# My partner dropped a bombshell on me tonight



## Luna'sMom (Oct 7, 2007)

I am really upset - my partner of 5 years (since I was 17) just dumped me (or decided we were "taking a break"). It was completely sudden - I had no idea and I am completely heartbroken. 
We have been living together for 3 years - so its not an easy situation. 

I called my dad and I am now at my parents house for the next few days while I sort out whats happening - Luna is with me! She is quite upset as she doesn't understand. 

Just needed to talk to someone, 

Kylie


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Awww sweetie, I am so sorry :grouphug: 

Right now, I know it hurts like heck...and tomorrow it probably will too.

But, please try and not think about it..as he "dumped" you....try, as hard as it is, to look at it, as some time to yourself, and really think about your relationship...where you really happy with him?

A lot of times when things like this happen, we forget about the difficult times the realtionship may have had.

Take this time for YOU. Cry as much as you want....lay around as much as you want...give yourself that time to do so...

And then pick one thing...that you always wanted to do...and haven't yet...and go and do it....even if it's as little as going to the mall, picking up an item for yourself, that you always wanted to have...

:grouphug: Your hurting and that is all so normal :grouphug:


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## bentleyboy (Dec 13, 2006)

Thats so rough. I know exactly how this feels. We are all here for you.


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## Morkie4 (Oct 13, 2006)

Not much to do but say that I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I certainly sympathize and it is "his" loss!


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through! Break ups are so difficult. Christine gave you some great advice, and if someone doesn't want to be with you then they aren't worth it. It doesn't make it any easier but keep this thought in the back of your head....if you stay in a relationship that you aren't happy in then you'll miss the opportunity to meet the one you meant to be with. I hope in time your heart heals and you'll be able to love again. I just know that you and Luna will get through this together. :grouphug:


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## Hunter's Mom (Dec 8, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear that this happened! I agree that you should give yourself a little treat to make yourself feel better and spoil your pup a little bit more  I hope things work out for you and your partner (if this is truly what you want) and if it doesn't then it was better to find out now than 5 more years from now.

Best of luck to you and please feel free to vent to us all as much as you need to!


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

I know that speech oh too well.. "lets take a break"... no such thing as break... I went through a break up like this recently... about 3yrs ago... Everyone here at SM were great! Soooo... dont be afraid to come here and express how you feel. Hang in there Kylie... Things will get better... it just might take sometime. Looking back 3yrs later... i now see what I couldnt see at the time... things worked out for the best.

stay strong.. :grouphug:


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## njdrake (Apr 23, 2007)

I just posted to a thread that sounds a lot like this one. 
I think there's already been some great advice in this thread.

Here's what I replied to hers and I think the same applies here. 

I agree with the get on with your life. Don't sit and wonder what happened, things happen for a reason and who knows what the reason is for this. If you make yourself happy without him then things will fall into place. If he changes his mind later then it will be your choice what happens. You'll either want to try it again or you won't but you have be happy with yourself alone and without him first .... move on and put this behind you and what is meant to happen will. Something I have found is that when something like this happens there's a trust that's broken and its so hard to get it back. If he called you back today you'd worry and wonder if its going to happen again and what's on his mind. Its so important that you get to a point that you're happy with your life, with or without him in it. This is so easy to say and hard to do but you can't let something get you down that you have no control over. You're going to have to think about the advice you get, think about what's best for you and that's what you need to do but go slowly and think it out. 
Good luck!!


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## jodublin (Sep 27, 2006)

so sorry .  Jane gives good advice ,i hope things work out for you ...
as john lennon once said 'as usual there is a great women ,behind every idiot 'hugs,,jo


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## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

I am really sorry that this happened to you. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} I was going to post the same thing that Allheart and NJDrake gave you. I too have been in this situation and it is really hard but you have to take care of you and try to not think about it. I know it is hard to even imagine right now or tough because you are hurting but your friends are there for you to lean on. If you feel that you are reaching for the phone to call him, don't dial his #, dial a friends even if it is at 2am in the morning. He seriously does not know what he had and for him to throw it away like he did, you do not want that type of person in your life. The girls are right, it is his loss and he will learn that sooner or later. My ex did and honestly when he came crawling back with an engagement ring. I told him no and honestly, it was the best decision I made next to the one regarding getting Daisy. Surround yourself with friends online and in person. We are all here for you to help you through this. Just keep your chin up. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} You are a wonderful, beautiful person, inside and out. There is someone out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and your current ex is not the one. It seriously is his loss.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

QUOTE (njdrake @ Jan 12 2009, 09:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704094


> I just posted to a thread that sounds a lot like this one.
> I think there's already been some great advice in this thread.
> 
> Here's what I replied to hers and I think the same applies here.
> ...


