# About MalteseOnly



## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

Ok this issue has been bouncing around quite a bit recently and I'd like to take the time to address it

the MO bashing is getting out of hand, I have had more than a few members PM or email me that they have got a bad vibe because some were way to eager to jump in and bash them, and yes I have seen it, I dont think it is needed and there is not really a place here for, I am not asking for people to not voice their opinions but some of the comments have went over board, we have a chance here to have a great maltese website and our chance with that includes dismissing the negativity that surronds the banning of members at MO for whatever reason and take that chance to open up and welcome anyone here to have fun, post pics, links, etc and did I say have FUN









as we grow it will be harder and harder for me to police the threads, honestly i dont read alot of them, i Just dont have time and I count on you guys/girls to help me police yourself, soon I will be asking a few of you to join in and become a moderator and help me out around here

I want to say publicly that MO is a successful website, Jay has done a great job building his site and forums the way he wants them run, alot of peole get great info from there regardless of the experiences alot of pewople get from, good and bad, I say hats off to Jay, I want to run my site much different, it may be a succesful approach, it may not be, we'll see, but with the great group of people we have started with I can only see it getting better and I thank you for your help in that, creating negativity towards MO will only hurt us, you dont see it but I know it already has, and the negativity towards MO only brings more attention to them, I say we turn that around, bring the attention to ourselves and make this the place people want to be a part of and I know everyone here can help with that

comments are welcome but please try to understand where I am coming from

Thanks for your time in reading this...

Joe


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

We've been doing fine without having any moderators but you, Joe. None of us are like you! It's not going to be the same. I don't think we need to be watched over like little kids. I just don't like the idea. And if you pick the wrong person to moderate, I think that could cause a controversy too! 

I just like it the way it was







.

If you want us to cool it on MO, I think we'll all be cool. But I have to say, that some people want to connect and some want vent because they can be so mean! And that's the cool thing about us...that we can support each other and make each other laugh. I liked the idea that we were able to discuss it because it shows that that type of additude is *not acceptable*! 
I think some things got out of hand because sometimes people dont realize how mean their comments were or how offensive they can be. I think some people need to read what they're planning on posting before they post it. There are ways to convey your feelings to others without being so stinking rude! All arguements could have been so easily avoided if ppl had found a better way of stating things and still be able to get your msg out there. (not pointing fingers at anyone)

I'm just venting...I hate changes.


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

> I think some people need to read what they're planning on posting before they post it. There are ways to convey your feelings to others without being so stinking rude! All arguements could have been so easily avoided if ppl had found a better way of stating things and still be able to get your msg out there.[/B]


amen to that, its basically what I am trying to get across



> I'm just venting...I hate changes.[/B]


I dont like changes myself but unfortuanately sometimes peoples behavour neccetates (sp) it , we are risk of losing a few good members already and I dont want to see that happen

I have to deal with this...

Currently online
101 (72 members and 29 guests) 
Most users ever online was 349, 10-15-2004 at 02:13 PM. 

on anotehr forum right now and if I didnt except change there, tht site wouldnt exist, and this one might not if we dont see the need for it early, my time doesnt allow me to fully run SM by myself and adding MODs would be to the benefit of the site, help move threads to the right place, show people how to use aspects of the site, help "moderate" out of control threads etc, SM wont change much because I have an idea of how it should be, basically how it is now, but I cant deny the fact that we will grow and are growing


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Dec 13 2004, 08:46 PM
> *I think some things got out of hand because sometimes people dont realize how mean their comments were or how offensive they can be.  I think some people need to read what they're planning on posting before they post it.  There are ways to convey your feelings to others without being so stinking rude!  All arguements could have been so easily avoided if ppl had found a better way of stating things and still be able to get your msg out there.  (not pointing fingers at anyone)
> 
> I'm just venting...I hate changes.
> ...


[/QUOTE]


Reminds me of when my momma used to say..."It is not *what you say*, *it is the way in which you say it*".

