# Does anyone else find this inappropriate?



## suTQ (Jul 13, 2006)

So, last night I was getting out of the shower, it was 10:05 PM. The phone rang and I heard my husband answer it. I couldn't hear clearly, but I could tell that he was annoyed. He came into the bedroom and told me that one of my son's classmates just called and wanted to talk to him---a girl. (He was already asleep btw, because his bedtime is 8:15.) Anyway, I was really bothered by this because, 1) he is 8 years old, 2) it was after 10PM, and 3) it was a girl. I asked my husband if he spoke to the mother. He said no, but he was going to call her right back. The mom was aware that her 8 y.o. daughter was calling a boy at 10 at night and did not see the problem with it. My husband just said he was not allowed to take calls at night and left it at that. We ended up discussing it for the next half hour. I told my husband that 1) my son is not going to have phone calls with girls until junior high, 2) I am not even going to tell my son about the phone call, and 3) if this girl calls again, the machine will answer it because I don't even want to deal with a mom who shows such poor judgement. I know that I am old school on alot of parenting issues, such as not allowing my kids to call adults by their first name, (not even Miss Jessica or Mrs. Nancy---it is Miss, Mrs. or Mr. and the LAST name), I just find it disrespectful. But, I was really shocked and bothered by all of this and wondered if we were the only ones who found this behavior inappropriate. I would never encourage my 8 y.o. daughter to call a boy, especially late at night (what could they possibly have to talk about?). Plus, I don't want my kids to date or get serious about that kind of stuff until they are much older. I want them to focus on being kids, doing well in school, and participating in extracurricular activities. My son still likes to dress up like Spider-man and Anakin Skywalker and have battles with his dad---he's too young for that other stuff! Okay, thanks for letting me vent. Su


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)

> So, last night I was getting out of the shower, it was 10:05 PM. The phone rang and I heard my husband answer it. I couldn't hear clearly, but I could tell that he was annoyed. He came into the bedroom and told me that one of my son's classmates just called and wanted to talk to him---a girl. (He was already asleep btw, because his bedtime is 8:15.) Anyway, I was really bothered by this because, 1) he is 8 years old, 2) it was after 10PM, and 3) it was a girl. I asked my husband if he spoke to the mother. He said no, but he was going to call her right back. The mom was aware that her 8 y.o. daughter was calling a boy at 10 at night and did not see the problem with it. My husband just said he was not allowed to take calls at night and left it at that. We ended up discussing it for the next half hour. I told my husband that 1) my son is not going to have phone calls with girls until junior high, 2) I am not even going to tell my son about the phone call, and 3) if this girl calls again, the machine will answer it because I don't even want to deal with a mom who shows such poor judgement. I know that I am old school on alot of parenting issues, such as not allowing my kids to call adults by their first name, (not even Miss Jessica or Mrs. Nancy---it is Miss, Mrs. or Mr. and the LAST name), I just find it disrespectful. But, I was really shocked and bothered by all of this and wondered if we were the only ones who found this behavior inappropriate. I would never encourage my 8 y.o. daughter to call a boy, especially late at night (what could they possibly have to talk about?). Plus, I don't want my kids to date or get serious about that kind of stuff until they are much older. I want them to focus on being kids, doing well in school, and participating in extracurricular activities. My son still likes to dress up like Spider-man and Anakin Skywalker and have battles with his dad---he's too young for that other stuff! Okay, thanks for letting me vent. Su[/B]



I agree with you, that is WAAAAAAAY too late to be calling the house. I don't like anyone calling before 9am or after 9pm...even my own friends.

We had a little girl call the house late at night once....it was a weekend and she called at almost midnight!!! Like you, we called right back.....and the grandfather answered....apparently he was babysitting and had no idea she snuck onto the phone that late, he apologized and she never did it again.


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## Cosy (Feb 9, 2006)

Although I'm appalled at the lack of phone manners kids have today, I will say it is not the kids' fault.

I blame the parents. They don't care! Children have cell phones too early and stay up too late.

As for Mr. or Mrs. So n So...this rule has become lax in many places including the workplace. You may

have a battle on your hands there.


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

OH gads sounds like one of the parents I have been dealing with as of late.

Welcome to the "new world"? SUCKS!

You are in the right! Stay that way.

Melanie


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## deuce (May 31, 2007)

I am a 5th grade teacher so nothing surprises me







, but you are right to be annoyed/upset. Our girls are maturing so much earlier these days!


