# No dogs, no children



## a2z (Aug 23, 2004)

I was invited to my grandson's wedding in March. However, they specify no dogs and also no children except from the immediate family. They have been living together for a long time and have 2 children ages 6 and 3, so they have to make an exception for the family. As far as I'm concerned this wedding is sort of an afterthought, not all that exciting or necessary.

Zoey has NEVER been told she is not invited anywhere. And she's never been left home alone, EVER. She goes in her bag everywhere with me. And she's still and quiet in her bag. We both have seperation anxiety, I think!

I have decided not to go to the wedding. I can't think of any solution except to stay home. I feel sort of guilty but mostly angry and offended...

(Just needed to vent. Thanks)


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

First of all , Zoey is absolutely beautiful, she almost looks human to me! and that's such a nice pic of both of you. Well they must know how well behaved Zoey is (or they can ask other family/his parents) , so are they trying to exclude other dogs? if so, you'd think they would say to you that your dog is welcome and bec she is so small and well behaved and if anyone else is offended you'd expect their answer to them would be 'grandmothers get special treatment'. Maybe they are not thinking at all about what that means to you and if they did know why you aren't attending they might realize that they made a mistake and would like you to attend with Zoey but i'm not sure if you should just talk to them or not, it might clear the air and you may not miss out on the happy event.

In any case I don't blame you for being offended. 

I have been told that my dog is not welcome at my nephews too ( I wanted to spend a weekend and drive there to visit with my sister, his mother) so I guess I won't be visiting them and this was because they knew that their dog (toy poodle) did not like my dog. They thought this because they brought their dog Sugar to stay at my place overnight once (without asking me) they asked my sister who said she didn't think I would mind. I dont' know why they didn't ask me directly and there were no major problems, the dogs weren't friends but there was no fighting either. I guess they knew that Sugar was not happy....forgot to add, they said they were in a bind for a dogsitter so they had to bring her.


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

Have you tried talking to your Grandson? Since he is making exceptions for children of the family, perhaps he could see fit to make an exception for the dog in the family. Give it a try. I would hate to see you miss a special day like that!


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

I would risk it and ask if she can go because of how you are never apart. If he would say no to his Grandmother............then, do what you think is right! I understand how you feel. Listen, there are always exceptions to every rule!!!! Keep us informed.............and good luck!!!


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

Does your grand'son know how much Zoe means to you ? And that she was never left alone and goes everywhere with you ? Do you have to travel to go to the wedding ? Do you have to stay overnight ? I would talk to him and see if he can make an exception. If not, wish them well, send them a nice gift and say you are sorry but you cannot attend. If you don't have to stay overnight and it is just a day event, go to the ceremony only and then leave. You can leave Zoe by herself for a couple of hours.


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## HEINI (Feb 4, 2007)

i can understand how you feel and I think I would decide the same way.

I would never have fun at such an event, if I knew my sweetheart is not welcome. 

I know that most probably they just want to set up the rules, No children, No dogs, same rule for everyone!
so whatever small or well behaved dog someone has, he is thrown into the same pot as a a dag who may is loud and can't behave.

I took heini to events, where usually you would not take him, into church or to the cemetary burying my other grandma. I felt it was right and appropriate. also I asked if it was ok, and got a positive answer.

you have to respect their rules, ...
BUT then they need to respect your cancellation too.

maybe if you talk and ask, you will be able to take you furkid.
I wish you all the luck, I think everyone of the guests will be happy to meet you and sweet little zoe too!

good luck and all the best
schnupp


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

QUOTE (CeeCee's Mom @ Feb 20 2010, 01:06 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888169


> I would risk it and ask if she can go because of how you are never apart. If he would say no to his Grandmother............then, do what you think is right! I understand how you feel. Listen, there are always exceptions to every rule!!!! Keep us informed.............and good luck!!![/B]


Absolutely agree.

I don't take any more offense to my dogs not being invited somewhere than I do my kids. It's THEIR day and their business to plan it however they'd like. But that's just my opinion, for what it's worth.

I hope you'll ask for an exception.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Sorry but I wouldn't go either. Kinda like that story about the 2 gates,basically if the dog wasn't allowed,I wouldn't go in either.. my dogs are my family...oh and the guy I've been married to for 26 years too ,can't forget him....

Besides,if they've been living together a long time, long enought to have 2 kids ages 6 and 3...so what's the point of a wedding? 
Just get a marriage license and do a civil ceremony and save the money for something inportant... like future retirement.... 

No kids,no pets sounds like they're having a big ceremony. 
Weddings ,I thought we to symbolize a fresh new start out together,what's fresh and new if they're already living together and have kids? Sorry but at that point the only thing fresh and new is new gifts and monogrammed bath towels....

Gee tell them it's their loss since Zoe was the one picking out their wedding gift....and it would have been a fabulous gift! :smrofl: 
Send them a card and best wishes,you already know you'll be hit up for X mas presents in the future any way... ,you have 10 months to start saving...sorry to sound grumpy but my step son pulled the "lets have a big wedding,even though we lived together for years and have kids,so now we can get gifts deal"...only they were happy to have kids and dogs come...


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## MaryH (Mar 7, 2006)

Please don't hang me for saying this, but ...

What is the dog not welcome to attend? The wedding service? The reception? The hotel if it's an out of town wedding requiring an overnight stay?