I understand what you are saying Joe..I liked the way it was before too, but I understand... -_-


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Dec 13 2004, 08:46 PM
> *We've been doing fine without having any moderators but you, Joe.  None of us are like you!  It's not going to be the same.  I don't think we need to be watched over like little kids.  I just don't like the idea.  <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=22865*


[/QUOTE]

and that wouldnt be the point of me adding MODs, I actually need help doing some of the behind the scenes stuff, I cant read every thread and alot of them get in the wrong forums, or a new member needs help posting a picture, etc, I dont ask MODs to help me on my forums to be a baby sitter, i dont think we need those


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe+Dec 13 2004, 09:47 PM-->
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and that wouldnt be the point of me adding MODs, I actually need help doing some of the behind the scenes stuff, I cant read every thread and alot of them get in the wrong forums, or a new member needs help posting a picture, etc, I dont ask MODs to help me on my forums to be a baby sitter, i dont think we need those








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=22876
[/B][/QUOTE]


Cool!








We love ya Joe!


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

Your a great guy Joe! I think you've been doin a great job! 

How are you going to pick moderators?


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## doctorcathy (May 17, 2004)

ok, i know theres a few people that know lots about pics and computers. but i can only think of ladymontava and lexismom. ....i forget who else has helped people







sorry you guys. if i find someone else....i'll post their name.







i think they'd be really helpful with SM


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

and I just want to clarify something, I'm not defending anyone or any group or site or whatever, basicaly in my overworded statement I was trying to get at Sm doing their thing, MO doing theres, everyone being nice, kind and respectful to each other and new members and please know that because there is a difference in opinion amongst everyone that it doesnt need t escalate beyond a difference in opinion and oh yea, did I mention us having fun?


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## charmypoo (Sep 11, 2004)

I love SM and I have seen it grow. I enjoy the fact that everything is so open. If we want to know where someone got their baby, we can ask. If we want to know what shampoos are good, we can ask.

MO is also a great resource. Yes, it is strict but sometimes that strictness does get some messages across. I believe some of the messages are not wrong.

We all have a choice of where we can post and how to conduct ourselves. I am not going to deny it. I post on both sites and many more mailing list. I don't hide my identity in either.

I believe I behave similiarily. I try to be respectful of all opinions and give my own as well. We are all here to learn.


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## mee (Jul 17, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe_@Dec 13 2004, 10:50 PM
> *and I just want to clarify something, I'm not defending anyone or any group or site or whatever, basicaly in my overworded statement I was trying to get at Sm doing their thing, MO doing theres, everyone being nice, kind and respectful to each other and new members and please know that because there is a difference in opinion amongst everyone that it doesnt need t escalate beyond a difference in opinion and oh yea, did I mention us having fun?
> 
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[/QUOTE]

Are u this nice in real life too Joe??

u seem like a kind 6'1'' guy !! hahaha


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## snoopychan (Nov 9, 2004)

Good point Joe!!


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## lani (Sep 14, 2004)

Well said, Joe!


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## Caesar's Mommie (Apr 8, 2004)

> _Originally posted by mee+Dec 14 2004, 01:00 AM-->
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Are u this nice in real life too Joe??

u seem like a kind 6'1'' guy !! hahaha








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=22934
[/B][/QUOTE]
Joe-Well said Joe!








Mee- LOL


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe_@Dec 13 2004, 08:16 PM
> *and take that chance to open up and welcome anyone here to have fun, post pics, links, etc and did I say have FUN
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[/QUOTE]




> _Originally posted by Joe_@Dec 13 2004, 10:50 PM
> *oh yea, did I mention us having fun?
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[/QUOTE]


So....let me get this straight....you want us to have fun..?RIGHT? LOL...J/K...I hear ya Joe..well said!!!


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

Thank you, Joe, for this thread. I was away from this forum for a few days and was so disturbed to read all the negative, nasty, personal attacks that had been posted while I was gone.

Many people don't realize that not only does mantaining this forum take a lot of Joe's time, it also costs money to maintain. I'm sure all of us want to see this investment in time and money pay off and watch spoiledmaltese.com continue to grow. It's upsetting that a few posters seem to resent new people discovering this great site and send out a "go back where you came from" message. 

