# i can't keep him....what do i do?



## gizzysmommy (Mar 12, 2005)

he cried, wailed, howled and barked all night. my neighbors are understandably and utterly angry and i can't keep him or i will most definitely be kicked out of my apartment complex. even though it allows pets. i can't afford a 700 loss and i can't get a hold of the breeder as she might be delivering other puppies to people. i can't keep him here another night and i hate to let him go. i have no idea on what to do.


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## puppylucy (Jan 8, 2005)

dont freak out just yet. 

do you have someone's house you can stay at until he calms down at night?

i'd hate to see your little baby go









keep us updated


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

That little tiny pup is crying loud enough to annoy the neighbors?







Bless both your hearts!







Surely there is a way to fix this without getting rid of him....what about staying at a friend's house? Surely he will settle in soon. I have never had one that young, so I don't have any experience. Is everything ok with him? I just can't imagine that amount of crying-barking yes-but not crying. 

Ok, never mind, I just read again that he is howling and barking...poor baby. Does he do this even if he is sleeping by you? Maybe you need to sleep on the couch together for a few nights...or in a chair/recliner...maybe even put his crate up on the bed by you. I don't know, but surely there is an answer other than getting rid of him.







How many days has he been there? Just a few right?


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## saltymalty (Sep 14, 2004)

Ok, first relax. Take a reality check...if your apartment allows pets, then you won't be kicked out regardless of what the neighbors say. It sounds like you may be having buyers remorse...but I don't think your puppy was an impulse purchase. If I'm not mistaken, you brought him home at 8 weeks, right? Well, how about asking the breeder to take him back for another 4 weeks until he's 12 weeks? There is a reason why pups shouldn't be brought home too young, and unfortunately, you've discovered one of the reasons the hard way. If the breeder isn't willing to take him back for a few weeks, then try an old fashioned alarm clock that ticks. Also, you may want to try a hot water bottle wrapped up in a towel. Is the puppy in his crate but sleeping in your room? That might help. Or maybe get him a stuffed animal that he can cuddle up with at night. This is a stage that all puppies go through when they first come home. They miss their litter mates and their mommy. It's up to you to create a sense of security for him. Once he feels more secure, he'll stop crying. Of course all that is predicated on there being no medical reason for his crying. You'll get through this and too bad for your neighbors.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

I hate to say it but this is why Maltese puppies should stay with their mommy and siblings until at least 12 weeks.. (OK 11 is probably OK...) He is just freaked out and he will eventually be OK... it just takes a couple days. I guess it depends on how much you want him. I know this sounds weird but you could always sleep in your car ... OK... that might be too drastic!!







Does your bedroom wall connect to your neighbor's unit? If so, then perhaps you could sleep in another part of the apartment. ??

What was your sleeping arrangement last night? Did he sleep in a crate away from you or even in your room... if so, then he will cry for sure... they almost always do. I do believe if you sleep in a lounge chair or sofa and put him on your chest and let him snuggle at your neck that you both will sleep soundly... 

Please keep us posted.... I know it is overwhelming... I was the same way with my first Maltese, Rosebud many years ago.....

If you want to PM me I will give you my email address in case you have any urgent issues or if I can help further in any way....


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## dhodina (Apr 1, 2005)

Just out of curiousity how do you know your neibors are that upset? You might try explaing to them that his is just temporary and you are doing all you can to help him get thru his first nights away from mom. I know Ranger our lab we got at 6 weeks took three nights to get used to sleeping in his crate.


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## Puddles Mom (Jun 20, 2004)

Puddles started crying the 1st night so I put a large towel over his crate. He also had lots of stuff animals and chew toys in his crate. Hubby put one of my socks I had worn that day in the crate also (maybe that did it). But once the towel was over the crate and all the stuff, we got quite (no foot steps) he settled down. 








To you both, it will work out, I'm sure


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## abbey (Apr 4, 2005)

Oh, Gizzysmommy - don't give up! Abbey had a hard time adjusting too. But now after almost 3 weeks of crying and howling at night she has slept the last 3 nights without so much as a peep! I know they won't cry at all if they can sleep with you, but this was not an option for us (hubby totally refused!). Abbey is now 16 weeks old! What I have learned is that these little pups just want to be near you. 

If you are allowed pets in your apartment, I would just talk to your neighbors and I'm certain most will understand. Good Luck! I wish you and Gizzy the best!


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## ourprettytessa (Apr 9, 2005)

You can get rid of your puppy! Abbey's mommy read my mind! Don't give up!!! I've never had a puppy that cried during the nights, I wonder if it's because he misses his mommy. I think it would be a great idea to take him back to the breeder for a few weeks until he's a little older. Plus, you are going to miss him like crazy!!! 


