# My 19 yr old daughter



## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

And we have not heard from her in 5 weeks. She has been in and out of things her whole life. She has never went to jail or anything but still things that she should not have been doing. She is Joshua's {my grandson} mom. 

She was doing so good. I was taking her back and forth to work 5-6 days a week. And was not saying a word about even though I was picking her up at 2:00 am a couple nights a week. The night before she ran off she was busted smoking weed but denied it. She was living with my oldest daughter at the time. I did not say anything really to her except ask her why she was doing drugs. When she denied it and said it was the other person smoking in the car with her and that is why she smelled of it. I just said well you do not need to be hanging out with people like that. And to please have a little respect for me that if they were going to come over after she gets off work at 2 to have them pick her up from work and let me get my rest. That was it. 

She left a note for my oldest daughter telling her she needed her space. And left. Her phone was turned off within a week. I have gone to her friends house today looking for her. Nothing. They claim they have not seen her. 

She has ran off before. But never has she stayed out of touch for this long. She has always made contact with someone either in my family or her dad's. I do not know what to do next. Whether to call the police and place a missing person's report or what. 

Guys I am scared to say the least. I am afraid something bad has happened to her and she needs my help. Or worse that I have lost another child. 

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

so sorry! My thoughts and Prayers are with you.


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## gigigirlz (Jun 18, 2007)

of course I will be praying for her .....hope you hear from her soon...hugs....


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## gatiger40 (Jun 7, 2007)

I'm so sorry you are going through this Becky. I rayer: that you hear some positive news soon.


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

Please do not hesitate to call the police. My sister did the same type of stuff for a while. Does she have any custody of her son?


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## donnad (Aug 22, 2006)

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this...I will keep you in my prayers. If it was my daughter, yes I would call the police and file a missing persons report.


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

QUOTE (JMM @ Aug 25 2008, 03:53 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=624743


> Please do not hesitate to call the police. My sister did the same type of stuff for a while. Does she have any custody of her son?[/B]


No he lives with his dad. 

Thank you all for the prayers and thoughts. This is so hard.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

call the police, you could never live with yourself if something happened to her. I'll be praying for you. How scarey


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

Hi Becky,
So sorry to hear about this...I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I will say a prayer for you and your daughter. Perhaps you should contact the police in the mean time. Best wishes to you!!!! :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

Becky I am so sorry hear this...Please call the police! That way they can be on the look out for her as well.....Hugs...


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

I have called the police and am awaiting their arrival at this time. They do not get in any hurry it seems. Thank you again everyone for the prayers. :smcry: :smcry:


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope she is okay. :grouphug:


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## jodublin (Sep 27, 2006)

hi becky ,so sorry to hear this ,,try your best to stay carm :huh: i have 4 daughters girls are like this  i know your probally so stressed at the minute and nothing helps ,do not blame your self :grouphug: jo


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Sorry Becky.

I hope she is found safe and sound.

I feel bad that you are going thru this :grouphug:


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

Becky, I will be praying for you and your daughter and that she will be found safe and sound. 

Linda


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## thinkpink (Sep 25, 2004)

I'll be praying for you. Keep us updated. :grouphug:


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

Awww Becky, the blessing that children are and the heart ache they can be, just don't seem to go together at times like this.

I certainly will say a prayer and I HOPE like all that the Police to not "blow you off" and do look for her.

:grouphug: 

Please keep us updated,
Melanie


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Oh I am so sorry!! I too was going to advise calling the police but as I read thru see that you have already done so.

Though the police will advise you I assume on this.. if it was me I think I'd make up flyers with her photo and your phone number and go place to place...especially where young people her age hang out ..and/or walk the streets and pass them out I saw on TV a Mom who did this when her young daughter had run away. Ya never know... someopne might just know where she is.
I would bet at least ONE of her friends does know 'something"... since they tend to confide in their peers.

Know the prayers are on the way.


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## Poppy's mommy (Dec 21, 2007)

*I am sorry that you are going through this and I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Hopefully she comes home soon safe, too many crazy people out there for her to be out there. Just know God is watching over her and will lead her home.Keep us updated.*


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Heartache! E-gadz, Sorry you must endure this pain. Mine is 31, busted for DUI, living with my dad. not working. She is actually a good kid but sometimes - I wish she'd take off somewhere....

Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything bad to happen to her, she just really needs to learn how to grow up!!!!!!

19 is kind of young...I'd be worried too. My heart goes out to you.


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## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. My sister was famous for this and it tore up my parents to no end. I can only image how you feel. I will keep your daughter in my prayers that she is safe and is found soon.