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Su, I give your husband very high marks for calling the mother back. Many dads would have left it to the mom and I like to see a dad get involved. And I think 8 years old is WAY too early for these kids to start all of that calling back and forth, especially that late at night.

I have 2 grown daughters. I have mixed emotions about the girls calling boys issues because I didn't want my girls to feel like they had to sit around waiting for a boy to call. On the other hand, I am just old fashioned enough to also not want them to be chasing boys. It wasn't that big of an issue for us. They mostly only talked to girls until high school and then it was pretty equal between boys calling them and them calling the guys. 

Even though I stay up late, late at night....a phone call after about 9:30 is still considered late and I personally wouldn't call one of my friends that late unless it was an emergency. 

I am a very involved parent - I'm trying to give them a little space now that they are both in their 20's. I guess I feel kind of sorry for that little girl, who has a mother who might be way too permissive......


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

At that age, my son had several little friends, boys and girls. I didn't mind girls calling him, they were his friends. As for the time she called, that is way too late.

I'm curious, what do you do if a grown up doesn't want to be called Miss/Mrs/Mr? I, for instance, prefer to be called by my first name. I've known many teachers who also go by their first names.


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

One of my girls is 8 years old and there's no way in heck I'd let her call ANYBODY at 10pm at night, let alone a BOY at her age! No freaking way! Totally inappropriate in my opinion. Not to mention that we are also strict about our kids going to bed early--even during summer vacation (with exceptions, of course).

I know you have to choose your battles, but there's some issues that, to me, there is not going to even be any discussion until they are older for things like that. Of course I would explain why, etc., but then that's it--my rules are my rules.

Lately my 8 ur old daughter has been going into my make-up and trying it on. Now, I know little girls like these kinds of things, and she has play make-up with the glitter and all that that I let her play with on occasion, but this is different...it's like she wants to be older...at first she was lying to me about using it when I'd confront her--um, my lipstick was mashed in the tube and she broke the tip on my (expensive) eyeliner. I don't remember "playing" like, as in being interested, in make-up until I was in 5th grade and it was still a few years after that that I was allowed to wear a tiny bit. I talk to my daughter about self esteem and that what's important is on the inside, etc. I don't know, they just grow up WAAAAAAY too fast these days. It makes me sad







But hopefully, with a lot of guidance, I can help her get there at a steady & appropriate pace and not before her time.

P.S. Kudos to you guys and to your hubby!


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## Chyna's Mommie (Feb 23, 2007)

Ok that time was very inappropriate. My 15 yr doesn't get calls after 9pm so there is no way my 7 yr old would. My 7 year old calls boys & girls in his class, but only during the day & I'm present to hear what is being discussed. They talk about things such as school, whats on tv and what they are doing with thier families on the weekends. The calls only last for about 5 minutes. I don't see anything wrong with that. I feel that if monitored nothing can become of a phone call. 

As far as names is concerned it is always Mr. or Mrs. whether the person likes it or not. I don't care whether its the 1st or last name just as long as they are showing respect. I am forever known as Mrs. DaeJaun's Mom or Mrs. Tatiyana's Mom. My hubby is known as Mrs. Desirai's Husband. Kids can be so cute.


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

If my phone rings past 9 pm I worry and think something has happened to a member of my family or a close friend. I don't even have (skin) kids, but I agree, 10 pm is WAY inappropriate!


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

> If my phone rings past 9 pm I worry and think something has happened to a member of my family or a close friend. I don't even have (skin) kids, but I agree, 10 pm is WAY inappropriate![/B]


That's how I am. When it's late, and the phone rings, I think something terrible has happened


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## saltymalty (Sep 14, 2004)

> So, last night I was getting out of the shower, it was 10:05 PM. The phone rang and I heard my husband answer it. I couldn't hear clearly, but I could tell that he was annoyed. He came into the bedroom and told me that one of my son's classmates just called and wanted to talk to him---a girl. (He was already asleep btw, because his bedtime is 8:15.) Anyway, I was really bothered by this because, 1) he is 8 years old, 2) it was after 10PM, and 3) it was a girl. I asked my husband if he spoke to the mother. He said no, but he was going to call her right back. The mom was aware that her 8 y.o. daughter was calling a boy at 10 at night and did not see the problem with it. My husband just said he was not allowed to take calls at night and left it at that. We ended up discussing it for the next half hour. I told my husband that 1) my son is not going to have phone calls with girls until junior high, 2) I am not even going to tell my son about the phone call, and 3) if this girl calls again, the machine will answer it because I don't even want to deal with a mom who shows such poor judgement. I know that I am old school on alot of parenting issues, such as not allowing my kids to call adults by their first name, (not even Miss Jessica or Mrs. Nancy---it is Miss, Mrs. or Mr. and the LAST name), I just find it disrespectful. But, I was really shocked and bothered by all of this and wondered if we were the only ones who found this behavior inappropriate. I would never encourage my 8 y.o. daughter to call a boy, especially late at night (what could they possibly have to talk about?). Plus, I don't want my kids to date or get serious about that kind of stuff until they are much older. I want them to focus on being kids, doing well in school, and participating in extracurricular activities. My son still likes to dress up like Spider-man and Anakin Skywalker and have battles with his dad---he's too young for that other stuff! Okay, thanks for letting me vent. Su[/B]


