# Here we go again



## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

First, I would like to say that I was not in chat when the uglyliness happened, but got a good "blow by blow" in several phone calls and emails afterwards.

Joe has provided such a nice place for all of us to meet with our friends, yet, I fear that this will be taken away because of the horrible behavior. There are a number of us who do enjoy chat, and we talk about a wide variety of silly things there. We may joke with each other, but we certainly don't call other members "retarded" and talk about how ugly they think other members are, much less their dog. One highly thought of member was called a "moron", and many were told to "shut up". We have been doing chat for months without incidence, yet within the past few weeks, we have had an intense infiltration of hate that is now threatening this forum. All of this has come about with new membership to our beloved forum. 

Joe has been so good to all of us. He is always willing to listen and hear both sides of any issue. I feel today that we all need to be praying for him as he has to deal with this.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

Well, I am soooo out of the loop here ~ LOL

I have noticed a few "unjustified" snippy remarks, within the forum, but that can be expected from time to time.


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## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

I'm sorry this is happening. This is a wonderful forum, and I really enjoy the comradary that goes on here. I'd hate it so much if a few were to be the cause of it being taken away.


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

i've been there when off the wall comments were made, not this particular incident... but that's one of the main reasons i don't frequent the chat room. i hear tho, that the chat room data is collected and stored. if so, bravo. there should be some sort of way things like that can be sorted out.


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## Furbaby's Mommie (Jul 10, 2004)

Since I have never used "chat", I don't know who does. That being said, it seems to me to be a separated _thing_ from the board here, to me an unnecessary thing. If it is causing problem, get rid of it.


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Oh gee, I am sorry there are some who wish to spoil things for those who enjoy our wonderful site








I don't go into chat much at all so I have no idea what is happening, but I sure hope what ever it is stops and the chat and the forum can remain open for all who participate and enjoy the friendships they have developed


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## Jacki (Jul 13, 2006)

> Since I have never used "chat", I don't know who does. That being said, it seems to me to be a separated _thing_ from the board here, to me an unnecessary thing. If it is causing problem, get rid of it.[/B]


I hope it will not have to be gotten rid of, because it's a great tool when used properly. There are a number of us who visit it frequently and become better friends through it -- and anyone is always welcome to join in the fun!!! But I'm sad to hear that it got out of hand the other night. I've been "out" for a little while with some family issues and I hope when I am able to return to chat, it won't be gone because people couldn't use it right!


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

I don't even think about chat....I just forget. I don't think I'll be inclined to try it out if there are problems. I would suggest that if an incident occurs in chat, everyone just leave. Guess the offenders will get the hint...


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## Andrea&Luci (Jul 30, 2006)

I really never went on the chat room, but I do think that we are all mature adults in this forum, and when people start making offensive and stupid comments to our family of members (which I really do feel like we are all one big white furball-lovin' family!) it takes the fun of what this forum really is, and creates pure unnecessary tension!!! i really hope things get sorted out!


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## saltymalty (Sep 14, 2004)

Faye, I am so sorry you are having some problems. I hope this all gets resolved. I hate to see a few bad apples spoil it.


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

> I don't even think about chat....I just forget. I don't think I'll be inclined to try it out if there are problems. I would suggest that if an incident occurs in chat, everyone just leave. Guess the offenders will get the hint...[/B]



That is basically what can and is being done in our case. There are other alternatives such as Yahoo Chat and Paltalk. This way, the forum is not inovlved in any way.


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## nikkivong (Aug 25, 2006)

oh no, so live chat is being taken away? I know that thru live chat, i've gotten to know a few members better, I'm just sad that it's going away....


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

> Faye, I am so sorry you are having some problems. I hope this all gets resolved. I hate to see a few bad apples spoil it.[/B]



Oh, none of this that went on last night was aimed at me. But, I do have friends who were involved, and know how things like this can cause problems for the whole forum.


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## theboyz (Jan 10, 2007)

Wow, we don't do chat because we can't type fast enough!!!!!!









We consider ourselves "new" and know that there are lots of wonderful, knowledgeable, "newbies".
Don't let a few bad apples ruin the batch but keep in mind everyone has a different opinion and that too has to be respected ( without 5th grade mentality and language and we hope the offender appologizes! ).
I'm sure Joe can e mail the person and resolve this quickly and quietly.