No matter where our new members come from, they deserve to be treated with respect. I think most of us originally started with Maltese Only so why should anyone pre-judge someone else who has (or continues to) post there?

I support the addition of moderators 100%, Joe. I have been involved with many other forums and, as you say, they are necessary just to maintain a popular forum. They are also on occasion necessary to intervene when a thread becomes mean spirited, personal and negative. Unfortunately, sometimes it does become necessary to close a thread,as Joe, did, or on a rare occasion, "ban" a poster who will not abide by the basic rules after being warned.

I urge everyone here to remember that posting here is a privilege, not a right. Out of respect for Joe and all his hard work to maintain this site, we all need exercise basic rules of common courtesy and respect for others when using this forum.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by LadysMom_@Dec 14 2004, 09:00 AM
> *It's upsetting that a few posters seem to resent new people discovering this great site and send out a "go back where you came from" message.
> 
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=22952*


[/QUOTE]

As always, Marj, you eloquently expressed what a lot of us are feeling. Thank you!

There is a coterie on SM that talks of freedom of speech, yet one cannot help but infer from some of the recent posts that "freedom" only applies if _they_ approve of what is being said. 

When a new member joins, there is always a big "Welcome to SM". Let's make sure that these are not hollow words . . .


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## Maxismom (Mar 24, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Joe+Dec 13 2004, 09:47 PM-->
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and that wouldnt be the point of me adding MODs, I actually need help doing some of the behind the scenes stuff, I cant read every thread and alot of them get in the wrong forums, or a new member needs help posting a picture, etc, I dont ask MODs to help me on my forums to be a baby sitter, i dont think we need those








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=22876
[/B][/QUOTE]


Joe

You shouldnt have to read every thread , you have done such a great job with this site and i and alot of the members appreciate all the hard work and caring that went into this site
i hope this all gets resolved and we can continue to share stories and have fun
all this recent bickering has been really uncalled for and i think some came on here to cause controversy so i for one will try and stay away from some of the people i feel are doing this to ruin the site i suggest we be our own moderators and use our common sense to know who is real and who is just stirring up the pot if we do that we all should be fine
again Joe thank you


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## denise&chico (Oct 14, 2004)

Thanks Joe that was very well written and i totally agre.thgis is a great place to come to enjoy fellow maltese lovers







~ Denise


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

Joe, how about adding a new section right at the very top stating the forum rules? Most other forums have them. Here is a sample from the Pets with Diabetes forum I belong to, which is a moderated forum that works very well. Most of the time there is very little interference, but occasionally when the the posts get too personal or an individual tries to create friction, the moderators step in and take charge.


General Community Rules 

This community is for open, respectful discussion of issues relating to diabetes in pets. 
Discussion about different opinions and management techniques is encouraged, but rudeness or personal attacks are not allowed. 

There are moderators for the community. 
Please follow their instructions for keeping the discussions productive and in the appropriate forum. 

Users who refuse to follow the rules will not be allowed to post messages. 

I have been reading the old news and announcements here and it seems that negative posts are not a new problem to spoiledmaltese.com. Unfortunately, a few individuals can ruin it for everyone else. Obviously, we have proven that we can't moderate ourselves as some have suggested and I applaud Joe's decision to enlist the aid of moderators to keep this forum user friendly to everyone who visits here.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)

I can't, for the life of me, understand why everyone can't get along. We are all adults, and in the scope of things, is SM something that should upset someone _that _much? Perhaps moderators are needed and maybe not for good--just until things calm down.

I love this site and what is so confusing is as I look at the new posts, here is this post devoted to all the controversy and drama and then the next post below is about lipstick?!?! Can't we just go back to talking about Maltese and lipstick?!?!









I think we need to move on and stop rehashing and then maybe some of this will die down.

Just my two cents.


