# Could use a little help & support



## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

Life has made some hard turns for my family and I recently! As many of you are aware, my recent medical issues have played havoc on me. Prior commitments are becoming harder and harder to keep. My husbands responsibilities at work are changing and increasing dramatically. But at least he still has his job, and that health insurance. As of January 9, I met our yearly deductible!!! What we would do without it, I don't know.
I am still in school, doing a distance learning program (on-line through Liberty Univ.) and. I am finally beginning to see light at the end of that tunnel. Hubby is almost through this round and will be getting his masters in business in May as long as nothing else major occurs. Although, I learned this evening that he is requesting information on programs to obtain his phD.
As our issues have grown, the time and energy left for our pups has declined. And, as again many of you recall, I have been having several issues with trying to take care of my hubby's pups (Dafney & Casey) along with everything else. As Casey is still such a pup, and so energetic, he is not at his optimum happiness with our current arrangements. We have had such a span of intense cold temperatures that we have had to keep him in our garage. We have been keeping Dafney with him, and I had two x-pens connected together that gave the two almost half the garage. Even with that room, it obviously wasn't enough for him. He figured out how to climb out. He also figured out how to chew everything within his reach, which was most everything in the garage. 
Dafney is having trouble dealing with everything right now. And I know that this is just terribly unfair to both of them. I have been trying to convince my hubby of this for some time. And then that last straw dropped on Friday.
My brother called last Tuesday, after many, many, many attempts to persuade me to go to Tennessee without any luck, to once again try to convince me. At that point, I knew something was up. After some conversation, I told him I knew him better than he thought and I wanted to know what else was up. His reason had been that they were having a suprise 50th bday party for his girlfriend. He admitted that he was going to propose!!! I told him that I wouldn't have missed it for anything else in the world.
In preparation, I made boarding arrangements. I knew (hubby knew too) that Casey and Dafney would have to be bathed before I would be able to take them in the car to the kennel. But, he sure didn't bother to help with it. So, Friday morning before I began packing for everyone, I began with giving the two their baths. I had my daughter at home with me. I brought them upstairs (pups), closed my bedroom door, and my bathroom door. I was pleased with their behavior in the tub, and was getting them out. After a towel dry, I open my bathroom door to begin the next steps. To my surprise, my daughter is on the bed, with my door wide open. Casey & Dafney see their opportunity and seize it. After I finally get them back to the bedroom, I am getting the brushes and dryer ready. Casey begins to use the bathroom (pee and poo) before I realize what he is doing. Casey isn't little and neither is his poo. As I am trying to clean it up, I get sick. Vomitting and cleaning, then I find that Dafney has also used the bathroom. 
I called hubby and told him I could not do it all any more. Something had to change. We agreed to discuss it on the trip down (7 hours each way).
We have make the very difficult choice to find new homes for Dafney and Casey. They are as much of our family as are Frosty and Manning, but they are also the most energetic and require more exercise than I can physically give them at this time. We have explained to our children what is beginning to happen, and gave them time to ask questions. This is such a difficult time!
Please don't give me the lectures that I am sure some of you would like to. Please understand that this is one of the most difficult choices I have had to make. But, I feel like we are not being responsible pet owners by keeping them when we cannot give them everything that they need and deserve.
I live in Hurricane, WV (which is halfway between Charleston and Huntington) and would love to be able to place either pup in a home of someone I know or someone I know knows. I want them to have a good home with time and attention and everything that I want to give them that I can't physically give them. If any of you know of anyone who fits that description, please pm me.
Again, please don't lecture or give me criticism over this. I have to make this difficult decision to do what is best for them. I have already had them fixed, microchipped, all up-to-date on shots, heartguard and frontline treated. They are loved!!!!! I only wish things weren't they way they are right now.


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

You sure won't get a lecture from me. I truly respect anyone who has the wisdom to realize that a situation with a pet isn't working and the courage to rehome it to a happier situation. 

Both Dafney and Casey are purebreds, aren't they? How about contacting a breed rescue for help in placing them? Good rescue groups are so very careful about where their dogs go I'm sure you could trust them to find wonderful homes for them.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but I think you made a wise decision.


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## samuelette (Apr 9, 2006)

Angie what a sad decision you and your family have had to make, but it is the decision any loving responsible pet owner would make, I hope and pray you will find their new homes as quickley as possible as this must so hard for you.