If I was invited to a wedding out of town that required an overnight stay but to which the dog was specifically not invited and I did not want to leave my dog at home then I'd find a hotel that accepted pets and I'd also look around for a doggie day care, vet, or boarding kennel that would accept my dog for the day while I attended the wedding service and perhaps the reception. If it was an evening wedding and I could not find adequate arrangements for my dog I'd either leave the dog penned or crated in the hotel room while I attended the wedding service or I'd decline the invitation and send best wishes and a gift. But I would not be asking to bring my dog to the wedding service or the reception. Depending on where the wedding service is held, there may be a state law prohibiting the dog from attending; same for the reception. In most states, dogs are prohibited by law from being in places that serve food.

Personally, if I were planning my wedding and my grandmother would only be able to attend if she could bring her dog, then I would be planning a summer wedding and outdoor catered/tented reception at my home where I could also accommodate dogs whose owners were traveling from out of town.

MaryH


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## Orla (Jul 5, 2009)

I understand where you are coming from but I can also see where your grandson is coming from.
I know this might not be very popular here but if I ever get married I wouldn't like dogs being at my wedding - maybe my own but that would be it.

Maybe its because we're very different here in Ireland - a dog at a wedding would be crazy - everyone would laugh! Its just unheard of. 
Its probably culture differences but thats my opinion.
Also, dogs usually aren't allowed in most places here.

Are dogs often at weddings and such events in the states? :huh:


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

The wedding, itself, is rather quick (all I've attended, anyway) maybe 30-minutes.

Receptions focus on a total celebration. Very social, and not so focused. Heck, you have DJ's, dancing, food, and fun.
If possible, and if the location allows, then see if you can take precious Zoey to the reception. 

I've attended many family events, which did not allow children, and to be honest, I was glad, as we had a few kids, in our family,
which left you wanting to put a gun to your head. Yep, just kill me now, I would say. :HistericalSmiley: I would always leave early, as the kids drove me nuts.

Gosh, I hope you can work this out. I know how you feel with leaving sweet Zoey. She is a doll baby, and a good girl. :grouphug:


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)

Try not to be upset. Weddings are so stressful and trying to accommodate everyone never works so some rules just have to be enforced. 

With that said, I am SURE they didn't have Zoey in mind when they made the no dog rule. Maybe a friend mentioned bringing their dog and that is why they made the restriction. Could you imagine a huge, shedding dog rubbing up against the bride's dress? Maybe that is their concern.

If this is an out of town wedding, can you bring Zoey and maybe leave her in the hotel room during the reception? Can you talk to your grandson and maybe he will make an exception for Zoey? If it is a local wedding, can you hire a pet sitter? 

Just some ideas and thoughts. In any event, don't take it personally. We all KNOW it wasn't meant for Zoey! :grouphug:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Sorry, I don't know what the answer is, but I hope it all turns out alright. Does your grandson know what's going on...and the dilemma you're going through with this? Is the wedding being held in someone's home? I'm thinking I don't know enough details to come up with an opinion.

But I do know I couldn't leave Ava anywhere while I went away - at least not while she's in full coat, so if it were me, I wouldn't be going.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

QUOTE (MaryH @ Feb 20 2010, 12:19 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888198


> Please don't hang me for saying this, but ...
> 
> What is the dog not welcome to attend? The wedding service? The reception? The hotel if it's an out of town wedding requiring an overnight stay?
> 
> ...


Mary not all the places are the same. Where my daughter had her wedding they would have accepted the dogs. We did not take them (she her shi tzu and I, Alex), left them at home because there was no way we could have paid attention to them at the wedding ceremony and reception. It was a lot less stressful for the dogs and us to leave them at home. They were fine together.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

QUOTE (3Maltmom @ Feb 20 2010, 01:42 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888214


> The wedding, itself, is rather quick (all I've attended, anyway) maybe 30-minutes.
> 
> Receptions focus on a total celebration. Very social, and not so focused. Heck, you have DJ's, dancing, food, and fun.
> If possible, and if the location allows, then see if you can take precious Zoey to the reception.
> ...


 :HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley: Some weddings I have attended, the wedding in itself not even took 30 minutes. It was a big joke between us french people when we first came to the United States. A church wedding in France takes at least an hour. The first wedding we were invited to in Houston we did not make it. They were coming out of the church when we pulled in the parking lot. Oh we left home in plenty of time to be there ontime, the only problem was we did not really know downtown Houston and turned around and around to find an exit to it. We still laugh about it today. 
As for the children, I would rather have a dog than some children at a wedding. So I understand you perfectly.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

QUOTE (michellerobison @ Feb 20 2010, 11:45 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888182


> Sorry but I wouldn't go either. Kinda like that story about the 2 gates,basically if the dog wasn't allowed,I wouldn't go in either.. my dogs are my family...oh and the guy I've been married to for 26 years too ,can't forget him....
> 
> *Besides,if they've been living together a long time, long enought to have 2 kids ages 6 and 3...so what's the point of a wedding?
> Just get a marriage license and do a civil ceremony and save the money for something inportant... like future retirement.... *
> ...