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## Airmid (Dec 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Dec 14 2004, 12:33 PM
> *I can't, for the life of me, understand why everyone can't get along.  We are all adults, and in the scope of things, is SM something that should upset someone that much?  Perhaps moderators are needed and maybe not for good--just until things calm down.
> 
> I love this site and what is so confusing is as I look at the new posts, here is this post devoted to all the controversy and drama and then the next post below is about lipstick?!?!  Can't we just go back to talking about Maltese and lipstick?!?!
> ...


[/QUOTE]

Put me down for Maltese and Lipstick too! Maybe the occaisional hair dye....oh, and deodorant!


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Airmid+Dec 14 2004, 01:21 PM-->
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Put me down for Maltese and Lipstick too! Maybe the occaisional hair dye....oh, and deodorant!








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=23037
[/B][/QUOTE]








At least the "crusties" have stopped...!?








Who were the goof-balls that started that anyway?!







LOL J/K- I know EXACTLY who it was


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## FannyMay (Nov 18, 2004)

I just want to jump in here and defend the moderator idea of Joe's. Moderators are not to dictate and watch over us like we are children. They are to HELP Joe out so that he doesn't have to do so much work. Think about moderators as if they were assistants. Like Joe said before, if there is a thread in the wrong place and a moderator notices it and Joe doesn't, then they have the power (because Joe can give them the power) to move that post/thread to the right section. Ex: When I first joined I posted something about puppy mills in the Maltese Health section without knowing there was a special section just for puppy mill stuff. I waited and waited for Joe to move it but because he doesn't have time to read every single post, he didn't notice and it didn't get moved. I finally PMed Joe and told him what I did and asked if he could move my post and he did. Now if there was a moderator assigned to the Maltese Health board, they would have seen that post (because it's easier to read every health post than it is to read EVERY single post on the forum) and they could have moved it without a problem. Some people are saying we should moderate ourselves and that's great. Watch what you say and how you say it and that would make things easier on Joe. However a regular user doesn't have the ability to move a post to a different section, close or delete an offensive thread, or even ban a trouble making member. A moderator would have these abilities because Joe would give them those abilities. 
So a moderator isn't a babysitter for us as much as they are an assistant to Joe.


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

It's not necessarily about the old against the new members. It's about being polite and not rude and arrogant.

Ladysmom--I've never had any problems whatsoever with ya and I gotta make sure you know that I'm not attacking you. I just want to counterargue your statement...

Lets me make an example out of Denise's comment, since that's the comment you used. She said, "Go back to where you came from" or something. Ok, that was mean. There were things that were said that led up to that point and all the rudeness was not coming from Denise. Even though Vita was right, don't you think it was rude..."Well, if you read the user agreement on Maltese Only it is pretty clear that posting other websites is not permitted.* What did you expect *would happen if you solicted votes for your Maltese for another site?" I don't mean to put Vita on the spot because I never had issues with her, but seriously, that didn't sound nice. Up to that point Denise was pretty tamed. Anyway, things got out of hand and it let to the thread being closed. My point is, Denise wasn't the only one to be blamed. [sorry to bring up the past you guys...I had to make an example out of this to prove my point....I'm not trying to hurt/blame anyone]

And I KNOW that we all treat new members with respect whether or not they came from or are still apart of MO. We all even tried to change the subject on that "I got banned" thread to avoid further conflict. I think it's apparent that we *LOVE* new members. We're not picky about who joins. Our welcome will ALWAYS be warm to the ones who are kind. The issue has always been about the attitude. Someone has to back me up on this, but as far as all the arguements go, SM JUST started having issues w/ppl clashing. 

If ya'll feel the need to counterargue, by all means, lets talk about it so we can understand each other.


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## mee (Jul 17, 2004)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Dec 14 2004, 02:48 PM
> *Someone has to back me up on this, but as far as all the arguements go, SM JUST started having issues w/ppl clashing.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=23085*


[/QUOTE]

i would back u up my friend, but i have finals to do..hahaha soweee

tlunn= "At least the "crusties" have stopped...!? 
Who were the goof-balls that started that anyway?! LOL J/K- I know EXACTLY who it was "

who were they??? i cant remember...


