# I dislike him!



## pompomsmom (Jan 8, 2006)

Another vent, please feel free to skip. I am so mad at him again. Why oh why must I go through this. I don't feel I deserve this. He came over to pick up more of his stuff, and he asked me how I would feel if he brought a girl over to his place for a week-end??????????????????? WTF. I know he has to be thinking of the one he cheated with, she lives 4 hours away. Then he said it's not her, it's someone new????? I can't believe how quickly he is getting over this 13 years marriage. I told him, can't you keep it in your pants until we are divorced????? He said no. He won't tell me anything about this new girly. I just get so upset, even though I would NEVER take him back. I am not done grieving this relationship, and he is going around already dating another girly?????????????????? I said "make sure you tell the first girly about this second girly, so they all know about eachother". And make sure you tell anyone you date that you cheated on your wife and start dating 3 days after moving out. What a J..k. I should be happy, it reinforces the fact that I want nothing to do with him anymore. I will get myself the best lawyer in town (according to a divorced friend) and be done with this chapter of my life. 

I'm so sorry, it feels good to let it out.

Diane and Pompom


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

Feel free to vent away! I know this is very hard for you. The same thing happened to me in my first marriage. I felt the same way like, why was this happening to me??







I felt like it was my fault somehow. I didn't know how to function at all. I must say I think it was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life! Are you talking to a therapist? I did and thank god...I think that was the only way I got through it. Give yourself time. Please feel free to vent anytime you need to!


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## ShilohsMom (Jun 25, 2007)

> Another vent, please feel free to skip. I am so mad at him again. Why oh why must I go through this. I don't feel I deserve this. He came over to pick up more of his stuff, and he asked me how I would feel if he brought a girl over to his place for a week-end??????????????????? WTF. I know he has to be thinking of the one he cheated with, she lives 4 hours away. Then he said it's not her, it's someone new????? I can't believe how quickly he is getting over this 13 years marriage. I told him, can't you keep it in your pants until we are divorced????? He said no. He won't tell me anything about this new girly. I just get so upset, even though I would NEVER take him back. I am not done grieving this relationship, and he is going around already dating another girly?????????????????? I said "make sure you tell the first girly about this second girly, so they all know about eachother". And make sure you tell anyone you date that you cheated on your wife and start dating 3 days after moving out. What a J..k. I should be happy, it reinforces the fact that I want nothing to do with him anymore. I will get myself the best lawyer in town (according to a divorced friend) and be done with this chapter of my life.
> 
> I'm so sorry, it feels good to let it out.
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Why is he discussing this with you at all-- to rub it in your face or to get your permission to commit adultery??? I am sorry but this guy is a freak show. Put him out of your mind and your heart as much as you can. The sooner you get your attorney the better. I am so sorry this is happening to you.


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## THE GiZ&THE CHAR (Dec 14, 2006)

Why would he ask you that? he didn't ask you for permission when he cheated on you. Seriously, he's purposely trying to push your buttons. Don't let him get to you and if it does, don't let him see it.

Take care.


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## LMJ (Feb 16, 2006)

> Why would he ask you that? he didn't ask you for permission when he cheated on you. Seriously, he's purposely trying to push your buttons. Don't let him get to you and if it does, don't let him see it.
> 
> Take care.[/B]



I agree, just tell him "Sure" and leave it at that. I bet it would surprise him. It would let him know that you're over him and burst his ego bubble. He's playing with whatever power he thinks he still has over you emotionally. 

Just make sure (if possible) that he doesn't have someone over for the weekend when you children are there.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Why is he even mentioning it to you.







It is actually considered adultry until you are legally separated. He is hurting "his case" by doing dating. 

And the rubbing it in your face like that. These men have no shame. My former husband had taken his new woman on a cruise and then he came over to the house for something and wore a T-shirt with the logo, etc. of the cruise line.







AND over Thanksgiving when he was still living in our house he said he was going somewhere secret with "her". So I went out of town by myself. When I got home there were all these strange foods in the cupboard... all this exotic gourmet stuff.... from their weekend at his dad's beach home.







Like I want their food in my house!!! NOT!

Anyway, I'm ranting!! But I totally understand your anger!!


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

Of course you don't deserve this. . . . . You deserve MUCH better! I'm sorry you're having to go through all this mess. One positive way to look at this is that it's better that you found out the truth about this guy now instead of years from now.



Joy


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

You know what ????????????????








I hate him too ???

What a low class piece of #$%# - you are much better than him and more deserving - obviously he's trying to push a few too many buttons. You did well - I would have done the same by telling him to make sure #2 & #3 know about each other.

