# Help. Don't like my older dog.



## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

I feel ashamed, but I don't like my older cocker spaniel anymore. He is 16 years old and I used to adore him. Ever since I got a loving little maltese (4 years ago), I have not liked the cocker. He has bitten me over the years, has never been a loving dog, will not let anyone pick him up and tries to bite, is spoiled rotten (by me), wants fed at 4:00 pm and 6:00 am whether it is my day off or not, prances and stares at me until I feed him, and has started pooing in the house. I have to feed him by the door because as soon as he eats, he poos on the floor, even if he has just been outside. I just have had it with him and feel stuck with a dog I don't like. I know this isn't nice and I feel so guilty.


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

Gosh. Not quite sure how to respond. I know senior dogs can present problems with feeding and pottying. Please try to be patient and remember what you loved about him. He was your one and only for a long time. Perhaps he senses the loss of affection, poor dear. Much as you love the malt, maybe some special one on one time with your first love would be good for both of you. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

He most likely has some medical issues that are cuasing the pooping on the carpet. I do not tolerate dogs biting me-is it possible he's in a lot of pain? 

If it's just an issue of being spoiled, I would say it's time for some nilif training 

Editing to add, I have a very hard time, feeling warm and fuzzy about animals who are nasty to me-so if that's what is going on, I can understand.


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## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

He isn't in pain I don't believe. Just had blood work to have his teeth cleaned and that was good. Isn't on any meds. I think the pooing is just that he is older. I have to watch him when I let him out. Sometimes will not leave the deck. I have to go out and get him to go out in the yard and then he will potty. He can poo every time he goes out. The biting has always been. We have never let him around kids. The change is just me. I just have had it and don't like him. I'm still good to him, don't get me wrong, I just feel guilty that I don't like him anymore. I think I just wanted to tell someone. My maltese loves him and he likes the maltese. We had to scold him because he also tried to bite him when he was little, but they are definitely buddies which I like and feel comfortable with.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

I understand how you feel. I have a bichon who is almost fifteen. I love her, and I take care of her, but she isn't the same as she used to be. Peoples personalities change when they are very old and dogs do too. There isn't anything you can do about it, but continue to care for him and accept the situation.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I'm not sure how to reply to all the issues, but of course I think he gets excited about eating, this is probably the highlight of his day and after 16 years on a schedule, it's hard to change now. My two (cat and dog) are active around 6 -7 am too, all week long and go right back to sleep after I get up to feed them. Sigh! even my sweet little malt wants his meals on schedule too and if I get back in bed and he's in his own bed, he'll get up again and want to get in my bed again. Your little malt may be demanding when he's old too. As for not wanting to be picked up....I guess that's ok except for biting in protest. Training or re-training tips?? I don't pick up my cat much because she doesn't like it but she will allow it without biting. 
I can understand being tired a little when they become more work (my cat is 16) than you like but they are your babies and they look to you for comfort and caring.


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## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

You mean you won't take him? . I know that's what I have to do, nothing I can do. Had a cocker before him that had the sweetest personality. She was a joy. Of course Mason has spoiled me. Maltese only from now on. He's the best ever.


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## Yogi's Mom (Jan 6, 2013)

*This Post Makes Me Sad-You feel That Way.*
*I Bet all the dogs in the pounds and shelters had someone feel the same way********
*I Pray You Make Good Choices-God Bless Nickee In Pa**
*Focus On All The Love and Great Memories You Must Have With Him.!!!*

*Would You Feel The Same way If The Malt Would Get that Way When Hes Older? If So Id Re-Home Them Both.*


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## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

Yikes. I'm not a meanie. I'm still good to him. He's just aggravating. No I wouldn't feel like that about the Maltese. Totally different feelings. We are good doggie parents otherwise he wouldn't be 16 with no health problems, great teeth etc. he even had a root canal when he had a broken tooth, so I don't think I'm all that bad. Geesh.


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

jeannief said:


> Yikes. I'm not a meanie. I'm still good to him. He's just aggravating. No I wouldn't feel like that about the Maltese. Totally different feelings. We are good doggie parents otherwise he wouldn't be 16 with no health problems, great teeth etc. he even had a root canal when he had a broken tooth, so I don't think I'm all that bad. Geesh.