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Angie, I'm really sorry that you are having to make such a difficult decision. I really hope that you have good luck finding wonderful homes for the two pooches. Do the two pups play together? Maybe they can be rehomed together. I wish you the very best in finding them a new home.


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## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

*I'm so sorry. I can't think of anything else to say.*


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## Gregswife (Mar 6, 2006)

Angie, no lecture here either. I commend you on doing what is best for the dogs. Having Fibromyalgia, I understand how hard it is to keep up with everything and as my kids are grown, I do not have the added stress of raising a family, as you do. I know this was a hard decision for you and I am sure you will get nothing but support here. I wish you well in finding the perfect home for Dafney and Casey.


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

> You sure won't get a lecture from me. I truly respect anyone who has the wisdom to realize that a situation with a pet isn't working and the courage to rehome it to a happier situation.
> 
> Both Dafney and Casey are purebreds, aren't they? How about contacting a breed rescue for help in placing them? Good rescue groups are so very careful about where their dogs go I'm sure you could trust them to find wonderful homes for them.
> 
> I'm sorry you are going through this, but I think you made a wise decision.[/B]


Yes, both Dafney & Casey are both purebreeds. They both have AKC papers, although we did not go ahead and register either of them. Dafney is a long-haired dachschund, and Casey is a Brittany. I do need to find a breed rescue, the only thing with that is we have told our children (the human ones) that we would all go together to meet the family and decide together whether they would be a good match for our babies.

And, Thank you for the understanding and support. As we were trying to explain to our 3 children, we can't think of ourselves. We MUST think of Dafney and Casey.




> Angie, I'm really sorry that you are having to make such a difficult decision. I really hope that you have good luck finding wonderful homes for the two pooches. Do the two pups play together? Maybe they can be rehomed together. I wish you the very best in finding them a new home.[/B]


Susan,
I have thought of trying to place them together, but I am not sure that would be the best thing for Dafney. They do play together, but I am afraid that Dafney needs more attention than would be possible having them both together and Casey still being such a puppy.


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## Carla (Aug 30, 2005)

You won't get a lecture from me either. I agree with everyone that you are making a difficult but wise decision. Not everyone can put their pet's needs before themselves. Thank you for loving Casey and Dafney enough to do what is best for them. You are a remarkable person.

Carla & Shotzi


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

> You won't get a lecture from me either. I agree with everyone that you are making a difficult but wise decision. Not everyone can put their pet's needs before themselves. Thank you for loving Casey and Dafney enough to do what is best for them. You are a remarkable person.
> 
> Carla & Shotzi[/B]


Thank you for the compliment. But, at the moment, I am sure not feeling like a remarkable person. I am feeling like I have failed both Dafney and Casey. I do however feel that even though it isn't easy, it is what is in the best interest of them both.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

A reputable rescue will be their best shot at their forever home. Make sure you do some research on the rescue. You, and your family, can drop them off at the foster's home. Leave the rest to them. This is what they do.

Thoughts are with you


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this! You will recieve no lectures from me, only praise for your willingness to put your dogs happiness and needs ahead of anything else. You said they are your husband's dogs - and that coupled with their higher maintainence, well, honestly? I'm surprised you haven't come to this point sooner. And I mean no disrespect to your husband or your marriage, I just know that personally if my husband had a dog that was like having extra children as far as work and exasperation/frustration levels went, I'd be in the same boat you are. How are Frosty and Manning doing? 

Another way to look at is you might be doing somebody a tremendous favor. Somebody who wants a purebred Britanny or doxie sooooooo bad (like we want our malts) but wants to open their home up to a rescue instead because they feel it's the right thing to do. Then here come your dogs and there is no real sob story there, there is no heartbreak, no abuse, no major issues to work out - they are just energic dogs who are better suited to a different lifestyle. You might make a brittany person or a doxie person very happy! Ok so this may be a compltely wrong about this but the way I feel is that if it's just so much work that is sucks the enjoyment out of it, you need to look at other options. 

Honestly? Don't know how you do it. I was exhausted reading your post before I got to the part about your dog dilema.


