# Need Advice--Panicked and Very Concerned About Tyler



## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

So, we bought a wireless monitor, so we could see what Tyler does when we leave--thanks to all who responded to my post on which one to buy. 

Tyler's got major separation anxiety and is very fearful of so many things--most likely because he was traumatized as a puppy after we were attacked by a dog. It doesn't help that I'm home most of the time with him as I work from home. He sits on my lap a lot or on the back of my chair. I try to leave the house every day for at least an hour, if not more. Tony has said that if he's home and I go out, Tyler walks around and often whimpers--sometimes he howls. When Tony is going to leave, Tyler attacks him--he has an idea of when he's leaving and if I'm holding him, he shakes and then when Tony comes out, he growls and wiggles in my arms. If I don't hold him, when Tony comes out, Tyler will growl viciously and grab his pants, so Tony can't get to the door. First the trainer had me distract him with games,which worked for a while but he caught on. Now, per the trainer, I'm to keep him on leash. I've had a lot of training and he's improved on outside walks (which was a huge challenge) and in other areas, but the separation anxiety is the worst.

Which brings me to my issue. We installed the camera and twice have watched him--last night we were gone for 5 hours to see a play, the other was for about 2 hours when I went to work out on Friday afternoon. Both times we found that he walks around the whole time--pretty much pacing.. He'll jump on the couch and stare at the door, jump off and go to the door, walk around and sniff the carpet. He doesn't seem to stay in one place or rest at all. Last night's was the worst since we were gone for so long. I was horrified and so worried--I watched him before the play, during intermission and when it ended and the whole way home--no changes at all--never stayed still for more than seconds.

I don't know what to do. I am a worrywart and I don't know how I'll be able to leave the house knowing he's scared and acting this way. I was thinking that maybe I should get another dog, so he's not alone--although I'm not sure how he'll take to not being the only one. I definitely do not want to put him on anti-anxiety medicine, so I'm not going to talk to our doctor about this--I will reach out to our trainer, but I thought I'd start with you guys for your experiences with similar situations and/or your advice.

Thanks!

xo
Kim


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

Wow, that's a tough one. Unfortunately I don't have much advice. Have you tried one of those treat/game toys. It sounds like he needs to keep his mind busy. I'm thinking maybe more excercise to make him tired before you go somewhere?


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

I have no idea either. When I leave Luck spends most of his day sleeping, a couple of potty breaks, goes to the window to bark at people coming up the road, but mostly sleeping. I googled it and came up with:

Dog Anxiety Problems – How to Deal with an Anxious Dog


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Lydia. We have the puzzle games and I give him a bully stick--he doesn't go near it until I get home. I can try walking him, but unfortunately his walks are short--I'm not sure if he'll get tired, but I guess it's worth a shot. Once something sets him off fear wise, I supposed to bring him back in. We're trying to get outside as a not scary place and fun. Unfortunately, there's so much outside noise that sets him off--cars, people, sirens, etc. 



lydiatug said:


> Wow, that's a tough one. Unfortunately I don't have much advice. Have you tried one of those treat/game toys. It sounds like he needs to keep his mind busy. I'm thinking maybe more excercise to make him tired before you go somewhere?


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Walter. Trevor did the same--slept all day, but he was older by the time I got the camera--he was 8. It's really painful to watch Tyler--my heart breaks, but I can't be with him 24/7. Thanks for the link, I'll take a look and see if there's anything that could help.



wkomorow said:


> I have no idea either. When I leave Luck spends most of his day sleeping, a couple of potty breaks, goes to the window to bark at people coming up the road, but mostly sleeping. I googled it and came up with:
> 
> Dog Anxiety Problems – How to Deal with an Anxious Dog


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## elly (Sep 11, 2006)

Our 15 year old male maltese has night anxiety he starts pacing as soon as it gets dark. He is kennel trained and sleeps at night in his kennel. Last December he started to panic after he was put to bed. He would wake up howling and trying to get out. We did not sleep through the night for weeks. i took him to the vet and he prescribed Xanax. It has really helped. He gets 1/8 of a pill at bedtime and usually stays calm. I think a trainer is a great idea but you may also need something to calm him down when you are going away for several hours.


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## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

Kim, I am so sorry you are going through this with Tyler.
It must make it hard to enjoying doing anything when you are so worried about him.
Our Lhasa Buddy had extreme separation anxiety when we moved. We had a gate up to keep them all in a part of the house and he would hurl himself into the gate so much that the wires would dent.
I tried all kind of things for anxiety. You may have to try a few before you hit on one that works.
What seemed to work best is the DAP plug in pheromone. It takes a while before it works. Reviews say it seems to work for some dogs but not others. We also tried the thundershirt and Rescue Remedy. There are classical music for dogs programs or DVDs that also seem to help for some dogs.
We also worked on desensitization. Leaving for just a few minutes and building up the length of time. There were some good articles on this online. I will do a search and see what I can find.
You probably do this already, but I always leave mine with a treat or a stuffed kong to distract them and make it a positive thing when I leave. I also don't make a fuss - keep it low key when leaving.
There are also calming supplements that you can try instead of the prescription ones, but since it is really a behavior issue and he is young, if it were me I would try to address the behavior first.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

Kim, when you walk him, can you run him some? Faster motion might keep his mind on what he's doing and less on what's going on around him. Be sure you're not reacting to stuff while on your walks...it could be you triggering his anxiety because you are "expecting" him to react. Everything you feel goes right down that leash. Or get a treadmill! It works for me, lol! 