I agree. My daughter and her husband lived together too for a few years before getting married. *BUT* the children came ONLY after they were married. If it would have been up to my daughter it would have just been a quick wedding without all the hoopla. But it was the first marriage for her husband and so went all the way. They paid for it. We paid for her first marriage who ended in divorce. Thankgoodness there were no children from that marriage.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

I strongly suggest you do not turn this into a family nightmare. For those, out of the country, I have never had an invite for my dogs,
nor would I, expect an invitation excluding them, as that would not cross my mind to bring a dog to a wedding. However, I do believe
an exception should be made, for Grandma, and her well behaved doggie. Why not? Hey, it's Grandma.

Once again, best wishes.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I can understand no dogs at the ceremony ....a bride in white upstaged by a dog in white I guess.. I can understand at the reception too,if public health codes are an issue. Hopefully he just meant the ceremony ,not he reception...Maybe he's worried it'll be a doggie free for all at the reception....

I've been to weddings where a pet might be included in the ceremony,I've seen where people have had pets at the receptions.
Are they worried you'll bring her to the wedding? Are you staying w/ relatives that don't like dogs?


Like I said,send them a nice card wishing them happiness,from you and Zoe.


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## mfa (Oct 5, 2009)

i could understand them having an issue if you had a Great Dane running around.
instead you have a sweet precious baby that is well behaved, stays in your arms,
and that you NEVER leave alone. they should make an exception for you,
no matter where the event is held, otherwise i would not bother going either.


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## Malt Lover (Feb 17, 2005)

I'm going to give my opinion and it never is the popular one, but maybe you can see it from my perspective. And please know that I mean this with all due respect, I am speaking from my heart.

I have no family and there isn't nothing I wouldn't give to have some, so I think letting a dog come between you and your grandson is unthinkable. 

I love Ralphie with my whole heart, but I can part with him for a few days, when I know he is in good hands, to do something. 

I don't understand how some of you can say you wouldn't go somewhere because the dog's hair needs to be combed. To me, it seems like you aren't living life fully. I would just cut the dog's hair.

That's just my opinion and please don't think I love Ralphie any less, but sometimes I have to do what is best for me so I can be a good mommy and if that means taking a few days for myself without him, then I do it knowing it is in both our bests interest.

I wish you the best, in whatever you decide to do, I know it will be a difficult decision.


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## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

All I know is, I would do anything for my Grandmother, whom I called Nana. Anything in the world!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

QUOTE (KAG @ Feb 20 2010, 08:37 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888307


> All I know is, I would do anything for my Grandmother, whom I called Nana. Anything in the world!!!
> xoxoxoxoxoxo[/B]


Me too. It would go without saying. Yep, Grandma IS always the exception to every rule ~ :tender: :dancing banana:


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

QUOTE (Malt Lover @ Feb 20 2010, 07:24 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888299


> I'm going to give my opinion and it never is the popular one, but maybe you can see it from my perspective. And please know that I mean this with all due respect, I am speaking from my heart.
> *
> I have no family and there isn't nothing I wouldn't give to have some, so I think letting a dog come between you and your grandson is unthinkable. *
> 
> ...



:goodpost: 

I am sorry you feel offended OP. I think you should call your grandson and let him know your concerns. Communication is important. If my grandmother voiced such concerns I would try my best to accommodate her.  It is an important event and I think it would be a shame for you to miss it. Wishing you the best!!


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## Hunter's Mom (Dec 8, 2008)

This is your grandson's wedding and I think his wishes need to be valued. I specifically indicated that my wedding and receptions was "adults only" as I did not want children at the wedding nor the reception for a variety of reasons. However, this did not deter friends and some family from calling and asking if their "well behaved" children could attend. It was rather upsetting that I went through the time to send out invitations that made it clear what type of wedding I was having and then having to answer this question.

If your grandson said no dogs, I think you have to respect that. This is his day (and his brides) and, unlike others, I don't think they forgot that you had a dog - they simply want no dogs at the celebration. Since you have a little while until the celebration you can start preparing both yourself and your little one for some time apart with simply training exercises. Or, you could bring your little one with you and get a hotel near by that allows pets and arrange for a pet sitter.

My husband and I did this. Our dog is rarely apart from my husband. For my brothers wedding both my husband and I were in the party and did not want to bring Hunter and stress out everyone else at the wedding or take any attention away from the real reason we were all gathered - the celebration of the marriage of my brother (our little ones draw attention no matter how quite and sweet they are). We had my mother-in-law come with us and stay with Hunter in our hotel room. He and my husband were apart for 5 hours -and everything went fine.

I'm not encouraging you not to ask, I'm simply playing devil's advocate and reminding you that the day belongs to another and perhaps their intentions behind a specific invitation should be considered.


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

IMO. If your grandson, (who is already living as if he is married,) really wants you at his wedding, (which is really only a formality) I feel that he should honor you as an elder of his family and try to accommodate you just like he is accommodating his own kids. Perhaps together you could figure out a way?


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

When Al and I got married,it was my first and it was Al's second. He had a big wedding the first time,so he didn't want a real big deal the second time. He asked me if I wanted a big wedding,I said,for me just a nice little cermony w/ a few friends and family is all I want. Couldn't see spending loads of money on a wedding and pictures and so on,only to have the photo album gather dust after a couple months.
We never lived together before marrying but watching friends spend so much on a wedding and many not making it to their 1 st anniversary made us rethink priorities.
If we had it to do all over again,we'd have had it at a park and dress comfortable and have people bring their dogs,have a quick ceremony and a big ,long cook out! 
We did buy a puppy 2 weeks before we got married (that was out of of wedlock child),so we got married for the puppy :innocent: 
Weddings are supposed to be memorable,most people remember how they want it over and get to the fun of the reception...... :sHa_banana: :dancing banana:


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

I have an idea. You are not far from me, just down the road. I could certainly watch your baby, while you attend the wedding.