Ahh I don't think you're a bad person Jeannie. I don't think anyone else necissarily thinks that either. I'm guessing the malts are much more docile and sweet then your cocker?  I've heard maany stories about moody cockers and my sister had one I didn't necissarily like very much.

It's very honest of you to admit your feelings-my feelings for my parrot have changed so much over the years-and we've been through a lot together. There have been times where I have found myself not being particularly fond of him so I understand. And I've felt bad about it.

It sounds to me like you aren't necissarily looking for feed back or advice on what to do, you just wanted to get it off your chest.


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## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

Exactly. Thank you!!


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## Dominic (Nov 4, 2012)

Hi Jeannie,
I don't think you are bad at all. I think you are opening your heart and allowing you and the whole forum friends to know the feelings you have been holding inside your heart. I believe that's very brave of you and as much as I don't understand when you say you don't like him anymore I respect that those are your feelings and you are entitled to them.

Whatever, I also believe a senior dog deserves love and affection as much as a new sparkling puppy and if you don't make an effort to try to bring back any good feelings between you both, things are just going to get harder and harder - for you... Because he is probably already used to not having your attention anymore and just care about his food. 

Try to heal your heart towards him and see if you can find inside of you the compassion that may help you to handle this. Not only dogs but us, we too will get old and young people full of life will take our places, you don't want to feel "unloved" when you are old, grumpy and boring in need of assistance. 

Once again, I'm not preaching on you. I'm trying to give you my opinion willing that will help you to go through this. 

Much love from me and from Dominic


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

I think your reaction is understandable. After 16 years of biting you get tired of it. And now you also have the Maltese to compare with. The constant pooping is also annoying. Maybe if you change him to another food he will poop less ? (when we fed our diabetic lhasa a certain kind of dog food, he pooped a lot, vet said it was the food, so we changed him to another food and he pooped less) As long as you care for him and treat him nicely, you don't have to feel guilty.


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## LuvMyBoys (Jan 2, 2012)

I'm sick of my 16 year old too...but he's a skin kid. Been talking back for 15.5 years. 

Sorry you are going thru this, I can't imagine how weird it feels.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

You know that 16 years ago cockers were very popular and as a result suffered some serious bad breeding issues. One of those was a tendency to bite. Their poor little brains got kind of screwed up when they were being bred by any and all. I know, because I had a cocker who was a nut case. I loved him and he loved me, but I lost a lot of friends because of my insane dog...not really, but close. So, I had my boy, he was gorgeous, devoted and problematic. Then I got a bichon. My cocker accepted him and they were best buddies, but....having a dog who was so easy, so loveable, so darn nice shed a new light on the dog who I loved, but was always a problem. I think you may be having a similar experience. I just want to warn you that when I lost the little monster, the pain was unbearable. 

I suspect that you may be having a hard day, you may be feeling worn out and at your wits end. Oh wait...there is another very important element that you should consider...he is sixteen, you know that he isn't going to be with you much longer. It is human nature to put up fences. Oh, I did that with my own FATHER...I knew I would loose him soon, and in some crazy way to try to make it less painful I started to think of everything he had ever done wrong. It is human nature to try and soften up the fall. Could you be doing that?


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## ThatBrunette (Jun 14, 2012)

I was having coffee with a friend last week. She was a bit frustrated with her declining-health senior dog. The noise level went down right before she said "My stupid old dog just won't die!".


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## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

When dogs are old, they can have a hard time digesting their food which may be the reason for the poop urgency. It is also not good because they don't absorb the nutrients. This can also make them feel very hungry.
You could try adding digestive enzymes, like Prozyme, to his food. I would talk to your vet about it. This really isnt normal, even for an older dog, and their could be something medical going on too.
I hope you can find a way to be happier with you little old guy. Very sad situation for both of you.


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## Muffin's Mama (Mar 3, 2012)

Some dogs are easier to love than others. Some are difficult to bond with. Our Muffin is going on 14 years old. She's partially blind, partially deaf but still gets around pretty well. She's always been neurotic and hard to be close to. She's focused on food and treats at all times--I mean every minute of every day--and the other dogs we've had (and now have) don't have neurotic issues, are more focused on us, and have more personality.

When Gracie got very sick and passed on last year (Feb 15) the thought crossed my mind, "Why Gracie?" I didn't finish the line of thought at the time but I could have and it would have been, "Why not Muffin instead?" 

I make sure to spend time every day holding Muffin, talking to her and giving her attention, but I'm not as attached to her as the rest. That's my true confession, if it makes you feel any better.  