I agree and think you are taking the right approach. BTW, my 12 year old son still likes Spider-man and Anakin Skywalker and plays with his Legos. He's more into sports and electronics than he was at 8, but to him, girls that are boy crazy aren't worth his time. He does have a few girls who are buddies, that he can discuss Star Wars or Harry Potter books, movies and games. I don't mind that at all. My almost 14 year old daughter was asked out on her first date a couple of weeks ago, but she "broke up with him" before the date because, according to her, he was just too into himself.














Of course I kept my mouth shut, but am dying to know how you break up with someone you haven't even dated....







As much as I would like to keep them young and innocent, I do know that kids must grow up. I just hope they don't do it too quickly! My oldest will be starting High School in the fall and she's going away this summer for a 4 week program at a college here in NJ. She is so excited to go, and I am getting greyer by the moment.


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

> At that age, my son had several little friends, boys and girls. I didn't mind girls calling him, they were his friends. As for the time she called, that is way too late.
> 
> I'm curious, what do you do if a grown up doesn't want to be called Miss/Mrs/Mr? I, for instance, prefer to be called by my first name. I've known many teachers who also go by their first names.[/B]


i agree, deb. my daughter is 8, boys and girls alike call frequently for her. she has many little friends up and down the road, one being my neighbor's grandson whom is one of her best friends on the block.
i see nothing wrong with that type of association.... 

and yes, i agree that the time she chose to call was late....there are no calls for my children after 7:00pm on school nights....no later than 9 weekends/summer vacation.

and i'm one of those strange people who would be rather called "carrie" than something so formal as "mrs. so-and-so" it's just not me....


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## Sassy&Alyssa (Aug 29, 2006)

I HATE when people call the house or my cell phone past 8:30 PM! I find it too late, unless I am expecting the call. I am assuming this girl is the same age as your son, she should have been in bed!! NOT calling someone. I find it really rude and inappropriate. Those parents sound a bit ridiculious too!


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## HollyHobbie (Apr 12, 2005)

I totally agree with you that 10 is way way to late. I have a six year old and an eight year old. Both boys. They go to bed at 8 on school nights and 8:30 on the weekend and at 9 during the summers because of baseball games and such. So there is no way I would allow them to take a call at that time of the night. 

But I don't have a real problem with a girl calling either of my sons. Actually my six year old has gotten calls from a girl and has called her from time to time. She is his best friend and I see nothing wrong with that. I love it when me and him plan a play date for them and he calls to ask her to come over. I like him to be part of the planning. Growing up all my friends were guys and we had a great time. They were my protectors and best friends so I don't want to sons to grow up thinking that girls have to be for girlfriends only. They can be fun to hand out with also. And I also don't want them thinking that girls will just be sitting around waiting on them either. But thats a whole nother can of worms LOL

But yes I do agree that 10 is to late to call. I would have called the mother also and explained that I would prefer they limit the calls to no later than 7:30. But some parents don't have early bedtimes and totally don't think about the time. My sister doesn't.

I find it very intersted how different peoples parenting can be. Even me and my sister are polar opposites and we were raised just alike. LOL


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## GreenFuzzer (Jun 16, 2007)

<span style="color:#009900">Well my kids are DD 17, and DS 18 so I have already been through this in part. The 'in part' is because they new they couldn't date until they were 16 so that took pressure off them to date as young as some of the other kids. I always reminded them that dating is to start learning what you want in a life partner. I had home schooled my kids for a lot of years so when they did go to public school and started making friends they were already teenagers and had both male and female friends. Though my DD has always been the more social of the two they have booth gotten calls from both males and females as friends. The terrible mommy that I am made them use the phone in the living room.