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## KathleensMaltese (Sep 5, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=342807
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Angie, things have a way of working themselves out. Once the furkids are in their new homes after the initial adjustment that ALL pets go through they are going to be just fine. No one can judge whats best for the pets. No one but you. It is all going to work out you'll see.........
Sometimes things just seem to work out in a way that benefits everyone


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## bek74 (Jun 26, 2006)

May I ask why???? I understand from your post that you are away alot and don't have time to devote to the pups and would much rather see them in a home that can give them the love and attention. Yet you will still have YOUR two malt babies in the home. I am a bit a confused, If you are home and stable enough to give your malt babies love and attention ( Malts take far more time with grooming) then why not Your husbands Two pups.
This must be so hard on your husband. I am not lecturing you, just a little confused. I couldn't give my husbands pups away yet keep my own, I would feel terrible and selfish, thats me, not a judgement of you, I haven't walked a day in your shoes, although I do have 3 young children and 3 small furbabies and understand the work involved.
I wish you all the best and hope those two babies find a loving home, a forever home.


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

It sounds like things are headed in the right direction for you--it must be so difficult, though, and I'm so sorry you are having to go through with this. I was curious, too, as to how you chose who would have to leave the home--just curious, not judgemental. 

When things are going relatively smoothly I can handle my busy life pretty well. I can handle lots of stuff in our schedules w/ two small kids and a hubby that works full time and goes to school full time. Personally, I think the only thing I can't handle is consecutive nights of no sleep (1 or 2 nights is ok, but any more and I'm ready to lose it). So basically I can handle things as long as my health allows--when that is compromised, it's nearly impossible and I get SO frustrated. So I can understand your dilemma of not being able to hold things up when you are not well (although I don't recall your specific illnesses...)--it must be exhausting. You have my sympathies and I hope that everything will work out for you guys and that in the end you can feel confident about your decisions.


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your problems. I'm sure it was a difficult decision to make. I hope your health improves & that everything works out well for Dafney & Casey. Us women very often end up having to take the full responsibility of the care of the home, children & pets & with studies & jobs, I would imagine it would be very difficult to maintain even if you hadn't been ill. Wishing you the best.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Sounds like you're a little over whelmed at the moment. Too much to handle - I can relate - it happens.









Sounds to me like you're doing the responsible thing - as long as everyone agrees. If they don't - then they need to step up and take over the care responsibilities.









You do what you gotta do to take care of YOU! Especially if you are the one taking care of everything!!!

Ok - I'm done.


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)




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## Kissi's Mom (Apr 21, 2006)

You will certainly get no criticism from me...I have been struggling with the same decision. I hope your health concerns improve. You are doing what you think is best for your family right now and are making a huge sacrifice in the process, this certainly does not sound like a snap decision. I wish you luck in placing your pups and I pray your health will be restored.

Linda

p.s. you might mention to your vet that you are looking of good homes for your little ones...


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

I'll be praying that you find loving homes for your doggies. A lady from church was going through a stressful time at home. She had just gotten re-married and added a husband and another child to her small home. She had an energetic Golden Retriever who is a Marley type dog. She was looking for a home for the Golden Retriever. I had always wanted a Golden Retriever so I have Sadie now. Sadie is such a fun dog and such a blessing to us. Just get the word out to your family and friends - I'm sure you'll find homes that you feel comfortable with.



Joy


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## Cary (Jun 11, 2006)

Best wishes in finding new homes for your two family members.
I pray your personal challenges can receive additional focus
and healing when the extra responsibilities in your life have
quieted a bit.


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## my baby (Aug 22, 2006)

Takes alot of courage to do what you have decided to do. And it sounds like you have given it alot of thought. I am sure you will find them a forever home quite easily as you dogd are soo cute!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> Yes, both Dafney & Casey are both purebreeds. They both have AKC papers, although we did not go ahead and register either of them. Dafney is a long-haired dachschund, and Casey is a Brittany. I do need to find a breed rescue, the only thing with that is we have told our children (the human ones) that we would all go together to meet the family and decide together whether they would be a good match for our babies.
> 
> And, Thank you for the understanding and support. As we were trying to explain to our 3 children, we can't think of ourselves. We MUST think of Dafney and Casey.[/B]


I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through but think you made the difficult and wise decision to re-home them. 

I do strongly feel that a rescue organization is much better equipped to find them a good home than are you and your children. Because it is only your first time doing this and they would have been doing it a long time, they know the subtle cues to look for when interviewing. They likely have applications to be filled out, systems in place for checking references and qualified foster homes for them. 

Best wishes to you and your family.


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

Life happens. It is obviously a hard choice to make, but I agree- if you can't give them what they need, then a new home is the only choice to make. It kills me when I see people hang on to a pet that they can't provide for. 