One more thing: We (unknowingly) got Muffin from a puppy mill. I think that's the reason for her problems. 
Jane


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## MoonDog (Jun 6, 2011)

Jeannie, I have a poodle mix who will be 8 this April. He's mean too. He is a bag of nerves and when anyone comes over, I have to hold him or lock him in a room so he won't bite our visitor. We love to entertain but hardly ever do because of Finnegan. He's a total mess. But he's our total mess and our cross to bare because we chose to take him in when he needed a family. He loves our other dogs and is Griffin's best buddy. I hired a trainer, I've tried everything short of a shock collar and nothing works. We're stuck with him. We love him even though we may not like him at times but I can say that about my oldest skin kid too. He's a lot like Finnegan although I've never known him to bite anyone. :HistericalSmiley: What I'm saying is this: We're all Finnegan's got and we'll never turn our backs on him. Your cocker is 16. One day when he's gone, you'll look back and be happy you gave him a good life and a good home. You'll even miss him a little bit I bet. So just hang tight and appreciate that he is a good buddy to Mason. Let him know you love him even though he's difficult, because I know you do. :thumbsup:


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## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

You all have made me feel better. I haven't told anyone how I have been feeling. We would never get rid of him and we treat him well, look after him. He is ours. I have had bronchitis this week and just have felt at my wits end. Plus like I said, he is Mason's buddy and would be lost without him.


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## Madeleinesmommy (Nov 30, 2012)

I think you can have days where you don't like your dog but obviously you still love them. I've never really felt that with my Maddie. I get really annoyed with her when she refuses to go potty then pees on the carpet. But we had/have another dog that is my brother's and they just moved out but there were days where I did not like her. She would whine all day when my brother wasn't around. She only really responded to him. She acted like she was annoyed with us. I swear she didn't like me. But then we'd have a really sweet moment and I didn't feel that way for a while. She was the most intelligent of the 3 and could sense when you were sick and she would lay on your chest to check on you. 

Yes you are right! Malts are the best! B)


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## IvysMom (Dec 24, 2012)

Please, you don't have to feel guilty at all as long as you are doing your best for him which it certainly sounds as if you are. It is normal to feel aggravated when you are going the extra effort to take care of somebody and they literally bite the hand that feeds them and don't seem to appreciate your efforts. 

I was going to bring up skin-kids too and how many MANY parents feel the same way about their 2-legged teen kids sometimes. They still love them and care for them, but they sure don't like them very much at times. That is not abnormal, that is not wrong, it is just the way it is sometimes so don't feel guilty. You are meeting his needs as best as he will let you, and are doing more than many would do for him.

I would definitely take him in to the vets on the pooping. As someone already mentioned above, that situation may be able to be improved through adding supplements and/or a change of food. Something as simple as the doggie version of Metamucil might help considerably.

He may also be beginning to suffer from the doggie version of Alzheimers, and may be having increased confusion that could increase both the biting and the pooping. Our first Maltese was definitely in cognitive decline her last year and it did make things considerably more difficult around here for all of us. Your vet can assess him for this too.

The vets I've had in the past have always told me that the three breeds of dogs most likely to bite are definitely the "3 C's": Chihuahua, Chow, and Cocker. Thus, it isn't surprising to hear that your little guy snaps. From what I've heard it is a common trait within the breed. 

Come back and share your frustrations of the day anytime. There are many others of us here who have had elderly dogs who understand how trying and exhausting it can be to care for them at times. Sometimes a person just needs a place to vent about it where there are others who understand. I don't think you'll find a better place than here.


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## Yogi's Mom (Jan 6, 2013)

jeannief said:


> You all have made me feel better. I haven't told anyone how I have been feeling. We would never get rid of him and we treat him well, look after him. He is ours. I have had bronchitis this week and just have felt at my wits end. Plus like I said, he is Mason's buddy and would be lost without him.


 
Mason Is A Cutie Pie-Just adorable and he loves him----
AND SO DO YOU. It Will Get Better Just Have Faith, Sending Prayers Your Way. Nickee In Pa*


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

16 is a good age for a cocker, you got your malt when he was 12 ,so even 12 is getting up there..it might have been too much for him to adjust too plus his place in the family changed...