As for time of night this one is still a big issue for us. Nine pm is our cut off time too for incoming and out going calls but DD and her boyfriend like to push that rule. DD tried to do a late night call to boyfriends cell phone and now she has lost phone privileges. Oh and BTW my kids do not have cell phones. Hubby and I each have those prepaid kind for emergency and if the kids are going someplace we send one of those along with them. We are such meanies. 

Also all of you with the young ones might want to start really considering how you are going to deal with your children's computer usage now while their time on the computer is small. As they get older and have to use it more for school work and wanting to talk to friends how will you deal with it. We are very strict with our kids safety and I know many won't and don't agree with us but from the time we bought our first computer our kids and anyone that comes to our home and uses our computer while here knows that any thing they do on any of our computers we will know about. Every word they type, every site they go to, every person they speak to, or that contacts them, or they contact we have access to the records no matter which computer is used. As all kids do in their teenage years ours started talking privacy issues, we reminded them that they are our computers they do not have to use them. We are not 'sneaky' about this we are up front that this capability is in place if we every feel it is needed. I am very thankful that it is and I know my son is. Approximately six weeks ago while talking to some friends online a female friend got very specific with how she was going to kill another female friend. My son came out and told me I told him he knew what I had to do and he said that is why he told me. With his help as to true identities with user names we were able to get copies of the conversation to the police, school superintendent, principle, and vice-principle. I am very proud of my son.

If things have changed this much since we were kids, what will it be like for our grandkids?







</span>


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=394743
> 
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i agree, I don't want to be called 'Mrs so-and-so', I rather be called Stacy. 

I don't care if girls call my 9 year old son but you can be darn sure I'd have issues if he got a phone call at 10pm. That's just rude, pure and simple, especially if the parents were aware. If I told my son he couldn't get a call from a girl until junior high schoo thoughl, he'd look at me like I was crazy and I would have a hard time explaining WHY. He just wouldn't understand, LOL. He's into Pokemon - girls are ok if they like Pokemon. 

My 8 year old daughter tried to tell me that everyone in her class has a cell phone except for her. Right. No, my daughter isn't melodramatic....


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## Bo-Bo's Mom (Jul 12, 2006)

My husband and I only have Bo as a child but I have 2 newphews and I know my sister would freak if her phone rang that late (she'd think something happened to someone). My next door neighbor's daughter is soooo mature and she's only 11. As you all know by now, I am nocturnal and every night this week when I walked Bo before going up her light was on (3-4 a.m.). My parents would have NEVER aloud me to stay up so late no matter who was sleeping over. My other pet peeve...she can call my hubby and I by our first names, that's fine but her parents also allow how her call MY parents (who are 80 and 81) by their first names. In the day I would have gotten away with that. There just seems to be very little respect to elders anymore. My poor parents were shocked!


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

Oh lord I have 3 sons and I dread the day I get some nutzo father breaking down my door








Boys are hard but girls you need to be so protective of. Yes I think it was late to call and yes 8 is young but maybe she was calling because of school or something







I dont know why I just said that..
Anyway I dont like to be called Miss, Mrs either I feel old







but I do know what you mean I was raised the same way also. My son's teacher who's own son is my sons class (Got that)
I still call Mrs. Drivick







she is like Andrea it's Ellen , Im like I can't call you that. She taught all 3 of my sons and I am so used to calling her Mrs that I feel it's so wrong to call her Ellen, she thinks I'm nuts








If a parent did prefer a first name I wouldn't mind as long as they suggested it.
I'm not a strict parent but I'm not a pushover either. My sons get good grades they respect peple don't judge others and are good boys. We do the best we can and hope when they grow up all that we taught them guides them through life, if that happens with my boys then I know I did a fairly good job..
ANDREA


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## Jacki (Jul 13, 2006)

Aw, I can see why you would be surprised / frustrated / etc. 

If it was my kid (I only have Sprout, no human kids yet) I would be more concerned that the call was after 10pm. When the phone rings that late, I, like a few others have mentioned, think something's wrong!! 

When I was your son's age, my best friend was a boy - and I always had boy friends who were just as close as some of my girl friends. We built snow forts, we played tag, we climbed on the jungle gym, etc. - but we certainly wouldn't talk on the phone that late, and there's nothing wrong with setting a "phone curfew" for your kids. I just hope you won't worry too much that it was a girl!









I can't imagine what I'll ask my children's friends to call me. Good grief, I can't even decide whether to take my husband's name or not and we've been married over a year!


