# I am torn, need advice please!



## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

Hi, I have a 4 year old Haley(maltese) and a 2 year old Nathan(morkie)
My husband owns a flooring business so he is in contact with many clients and builders. We aquired Nathan from a family that had an "oops":angry: with their maltese and yorkie. They had 2 puppies and just wanted good homes for them(thank goodness they had the mom fixed after she had the pups:aktion033 my hubby has a very soft heart when it comes to animals so he just showed up with Nathan without telling me!
Well to tell the truth I was not happy at all, I was actually looking at a show breeder close to me that I was directed to from the gals her at SM for a boy. Needless to say it was meant to be because Nathan is such a sweet mommas boy:wub: but goodness was he hard to potty train unlike Haley, lol.
Anyway now to my dilemma, a builder has a daughter in college that bought a maltese(I assume from a byb) its a boy his name is Sabastian and is 4 months old.
He told my hubby she does not spend much time with him and wanted to know if we were interested. My hubby having such a soft heart told him he would talk with me about it. 
He asked would it be okay for us to have a trial period and if he didn't do well with ours he would take him back no problem. We agreed and Sabastian is here with us. The thing is I really do not know if this is a good idea. Haley tolerates Nathan but she is not liking Sabastian at all.
We love to travel(New Orleans, Gatlinburg and the beach) and we go to the lake every weekend. 
Wouldn't having three be so much harder? I can't help but love the little guy and my heart breaks for him because if we give him back I don't know who he would end up with. Also it bothers me knowing it would be a third major change in his short life.
So what would ya'll do?

P.S sorry if I was all over the place and not making sense but stressed and sleep deprived, LOL!


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## CloudClan (Jan 31, 2007)

3 is not easy, but it can be made to work if you want it to. And it sounds like he is worth it. 

I am about to go on a long trip and you don't want to ask how many I am taking. 3 would be a small number. For sure traveling with 3 is harder than traveling with 1 or 2, but it is not impossible and there are things that you can do to make it easier on yourself.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Oh that is a tough decision. If you keep Sabastian, would you constantly regret not getting a show breeders Malt? If so, you may want to reconsider. I only have one, so I don't know if 3 would be much harder than your two. 

On the aside, my Mom works at Huntsville Hospital and she might be interested in rescuing a young Maltese (she had 2 beautiful boys Malts and loved them so much). My step father works at Toyota and rotates shifts, so there is almost always someone home at all times to spoil and cuddle with a precious little one. Just message me if that situation ever comes up and I can put you in contact with her or whatever. 

Good luck and I look forward to hearing what you decide.


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## aprilb (Jul 9, 2010)

I have 3 and all of them are from show breeders. It is more work, but since I am home all day, it is a joy..my DH and I do travel with all 3 and they are great travelers but I would not travel alone with that many. If you want one from a show breeder, then follow your heart..you can foster this little one, and find him a great home..dear Bridget has already given you a possibility. Good luck with your decision..


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## lols82 (Nov 13, 2012)

*snow!!*

wrong thread.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

CloudClan said:


> 3 is not easy, but it can be made to work if you want it to. And it sounds like he is worth it.
> 
> I am about to go on a long trip and you don't want to ask how many I am taking. 3 would be a small number. For sure traveling with 3 is harder than traveling with 1 or 2, but it is not impossible and there are things that you can do to make it easier on yourself.


Thank you Carina, he is such a sweet little boy with a lot of energy, lol. I am so use to just having two and it has upset Haley and Nathan. 
I try to invision having three right now but not sure how I will handle the situation with traveling. We have a routine and it is so easy. I am in awe with someone that can travel with more than 2 and only two adults!
BTW you were one of the gals I was talking about:thumbsup:


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

Summergirl73 said:


> Oh that is a tough decision. If you keep Sabastian, would you constantly regret not getting a show breeders Malt? If so, you may want to reconsider. I only have one, so I don't know if 3 would be much harder than your two.
> 
> On the aside, my Mom works at Huntsville Hospital and she might be interested in rescuing a young Maltese (she had 2 beautiful boys Malts and loved them so much). My step father works at Toyota and rotates shifts, so there is almost always someone home at all times to spoil and cuddle with a precious little one. Just message me if that situation ever comes up and I can put you in contact with her or whatever.
> 
> Good luck and I look forward to hearing what you decide.


Thank you Bridget, I have always said my next maltese would come from a show breeder since I found Spoiled Maltese right after getting Haley from a BYB and realized what I had done. Haley is my heart dog and very special to me but not knowing her background or history is scary.
Sabastian is such a sweet boy and just wants to be with us. Even though we have had him only for two days poor Haley and Nathan are not adjusting well and I feel like I betrayed them in a way. 
Sabastian needs so much attention and I feel awful that I'm not giving Haley and Nathan enough time.