Our best, 

Nousha and Tessa


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## triste (Aug 30, 2004)

well, I say try everything you can to keep your baby. Oliver cried for 2 nights...I finally just brought him into the bed w/ me and he calmed and was happy as a clam!


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## littlepeanut (Dec 5, 2004)

Oh no!! Don't give up on him!! He's just lonely without his littermates. Peanut was the same was for the first few nights. I moved his crate into our bedroom and yea he still whined a little, but it was a MAJOR improvement. If that doesn't help I would agree with the others and just ask the breeder if they could keep him a little while longer.


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## miko's mommy (Feb 8, 2005)

> _Originally posted by gizzysmommy_@Apr 16 2005, 08:03 AM
> *he cried, wailed, howled and barked all night. my neighbors are understandably and utterly angry and i can't keep him or i will most definitely be kicked out of my apartment complex. even though it allows pets. i can't afford a 700 loss and i can't get a hold of the breeder as she might be delivering other puppies to people. i can't keep him here another night and i hate to let him go. i have no idea on what to do.
> 
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I live in an apartment that allows pets. I don't think they can kick you out that quickly if at all. Have you tried sleeping with him? It may not be the ideal situation but just to calm him down for now. I don't think you should give up so quickly. Miko was 12 wks when we brought him home so he didn't really cry. But the breeder recommended if he did cry to give him a ticking clock wrapped in a towel (so it would be kind of like lying next to his mommy's tummy). There are also some toys that kind of immitate this. Good luck and don't try to give him away so quickly.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## doctorcathy (May 17, 2004)

try to play with him a lot so that he's SUPER tired at night. and then he'll sleep.


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## gizzysmommy (Mar 12, 2005)

thanks for all your encouraging words and yes i know it's ideal to bring him home at 12 weeks. the breeder lives 6 hours away and at this point i'm not sure i want to bring him back to her for 4 more weeks since all his littermates are all already gone so it wouldn't make that big of a difference. i have talked to my neighbors though and i think i have smoothed things over. wish me luck


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

Just a suggestion...There's a teddybear at the nursery section at target that emulates a heartbeat. Is your baby every happy at all? 

I sorta find it weird that everyone says to go running to your baby whenever they howl or cry.







I thought you have to let them until they stop. Or else they'll make the connection that you'll let them have what they want from howling/crying/barking. Now I'm confused.

I know your situation is a little different. GOOD LUCK and don't give up!


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

I wish there was a book for Maltese owners and potential Maltese owners that really gave down to earth help. Most books are very superficial and don't have "nitty gritty" info. It needs chapters such as:

1. How to Choose A Breeder - How to Recognize A Reputable Breeder
2. BYB, Puppymills, Brokers, Breeders and Show Breeders Explained
3. Questions to Ask Potential Breeders
4. What to Have On Hand Before He/She Arrives
5. The 12-Week Rule and Why It is Important
6. Hypoglycemia
7. Size and Weight
8. Puppy Play Pens
9. Dog Carriers and Car Seats
10. His/Her First Night Home With You
11. Potty Training - Potty Pads and Outdoors
12. Cujo Appears - How to Deal With Biting, Nipping, Being Mouthy, etc.
13. Feeding Your Maltese
14. Fun and Safe Toys For Your Maltese
15. Obedience Training
16. Walking On A Leash
17. Dealing With Issues Such as Biting, Aggression, Dominance, Barking, etc.
18. Where to Sleep?
19. Crate Training
20. Genetic Diseases and Conditions (Liver, Knees, Retained Teeth, etc.)
21. Spaying or Neutering - Reasons Why It Should Be Done
22. After-Surgery Care - Spaying and Neutering


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Nichole+Apr 16 2005, 03:40 PM-->
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I have always heard that you aren't supposed to do that too, but when Toby cried, I thought it was just cruel to have him crying when I knew all he wanted was to be by me. Why make him suffer like that? You know? 

Also, doing that, has made him very much a Momma's boy!














It doesn't get much better than that!






















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Yeah I know...Maybe try to play with him sooooo much, that he'll be too tired to bark and howl!?!?!? Lol


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Nichole+Apr 16 2005, 04:40 PM-->
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I have always heard that you aren't supposed to do that too, but when Toby cried, I thought it was just cruel to have him crying when I knew all he wanted was to be by me. Why make him suffer like that? You know? 

Also, doing that, has made him very much a Momma's boy!