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

> _Originally posted by mee+Dec 14 2004, 01:54 PM-->
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i would back u up my friend, but i have finals to do..hahaha soweee

tlunn= "At least the "crusties" have stopped...!? 
Who were the goof-balls that started that anyway?! LOL J/K- I know EXACTLY who it was "

who were they??? i cant remember...
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=23088
[/B][/QUOTE]

Why you always do that to me! I thought you my homegirl! I write something important and you KILL IT with your goofiness! 
Tlunn--you know you like crusties..that's why you brought it up again.


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## denise&chico (Oct 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Dec 14 2004, 02:48 PM
> *It's not necessarily about the old against the new members.  It's about being polite and not rude and arrogant.
> 
> Ladysmom--I've never had any problems whatsoever with ya and I gotta make sure you know that I'm not attacking you.  I just want to counterargue your statement...
> ...


[/QUOTE]
Thank you butter that is how it went , and i certainly didnt start all that garbage but i also i am not stupid, and will react when someone is being rude to me but you said it best because that is EXACTLY how it happened . As for MO i was on there a while with no problems only in my moment of excitment for chico did i sin.... . and posted the vote for chico there. But. as my cousin would say when there was a dumb arugment ''WHO Cares''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

I agree that I, too ,have NO issues as to whether anyone posts on/supports MO or not. My frustration comes when the "tone" of a post is done in such a way that it comes across condescending (sp?!) and in turn causes the recipient to feel offended or inferior to the one who posted it and/or others. Again, it is not so much *what you say, as it is how you say it*. Maybe everyone is not as sensitive as others are...but I think that it is important to make sure the message conveyed is in a positive tone and spirit. You can even disagree with someone without being rude and condescending...it is just not necessary. 
I know sometimes, I have to stop and think about the rule...*If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.* That helps me keep my mouth shut SO much on here and in my personal life on a daily basis. I just don't feel it is necessary to hurt someone's feelings with my own opinion-nor does it make it right to come back at them and be just as hurtful and hateful when they have upset me. It doesn't mean that I don't THINK it...I just try to hold my tongue and temper. When I mess up and lose my cool, or stick my foot in my mouth, I know that I must apologize to the one that I hurt/offended. Sometimes I need to get things off of my chest...as I did when I started the other thread...but I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say, and the best way to convey my message. Maybe I was successful, maybe I wasn't-but when I was finished with it, I felt that I had given it my best shot.

I guess...what I am trying to say is that everyone needs to try and have mutual respect for each other, regardless of who you are, where you came from, how many other boards you post on, whether you can type or spell, whether you breed or don't breed, whether you show or don't show, whether you have had maltese for 1 year or 30 years, whether you are young or old,...etc.







I feel like I am rambling and talking in a circle







Am I making ANY sense?!


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## Maxismom (Mar 24, 2004)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Dec 14 2004, 02:48 PM
> *It's not necessarily about the old against the new members.  It's about being polite and not rude and arrogant.
> 
> Ladysmom--I've never had any problems whatsoever with ya and I gotta make sure you know that I'm not attacking you.  I just want to counterargue your statement...
> ...


[/QUOTE]

Bravo bravo















i will say and not to get into it but vita doesnt remember that before i was banned from MO we had a few exchanges i remember her being very rude 
i missed whatever happened recently so i can't comment but when i saw her name i knew denise must be innocent


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## Caesar's Mommie (Apr 8, 2004)