I wouldn't let him come back inside the house - I'd take ALL his stuff and put it near the curb very close to the gutter and call him and tell him to come and pick them up from there before the garbage truck comes through.

Seriously - you don't need him obviously !!!


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

I would have Bit*h slapped him








What nerve, I am so sorry...
ANDREA


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

> I would have Bit*h slapped him
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- I am laughing at the emotions ... not at the situation - sorry !!


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Vent away, Diane! And then you call the best lawyer is the state of California and divorce that jerk.


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## Cosy (Feb 9, 2006)

If there is any way you can avoid speaking with him about anything but the children I would do so. This is not the time for him to chit chat with you. Keeping him and his many conquests out of your life empowers you. 

By the way, it's fairly common for men to grieve little and move on very quickly. Do not feel alone.


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## MickeysMom (Jun 16, 2006)

Once you start to show him you have moved on and don't care anymore, his attitude will change. 

I am so so so sorry you are going thru this


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

> Why is he discussing this with you at all-- to rub it in your face or to get your permission to commit adultery??? I am sorry but this guy is a freak show. Put him out of your mind and your heart as much as you can. The sooner you get your attorney the better. I am so sorry this is happening to you.[/B]


 

ditto. It looks like he likes to hurt you.


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## suTQ (Jul 13, 2006)

Yes, he is a JACK**S!!! You should also keep a notebook and write down the dates of all your conversations with him since he first dropped the bomb on you---documentation is HUGE when it comes to legal battles (it might help with the custody and support issues). I am so sorry that you are going through this, but vent away....


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

> I would have Bit*h slapped him
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Same here .... what a Jerk!


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

Don't worry - WE ALL HATE HIM TOO . Fingers crossed IT drops off , from over use . Sarah


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

> Don't worry - WE ALL HATE HIM TOO . Fingers crossed IT drops off , from over use . Sarah
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@ drops off ... your's classic oneliners kill me .... and comedy sarcasm like me ..


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

> If there is any way you can avoid speaking with him about anything but the children I would do so. This is not the time for him to chit chat with you. Keeping him and his many conquests out of your life empowers you.
> 
> By the way, it's fairly common for men to grieve little and move on very quickly. Do not feel alone.[/B]


AMEN to that. 

Don't even talk to that fool--tell him you'll speak through attornies only. He probably gets some cheap thrills from pushing your buttons like that.

When the kids weren't looking I'd have told him to kiss your a$$ and slammed the door in his face. DH doesn't stand for "dear husband" any more it stands for "dick head".....


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

Personally I think perhaps the first woman dumped him as soon as she found out he was out of your home, she only wanted a fling and isn't prepared to give up her home life no doubt, so now he is supposedly dating a new one, I wouldn't be surprised if he is b/sing you just to get your reaction. If that were me I would just laugh in his face and not let him see he is pulling your stings. What a sadistic #[email protected]%&@* he is. You and your children are better off without him in your home, that's for sure.
I agree, you should get your attorney and divorce the jerk and go for the maximum child support, that should wipe the smirk off his face. 
I also hope his p***er shrivels up and drops off with some horrible disease.







What a no brainer he has become grrrrrrrrrrrr
Vent away, if it makes you feel better, we are here to support you as much as we can


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

I'm looking forward to the day he either realizes he has a VD or that he made a mistake leaving you in the first place. It's such a satisfying feeling.

What a jerk. Why don't you take up racquet ball (that's what I did back then). You see the ball coming at you (and you think of his head) and slam that ball as hard as you can. It's only racquetball - the ball just keeps bouncing and you can slam it again and again.







geez, where did that come from? Sorry, I'm ranting now.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

GOOD FOR YOU TO VENT!!!














and getting a GOOD LAWYER - YEAH!!
What a jerk he's being - BE STRONG!


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## pompomsmom (Jan 8, 2006)

I knew I could count on all of you! You have made me smile for the first time in a while! Thank you so much. He said after asking me how I would feel if he had a girl over the week-end that he may have someone else, and wanted to see where "we stand"?????????????????????? One of you got it right when you said he wanted to control me in the little way he still can. He has always controlled my emotions. And I guess I let him. If he suggested something such as going out to dinner, and I got happy, he would say that I'm too happy, that he would cancel. Stupid stuff like that. I have learned to be "flat". I just got a lightbulb moment. I have been "happy" these last few days. I went to the beach with the kids, went for walks with them, have been in a good mood when he called etc... He even commented that I never did that with him around. I think he feels like he is loosing control, therefore, threw this at me this morning. I shouldn't have reacted. You guys are right, he probably did it to "even out" my mood like he always did. Well, I am learning. Next time, I will say "good for you". I am including in the divorce (if possible) something along the lines of " you may not expose the kids to any girl unless you have been dating for at least 6 months" He does love the kids and want the best for them. He came back a while ago, saying he wants to help me get through this, that we will be fine, we'll sell the house and (of course see attorneys). I believe 2% of what he tells me...

