# Big dilemma, please help with opinions



## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

A little back story - Husband and I eloped and got married on a whim one weekend (we drove to Vegas). Not that much of a whim though, I've known him for 12 yrs and were engaged, planning to get married this year anyway. Now, our very traditional Indian parents are not very happy about this. They want us to still do a big Indian wedding sometime this year. It is just something we have to do if we want to stay a part of family. And honestly, I want to do it. We still have school friends, college friends there and we would love to celebrate with our family and friends.

What do we do about Gustave though? I don't know if I should take him with me or let him stay here. Here's my list of cons for both options, please please let me know what your opinion is. I am so confused.

If we take him with us to India
1. How will he fly? There are no direct flights. I could fly direct from NYC, that would be an 18hrs flight. Where would he potty? In the crate? Poor baby. How about food? Has anyone done this? And what if we can't fly from NYC? It will be a connecting flight then. What if they lose him in the transfer? Won't he be very, very scared cooped up in a box for 24 hours? I can't even imagine doing this to him.

2. How will his immune system react to India? For those never been there, it is a dirty, polluted, loud country. Will he be OK with that? Of course he will be drinking filtered water all the time. But what about just the air he breathes in. I get allergies when I'm there, and I grew up there!

3. I don't know how he will manage with the wedding. If you've seen any Indian wedding in a movie, multiply that by 10 and that's how loud and crowded the whole thing is going to be. He might be scared etc. This is the least of my worries though. I can protect him if he's with me.


If we leave him here
1. We don't have any friends we can trust with a dog(no one has a dog) but our dog walker is awesome. She does board dogs at her place but they are all BIG dogs. She trusts them and says they are well trained. And I trust her, but it scares me to leave him there.

Second option is his breeder. His breeder is an amazing lady but she has a lot of other dogs to take care of. Plus her elderly mom. And she does so many shows. As much as I trust her I know she will be very distracted and he might not get a lot of her attention.

Third option is a pet hotel. Tbh, I am leaning strongly towards this option. We found a great daycare for him that I trust. And they have groomers in-house. I could pre-arrange regular grooming sessions for him. And the staff there loves him and he loves the staff.

2. I know no one can care for him the way I do. No one will brush his hair everyday, clean his teeth, mix the honest kitchen like the way he wants etc.

3. He might be confused and scared, and will miss us.

4. This is the biggest one, I can't fathom the idea of not having him at the wedding. It is a big event in our lives, and not having our baby there seems to stupid. 

What do you guys think? I really don't know right now. There are a of factors but honestly to me it's the stressful travel vs. not having him at our wedding that's the biggest deciding point.


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

If you could get him to me, I'd care for him in a heartbeat


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## IvysMom (Dec 24, 2012)

Your pros/cons list hasn't discussed customs, either the laws for bringing a dog into India or returning to the U.S. from India. You might need to check into this too.

How long will you be gone? That is important too. A week or 10 days at a doggie hotel is one thing; a month would be another.

As far as having him at your wedding, I would think how it would effect him more than how you would feel about him not being at your special day. While I know you would love to have him as part of your wedding day, if he were frightened and scared by all the noise and people, you most likely would not be able to focus on your wedding and would be worried about him instead.

While I love to travel with my pets, I think under these circumstances finding a safe, caring babysitting situation for him might be the best bet. Do you have a vet clinic that offers boarding (not just in a tiny cage but in a bigger kennel where he can go in and outside)? There you know his health and safety would be top priority. The doggie day-care place you mentioned sounds as if it might be a safe option too.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

I agree it would be a very stressful time taking him to India. That is too much of a plane ride for your baby. You might be able to find someone who could care for him and would give him a home environment. I would ask at your vet's office, often the techs do this sort of thing. You might think about having a picture of him at the ceremony or wearing a locket with his picture in it. Even if they paint a henna stencil of him on you, that I would be awesome and would be a furever memory. If you find the right care giver you can skype the ceremony so that you see him and he sees you and would be an important part of the day. I honestly think it best that he does not travel but stays near home. Can you get a house sitter?


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

I would NOT take him with me to India. Too many hours on the road. I would go either with the walker or the Pet hotel.
Sometimes it would help if we knew where a member is located. If you are in Arizona I would not mind babysitting him for you.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

I will be gone for 10 days. I think you're all confirming what I already feared. We'd have to leave him here. 

I think I'm gonna find someone on DogVacay.com and also have the walker check on him periodically. 


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

MalteseJane said:


> I would NOT take him with me to India. Too many hours on the road. I would go either with the walker or the Pet hotel.
> Sometimes it would help if we knew where a member is located. If you are in Arizona I would not mind babysitting him for you.


That is so sweet of you. I would love to do that but we're in California. 


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Furbabies mom said:


> If you could get him to me, I'd care for him in a heartbeat


Deb if that were possible my only worry would be him getting used to a great life and missing it when he comes back to us, haha. I'm so touched you'd offer to take care of him. 


