routine is established. Not sure when you take her out for the last time before she goes to bed, but perhaps she might have to go out a bit later. Dogs usually do not mess/dirty their crates. Perhaps your Vet might be able to help you out with some suggestions. And I am sure that there will be more of SM Members who will want to offer you some advice.


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## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

We tried gates, but she jumps against them and knocks them down trying to escape and get to us, which is why we had to use a door. We could try it again soon as she seems to of calmed down more since being a smaller puppy.

I met my girlfriend who had the puppy at 5-6 months and she did not do any training!.. I have been training Stella since I met her.. she thinks they are cute babies who need to be snuggled with.. which might be my problem. :smilie_tischkante:

We usually take her out at 9-10 ish and she sleeps on our bed, but at night she jumps down and goes in the curtains of all places and then comes back into bed, so she is leaving the area where we sleep. If I could crate her at night and keep her quite I would but she does not stop or calm down at all and we don't want her to hurt herself again when put in a crate.


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## pippersmom (May 21, 2012)

When you put her in the crate try giving her a kong filled with something yummy and then she will associate going in the crate with good things happening. At night you could try covering 3 sides of the crate to make it feel more like a den. Cover it with something that has your scent on it and then she won't feel like she's alone.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

I do not have any personal experience with this but perhaps a soft sided carrier with pop out sides like this one pictured below for her to sleep in your bed with you during the night to at least get her through the nights to start?!?! I would definitely not try to tie her to you or anything with her leash for sure. :thumbsup:

When I brought Aviannah home at 12 weeks old I started her in one similar to this the first night. I slipped my hand in one of the zippers with her to comfort her and she was out within minutes with no fuss and I was able to slip my hand back out easily without waking her. :wub: I think this breed can be taught fairly easily because they want to please us so much but it takes consistency, time and patience! The good people here at SM taught/reminded me of that my first year here at SM which was also my first year Aviannah! :aktion033: Oh and always reward her when she does what you are trying to teach her too! :thumbsup:


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

My oldest dog developed terrible separation anxiety about the same age. She would chew her self bloody. I brought in a trainer who advised me to put her in the crate, leave for 1 min and return. Everyday, increase the time by 1 min and in 30 days(30 min) she would trust I would return and have enough confidence in herself to know if left alone, she will be fine. 
Also, when I did return, I was to make no eye contact, no comment until she sat quiet in her crate and then I would take her out and treat.
Everyday thereafter, I would increase by an hour. I did hire in a dog walker to come in 3 1/2-4 hours after I left in the morning, on the days I worked, which helps break up the day.
It took time but it does help them develop the confidence they need to be left alone.
After a few months I put her in a pen until I was 100% positive she could be trusted to have free reign of my house.
Here is the pen I used then and still use when she slips and starts to have accidents in the house. A few weeks in this reinforces that she is to go potty outside only.
https://www.amazon.com/IRIS-4-Panel...ocphy=9001891&hvtargid=pla-274108458603&psc=1


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## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

The soft sided crate sounds like a neat idea but I see this puppy jumping up and rolling it over and over like a hamster wheel, I have thought of using these to train her in as I don't see how she could hurt herself like she did before but she would hamster ball that thing all over the room. :HistericalSmiley:

Maddy, I will try some of that crate training you mentioned, I just have the problem that she goes crazy the second I put her in before the door gets closed. Maybe I need to get her calm before closing the door that I think about it. For that pen, do you have any issues with it falling over from then jumping against it or jumping up and leaning against it? Also how long would you leave her in there?

Thanks for all the info, these are my first Maltese dogs and having all the responsibility to take care of them, so I am learning all about them.


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## mylittleluna (Dec 19, 2017)

Have you tried one of those indoor potty systems? I have one in my bedroom for Luna to use during the day. Luna now sleeps all night, but when she was younger, she would jump out of the bed, pee in there, and come back...