I am leaving for Canada on Friday with the 2 kids for 10 days. I was born in Montreal, so my family is all up there. I will stay with my sister and also at my mom's. Here is the good part... my mom wants a Maltese!! I called a very nice breeder today, she has a dog from Suzi Pham, we have an appointment on Monday afternoon to go meet with her!! I am so excited, my vacation will do me and the kids a lot of good. Then I will come back empowered, ready to face the inevitable...

Thanks again everyone!

Diane and Pompom


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Oh, gosh when you were talking about controlling... your DH (duck head) sounds like my former DH (duck head). I had to ask him for everything... like if I wanted dessert, I had to ask his permission!!







I pretty much wasn't allowed to have any opinion of my own or any input in anything in our life.

Just be prepared that he may want to come back. Mine did that. I had a trip planned to Hawaii to visit a friend. I had my bags at the door... ready to leave early the next morning. He came over the night before and said he wanted to get back together. So I cancelled my trip







and let him come back. Of course he spent the night at "their" house a couple days until he could tell her.







Then he came home, never had his heart in it and then left again for good a couple weeks later. 

It will likely drive your DH crazy that you are happy and can live a good life without him. From what you are saying about him controlling your emotions, etc. I know you are going to be much, much better without him. You will thrive with your new-found freedom to be the real you.


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## pompomsmom (Jan 8, 2006)

> Oh, gosh when you were talking about controlling... your DH (duck head) sounds like my former DH (duck head). I had to ask him for everything... like if I wanted dessert, I had to ask his permission!!
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He told me this morning he wants me to start dating, that it would be good for me?? Excuse me, but I am NOT going to start dating!!!!!! He is crazy! We haven't even seen a lawyer yet! I am sooooooooo far from being ready to start something new! I want to be alone for a long time, to get to know myself again. I can't believe he thinks the way he does... I doubt he will try to come back. He talks like such a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Well, I wouldn't take him back anyway, I would be a fool...

Diane and Pompom


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=400760
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Ugh, how condescending of him. [attachment=24320:attachment] It will drive him crazy to see that you can be happy without him.....


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## totallytotontuffy (May 16, 2007)

Ditto what everyone has already said. I know it's so hard to shut your anger and hurt off but having these kind of conversations with him will only hurt you more. When he told you that you should start dating you should have either said "thanks for your concern, I plan to", or "my dating life is none of your business and I think we need to limit our conversations to the children and finalizing our divorce". I know a part of you wants him back or is still caught up in the drama, but you have to force yourself to do what is best for your future. 

How dare he manipulate you and punish you by canceling dinner plans because you acted too happy. I'm sure you can recall a million other instances that he was mentally abusive to you. Write them all down and go back and keep reading them. After awhile, the only thing you will feel about girly 1,2,3,4 to whatever, is extreme pity because you know what is in store for them. And you will feel great relief that he won't be doing it to you anymore.


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

Diane,



I just feel so awful for you. You are where I was during my first marriage. Stay true to yourself, move ahead, sometimes tiny steps at a time and you can come out of all this hurt, anger and pain.



God bless you!
Melanie


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

Wow-what an a**! I'm so sorry you are going through this. You have all the right in the world to vent. We are here for you!


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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

> Yes, he is a JACK**S!!! You should also keep a notebook and write down the dates of all your conversations with him since he first dropped the bomb on you---documentation is HUGE when it comes to legal battles (it might help with the custody and support issues). I am so sorry that you are going through this, but vent away....[/B]



Very good idea. It's real hard to dispute dates, times, and explicate conversations. DH may get natsy when he realizes he can't control you anymore. Your're right, you need time to find yourself, and figure out what you want. Have a wonderful time on vacation with your family. Put all of this behind you, at least for a little while.


