# What's your best marital advice?



## garrettsmom (May 15, 2006)

My 25 yr old niece is having her bridal shower this Sunday. Although she's not crazy about "shower games", my sister thought it'd be fun if all the guests were asked to write down their best marital advice and then have my niece read them to the crowd.

Anybody have any good suggestions they'd like to share?


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## lillykins (Oct 15, 2007)

always treat your spouse like the cherished prize he is.

examples:
- always say "please" and "thank you"
- if you get up to get something, ask if he needs/wants something, too
- if you're making a meal for yourself, ask if he'd like to join you
- never disparage or embarass your beloved in front of others... EVER
- if he disparages or embarasses you in front of others, talk to him about it in private
- when you make a mistake, admit it and sincerely ask for forgiveness
- when you find out he's human, forgive him then let it go... FOREVER
- don't keep secrets from each other
- don't share secrets from your marriage with other people
- brag lovingly to others about your spouse when he's with you, and even when he's not

above all else, honor your spouse. say "I love you" every day and MEAN IT.


I wish for everyone the happiness I have found with my beloved. we've been married 25+ years. He is the most amazing man I have ever known.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

QUOTE (Lillykins @ Apr 1 2009, 03:10 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755094


> always treat your spouse like the cherished prize he is.
> 
> examples:
> - always say "please" and "thank you"
> ...



Becky this is so beautiful...it made me smile, and brought happy tears to my eyes....such wonderful good advice....just perfect.


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## suzanne (Nov 23, 2004)

don't get married. 


you'll never take each other for granted.


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## beckinwolf (Sep 2, 2008)

Be honest with each other. Once you start hiding things, it gets so hard to stop all the drama from unfolding, and you just end up digging a bigger hole. Also, try to communicate. Tell him what you want or need. He can't read your mind. And ask him the same things.


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## Hunter's Mom (Dec 8, 2008)

I was planning on doing this very same thing for my best friend's bridal shower next month!!! 

My advise to her is going to be "Never forget to schedule a date night every month - everyone needs a little something in their relationship to look foward to."

When I got married I was told 

1. don't ever go to be angry, upset or dissapointed - talk it over first
2. don't assume - ask
3. find something you both don't know how to do and learn it together (most examples were sports like golf and tennis but it could be even tiling a floor!)
4. recognize that his family will want to be there for holidays too - try to bring your families together for some celebrations
5. hard times will happen - its ok to struggle or fight; nobody is perfect


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

I always tell Nick that I love him everytime he leaves for work/
Not really advice, just something we do :biggrin:


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## tamizami (May 1, 2007)

Don't sweat the small stuff.


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## Deborah (Jan 8, 2006)

The advise Lillykins gave was perfect.
Before you get married talk about your financial situation. Have a plan in place and know what each partner is bring in to the marriage be it money or debt. Do you like to spend money does your spouse like to save money. Money is one of the top reasons people get divorced. You both need to be on the same page.

If you have children make sure that any decisions made you will both agree on and support the other person.
I can still remember when I was a kid we got in big trouble if we asked one parent for something and the answer was no. Then we would try to see if the other parent would say yes.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

Along, with what everyone else said:

1. LAUGH together.
2. Always make time for just the two of YOU.. (much more difficult when the kids come along.. but find the time.
3. COMPROMISE!! 
4. COMMUNICATION- no one reads each others minds. no matter how much you think you know each other.. if you aren't communicating those needs, desires, issues.. how do you really expect each other to know what's going on in your heads. Be open to communication - even when one of you is saying something that other doesn't want to hear. 

If you communicate - making compromises are much easier. If you communicate you will continue to grow with each other - so many people look back on their relationships and say - we'll we just grew a part - it's because they stopped communicating.


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## Furbaby's Mommie (Jul 10, 2004)

train 'em the way ya' want 'em, cause retraining is not goin'a happen.


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

Go into it knowing you are making a real lifelong commitment. Then no matter what happens, you'll work it out, not run away the minute trouble hits.


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

QUOTE (Lillykins @ Apr 1 2009, 03:10 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755094


> always treat your spouse like the cherished prize he is.
> 
> examples:
> - always say "please" and "thank you"
> ...


I love this!!!! What wonderful advice!! I love my hubby sooooooo much..and I feel *soo lucky* to have married him, every single day!!


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## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

QUOTE (Lillykins @ Apr 1 2009, 03:10 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755094


> always treat your spouse like the cherished prize he is.
> 
> examples:
> - always say "please" and "thank you"
> ...