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## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

We used puppy pads but now we are taking those up and getting her to go outside. She is really good except for at night when we can't watch her every second. I don't know of a indoor potty system, may have to google that if you dont mean puppy pads.


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

fuzzy66 said:


> The soft sided crate sounds like a neat idea but I see this puppy jumping up and rolling it over and over like a hamster wheel, I have thought of using these to train her in as I don't see how she could hurt herself like she did before but she would hamster ball that thing all over the room. :HistericalSmiley:
> 
> Maddy, I will try some of that crate training you mentioned, I just have the problem that she goes crazy the second I put her in before the door gets closed. Maybe I need to get her calm before closing the door that I think about it. For that pen, do you have any issues with it falling over from then jumping against it or jumping up and leaning against it? Also how long would you leave her in there?
> 
> Thanks for all the info, these are my first Maltese dogs and having all the responsibility to take care of them, so I am learning all about them.


Again...it's all about teaching her to be confident in herself, per my trainer. Even if she's freaking out when you put her in, don't make a big deal. Remember, a minute at a time. Put her in, walk out the door and return in a minute, wait till she's calm and quiet, no eye contact, no speaking and then let her out, increasing the time every day. I moved the training along by doing it several times a day.
She really needs to trust in herself and you that you will return and she will be fine by herself. My trainer used to tell me a puppy at 10-11 months could easily stay in a crate up to 6 hours. I personally used the pen instead of the crate for that length of time.
Also consider the iris pen in place of the crate. There are absolutely no issues with the pen tipping, falling or hurting themselves. I have put all 3 of my girls in it with the 6 panels, if I had to leave and I had someone coming in to work on my house, again, never an issue. It's big enough for puppy pads, bed, toys and water.


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## mylittleluna (Dec 19, 2017)

fuzzy66 said:


> We used puppy pads but now we are taking those up and getting her to go outside. She is really good except for at night when we can't watch her every second. I don't know of a indoor potty system, may have to google that if you dont mean puppy pads.


No, not puppy pads. We work full time so we don't have anyone to take Luna outside during the day.

This is what we use: https://www.amazon.com/Artificial-B...7046357&sr=8-3&keywords=indoor+potty+for+dogs


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## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

I will try it out this week and report back. I hope to see some change in her.

Maybe a bit off topic but how can I get her to tell me its time to go out? I have been giving her treats when she goes outside but she never shows any sign of needing to go out, she just goes. Its like she does not understand that going outside and peeing gets a treat even when we do it every day. If she can tell us, we would not need to crate her.


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## mylittleluna (Dec 19, 2017)

fuzzy66 said:


> Maybe a bit off topic but how can I get her to tell me its time to go out? I have been giving her treats when she goes outside but she never shows any sign of needing to go out, she just goes. Its like she does not understand that going outside and peeing gets a treat even when we do it every day. If she can tell us, we would not need to crate her.


I think the others here may have a good advice for that... I'm like your girlfriend, I spoiled Luna too much.

But in her case, she doesn't bark, but she sits in front of the door until I notice she wants to go out.


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## Emilie (Nov 27, 2018)

Re: training her to tell you she needs to go - most puppies will have a tell. If you watch her like a hawk you can see her demeanor change - maybe she starts circling, sniffing, looks up to the side in a weird way, something different. It can be very subtle. But right then, before she pees, is when you grab her and run her outside/put her on the pee pad. It happens very fast.

We originally pad trained our dog, and later changed to taking him outside. Mostly the training was just about taking him out - a lot. We live in a city and the curb smells are powerful - he knew exactly where to go immediately, the first time. We gave him a ton of praise and treats, and at the same time stopped treating for the "business" done inside on the pad. But we did always keep a pad folded up under the bookcase near our door, just in case the weather was too bad to go out. He already knew what the pad was for and would go over to it and paw at it, or fuss at us and then look at it. That's how we knew he wanted to go potty, and could then quickly take him out. (Although sometimes he would also just do this for treats, when he didn't really have to go.)