> _Originally posted by tlunn_@Dec 14 2004, 02:21 PM
> *I agree that I, too ,have NO issues as to whether anyone posts on/supports MO or not.  My frustration comes when the "tone" of a post is done in such a way that it comes across condescending (sp?!) and in turn causes the recipient to feel offended or inferior to the one who posted it and/or others. Again, it is not so much what you say, as it is how you say it.  Maybe everyone is not as sensitive as others are...but I think that it is important to make sure the message conveyed is in a positive tone and spirit. You can even disagree with someone without being rude and condescending...it is just not necessary.
> I know sometimes, I have to stop and think about the rule...If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  That helps me keep my mouth shut SO much on here and in my personal life on a daily basis.  I just don't feel it is necessary to hurt someone's feelings with my own opinion-nor does it make it right to come back at them and be just as hurtful and hateful when they have upset me.  It doesn't mean that I don't THINK it...I just try to hold my tongue and temper.  When I mess up and lose my cool, or stick my foot in my mouth, I know that I must apologize to the one that I hurt/offended. Sometimes I need to get things off of my chest...as I did when I started the other thread...but I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say, and the best way to convey my message.  Maybe I was successful, maybe I wasn't-but when I was finished with it, I felt that I had given it my best shot.
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]
Buttercloud and Tlunn- Very well said! I think that if we all treat each other with respect on here then things will be back to 'normal' here at SM. I have never seen it get out of hand as it has now, I know we are growing, but I also feel as we grow we should still show respect to all on here, that means new to old and old to new. We have to keep in mind why we are all here; we all love our furbabies very much.


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## denise&chico (Oct 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Caesar's Mommie+Dec 14 2004, 03:56 PM-->
> 
> 
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Buttercloud and Tlunn- Very well said! I think that if we all treat each other with respect on here then things will be back to 'normal' here at SM. I have never seen it get out of hand as it has now, I know we are growing, but I also feel as we grow we should still show respect to all on here, that means new to old and old to new. We have to keep in mind why we are all here; we all love our furbabies very much.








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=23120
[/B][/QUOTE]
AMEN!


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## Ladysmom (Oct 19, 2004)

As Fanny May explains so well, a moderator isn't a babysitter, just someone who would help this forum run more smoothly as it grows. Webster's defines a moderator as "someone who presides over a meeting, forum or debate". Recent posts have shown how much we need someone to preside over this forum at all times. I think a lot of things were said on the thread that Joe closed that people probably regretted later after they calmed down, but once said, they couldn't take back. And bottom line is that the great momentum and growth we were experiencing here the previous week came to an end. A "go back where you came from" attitude whether directed at one individual or newcomers in general sends a strong message to all lurkers and newbies. Had this forum been adequately monitored and those posts pulled before they could cause the damage they did, perhaps most of the new people from AMR that joined us recently wouldn't have been scared away so quickly. The AMR people were experienced Maltese owners who had much to offer this forum.


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## Maxismom (Mar 24, 2004)

if we get into doing that than this board becomes like the MO board that most of us don't want to be on. Truth is these new problems have been the last month or two so I think rather than a scripted board , we need to weed out the people who are causing this problem all of a sudden. And to be perfectly honest with you I feel like some on here are purposely sabotaging this board so that SM follows the foot steps of MO which is pretty sleazy if that's the motive so I am going to ask
the real genuine people on here to try and avoid the posts that we know are purposely setting this website up for failure
and avoid answering them


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

The great thing about Joe and SM is that he really doesn't WANT to ban anyone. Had he banned Denise, she would have never apologized....RIGHT? Can we not forgive? Can you not forgive? Can you not even understand were ppl like Denise is coming from? Because the thing is, if you dont feel compassion for BOTH sides, we will never agree and come to an understanding. 

And as far as that babysitting comment I made...I GET IT. It makes me so mad how you're using my words against me like I'm a fool. I GET IT! I don't need a dictionary! Joe already explained it to me and to us why he wants MOD's(the 5th post)...I GET IT. And seriously, with all this bickering going on and then Joe talking about MOD's while we're all arguing...ANYONE WOULD THINK THE SAME AS ME--that he wants us to be babysat!

Oh yeah...quit arguing...quit pointing fingers...And just TALK!


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

*This is my last post on this topic...

When I first joined this forum it was only to gain more knowledge about the breed of my new pet and become a more responsible owner. In the midst of looking for that knowledge, I found fun and camaraderie. I came to look forward to the "fun" here more than I did searching for knowledge. In the midst of that fun, I also found some friends-and although we are scattered all across the US...we have other things in common besides our fluff-butts. I came to enjoy posting and being silly with them.