 :goodpost: and good advice.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Awwww Debbie, so well said. :heart: 

I never broke up with anyone, but have been "freed", from a couple of relationships. To this day, I remember the pain, of being "freed". I fell to the floor crying so hard. But as I was crying, I just knew somewhere within me, that it was the very best thing for me.

I just tryed to heal my hurt, and love me. That may sound odd, but I just had to make sure I took care of me. I lived on my own, and just spent the time, rebuilding myself.

One thing we tend to do, is to "glamorize" the person who "freed" us. When they walk away, we are so hurt, that we are blinded to anything we may have been uncomfortable with...We start to mourn, not loosing the person, but loosing the person we wanted them to be.

If all that pain had not happened to me, I don't think I could really appreciate the man my husband is ( except when he won't let Mia where a bow 

Sending you more hugs...and you heal at your own pace.


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## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

Oh Kylie,
You're young, you're beautiful and you will be ok. It hurts and it sucks. Cry your eyes out. You will stop and feel better. Try to be civil when dealing with your partner. The time will come when he realizes a huge mistake was made. You'll probably be too busy enjoying your life to care.

Hang in there, honey. 
xoxoxoxo


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## Dixie's Mama (Mar 19, 2008)

QUOTE (njdrake @ Jan 12 2009, 09:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704094


> I just posted to a thread that sounds a lot like this one.
> I think there's already been some great advice in this thread.
> 
> Here's what I replied to hers and I think the same applies here.
> ...


 :goodpost: Wonderful advice. I'm sorry you are hurting, Kylie. It takes time. Jane's advice is perfect. I know after my first husband died I had to learn about myself and what I was like on my own, with no one to influence me. It takes time to build your own identity and know yourself. The only way you can do that is on your own. In time you will find you are a pretty nice person and you like yourself. Then you are ready for another relationship. When you learn you can face the world alone you are strong and ready for love! Strange but true. Come here to vent and talk about your fears and feelings. We will love you just the way you are.


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## Deborah (Jan 8, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I just want you to know things will get better. :hugging:


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## wolfieinthehouse (Dec 14, 2007)

Oh no!

Breaking up is really tough!

It hurts so much when it wasn't your choice and you have to go along with it.

I hope you get through this with minimal sadness and go on to find another person to love who loves you equally as much.

Hugs.


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

Oh hun this sucks....keep your head up and surround yourself with people who love you :grouphug: If you need anyone to talk to im here for you :grouphug:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

QUOTE (Sassy's mommy @ Jan 12 2009, 10:10 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704122


> QUOTE (njdrake @ Jan 12 2009, 09:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704094





> I just posted to a thread that sounds a lot like this one.
> I think there's already been some great advice in this thread.
> 
> Here's what I replied to hers and I think the same applies here.
> ...


 :goodpost: and good advice.
[/B][/QUOTE]

truer words were never spoken. Life is too short. Don't waste it fighting for someone who doesn't deserve you anyway.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

I am so sorry. Take Care of Yourself.


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## Missy&Maggie (Jun 17, 2007)

OMG, I'm so sorry!!! :grouphug: I can't image how devasted and upset you must feel!!! :grouphug: You have received some great advice!!! And remember you have Luna, who loves you very much!!!! :grouphug:


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## Cosy (Feb 9, 2006)

There's a funny poem by Dorothy Parker , I always said to my daughters when their
hearts were broken, that goes like this:


Life is a season of unending joy
A medley of extemporanea
Love is a song that can never go wrong
And I am the Queen of Romania!

I think we learn something from every heartache. It strengthens us for
the life we are suppose to have.


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## KandiMaltese (Mar 27, 2007)

Excellent advice has been given here. Trust has been broken. I am so sorry to hear that this has happened. We are all here to lend a shoulder to cry on :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

Prayers that your broken heart will mend and that God will guide you into His beautiful will.


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

awwww geeeze Kylie, I'm sorry to hear this. I'm here for you babe - mail me if you want to chat, or vent, or whatever xxxx


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

I am so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

I am so sorry!!! Try not to think of it as "he dumped me" but rather as, " it wasnt meant to be." People change and sometimes we have to just let it go. I hope you feel better!! I have no doubt you will find happiness and love again!! Be optimistic!!! (((BIG HUG)))


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## Luna'sMom (Oct 7, 2007)

I truly thought he was the "One" - I had no idea something was wrong - I am still completely stumped. I thought he was 'joking' when he said it because we had just had a nice evening hanging out and we were talking about our plans for the week (we were supposed to be having friends over next week).