I really hate the thought of him being so anxious too. After all the training is tried, you might have to resort to some meds. As much as I'm usually against them, there is a place for them, maybe for a short time until he levels out.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

I totally agree with Kathleen, I would try supplements & non pharmaceuticals first. Rescue remedy didn't really work for us (Bayleigh needs something calming at nail cutting time), but there are other things to try too.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Kathleen--it's been difficult and now that I see what he's doing, even more so. He doesn't like peanut butter, so the Kong is unsuccessful--I've filled it with Cheerios, but he knocks those off right away. Also, he doesn't go near anything I leave for him--he's so focused on me not being here that he doesn't go near anything--even high quality. I had a thundershirt and that didn't work. I leave music on--it's called soundscapes on the TV--kind of like yoga/calming music. I don't make a huge fuss, but I do kiss him goodbye--he looks so dejected and sad. We're in an apartment and I close off the 2 bedroom doors and the hall bathroom, so he really only has access to the kitchen and living/dining room areas--it's probably around 600 or so square feet. As you suggest, I'll try the desensitizing first--I think that's a great idea. I sort of do that when I get dressed and don't leave, but not consistently. I did try the short interval thing and his reaction when I come back in the house is the same--he's hysterical. Even now if I run down to get the mail--it's as if I were gone for 10 hours. This is definitely challenging.



Kathleen said:


> Kim, I am so sorry you are going through this with Tyler.
> It must make it hard to enjoying doing anything when you are so worried about him.
> Our Lhasa Buddy had extreme separation anxiety when we moved. We had a gate up to keep them all in a part of the house and he would hurl himself into the gate so much that the wires would dent.
> I tried all kind of things for anxiety. You may have to try a few before you hit on one that works.
> ...


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

I can try that on the sidewalk. I do take him sometimes to the park or high school and we run around on the grass, which he seems to enjoy--keep in mind there aren't too many people around--the issue is both are not too close--especially if I need to go somewhere. 

I did trigger his fear when we were attacked, but I didn't know any better. I saw a dog running towards us and I panicked. I screamed and scooped him him. He was only 3 and a 1/2 months and still 3 pounds--I was scared to death. However, based on the training since that incident, I'm really calm. I have treats and always say, all is good, good boy and give him a treat. If a car door closes, one drives by, he sees a person, anything, he'll panic. That's when I'll say all is good. Also, if he's walking well, I'll do the same.

The treadmill is a great idea, but unfortunately, we don't have the room in our apartment--plus, we're on the top floor, so it may disturb our neighbors below--one of the down falls of not having a house!

I'd prefer to not put him on meds too. I was hoping he'd grow out of this, but he's exactly the same.



lydiatug said:


> Kim, when you walk him, can you run him some? Faster motion might keep his mind on what he's doing and less on what's going on around him. Be sure you're not reacting to stuff while on your walks...it could be you triggering his anxiety because you are "expecting" him to react. Everything you feel goes right down that leash. Or get a treadmill! It works for me, lol!
> 
> I really hate the thought of him being so anxious too. After all the training is tried, you might have to resort to some meds. As much as I'm usually against them, there is a place for them, maybe for a short time until he levels out.


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Tucker has separation anxiety. I don't feel like it's ever really cured. It is a whole way of thinking and a whole new way of doing things, unfortunately a little game or two, as you discovered will not help. I suggest trying to find a behaviorist instead of a trainer, you can ask your vet for recommendations or even call your local training facilities and ask them if they have one on staff. 

There are just so many things that go into correcting this, its difficult to get a real idea of it via forum post.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

I tried the rescue remedy--it also didn't work for me and it makes me nervous because if you give too much they can have an adverse reaction. I'll look into those supplements. Thanks Lydia!!!



lydiatug said:


> I totally agree with Kathleen, I would try supplements & non pharmaceuticals first. Rescue remedy didn't really work for us (Bayleigh needs something calming at nail cutting time), but there are other things to try too.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Shelly. Our hospital has one, but I know she'll go straight for meds, which I'd like to try to avoid if possible. The trainer, I think, is a behaviorist. We strictly work on the behavioral issues. I'm going to bring this up to her. I've got one more session in my package, but can always extend it.



shellbeme said:


> Tucker has separation anxiety. I don't feel like it's ever really cured. It is a whole way of thinking and a whole new way of doing things, unfortunately a little game or two, as you discovered will not help. I suggest trying to find a behaviorist instead of a trainer, you can ask your vet for recommendations or even call your local training facilities and ask them if they have one on staff.
> 
> There are just so many things that go into correcting this, its difficult to get a real idea of it via forum post.


