# Bah Humbug...



## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Am I the only one who's just not really feeling the whole "Christmas" thing this year? The idea of putting up trees, lights, blah...blah...blah makes me feel.....well Blah lol! DH and I don't have kids so that element of excitement is out of the picture for us. Daddy passed away a few years back so my "family" has changed dramatically in my heart. Being with that side of the family has always felt empty to me since he passed away ~ it's just not the same (though I'm sure to be attacked endlessly on FB because of this lol). Mom will not be coming here for Christmas this year since she just came up to visit. Anyway, I just want to go someplace with my DH and Bella. Maybe Colonial Williamsburg, maybe the beach, (I wish NYC, but don't see that happening)....and just be with them....they are my family and when I'm the happiest. 

What about yall? Are you in to the full out Christmas/holiday spirit or do you like to run away from it all too?


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## maltese#1fan (Feb 20, 2012)

Bridget, you sound so sad. You should do what makes you happy. If the family doesn't understand so be it. As you can imagine, I'm not in the holiday spirit this year.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

I can understand those feelings Bridget. I usually hate to get out the Christmas stuff because it reminds me of moving!:smilie_tischkante:
Every other yr. now we are alone for Christmas (sans family) since the girls got married---we usually spend Christmas w/friends. This yr. we have invited the young adult son of old friends who is in Jordan for a yr. of study to come to us for 4 days. So we are busy thinking about a tree, concert tickets etc. just to make him feel more at home. It has helped me to not feel badly that we won't actually be w/our family. I may even bake some cookies??
I know a lot of people feel lonely at Christmas so I would ask God to show you who they are, who needs your loving touch, your new, beautiful home? It won't be the same for sure but YOU will feel better than if you were alone. If you can get away & that is a good feeling to you, then sell the extra car & go!:thumbsup::wub:


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Oh Karen, I can only imagine how you must be feeling this year without your Mom. It can be so hard on your spirit. 

Honestly, I'm really not sad. I know this sounds crazy, but I'm actually just (after 17 years of marriage and the loss of Daddy) finally accepting that DH, Bella and I are a complete family. I think this holds tons of opportunities. No longer do I feel the need to "do as the crowd does", we aren't like the majority. I kind of like the idea of dancing to the beat of my own drum  . We aren't tied down, we can travel (on the cheap anyway) ~ why should we sit around and do what everyone else in our family wants us to do....just to make them happy? I've spent 40 years doing that. I live with the reality that my heart isn't the best ~ the clock is ticking so to speak. I think it's time I start doing what makes me smile and living this life...it's not a dress rehearsal  .


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Sandi ~ I love the idea of praying for God to lead me to those in need. DH is quite shy, but I love reaching out. I've actually been praying quite a bit lately. I used to be very active in the ministry (I was a Senior Homebound Minister) and loved reaching out to others. I eventually got distracted and lead myself off His path. Praying he kicks my butt back in to shape so that I'm back on the right track again .


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Well I'm going away to St. John for the first two full weeks in December!!!

So I feel over whelmed to get everything done before I go.


.......I am now officially done my Christmas shopping. Stan, the dogs and I have an appointment with a photographer on Saturday, the 23rd...hopefully we'll get a picture worthy of a Christmas card. 

This weekend I'll start making zip lock bags of Dr. Harvey's food and freeze them (one bag will hold food for all 5 dogs for one day). 

Guess I'll try to decorate the day after Thanksgiving. ...seems like so much to do. And because my sister is very ill, we won't even be here on Christmas day, but over at my dad's house.

...wonder if I can pull off a neighborhood party sometime....:innocent:

Sometimes I wonder why I do all this stuff? Does anyone really care? But I know if I don't do Christmas for the family...it won't happen at all. 