If you get your training with the crate to a good place and are ready to train her for something else, you can train a dog to ring a bell by the door to go outside (just google it - it's not something I've done). It would be similar to our pad-by-the-door thing, but easier to hear.


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## Happinesstogo (Oct 17, 2015)

Since we travel a lot, I have Whisper trained for going outside and for using wee-wee pads inside. I have a folding dog play pen similar to this one on Amazon -- Parkland Pet Portable Foldable Playpen Exercise Kennel Dogs Cats Indoor/outdoor Removable Mesh Shade Cover. I leave it open and put a wee-wee pad inside. 

This folds flat and I can fit it into my luggage. Then at a hotel or visiting someone's home, I just quickly open it up and Whisper knows he can use it. We've been having days of heavy rains and winds. I admit, I've been happy to have him use the wee-wee pad system rather than my walking him outside. 

Whisper is was a rescue. Dumped when he was a couple of weeks old so he spent a great deal of time crated in vet's hospital since he was very sick at first. Then the foster mom got him used to the play yard. That said he really didn't want to stay in the crate at night when I first got him. But I put the crate beside my bed and laid my hand on it so he could smell me close by. That said, it didn't take long before we let him sleep with us, which he obviously prefers. We have a hassock at the foot of our bed so he can jump up and down onto the bed using it. If he has to go potty during the night, he jumps off and goes to the play area in the next room that has a wee-wee pad. He pretty much went during the night till he was about 18 months. 

I'd suggest keeping you hand near him when he is in the crate. Though if he has severe separation anxiety that still might not work. So sorry.

Lainie


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## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

I have some good news, we got the play pen that Maddy mentioned and started using that as a "crate" at night on Friday. She whined for about an hour and stopped, we did the ol, cry your self to sleep method. She did that a few times that night and again the next few nights but on Monday, I left her in there while we went to work instead of the bathroom and she was relaxed all day in there. She is use to us going to work, even being in a new place she settled down. That night she did not make a sound! It was like heaven. Not a noise from her till about 5:30 in the morning and she had to go. She was going crazy, barking, jumping, scratching, whining but at least she let us know that she had to go and did not go in the "crate".


We are going to keep this up for a few months, it just stinks she lives 80% of her day in that play plen when we are at work and at night but at least she has room to move around in.


It does not fix the separation anxiety but at least she seems to be getting use to this arrangement and maybe in a few years she will grow out of it or I just jinxed my self and tonight we are back to square one!


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## mylittleluna (Dec 19, 2017)

fuzzy66 said:


> We are going to keep this up for a few months, it just stinks she lives 80% of her day in that play plen when we are at work and at night but at least she has room to move around in.


That is good. Hopefully, she'll get better and you will be able to roam free when you go to work. At first, we only let Luna in a small area, and when she managed that, we gave her free roam of the house.


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## fuzzy66 (Dec 21, 2018)

I might of been right and spoken too soon. Last night she woke up and whined at 4am, took her out and she went but would not go back to sleep. She was awake and kept whining, scratching, barking trying to get out. We eventually caved and let her out in hopes she would go to sleep.. but nope, she wanted to get into bed and we ignored her. It did not work. for over an hour she wanted to get in by whining.


It seems its not a perfect fix and will need more work.


Any thoughts on getting her to hold it through the night? Barking and whining to let us know she has to pee/poo is good I don't want to discourage it but I know she can hold it a few more hours. She goes over 8 when we are gone to work and has not had a issue in over a month.


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## puppymom (Jun 13, 2005)

Have you tried treat stuffed Kong’s? Stuff a small Kong with her favorite treat, let her sniff it, put it in the crate. Let her go into to get the marvelous toy. Leave the door open as she enjoys the treat. After a few successful tries, close the door for longer periods. Always leave a treat stuffed Kong’s in her crate when you leave her. She will learn that the crate is a fun place.


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