Yep, if the others (LBB) get on her nerves, then the two of us will hang out upstairs. If it's a "few day trip", same would apply.

I do this all day long, and love it. Your baby would be fine with me, and you could attend your grandson's wedding, without worrying. :thmbup: 

Let me know, as I'm here for you both. I really want you to attend the wedding. And yep, I would expect my cell phone to ring off the hook,
with Grandma calling every 2-minutes. Once again, I'm used to it. And we could also keep up on SM, as I'm sure all would be involved with you.

Give it some thought.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

QUOTE


> We did buy a puppy 2 weeks before we got married (that was out of of wedlock child),so we got married for the puppy[/B]


 :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl:


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## myfairlacy (Dec 28, 2007)

QUOTE (3Maltmom @ Feb 20 2010, 05:08 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888274


> I strongly suggest you do not turn this into a family nightmare. For those, out of the country, I have never had an invite for my dogs,
> nor would I, expect an invitation excluding them, as that would not cross my mind to bring a dog to a wedding. However, I do believe
> an exception should be made, for Grandma, and her well behaved doggie. Why not? Hey, it's Grandma.
> 
> Once again, best wishes.[/B]


This is my thought too. I would never have thought to take my dog to a wedding ceremony or reception and it surprises me that invitations would evn have to specify "no dogs". There are just certain events and places that I wouldn't ever try to take my dog" church, wedding, funeral... 

IDK..is there more to the story? Do they mean only no dogs at the ceremony and reception, or were you supposed to stay with them and they don't want you to bring your dog to their house? If your dog is only unwelcome at the wedding ceremony and reception, then why not just get a dog-friendly hotel and leave her at the hotel while you attend the wedding? I take my dogs with me when I travel too and if they weren't welcome to go with me, then I probably wouldn't go. For example...my sister is getting married in October. I'll be staying with my parents and my dogs will be going with me. However, I would never think to bring them to the actual wedding ceremony and reception.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

QUOTE (MalteseJane @ Feb 20 2010, 09:32 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888342


> QUOTE





> We did buy a puppy 2 weeks before we got married (that was out of of wedlock child),*so we got married for the puppy*[/B]


 :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl: 
[/B][/QUOTE]


Yes, that was hilarious!! :HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley: 

One more thought. If the wedding is local, and within my schedule, I could come to your house for the day!!

Sure, I could watch TV, bring a couple movies, and eat you out of house, and home. All the while, staying with your baby. :wub: 

We do have options here. So let's check them out.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

If he's saying no dogs or kids at ceremony,I'd still go ,check into a nice dog friendly hotel,close by,and leave Zoe at a nice dog friendly hotel for a couple hours w/ loads of toys,try to enjoy some guilt free reception food,sneak a tiny bit of cake for Zoe,just a tiny bite though.

If he's saying no dogs or kids at all,no matter what,well ,I'd send a card. I can understand no dogs at the ceremony,some people are afraid of dogs ....for me,it's the kids who scare me... :biggrin:


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I forgot,we left our puppy at the house while at the wedding,we had a hour between the wedding and the reception so we did what any newly married couple would do.... :hump: we went to let the puppy out! Perverts,I know what you were thinking.... :smrofl: 
When we went to the reception ,we had to leave the puppy at home again. After the reception we went to see Return of the Jedi in our wedding garb,needless to say we got in free and got free popcorn and pepsi... do we know how to party or what? :rockon: 

The puppy did get to go on the honeymoon, so that made up for not going to the wedding and reception.. That was back in the day when it was hard to find dog friendly hotels so we snuck him in the room. :innocent:


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

QUOTE (Hunter's Mom @ Feb 20 2010, 08:32 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888324


> This is your grandson's wedding and I think his wishes need to be valued. I specifically indicated that my wedding and receptions was "adults only" as I did not want children at the wedding nor the reception for a variety of reasons. However, this did not deter friends and some family from calling and asking if their "well behaved" children could attend. It was rather upsetting that I went through the time to send out invitations that made it clear what type of wedding I was having and then having to answer this question.
> 
> If your grandson said no dogs, I think you have to respect that. This is his day (and his brides) and, unlike others, I don't think they forgot that you had a dog - they simply want no dogs at the celebration. Since you have a little while until the celebration you can start preparing both yourself and your little one for some time apart with simply training exercises. Or, you could bring your little one with you and get a hotel near by that allows pets and arrange for a pet sitter.
> 
> ...