SM became an outlet for me...I am very busy (contrary to my number of posts on here







)I am married, with two kids, a full time teaching job, many church responsibilities, and six pets to care for. I have personal problems going on with my extended family -along with the normal day to day stressors of my life that are affecting my moods and health. I don't need stress in my "outlet".









I have tried to make my point and express my feelings in a mature, non-offensive manner-but I am getting off this merry-go-round. Coming here is not relieving my stress, it is adding to it. When I think about it, it seems SO silly...but I cannot sit back and watch people be rude and ugly to others without it bothering my conscience. -_- 

I will continue to visit the other threads, but I am done in this one, or anything else controversial on the WE/THEY issue. I have better, more productive things to do with my time than to argue around in a circle and listen to adults act like the junior high students I deal with eight hours a day.

I guess, if I continue to be bothered by the controversy in the rest of the threads, I will leave altogether (like I started to do at MO right before I got banned). I don't know or care if I will be missed-I soak up more knowledge than I give-but I do have fun here...or did until recently. I have made friends that I will continue to "chat" with regardless of whether I visit here or not.

Just wanted to share my final thoughts/words.







*


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## Mystify79 (Apr 6, 2004)

I didn't really want to get to involved in this thread because it's such a volatile subject. I've seen some of my favorite forums ruined by members fighting. Personally, I'd really hate to see this place become a newbie/less serious people against the more experienced/serious people. There's a place for everyone here and that is what makes this a great forum. I really, really don't think there have been extremely ugly posts on here that deserved to be deleted, people disagree and that's going to happen, moderators or not. Personally, I usually will avoid any topic that is a little too heated for me and I suggest others do that too, we are all mostly adults here and we can moderate what we view here. I also think that electronic media is very unemotional so a lot of little nuances can be lost.. something that a person meant to be funny can sound rude to another person. Some people need to lighten up on here, this is a forum about dogs after all..  and yes, I realize there are some very serious subjects that pop up on here but I would say that there hasn't been any lack of sympathy and seriousness for those subjects... but that attitude doesn't need to be taken on every single subject and thread. I personally think that moderators can abuse their power, I've seen it happen time and time again. A mod who has a personal beef against certain posters or certain kind of posts will just delete them without having a good reason. That's not cool. One of my favorite forums has a function where members who have been there for a certain amount of time can turn in posts they deem to be inappropriate and if enough members do that the post and poster will be deleted.. you would not believe how many awesome members have been deleted because someone who didn't like them decided to turn in their post. So, yes, mods can be useful in keeping threads on track and making sure posts are in the right place, but they can also be bad in that they can become board police and that's not a good thing, especially here. I really think we should just forget about MO and not even bring it up over here. If people still are avid members of MO too, that's fine, but don't expect SM to be the same kind of forum... And those of us who were banned just need to pretend that MO doesn't exist, because we all like it better here anyways, so no need to even bring it up anymore. I'm sure we all visit or are members of other forums and every forum is different and has a different vibe. And I really don't want to see long time posters leave and I don't lurkers and new members to feel like they can't post here.. that's what I loved about this site when I first came here was that I was immediately welcomed and felt totally comfortable posting my freaked out "why did my puppy do this" type posts that most people would know better about but I had no clue. I really hope we can all coexist happily forever because this forum would be no fun if all the silly people left and it wouldn't be a very educational forum if all the experienced people left. Anyways, that's my 2 cents on this subject...







And I think we all need a group hug.







And tlunn, please don't leave, you and Brinkley are awesome!


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## dr.jaimie (Mar 23, 2004)

that sounds like a nice conclusion to this thread....good job guys..







how about we dont post here (in the thread) n e more and let the discussion be closed. lets start fresh and get back to our fluffbutts!


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## joe (Jan 5, 2003)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Dec 14 2004, 04:37 PM
> *with all this bickering going on and then Joe talking about MOD's while we're all arguing...ANYONE WOULD THINK THE SAME AS ME--that he wants us to be babysat!
> 
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=23141*


[/QUOTE]

wow, this just isnt the case, far from it

and i think Mystify79 and LadyMontava both had very good posts, i guess i just dont make myself clear


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