# Need advice



## maltsmom (Feb 10, 2005)

Some of you may remember that I need to take Jack for obedience training. I just got off the phone with the trainer and he wants to evaluate him on Saturday. He told me the first thing I need to do is get him out of my bed. If I am not willing to do that, I might as well not even come for the evaluation. He told me to discuss it with my husband and call him back. This is so hard, not only for him, but for me as well. Have any of you who have gotten training done this? Did your trainer tell you not to let you pups sleep with you? How did it work out? I am so lost, do I go for the training or just put up with his bad behavior cause he is my baby?


----------



## hohumbarb (Nov 4, 2006)

Hi well maybe just find another trainer even the dog whisperer says its ok to let your dog sleep on your bed as long as its your idea and not the dogs....there are several good dvds on dog training check out your library and good luck


----------



## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

That sounds like tough love to me. I would call BarkBusters. They are great. I've only had her come once, and she's been so effective, Bonnie is like a new dog. And, yes, she sleeps with me. That was non-negotiable. If you feel strongly don't back down. I wouldn't.



Look up BarkBusters. They are a positive type of training, no collars, nothing physical (of course!). I couldn't be happier. They have a website for you to browse.



Good luck whatever you decide. Don't let that trainer bully Jack out of bed, though. That's my opinion.


----------



## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Yikes! Benny is doing clicker training right now, and his trainer actually said it's good he sleeps in bed with us b/c Maltese are pack animals and like to be with their family. I thought we were going to be looked down upon for letting him sleep in bed with us, but his trainer ended up saying we were doing the right thing! 

I dont' know what kind of training you are doing....maybe there's a reason behind it? I don't know...but if you are like me....I wouldn't be able to sleep without my maltese. I look foward every night to cuddling with him...it's one of the highlights of my day! Once Benny was able to not go potty during the night...he was introduced to the bed..and now there's no turning back. 

I would stress to the trainer that having the pup in bed with you is important and see if you can work around it. But definitley get an explanation as to why he is against it. good luck


----------



## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see why it's necessary to not have him sleeping with you anymore. What is the trainers logic on that? He must have had some explanation. 

I don't see how it would interfere with other training! I'd look around for someone else...


----------



## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

I know lots of people/trainers suggest that. But I think if your dog has always been in your bed it is cruel to suddenly kick him out- he won't understand and will feel like he is being punished. I would find a different trainer.


----------



## maltsmom (Feb 10, 2005)

The trainer said that once you let a dog sleep with you, he thinks he is your equal and thats why he doesn't listen to me. He has been marking around the house, so I have him banded all the time. He growls at you just for looking at him, he barks all the time and jumps on our visitors. I guess if he was small it wouldn't seem so bad, but he is almost 20 pounds. Jill, our little one, is only 6.5 pounds and to top it off, we are getting another girl in about 6 weeks. I don't want Jack's bad behavior to rub off on her. Anyway, I am leaning toward not going but I am still trying to make up my mind.


----------



## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

That's a very hard choice to make. I think Boo would be heartbroken if he no longer was allowed to sleep with me. I would be upset too. I don't think I could do it.


----------



## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

I remember years ago talking with a trainer about my first Lhasa and some of his suggestions just didn't set well with us. It was obvious that he did not like Lhasas and thought that they were extremely stubborn (which they can be). We hired him, but the next day we changed our mind and decided to continue looking for a different trainer.

I'm glad we did. This trainer was not for us and would not have been a good trainer for our baby.

Keep looking. This one doesn't sound like he understands toy breeds.


----------



## cruisinpat (Jan 29, 2007)

I think I'd check around for another trainer. If you can't by into his "rules" (and I know I wouldn't be able to) the you have to find a trainer whose philosphy is the same as yours - just my opinion. I guess it's like finding a pediatrician who believes in letting the baby cry when you don't. Good luck.


----------



## maltsmom (Feb 10, 2005)

I looked on the barkbusters website and even though there is one about 20 miles from me, it states there is none in my area. I have been looking for trainers for 6 months and this is the only one I have found. I am so confused.


----------



## paris (Apr 8, 2005)

> The trainer said that once you let a dog sleep with you, he thinks he is your equal and thats why he doesn't listen to me. He has been marking around the house, so I have him banded all the time. He growls at you just for looking at him, he barks all the time and jumps on our visitors. I guess if he was small it wouldn't seem so bad, but he is almost 20 pounds. Jill, our little one, is only 6.5 pounds and to top it off, we are getting another girl in about 6 weeks. I don't want Jack's bad behavior to rub off on her. Anyway, I am leaning toward not going but I am still trying to make up my mind.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm no expert but I don't believe him sleeping in your bed is the cause of this. Paris sleeps in our bed and she knows that I am the alpha. I would suggest getting someone else or perhaps trying the books and/or dvds someone else has suggested. Do you think putting him in a "time out" area when he behaves like this would help?