Any Fourm is always going to get new members and that's GOOD. Unfortunately, there will always be a few that are rude so we leave it up to Joe ( behind the scenes ) to straighten things out.

We love this Forum and all the friends we have made.
Thanks to all of you for welcoming us and our Boyz.


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)

Wow, thats too bad.

I don't go to chat either....because I just don't have the time.


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## cruisinpat (Jan 29, 2007)

Sorry that there's a problem in chat. I go in there very seldom and mostly just listen to what's happening. If those causing a problem are ignored they will proably go away. Hope things straighten out soon.................Pat


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## mwend (Dec 27, 2005)

I LOVE chat and I LOVE this site and it would be really nice if everyone could just get along









We do have a lot of silly fun in chat and say a lot of off the wall goofy things but I never ever take anything personlly and consider the people who are regularly in chat to be my friends. I would HATE to lose my friends!!!!! 

I have no idea what went on the other night - I was not there but I wanted to say we need to use it as it was intended or we WILL LOSE IT!!!

Thank you Joe for this wonderful place to talk about our fur babies, our lives and make new friends!!!


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I don't use the chat either. I tried it a few times in my newby days, but didn't really feel like a part of the conversations.It was a bit like being in a room full of people all talking at the same time & not being able to join in. It's too bad though about things getting bad on chat, I know a lot of members do enjoy it. I don't have a clue what happened or who said what, but I'm not inclined to try the chat again, if that's what's going on.Poor Joe, I don't think he needs the stress.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

I was in chat last night and honestly? I have no idea what to say. Like everything, there are two sides to every story. I think everybody who was involved when it got so heated was in the wrong, in some way. I saved portions of the chat transcripts because words were being flung so fast, I couldn't keep up, and I saved it to go back and read later, and see what it was I missed. Having done that, I still don't have a clue what really happened, LOL!








It wasn't a pretty display, by any stretch of the imagination.


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

ok, somebody PM me and tell me what happened. I hardly go on chat anymore because I get interrupted too much during the day and at night I'm too tired to really be myself or feel like typing too much sometimes.

I'm really sorry about what happened!! I'd like to think that adults would conduct themselves better than that. 

And I think Joe is amazing and it goes without saying how much you all have done for me...

So were they calling ME the retarted moron?? I'm paranoid.....


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

Wow-you must be paranoid Pam! I'd hope nobody would say that about you







If it means anything-you're not what that person said!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

I pretty much never go in chat. I did notice last night that there were several people listed on the main page as being in chat. And I actually almost went in. I'm glad I didn't. 

Perhaps there needs to be "Chat Rules" and that way everyone knows up front what sort of behavior is expected of them in chat. Maybe before the chat session opens for the participant, the rules would display and it would say something like, "Entering chat affirms that you have accepted these rules." Such as:

No profanity
No disparaging remarks about members 
No disparaging remarks about members' pets

These are just examples of the type of rules that may be necessary to protect people from themselves! 

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

> ok, somebody PM me and tell me what happened. I hardly go on chat anymore because I get interrupted too much during the day and at night I'm too tired to really be myself or feel like typing too much sometimes.
> 
> I'm really sorry about what happened!! I'd like to think that adults would conduct themselves better than that.
> 
> ...


 Hahaha! Nope, not you, <strike>unless you've been accused of being a puppy mill lately. </strike> 

Now me, on the other hand, am a moron and I fully embrace my inner moron.


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=366688
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> 
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> ...


I'm told another word that was used is BROKER, which by definition (I just googled) is:

In commerce, a broker is a party that mediates between a buyer and a seller.

But, I believe it was the person who was being confronted with this (definition fits) who was the one calling other members names such as retarded and moron.


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## precious paws (Jun 7, 2006)

> First, I would like to say that I was not in chat when the uglyliness happened, but got a good "blow by blow" in several phone calls and emails afterwards.
> 
> Joe has provided such a nice place for all of us to meet with our friends, yet, I fear that this will be taken away because of the horrible behavior. There are a number of us who do enjoy chat, and we talk about a wide variety of silly things there. We may joke with each other, but we certainly don't call other members "retarded" and talk about how ugly they think other members are, much less their dog. One highly thought of member was called a "moron", and many were told to "shut up". We have been doing chat for months without incidence, yet within the past few weeks, we have had an intense infiltration of hate that is now threatening this forum. All of this has come about with new membership to our beloved forum.
> 
> Joe has been so good to all of us. He is always willing to listen and hear both sides of any issue. I feel today that we all need to be praying for him as he has to deal with this.[/B]



Its a shame that people can't get along and have to resort to name calling. I have never been into chat, because I don't have one of the fancy memberships.

