# Separation Anxiety?



## littleames23

Has anyone had issues with separation anxiety and their Maltese? Buddy (14-month-old male) started peeing on the carpet and the vet told me that it could be separation anxiety. When I told him that Buddy follows me all over the house, the vet expressed great concern that this was not normal. It seems to me, however, that Maltese are just true companions and it is normal for them to want to be near people. Anyone else experience anything like this? Thank you very much!


----------



## Furbabies mom

Mine follow me everywhere also, and all the fluffs that I've had in the past. I don't think this is abnormal. Mine do not have separation anxiety, but I have three so they have each other while I'm gone.


----------



## Bishop

My two day old Molly, whines when I leave the room! I am hoping it is just a stage...good luck with the peeing on the carpet, do you have yours pee pad trained or does he go outside?


----------



## lynda

I have four and where ever I go it is like a little parade behind me. They follow me in any and every room I am in and I love it.


----------



## Snowbody

Can't even go to the bathroom without Tyler coming around to check on me. :blink: He follows me everywhere. I worked on leaving him and giving him the code sentence "Mommy will be back soon." He then goes to his bed and doesn't make a peep and doesn't charge towards the door.


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi

littleames23 said:


> Has anyone had issues with separation anxiety and their Maltese? Buddy (14-month-old male) started peeing on the carpet and the vet told me that it could be separation anxiety. When I told him that Buddy follows me all over the house, the vet expressed great concern that this was not normal. It seems to me, however, that Maltese are just true companions and it is normal for them to want to be near people. Anyone else experience anything like this? Thank you very much!


Amy, yes, we had experienced severe separation anxiety issues with our Snowball. He has come such a long, long way ... and, I think if there is a true blue emergency where he would have to be left alone for a little while ... he would be okay now.

My advice is to try and find a reputable vet/ behaviorist. We did for Snowball ... and that is the best thing that has happened for all of us. 

A reputable vet/behaviorist will work with your vet to rule out any physical causes that could be contributing to the problem. This means certain lab tests, etc. should be done. There could be other reasons why Buddy is peeing on the carpet other than separation anxiety.

If Buddy is diagnosed with separation anxiety ... then, one has to understand that it takes a lot of baby steps, patience, and love to help your fluff baby feel more secure. And, what works for one dog ... may not work for another. 

Snowball cannot be confined in a crate ... due to a huge mistake we made in hiring the wrong dog trainers the first time around. When left alone in the crate, as instructed by the trainers ... for just an hour, we came home to a puppy that was soaked head to toe from panic. So, thus we hired a professional and well known behaviorist in this area. We then discovered that Snowball's previous trainers make the situation worse with his separation anxiety.

Snowball does best by being allowed anywhere in our home. It has helped make him feel more secure. Other dogs might do better with smaller spaces if left alone.

I just want to stress that if Buddy truly has separation anxiety ... then seek the help of a professional. The doctor/behaviorist who helped us spent time in our home for six hours ... yes, six hours for one visit. That gave her ample time to observe Snowball both physically and emotionally. Believe me, it was worth it.

I know all of us here on SM mean well with our advice. But, I think when it comes to separation anxiety issues ... it't very important to work directly with someone who knows your dog on a more personal basis. Sadly, every once in a while, there are dogs that can never be left alone ... to the point that they can severely injure or kill themselves. But, on the otherhand ... most dogs, I think can be helped to feel more secure if need be alone for a little while.


----------



## brendaman

It's difficult to provide advice without more of Buddy's history. It's true that you may need to consult a behaviorist and here's a info link with resource links to finding one in your area. I'm not sure if you want or should start with looking also or fist at pet trainers through Association of Pet Dog Trainers - Dog Training Resources. They also do home evaluations. 

As others have said, most Maltese attach themselves to you. When I was first researching Maltese, I was told that they attach themselves to one person. Our beloved Shayna was like my shadow, but she was also attached to my husband. When he left the room, she would bark at him, as if to say, "where do you think you're going." 