These are so true. I also want to add one more. *DONT GO TO BED ANGRY!* No matter how upset he makes you always find it in your heart to bite your lip and give him a kiss good night with a sincere I Love you. 

One more thing is that it is ok to be silly. My husband and I are very silly lol. Sometimes we will chase each other around the house like children, lol and when we catch the other we tickle each other and wrestle.


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

QUOTE (SicilianRose @ Apr 1 2009, 04:35 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755152


> These are so true. I also want to add one more. *DONT GO TO BED ANGRY!* No matter how upset he makes you always find it in your heart to bite your lip and give him a kiss good night with a sincere I Love you.
> 
> One more thing is that it is ok to be silly. My husband and I are very silly lol. Sometimes we will chase each other around the house like children, lol and when we catch the other we tickle each other and wrestle. [/B]



OMG, Debbie, i SOO agree w/ you..do NOT go to bed angry!! Cant believe I forgot about that. It is soo important...
I think you and your DH are really cute, :wub: It is always small things like this that keeps the relationship passionate!


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## drclee (Jul 16, 2008)

Love your husband for who he IS, not who you WANT him to be.


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## elizabeth (Oct 31, 2008)

"DON'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"


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## domino_angel (Apr 17, 2008)

Keep the TV out of the bedroom... that room should be for sleeping and intimate times only! Trust me on this. I let that Idiot box in there and now I can't get rid of it!

And my biggest one: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?? AKA Don't let petty arguments drive a wedge between you-- you don't have to be right about everything. This is also sort of the same as "Don't sweat the small stuff" but I like it my way better. B)


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## garrettsmom (May 15, 2006)

Thanks everyone for such great advice!!! I'll definitely use some of the suggestions for my niece :biggrin: 


QUOTE (domino_angel @ Apr 1 2009, 04:59 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755161


> Keep the TV out of the bedroom... that room should be for sleeping and intimate times only! Trust me on this. I let that Idiot box in there and now I can't get rid of it!
> 
> And my biggest one: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?? AKA Don't let petty arguments drive a wedge between you-- you don't have to be right about everything. This is also sort of the same as "Don't sweat the small stuff" but I like it my way better. B)[/B]



I like the above, do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?? I asked DH that one time and he replied... "I don't get it, can't I be BOTH?!" Grrrrghhhhhhhh :smpullhair:


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## ndth (Jan 5, 2009)

QUOTE (domino_angel @ Apr 1 2009, 03:59 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755161


> Keep the TV out of the bedroom... that room should be for sleeping and intimate times only! Trust me on this. I let that Idiot box in there and now I can't get rid of it!
> 
> And my biggest one: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?? AKA Don't let petty arguments drive a wedge between you-- you don't have to be right about everything. This is also sort of the same as "Don't sweat the small stuff" but I like it my way better. B)[/B]


Aw I really like this question..that is so true with the petty arguments...I just recently got married and some of the advices here are super great...but in my opinion...sometimes it's ok to go to bed angry...just gotta sleep on it overnight so you can clear your head...

However, do promise each other to always be in bed together when you go to sleep...even when you're angry or not...don't let the couch be an option...Congrats to your niece...


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## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

QUOTE (Elizabeth @ Apr 1 2009, 03:52 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755158


> "DON'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"[/B]



That is probably my favorite but I also like to say always be honest w/each other & agree on your finances. I've always heard that when poverty comes to the door, love flies out the window.


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## Hunter's Mom (Dec 8, 2008)

oh and the most important thing - when he says "I want a dog, we're getting a dog" run out and get a maltese and join SM


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## diamonds mommy (Feb 2, 2009)

QUOTE (godiva goddess @ Apr 1 2009, 03:23 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755147


> QUOTE (Lillykins @ Apr 1 2009, 03:10 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755094





> always treat your spouse like the cherished prize he is.
> 
> examples:
> - always say "please" and "thank you"
> ...


I love this!!!! What wonderful advice!! I love my hubby sooooooo much..and I feel *soo lucky* to have married him, every single day!!
[/B][/QUOTE]




Totally agree!!! And keep Sex alive :biggrin: !!!! And hold off on kids so you can ENJOY each other for some time!


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (Elizabeth @ Apr 1 2009, 04:52 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755158


> "DON'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"[/B]


I love that, Elizabeth. Beautiful and true.