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## elly (Sep 11, 2006)

I would like to say that I would prefer not to use Xanax, Edgar would dig and push so hard that he bent the metal kennel. Thank goodness he is crate trained or I do believe he would dig and destroy things. You could try melatonin and see if it calms him down. It is very safe for dogs. Unfortunately it did not work for Edgar.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Following up with what Kathleen said, I do have playlist for Luck that includes:

Amazon.com: Joshua Leeds, Lisa Spector: Through a Dog's Ear: Music to Calm Your Canine Companion, Volume 1: Music

For $13 it might be worth giving it a try.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Walter--I'll give that a try as an alternative to our TV!



wkomorow said:


> Following up with what Kathleen said, I do have playlist for Luck that includes:
> 
> Amazon.com: Joshua Leeds, Lisa Spector: Through a Dog's Ear: Music to Calm Your Canine Companion, Volume 1: Music
> 
> For $13 it might be worth giving it a try.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Cathy.

I'd like to try all options before going to meds. I'd like to think that with work and patience, we can fix this. Tyler isn't destroying anything. Not all the time, just sometimes, he will pee pee not on his bed, but again infrequently. Literally, it's the anxiety and can't sit still aspect that is the issue. I wish I could explain to him that he doesn't need to worry, but unfortunately that won't work!



elly said:


> I would like to say that I would prefer not to use Xanax, Edgar would dig and push so hard that he bent the metal kennel. Thank goodness he is crate trained or I do believe he would dig and destroy things. You could try melatonin and see if it calms him down. It is very safe for dogs. Unfortunately it did not work for Edgar.


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## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

elly said:


> I would like to say that I would prefer not to use Xanax, Edgar would dig and push so hard that he bent the metal kennel. Thank goodness he is crate trained or I do believe he would dig and destroy things. You could try melatonin and see if it calms him down. It is very safe for dogs. Unfortunately it did not work for Edgar.


Cathy, how awful! That sounds like what Buddy was doing. He would slam his head so hard into the gate that it bent. They really can hurt themselves.So scary.
Thank goodness the Xanax works for Edgar! Poor little guy! 

Kim, the supplement we used is Vetri Science Composure. It helped a little if I gave him a big dose. You don't need a prescription - it is on Chewy or Amazon. May help..

If you google "Kong recipes" you can find lots of healthy alternatives to peanut butter!

Here are a couple of articles that might help:

Separation Anxiety Solution: Training Fido That Calm Behavior Makes You Return | Animal Behavior and Medicine Blog | Dr. Sophia Yin, DVM, MS

What to Do If Your Dog Panics When You Leave


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks so much Kathleen--I look at all of this. I also contacted our trainer to see what she says!



Kathleen said:


> Cathy, how awful! That sounds like what Buddy was doing. He would slam his head so hard into the gate that it bent. They really can hurt themselves.So scary.
> Thank goodness the Xanax works for Edgar! Poor little guy!
> 
> Kim, the supplement we used is Vetri Science Composure. It helped a little if I gave him a big dose. You don't need a prescription - it is on Chewy or Amazon. May help..
> ...


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

Just be sure you're not treating him while he's in an anxious state, you don't want to reward that behavior. Better to ignore and keep moving forward if possible. Then when he's calm and thru it, give treat. 

They do have doggie treadmills, but I bet they're pricey. Stacy's Hef & Fat Amy got to test drive them at one of the dogs shows here in town, too cute!



kd1212 said:


> I can try that on the sidewalk. I do take him sometimes to the park or high school and we run around on the grass, which he seems to enjoy--keep in mind there aren't too many people around--the issue is both are not too close--especially if I need to go somewhere.
> 
> I did trigger his fear when we were attacked, but I didn't know any better. I saw a dog running towards us and I panicked. I screamed and scooped him him. He was only 3 and a 1/2 months and still 3 pounds--I was scared to death. However, based on the training since that incident, I'm really calm. I have treats and always say, all is good, good boy and give him a treat. If a car door closes, one drives by, he sees a person, anything, he'll panic. That's when I'll say all is good. Also, if he's walking well, I'll do the same.
> 
> ...


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

I have a different take on this situation. Certainly, I don't know all of the situation, but just try looking at your problem from a different perspective. Could it be that Tyler is not afraid of being alone, but he is anxious about not being able to protect you. He certainly must have been traumatized when you were panic stricken by a big dog approaching, and he must have felt the need to protect you. Even in the title of this thread, you describe yourself as panicked. You are afraid of leaving him at home alone, so he picks up on your fears. I believe that if you were able to relax and worry less, Tyler would also relax. How you manage to do that, I don't know. Just a thought for you to consider.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Jodi did have separation anxiety as a pup (got him at 16 months) and he did outgrow the worst of it. He sometimes looks sad when I leave and most times he isn't even watching me leave, he'll already be in his bed and ready to snooze all day. 

The first year (about that) was the worst. I didn't hug him good bye I just said a quiet bye bye and left quietly. I don't want to write a book so I 'll just list a few things I did.
- got up about 45 mins early (or whatever I needed) to feed, let him out 2x and exericise him, a 5-10 min walk) before I left the house. Tired dog is less anxious.

