# Tough love thing (food) -- how long do I go?



## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Hi,

You all know my Gracie pup is a picky eater.

Dr. Julie saw her on Monday when I took Gussy in for his eyelids. She said she looks GREAT. 

When we first saw her she said Grace was too skinny and needed to put some weight on. But now she says she looks really good and that her weight is perfect for her age right now (she is 5 months).

So I decided to try the tough love bit with the food. No longer catering to Grace's pickiness. Just putting down some good quality kibble and some crumbled Stella & Chewy patties and that's it.

She was really enjoying the S&C patties and the kibbles I have her eating are ones she has eaten happily with the patties crumbled on top for about 2 weeks now. And she hasn't had a big food rejection "episode" for these 2 weeks. Occasionally I will add something else to her food if she wasn't interested in it at meal time. But that was it. She usually gobbled it up quite easily. So thought this would be easy, as well.

Her losing a massive amount of teeth all at once didn't help things. She began her pickiness again. But the adult teeth are now coming down so I'm not worried about her being able to eat the food anymore. Though maybe her back teeth are loosening now? I don't know.

Anyway.

She didn't eat much at all Tuesday morning. Refused to eat the rest of the day. Everyone in the house ignored the sad little puppy begging for food. I did give her a small cookie right before bed (Gus too) just because she literally had not eaten all day since that morning.

Thought for sure Wednesday morning she would scarf her food down. Nope. Wouldn't even touch it.

So I picked it up, left a little dish of kibble in her crate (Gus can't get it) and we went on with the day.

She managed to gobble up in a frenzy: 1 gold fish cracker, 2 fruit drops, and a tiny piece of bread from my nephew before I could snatch them. But that was all she ate yesterday. Literally. All she ate.

But I said: Okay - Maybe this is a battle of wills here and I can outlast her no problem. She will eat dinner, hasn't eaten all day.

No dinner. I even tried before bed. Nope. Gus ate her food right in front of her. Didn't phase her. She didn't care at all.

So she went to bed hungry. She IS hungry. Seriously 

This morning - thought for sure she would eat. Put down kibble, some S&C patties. Even put down a mix of kibble (2 of the 3 we use) and have left it down for 4 hours now. She hasn't eaten. I even sprinkled some on the floor thinking we are back to the bowl issue. But nope. Not one bite.

So it has been 2 days now since she has eaten enough to qualify as a meal. And not nearly enough to help her grow. Will weigh her here if she doesn't eat - make sure she is holding her weight.

I know she isn't eating things in secret LOL ... But she is literally NOT eating. She is drinking water. But won't touch the food. But I know she isn't sick because she wants to eat what people have. She will scarf down anything my nephew drops if we aren't on top of it. But I know she isn't getting any food anywhere else. Nephew hasn't dropped enough to make her not hungry, and she hasn't been left alone with anyone so I know she isn't being snuck food.

They all know what I'm trying to do and are supportive. So the kibble is in her crate, and another small dish in the kitchen area for when we are out there. But she has not touched any of it. I haven't even given her any treats outside of the one cookie Tuesday night.

And I know she is a tiny dog so wouldn't eat much. But she hasn't eaten anything.

So is the theory that a dog will eat when they are hungry - just put down the food, pick it up if they haven't eaten - they will eat when they are hungry......... Is that right? Or are there cases, like Grace, where maybe that theory is wrong?

Her gums are white this morning. 

So how long do I try the tough love thing?

Do I tough it out one more day?

Or do I just stop and surrender to the fact that some dogs are just picky / finicky eaters and Grace is one of them?

I'm honestly not sure here. I haven't had a dog who was this way before. I can outlast her if her not eating this long won't harm her.... I used to work with toddlers - I can hold my ground and outlast pretty much anyone LOL.

But I want to do what is best for Grace. It is *easier for me* if she would be like Gus and just eat whatever I put down. But is that fair to Grace? She isn't like Gus and .... everyone is different, every dog is different. Maybe asking this of her is too much?