I wish you all the luck in finding them new homes. I know that you will make sure they are going to the right people. Good luck!


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## cruisinpat (Jan 29, 2007)

I believe that you have made a very unselfish decision. I'm sure it was a difficult one but your babies will be okay if you find good homes for them. Good luck with your search for good homes for your babies.


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## paris (Apr 8, 2005)




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## maltsmom (Feb 10, 2005)

No lectures here. I respect your decision to do what is right for the pups and also what is right for you. No one but you can decide what you should do and we all can clearly see that the best interests of the dogs and your sanity is at stake. I wish I could help with the placement but I am from Pittsburgh and really don't know anyone to help you. I am sure that someone on this site can. Take care and know that you are doing the right thing.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

Here are a couple of rescues, who may be able to help, or lead you in the right direction: 

http://www.drna.org/whoweare.asp

http://www.nbran.org/index.htm


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

I hope no one is going to lecture you! You need to make a decision that works for you.







Sorry to hear things are rough right now. I hope things begin to look up for you.


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## Furbaby's Mommie (Jul 10, 2004)

Bless your heart Angie. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to do what you need to do. I'm a fellow Fibro sufferer and can't imagine doing all that you do. Those that aren't, simply have no idea. I've had to eliminate a lot of treasured activities from my life as well as a lot of 'tasks' that I no longer can do.

For those that don't know and care to ask, Fibromyalgia isn't something temporary. You don't get over it, you learn to cope and try to stay as 'normal' as possible. 

You aren't 'getting rid of your *husband's* dogs'! You are eliminating the highest maintenace ones. Many of us Fibro's have Maltese or other comforting companion dogs. Having 4 or 5 pets (especially the highly active large ones) and children in the house makes your life a hectic one. That's the first thing we must do, eliminate the "hectic" from our lives if we are going to cope with Fibro.

I hope you find a good rescue or friends or family who can take your 2 little guys and that you'll be able to feel good about their new homes.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

> Bless your heart Angie. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to do what you need to do. I'm a fellow Fibro sufferer and can't imagine doing all that you do. Those that aren't, simply have no idea. I've had to eliminate a lot of treasured activities from my life as well as a lot of 'tasks' that I no longer can do.
> 
> For those that don't know and care to ask, Fibromyalgia isn't something temporary. You don't get over it, you learn to cope and try to stay as 'normal' as possible.
> 
> ...


Very well said. I've been doing alot of research on Fibromyalgia lately. And you're absolutely right, changes do need to be made in order to cope, and make life as normal as possible


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## Jacki (Jul 13, 2006)

Angie, bless your heart. This has got to be hard on you and your family.







I am so sorry that you're having to make this decision, but I think you are wise to realize what needs to be done. There are new forever homes waiting for those pups, I know it.









The Fibro sufferers I know have had to make many changes in their lives to cope, and you have every right to make the changes that are necessary, even though it is hard. I wish you the best of luck finding new homes for your dogs.


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

Finding a loving home for pets you cannot manage is the kindest thing you can do . Sarah


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## Lily (Feb 13, 2007)

I'm sorry you have to do this. All I have to say is that you made a smart decision, especially considering how tough this must have been. I wish you the best of luck in finding great homes.


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## izzysmom (Nov 6, 2005)

I commend you on making this difficult decision, and ultimately for acting in your dogs' best interests. You are doing the RIGHT thing. Incidentally, I second the opinion of many other posters in that you should go through a reputable breed rescue.


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

> May I ask why???? I understand from your post that you are away alot and don't have time to devote to the pups and would much rather see them in a home that can give them the love and attention. Yet you will still have YOUR two malt babies in the home. I am a bit a confused, If you are home and stable enough to give your malt babies love and attention ( Malts take far more time with grooming) then why not Your husbands Two pups.
> This must be so hard on your husband. I am not lecturing you, just a little confused. I couldn't give my husbands pups away yet keep my own, I would feel terrible and selfish, thats me, not a judgement of you, I haven't walked a day in your shoes, although I do have 3 young children and 3 small furbabies and understand the work involved.
> I wish you all the best and hope those two babies find a loving home, a forever home.[/B]