It doesn't get much better than that!






















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Nichole, I agree with you. I think by tending to Catcher's needs those first couple nights he is a much more trusting and loving dog. He knows that if he needs me, I am there for him... Just like with a baby. He would rather be with me than just do just about anything else. 

Personally, I don't think you can spoil a puppy his/her first few days at home. This is a bonding time and also is a stressful time for the puppy, who has just left the only family he/she has ever known. And when they leave that home too soon, I think it is even more important to spoil the puppy a little bit (or a lot!)

As they have gotten older I have let K & C bark in their crates and then they'll settle down. They're darn good dogs... Both are just so sweet and the greatest of companions... but that has come about over several months... first, the bonding has to occur.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom_@Apr 16 2005, 03:43 PM
> *I wish there was a book for Maltese owners and potential Maltese owners that really gave down to earth help. Most books are very superficial and don't have "nitty gritty" info.  It needs chapters such as:
> 
> 1.  How to Choose A Breeder - How to Recognize A Reputable Breeder
> ...


[/QUOTE]


Maybe you should write a book like that.







All of it is great information that wasn't necessarily in my two books.


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## doctorcathy (May 17, 2004)

i agree with tlunn. k/c you should just write that book. if i knew there was a book like that...i sooo would've bought it. even those "puppies for dummies" books dont have all that info.


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## Sylphide and Shrek's Mom (Dec 4, 2004)

Please let your baby sleep with or near you. Forget the books, etc. that say to leave them cry. Personally, I think the whole "let them cry and howl" philosophy is bunk. Babies (and puppies) have needs, and learn to trust (or not) depending on whether or not those needs are met. Remember, this is a very tiny baby who feels scared and alone. He feels very abandoned when you leave him. If he were a babe in the wild you could be sure that Momma dog would be anxiously attending to his care. 

Don't think that if you start letting him in the bed or in the bedroom, that it will have to be forever (unless you want to- ours sleep with us). You could wean him in this way, and gradually change his sleeping arrangements as he gets older.


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## Sage (Dec 4, 2004)

> _Originally posted by gizzysmommy_@Apr 16 2005, 04:16 PM
> *thanks for all your encouraging words and yes i know it's ideal to bring him home at 12 weeks. the breeder lives 6 hours away and at this point i'm not sure i want to bring him back to her for 4 more weeks since all his littermates are all already gone so it wouldn't make that big of a difference. i have talked to my neighbors though and i think i have smoothed things over. wish me luck
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=53306*


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HI I slept with my baby and still do he never cried even once. I didnt see if you have to leave your baby to work all day or not? I never crated any of my dogs. Amu slept with me on my pillow til he got too manly and now sleeps on my feet all night. If youre working all day Id check a dogie daycare or something. Ive left the TV on when ive gone to the store and it helped my pup think someone was home. I feel really sorry for that puppie, all I worried about non stop when i got my baby home was how bad I felt taking him away from his family. I felt selfish for removing him for my own "needs" to mother him so I carried him as much as possible and kept him near me at all times. Ive done everything possible to make sure he got the best end of the deal. U can even hire a babysitter! I am sure there are people u can pay 2.00 an hour to who might wanna take care of a puppie all day while youre away. If the commitment is too much for your life rt now I would consider placing him and maybe some other time in your life you could have another puppie.


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## sheila2182 (Nov 28, 2004)

> _Originally posted by gizzysmommy_@Apr 16 2005, 03:16 PM
> *thanks for all your encouraging words and yes i know it's ideal to bring him home at 12 weeks. the breeder lives 6 hours away and at this point i'm not sure i want to bring him back to her for 4 more weeks since all his littermates are all already gone so it wouldn't make that big of a difference. i have talked to my neighbors though and i think i have smoothed things over. wish me luck
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=53306*


[/QUOTE]
How did your night go? Please dont give up.


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## sherylmint (Nov 27, 2004)

> _Originally posted by gizzysmommy_@Apr 16 2005, 03:16 PM
> *thanks for all your encouraging words and yes i know it's ideal to bring him home at 12 weeks. the breeder lives 6 hours away and at this point i'm not sure i want to bring him back to her for 4 more weeks since all his littermates are all already gone so it wouldn't make that big of a difference. i have talked to my neighbors though and i think i have smoothed things over. wish me luck
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=53306*


[/QUOTE]
Good luck. Although you won't need it they settle in pretty fast Sassy was very hard to deal with, I had sleep depravation for a week and then she settled in nicely. The first week is the hardest after that is the best reward in your life. Maltese are perhaps the most beautiful pets in the world. Full of love, playfulness and sunshine. He will bond to you in the same way and will love you with all his little heart!