When Shayna was still a puppy, we did "I'm leaving the house; I'll be back" exercises. At first, I would leave for short periods. Every time I would leave I would say, "I'm leaving the house; I'll be back" and give him a treat. The very first time I did it, I left for a couple of minutes and then I just increased it 5, 10 minutes building up to an hour and more. Sometimes, I'd give her the treat(s) in a Kong toy. She really loved that. When I would return, even after several hours, she would greet me with the Kong in her mouth! I would even tell her where I was going, so she learned that when I was going to the gym or the drug store that it would be a certain length of time.


----------



## jessbuggy

My dog used to follow me to the bathroom as well. Whenever I go out, he would chew up my belongings.

He would know he did something bad whenever I got home, so he would go under the bed. Whenever he did this I would ignore him for a few hours. 

Your dog will slowly grow out of the habit if you firmly communicate to him that it is wrong and that it makes you upset. It's also extremely important to give plenty of self-esteem training so that they can be on their own. 

Cheers


----------



## doobie mommy

Doobie follows me everywhere and I love always having him near me, he is just very curious. I am so used to it now and if he is not following me I go look for him, so actually it is who is following who :blush:


----------



## Piccolina

I tell my pupps:

"I have to go but I'll give you a treat ok?" And I give them a treat. A treat that they only get when I leave the house and which they love the most.

Find out what's the treat that your fluff likes the most and give it only when you leave the house.

Give it and let him concentrate on the treat and leave RIGHT A WAY!

This way he concentrates on the treat and not on you leaving him....

Also leave the TV on (and the lights on if necessary).....and keep repeating: "I'll be right back, I'll be right back...."



*


----------



## Oliver's Momma

I too have a little one that follows me everywhere. Its worst when I we are somewhere other then home. And he also likes to pee on the carpet. I have him pad trained but he still seems to get that fire in him when I leave and he shows it by peeing and almost always pooping on my floor. I too tried the crate and came home an hour later to him covered in his waste - it was a very ugly situation. He has since come a long way with only getting treats while in his crate he will sometimes nap on his own in their and seems to be picking up to it more and more but I don't dare close him in it. I realize now that I probably made it a lot worse by forcing him into it along with confining him in a bathroom when he was rescued at 5 months. 

He is the type that does best with having the house to roam but that leaves him with my carpet to use to go potty. I will be moving at the end of the week and am praying that some more attention on my part with him and a new setting will try to break him more of using my floor and not his pads. Its very frustrating however my vet said that as far as seperation anxiety goes, some accidents on the floor are minor compared to some people losing furnature and wood work because they are so upset to be left...


----------



## wkomorow

People have strange ideas of what is normal. OF COURSE it is normal for you companion to follow you everywhere. Dogs are social animals, they want to be with their humans. Maltese have been breed to emphasize this companionship instinct. I get worried when Lucky is not right next to me or with someone else in the house - I know he is getting into trouble. Unfortunately, there are practicalities of human life that cause us to be away from our companions. Keeping your friend from getting anxious during those moments is important to their mental health and welfare. It is true that it will take time, but training them using treats can be helpful. Lucky does not get seperation anxiety when I leave, but my Tibetan Terrier did. I would find him interesting toys, he could play with. I would leave the TV on. And I would put a soft cushion with my T-shirt in the kitchen and leave, come back in and if he were calm, give him a treat. Gradually, I would increase my time outside the door, always treating him when I returned. In time he grew less anxious.


----------



## Ladysmom

This is a great little book about dealing with separation anxiety. Bailey went into a panic if I wasn't in his sight for even five minutes when he was a puppy. I was close to consulting a trainer until I bought this book.

Amazon.com: I'll be Home Soon: How to Prevent and Treat Separation Anxiety. (9781891767050): Patricia B. McConnell Ph.D.: Books

Bailey still follows me everywhere, but he no longer has a meltdown when I leave the house, take a shower, etc. It's normal for Maltese to want to be with you all the time.