What a small world! Huntsville Hospital is just down the street from us, we live in the Jones Valley area! I will pm you!


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

aprilb said:


> I have 3 and all of them are from show breeders. It is more work, but since I am home all day, it is a joy..my DH and I do travel with all 3 and they are great travelers but I would not travel alone with that many. If you want one from a show breeder, then follow your heart..you can foster this little one, and find him a great home..dear Bridget has already given you a possibility. Good luck with your decision..


Thank you April, Sabastian is such a sweet boy and I have a very hard decision to make. Like right now I have him in a crate at my feet, Haley is in my lap and Nathan seems to be wandering around going "what has happened?" We have a routine and it has been completely turned upside down. 
I guess it would be different if we were looking for another addition to our family but at this point we were happy with Haley and Nathan. I have some soul searching to do.....


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Try a rescue, they will place him in the right furever home. It's not terrible to do that. If he's not wanted and the girl doesn't have have time for him then he deserves a place where he will get attention. Rescues check people out and try to make the best match. If you take him back,you'll never know what happens to him.
I travel with 5 and it's a lot of work...
Try Southern Comfort Maltese Rescue.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

michellerobison said:


> Try a rescue, they will place him in the right furever home. It's not terrible to do that. If he's not wanted and the girl doesn't have have time for him then he deserves a place where he will get attention. Rescues check people out and try to make the best match. If you take him back,you'll never know what happens to him.
> I travel with 5 and it's a lot of work...
> Try Southern Comfort Maltese Rescue.


Thank you Michelle, that is my main issue, if we gave him back where would he end up? This is why I have been so torn up and took him in the first place. Poor baby all he wants is love and attention it just breaks my heart.


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## ladodd (Jan 8, 2012)

Your pups would probably adapt, but if it's totally upset your routine, maybe it's best to find the baby another home. Bridget's option sounds like it's meant to be. Good luck. I will be traveling this summer with three for the first time. But, we will have four skin adults to help.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

ladodd said:


> Your pups would probably adapt, but if it's totally upset your routine, maybe it's best to find the baby another home. Bridget's option sounds like it's meant to be. Good luck. I will be traveling this summer with three for the first time. But, we will have four skin adults to help.


Thank you Laurie, it has only been two days but yes our routine is totally out of whack, lol. If we had been planning for another puppy the situation would be different but I keep thinking is he meant to be ours? I'm big on things happen for a reason but just not sure if he is to be with us or a different path.
We are going to New Orleans on April 6-10, Haley and Nathan have been numerous times and it has become routine. I have been going over in my mind how having a third will change things and how we will handle it:w00t:


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

I have three and love them soooo much!!!! Yes lots of work but its soooo worth it!!! Plus to make my life easier I have a stroller when we go out!!!! and you will need to get a car seat that can hold the three!!!!


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## IvysMom (Dec 24, 2012)

HaleysMom said:


> but I keep thinking is he meant to be ours? I'm big on things happen for a reason but just not sure if he is to be with us or a different path.


 
Maybe things have happened for a reason. Maybe you are the connection between where the little guy came from and where he is meant to be, with Bridget's mom. It is more than an ENORMOUS coincidence that there is someone right down the street from you who might be interested in Sebastian.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

maltese manica said:


> I have three and love them soooo much!!!! Yes lots of work but its soooo worth it!!! Plus to make my life easier I have a stroller when we go out!!!! and you will need to get a car seat that can hold the three!!!!


Thank you Janene, the little guy has already wormed his way into my heart. Maltese are just special, all he wants is to be with us and all that energy! Haley and Nathan are laid back, they do the zoomies but Sabastian has all that puppy energy. Poor Nathan, he is in full coat and Sabastian loves his long hair to get a hold of!
Good idea with a stroller and can't forget a car`seat. Hubby crated him on the drive home.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Since you simply cannot take in every dog who needs a home, maybe someone else can take this one. It is a fourteen year long commitment that will change your life. If you feel even the slightest hesitation, you should not do it. 

I don't think Sabastian will be traumatized by another move, little doggies can adapt.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

Sylie said:


> Since you simply cannot take in every dog who needs a home, maybe someone else can take this one. It is a fourteen year long commitment that will change your life. If you feel even the slightest hesitation, you should not do it.
> 
> I don't think Sabastian will be traumatized by another move, little doggies can adapt.


Thank you Sylvia, What you stated has been going through my mind. Am I ready for another puppy? How much will it change? What impact will it have on Haley and Nathan? Is this the right thing to do?
I have some serious soul searching to do....