We've had cockers for years. When we got Buffy she was the most loving spoiled little girl, an only dog,then we got Amy 5 years later and Buffy changed, she was peeing and pooping all over and not as affectionate as she was...
Al got so disgusted he kept Buffy in the basement since it didn't have carpet, no sleeping with us...
Al treated Amy with much more affection than Buffy and she knew it...
I really feel it's what shortened her life, a broken heart.
I saw what getting another dog much later in Buffy's life did ,and I swore I wouldn't do that to Amy and we didn't get another dog until Amy was close to passing..they helped us deal with loosing Amy.

Amy developed canine dementia as she got older and it was hard and it was demanding,so we didn't get another dog until we knew she was going to pass, which she had to be sent to the bridge,she didn't know who or what was going on around her. We kept the puppies in the kitchen ,in an xpen, the last 4 days of her life...I doubt she knew they were there,but it gave us time to say goodbye...and the puppies were there to help us through our grief...

I think if you get dogs close in time, maybe a year ,maybe it makes a difference. 
We got Emily and Sasha (maltese) at the same time, then 6 months later Amber (cocker). Maybe since Emily and Sasha had each other, it worked.
All depends on the dog. Cockers are very sensative...

We never had a cocker that bit ,except Amy but she had a bad tooth and I accidentally touched her sore spot the wrong way giving her a pill. 

Try taking him to the vet, they do have meds for canine dementia, it might improve him a bit, maybe long enough to get ready for that ,inevitable time, he's 16 and I'm not sure how healthy he is...

Your cocker could be in pain, could be developing canine dementia...Dementia can take the form of overactive pooing and peeing, or forgetting where he is and pottying right on the spot...anxiety and confusion could lead to biting ,the same way it does in in humans...
I was a psych nurse and it's amazing the similarities..

They will be more withdrawn and less affectionate as they get older... They will have a lower threshold for aggression and will become more easily agitated..

Try a vet brand of food that may help slow down motility some. I know cheaper foods go through some dogs really fast... when we were first married, before vets had their perscription brands, we'd buy grocery store dog food and it ran trough them quickly and they ate more than needed to get the nutrition. So what you feed and how much will determine motility (how fast it travels through them)

It's surprising but most people actually overfeed their dogs... Talk to your vet, see if a food change and reducing food amount will help and check into med management, he may need meds to increase dopamine levels to improve cognitive function but at 16 it may be too late...

The old skit from Saturday Night Live just popped into my head..."doggie downers and puppy uppers".

You're his primary care taker and as with humans, we caretakers get frustrated, worn out, burned out and feel like the one we're caring for ticks us off sometimes and we just don't want to do it any more... we can develop some resentments, it's not that we're bad people, we're just human...It's hard to keep feeding the one who bites us...human or canine...

Been there and been bitten by enough humans with dementia too...

You love him or you wouldn't be reaching out...


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I have 4 malts and one cocker now,definate differences in the two breeds.
We've had a dozen or so cockers over the years...
Plus I worked at a shelter and still volunteer, definately seen some biters among cockers...


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## KissesBacci (Feb 6, 2013)

*Oh darlin', I know EXACTLY how you feel.*

*My mom got me a cocker (Julie) for my 13th birthday. She also decided to adopt Julie's mama- Maggie. Well, Maggie loved my mom to death but nobody else existed in the world. Julie was independant and refused to belong to anyone. All they did was lay around all day and didnt even know how to play. I tried to teach them things but they had absolutely no interest. We'd take them to the park and after 5 minutes of running, they were ready to leave.*
*Both my mom and I always say that a dog always chooses his owner from the very first day. He bonds with ONE person more than the others, and even though he will love and listen to everyone in the family, he will listen a greater deal to his chosen owner.*

*Both Maggie and Julie passed away 2 years ago, and I was JUST having a conversation with my mom about them yesterday. We came to the conclusion that Julie never accepted any of us as her owners. Thats why if we called her to come, she would look at us like we're crazy and walk the opposite direction. *

*Because of the fact that Julie was so nonchalant, I (as a kid) started to resent her. I would still pet her and try to play with her and cuddle with her, but after those 5 minutes of cuddles (which I KNEW she couldnt wait to be over with) I just completely resented her. How could this dog, that we give so much love and care for, treat us all like we're not existent? I felt the same for Maggie- in Maggie's world, nobody existed but my mom. And then, toward the end of their lives for the last 2-3 years, they started developing major health issues. Julie got glaucoma and became blind in both eyes, and maggie developed lymphoma. *