----------



## puppymom (Jun 13, 2005)

Find another trainer, FAST!!!


----------



## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

> I looked on the barkbusters website and even though there is one about 20 miles from me, it states there is none in my area. I have been looking for trainers for 6 months and this is the only one I have found. I am so confused.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Is there not a number for that location- the one 20 minutes away?

My husband's aunt and uncle used BarkBusters for their out of control Bichon/Lhaso mix. That dog was a holy terror- and stupid (never a good combo), and it only took BarkBusters 2 visits to straighten out the issues with their dog. If I ever need any kind of behavior modifcation I would go with them. I was very impressed in the changes in the Bichon/Lhaso dog. 

Good luck!


----------



## nikkivong (Aug 25, 2006)

i can never imagine kicking otis off of my bed... i wouldn't be able to sleep. i agree with everyone else, you probably should get a new trainer. good luck with jack!


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

As much as I LOVE K & C and LOVE having them sleep with me, if either of them growled at me, I would not let him/her sleep with me until the problem was rectified. Them growling at me would mean they have forgotten I was alpha and one way to remind them would be to not let them sleep on the bed with me.

Having them sleep with us is wonderful but when the lines are blurred regarding who is alpha then steps need be taken, especially if Jack is growling at you. 

I so agree with Cesar Millan that being alpha is so much about our attitude when around our dogs. They need to look to us for guidance, etc. Growling is just not something that you can tolerate as it can escalate to biting. That is the behavior you have described that bothers me the most. Jumping on guests, while annoying, is at least not growling and biting. 

I would talk more with the trainer and ask if he has worked with small dogs and what is philosophy is, etc.


----------



## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

I would get a 2nd opinion/trainer. If you don't feel comfortable with him I don't see it as a good sign.


----------



## maltsmom (Feb 10, 2005)

I called the trainer and told him my husband and I were not prepared to follow his rules. As far as Jack growliing at me, he has never bitten, and all the while he is growling, he makes funny noises with his mouth and tongue, almost like he is talking. He also gives me kisses while he is growling. I just can't figure out what the problem is. I am still waiting to hear from another trainer.


----------



## babeesmiles (Jun 18, 2006)

> That sounds like tough love to me. I would call BarkBusters. They are great. I've only had her come once, and she's been so effective, Bonnie is like a new dog. And, yes, she sleeps with me. That was non-negotiable. If you feel strongly don't back down. I wouldn't.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What exactly did barkbusters teach you? I was on the phone with them a couple weeks ago and was planning to do it, but I don't know if it would work or not since it is only for 1 day. What exactly did they teach your dog in one day?


----------



## CloudClan (Jan 31, 2007)

> Some of you may remember that I need to take Jack for obedience training. I just got off the phone with the trainer and he wants to evaluate him on Saturday. He told me the first thing I need to do is get him out of my bed. If I am not willing to do that, I might as well not even come for the evaluation. He told me to discuss it with my husband and call him back. This is so hard, not only for him, but for me as well. Have any of you who have gotten training done this? Did your trainer tell you not to let you pups sleep with you? How did it work out? I am so lost, do I go for the training or just put up with his bad behavior cause he is my baby?
> 
> 
> 
> ...





> I called the trainer and told him my husband and I were not prepared to follow his rules. As far as Jack growliing at me, he has never bitten, and all the while he is growling, he makes funny noises with his mouth and tongue, almost like he is talking. He also gives me kisses while he is growling. I just can't figure out what the problem is. I am still waiting to hear from another trainer.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I know I am late to this reply (as this was posted a month ago and I just read this thread tonight), but I am so glad that you called the trainer back and said no to his rules.









I am familiar with the theory that you are not supposed to let the dogs sleep with you because it means they are your equal and can interfere with the alpha relationship. I have read some otherwise wonderful books that suggest this. However, I have also read books by great trainers who say that bit of advice is a load of crapola, especially when it comes to small dogs who have been bred for centuries to sleep close to their masters. 

This trainer may be very well-intended, but anytime a trainer tells you that you have to follow his training philosophy or else, he not giving you a chance to decide what works best for your dog. Your dog is your responsibility. A good instructor should teach you how to train your own dog. You become your dogs actual trainer. That means that the decisions are ultimately up to you. They educate you on their philosophy and help you through issues, but they should not dictate which ones you choose to follow. 

Now, I hate the idea of not letting my babies in the bed (more for me than for them), however, we did have to decide that Caly couldn't sleep in the bed anymore. My Caly was severely abused. She is a very nervous dog and in bed whenever we would roll over, or one of the other dogs moved, she would have a startle reaction and growl (even biting through the blanket). After one of these biting incidents we realized we had let this go on too long. She was given a special bed on the floor nearby the bed and she is generally happier there. No one disturbs her. I miss sleeping with her more than she does with us.


----------