 :goodpost: At my wedding I also specifically said "No children" didn't even think of no pets because they wouldn't have been allowed at the catering venue. I felt like everyone should just have fun, not think of any of their responsibilities and I could enjoy my wedding without worrying about the kids being entertained. I can't tell you how many parents came up to me to thank me for a mini-vacation that night --to just have a good time, dance and drink.
If I were you I'd take Deb up in a heartbeat. In fact I'm not going to a wedding and I live on the East Coast but I'm ready to drop Tyler off first flight out. :chili: I do work and I am going to have to travel extensively for work this whole month. I can't take Tyler with me but I've found a cadre of people who are anxious to spend some time with him if my husband is away for work as well. We'll just make it happen. I don't think this is worth severing a relationship with your grandson...they are probably thinking like I did. I would have given anything to have my grandmother at my wedding but she died 10 years before. Don't deny them having you there. JMHO. :grouphug:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Several years ago, when my mother and Step Dad got married - they indicated "no children" - mostly because they were older and the number of children would have been too many as the wedding was held in their small house and the reception at a local restaurant. And let me tell you my mom's side of the family has tons of kids!!!! :w00t: Well someone on Bert's side of the family not only brought two busy loud toddlers, they also brought their dog and then proceeded to feed him using my mom's good china. Needless to say that didn't go over so well... :blink: ....it actually ruined the entire day for her - and his side of the family never spoke with them again. 

Not sure where I'm going with this....I just happened to think of it. :blush:


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## puppymom (Jun 13, 2005)

My opinion will not be popular but as a Mother, Grandmother and Dog lover I feel the need to express it. 

ALthough to us our dogs are the most important thing in the world there is an entire population out there that doesn't "get it". As much as I love my critters I cannot imagine putting them before my children or grandchildren. I understand that you love your pup but do your really hold your pup in a place of greater importance then your family? 

No wedding is an "after thougth" every wedding is important and special. This wedding may be even more special than most because after years together they have decided to take a HUGE step and get married. They are entitled to have the wedding they want and if that means no dogs or children that is their choice and you should respect it. 

It is you choice whether to go or not but how sand to miss such a special event, Your dog will be fine if you hire a house sitter or leave her with a trusted friend.


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## mfa (Oct 5, 2009)

QUOTE (Nikki's Mom @ Feb 20 2010, 08:40 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888325


> IMO. If your grandson, (who is already living as if he is married,) really wants you at his wedding, (which is really only a formality) I feel that he should honor you as an elder of his family and try to accommodate you just like he is accommodating his own kids. Perhaps together you could figure out a way?[/B]



very :goodpost: 

i can understand why you felt offended and also why you never leave Zoe!!! 
what a little doll baby!!! :wub: :wub: :wub:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

I have read all of the feedback on this thread and you have been given so much to think about.

First of all, this is your grandson. If you are close to him, then I would take his feelings into consideration first. Even though they have been living together and not married ... they still have children together ... and, with that, as long as your grandson and future wife love one another ... I think it's great that they are getting married. I'm thinking of the children, too.

As far as children and dogs not being invited to the wedding ... I would not take that personally. Your Zoe is very sweet and quiet when in public ... but, unfortunatley, not all dogs are quiet. There are other issues in regard to beloved dogs that may cause distractions for the wedding party and their guests. 

I love children ... but, there are children who are very well behaved ... and, those who are not. Sometimes there are children with certain disabilities that is not their fault if they melt down without warning. 

So many weddings are video taped. Can you imagine hearing a screaming or whining child/ or children during a wedding ceremony? Add to that a barking dog. And, if there is more than one dog there ... holy moly ... it could become a barkfest!!! Thus, drowning out sounds of the wedding ceremony of the bride and groom. 

I love my Snowball with all my heart. But, I also love and cherish my granddaughter. And, her wedding is going to be her special day, when she is old enough, and if she decides to marry. 

I think if you love your grandson ... you should try and make arrangements for Zoey and go to his wedding. And, maybe you can ask him, that if she stays in her bag, and is quiet .. if an exception could be made for Zoey. Either way, if it were me, I would make an effort to attend the wedding.


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## a2z (Aug 23, 2004)

I've already talked to my grandson, asking him why Zoey couldn't go in her bag. He shrugged his shoulders. And I told him I couldn't go then and he didn't answer. So it's pretty much a done deal.



Weddings belong to the bride and I'm sure these are her decisions and he can't go against that.



Thanks, Deb. I so appreciate your offer. If something changes, I might take you up on it.



p.s. Zoey does lots of 'illegal' things: goes to my tap class & rests in her bag for 2 hours every week. I think she enjoys the music and maybe the vibration of the floor. Who knows? And she's been everywhere: hospitals, restaurants (in her bag on the floor under tha table-don't start!), theaters, aerobics, malls, dog shows, etc. But mostly she sleeps on the couch...



Thanks for your advice and understanding,
Ann and Zoey


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## maltlovereileen (Jan 19, 2009)

QUOTE (a2z @ Feb 21 2010, 01:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888482


> p.s. Zoey does lots of 'illegal' things: goes to my tap class & rests in her bag for 2 hours every week. I think she enjoys the music and maybe the vibration of the floor. Who knows? And she's been everywhere: hospitals, restaurants (in her bag on the floor under tha table-don't start!), theaters, aerobics, malls, dog shows, etc. But mostly she sleeps on the couch...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Our dogs also do lots of illegal things...but I would never consider bringing them to a church. Restaurants, movies, etc are open season - I figure if somehow I get discovered and thrown out, so be it. But church doesn't have that ring of 'casual whateverness' that some other dog unfriendly places do. They do blessings of the animals at my church, but it is outside. I just think in such close quarters, sitting on the pews with strangers on either side, it could be too much of a distraction (should your bag wiggle or whatever) in a place that is supposed to be for focusing on those things respectful. Just my 2cents.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (MaltLoverEileen @ Feb 21 2010, 01:53 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888486