- used canned food to stuff a kong, frozen - so it lasts longer

- baby gate on the kitchen (small area - not the whole house) - he hated the 'den' /kennel it was too small and he felt trapped, it made things worse.

- as much routine as possible.

Suggestions - leave the apt several times a day, go for 5 minutes at a time (several days or a week or so of this , or several weeks? hard to say but keep it up) . Return but be very low key, quiet, even if he is jumping and excited. Just go about your business and walk around until he calms down and don't stop to look at him or talk to him. Stay quiet and just a simple pat only when he settles. you can go for 10 or 15 mins, 30 mins etc. Don't sit when you return (at first) because he'll probably jump up and be all over you.
He will learn that when you go out you do come back. When Tony leave maybe you can be in another room distracting him, if you are not already. Or playing fetch etc, . or giving him tiny bits of a really good treat, I say tiny bits because you might give him them constantly before he gets upset and by the time Tony leaves you haven't overfed him with treats. that's all my suggestions for now. 

it does get better. I think it's good that you are home, because you can control the time you leave him rather than being gone all day and wondering how he's doing. I used to come home lunchtimes to check on Jodi, let him out, etc. I found I was waking him up and he really didn't need to go potty (could wait all day eventually). Now though I do have a pee pad in the bathroom and if really needs to go he can.

Curious too though, you said he is hysterical when you return even if it's just for the mail....how does he act and how long does that last? And what do you do when he acts like it?

For exercise (if a walk is not an option) - fetch running up and down the hall? Is walking up and down the stairs in your apt bldg. an option?


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

When you leave the house are you anxious about leaving him? They can sense our fear, anxiety, sadness, etc. I would suggest the thunder shirt. Also, possible diffusing essential oils for calming. Young Living has several blends for calming.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks, but I don't think that's it. Maybe panicked wasn't the right word to use. Watching him pace back and forth when we're not home is heart breaking. I want him to just rest and not be so nervous. I always act calm around him and offer him comfort. The only thing I do when I leave is feel bad and give him a kiss, tell him I love him and I'll be home soon. It's never a big ordeal. 



Sylie said:


> I have a different take on this situation. Certainly, I don't know all of the situation, but just try looking at your problem from a different perspective. Could it be that Tyler is not afraid of being alone, but he is anxious about not being able to protect you. He certainly must have been traumatized when you were panic stricken by a big dog approaching, and he must have felt the need to protect you. Even in the title of this thread, you describe yourself as panicked. You are afraid of leaving him at home alone, so he picks up on your fears. I believe that if you were able to relax and worry less, Tyler would also relax. How you manage to do that, I don't know. Just a thought for you to consider.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks for all of this!!! 

I have to get better about the leaving without saying much part. We are pretty routinized, so that should help, but it hasn't thus far.

For the Tony issues, I have gone in another room--sometimes I'm actually on a business call, he sticks his nose under the door, jumps on the door, whimpers.

When I come home, he jumps up and has a high pitched, almost hysterical and uncontrollable bark. This lasts a long time--10 minutes or so. If I ignore him, he jumps--high jumps, grabs my shirt. I always try to put my things down first. I eventually give in because I'm afraid he'll get hurt with the high jumping. Also, if we come home late, I sit on the floor to try to calm him down because of our neighbors. When I go to get the mail, he'll get hysterical the same way, but for a shorter period of time. Oh yeah, say I go out to the store for an hour or less and I come home. He'll be hysterical, but then I'll go to my computer and go back to work and he'll sometimes calm down--then 2 minutes later, he'll get hysterical again--panting, racing heart, heavy breathing--all throughout the process.



Maglily said:


> Jodi did have separation anxiety as a pup (got him at 16 months) and he did outgrow the worst of it. He sometimes looks sad when I leave and most times he isn't even watching me leave, he'll already be in his bed and ready to snooze all day.
> 
> The first year (about that) was the worst. I didn't hug him good bye I just said a quiet bye bye and left quietly. I don't want to write a book so I 'll just list a few things I did.
> - got up about 45 mins early (or whatever I needed) to feed, let him out 2x and exericise him, a 5-10 min walk) before I left the house. Tired dog is less anxious.
> ...


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Not at all Sherry. I feel bad because he's sulky looking, but that's it. I tried the thunder shirt and it didn't make a difference. I can check into the diffusing essential oils. Kathleen suggested DAP too.

Thanks!



sherry said:


> When you leave the house are you anxious about leaving him? They can sense our fear, anxiety, sadness, etc. I would suggest the thunder shirt. Also, possible diffusing essential oils for calming. Young Living has several blends for calming.