----------



## Rocks

Why would I want a dog that didn't want to be with me? Sure Louie gets a little upset when I go out without him but like other I just tell him in a calm voice that I'll be back and he seems to understand. He has never torn up anything nor has he had an accident in the house. I know he waits for me to come back and he knows exactly which window he'll see me in first and then meets me at the door happy to see me. I also have two cats and I think he sees them just chillin' out and he relaxes too. I also notice that he likes to lay on clothes I have worn so I leave a shirt laying around and I think having my scent on it comforts him.


----------



## jedoublefy

Our 5 month old JJ always wants to be near someone, but it's not necessary for him all the time. When he first got here a month ago he was crying and always wanted to be near someone, but now he can go night night and potty on his own without having to be necessarily near us. Of course whenever someone walks through the door he goes absolutely crazy in excitement lol, but I'm pretty sure all Maltese are like that^^ Anyways, you train him well enough and keep being repetative, he'll eventually learn^^


----------



## Maidto2Maltese

My Naddie ( a rescue) came to me with severe separation anxiety. She went into panic attack mode when we... now not 'we'...ME left her. In understanding SA it helps to understand this condition is a true phobia... not just that they are 'lonely' for you. They feel very insecure and almost to where they feel their life/well-being is in jepordy if that certain person they have 'bonded' to disappears. 
When I left but hubby stayed with her..it didn't make any difference... still was in panic , he said, and nothing he did would appease her. She felt she NEEDED ...ME! 
When I got Naddie she couldn't even cope with me being in another room if door separated us. I worked on that by leaving with a constant phrase "Mommy gotta go.. mommy come right back.. Mommy give you a treat"..(in a very low matter of fact tone.) and I'd gve treat, ( treat helps to have them associate the departure as a positive thing) leave, shut the door... but back in seconds BEFORE she got herself too worked up... 
I progressed to doing this with the door to leaving the house. Same thinghrase, treat and leave.
HOWEVER at first I made the BIG mistake of making a fuss upon return! I'd have that happy high tone voice telling her what a good girl she was etc.the second I walked in the door and her right there. Upon researching how to deal with SA... it was suggested when returning, to walk in, ignore, walk past , for a few seconds to a few minutes. not a real long time ..just not to 'fuss' immediately.
The 'theory' is that you want to get back to the "why' of their problem and the goal is to instill a sense of self-security. You don't want to reinforce that your going/coming is any big deal.... you want them to take it as a matter of fact thing that they can feel 'secure' about. Once I just walk past...( not even eye contact) for a short bit..THEN acknowledged..but keeping my talking very low, and calm... it made a huge difference!!!
In the beginning Naddie also had potty-issues , and crate phobia so I did have to confine her to my office. It is not unusual for a SA pooch to 'lose control'... even if usually trained when you are at home. You mustn't scold .. they can't help it. Naddie totally destroyed the moldings at the door, the door itself and dug the finish off the hardwood floor at the base of the door. She was panicked! She pooped, peed. 
Once we got her training under our belt...we allowed her run of the house. I put a chair she could get up on to see out the LR window to the front and she had the sliding glass door to see out the back. Being less confined ( even though a decent size toom) .. but more of her' own- control' of her space helped a lot.
At first she still had accidents BUT she went to some newspapers hubby had left on the floor by his chair. Eventually, she had learned to go to basement to papers . ( She has good long, sturdy legs so no problem!!.. if it was Quincy.. we'd have to have left papers on main floor. )She wouldn't use pee pad, and assumed one of the places she had been previously used newspapers. 
It didn't happen overnight by any means but today my little girl is very self-assured/secure pooch that my leaving isn't a big deal and I will return and in the meantime she's "OK". Oh I still hear her give a little yelp as I walk away from the door.. but that's it. Hubby says shes as quiet and contented as we could ask for when he can observe her when I leave. A far cry from those early days. 
Now when I'm home Naddie does indeed usually follow me all over... wants to be near me. Thats' pretty normal: Mommy's home, I want to be with her! BIG DIFFERENCE now is she copes just fine when Mommy isn't home!


----------