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## schatzi's mom (May 13, 2007)

I'm sorry  
I hope she's found soon, safe and sound :grouphug:


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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

Becky,

I sm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you daughter gets in touch soon, and is safe and well.


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## binniebee (Sep 27, 2007)

Becky, 

I am so sorry that you are going through this, but don't expect the police to take this very seriously. She is, after all, of legal age and left of her own accord. I sincerely hope that she is safe, but you cannot protect her all her adult life nor expect her to live with you her whole life.

I actually had to MAKE one of my son's move out at the age of 18 because his "lifestyle" was disrupting our whole family! I did pay the first two months' rent on a house for him and a roommate (but did NOT and would NEVER sign or co-sign for an immature, irresponsible young adult!). He and his roommate managed to get jobs and keep the house for a few months. I would not take him back in at that time (having been irresponsible once again and losing his job for staying out late partying at night and not showing up for work). Unfortunately, his grandmother (my mom) would ALWAYS take him in and it nearly ruined him with her enabling. I was pretty tough with my two boys. I had to be, because they caused a lot of trouble and their dad was pretty much out of the picture and certainly of no help when they needed it the most (between 12 and 18 years of age).

Sometimes you just have to let them go their own way when they are over 18 and not obeying your house rules. My older son ended up moving to Nashville (200 miles from us) at the age of 19 or 20. He got a job, kept it for the 7 or 8 years that he lived here, and was able to pay his rent, buy his food and still do a fair amount of partying, I feel sure. He didn't starve, die or go without clothes. We didn't "shun" him or act like there was anything he should be doing differently; I mean I didn't judge him for his choices. I only bragged on him for choices that were good for him, or that he was happy about. 

He is 30 years old now, has moved back to Nashville, has a wife and a baby of nearly 2 years and we have a very close relationship. We just don't judge each other, the way my mother always judged me and the way she still judges my sons (and me). She enables, but at the same time she throws it up in their faces if/when they behave in a way she doesn't approve. And she doesn't approve of much, I can tell you that! I try to be close with my mom, and love her dearly, but as a mother we should be cognizant of the fact that these adult kids need emotional support, but not enabling support and not judgemental support that is based upon their behavior (you do what I want and I give you what you want, etc....)

I hope your daugher is safe and is taking care of herself. And I hope that you can come to terms with her leaving, if she feels the need to leave the family home and be on her own.

*hugs*
Cyndi


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

oh i am so sorry to hear this news!! Please keep us posted


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## dr.jaimie (Mar 23, 2004)

i hope u hear news soon and everything is ok...u and ur family are in our thoughts


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

Thank you all once again for the thoughts and prayers. 

The police did what I was afraid they would do. Acted like it was nothing. Because of her being an adult and leaving on her own. They did take her name and her picture to put into the system. But as far as helping me locate her they will not be doing anything. I had a feeling they would act this way. :smcry: :smcry: 

Maybe with me going to her friends houses that I know will get them to tell her that I am looking and that I do care. I just wish she knew how much I love her and how worried I am about her. If she only knew. I pray she is not hungry, and in good health. 

Thank you all again for being here for me.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Becky at times like this all you can do is pray :sLo_grouphug3:


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## pebble's mama (Jun 1, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear this. I pray everything turns out good. My little sister did this all the time a few years ago and I know how it made me feel...it must be 100 times worse for you.


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## scoopsmommy (Jun 18, 2008)

I looked at this post several times today, and I just couldn't think of what to say...
I hope your daughter is fine and comes to realize how much you care about her.

I know that when I was a little younger than her, which wasn't that ago, I did a lot of crap that really hurt my mom. I never ran off, but I sure did plan it a few times. Now that I am a bit older we have a great relationship, because we accept that we are both from two different worlds, and two different ppl. And I really appreciate my mom now, because I know she's always been looking out for my best interest, even though it may not have seemed like it. Hopefully you two can achieve this too.

You will be in my prayers... rayer:


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## mysugarbears (Aug 13, 2007)

Oh Becky i hope that you find your daughter and that she is safe. I will keep you in my prayers. :grouphug:


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## bonniesmom (Jun 2, 2008)

I'm so sorry, Becky. I understand how upsetting this is for you and I hope she is safe, and that you at least find out where
she is... :grouphug:


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## TheButtercup (Mar 3, 2005)

Becky, my heart goes out to you. My brother did this to my folks and while they never told me details, I know it was very hard on them. I will keep you all in my thoughts and hope your daughter is safe and comes around soon. If you know of any places she's ever worked, sometimes employees even from "way back when" keep in touch or "know someone who knows someone who knows her now". This is the route my mother had to take to find my brother. 