I even bought gifts for people that will be from me, my sister and my daughter. :w00t:


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

St. Johns in December....now you're talking Pat! Should be a fabulous time! Sounds like you have tons to do for the holidays, hope you enjoy every single moment!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Bridget - personally I think you should come to NYC. It's a drive away...a long drive but a drive and guess who you'd get to meet? Tyler - NYC ambassador extraordinaire

I'm not in the Christmas or Chanukah spirit at all this year either. :mellow: Probably partly because I'm sick and partly because it feels earlier every year. We celebrate both holidays since I'm Jewish and DH is Catholic. This year Chanukah is insanely early. It's usually around Christmas but now the first day of it is Thanksgiving day.:blink::blink: Just doesn't feel right. Anyway this Thanksgiving we're spending with our best friends whose kids are around my DS's age and my brother's coming in from Chi. Anxious to see him. Last year we served meals for victims of Superstorm Sandy and I have to say that was one of the best Thanksgivings ever. Really meaningful and I highly recommend doing something like that that is the true spirit of the holidays, not the gifts.

The older generation in both Jim's and my family are all gone now so some of those obligatory visits (I mean obligatory in traveling to various people not obligatory like "Oh no I have to see ___)are gone too and we celebrate Christmas with his sisters and their families which are a lot of kids. It's fun for them but I also get turned off by all the overabundance...seeing kids rip through gifts looking for what's next and throwing each one aside. It makes me sad thinking of kids who don't have one toy. Since all these adult children have in-laws and also like spending the day in their own homes for Christmas we started something years ago where we'd pick a Sat or Sun in December and that's our big Christmas together. Takes a lot of the pressure off and that way we can spend Christmas in VT or NY, guilt free and doing what we want to do -- as a small nuclear family just like you and your DH, Bridget. David often has had to work holidays since he works the news, so it's often just Jim and I. We try to make it special for ourselves and leave the craziness out of it. I remember once noticing a concert we really wanted to see was at Lincoln Center and we got tix. Reinvent it as YOUR holiday as a couple and enjoy it.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Sue, I'm not sure I could adore you more if I tried. I do so love my SM family. Maybe we should put together a SM non-holiday, holiday at our house  . 

Your family was wise to adjust the day that you all get together. So much more freeing that way. I wish Dad's family was flexible about the structure of Christmas Day, but they aren't. It starts exactly on time and that's that. We are all supposed to do it that way because it's the way it's always been done. That really just doesn't work for me anymore. I love your idea of Reinventing our holiday traditions...it makes me smile  . Oh and if/when DH, Belle and I make it to NYC, I cannot wait to snuggle with Tyler! If I were you guys, I think snuggling up in your beautifully redone VT home sounds like a wonderful retreat....


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Bridget, we were actually in Liberia, Africa once for Christmas. . . just about a week after the coup. . . it was one of the most interesting Christmases ever! We even took our little maltese w/us & ended up almost having to put him to sleep there because we were not willing to pay a bribe to "export" him. It all ended well when we called the bluff, but it is a Christmas I will never forget. So, think out of the box for this Christmas! 
My advice is to follow your heart, as I said on FB, and feed your soul---whatever that means to you & your DH!


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

I haven't enjoyed Christmas for ages. When I was younger it represented working until totally exhausted. I don't think that the way we celebrate is in the least representative of what we are celebrating. Over the years I have cut out many of the traditions that are an extravagance of waste and pollution. 

One year I thought that we could enjoy going to SIL's on Christmas morning. She just loves Christmas and has 2 children. Well, that totally upset me. As Sue said, seeing the kids rip through each gift, toss it aside and rush to the next, was less than uplifting.

The next year we told the family that we would not participate in gift-exchanges any longer. It took them a few years, but now they don't give us gifts either. We might exchange home-made cookies for home-made jam, but that is it.

I stopped the tree more than ten years ago. An artificial tree would not satisfy me, but seeing all the dead trees tossed into the street for garbage pick-up actually made me cry. No more.

Now, we do feel kind of left out. But, being left out of a frenzy of shopping is just fine with me.