I don't know....

Am I hurting her letting her go this long without food?

Insight, opinions, experience please?

Thanks,

Tori


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## mpappie (Jun 28, 2005)

White gums are not good, maybe you better call the vet.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

It can not be healthy for a 5 month old puppy to go for days without eating. What is the issue with not giving her something special? I would be afraid her blood sugar would drop too low and you might lose her.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Been there, done that with Tyler. He just is a picky eater. Period. He'll go two days without eating and his stomach making horrific noises. I ended up home cooking and even with that, after a while he likes a change, usually of protein and then he's fine. I know that many suggest the put down, pick up method but when it lasts for days, I just don't feel comfortable. Good luck and gums should be pink.


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Have you tried putting her kibble on the floor? For the longest time Rocky was afraid of his bowls and refused to eat from them.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

Snowbody said:


> Been there, done that with Tyler. He just is a picky eater. Period. He'll go two days without eating and his stomach making horrific noises. I ended up home cooking and even with that, after a while he likes a change, usually of protein and then he's fine. I know that many suggest the put down, pick up method but when it lasts for days, I just don't feel comfortable. Good luck and gums should be pink.


I also home cook for Sassy. She became ill about 2 yrs ago and I realized that even high quality dog food just isn't that high in quality. By home cooking I know exactly what Sassy is eating and now she is very healthy.

Have you considered hand feeding? Maybe she just needs a little coaxing. Just a thought........


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Yeah.... I posted when I first got her (Feb. this year) and you all were helpful with suggestions.

She did okay but is picky and insists on new food all the time.

I've tried putting it on the floor and hand feeding this morning. Still nothing.

I can't home cook for her right now until my sister moves out. There are just way too many people and the fridge is packed. Once she moves out we have a second fridge that I can use for dog food storage.

I just know there were responses to me and other posts I've seen that picky eaters are created by moms offering tastier things if they don't eat what was put down to begin with.

So since she was at a good weight, etc. I decided to try what some suggest - just put the food down, pick it up keeping some dry kibble down for her, and then wait until the next meal time.

I know if I go grab some cheese or peanut butter she would scarf it down right now. So it isn't that she isn't wanting to eat, period. She just isn't wanting to eat the dog food.

I'll go give her something now. Maybe she's just a picky eater.


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## ladodd (Jan 8, 2012)

Lily is Miss Picky also. Of course, she's an adult. But, I resorted to cooking chicken and I mix it with her dry food. I just switched her to Orijen, which she eats much better as long as its mixed with chicken. She's been known to go 2-3 days without eating. We'll be bringing the new puppy home on 6/2, not sure how we will handle the feeding situation. I hope she's not a picky one.


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

My Madison likes to be hand fed. Her Daddy says I am spoiling her; I just call it Mommy-Daughter time. She is a VERY picky eater and has a VERY delicate tummy.


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## beckinwolf (Sep 2, 2008)

Have you tried soaking her food in warm water? That usually works for Micky, who used to be very picky. I leave his food down all day, and he never touches it, but as soon as I add warm water, he gobbles it up. It creates a kind of gravy that I think they like.


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## socalyte (Nov 15, 2010)

As I've stated before, I struggle with this with Cozette. She is underweight at just barely over three pounds. My issue is that I will be gone for two separate vacations this year, and I know that no one else will hand feed her, coax her with other delectable food if she doesn't eat, etc. I have to teach her to eat on her own, and Lord knows she wasn't like this when I got her. She ate so well. I'm almost tempted to put her back on the dog food she came with (purina puppy chow) just to see if she will eat that with gusto. I have no problem with Pippa, and sometimes Cozette will growl at Pippa if Pippa is eating and Cozette is hungry, but even then sometimes she won't eat unless I hand feed. So, if anyone has a magic cure, I'd sure like to know it. I am desperate to figure out what will work since I can't always be here for her.


