# How was your relationship with your Breeder?



## sandra903 (Mar 9, 2009)

Hi Everyone,

I’m looking for opinions to help me decide whether I’m over-reacting to my relationship with a breeder I have been in contact with and hopefully buying my first puppy from. Here’s a quick overview of the things that have come about. 

I had been in contact with this breeder via email off and on for the past year. I was told that there was a new litter of puppies available. I called the breeder after several emails back and forth because I decided that I wanted to put down the deposit for a puppy.

During the phone call, I was told several times that I was very lucky because I would have first choice of available puppies since I was the first and only person on the waiting list. This was great news and the deposit was paid over the phone. When I received the contract, I made a change to the document to state that I would have first choice of available puppies from this particular litter. I figured since I was told this several times it wouldn’t hurt to put this information into the contract, sign it and send it back. 

A day later I received the response telling me that they had received the contract and if they decide to keep one of the puppies, I would get the other. I was slightly confused because I was told several times during our phone conversation that I would have first choice and was never told that they may be interested in keeping 1 of the puppies so I responded via email questioning why the change in the arrangement. The response was; they hadn't really planned on keeping one of these puppies when I first contacted them, that the puppies were only a few days old and they (the breeder) had not had a chance to discuss. However, after reading the changes I made to the contract, they wanted to make sure that I was aware of this possibility. I was told that the decision to keep a pup would be made when the puppies were 8-9 weeks old. This event took place over a 3 day period.

Fast forward a couple more days; hubby and I are getting excited. I was told previously that pictures would be sent to me when the puppy was around 8-9 weeks. I visited the breeder’s website and saw pictures of the other litter they had and these pictures were taken when the puppies were only 2 weeks. Hubby asked that I contact the breeder to see if pictures of our litter were also taken. I sent an email to the breeder asking how the puppies were doing and if there were any pictures available of the litter I paid a deposit on. I received a response that the puppies were doing fine, they were still too young to have their pictures taken and the breeder had decided to take the larger of the 2 puppies available in my litter.

Our Concerns: pictures were taken of the other litter at 2 weeks old that were still available. This litter is only 1 week older than the litter I paid a deposit on. I was told breeder was too busy to take pictures of the other litter and it now has decided to keep the bigger puppy from my litter My litter was only 4 weeks at this time so the breeder decide not to wait until 8-9 weeks as previously stated.

Fast forward a couple more days after I questioned the pictures taken of the other litter, pictures were sent to me of the puppy that I am buying from the second litter. Hubby and I had are excited because we previously received pictures of this puppy’s sister from the same parents and she was adorable. We looked at the pictures and I thought she was cute, hubby thought that she didn’t look like the pictures of her sister and wanted to know if her features would change as she got older considering she is still quite young. Breeder wanted to know what I thought of the pictures so I sent an email stating that I thought she was cute, I asked about her personality and said that my hubby didn’t think she looked like her sister and wanted to know if her features would continue to change as she got older. 

Received a response from the Breeder that she was still too young to determine her personality, that her features would indeed still change, that she did in fact look like her sister and if my family was not in love with her maybe we should just take back our deposit or we must send an additional deposit (per the terms of the contract) and the decision and response had to be made that day.

I was a little taken back from this email and felt that maybe she was upset that we didn’t say we loved the puppy or the breeder thought my family was changing our minds. I immediately responded to the email telling the breeder that we were still interested and excited about purchasing our puppy and that were steadily preparing our home for our family addition. I advised that we would send the additional deposit and I apologized if she felt that I was being a “pain in the rear end” but I am just trying to make this work out perfectly for both parties. 

I have not received any response back from the breeder and it has already been 1 full day so now I don’t know what to think. 

Since this is my first relationship with a breeder, I’m not sure if I was too overbearing with my emails. I’ve sent or responded to 11 emails since Jan 27th, some were basic questions of how the puppies were doing, if they were being trained on the pad and crate, what food the Breeder would be feeding, travel arrangements to pick up the pup and the situations stated above. I’ve read how so many others are constantly talking and sending emails to their breeder so I don’t know what to think.

I’m looking for guidance from others to see how their relationships with their breeders were. Do I take all these scenarios stated above as a sign and move on? Do I continue to work with this breeder who is a reputable breeder? 

Please help.


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## LJSquishy (Feb 27, 2008)

If I could offer any advice to you, it would be to back out now. If you are even having to question the breeder's intentions, way of doing things, etc, why would you purchase a lifelong commitment from them?

Any breeder who will not take pictures of a puppy you have put a deposit on is SUSPICIOUS. It is your right to know what the puppy looks like before you bring it home. Pictures can be taken from day 1, so I feel like the breeder is hiding something.

Does this breeder participate with her dogs in shows? I have a feeling this is either a puppymill or backyard breeder, so please be cautious about moving forward. There are many members here who can offer you wonderful advice about choosing a reputable breeder, and also what some of the red flags are.


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## ilovemymaltese (Oct 9, 2008)

I haven't read your entire post yet, but just curious, who is this breeder...she sounds very familiar...you can PM me if you want.


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

It doesn't sound like you are trying to slam the breeder or be nasty, you want advice and a resolution. I hope that you consider naming this breeder, to help others here on SM who are thinking of getting puppies. I wish you the best and hope you find your perfect puppy.


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

1. The breeder should select the puppy appropriate to your family. At most, I've been given a selection of 2 and discussed them with the breeder and we figure it out together from there. 

2. Why are there multiple desposits/taking a credit card over the phone? Allowing you to write things in on a contract? This all sounds fishy to me. 

3. I find is suspicious that the breeder won't take pics of the pup that is supposedly yours, but has the time to take pics of other pups during the same time period. 