I will first begin by letting you know that I am taking no offense. I understand from the outside looking in, this is an awfully confusing situation. I hope that I can provide you some answers to your questions. 
I am torn by this horrid decision. The entire situation is extremely difficult. My malt babies are indoors, almost completely trained to use pee pads (so no trips outside), small (6 lbs and 5lbs), are in puppy cuts, and require minimal grooming ( I am very lucky there). They are happy to play with each other and the cat, and then snuggle with us when we are sitting doing all our other work.
The two malts are small enough to travel with us (even in a Prius with 3 kids)!
This is not about MY dogs versus my HUSBANDS dogs. It is merely the way things are. The brittany is still an extremely active puppy who needs VASTS amount of attention and exercise. With my medical issues, those are two things that I can't adequately provide. The dox also requires a VAST amount of attention, and needs more exercise than I can provide although not to the extent of the brittany.
I hope this helps you understand a little better.



> Bless your heart Angie. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to do what you need to do. I'm a fellow Fibro sufferer and can't imagine doing all that you do. Those that aren't, simply have no idea. I've had to eliminate a lot of treasured activities from my life as well as a lot of 'tasks' that I no longer can do.
> 
> For those that don't know and care to ask, Fibromyalgia isn't something temporary. You don't get over it, you learn to cope and try to stay as 'normal' as possible.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for helping explain parts of this decision! It is so difficult, and anyone I have talked to about this (and this has been a LONG time coming) I have ended up ending the conversation because I always begin crying. EVERYTHING is difficult! I am just trying to be the best pet parent I can possibly be.


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## hambys97 (Feb 25, 2005)

I must admit that I continually go back and forth in my mind as to whether or not I am making the right choice. But I also have to remember that it is not MY choice. This is a family decision that my husband and I have been going over for a lengthy time. This is also a decision that we discussed at length with our children who as much as they love Dafney and Casey, they aren't willing to step up and do more, nor give up any of their extra curricular activities.
Fibro, Hoshimotos, Polycystic ovarian syndrome, an enlarged thyroid, carpal tunnel syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome with constipation, arthritis, nerve impairment: This is just to name a FEW of the medical conditions that I am currently dealing with. I do this while taking care of my three skin kids (8, 6, and 4), their activities, my full-time school schedule, pto treasurer, part-time job, and full-time home. There is also Kitty and beta fish in the home. One person can only do so much at their optimum health. I am NOWHERE near optimum health. I require alot of rest. I am limited on physical activity, although I am hoping to get closer to a normal amount with my current physical therapy treatment. I have undergone many tests and procedures in an attempt to get back to "normal"! 
I have been posting at this forum for a long time. More posts at times than others, but I have always felt that this board is more than a discussion board. This group of members is an extended family that understand the love that comes with our furbabies. And also understands alot of other issues that occur within our lives. That is the reason that I came here for support. 
My husband has agreed that he can not assit any more than, in actuality probably less than ever! We are trying to do the best thing for everyone in our family (which includes ALL of our pets!).


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

i agree with what others have said, i feel you are making the right decision. 

having more than you can handle isn't fun for anyone....especially for someone with health issues.


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## bellasmommy (May 8, 2005)

I have also had to re-home a loving treasured pet before and I'm sorry you're having to go through this. As another poster said, "life happens" and we just have to do the best we can with what we have. I know it will be hard for you, but I respect your decision as well.


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## Gemma (Jan 19, 2006)

just want to give you a little hug


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## Tallulah's Mom (Jan 8, 2007)

Whatever you think is right for you and your family is the best decision. You don't need guilt heaped upon you, (we all heap enough guilt upon ourselves!), only you know what your situation is and what you are able to handle. Good luck in whatever decision you make.


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## thelittlepet (Apr 18, 2006)

Hugs and hope for you. I understand that Fibro in and of itself is more than a small challenge. Kudos to you for recognizing your limits. 
Aimee


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Certainly no lecture here either, I know all about not feeling well and trying to cope with everything and it does become very overwhelming if there is an overload of responsibility. I admire you for your very difficult choice and for having the courage to do what is best for you under the circumstances









I wish you the very best of luck with finding the perfect home for both your pooches


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## my baby (Aug 22, 2006)

I can just about cope with one furbaby and two skin kids!!! I am amazed you have coped, with so much on your plate and your health issues, for so long.
Please dont feel bad, you are definitly making the right decision. And I am sure there is a loving home just around the corner for your two furbabies!


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## Boom Boom's Mom (Jul 27, 2004)

If you can tell me a bit about the doxy, my mil is sort of looking for a pup. They live in Wheeling, and we'll be there in two weeks...


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