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## reanut1379 (Oct 10, 2011)

I did the same warm water trick with Sophie. It worked really well, but now she won't eat her food unless there is water in there. I don't really mind though, because she eats her food now. I also mix things up a bit. For breakfast, I just put water in her bowl, but for dinner I usually put some chicken breasts and a veggie or two in with her food. I switch it up with the veggies. Maybe one day it's green beans and broccoli, the next day is carrots. 

I hope little Gracie eats for you!


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Thanks all 

The warm water trick doesn't work for Grace.

She hates any kind of wet, mushy food. She doesn't like to get messy. It has to be separate bites if the food is soft (like spaced on a plate) or she won't touch it.

Which is why I was so happy she liked the Stella & Chewy's patties - because I found something she liked that was "clean" - I just crumble it dry.

But no go.

Gave her some shredded chicken a little while ago. She only would eat it if I hand fed her.

Once my sister moves out I will try home cooking with her. Maybe that will help. But I still worry about making something for her - like a batch of food - and then she refuses to eat it the next day.

Maybe some dogs are just picky.....


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

I saw a Dog Whisperer episode recently (don't hate on me, it's entertaining!) where a guy was constntly worried about his dog not eating or drinking enough, and it got to the point where she wouldn't at his house. But at his neighbor's house the dog would gobble up her food and drink water just fine. The dog's owner was constantly pulling the dog over to the bowl, messing with the food, coaxing, putting it in the dog's face, trying to hand feed, etc. Cesar said they owner was basically making the dog scared of the food and water because he (the owner) was so neurotic about it. I'm not suggesting that this is the problem in your case, but I know sometimes when we worry so much, even when we think we're not acting worried, the "kids" pick up on it. I thought it was interesting because I always thought a dog would eat if they got hungry enough but maybe not! Maybe Grace is just like my kids where I prepare them a healthy, home cooked meal but they don't touch it. But if I put a McDonald's Happy Meal in front of them? Anyway, all I can say is GRRRR, I know it's frustrating! Lucky for me I have three kids to frustrate me so my dog comes out smelling like a rose no matter what he does!


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Yeah.... I wasn't worried about Grace not eating until this morning when her gums were turning white.

Really I was fine letting her go..... thought she was stubborn and after she saw she wasn't getting anything else she would eat. But 2 whole days is kind of long for a 5 month puppy.

Cesar is entertaining... I watch him too sometimes, but I don't agree with him a lot of the time. Dogs are smarter and have more emotion than anyone ever thought - great documentaries about the brain of a dog - tests, etc they have done - dogs have evolved from "wild wolves / packs" to human companions. They even will look at a human's face the same way we look at each other's faces - which they don't do with other dogs.

Anyway.

Will just have to keep trying I guess. Won't stress over it tho.


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

_Cesar is entertaining... I watch him too sometimes, but I don't agree with him a lot of the time. Dogs are smarter and have more emotion than anyone ever thought - great documentaries about the brain of a dog - tests, etc they have done - dogs have evolved from "wild wolves / packs" to human companions. They even will look at a human's face the same way we look at each other's faces - which they don't do with other dogs.
_

I believe that too! Maybe Cesar's dogs don't look at him like that b/c he's the pack leader. But my dog definitely gives me lovey dovey eyes!:wub:


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Lucky will go through stages of not eating. When he eats things other than kibble, like wet foods, he has elimination issues. The only kibble he will eat is a fish based kibble - there are several natural ones on the market. We often have to make a game of it - I rub his nose, his mouth opens, I put the kibble in his mouth, he will spit it out, I will put it in his month, he spits it out, but eventually he chews and eats. Sometimes I have to rub a little peanut butter on the kibble - then he gobbles it up - it is a bit messy but it works.


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## luvmyfluffybutt (Jan 6, 2012)

Snowbody said:


> Been there, done that with Tyler. He just is a picky eater. Period. He'll go two days without eating and his stomach making horrific noises. I ended up home cooking and even with that, after a while he likes a change, usually of protein and then he's fine.