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## hoaloha (Jan 27, 2012)

I totally feel your dilemma-- I was contemplating a similar situation for a future family member's wedding! I know you want him there, but it does sound like it will be extra stressful to take him. Also, as ivysmom mentioned, India may have special regulations and quarantine procedures.

10 days does feel super long but is do-able. Do you know which month you are going? Maybe Gustave can stay with us if the dates work out  I can brush him, his teeth, and he can play with Obi... And I can practice what it feels like to have two dogs


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## Zoe's Mom88 (Apr 25, 2011)

I agree with the others. As difficult as it would be to leave him I think its best for everyone. As long as you trust whoever will be caring for him it should be fine. I know how hard it must be to even make that decision but considering your circumstances its probably the best thing to do. It must also be exciting planning a wedding. Congrats!!


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

And if he stays with Obi, he can learn some cool tricks!!! I would do that in a heartbeat : )


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I personally would not take him...However I do understand the concern of finding the right situation when leaving him here. It would be wonderful if you could leave him with one of our members as you'd be truly secure in knowing he'd get the best of TLC!

I know I never could leave my babies in a kennel/boarding facility... not that there aren't good ones out there... just not 'my-way". Going way back to our fir5st pooch.. when we couldn't have a family member stay here at the house...I started putting the word out to friends/family and my clients. We were able to get 2 different gals whom I knew them and their families. I knew they were very responsible gals. Both were going to college, so they did say they'd have to leave a couple times for their classes and that was fine. After all from time to time "I" even have left them. LOL 

I did treat the gals well....always made sure the house was stocked with 'goodies' for them... easy meals for quick microwaving etc. I left money for movie rentals/ and take out if they wanted. Neither ever used that money. One gal said it was like a little mini-vacation for her... she didn't have to do much but pamper my pooch. ( brush/feed/walk/play/ just keep cpmpany) I teased them that if they let the dog sleep with them they got a bonus! LOL They did let them sleep on the bed... but refused 'bonus" LOL 

Sooo we usually could get on gal or the other at any given time. ...and they only charged $20 a day... this was for pretty much 24 hr service! I always gave them 'extra' as they were soooo worth it!

Soo I suggest you start putting the word out.. you never know if a person at the vets/groomers, a friend's friend etc might just have suggestion for the perfect person to just stay at your home . 

I know many worry about having someone other than family staying in their house. It's a valid concern... but the way I looked at it...if I trusted these gals with my most prized posession...( my pooch!!!) anything else in the house was a 'given'. Again in our case we knew these gals and their famlies and knew of their integrity etc.


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

Well I like Marissa's offer the best! But if the dates don't work, here is a place in Westlake Village. Not too far from you I think. It has a great rep. A friend of mine used them, and they even read her dogs a bedtime story...no kidding.

The Barkley Pet Hotel- Westlake Village

Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow at the dog show!!


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

hoaloha said:


> I totally feel your dilemma-- I was contemplating a similar situation for a future family member's wedding! I know you want him there, but it does sound like it will be extra stressful to take him. Also, as ivysmom mentioned, India may have special regulations and quarantine procedures.
> 
> 10 days does feel super long but is do-able. Do you know which month you are going? Maybe Gustave can stay with us if the dates work out  I can brush him, his teeth, and he can play with Obi... And I can practice what it feels like to have two dogs


 
There are few I would trust more to watch my babies then several of you on the forums. I think this is an excellent offer  I would jump at it.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

hoaloha said:


> Do you know which month you are going? Maybe Gustave can stay with us if the dates work out  I can brush him, his teeth, and he can play with Obi... And I can practice what it feels like to have two dogs


Marisa, I am SO grateful for your kind offer. No other option even compares to him staying with you. We haven't decided on the date yet but it's gonna be around one or the other American holiday. Both of us get to take more days off that way. I understand that means you will probably be celebrating so I completely get it if the dates don't work out. 

Let's chat about it more tomorrow. Again, I completely get it if it doesn't work for whatever reason, your kind offer is much appreciated in any case.




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## IvysMom (Dec 24, 2012)

Wow, that Barkley hotel is amazing.


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## Yogi's Mom (Jan 6, 2013)

*This Warms My Heart. I Think There Will Be A Super Dooper Ending. Good Luck Nickee In Pa**


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

pammy4501 said:


> Well I like Marissa's offer the best! But if the dates don't work, here is a place in Westlake Village. Not too far from you I think. It has a great rep. A friend of mine used them, and they even read her dogs a bedtime story...no kidding.
> 
> The Barkley Pet Hotel- Westlake Village
> 
> !


OMG! I'm ready to check in myself!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I would be very worried about traveling with him and am glad that you have some super options here with our members. It would be a big weight lifted from you for sure.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Okay, you asked. I wouldn't do it period. I would not take my dog to India, but I would not leave my dog either. Personally, I think big wedding celebrations are for a different time and a very different world. I think you would be better off to put the expense into buying a house and securing your future in a very insecure time. I guess I am not totally aware of your families customs. I did stray from my families customs. 