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I think going from two to three is a very big change especially if it's not planned. Besides all the work involved, there are also the medical issues or vet costs. I'd say if you were planning on three living with you right now than fate made this happen. If not, maybe fate made it happen so that Bridget's mom would end up with him. 
I think you are feeling guilty about giving him back but again, he's not in a horrible pet store or BYB - he's with someone and if you don't keep him some other loving family may get the one little puppy they want. If your heart isn't into it 100% I worry that you will regret it later. :huh: JMO


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## luvsmalts (Oct 21, 2008)

Wow you must be a doggy magnet all those adorable pups seem to find you. Good luck with your decision.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

Snowbody said:


> I think going from two to three is a very big change especially if it's not planned. Besides all the work involved, there are also the medical issues or vet costs. I'd say if you were planning on three living with you right now than fate made this happen. If not, maybe fate made it happen so that Bridget's mom would end up with him.
> I think you are feeling guilty about giving him back but again, he's not in a horrible pet store or BYB - he's with someone and if you don't keep him some other loving family may get the one little puppy they want. If your heart isn't into it 100% I worry that you will regret it later. :huh: JMO


Thanks Susan, that is the problem...my heart. I have bonded with him and he is such a little love bug:wub:
Yes, I really do not want to give him back to be sold to someone but like you pointed out another loving family may be out there for him.
I am just so torn, I even cried thinking about not keeping him. What is it about these little white precious dogs that you fall in love with them instantly?
If we keep him I will definitely be looking into pet insurance and we are lucky to be able to provide for them.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

luvsmalts said:


> Wow you must be a doggy magnet all those adorable pups seem to find you. Good luck with your decision.


Thank you! On my husband phone background is a picture of me and our fluffs which he will show and tell anyone who will look/listen!:HistericalSmiley: This is from a man that did not like dogs and we only had cats until Haley. 
All his builders know he is a sap when it comes to animals but no more for awhile, LOL!


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

IvysMom said:


> Maybe things have happened for a reason. Maybe you are the connection between where the little guy came from and where he is meant to be, with Bridget's mom. It is more than an ENORMOUS coincidence that there is someone right down the street from you who might be interested in Sebastian.


 
Thank you, I am a big believer on things happen for a reason


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Once you get a chance to think clearly about all the options you will know what you really feels like the right choice for you. 
Just some thoughts.....If you found him a safe and happy home tomorrow would you be content to give him up? 
If you kept him you do have 2 people to care for them all, so that's a big help I think if expense is not an issue and there's a good chance they will all get along, the change might be a good thing because you will develop a new routine that works for you. Good luck and let us know how things are going.


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

Maglily said:


> Once you get a chance to think clearly about all the options you will know what you really feels like the right choice for you.
> Just some thoughts.....If you found him a safe and happy home tomorrow would you be content to give him up?
> If you kept him you do have 2 people to care for them all, so that's a big help I think if expense is not an issue and there's a good chance they will all get along, the change might be a good thing because you will develop a new routine that works for you. Good luck and let us know how things are going.


Thank you Brenda, hmm that is a good question. As of right this minute half of me would and half would not. I think if it was someone I knew(or from other resources like SM) I would probably lean toward not keeping him but to tell you the truth I am honestly torn. There is a part of me that says NO! keep him but I have to think with my head and not so much with my heart.
As of right now I am a stay at home mom, my husband and 2 older skin kids that will help when they are not at school or work but realistically it would be mostly on me until husband came home from work.
Haley has already put him in his place and he keeps a distance from her. Nathan is kind of scared of him because Sabastian keeps pulling on his hair(he is in full coat) when they play. 
I have been keeping them seperated by a baby gate and crate. I let him out to play with the other two for very short periods and keep an eagle eye on them. The thing I find hard is balancing the time between the three of them. Since he is still a baby he needs training, attention and love but I do not want the other two to feel replaced so I have been making sure to give each one extra attention.


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

There's is no harm in trying to find him a good home! I'm sure there is someone out there who would be beyond thrilled to have him! And you have the luxury that you can take your time and be picky. I think you should put out the feelers and try to find him a home. You shouldn't feel bad about that. Three dogs is a lot of work that you did not sign up for. And I can tell you if you find him the right spot you're heart will feel so full! And post pix of the little guy!!!!


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## HaleysMom (Jun 4, 2009)

StevieB said:


> There's is no harm in trying to find him a good home! I'm sure there is someone out there who would be beyond thrilled to have him! And you have the luxury that you can take your time and be picky. I think you should put out the feelers and try to find him a home. You shouldn't feel bad about that. Three dogs is a lot of work that you did not sign up for. And I can tell you if you find him the right spot you're heart will feel so full! And post pix of the little guy!!!!


Thank you Celeta( I love your name! Kind of like mine but different just replace the t with an n) They have called today to see how things were going. I just hope they do not have someone they want to sell him to since we did not pay anything for him. That is the one of the main reason I am worried about!
I am awful with posting pics and not great with computers. Haley is 4 now and in full coat, my sig and profile are of her when she was a baby! My son did that for me, LOL! If I can get him to help I will post a new pic of all three:thumbsup:


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