Daisy is the same way!! We started home cooking because I didn't feel she was getting enough nutrition and also she stopped eating her food!! She will love something and gobble it down but then I think she gets burned out and won't touch it for a while!!! Fortunately, she won't eat her food mixed together so it's super easy for me to change her protein/veg/carb when she won't eat. My main issue is legumes since she only likes 2 and I worry about allergies!!! 

T, I just read a book that said there's no harm in hand feeding so maybe try the chicken again if you're comfortable with that. Our house revolves around the princess and by this point I have lost all illusions that I am somehow the pack leader so I have no objections but I know not everyone feels the same way!!!


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## Rocky's Mom (Apr 10, 2010)

Rocky was THE most picky eater on SM I believe...and now for the last three months he has eaten great. I tried kibble for the first two years of his life, with occasionally throwing in some canned food. Sometimes he would eat a few spoonfuls and walk away. He lived on barely anything. 

Then I researched and bought Pet Fresh. It is a high quality food. I buy it from the supermarket, not all of them have it. I go to Albertson's. There they have a refrigeratored section with this dog food in it. It comes like a loaf of salami or bologna. I slice 1/4 of it every morning and night and he gobbles it up. Sometimes he waits to see if I'll give him anything else, but now I don't pay attention to that at all. He's become a very good eater and I can't thank Pet Fresh enough. They sent me coupons after I emailed them my story. 

Search for the nearest store to you that has it...I don't think your baby will refuse it. I get the chicken and vegies one. Good luck!


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## LoveLucy (Mar 18, 2012)

A little bit of canned food on top? Most dogs like canned food and they make quality ones now...


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Peanut butter on the food... hmmmmm. She LOVES peanut butter. Wants to live in the jar! Maybe I will try that one!

Freshpet worked for us for about 2 days then she stopped eating it. Won't touch it now. But she does like their dehydrated sweet potatoes.

Grace won't touch canned food. Has never - even when I first got her she wouldn't eat it. The only "soft" food I've been able to get her to eat is occasional baby food.

I even had some success stuffing her kong and feeding her that way. But after 1-2 days she snubbed it.

Interesting that you read a book about hand feeding being okay  Very neat! I read one (maybe the same?) that said to hand feed to help dogs see you as "giver of all good things" - helping to build bonds, trust, and even put you as "leader"...... I am okay with it.... So might just give up and hand feed her.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Use very little - rub it in your hands, then rub the kibble between your hands, lightly coating the kibble with the peanut butter. It works, but can be messy.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

Grace'sMom said:


> Thanks all
> 
> The warm water trick doesn't work for Grace.
> 
> ...


I only cook 2 days of food at the time. Each meal Sassy gets: pan seared tilapia, 1-2 baby carrot(s), 2-4 blueberries, and 5 kibbles. 

Occasionally if the blueberries don't look too pretty in the store I will substitute apple or another fruit for a couple of days until I get back to the store.


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## luvmyfluffybutt (Jan 6, 2012)

On a side note I am having the opposite problem today, Dais is absolutely ravenous!!! She hoovered down her food both times today which is odd in itself but we had grilled cheese for dinner and she didn't want the protein I had in the fridge for her so I just gave her dog food!!! A few minutes ago she just barked at me and when I couldn't figure out what she wanted she went and sat down in front of the fridge!!! She has never done that before. I shared a banana with her and she seems sated but in the words of Alice "curiouser and curiouser!!"


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## luvmyfluffybutt (Jan 6, 2012)

Interesting that you read a book about hand feeding being okay  Very neat! I read one (maybe the same?) that said to hand feed to help dogs see you as "giver of all good things" - helping to build bonds, trust, and even put you as "leader"...... I am okay with it.... So might just give up and hand feed her.[/QUOTE]

The context of my book was different, but I'm glad you read something similar, I feel vindicated :HistericalSmiley:


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

sassy's mommy said:


> I only cook 2 days of food at the time. Each meal Sassy gets: pan seared tilapia, 1-2 baby carrot(s), 2-4 blueberries, and 5 kibbles.
> 
> Occasionally if the blueberries don't look too pretty in the store I will substitute apple or another fruit for a couple of days until I get back to the store.