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## Eddie's Mama (Jun 10, 2007)

I agree with the time of call being inappropriate. I don't think it's wrong that it was a girl calling though. They're just kids. They're friends, you're looking it at it from an adult point of view. 

There's nothing wrong with boys and girls being friends, it's possible. They're only 8.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> I agree with the time of call being inappropriate. I don't think it's wrong that it was a girl calling though. They're just kids. They're friends, you're looking it at it from an adult point of view.
> 
> There's nothing wrong with boys and girls being friends, it's possible. They're only 8.[/B]


I agree. I think it's great for kids to have friends of the opposite sex. When I was growing up (in the dark ages) we had a group of a bunch of boys and girls and we were all friends and never really even thought of it as boys vs. girls.


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

> When I was growing up (in the dark ages)[/B]


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

I have a 10 year old son...(well in a month he will be 10)...
He calls and receives calls from girls. Some are friends...some are his "girlfriend" of the month or whatever-
I don't really have a big issue with it. I like him to keep his conversation in the room with me. The conversations are usually innocent and silly...or sometimes they talk while playing webkinz on the computer together. There is a part of me that wants to be stricter, but I do not want to be unreasonable as my parents were. There is no harm being done as of now, and if it gets too bad, I can revoke the privelege.

That being said, the time of the phone call was late. I don't let mine call or receive calls after 8:30 on any night. I have had to have discussions with a few of his friends about repeat calling when nobody answers. Sometimes I am on the phone with my family back home and they call over and over. We have caller ID and an answering machine. They can leave a message the first time...ha...Anyway, I try to keep my cool because phone etiquette is one of those lessons that is hard to teach all the "what ifs"...so mine have learned lots of their rules by mistakes made first.

I came to Tennessee from Oklahoma and was very surprised to find out that kids called their teachers by their first names..."Mrs. First Name"- it took some getting used to. But now my kids call our friends and their friends' parents by that method...Mrs. Carol, Mr. Tim, Mr. Jon, Miss Amanda...etc. It sounds very disrespectful if they don't put the personal title in front of it, even though we are friends etc.

Parenting is hard. Too bad it doesn't come with a book of instructions. I know that I am going to make many bad decisions and just pray that the ramifications are not life altering...ha...(my parents' decisions were)...
In the end, I keep sane by praying and remembering that no matter what decision I have made...with good reason (and sometimes without)...I can CHANGE MY MIND! Ha! 

Good luck...


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

I don't think there's anything wrong with girls/boys calling each other either. Gosh, my best friends throughout school were guys! Then my career was with all guys! Working on a military base the male to female ratio is barely 10:1. It's always been me and the guys, lol. 

But it IS totally inappropriate for that age to be making phone calls at 10pm. Having a 5 yr old and 8 yr old kids and being surrounded by kids that age constantly it's just not the norm. Besides the fact that MOST people don't make calls that late, let alone 8 yr olds who should be in bed. As an aside I've done a lot of research on how much sleep children should be getting at whatever age they are and kids that are my kids age don't get NEARLY enough. I may not be strict about too much, but being in bed at an appropriate time so that they can not just function the next day but succeed in school, etc., is so important. Maybe some parents really loosen the reigns quite a bit during summer vacation...we let ours stay up later, maybe 8:30/9:00pm during the summer. During the school year it's 7:30 for the 5 yr old and 8:00/8:30 for the 8 yr old.


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## Michelle&Roxy (Mar 10, 2006)

Oh gah, I think you did a good thing! I know I was never allowed to have phone calls or make phone calls after at most, 7 pm- the time allowance changed when I was in 8th grade- but not by much.
Plus, if you let things like that slide- he'll end up like my young cousin who's a spoiled brat with no respect for her elders. THAT is when it's a problem. It sounds like you're raising him VERY well- you're right, he should just be a kid right now, there's no need for him to grow up fast.