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## mdbflorida (Feb 28, 2013)

So sorry. I don't have any experience but hope others can help.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Definitely. When he's anxious, I know to move or go back in. He won't take treats in that anxious state. For example, I may walk away from the spot we're in and sit on the steps--just to get him used to the sounds before we go back in. There's a point with him where I can tell he's done. The trainer said even if he's out for 2 minutes, that's okay--just be consistent with taking him and getting used to it.



lydiatug said:


> Just be sure you're not treating him while he's in an anxious state, you don't want to reward that behavior. Better to ignore and keep moving forward if possible. Then when he's calm and thru it, give treat.
> 
> They do have doggie treadmills, but I bet they're pricey. Stacy's Hef & Fat Amy got to test drive them at one of the dogs shows here in town, too cute!


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## Chardy (Oct 30, 2008)

McC was exactly like this that is how Bimmer came along. She was much better after we got Bimmer, but I could never leave for more than 3 hours. She would pace, howl, and cry. Sylvia is right with what she wrote. He is upset because he thinks he is pack leader and cannot protect you. When McC would start to pace Bimmer would chase her and then she would play with him. After she got sick I could no longer chance leaving her alone.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

That makes sense Carol, but did you feel that Bimmer helped eliminate some of the anxiety prior to her getting sick? Obviously, another dog is another expense and obvious concerns are that he would be okay with another.



Chardy said:


> McC was exactly like this that is how Bimmer came along. She was much better after we got Bimmer, but I could never leave for more than 3 hours. She would pace, howl, and cry. Sylvia is right with what she wrote. He is upset because he thinks he is pack leader and cannot protect you. When McC would start to pace Bimmer would chase her and then she would play with him. After she got sick I could no longer chance leaving her alone.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

When you say "The only thing I do when I leave is feel bad"...there it is. He knows you feel bad. You can't just "act" calm with dogs, you actually have to "be calm". They can spot a fake a mile away, lol!

I think Sylvia has a point too, and could be right on target, and Brenda has a lot of very good advice, all of which is worth trying. 

As far as the craziness when you get home, I guess I wouldn't be too worried about that except for the jumping and getting hurt part. Dogs don't really have a sense of time passing, so even if you leave for a short time they can still be very excited. I let mine get excited when I get home, but I don't feed the excitemement, if that makes sense. I just sit on the floor and let them get crazy (as long as they aren't excited pee-ers), then they go out potty and come in calm while I go about my business.

I would be a little careful with the idea of adding another pet to an already anxious situation. Not that it couldn't work, but more often than not, it just creates more anxiety.

I wish you luck!



kd1212 said:


> Thanks, but I don't think that's it. Maybe panicked wasn't the right word to use. Watching him pace back and forth when we're not home is heart breaking. I want him to just rest and not be so nervous. I always act calm around him and offer him comfort. The only thing I do when I leave is feel bad and give him a kiss, tell him I love him and I'll be home soon. It's never a big ordeal.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

I have always had anxiety issues with Matilda, that's one reason we got Maddie 
A few weeks ago we video taped the girls while we were away. I was really surprised to find both girls didn't lay down and sleep. Instead they would walk around, and occasionally they would go to there beds and just lay there. They barked at any sound. Once in a great while we leave the girls, they have to adjust we just can't be home all the time:blush:

Kim I would if you could borrow someone's fluff for a few days and see if Tyler settles down some. If it works you might need to think about another:innocent: just sayin (that was my excuse):innocent:


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

Excuses work for me! I would love another fluff, although hubby won't cave just yet. I thought he had while I was in Chicago and fell in love with one Carina's babies, but NOPE, not yet anyway...


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Kim -

Marie (Snowball Pie's Mommi) had an very serious issue with Snowball regarding his separation anxiety. She is having some issues posting, but she asked if I go post a couple of links to past posts about Snowball's experiences and a very serious and scary misstep and the remedies that worked for her. She will update on where Snowball is now as soon as she can.

http://spoiledmaltese.com/forum/2358554-post12.html

http://spoiledmaltese.com/forum/2434226-post27.html


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

A holistic vet might help you with supplements. Tessa uses a flower essence for separation anxiety and it does make a difference. It's not a prescription per se but it is only available through veterinarians.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

Oh Walter, I can't even imagine a trainer of any kind using those kinds of tactics, just makes me ill!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

kd1212 said:


> Thanks for all of this!!!
> 
> I have to get better about the leaving without saying much part. We are pretty routinized, so that should help, but it hasn't thus far.
> 
> ...



Oh maybe the sitting on the floor would be a good thing ( I know it contradicts what I suggested, but you also don't want it to escalate to the jumping) . Maybe that's what he needs, moreso to give him the attention before he is totally calm.
Maybe he needs a more gradual change and a reward for some calmness not only when there's total calm. This might go against all training methods I have no idea, but it seems he needs something extra, or a different approach. 

well this reminds me now that Jodi would bark at me if I went downstairs out of his sight, he will also not stay in a room with the door closed.
Would he be content in a bed right at your feet at your desk? or on a chair right next to your chair? (or on something more steady/secure than a chair).


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Lydia. I really do make an effort to be non-chalant about leaving and walking amongst people and noises not a big deal. Hopefully, time some of these tips will help!!!




lydiatug said:


> When you say "The only thing I do when I leave is feel bad"...there it is. He knows you feel bad. You can't just "act" calm with dogs, you actually have to "be calm". They can spot a fake a mile away, lol!
> 
> I think Sylvia has a point too, and could be right on target, and Brenda has a lot of very good advice, all of which is worth trying.
> 
> ...