I would get my deposit back and go elsewhere. Too many fishy pieces in this puzzle for me.

And to answer your question, I am in touch frequently with both of my young dogs' breeders. I e-mail pictures, call or e-mail with any questions, update then on the dog's' accomplishments, and visit whenever there is an opportunity (Roo saw his breeder a few weeks ago). The breeders I selected were particular about the puppy being a perfect match for me. Both have had the utmost concern if I tell them the dog has so much as the sniffles.


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

I was in touch weekly with Sweetness' breeder and we became very friendly. I never had any issues or concerns. 

If you're uneasy about all of this, and it does sound a bit odd, I'd ask for the deposit back and go elsewhere.


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

Our relationship with Nikki's breeder is great. We are in touch, even after 1 year. She's always been very nice and helpful.


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## ilovemymaltese (Oct 9, 2008)

My relationship with Gigi's breeder is wonderful! We email each other frequently and I am always sending her new pics of Gigi. I've actually inspired her to buy a new digital camera, because of all the pictures I send her of Gigi! LOL She has been in the malt business for a very long time so when I have questions, I can always count on her for the best answer! I swear there isn't a person in the world that knows more about malts!


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## Furbaby's Mommie (Jul 10, 2004)

There can always be personality conflicts with anyone. Getting a puppy is almost (or is!) as emotional as adopting a child. Consequently it is a recipe for misunderstandings. Especially since there is a "contact" involved in an "emotional" transaction. That said I don't mean you don't have a problem here. Just that you could experience some similar things even if your breeder were a popular show breeder with a good rep.

There are lots of breeders and puppys happen every day, so unless you are in love and can't turn back you might want to except her offer of money back.


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

If your not comfortable with her and she is changing the contract as she goes along and as she pleases, I would tell her to give me my money back and then I would move on :biggrin: There are so many great breeders out there that you don't need to feel "Not Right"


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Well, knowing the fact that we (accidently) killed the first pup we got in November :crying: .....my breeder was more than nice to me. My new pup is beautiful, I love her so much, she has a wonderful pedigree and I got to spend the entire day with my breeder. She was very down-to-earth and friendly and I loved every minute of that day.

And now I have an absolutely wonderful gorgeous puppy to enjoy for the next 15 or so years. 


Also, during that day I had a dream come true......I actually went to a dog show with Bonnie Palmer and hung around with the "big kids". :smheat: I still can't believe it. I even got to hold Karma - One of her current top champions.

Life is good here. I wish you luck in your quest for the perfect pup. If you're not 100% happy - it may this was not "meant" to be. Don't settle - this dog will be a part of your life for a long time.


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## sandra903 (Mar 9, 2009)

Thank you all for your replies. My post was not to bad mouth this breeder, but to see if I was overeacting to certain things that has happened and maybe expecting too much from our relationship. It seems to me that most of you have had a better relationship with your breeder and I often felt that I was bothering this breeder when I sent my emails.

Thank you all for your help. I hope I have a better outcome the second time around.


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Since the topic of pictures has been brought up I just want to share my experience in regards to Emma. When I contacted Marcris for a pup I was told she didn't have any pictures of Emma and that she didn't ship her pups so I would have to fly to Florida from NJ to get her. I had absolutley no problem doing this b/c I knew the reputation of Joyce. I felt 100% secure with who my breeder was. So I flew all the way to Florida for my Emma without any idea of what Emma would look like. The first time I saw her was the day I went to pick her up. Not all breeders will have pictures of their pups and not everyone would be comfortable putting a deposit on a dog without knowing what the pup looks like and I think that is completely understandable. However, b/c Emma was coming from a breeder who is so well known and respected I had no problem with this. Joyce Watkins was so wonderful to me when I went to get Emma. I feel very priveleged that I was able to meet her, spend time with her and get one of her wonderful babies! 

Both Benny's and Emma's breeders were wonderful to deal with. I personally have not reached out since I brought them home, but I wouldn't hesitate if I needed to. 

You have to personally feel comfortable with the breeder you are going with. Not everyone will bond or connect with a breeder the same way. Granted breeders can be very busy people, but at some point you need to feel a connection with them. Best of luck in your search!


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

Sometimes things don't work out perfectly the way you want them to. We had intended to wait a while to get a puppy. Then we changed our mind, and were planning to drive to Alabama to look at puppies from Always Maltese, but they didn't have any females ready to go. Then I heard about Janet (Phlick's Maltese) from SM members, and I noticed a link to Janet's website from a well-known breeders site. I discovered that Janet had a female ready to go, and there was a photo of Nikki on Janet's website. 

We were going to drive up to TN to meet Janet at her home and take a look at Nikki, and see Nikki's sire and dam in person. (Photos of them are on Janet's website.) As it turned out, Janet was going to be in our area, so she brought Nikki with her that day in order for us to decide whether we wanted her or not. No pre-commitment on our part. Because other people on this forum had had a good experience with Janet, I didn't feel the need to do every single thing that one does before getting a puppy from a breeder. Of course I took one look at Nikki and we bonded immediately, so we wanted her!! I'm very content with the way things worked out.


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## twoleeighs (Nov 1, 2008)

QUOTE (ilovemymaltese @ Apr 5 2009, 07:16 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=757804


> My relationship with Gigi's breeder is wonderful! We email each other frequently and I am always sending her new pics of Gigi. I've actually inspired her to buy a new digital camera, because of all the pictures I send her of Gigi! LOL She has been in the malt business for a very long time so when I have questions, I can always count on her for the best answer! I swear there isn't a person in the world that knows more about malts! [/B]


Gigi's breeder IS great! I have spoken to her several times even though I didn't get a pup from her, and she is so sweet taking the time to answer my questions!


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