> Oh gah, I think you did a good thing! I know I was never allowed to have phone calls or make phone calls after at most, 7 pm- the time allowance changed when I was in 8th grade- but not by much.
> Plus, if you let things like that slide- he'll end up like my young cousin who's a spoiled brat with no respect for her elders. THAT is when it's a problem. It sounds like you're raising him VERY well- you're right, he should just be a kid right now, there's no need for him to grow up fast.[/B]


 EDIT: I meant if you let things slide such as late phone calls, being disrespectful to others, cell phone deal- it just makes things go bad. They feel they're more mature- grow too fast- and get bratty onwards. But as for the boy/girl thing- eh, I had friends that were boys... I jsut saw them as friends- but then again, kids have matured way too quick lately so I don't know how things work... gah, I don't look forward to the day I have human kids... having a fur kid is tough enough, haha. Well, I really don't see myself ever having kids due to health reasons AND the fact my young cousin's actions spooked me out of wanting a kid of my own. Sigh.
But yeah, sorry... I re-read my post and it just kinda jumped... leave it to antibiotics with sleepy effects to leave me not making sense, yikes. lol


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

I think that is too late for a child of that age to be calling.

Obviously, the mother is not bothered about it.

I agree - we need to get better manners into kids these days.

I grew up in a country (Australia) that is common to say - "I beg your pardon" - "Pardon Me" -"I'm sorry" or "Excuse Me" if they don't understand or hear something - - - - it's just part of the Queen's English.

My problem is how kids these days say "Whatttttttt ?" if you call them or if they don't understand anything. When I talk about this to people they realise it (especially younger kids) and they start hating the word Whatttttttt or become conscience of it and won't say it ..

I know I am off the track here but it blends in with today's society and kids.

Raising kids is not an easy job, I have three daughters of my own (19, 16 and 10) .. but a parent should be the biggest positive influence a child could have.

And you guys think having bratty Malts is a problem
















Venting .....


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## bek74 (Jun 26, 2006)

I agree that 10pm is way to late and I would have been very cross at that , but really don't see the issue with it being a girl. I have 3 sons and they have girl and boy FRIENDS and that is all they are FRIENDS. When they have birthday parties they invite BOTH sexes and I like that, I like that they have friends of both genders, I think it teaches them alot, about how to relate to the opposite sex.

My boys can ring and can take calls in the afternoon but no later than 7pm on school nights and 8pm on weekends. As to what they talk about, well usually it is just rubbish, I sit and laugh and think how funny they are.
Maybe some parents should keep their minds out of the gutter and just look at it as two friends, it shouldn't matter the gender of the caller. Now if they are teenages maybe then it is a little different, but 8yrs ROFLOL.
My boys are 10yrs, 9yrs and nearly 7yrs and that is the last thing they would EVER think of.

JMO


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

Ok-I don't even call MY friends that late! That is way too young to be calling so late. The sad thing is that too many parents want to be friends and not parents-good for you for sticking to your guns!


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

> Ok-I don't even call MY friends that late! That is way too young to be calling so late. The sad thing is that too many parents want to be friends and not parents-good for you for sticking to your guns!
> 
> 
> 
> ...

















Exactly!! Your their parent till there 25 to 30, 
then you can start being their friend....
ANDREA


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## BILLIE (Mar 26, 2007)

It is soooo hard being a Good parent!
My kids have cell phones so I
can get in touch w/them. 
One day some boy sent my 18yr old daughter
a ring tone that sent my blood boiling!
I called him back and he was very rude to me.
I went Off!
He is not allowed to call, or be around her.
If he shows up someplace where she is at she has to leave.
His parents think it's funny!?
It is called Respect.


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## suTQ (Jul 13, 2006)

Thanks for all of the thoughtful and heartfelt replies. It is not like I am new to all of this. I have a degree in Psychology and I was a child behavioral specialist for 8 years before I became a mom. I taught dozens of parenting classes and ran therapy sessions with children and families. I have never had any behavior problems with my own kids. I know that I am on the strict side of parenting and that I believe in good old fashioned values---I have seen too many times the family trauma that comes from over indulgence, over permissiveness, and parents trying to be "friends" instead of parents. I really think that if the call had come in the middle of the afternoon, I would not have reacted so strongly to it. Although I still firmly believe that my son does not need to be talking to girls at this age. We can agree to disagree on that one. We live in a world that is on the social decline. My daughter is almost 6 and I have to buy shorts and jeans in the boys department for her because the girls clothes (even for toddlers) is inappropriate for children---skirts and shorts cut super short and jeans cut way too low. Our children are exposed to too much too young these days. I am so grateful that my kids still have no idea who Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan are! Once their innocence is gone, it is gone forever, and I am going to fight for my kids innocence for as long as I possibly can. Thanks for letting me vent again, Su


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## ohhmyyitsLEA (Jun 19, 2007)