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## Malteze (Mar 31, 2005)

> _Originally posted by gizzysmommy_@Apr 16 2005, 04:16 PM
> *thanks for all your encouraging words and yes i know it's ideal to bring him home at 12 weeks. the breeder lives 6 hours away and at this point i'm not sure i want to bring him back to her for 4 more weeks since all his littermates are all already gone so it wouldn't make that big of a difference. i have talked to my neighbors though and i think i have smoothed things over. wish me luck
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=53306*


[/QUOTE]

There is the old method of a warm hot water bottle, and a ticking clock. I think what you do is to wrap the hot water bottle in a towel this might trick your maltese into thinking that he is back home again, and the ticking clock reminds your maltese of his mothers heart beat.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Malteze+Apr 17 2005, 12:55 PM-->
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There is the old method of a warm hot water bottle, and a ticking clock. I think what you do is to wrap the hot water bottle in a towel this might trick your maltese into thinking that he is back home again, and the ticking clock reminds your maltese of his mothers heart beat.
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I think that was indeed something that was popular years ago but I think now we just can cuddle the little ones all night for a couple nights.....


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## puppylucy (Jan 8, 2005)

k/c's mom.. you should totally write that book!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by puppylucy_@Apr 17 2005, 08:55 PM
> *k/c's mom.. you should totally write that book!
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Wish I could... If I was a "zillionaire" I'd write it and then donate all proceeds to Northcentral Maltese Rescue....

Maybe someone will write it, though....


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## abbey (Apr 4, 2005)

Oh Gizzysmommy- I'm glad you smoothed it over with your neighbors!







Keep us posted on how he is doing. I've been thinking about you two. Good Luck!!


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## pico's parent (Apr 5, 2004)

Gizzy's Mommy,

Pico was 4 months old when I got him and one of the reasons I got him was because my daughter's family had his night-time crate in the bathroom and when they went to bed, Pico did, too.

They tried ignoring his cries, chastising him, nothing worked and they were at their wit's end.

Enter Nana for a weekend. Nana sleeps downstairs on the futon in the office which is next door to the bathroom with Pico's nighttime crate. Well, I couldn't stand it either and took matters in my own hands and brought his crate into my room, placed it next to my bed and he conked off and slept all night!

So when I departed Dallas for San Antonio a few days later, guess who was ensconsed on my front seat? Pico and his crate! And the rest is joyful history.

Don't give up Gizzy....the first few months of puppyhood can be very stressful on new Mommies but it is all worth it down the road. Pico slept in his crate next to our bed for months but for the past 3 years his crate has been in another room of the house and he goes in willingly at 10 p.m. and sleeps until we get up around 4 to take him out and then back to bed with us for a couple more hours. We all love it! Hubby, me and Pico.


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## stini (Feb 26, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom+Apr 17 2005, 08:53 PM-->
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Wish I could... If I was a "zillionaire" I'd write it and then donate all proceeds to Northcentral Maltese Rescue....

Maybe someone will write it, though....
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Maybe this sounds ambitious but, I'd kinda like to have a go at writing it. Lord knows there is tooooons of puppy/Malt related information out there. Its just up to someone to wade through it all, pick out the good stuff, and compile it.

Conducting thorough research has always been one of my strong points as a writer. I'd never consider entering the world of research writing as a profession, cause I'm afraid they'd assign me to something boring like "The Mating Rituals of the Southeast Asian Black Leopard Water Slug."


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

We should put together an online book. One with all of the info we get asked a lot: what you need when you get the puppy, grooming, websites, info on puppymills and brokers, teacup maltese, etc.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by stini+Apr 21 2005, 12:28 PM-->
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*
*[/QUOTE]

Maybe this sounds ambitious but, I'd kinda like to have a go at writing it. Lord knows there is tooooons of puppy/Malt related information out there. Its just up to someone to wade through it all, pick out the good stuff, and compile it.

Conducting thorough research has always been one of my strong points as a writer. I'd never consider entering the world of research writing as a profession, cause I'm afraid they'd assign me to something boring like "The Mating Rituals of the Southeast Asian Black Leopard Water Slug."








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Do it!! It is definitely needed.....


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## stini (Feb 26, 2005)

I do kind of like the "we" idea. Everyone who wanted to could choose something to research, write about it, and we could compile it.