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## TheButtercup (Mar 3, 2005)

oh i dislike this man more and more each post. like everyone else has suggested:

DOCUMENT. DOCUMENT. 
FREAKING DOCUMENT!

buy the girliest, frilliest, prettiest notebook you can find, and document the bejeezus out of every single encounter. the reason he wants you to date again... is so he can come back in court and say "well SHE started dating RIGHT AWAY!!!!". don't let him have that. he has no idea he is setting himself up for a lifetime of regret. and it's not your place to point that out to him. that's what our legal system is for. 

you go, girl!

ann marie and the "we got your back, sister!" buttercup


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## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

Stay strong - You are completely right on to want to get to know yourself again and returning to your roots and people who will always love and treasure you is a good start


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

Sorry you are going through this! Stay strong and dont let whatever he says or does get to you! It is what he wants! The last thing that he wants is to see you happy! Have a great trip with the kids!


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## Sassy&Alyssa (Aug 29, 2006)

What a $%&!#! I am sorry he is making you feel so mad. I think what you need to do is start ignoring him, and start focusing on yourself and your children. I think he is just trying to make you feel guilty but you have nothing to be guilty for. ((hugs)) I wish you luck!


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)




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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

If you have time I would also consider changing the locks on the house before you go away on your trip too, and also if you have an attorney make sure you point out that you are going on a holiday to visit family, give him dates and also the date that your ex moved out of the house, you need to be ahead of him 100% and try to think how he may react.
He could very well move back in while you are gone and say you ran out on him. Don't trust him, don't tell him anything about your business from now on, tell him if he wants to know anything other than what concerns the children he can speak to your lawyer. Treat him with all the contempt he deserves. Telling you to start dating was a ploy, nothing more than to give him grounds to counter anything you have on him.
Just my opinion.
It sounds to me like you are enjoying your freedom, good for you, and also enjoying quality time with the children, that is great. I think you are well on your way to being happier now than you have ever been with him trying to control you. I really admire your great spirit


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

> If you have time I would also consider changing the locks on the house before you go away on your trip too, and also if you have an attorney make sure you point out that you are going on a holiday to visit family, give him dates and also the date that your ex moved out of the house, you need to be ahead of him 100% and try to think how he may react.
> He could very well move back in while you are gone and say you ran out on him. Don't trust him, don't tell him anything about your business from now on, tell him if he wants to know anything other than what concerns the children he can speak to your lawyer. Treat him with all the contempt he deserves. Telling you to start dating was a ploy, nothing more than to give him grounds to counter anything you have on him.
> Just my opinion.
> It sounds to me like you are enjoying your freedom, good for you, and also enjoying quality time with the children, that is great. I think you are well on your way to being happier now than you have ever been with him trying to control you. I really admire your great spirit
> ...


As I was catching up on this thread, I was thinking the same thing about changing the locks. I wouldn't worry so much that he'll move back in, but I'd be concerned that he'd take stuff without permission. I really do hope you will get the legal paperwork started asap.


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=400760
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DO NOT, and I mean do NOT start dating at all until the ink is dry on your divorce papers. Your husband may have spoken with a lawyer and could be trying to set you up.PLEASE be careful, the most innocent thing you could do now may come back to haunt you later in court.

I am not trying to scare you or put you on edge... I just really wish to be of help to you.
I am to thankful you changed the Topic Title... "hate" is such a strong word and brings negitive karma towards one that feels it. DISLIKE is so much better, I feel. And NO this isn't church. Just Earth.
Enjoy your vacation and your family.

God Bless,

Melanie


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## pompomsmom (Jan 8, 2006)

I really don't think he is trying to set me up when he tells me to date. He sees how hard this is for me, he has moved on, he wants me to be happy and do the same. CA is a no fault state. And everything is split 50/50. I am not worried about him taking anything from the house. He is actually going to stay here the first night after I leave on my trip to babysit Pompom, since my friend can only pick him up on Saturday. He wants to help with everything, he just doesn't want to be married anymore and have the freedom to date. In his mind we are already "divorced" so he feels like he is doing nothing wrong by dating. I just have a hard time, since things are still so fresh. He is really not a monster, even though when I am upset I talk as though he is. It's probably not fair to him, but I come here to vent, and I only vent when I'm upset, so I say the worst things about him. I will never forgive him for what he has done, but hopefully I can move to a place where I am ok with him moving on, even though I don't want him back. 

I am going on my trip with a clear head, going to have much fun, when I come back I will deal with it all, get my lawyer etc...

thanks everyone, I am not defending him at all, I just feel like I have been quite mean about him....

I am rambling....!

Diane and Pompom


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## puppymom (Jun 13, 2005)

Look at the bright side......... he's making it soooooooooooooo much easier for you to get a shark lawyer and take him for all you can get from him. 

By the way, it's ok to STONGLY DISLIKE your ex


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Diane, I think your emotions and feelings about him are likely to go from hate -- to dislike -- to like -- to hate -- many times during this process. Your situation just reminds me so much of mine that I can't help but comment. 