My dad is being really supportive - which is nice - and I still have Luna (even though she is carrying on alot because she is confused). 

I'm in the middle of my honours degree atm and its rotten timing - I honestly want to quit Uni now and do something else. But I doubt that would be well received by my parents. 

I know I should probably just give up on him - but he is my best friend and after living with someone for 3 years it's hard to even think that this has happened (3 years is a long time to a 21 year old  ). 

Thanks for the support everyone - it means alot! 

Kylie


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (Allheart @ Jan 12 2009, 08:52 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704078


> Awww sweetie, I am so sorry :grouphug:
> 
> Right now, I know it hurts like heck...and tomorrow it probably will too.
> 
> ...



I think Christine has given you some great advice.

I am sorry that you are hurting so much. And, understandably so. 

You have a lot going for you. You are young and pretty. You have your whole life in front of you. I am sure the real true love of your life is out there in your future. 

And, you have so many friends here on SM, that are here to support and help you get through this. :grouphug:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (njdrake @ Jan 12 2009, 09:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704094


> I just posted to a thread that sounds a lot like this one.
> I think there's already been some great advice in this thread.
> 
> Here's what I replied to hers and I think the same applies here.
> ...


I like this advice, too. 

I have a feeling that many of us here are sharing advice and feedback from our own personal experiences. 

You really do have to put yourself first in this case, and then with time, you will feel better with whatever choices you make in the end.

:grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (Luna'sMom @ Jan 12 2009, 05:44 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=704498


> I truly thought he was the "One" - I had no idea something was wrong - I am still completely stumped. I thought he was 'joking' when he said it because we had just had a nice evening hanging out and we were talking about our plans for the week (we were supposed to be having friends over next week).
> 
> My dad is being really supportive - which is nice - and I still have Luna (even though she is carrying on alot because she is confused).
> 
> ...


Please don't even think of giving up your studies, Kylie. 

You will come out being a lot stronger for continuing your education. And, look what you already have going for you ... you are in the middle of your *honours degree atm* :clap: 

Continue your education ... and, embrace the support of all who love and care about you ... your Dad, Luna, your friends where you live, and all of us here on SM. :wub: :grouphug: 

And, I promise you, your future will be brighter than you could ever imagine it is right now. :Sunny Smile: 

:sLo_grouphug3:


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I know this hurts so much but take it from an 'ole-gal'.. one day you WILL look back and be amazed that you were so devestated! When I was about your age there was a guy that I was just soooo in love with. We had dated since we were in our teens though did have some 'breaks'. I was soooooooooo positive he was "the one". Well things took a turn.. He found someone else.. and in fact, along the way after our break,,, MANY someone elses as it turns out. He WAS a nice guy but full commitment wasn't one of his better qualities .
Of course it was very heartbreaking to me at the time... but I got over it. Now many many years later I know it wasn't meant to be and in fact would have been a disaster! During my mid twenties even "I" changed a lot... just something about maturing... being out in the world etc... and realized he and I wouldn't have been a good match. I 'grew' ...he didn't.. and we'd not have lasted. I think since we started dating so young.. I was comfortable with him... it was more 'habit' than a relationship that had true sustinence.

PLEASE do NOT give up your studies... you'll regret that more than this break up down the road. 

Meanwhile be good to yourself...and as others said surround yourself with good friends .


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## Luna'sMom (Oct 7, 2007)

Just a quick update:

I am still very upset and confused - and missing him very much. I still cant believe this has happened but I am trying to take one day at a time and distract myself with other things. 

Luna is settling better into my parents house - she loves the extra company and the garden. 

I didn't quit my degree but I decided to go part-time and take a short break whilst I sort out my living arrangements and emotional state. 

I've decided to focus on losing weight, my uni and Luna. 

He says the reason for breaking up with me is not related to how he feels about me but rather that he needs to grow up and live by himself instead of relying on me to do all the cleaning, laundry etc (which i guess is a good thing) - he doesn't rule out reconciling but doesn't want me to wait... I'm not sure what I will do. 

My parents are letting me live back with them, in their spare bedroom (since my brother moved into my room 3 years ago) - we are clearing it of all their stuff and getting furniture for me. At least its distracting. They are being very supportive which is nice - but at the same time the told EVERYONE we know including my family in all areas of the world :smilie_tischkante: and I am getting sick of all the pity hugs/calls saying "you'll get over him fast hes not worth it"

Kylie


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Sending hugs to you and Luna. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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