You could sell it as a real hardcover reference type book on amazon and donate the profits, or put it all online at a domain somewhere for readers around the world to use for free.

other possible topics
-Good/Bad of Maltese - are they right for you?
-Maltese Standard: what it means, and why it's important
-male or female?
-you really expect me to pay _that much _for a dog?!
-outings
-Socializing with people and other dogs
-car/plane trips
-small children
-silky vs. cottony
-black points
-grooming and top knots
-are they really hypoallergenic?
-tear staining
-barking
-itchy paws
-anal gland expulsion
-appropriate/inappropriate foods
-humping
-white shaker, seizures, deafness

as a title, it could be called
-encyclopaedia malteseica
-the maltese bible

or, as a nod to our dear forum...

-your spoiled maltese


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

Add to that:
- How do I find a good breeder?
- Questions to ask a breeder
- How do I find a good vet
- Questions to ask when interviewing vets
- Vaccinations
- To microchip or to not microchip?

Umm, all I can think of right now.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

If a book was written like that...people wouldn't have as much of a reason to find SM.







Just a thought.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## 2happymalts (May 19, 2004)

How is gizmo doing????????


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## Cindy1981 (Apr 24, 2006)

I'm going through the crying at night right now with both my girls. This is the fifth time I am doing this and I believe all dogs go through this but they all adjust differently. Daphne cried for a total of 5 minutes, Bear was like 2 months, Louie was 3 months a Tinky was about a week. I think Daisy won't last much longer but I am sure Lacey will cry for awhile yet. Daisy is eventually settling down while Lacey just gets louder. Both girls as freak out as soon as they see me until I let them out of their crates. Lacey is just plain too young. I thought she was going on 9 weeks old but according to her papers from AKC she is only 7 1/2 weeks (unless I counted wrong, Her papers say March 12th ?). 

I know it is a phase and it will pass and I don't mind having little sleep right now. I know the baby stage goes all to quick. The Tv seems to really help Lacey though. I think when she hears the voices and sees a person she thinks she isn't alone. Last night I got 5 solid hours of sleep while she watched newlyweds. As soon as the show started she settled right down and went to sleep. 

There is also a CD I have heard is really good at comforting dogs. http://www.caninelullabies.com/. I ordered it for Lacey but it hasn't arrived yet. Alot of people in my Rottweiler group love this CD and highly recommend it. There is a sample of the CD on that link. Bring the dog to the computer and see what he thinks.


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## barb (Apr 3, 2006)

Like some others we brought the crate (it is divided so it is small) and placed it on a container so Roxie was right next to us in the bed. If she whimpered I just put my fingers in the cage and spoke to her and she stopped. We also covered the top and 3 sides with a couple of towels so it felt cozy. She was young also, 9 weeks, and I had to get up and feed her every few hours. I was to afraid to let her sleep with us. She was too small. I was afraid I would crush her, or she would fall off the bed.


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

Tango cried the first couple of nights that I had him too. Someone suggested to play with him before bedtime so that he is super tired! That will help, I did that with Tango too. I also placed Tango's crate on the floor next to my bed. The crate doesn't have the top on it, so I was able to sleep with my hand hanging over into the crate. That was very comforting to Tango and he slept!







I hope this helps and keep us posted on how your furbaby is doing.


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## hillary&lola (Apr 4, 2006)

don't give up so easily! this is your new baby! if he is that upset at night, let him sleep in your bed on a blanket or something and wake up every few hours to let him go potty on a wee wee pad. this is what we did with lola. also, maybe there is some underlying problem with him, a vet check may be a good idea just to weed out any major problem. please explain to your neighbors the situation, hopefully they have a heart. i agree with people that you might want to stay with a friend/ family at the house for a bit untill he calms down. certainly you won't just give up on your new baby so quick! also, please make sure you don't leave him alone for more than 5 hours a day and check on him at lunch! he sounds so youung.....


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## samsonsmom (May 4, 2005)

Glad you went and talked to your neighbors. Give everything a little time. He's lonely and confused and everything smells funny. Consistence, patience and lots of love and affection. He will be acclimated to his new home in no time. They are smart little critters. When you get nervous over his crying, he picks up on it and it makes him worse. Stay calm, talk to him in soothing tones. He'll be your bestest buddy in no time, and will look forward to a long snooze at night. I can't sleep without my hairball.

Samsonsmom


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

Carolyn ~ You are so very sweet. Always a kind word, and helpful advise to those in need. And I love you so much for that







Just wanted you and others to know that this thread seems to have started over a year ago. I think she returned the puppy to the breeder. I wish we had an update...


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## Karen542 (May 4, 2005)

Did you try bring him to bed with you? I did that from the start with Peechie and she never cried or whined at night







I hope all works out!


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