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Paula!

That sounds like a good idea. I heard adjusting to a puppy is easier for them than an adult dog.

I did bring up the fact that a second might help--he said I'm on my own if I get another one--he won't contribute. I'm okay with that. I think it would be a good idea for both of us actually. There's a lot of just me and Tyler--I think that's why he's so attached and clingy:wub:



Matilda's mommy said:


> I have always had anxiety issues with Matilda, that's one reason we got Maddie
> A few weeks ago we video taped the girls while we were away. I was really surprised to find both girls didn't lay down and sleep. Instead they would walk around, and occasionally they would go to there beds and just lay there. They barked at any sound. Once in a great while we leave the girls, they have to adjust we just can't be home all the time:blush:
> 
> Kim I would if you could borrow someone's fluff for a few days and see if Tyler settles down some. If it works you might need to think about another:innocent: just sayin (that was my excuse):innocent:


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

LOL...I've gone from absolutely never to if you do you're on your own as far as expenses. That's part of the reason I want to make sure it would be okay for Tyler--not just me!



lydiatug said:


> Excuses work for me! I would love another fluff, although hubby won't cave just yet. I thought he had while I was in Chicago and fell in love with one Carina's babies, but NOPE, not yet anyway...


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Great--thank you so much and thanks to Marie!



wkomorow said:


> Kim -
> 
> Marie (Snowball Pie's Mommi) had an very serious issue with Snowball regarding his separation anxiety. She is having some issues posting, but she asked if I go post a couple of links to past posts about Snowball's experiences and a very serious and scary misstep and the remedies that worked for her. She will update on where Snowball is now as soon as she can.
> 
> ...


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

You sound like the trainer (LOL). The trainer said to reward for being calm--reward not necessarily a treat, but attention, belly rub, etc.

He just can't seem to calm down--he's hysterical--poor guy.

I'm going to review everything and start right away on some changes. I'm also still waiting to hear back from the trainer.

Thanks for everything:wub:

I've got a bed with Jodi and Tyler's blanket on it next to my desk and he'll often sleep, which he is now under my desk.


Maglily said:


> Oh maybe the sitting on the floor would be a good thing ( I know it contradicts what I suggested, but you also don't want it to escalate to the jumping) . Maybe that's what he needs, moreso to give him the attention before he is totally calm.
> Maybe he needs a more gradual change and a reward for some calmness not only when there's total calm. This might go against all training methods I have no idea, but it seems he needs something extra, or a different approach.
> 
> well this reminds me now that Jodi would bark at me if I went downstairs out of his sight, he will also not stay in a room with the door closed.
> Would he be content in a bed right at your feet at your desk? or on a chair right next to your chair? (or on something more steady/secure than a chair).


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Maggie! I've tried Rescue Remedy, but I wasn't thrilled with his reaction. I do know a holistic doctor, but I'd prefer to go to a different one. I know it was coincidental, but I had him come over to work with Trevor, the next day Trevor's health dramatically declined and then 2 days later we had to put him to sleep. I'll do some research...



maggieh said:


> A holistic vet might help you with supplements. Tessa uses a flower essence for separation anxiety and it does make a difference. It's not a prescription per se but it is only available through veterinarians.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

If you want to add another puppy to your house, my advice is to take your time and not rush right into it! You're going to want a nice adaptable puppy who isn't going to add to the anxiety and you really can't tell adult temperament at 8 weeks. 12 weeks or older is a MUCH better time. Good luck!


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Stacy. I wouldn't mind another, but I want to do what's best for Tyler. That's an option if it will help him--I wouldn't want to make matters worse, so I'll have to see. I'm still waiting to hear back from the trainer.

Also, Walter sent some posts from Marie who had a similar issue with Snowball and I'm going to follow her lead. There's a Dr/Behaviorist at my hospital--I was afraid to call because I don't want him on meds, but I'm going to call this morning and set up an appointment. 





bellaratamaltese said:


> If you want to add another puppy to your house, my advice is to take your time and not rush right into it! You're going to want a nice adaptable puppy who isn't going to add to the anxiety and you really can't tell adult temperament at 8 weeks. 12 weeks or older is a MUCH better time. Good luck!


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## Pooh's mommy (Aug 31, 2014)

Kim... I am sorry that Tyler is having separation anxieties.

I am sorry that I can not offer you any positive advice because my situation with Pooh is the complete opposite...

when I have to leave her... instead of becoming hyper and active she becomes depressed and inactive. Even when she is with other members of the family she will go to her bed as soon as I walk out the door and stay there until I return. Kongs and puzzle toys, chews and such do not work because she will not pay them any attention until I come back home. 

I wish you the best of luck because it is hard to leave them when we cannot stay with them 24/7.
Sorry that I do not have any helpful advice but I do feel your pain and hope that you find a solution that works for you 
(((Big Hugs)))


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Cindy-big hugs back:wub:

It is so hard to watch him wonder back and forth. I wish he'd just sleep on the couch. That's how I leave him on a blanket on the couch, but then the wondering around.