Noselicks from a Buttercup,
xoxoxoxo,
ann marie and the buttercup
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## lovesophie (Jan 28, 2008)

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this, Becky. :bysmilie: 

My brother was like this, too, and it really affected my family and me. Thankfully now, at 25, he has cleaned himself up and is working, going back to school, and supporting himself, which is a HUGE milestone. My parents are thankful every single day.

I hope your daughter is safe, and I hope this is just a phase she is going through, as it was for my brother. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please stay strong!


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## njdrake (Apr 23, 2007)

I'm sorry to hear this and I hope you hear from your daughter soon. Kids just don't always think about what they're doing but it gets better as they get older. I was a bit of a problem child but I couldn't see it at the time. As I got over myself my mom and I got along great. It will get better. Keep us posted.


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## bentleyboy (Dec 13, 2006)

Thats awful. How worrying. One wonders why some young people's journey's take them on paths that hurt the ones that love them the most. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that she contacts you soon and gets on to sorting her life out. 
I really feel your pain and know that you must be out of your mind with worry. Surround her with light and try to think only good thoughts for her.


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm thinking of you today, Becky. What's the latest? I hope you are doing ok.


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## harrysmom (Sep 28, 2007)

Becky,

I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope that she comes home soon and that she remains safe. 
I'll be thinking about you... stay strong.

Debbie


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

Thank you all. Still no news. I guess no news is good news....................


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

Becky, I feel for you. OH goodness I do.

God bless,
Melanie


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

I'm so sorry this has happened Becky. I'll pray for your daughter and for you too. :grouphug: 







Joy


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Becky I am so sorry you are going through this worry :grouphug: I pray that your daughter at least contacts you and lets you know she is ok, that would ease your mind I am sure.
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

Don't you just want to wring their necks sometimes! I'm praying that she will be fine and will get in touch with you in some way. :grouphug:


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## jen_hedz (Mar 5, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. :grouphug: :grouphug: I noticed how you said 'no news is good news' and it brought back memories of how my brother used to do this a lot in his early 20's and that is what my mom would always say. I just don't think they realize how much parents suffer for their children sometimes. I hope that you hear from your daughter soon and that all is well.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

were here for you Becky, I'm praying for you and your daughter


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter and I hope she's ok. I'm sure she is just taking some time for herself. Her friends probably know exactly where she is and would hopefully have told you if she was in serious trouble.


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## jasmyne's mom (Dec 2, 2006)

I'm keeping you and your daughter in my prayers.


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## JTAZ (Jul 5, 2006)

Best for you and your family.


QUOTE (ClaBec Maltese @ Aug 25 2008, 02:17 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=624758


> I have called the police and am awaiting their arrival at this time. They do not get in any hurry it seems. Thank you again everyone for the prayers.  :smcry: :smcry:[/B]


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

I don't know the right words to say except I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Hopefully, she will run into someone who will get through to her that her family is important & she will come back to you soon. It is so nerve-wracking to go through this & the police not being able to help. I am sure they see so much of it, they do tend to brush it off. Doesn't help for the ones going through it & I am sure if it was one of them going through it, they would have the whole police force out looking. 

Isn't there a "Have you Seen" sight out there somewhere, where you could post her picture & just tell her you love her & just call to tell you she is safe? Seems like there should be something like that. I am going to surf & see what I can find.

My best wishes & prayers for a safe & happy return. :grouphug:


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

Becky, try this site....National Center for Missing Adults


http://www.theyaremissed.org/ncma/content.php?webid=register


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

QUOTE (Babygirlmom @ Aug 26 2008, 09:02 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=625457


> Becky, try this site....National Center for Missing Adults
> 
> 
> http://www.theyaremissed.org/ncma/content.php?webid=register[/B]


Thank you. I clicked on the link. And am going to be making the phone call for the initial interview. 

Thank you all once again. I still have not heard anything from her.


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

QUOTE (ClaBec Maltese @ Aug 26 2008, 07:34 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=625479


> QUOTE (Babygirlmom @ Aug 26 2008, 09:02 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=625457





> Becky, try this site....National Center for Missing Adults
> 
> 
> http://www.theyaremissed.org/ncma/content.php?webid=register[/B]


Thank you. I clicked on the link. And am going to be making the phone call for the initial interview. 

Thank you all once again. I still have not heard anything from her.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Good luck Becky! Hope you get results, better yet, hope she gives you a call soon!


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## puppy (Jul 23, 2008)

Becky,

I'm so very sorry to learn this. My sincere wishes for her safe return.


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

QUOTE (Puppy @ Aug 26 2008, 09:57 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=625489


> Becky,
> 
> I'm so very sorry to learn this. My sincere wishes for her safe return.[/B]


Thank you Judy. I will be contacting TheyAreMissed first thing in the morning.