Plus, I am already sick of hearing that song they play on a chex-mix commercial. I can't imagine serving chex-mix for a holiday treat. I actually like that song, but after hearing it a thousand times I want to pull my hair out.

So there. I'm a bah-humbug too.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

edelweiss said:


> Bridget, we were actually in Liberia, Africa once for Christmas. . . just about a week after the coup. . . it was one of the most interesting Christmases ever! We even took our little maltese w/us & ended up almost having to put him to sleep there because we were not willing to pay a bribe to "export" him. It all ended well when we called the bluff, but it is a Christmas I will never forget. So, think out of the box for this Christmas!
> My advice is to follow your heart, as I said on FB, and feed your soul---whatever that means to you & your DH!


Oh Sandi that is crazy, but certainly a Christmas to remember :blink:. You live on the wild side my friend  !


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Sylvia, we are very much on the same page on this one. Like you and Sue indicated, watching the kids rip through presents would probably make me quite happy, but also so very sad. The waste in our society ways heavy on my heart. Once you pull away from traditions though, it is true that you do start to feel left out after a while, even though we bring it on ourselves. I've really struggled with this. The reality for me I think is that I am truly seeing this now as an opportunity for growth and change. I'm ready to explore other things, people, thoughts, cultures, ideas.... I don't fit in to this little predictable suburban Southern life that most of my friends and family hold so dear. I would be a great gypsy I think lol! I am such a wandering spirit. I need to grow and be challenged and experience new things. My DH is a traditionalist at heart though, and this difference can be pretty rough on us. Somehow we find a balance though and that's what I'm seeking I guess. Time with family and friends but also time to just be together with him. DH has been working nearly 7 days a week lately for his big company relocation and I miss him. When we do finally get some time together, I don't want it to be about some stupid plastic tree lol!


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

Dear Ms B. Humbug,

Please do not forget the reason why we celebrate Christmas! Platic trees or not, they are pretty to look at, make the dullness of winter look bright and cheery! I love the christmas movies, the scents of christmas baking etc! I do christmas sloley for the my three! I love their expressions on their faces when the tree goes up, the wide eyed look when they see their xmas stocking are full! You can always do small things to cheer others up around this season................... look into your heart and around to the others! Mabey a retirment home to go and cheer one up! Make christmas special in your own way................... for you!
Take it from me..................... the original Ms. J. humbug!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

LOL Janene. There are times when I enjoy all the decorating, lights on the tree etc, etc, but this year ~ not so much. I just want to chill out with DH some place beautiful and not at our house. We need a little retreat. Besides, DH husband just put the tree in the attic a couple of weeks ago from when we moved (in late May) - it was still in the garage lol! Seems silly to pull all that stuff right back down. Not sure why he put it up there now, but oh well  . I love doing Secret Santa and giving a few gifts out, going to visit Grandmama and the others at the retirement community etc...I just really am not interested in the whole "tree" thing for some reason. Maybe I'll change my mind, but probably not.


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

I feel like life often sucks, is short, and we need more reasons to celebrate. I plan on baking lots of cookies and wrapping presents up for the dogs and the parrot since we dont' have skin kids. I'm going to have myself a good time.


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## Cyndilou (Jan 24, 2013)

You just told my story. Our kids are 18,20,22. Two of them are on the right path and one doesn't know what the real world is. To her it is all a materialistic thing. My father passed away 3 yrs ago and Christmas has never been the same. I could literally skip it because it is just so much drama. The true meaning of Christmas is totally out the window.


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## mdbflorida (Feb 28, 2013)

Christmas is always hard after a loved one passes. Our first one after mom passed away was tough, but we made it a point to all get together because she was the glue that always made us get together. I agree with everyone, do what will make you happy or reinvent it.