*When that happened, despite my resentment, my heart ached for those two dogs, especially Julie. And the pain that you feel when they pass on is unexplainable. On one hand its a relief, on the other hand its very painful and saddening.*

*So, the point that I'm trying to make here is, hang in there and try to be positive. He's been your baby for 16 years, regardless of his flaws. He's at that age where his time is running out and I assure you that when it does, you will miss him at least a little bit. In the meantime, try to show him as much love and affection as you can while he's still alive. This way you will know in your heart that once he passes, he was a dog that died happy and loved. That my dear, will take away any guilt you may feel. *

*I have NEVER in my life felt an attachment to any animal as much as I do Bacci- so I know exactly how you feel, Malteses are definitely the best! Hang in there and thanks for sharing your feelings with us!*


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Hey, I'll bet my kids feel that way about me some of the time! :HistericalSmiley:
Getting old is no fun for anyone and it takes a large portion of grace to weather a day sometimes. The kindness we show to those who cannot repay us (whether human or animal) shows integrity and selflessness. Unfortunately we are all mostly human and we err often. Thank God animals forgive more easily than humans! :thumbsup:


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

edelweiss said:


> Hey, I'll bet my kids feel that way about me some of the time! :HistericalSmiley:
> Getting old is no fun for anyone and it takes a large portion of grace to weather a day sometimes. The kindness we show to those who cannot repay us (whether human or animal) shows integrity and selflessness. Unfortunately we are all mostly human and we err often. Thank God animals forgive more easily than humans! :thumbsup:


:goodpost::amen:


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

Sylie said:


> You know that 16 years ago cockers were very popular and as a result suffered some serious bad breeding issues. One of those was a tendency to bite. Their poor little brains got kind of screwed up when they were being bred by any and all. I know, because I had a cocker who was a nut case. I loved him and he loved me, but I lost a lot of friends because of my insane dog...not really, but close. So, I had my boy, he was gorgeous, devoted and problematic. Then I got a bichon. My cocker accepted him and they were best buddies, but....having a dog who was so easy, so loveable, so darn nice shed a new light on the dog who I loved, but was always a problem. I think you may be having a similar experience. I just want to warn you that when I lost the little monster, the pain was unbearable.
> 
> I suspect that you may be having a hard day, you may be feeling worn out and at your wits end. Oh wait...there is another very important element that you should consider...he is sixteen, you know that he isn't going to be with you much longer. It is human nature to put up fences. Oh, I did that with my own FATHER...I knew I would loose him soon, and in some crazy way to try to make it less painful I started to think of everything he had ever done wrong. It is human nature to try and soften up the fall. Could you be doing that?


You really have a point ! I did not think of that. But I can relate.


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## Sparkle'sMom (Feb 2, 2013)

I think we've all had those "what if" feelings...I know I did....what if I didn't have to drag myself outa bed on a Saturday at 7:30 because this is the only groomer I can take her too after a stressful work week, what if she wasn't so bloody allergic to everything, what of she wasn't so needy and jumped at me when I cam in the door, what if I could travel and not worry worry worry about her when I am gone getting depressed and not eating, on and on....I said I'd never do it again....now I can't wait to get another needy little poop machine. The issue is, you have apples and oranges and your Malt is looking real good. Let's face it nothing and no breed will ever love you as much, ever be as pretty and adorable and sweet so that's OKAY. You have lots of years ahead.  I know I'd kill to have 5 more years with my Sparkle. Just try to make him as comfy as you can. Even parents have favorite kids, so no guilt, but a cocker is a cocker and he probably doesn't have that much time left. You might even miss him. I love elderly dogs but that's me. Maybe now that you've admitted it and "outed your feelings" LOL you can move forward. Don't give up on him! He needs you too!


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## jeannief (Aug 6, 2009)

Actually, Sparkle's Mom, you are right. I have felt so much better just being able to tell someone. I have been much more patient with him just knowing others have felt the same way.


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## Yogi's Mom (Jan 6, 2013)

*Hello from pa* I Have been thinking of you, and so glad things might be better now. I Hope all is going well and you feel much better. we all have these bad times in many differant ways.You have alot of sm people that understand and care about you. I Hope in some small way that has helped you. Nickee**

*Yogi Sends TailWags to all of you**


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