> So, last night I was getting out of the shower, it was 10:05 PM. The phone rang and I heard my husband answer it. I couldn't hear clearly, but I could tell that he was annoyed. He came into the bedroom and told me that one of my son's classmates just called and wanted to talk to him---a girl. (He was already asleep btw, because his bedtime is 8:15.) Anyway, I was really bothered by this because, 1) he is 8 years old, 2) it was after 10PM, and 3) it was a girl. I asked my husband if he spoke to the mother. He said no, but he was going to call her right back. The mom was aware that her 8 y.o. daughter was calling a boy at 10 at night and did not see the problem with it. My husband just said he was not allowed to take calls at night and left it at that. We ended up discussing it for the next half hour. I told my husband that 1) my son is not going to have phone calls with girls until junior high, 2) I am not even going to tell my son about the phone call, and 3) if this girl calls again, the machine will answer it because I don't even want to deal with a mom who shows such poor judgement. I know that I am old school on alot of parenting issues, such as not allowing my kids to call adults by their first name, (not even Miss Jessica or Mrs. Nancy---it is Miss, Mrs. or Mr. and the LAST name), I just find it disrespectful. But, I was really shocked and bothered by all of this and wondered if we were the only ones who found this behavior inappropriate. I would never encourage my 8 y.o. daughter to call a boy, especially late at night (what could they possibly have to talk about?). Plus, I don't want my kids to date or get serious about that kind of stuff until they are much older. I want them to focus on being kids, doing well in school, and participating in extracurricular activities. My son still likes to dress up like Spider-man and Anakin Skywalker and have battles with his dad---he's too young for that other stuff! Okay, thanks for letting me vent. Su[/B]


This is just my opinion, but I thought it might help because I'm not a parent, I'm still very much a kid.

I don't see any problem with two eight year olds chatting. I had plenty of guy friends when I was younger. There was no reason my parents should have ever been worried. I even had a few who I thought were "cute" but that doesn't mean I was sexually interested in anyone until a much MUCH later age. I didn't even understand the concept of dating. I just thought I "liked" someone if they were nice to me. Boys still had cooties. And it's especially true for boys. They seem to mature so much slower than females. They still want to play video games and trick-or-treat and wrestle with their guy friends and stuff.

The only problem I see is the girl calling so late. I'm sure if you let her know it was too late to call and that she should call at an earlier time she would have done so. Maybe she had just got a new cell phone or something. They're getting them younger and younger. Anyway, there's no way you can prevent him from talking to girls, and I'm sure they interact at school, so why not over the phone? What bad can come from a phone call?

This is strictly just my opinion, though. I'm not a parent, so I don't think like one, but I thought a post from someone who is still growing up might be helpful.

Best wishes. =]


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

> Thanks for all of the thoughtful and heartfelt replies. It is not like I am new to all of this. I have a degree in Psychology and I was a child behavioral specialist for 8 years before I became a mom. I taught dozens of parenting classes and ran therapy sessions with children and families. I have never had any behavior problems with my own kids. I know that I am on the strict side of parenting and that I believe in good old fashioned values---I have seen too many times the family trauma that comes from over indulgence, over permissiveness, and parents trying to be "friends" instead of parents. I really think that if the call had come in the middle of the afternoon, I would not have reacted so strongly to it. Although I still firmly believe that my son does not need to be talking to girls at this age. We can agree to disagree on that one. We live in a world that is on the social decline. My daughter is almost 6 and I have to buy shorts and jeans in the boys department for her because the girls clothes (even for toddlers) is inappropriate for children---skirts and shorts cut super short and jeans cut way too low. Our children are exposed to too much too young these days. I am so grateful that my kids still have no idea who Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan are! Once their innocence is gone, it is gone forever, and I am going to fight for my kids innocence for as long as I possibly can. Thanks for letting me vent again, Su[/B]


Just a head's up--I'm always searching for good quality, age-appropriate clothes for my girls ages 5 & 8. Children's Place is an excellent place for that. One other favorite is Old Navy--trendy, but not sleezy. LLBean and Lands End also have adorable clothes for girls. The more I think of it, the more I'm coming up with...if you can afford it Kids Gap, Gymboree have cute things too. Hannah Anderson has adorable girlie clothes as well, pricy, but their sales are good.

My little one get all her sister's hand-me-downs so I don't mind buying good quality because it will last through two kids--at least for now until the little one has her own sense of style someday and won't wear hand me downs!