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Just do what you want to do Bridgett! If Williamsburg is where you want to celebrate the Holidays then do it. Den and I were the ones (40 years ago) that began the Christmas Eve get together at our house. My parents, brothers, their families, friends, Den's side of the family, and anyone else who wants to come , has dinner, and gifts at our house. It is a lot of work decorating, cooking, baking, and cleaning,but I really enjoy it! I put Christmas music on as I bake or decorate. Everything smells and looks Christmasy! I totally love it! My parents are getting older and I know there will be a time that they won't be here anymore. As long as they!re around, and are able to come , we'll celebrate Christ's Birthday in a big way!!


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Bridgett, I personally vote for Colonial Williamsburg! In fact, I just might go there myself! Why yes, I do think I will . . . OK, fessing up - I'll be there in a couple of weeks for the Illumination.

Anyway, my family's holiday gathering was never on Christmas Day because of the logistics challenges. When I was married, that meant spending it with MIL. I've been divorced 10 years now and the first few years always spent the day with one friend or another so I wouldn't be "alone."

In 2010, my mother became terminally ill and was placed in a skilled care facility on Thanksgiving day. As you can imagine, the holidays were very emotional. The Family Gathering was at the facility the day after Christmas, so Christmas Day I decided I needed a break. I slept in, stayed in pajamas all day, snuggled with the fluffs, had my favorite baked mostacciolli, and watched movies. I relaxed and recharged and afterwards felt like I could handle what we were going to be facing with my mom.

Since then, that is my new Christmas tradition. I even buy myself a new pair of pajamas for the occasion! I still treasure getting together with my siblings and their kids, but that one day is for me.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

maggieh said:


> Bridgett, I personally vote for Colonial Williamsburg! In fact, I just might go there myself! Why yes, I do think I will . . . OK, fessing up - I'll be there in a couple of weeks for the Illumination.
> 
> Anyway, my family's holiday gathering was never on Christmas Day because of the logistics challenges. When I was married, that meant spending it with MIL. I've been divorced 10 years now and the first few years always spent the day with one friend or another so I wouldn't be "alone."
> 
> ...


 
You are going to be here soon Maggie!:aktion033: If you get the time in your schedule, you should give me a call for a quick get together  .


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

You guys are so inspiring. I love hearing how everyone chooses to spend such a sacred day/holiday.:wub: I think I'm going to ask DH to wake up early on Christmas a.m. and we could head to W'burg and Yorktown with Belle. BTW, my profile pic is of Belle at Yorktown at Christmas  . It will be more cost effective than getting a place down there (it's only about 45 minutes or so from our house) and this way Belle can sleep in her own bed....errrr beds lol.


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

Bridgett...I think you should do what ever it is you feel like on christmas!
Personally...I could care aless  it's such a busy time of year for me and quite frankly....I think it's a real pain to put up a tree...so I don't.
Shopping is done on line, gifts are thrown in gift bags...no wrapping here.
The only time I put up a tree was when I raised my daughter and even then, as she got older I would try and bribe her with things just so I didn't have to do a thing.
When she was real little, she would open up her presents and I would throw her in the car, head to the airport to catch a flight back to California.
When she left for college 4 years ago was the last time I had a tree in my house even though she comes home for Christmas and I love it...she now laughs at me.
When I did have a tree...it was in the trash Christmas night....call me Scrooge


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

maddysmom said:


> Bridgett...I think you should do what ever it is you feel like on christmas!
> Personally...I could care aless  it's such a busy time of year for me and quite frankly....I think it's a real pain to put up a tree...so I don't.
> Shopping is done on line, gifts are thrown in gift bags...no wrapping here.
> The only time I put up a tree was when I raised my daughter and even then, as she got older I would try and bribe her with things just so I didn't have to do a thing.
> ...