Pooh's mommy said:


> Kim... I am sorry that Tyler is having separation anxieties.
> 
> I am sorry that I can not offer you any positive advice because my situation with Pooh is the complete opposite...
> 
> ...


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## LOVE_BABY (May 5, 2015)

*What worked for us to solve separation anxiety & car anxiety*

Baby used to have separation anxiety. We would put him in his crate with the door open to it, and he had full run of the gated kitchen area when we would go out & leave him alone. As soon as we would start to leave he would bark & cry. 

This is what worked for us. What I began to do to change Baby's anxiety level is I would show _no emotion_ at all when putting him inside his crate just before leaving. I wouldn't act sad at all or show guilt. I would just calmly put him in there _right before_ I was ready to go out the door {not earlier than that}. Before leaving at the very,very last minute I would give him a treat and tell him he is a good boy calmly, but didn't load him with affection {which I knew would make his anxiety about Hubby & I leaving worse}. Then I would turn my back and leave immediately _*without saying goodbye*_ {saying good bye would increase his anxiety}.

After doing that routine regularly a few times eventually Baby became perfectly quiet when we leave now. He even PUTS HIMSELF into his crate if you can believe it! I still do the same routine every time. Somehow that boy actually 'senses' and knows the difference between when I am planning to 'bring him with us' or 'leave him at home'. Somehow he knows when I am going out without him and he puts himself into his crate! We were beyond relieved when his behavior changed. We believe he sleeps the whole time we are gone. This also worked for major anxiety that he used to have about going into his booster seat inside our car, 
I used the same treat/Good boy method & he absolutely LOVES the car now:w00t:!


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Sandy--I've got an x pen and he screamed as a puppy when we put him in there and the first trainer I had said to forget using it. The one I recently had, had me use it for time outs and he was fine in it. 

Thanks for your story--I've received a lot of great tips and advice.



LOVE_BABY said:


> Baby used to have separation anxiety. We would put him in his crate with the door open to it, and he had full run of the gated kitchen area when we would go out & leave him alone. As soon as we would start to leave he would bark & cry.
> 
> This is what worked for us. What I began to do to change Baby's anxiety level is I would show _no emotion_ at all when putting him inside his crate just before leaving. I wouldn't act sad at all or show guilt. I would just calmly put him in there _right before_ I was ready to go out the door {not earlier than that}. Before leaving at the very,very last minute I would give him a treat and tell him he is a good boy calmly, but didn't load him with affection {which I knew would make his anxiety about Hubby & I leaving worse}. Then I would turn my back and leave immediately _*without saying goodbye*_ {saying good bye would increase his anxiety}.
> 
> ...


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

kd1212 said:


> Thanks Stacy. I wouldn't mind another, but I want to do what's best for Tyler. That's an option if it will help him--I wouldn't want to make matters worse, so I'll have to see. I'm still waiting to hear back from the trainer.
> 
> Also, Walter sent some posts from Marie who had a similar issue with Snowball and I'm going to follow her lead. There's a Dr/Behaviorist at my hospital--I was afraid to call because I don't want him on meds, but I'm going to call this morning and set up an appointment.


Hi Kim ...

I am not a professional on separation anxiety ... but, from my experience with Snowball ... and, after reading your posts about Tyler ... I think Tyler will do great with the guidance of a good behaviorist/veterinarian (just make sure the vet has the right credentials as a behaviorist). 

I am with you in regard to not wanting to use medications for separation anxiety. I understand there are cases with pets who suffer from severe separation anxiety that do need meds because they have already been shown to seriously injure themselves ... and, thus need something in order to avoid the risk of death.

As for adding an additional dog to the family, in hopes of helping another dog's anxiety issues ... that does not always work out. At one point, we had been considering another dog ... thinking that it might help Snowball feel more secure ... if we had to leave him at home alone for a while. Our vet actually offered to go visit pups (and, with Snowball) with us ... to see if she thought there would be a dog that would be compatible with Snowball's temperament and personality. 

Dr. Reich, the behaviorist/veterinarian ... ended up to be a big blessing for us. We paid over five hundred dollars for her to visit us in our home. However, it was well worth it. She spent over six hours that afternoon. At first, I wondered how she could pick up so much about Snowball's personality and any physical issues ... just by observing him for the first few hours. However, she was amazing! She ended up to be right on target with both physical and personality findings. She also wrote up a seven page detailed report of her findings and diagnosis. And, we also received copies of her recommendations for training ... which she worked with us, beforehand, here at home. 

The important thing to keep in mind is that the process will probably take baby steps and patience before any major changes might occur. But, it is well worth the work, baby steps, and patience.

Snowball is doing great today. However, both my husband and I are retired. So, one of us is always here with him. I think if we had a dire emergency and Snowball had to be left here alone for a short period of time ... that he would probably be okay. However, because he has a diagnosis of mitral valve disease, I don't feel comfortable testing the waters. He tends to start coughing if upset or excited ... so, I don't want to do anything that might exacerbate the mitral valve disease.