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## mysugarbears (Aug 13, 2007)

Becky i'm so sorry that you haven't heard from her yet. I pray that you hear from her soon.


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## MySugarBaby (Jun 28, 2006)

Becky, I am so sorry to hear that this is happening!! You must be worried sick!! I will praying that you get some good news soon and are able to hear from your daughter soon!!


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

I have posted a bulliten on My Space. I know that if she has computer access that she will see it. She removed me from her friends list. But I still have friends in my profile that she does. So hopefully they will pass it along to her. 

I am getting more and more worried every passing minute. And not to beat a dead hourse but we have another system out there. And if it comes this way I worry that she will not be in safe shelter. OH Lord please keep praying that God is keeping her safe and from harm. Last night was another cry myself to sleep night. I just need to know that she is ok. That she is not hungry, has clothes, {she did not take but a few with her} has shelter, that she has everything that she needs. I am so scared.


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Becky... 
Have you told her friends/contacts to let her know you ONLY want to be assured she is safe..and that either she or via these friends to simply let you know that? That you are NOT going to seek her out if that is what she wants.. no lectures etc. Just that she/they simply let you know she is all right because you are so terribly worried for her well-being. As long as she's "Ok" then fine.. you'll give her her space.


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## susie and sadie (Jun 22, 2005)

Oh Becky, I am just now seeing this! I am so very sorry. I know how terribly worried you must be. I just said a prayer for her, and I will certainly continue to pray for her safe return. rayer: rayer: rayer: 

God bless you. :grouphug: 

Allison


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

QUOTE (IamMomtoMissy @ Aug 27 2008, 09:42 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=625640


> Becky...
> Have you told her friends/contacts to let her know you ONLY want to be assured she is safe..and that either she or via these friends to simply let you know that? That you are NOT going to seek her out if that is what she wants.. no lectures etc. Just that she/they simply let you know she is all right because you are so terribly worried for her well-being. As long as she's "Ok" then fine.. you'll give her her space.[/B]


Terry that is exactly what I have done. I told them all I wanted was to know that she is ok and safe. 

Now this new hurricane has taken more of a path this way. Oh I pray she is not out at the beach. I am so worried. Maybe on the good side of this storm she is afraid of them. Maybe she will come home. Maybe just maybe............


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## mysugarbears (Aug 13, 2007)

Becky, i hope you hear from her soon. Still keeping you and your daughter in my prayers. :grouphug: rayer: :grouphug:


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## bentleyboy (Dec 13, 2006)

I am thinking of you. I really pray she calls. My heart goes out to you.


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## ClaBec Maltese (Feb 19, 2007)

:smcry: :smcry: I just got off the phone with Jessi's ex{Joshua's dad.} He has spoke with her via IM. He said he will call me back with details later today that he just wanted to let me know that she seemed ok. :smcry: :smcry: Thank you all for the prayers and support. I wish she would find the kindness in her heart to call home. :smcry: :smcry: :smcry:


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## katira (Apr 21, 2008)

Becky, so glad to hear your daughter is okay. Hopefully she will give you a call soon :wub:


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## llf060787 (Nov 19, 2007)

I'm just seeing this post now and am glad to hear that you've heard news that she's ok. I have a daughter that just recently turned 20 and what you're going thru must be a complete nightmare. Just give her the space she needs and be supportive and available if she needs you. Maybe being on her own for a while is what she needs to figure out that its a scary world out there and unless she has the love of her family with her it will only get scarier. My prayes are with you that she stays safe and that she reaches out even if its just with a quick call once a week to say she's ok.


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## lynda (Oct 11, 2005)

I too am just seeing this post and I got the chills just reading it. I am glad that you have heard that she is ok and I truly hope that she contacts you soon to put your mind somewhat at ease.

I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

I'm so mad at her for putting you through all this,what's she thinking :smilie_tischkante: I'll keep praying for her safety


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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

I'm glad to hear your daughter is safe. All you can do is be there if she reaches out. Hopefully, she grow up soon. I'm still waiting for my 36 year daughter to mature.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

QUOTE (ClaBec Maltese @ Aug 27 2008, 12:18 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=625723


> :smcry: :smcry: I just got off the phone with Jessi's ex{Joshua's dad.} He has spoke with her via IM. He said he will call me back with details later today that he just wanted to let me know that she seemed ok. :smcry: :smcry: Thank you all for the prayers and support. I wish she would find the kindness in her heart to call home. :smcry: :smcry: :smcry:[/B]



I'm glad someone was able to contact her. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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