Well Scrooge we may be a perfect pair  . My Daddy used to literally carry the tree to the basement and just bring it back upstairs at Christmas. I think we did "undecorate" it each year, but I'm not positive lol!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Funny about the Christmas tree. That's the one thing I enjoy in the house. I think because our nuclear family tradition has been to go to a Vermont Christmas tree farm and find and cut down "our" tree. We did it since David was a baby. It usually is freezing cold, snow up to your hips and then there's the, "This one. No this one. No this one. Not that one this one" arguments and the schlep to and from the field. Drove me nuts but in a way, I wouldn't have it any other way. A real family activity:chili: with hot cider waiting in the barn where we'd also get a wreath. I hate manufactured fragrances but love the smell of fresh pine in the apartment and we don't have fancy decorations; just ones that have meaning through the years. And our trees get mulched and spread in Central Park


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## TLR (Nov 13, 2011)

I love the holidays and have more decorations than one person should ever have. I usually put up two trees and decorate about every room in the house including the patio and outside around the pool and deck. It takes me weeks to get it all done. I usually host a Christmas party here for my employees, set another night for open house for friends and then a big family gathering on Christmas Day. This year, I'm not doing any of it. It will probably make me sad not to have the house glowing in lights, sparkle and candles but with all we have been through this year, I am looking forward to a quiet day snuggling with DH and Ben. I feel the need to simplify a few things in my life...hard for me to do but necessary. Do what makes you happy and enjoy the blessing of each day.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

TLR said:


> I love the holidays and have more decorations than one person should ever have. I usually put up two trees and decorate about every room in the house including the patio and outside around the pool and deck. It takes me weeks to get it all done. I usually host a Christmas party here for my employees, set another night for open house for friends and then a big family gathering on Christmas Day. This year, I'm not doing any of it. It will probably make me sad not to have the house glowing in lights, sparkle and candles but with all we have been through this year, I am looking forward to a quiet day snuggling with DH and Ben. I feel the need to simplify a few things in my life...hard for me to do but necessary.* Do what makes you happy and enjoy the blessing of each day.*


So well put, Tracey:wub:


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

Summergirl73 said:


> Well Scrooge we may be a perfect pair  . My Daddy used to literally carry the tree to the basement and just bring it back upstairs at Christmas. I think we did "undecorate" it each year, but I'm not positive lol!


Boy...I'm feeling the pressure now....at least your family didn't resort to the paper tree that opens up like an accordion, my daughter was not a happy camper with that christmas tree but on a positive note...we had a tree


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Same here holidays are a bummer and I will probably be laid up with cancer treatment on Chanukah and Christmas this year but hoping for renewed good health for my holidays
I do get excited about the holidays for fluff shopping. Got to get on it before treatment...


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

I LOVE the holidays, but with three little ones excited about Santa it's hard not to. I love the holidays, but I HATE decorating for Christmas. Hate it. I hate dragging out the tree, I hate dragging out all the ornaments, hate doing the lights. And don't get me started on the Elf on the Shelf. BAH HUMBUG!!! I do the minimum amount of decorating required (wreath on the door, tree in the house, nativity scene on the sofa table), and I love when it's done. But then I DREAD the taking that dang tree down again. I avoid the malls at all cost. My poor kids haven't sat on Santa's lap in years because I refuse to stand in line for hours on end (but we are lucky enough to have Santa's phone number so we just call him instead B)). Thank God for online shopping or else no one in my family would get any gifts unless they came from Walgreens. But you know what, I have just realized this is my limit and I don't feel bad that I don't go crazy with decorating because it doesn't make me happy, and if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!


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## Leila'sMommy (Oct 20, 2012)

I love Christmas! But it's not as fun these past years with no little kids around and deaths of close family members in the past seven years. Decorating usually puts me more in the mood but this year I'm very limited in what I'm able to do because of needing knee replacements. Lots of our family members are either nurses or doctors, so it makes getting everyone off work for holidays at the same time difficult as does getting with the ones out of town/state. I sure miss the days when we all lived close, the kids were little, and no one worked at a hospital!


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

We hang giant bulbs and stars from the ceiling in the familyroom and decorate the fireplace with pine garland and lights... We used to put up a tree but can't see it in the living room since it's off to one side of the house. Once we open the wall... next year now... we'll put one up since we'll see it from the family room...


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