One other thing that has helped Snowball when on his walks. He used to bark and attempt to jump up at people passing by. Although Snowball already knew basic commands ... we needed to get him to calm down during walks. So, even though Snowball was no longer a puppy ... we still enrolled him in puppy classes. This way he could be around smaller dogs ... while being in a controlled environment with a trainer. The classes were held in our vet's offices so it was very safe. It was perfect. Snowball was around a lot of smaller dogs and their parents ... while at the same time, being trained to react in a calm way around people and other pets on his actual walks. Now it is rare for Snowball to jump up and bark at strangers on his walks. He just walks past people and children as though they are not in his presence.

Kim, if you have any questions, please feel free to PM me. I would also be happy to talk with you on the phone.

I am looking forward to see how your appointment with the behaviorist/ veterinarian goes. I recommend that you be upfront about your feelings on medication ... a good behaviorist will hear you.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

If the blanket that's on the couch is the same one he sleeps on in his bed, I would leave it on his bed (on the floor). It is one more familiar thing rather than a change.

For some reason Jodi hated his crate (door closed) but when I put it in the kitchen with the door open, he loved it. That was his safe place in the corner, the kitchen it'self was gated too.


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Marie,
Im PMing you...

xo



Snowball Pie's Mommi said:


> Hi Kim ...
> 
> I am not a professional on separation anxiety ... but, from my experience with Snowball ... and, after reading your posts about Tyler ... I think Tyler will do great with the guidance of a good behaviorist/veterinarian (just make sure the vet has the right credentials as a behaviorist).
> 
> ...


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Thanks Brenda! He actually sleeps in my bed, but what I do is leave him a tshirt that I wore or pjs.



Maglily said:


> If the blanket that's on the couch is the same one he sleeps on in his bed, I would leave it on his bed (on the floor). It is one more familiar thing rather than a change.
> 
> For some reason Jodi hated his crate (door closed) but when I put it in the kitchen with the door open, he loved it. That was his safe place in the corner, the kitchen it'self was gated too.


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## plenty pets 20 (Jul 8, 2006)

Do you ever have other dogs over to play?? How does he do around other dogs??


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## kd1212 (Nov 5, 2013)

Hi Edie:

I had him going to Zoom Room for puppy classes/socialization after his two bad experiences with other dogs. Then we went into obedience and agility. He seemed to ignore other dogs or was frightened--except one--Cha Cha a little Yorkie. Then after several months of obedience and agility he began growling at dogs if approached--after a French Bull Dog acted aggressively in one of the classes. However, he always seemed to want to go play or smell Cha Cha. I stopped going to Zoom Room all together around December/January because he plateaued and I don't think he enjoyed it anymore. I then started working with a private trainer with him. I went on a hike/long walk with a friend who has a Cocker Spaniel and he did fine--they didn't really interact, but he wasn't scared and even sniffed him. I've never had anyone over to my house with a dog though.



plenty pets 20 said:


> Do you ever have other dogs over to play?? How does he do around other dogs??


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## Bailey&Me (Mar 8, 2010)

Hi Kim. Just making sure you had seen this post by Aastha. If not, definitely check it out. She posted a great video of her training with Gustave who had some separation anxiety after they moved in to their new house recently. 

http://spoiledmaltese.com/forum/54-maltese-training/226137-helping-your-dog-separation-anxiety.html


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## Ann Mother (Dec 18, 2013)

My daughter had a dog which had separation anxiety her whole life. She died this past December. Another animal in the house helped her the most. My daughter would foster cats sometimes and finally got a rescue dog. Before that she had her on medicine with so so results. She monitored her and there was continuous pacing. The thunder shirt also helped.


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## [email protected] (May 9, 2015)

My 4 year old Sophie used to very very anxious if she's not within a few inches of me (as of 3 weeks ago). 
Every time she got close to snuggle, I'd inch away. Pretty soon, we were a few feet away from one another. The next day, the next room. Now, I can be in the living room doing stuff and she'd be in bed sleeping.

If you can make it so your doggie feels its a hassle or boring to keep following you or being next to you, he'd look for something else to do.

Now when I leave the house for a few minutes, Sophie would run and bark for a couple of minutes (versus several hours). When I come back home, she's comfortably resting on the bed. Usually, before I leave the house, we'd go out for a poo walk/jog. That way I know she's completely empty.

I prefer not to use treats, as it may make her have some accidents. (Running room-to-room while barking, she'd either vomit, pee, or poop.) 

I hope this helps. I know the feeling having Tyler being scared and not being able to do anything about it. Just be patient and don't take short-cuts.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Hi Kim,

I posted a video some time ago on how we deal with separation anxiety. Gustave had SA when he was a puppy and we were successfully able to train it out of him using this method. Unfortunately, it came back when we moved to a new house. I'm happy to say we are good now and using the same method now he's fine when we leave. See if it works for you. 

https://youtu.be/RxmABV8RS00


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