> QUOTE (a2z @ Feb 21 2010, 01:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888482





> p.s. Zoey does lots of 'illegal' things: goes to my tap class & rests in her bag for 2 hours every week. I think she enjoys the music and maybe the vibration of the floor. Who knows? And she's been everywhere: hospitals, restaurants (in her bag on the floor under tha table-don't start!), theaters, aerobics, malls, dog shows, etc. But mostly she sleeps on the couch...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Our dogs also do lots of illegal things...but I would never consider bringing them to a church. Restaurants, movies, etc are open season - I figure if somehow I get discovered and thrown out, so be it. But church doesn't have that ring of 'casual whateverness' that some other dog unfriendly places do. They do blessings of the animals at my church, but it is outside. I just think in such close quarters, sitting on the pews with strangers on either side, it could be too much of a distraction (should your bag wiggle or whatever) in a place that is supposed to be for focusing on those things respectful. Just my 2cents.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Oh, dear ... I would be out of there!!! The first thing that came to my mind wiggling in a bag ... would be a baby boa! :HistericalSmiley:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (3Maltmom @ Feb 20 2010, 09:29 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888340


> I have an idea. You are not far from me, just down the road. I could certainly watch your baby, while you attend the wedding.
> 
> Yep, if the others (LBB) get on her nerves, then the two of us will hang out upstairs. If it's a "few day trip", same would apply.
> 
> ...


You are sooooo sweet, Deb!!!

You have no idea how many times I have wished that you lived near us. Although Snowball has separation anxiety issues ... I would trust Snowball to be in your care 100% and more. 

I think Zoey's Mom should take you up on your offer.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (michellerobison @ Feb 20 2010, 10:47 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888368


> If he's saying no dogs or kids at ceremony,I'd still go ,check into a nice dog friendly hotel,close by,and leave Zoe at a nice dog friendly hotel for a couple hours w/ loads of toys,try to enjoy some guilt free reception food,sneak a tiny bit of cake for Zoe,just a tiny bite though.
> 
> If he's saying no dogs or kids at all,no matter what,well ,I'd send a card. I can understand no dogs at the ceremony,some people are afraid of dogs ....for me,it's the kids who scare me... :biggrin:[/B]


If Zoey has never been left alone ... I would never leave her alone in a hotel or anywhere else. What if she panicked and started barking ... or worse?

Unfortunately, my pictures are not coming up ... or, I'd share the pictures ( one of the pictures is on another SM thread) ... as to what happened to Snowball when we took the advice of trainers to leave him in his crate and go out for an hour and leave him alone. The results were heartbreaking.


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## myfairlacy (Dec 28, 2007)

I don't mean this to be rude, but I just can't imagine not ever being able to leave my dog alone..even for just a couple hours here and there. Even when people have real children, there are times you must be able to leave them. It's just really not practical to expect to be able to take a dog with you everywhere, all the time. I love my dogs like they were my children...they mean way more to me than most people, and believe me...I take them plenty of places and on plenty of trips as well. But I have to be able to leave them at home sometimes...when I go out to eat, when I go to the movies, when I go to work, etc. There are just certain places I just don't think dogs (or children) belong... I would never miss out on a close family member or friend's wedding because my dog wasn't allowed (as I said I'd never think to take m dog)...I'd be fine leaving them at home or in a hotel for a couple hours while I attended the ceremony and some of the reception. I spend a lot of time with my dogs but I think it's good to be able to be away from them occassionally to do other things. I really hope you can work something out so that you don't miss your grandson's special day


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## bellasmummy (Apr 8, 2009)

awww pooe zoe, id be quite annoyed too! Ive not been to that many wedding (or not close enough family) where my girls or as it was just bella at the time would have been coming or invited to come but if it was close family like that i be really upset if they couldnt come...saying that ive never actually seen a dog at a wedding but to me the malts are all kids


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## mfa (Oct 5, 2009)

QUOTE (Snowball Pie's Mommi @ Feb 21 2010, 03:57 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888504


> QUOTE (michellerobison @ Feb 20 2010, 10:47 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888368





> If he's saying no dogs or kids at ceremony,I'd still go ,check into a nice dog friendly hotel,close by,and leave Zoe at a nice dog friendly hotel for a couple hours w/ loads of toys,try to enjoy some guilt free reception food,sneak a tiny bit of cake for Zoe,just a tiny bite though.
> 
> If he's saying no dogs or kids at all,no matter what,well ,I'd send a card. I can understand no dogs at the ceremony,some people are afraid of dogs ....for me,it's the kids who scare me... :biggrin:[/B]


If Zoey has never been left alone ... I would never leave her alone in a hotel or anywhere else. What if she panicked and started barking ... or worse?