Also, I suggest doing something special every once in a while ... like cutting out 101 little paper hearts ... and, writing a reason on each heart ... why you love your spouse. And, then put the hearts in a special little box and present it to your beloved. I did this several years ago ... and, my husband still cherishes this gift. It's better than a Hallmark ... because you alone write how you feel about your loved one. And, yes ... you can come up with 101 reasons why you love your spouse! :heart: 

And, tell your spouse how much you appreciate all they do ... even if it is something you consider not a big deal. It can be a big deal to your spouse.


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## Cupcake2007 (Jan 22, 2008)

compromise on closet space.  lol

if there is a fluff involved, dont let the fluff take his place on the bed... he will not be to happy 


DONT STOP DOING THE THINGS YOU ARE DOING NOW!


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## CandicePK (Nov 11, 2004)

After almost 22 years I think my strongest advice would be - if you can talk to each other you can get through anything. My aunt who had been married for 50 years before my uncle died gave me this advice and after all these years I believe she was right.


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

QUOTE (Elizabeth @ Apr 1 2009, 04:52 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755158


> "DON'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"[/B]


Good one Elizabeth!!!!

I think all this advice is wonderful! A fun piece of advice....make date night at least once or twice a month! Get dressed up together and go out! Don't get into the habit of sitting home every weekend, in sweatpants on the couch! Keep it fun!


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

QUOTE (mom2Bijou @ Apr 2 2009, 09:52 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755689


> QUOTE (Elizabeth @ Apr 1 2009, 04:52 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755158





> "DON'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"[/B]


Good one Elizabeth!!!!

I think all this advice is wonderful! A fun piece of advice....make date night at least once or twice a month! Get dressed up together and go out! Don't get into the habit of sitting home every weekend, in sweatpants on the couch! Keep it fun!
[/B][/QUOTE]
Great point Tammy!
We got out every Saturday for dinner in the city and we love it, but we couldn't do this cause we had the kids(I never left them with a babysitter) now that they are bigger, we really are enjoying our time together. :wub: 
I think thats a really good outlet for couples :biggrin: (Plus sometimes we get drunk so then it's even better :wavetowel2: ( I' m only kidding!! ):HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley:


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

QUOTE (I Found Nemo @ Apr 2 2009, 10:01 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755698


> QUOTE (mom2Bijou @ Apr 2 2009, 09:52 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755689





> QUOTE (Elizabeth @ Apr 1 2009, 04:52 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755158





> "DON'T MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN LIVE WITH, MARRY SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT"[/B]


Good one Elizabeth!!!!

I think all this advice is wonderful! A fun piece of advice....make date night at least once or twice a month! Get dressed up together and go out! Don't get into the habit of sitting home every weekend, in sweatpants on the couch! Keep it fun!
[/B][/QUOTE]
Great point Tammy!
We got out every Saturday for dinner in the city and we love it, but we couldn't do this cause we had the kids(I never left them with a babysitter) now that they are bigger, we really are enjoying our time together. :wub: 
I think thats a really good outlet for couples :biggrin: (Plus sometimes we get drunk so then it's even better :wavetowel2: ( I' m only kidding!! ):HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley:
[/B][/QUOTE]
That's what I'm talking about Andrea LOL! :HistericalSmiley: Hey....even if you have kids (which I don't) but if you can't go out then after the little ones go to bed....get dressed up and share a bottle of wine together at home!


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## llf060787 (Nov 19, 2007)

After 20 years I would say "pick and choose your battles". Not much bothers me and I'm pretty flexible and accomodating :exploding: but my husband knows that when I put my foot down...I MEAN BUSINESS!


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## HollyHobbie (Apr 12, 2005)

Read The FIve Langues of Love TOGETHER and discuss it. 

It changed my marriage. I am lucky and have always had a pretty good marrige but after that book it became a great marriage. I only wish I had of read it during the first year instead of the 12th year. lol


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

QUOTE (I Found Nemo @ Apr 2 2009, 10:01 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=755698


> Great point Tammy!
> We got out every Saturday for dinner in the city and we love it, but we couldn't do this cause we had the kids(I never left them with a babysitter) now that they are bigger, we really are enjoying our time together. :wub:
> I think thats a really good outlet for couples :biggrin*: (Plus sometimes we get drunk so then it's even better *:wavetowel2: ( I' m only kidding!! ):HistericalSmiley: :HistericalSmiley:[/B]


YEA!! WOO HOO! :happy: :two thumbs up: :happy dance:


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## thefab5 (Feb 1, 2007)

My advice is:

Be careful of what you say because you can never take it back!


my favorite advice.....


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

LOVE all of these and totally agree with all!! (Been married for 12 myself...)
I'd say dont' take yourselves too seriously! Laugh a lot...life is short!


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