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## suTQ (Jul 13, 2006)

Just a head's up--I'm always searching for good quality, age-appropriate clothes for my girls ages 5 & 8. Children's Place is an excellent place for that. One other favorite is Old Navy--trendy, but not sleezy. LLBean and Lands End also have adorable clothes for girls. The more I think of it, the more I'm coming up with...if you can afford it Kids Gap, Gymboree have cute things too. Hannah Anderson has adorable girlie clothes as well, pricy, but their sales are good.

My little one get all her sister's hand-me-downs so I don't mind buying good quality because it will last through two kids--at least for now until the little one has her own sense of style someday and won't wear hand me downs!
[/QUOTE]

Thank you camfan. I actually love the Children's Place. I like the tops at Gap and Old Navy, but the jeans and pants are a little low cut--when she squats or bends over, they show half way down her undies, also, I find their regular shorts too short, but the bermudas are great. I really appreciate you wanting to help out another mom though, Su


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## bek74 (Jun 26, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=394717
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I agree, I really can't see any harm in a phone call between two 8yr old children. The time of the phone call is what I disagree with.
I am a mother of 3 sons and I teach them good values and respect for themselves and others, etc etc.
Having an older brother, I used to get along well with the boys at school and I had plenty of male friends, My mother who is VERY STRICT and religous didn't even see the harm in it. We were simply children.


Children are Children regardless of their Gender, let them be kids...... JMO


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

I will have to say that I haven't read through this posting in its' entirety, but I do want to share my opinion. Kids are not allowed to remain kids for as long as you could before. I do not think that at this age it really matters whether they are calling boys or girls. As long as the conversations are being monitored and there is an open line of communication with my child, I am doing the best that I can with what I have to deal with. The time of this call I do find disheartening, but I also somewhat understand (not for children, but for myself). I have trouble remembering things and if I don't make the call then I often forget what I needed to tell whomever.
We are not living in the world that you and I grew up in. I was given rules to follow as a child, but I was also given alot more freedom than I can give my children. I was able to go up in the mountains and play all day as long as I came home on time. I would not ever allow my children to do the things that I did, so I believe that we do have to find things that they can do now. A phone call is one of the least of my concerns, personally. Kids do not have the same amount of time to socialize at school as I had. Kids do not have the same naivity as I had. Kids are not able to be kept from alot of the inappropriate things that I was able to be kept from. Unfortunately, I do believe that we are going to have to change with the times. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be rules, I am a strong advocate of having rules. They just can't be the same as what we grew up with.
I hope this makes some kind of sense....lol


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## samsonsmom (May 4, 2005)

Totally agree. My youngest son, now grown, had a girlfriend who used to call him at any hour she could not sleep (anywhere between 2 and 5 a.m.) and she would get incensed because I would not call him to the phone. She would keep calling hoping to wear me down. Didn't dare leave it off the hook with a chronically ill mother and the other 3 boys out there somewhere. We finally solved the problem by giving everybody who MIGHT have an emergency call Doggie Daddy's cell number to call at night and began leaving the land-line off the hook at 10:00 p.m. Worked well for us. Didn't take her too long to really get the message and leave us the heck alone. 

Samsonsmom


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

> Just a head's up--I'm always searching for good quality, age-appropriate clothes for my girls ages 5 & 8. Children's Place is an excellent place for that. One other favorite is Old Navy--trendy, but not sleezy. LLBean and Lands End also have adorable clothes for girls. The more I think of it, the more I'm coming up with...if you can afford it Kids Gap, Gymboree have cute things too. Hannah Anderson has adorable girlie clothes as well, pricy, but their sales are good.
> 
> My little one get all her sister's hand-me-downs so I don't mind buying good quality because it will last through two kids--at least for now until the little one has her own sense of style someday and won't wear hand me downs!


Thank you camfan. I actually love the Children's Place. I like the tops at Gap and Old Navy, but the jeans and pants are a little low cut--when she squats or bends over, they show half way down her undies, also, I find their regular shorts too short, but the bermudas are great. I really appreciate you wanting to help out another mom though, Su
[/QUOTE]

Oh I totally agree about the too-short shorts. When I saw the Old Navy commercials on TV with the models prancing around in the super short shorts I thought oh god, what NORMAL woman could actually wear those and get away with it? lol. And even if I could I don't think I would anyway. I don't mind the low rise jeans on my daughter--she is so twiggy she looks like one of the Olsen twins, lol. And I do feed her







As long as she's wearing a top that covers her pants, I'm ok with it. I have learned that MANY adult women should not be wearing those pants, lol. It's downright frightening to see them bending over and getting full-view butt-crack and to see jelly rolls hanging over the sides.


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