Unfortunately, my pictures are not coming up ... or, I'd share the pictures ( one of the pictures is on another SM thread) ... as to what happened to Snowball when we took the advice of trainers to leave him in his crate and go out for an hour and leave him alone. The results were heartbreaking.
[/B][/QUOTE]


:goodpost: 

oh no, Marie, poor little Snowball!!! is he doing any better with SA? :bysmilie: 


Ann, i think your grandson will eventually regret not working with you,
you are family, his grandmother, their loss for sure!

btw, i also take Pearlan to restaurants, except she stays on my lap!!! :heart:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (MyFairLacy @ Feb 21 2010, 04:34 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888559


> I don't mean this to be rude, but I just can't imagine not ever being able to leave my dog alone..even for just a couple hours here and there. Even when people have real children, there are times you must be able to leave them. It's just really not practical to expect to be able to take a dog with you everywhere, all the time. I love my dogs like they were my children...they mean way more to me than most people, and believe me...I take them plenty of places and on plenty of trips as well. But I have to be able to leave them at home sometimes...when I go out to eat, when I go to the movies, when I go to work, etc. There are just certain places I just don't think dogs (or children) belong... I would never miss out on a close family member or friend's wedding because my dog wasn't allowed (as I said I'd never think to take m dog)...I'd be fine leaving them at home or in a hotel for a couple hours while I attended the ceremony and some of the reception. I spend a lot of time with my dogs but I think it's good to be able to be away from them occassionally to do other things. I really hope you can work something out so that you don't miss your grandson's special day[/B]


I don't think you mean to be rude either. 

And, I don't know if Zoey suffers from true separation anxiety. However, for some dogs who do have severe separation anxiety ... they simply cannot be left alone. 

I shared the story a couple of times on SM before ... about our personal experience (with the pictures) of what happened to Snowball when we did exactly what a well known dog training school advised us to do ... leave him alone in his crate for an hour. After that very sad and traumatic experience of what happened to Snowball, and upon the advice of our vet ... we had a well known vet behaviorist spend over six and a half hours (in one session) observing Snowball in our home. Yes, she observed and examined him for that long. She also sent to us and our vet a seven page report on the details. She noted specifically that Snowball will always be a special needs dog. She also explained that there are dogs who severely injure or even have killed themselves ... from the panic of being alone. Even a lab broke through a heavy glass deck window and fell to his death. 

Now, Snowball is okay here at home if someone has to stay wth him for a little while. Or, if we take him to the groomers or vet ... he has been there without us. But, he is not safe to be alone. We have worked, and still do ... and, he has come a long way. Also, it is suspected that he may have a neurological problem ... but, I will update more about that on my other thread. (don't want to highjack this one)

I understand your point of view, too. Many people, understandably, cannot, or should not, have a special needs dog. We are in a position, with both my husband and I retired, that one of us can be here for Snowball. When I have my doctor appointments ... we can have someone stay here with Snowball. Two of my doctors allow Snowball to go with us for the visits. They invited Snowball ... they call him my *therapy dog*  

My concern though here is for Zoey being totally alone ... if she has never been left alone before. That's why I shared my experience because I thought it might help in some way. I do think Zoey would be okay with Deb or some other trusted friend. And, if it were me, I would attend my grandson's wedding. But, then I am very close to my own grandchild.


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## myfairlacy (Dec 28, 2007)

QUOTE (Snowball Pie's Mommi @ Feb 21 2010, 07:15 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888690


> QUOTE (MyFairLacy @ Feb 21 2010, 04:34 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888559





> I don't mean this to be rude, but I just can't imagine not ever being able to leave my dog alone..even for just a couple hours here and there. Even when people have real children, there are times you must be able to leave them. It's just really not practical to expect to be able to take a dog with you everywhere, all the time. I love my dogs like they were my children...they mean way more to me than most people, and believe me...I take them plenty of places and on plenty of trips as well. But I have to be able to leave them at home sometimes...when I go out to eat, when I go to the movies, when I go to work, etc. There are just certain places I just don't think dogs (or children) belong... I would never miss out on a close family member or friend's wedding because my dog wasn't allowed (as I said I'd never think to take m dog)...I'd be fine leaving them at home or in a hotel for a couple hours while I attended the ceremony and some of the reception. I spend a lot of time with my dogs but I think it's good to be able to be away from them occassionally to do other things. I really hope you can work something out so that you don't miss your grandson's special day[/B]


I don't think you mean to be rude either. 

And, I don't know if Zoey suffers from true separation anxiety. However, for some dogs who do have severe separation anxiety ... they simply cannot be left alone. 

I shared the story a couple of times on SM before ... about our personal experience (with the pictures) of what happened to Snowball when we did exactly what a well known dog training school advised us to do ... leave him alone in his crate for an hour. After that very sad and traumatic experience of what happened to Snowball, and upon the advice of our vet ... we had a well known vet behaviorist spend over six and a half hours (in one session) observing Snowball in our home. Yes, she observed and examined him for that long. She also sent to us and our vet a seven page report on the details. She noted specifically that Snowball will always be a special needs dog. She also explained that there are dogs who severely injure or even have killed themselves ... from the panic of being alone. Even a lab broke through a heavy glass deck window and fell to his death. 