I have to add, I find it highly inappropriate to call people "retarded". Someone that is retarded has a dissability. When people call other people retarded its like making fun of people who have a real dissabilies and that is just not nice. Now and then I have seen posts where people describe something in their picture as being retarded, such as their malts hair or something. (I can't remember exactly) This to me seems not nice as well. What if someone reading that has a retarded child. They may be offended and I don't blame them.


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## CathyB (Mar 10, 2007)

Well,I am a admitted moron







I can't get the chat do-dad to work at all





















That is a shame but it seems it would be easy to correct. Joe should go in and get the back posts, he should be able to pull any PM's and all the post that are slanderous and reprimand that person/persons.. I don't know if any of you know but I am the mother to 8 children







2 biological and 6 adopted 5 children are still at home so I hear bickering all the time. I try to teach my children to agree to disagree. Oh and don't tattle unless someone is bleeding.







So far that has worked for our family, we have a very well balanced home .I give my full permission for Joe to cross post any thing I have written including PM's I am here to learn about the breed I love, and to soak up any little extra tips that will help me in the show ring. I would hate to see this forum done away with because some adults can not treat others as they would like to be treated. To you Joe, I pray for strength, your job is a very tough one, I would not want to be in your position.


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=366569
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I agree, it's rude and hurtful for people WITH disabilities to use it in that manner!


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

actually....having a learning disability myself (dyslexia), i do not find the word "retarded" offensive as most _uneducated_ people use the term to describe a person with a disability...most times to only be hurtful...so....yes, the people who tend to use that word regarding people with a disability are morons...lol..

*re·tard 1 (rĭ-tärd') Pronunciation Key 
v. re·tard·ed, re·tard·ing, re·tards 

v. tr. 
To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede. *

so....by definition....i'm retarded in more than one way...lol....









ok...so what i mean is, the use of the word in a harmless manner is not offensive to me, or most people with a disability. so....proceed with the retardedness....


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=366708
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> 
> 
> ...



I believe I have used the term "hair retarded" to describe my utter lack of being able to do good hair (on myself or my dogs), and for that I apologize if I have offended anybody. It was not my intentions to mock anybody, except myself.


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## Cosy (Feb 9, 2006)

I have an adopted son with many learning disabilities and I can tell you the term "retarded" is not only antiquated but shows a lack of human understanding in my opinion. Joking about oneself is one thing. Calling another that name is quite something else. 

I was supposedly the moron last night and I'm the first to admit I've had my moments but this isn't one of them.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

WOW!!! Posters are actually in "SM's Chat Room" calling other posters, of this forum, Morons and Retards????

Do they not know it will come out in the end?? How weird to say such things.
















Brit, if it makes you feel any better, I've been called worse


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

What a shame. This is one reason a lot of forums don't have chatrooms. And some who have one, have a moderator present and the chatroom is only open when there is a moderator. You would expect such behaviour from teenagers that don't know better but certainly not from responsible adults.


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## bellasmommy (May 8, 2005)

I've only been to chat once, and luckily for me it was a very pleasant experience. I was having a craptastic day (bad day) and a few members had me laughing in no time. I don't chat often, so if it were closed to save the forum, then so be it. However, I hope the actual forum is always here. I need the pictures, grooming directions, etc. on a day to day basis...but when I'm really scared about surgery for one of the girls, or the latest scare, the pet food recall, there is no other group of people I trust more or lean on more than the people here at SM for the latest news.


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## CathyB (Mar 10, 2007)

> I have an adopted son with many learning disabilities and I can tell you the term "retarded" is not only antiquated but shows a lack of human understanding in my opinion. Joking about oneself is one thing. Calling another that name is quite something else.
> 
> I was supposedly the moron last night and I'm the first to admit I've had my moments but this isn't one of them.[/B]


3 of our adopted children are from mild to moderately disabled so I do not like the word retarded either. CuteCosyNToy I just want you to know that I truly enjoy your posts and value your opinion greatly. I take notations on all the tips you offer to others thank you so much.. 
Cathy


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

> You would expect such behaviour from teenagers that don't know better but certainly not from responsible adults.[/B]


exactly, this thread is closed, i will be starting a new thread shortly 


Joe


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