Mmmmmm.... minus the kibbles that sounds yummy 

So 1 tilapia filet per meal? Twice a day? Or is this recipe divided for the entire day?

Sounds easy :thumbsup:


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## luvmyfluffybutt (Jan 6, 2012)

This is the site I used when I started home cooking:

How to Cook for A Maltese Dog | eHow.com

#3 tells you the percentage of protein, carb, etc. and #4 gives you the formula on how much to feed. Hope this helps!!


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Thanks!!

I tried some fish, veg, pasta, and cottage cheese (small amounts of everything) and she gobbled it up. So... at least for today she likes fish.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

I'm the one around here who is the big proponent of "they will eat when they are hungry", but in Grace's case, I say do whatever it takes. I am shocked that she went for two whole days without eating. I know she just went to the vet, but I would be really worried about white gums. Did you call your vet?


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Sylie said:


> I'm the one around here who is the big proponent of "they will eat when they are hungry", but in Grace's case, I say do whatever it takes. I am shocked that she went for two whole days without eating. I know she just went to the vet, but I would be really worried about white gums. Did you call your vet?


Hi Sylvia,

I did not call the vet - I rubbed some honey on her gums which she licked off then hand fed her some chicken and her gums started to pink up.

Her gums were pink until that last morning when they started going white. Stubborn pup.

I'm giving up I guess and Grace will be my picky eater. At least Gus will eat anything I give him.


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## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

luvmyfluffybutt said:


> On a side note I am having the opposite problem today, Dais is absolutely ravenous!!! She hoovered down her food both times today which is odd in itself but we had grilled cheese for dinner and she didn't want the protein I had in the fridge for her so I just gave her dog food!!! A few minutes ago she just barked at me and when I couldn't figure out what she wanted she went and sat down in front of the fridge!!! She has never done that before. I shared a banana with her and she seems sated but in the words of Alice "curiouser and curiouser!!"


LOL Zooey is such a piglet too. I'm trying to think of one food I've given her that she's rejected! 

Tori, I hope Grace continues to try _and like_ new things!


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## luvmyfluffybutt (Jan 6, 2012)

zooeysmom said:


> LOL Zooey is such a piglet too. I'm trying to think of one food I've given her that she's rejected!


Dais is usually super picky, hates dog food/treats, and it takes her several hours to finish a bowl of food so yesterday was really out of character for her!!! She is really hungry today too- she wolfed down her food this morning and just ate her dinner AND part of mine!! Plus she had a carrot before dinner!!!

She has been pooping a lot (volume and quantity) the past couple of days so I wonder of that has anything to do with her increased appetite.


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## Rocky's Mom (Apr 10, 2010)

All I can say is stick with *one* food she liked the *best* and keep giving it to her day and night. At first when I started doing that, Rocky would wait to see what else I had. Then when he saw that was all he was getting, it got better. If I see Rocky is not going to the food and eating it right away, I say, "You don't want it?" And he knows I am going to pick it up, so he now runs to it. This took almost two years for him to be a good eater, so I'm not saying it's easy. I just wish I would have stuck to *ONE* food that he liked best and keep putting it out and taking it up after ten minutes. This got Rocky to eat and eat well. Now I put the food down and he gobbles it up. Keep trying...it's their will...it can be strong, but you have to be stronger. I would not give treats between meals either. Only till I did this, did I win the battle. Your puppy is young...so keep trying to put the food down, but if he doesn't go to it within a few minutes, pick it up, put it back in the fridge...try again later. She will get the idea and soon realize this is it and I had better eat it. Good luck...believe me you have my sympathy.


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