I am just offering you a different point of view. My point of view. Just in case what you really want to do is spend your money to buy a house, and spend your energy to launch your new marriage, you have a supporter.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Sylie said:


> Okay, you asked. I wouldn't do it period. I would not take my dog to India, but I would not leave my dog either. Personally, I think big wedding celebrations are for a different time and a very different world. I think you would be better off to put the expense into buying a house and securing your future in a very insecure time. I guess I am not totally aware of your families customs. I did stray from my families customs.
> 
> I am just offering you a different point of view. My point of view. Just in case what you really want to do is spend your money to buy a house, and spend your energy to launch your new marriage, you have a supporter.


I know what you mean. I don't care about a wedding. To me it's just a party my parents are throwing and I'm gonna show up. Indian parents are very narrow minded. Mine have given me a lot of freedom and support, including letting me move to America. If all they want in return is that I let them organize a wedding for me, I don't have a reason big enough to object. I know it's a waste of money. To them it's not. It's worth it to 'save face' in front of other relatives. 

That's not even the problem though. We'll have to go to India to visit soon anyway. My parents, his parents, our siblings, pretty much everyone, I haven't even met all his family. Now that we're married, we can't just not visit. 


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

pammy4501 said:


> Well I like Marissa's offer the best! But if the dates don't work, here is a place in Westlake Village. Not too far from you I think. It has a great rep. A friend of mine used them, and they even read her dogs a bedtime story...no kidding.
> 
> The Barkley Pet Hotel- Westlake Village
> 
> Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow at the dog show!!


That place looks awesome. Thanks for the link. 


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Yogi's Mom said:


> *This Warms My Heart. I Think There Will Be A Super Dooper Ending. Good Luck Nickee In Pa**


Thank you!


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## babycake7 (Jan 30, 2012)

I'm thinking Marissa's offer for Gustave to hang with her and Obi is awesome!! Can you imagine what Gustave might learn while staying with her?!! How great would that be and what fun those two cute boys would have together!!! Isn't SM great - all these people from different places and walks of life always supporting one another in the most unexpected ways because of our shared love of the maltese breed.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

babycake7 said:


> I'm thinking Marissa's offer for Gustave to hang with her and Obi is awesome!! Can you imagine what Gustave might learn while staying with her?!! How great would that be and what fun those two cute boys would have together!!! Isn't SM great - all these people from different places and walks of life always supporting one another in the most unexpected ways because of our shared love of the maltese breed.


Yes! He's gonna come back as a doggy tricks expert. 

It's true. I am so touched by all the love here, by everyone who offered to look after Gustave. There is no better place for him. And there is no better community for me. 


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## dntdelay (May 27, 2011)

That Barkley Pet Hotel looks great!! I would like to stay there myself!!!! I think Marissa's idea is the best!!!! If you lived in Illinois I would offer my home for your dog too, but you don't so I say go to Marissa's and Obi's house!!!!


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## Bailey&Me (Mar 8, 2010)

I totally feel your pain! I just came back from a two week trip to India. It was my first time visiting and it was absolutely amazing...but it was agonizing to leave Bailey behind for so long! He stayed with my parents and was extremely pampered by them so I knew he was fine but this was the first time I'd left him for that long so I was soooo worried. Anyways, back to the point - I would not think about taking Gustave with you to India. It is too long of a journey and way too much to figure out with travel, custom, his safety there, etc etc. Just go enjoy your wedding, spend time with your family and relax in India...and he will be just fine. Honestly, Marissa's offer is AMAZING and I hope it works out for her to watch Gustave...she is absolutely wonderful so you know he'll be in the best hands!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

I cannot think of a better place to stay than Marissa's (except for my house but we live in Virginia lol!). Seriously though I think us SM Mommies have to stick together and what a wonderful time Gustave would have with Marissa  . Hope yall can work it out. Maybe we should start a pet sitting network on SM, so that we can have SM Mommies across the world pitch in to help one another!


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

I'd send him to Camp Obi 

If you decide to send him to the Barkley place.... maybe ask if Marisa can be on his contact list in case something happens, or in case Gustave needs anything.

Lots of CA members  You are in luck.

But I know Marisa takes great care of Obi ... her DH too! So he'd be in good hands there with her  And if it's a few months out you guys could meet for play dates so the boys could get to know each other


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## SammieMom (Nov 13, 2010)

Marisa-Sammie is very jealous at the moment :smcry:he wants me to take Penny on a trip so he can go to Obi's boarding house........:wavetowel2:


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

Ship him to Texas! Auntie C and Steve would take excellent care of him! Haha. I hope it works out that Marisa can do it, but Marisa, you know you have to give him back!!


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## AshleyAndSophiePup (Aug 24, 2012)

Or to auntie Ashley and Sophie Bug


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## Dominic (Nov 4, 2012)

Bring Gugu over here and Dominic and I will take care of him. I work only a few hours a day and I work from home.


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

To bad you cant have everyone come to you instead of you going there!!!! If you lived closer to me I would babysit him in a heartbeat!!!!! But in all honesty I wouldnt take him with you,........................ Hugs to you


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