Now, Snowball is okay here at home if someone has to stay wth him for a little while. Or, if we take him to the groomers or vet ... he has been there without us. But, he is not safe to be alone. We have worked, and still do ... and, he has come a long way. Also, it is suspected that he may have a neurological problem ... but, I will update more about that on my other thread. (don't want to highjack this one)

I understand your point of view, too. Many people, understandably, cannot, or should not, have a special needs dog. We are in a position, with both my husband and I retired, that one of us can be here for Snowball. When I have my doctor appointments ... we can have someone stay here with Snowball. Two of my doctors allow Snowball to go with us for the visits. They invited Snowball ... they call him my *therapy dog*  

My concern though here is for Zoey being totally alone ... if she has never been left alone before. That's why I shared my experience because I thought it might help in some way. I do think Zoey would be okay with Deb or some other trusted friend. And, if it were me, I would attend my grandson's wedding. But, then I am very close to my own grandchild.
[/B][/QUOTE]

I'm so sorry about Snowball's seperation anxiety. I wasn't thinking that Zoey had severe seperation anxiety..I was thinking that the OP just didn't like to be away from her dog. I do know that there are dogs that have severe seperation anxiety from the time that they are young puppies and not much can be done about it, as in your baby's situation. However, I have also known of people creating some seperation anxiety in a dog that otherwise wouldn't have had it because they were hardly ever away from their owner so with normal dogs it really is best to leave them alone sometimes so that they don't develop seperation anxiety. Again, I know that is not your situation (and maybe Zoey has the same as Snowball). If Zoey has never been alone and does not have seperation anxiety, she could always start with leaving her for just a few minutes at a time and work up to longer (if she's interested in doing so)...I wouldn't recommend leaving her for a few hours for the very first time. Like I said, I just hope she can work something out...family is something that is so precious (as well as our dogs as they are family too) and I'd hate for her to miss out on a special day


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Wow,I didn't realize she had such severe seperation anxiety. That's so sad to be aflicted so. We had a Dalmatian like that she'd hurt herself if she was alone. 

I hope your grandson understands hwo important it is for you to be there w/ her,that's it's not just a spoiled dog thing.

I have a hard time being away from my dogs,I hate to leave them. I remember having Amy cremated,couldn't wait to bring her ashes home to be with us. 
If we had to go on a trip,I'd want to get back to them ASAP. We even pay extra for late pick up. WE take them everywhere, hubby and I would miss them so much if we didn't take them.


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## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

QUOTE (a2z @ Feb 21 2010, 01:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888482


> I've already talked to my grandson, asking him why Zoey couldn't go in her bag. He shrugged his shoulders. And I told him I couldn't go then and he didn't answer. So it's pretty much a done deal.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm not going to be happy, Ann, until you and Zoey are going. You hit the nail right on the head. It's the bride's day and probably her decision. Have you talked to your son/daughter about this? You and Zoey are each other's companion. I get the distinct feeling someday your grandson will be kicking himself you know where if his Grandmother didn't go to his wedding. {Not just the bride's.} Please don't give up.
xoxoxoxoxoxoo


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## iheartbisou (Feb 13, 2007)

QUOTE (KAG @ Feb 22 2010, 01:16 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888807


> QUOTE (a2z @ Feb 21 2010, 01:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888482





> I've already talked to my grandson, asking him why Zoey couldn't go in her bag. He shrugged his shoulders. And I told him I couldn't go then and he didn't answer. So it's pretty much a done deal.
> 
> Weddings belong to the bride and I'm sure these are her decisions and he can't go against that.
> 
> ...


I'm not going to be happy, Ann, until you and Zoey are going. You hit the nail right on the head. It's the bride's day and probably her decision. Have you talked to your son/daughter about this? You and Zoey are each other's companion. I get the distinct feeling someday your grandson will be kicking himself you know where if his Grandmother didn't go to his wedding. {Not just the bride's.} Please don't give up.
xoxoxoxoxoxoo
[/B][/QUOTE]

I agree..please don't give up and think it's a done deal. I think missing out on your grandson's wedding will be something that everyone will regret at a later date. Even if they don't compromise on it..maybe you can? 

Sometimes people don't always do the right thing (in this case perhaps that would be allowing you to bring Zoey regardless) so the other party has to make up for it, so maybe you can meet them halfway on this? 

I would ask again or maybe take Deb up on her offer, it's only for a few hours..yet everyone will have a lifetime of memories from this wedding (good ones I hope). Good luck..I really hope you get to go to the wedding.


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## ilovemymaltese (Oct 9, 2008)

QUOTE (a2z @ Feb 21 2010, 01:46 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=888482


> I've already talked to my grandson, asking him why Zoey couldn't go in her bag. He shrugged his shoulders. And I told him I couldn't go then and he didn't answer. So it's pretty much a done deal.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


LOL What kind of carrier do you have? Many places, even food places allow Gigi to come as long as she is fully inclosed in her bag/stroller. But I'm so tired of dealing with the hassels of a giant stroller.


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## a2z (Aug 23, 2004)

Zoey has an Incognito bag and I casually drape a scarf across the top to hang on each side. The back is solid and the front always faces me. She sits on the floor between my feet at sit-down places. Nobody looks down there! She also has a backpack with a small black mesh opening that nobody really can see into. That one is for walking around. It's a 'people' type backpack but without the waterproof coating so it breathes, a lucky find. Neither of these bags looks like a typical dog bag.

The wedding is the 27th so I'm still hoping some accomodation can be found. But my inclination is to ignore the whole thing and send them a card with a check or gift card enclosed. My personal opinion is that she just wore him down! And it took 6 years...haha.

Thanks for all your responses. I appreciate this site so much, knowing if I have a problem I can always turn to you guys.
Ann and Zoey


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