I remember my friends telling me to be strong and look out for myself in the setttlement, etc. and everyone was saying bad things about him. But I found myself taking up for him because it is hard to love someone and be loyal to someone one day and do a total 180 the next. 

Your husband reminds me so much of mine.... manipulative, controlling, charismatic ..... they are so good at controlling the situation. My former husband finally went sort of berserk when I finally was strong and stood up to him. Luckily, it was only over the phone ... I would hated to have been in the room with him during his outburst. But then I think his outburst and threat of suicide was just another form of control. 

Your husband is probably suggesting that you date because he is likely to be quite guilt-ridden and if you are dating, it will take some of that away. You say, maybe in _his_ mind you are divorced already. But by law you aren't. In my state a couple is free to date only once the separation agreement is signed. 

This is the type of crazy logic my former husband would come up with .... telling you to date and then if you do, he will surely bring it back in your face if you ever confront him about what he did. Sort of like your saying "Well you dated during our marriage, how horrible of you!" And then he says "Well, so did you."


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

I haven't read all the newest posts today, but I am definitely in a "man hater" mood today - so I say go for the juggler - take him for a financial ride, just like the emotional ride he's taken you on!

Sorry - it's just that I've had a bad day with my man today also. GRRRRRR!!!








NEVER AGAIN!


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## Princess D (May 16, 2007)

I am really sorry for what you are going through. I know from my own experience how painful going through a divorce is. My 1st husband moved from Ohio to South Carolina one day without telling me. We were not fighting or anything, he just decided to go. The kicker was that we had a 2 year old and I was 2 days overdue from delivering our daughter. She was born 2 days after he left and he didn't even call to see if she was fine or what her name was for 6 weeks and even then he had his sister call to see if I would talk to him. I was so hurt and upset because even though I called him, he never called back. I don't know why I ever trusted him enough to have a 2nd child with him, he left me and moved in with his sister about 1 1/2 hour away when I was about 8 months pregnant with our 1st child and he didn't call then either, even though my baby had to have surgery right after he was born. He left because he had a drug/alcohol problem and he could go and get as screwed up with his sister and the rest of his screwed up family. We were on and off for the next 4 years, but there was never any trust and I harbored the anger and fear of abandonment. To make a long story short, I have remarried (6 years now), my DH has adopted my 13 and 10 year old and we now have a 3 year old







. My children are the best thing that came from the relationship (and the ex's vasectomy). He now knows what he lost and I am sure he regrets it, he has spent a year in jail for drugs, and is missing out on 2 wonderful kids. I will always have the scars, but maybe I am a better person for it somehow.


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## nonesuchandnadu (Mar 4, 2007)

I rarely post. Mostly just read look at pictures. But a site that might help you out is www.survivinginfidelity.com.

It has a forum for people to help one another get through this kind of thing - whether you want to divorce or try to save a marriage. It kept me sane a few years ago.


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## pompomsmom (Jan 8, 2006)

> I rarely post. Mostly just read look at pictures. But a site that might help you out is www.survivinginfidelity.com.
> 
> It has a forum for people to help one another get through this kind of thing - whether you want to divorce or try to save a marriage. It kept me sane a few years ago.[/B]


Thank you so much, I will go check out the site and bookmark it!



> I haven't read all the newest posts today, but I am definitely in a "man hater" mood today - so I say go for the juggler - take him for a financial ride, just like the emotional ride he's taken you on!
> 
> Sorry - it's just that I've had a bad day with my man today also. GRRRRRR!!!
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Oh no! So sorry you are having a bad day














Hopefully tomorrow will be a new and better day for you.

Diane and Pompom



> I am really sorry for what you are going through. I know from my own experience how painful going through a divorce is. My 1st husband moved from Ohio to South Carolina one day without telling me. We were not fighting or anything, he just decided to go. The kicker was that we had a 2 year old and I was 2 days overdue from delivering our daughter. She was born 2 days after he left and he didn't even call to see if she was fine or what her name was for 6 weeks and even then he had his sister call to see if I would talk to him. I was so hurt and upset because even though I called him, he never called back. I don't know why I ever trusted him enough to have a 2nd child with him, he left me and moved in with his sister about 1 1/2 hour away when I was about 8 months pregnant with our 1st child and he didn't call then either, even though my baby had to have surgery right after he was born. He left because he had a drug/alcohol problem and he could go and get as screwed up with his sister and the rest of his screwed up family. We were on and off for the next 4 years, but there was never any trust and I harbored the anger and fear of abandonment. To make a long story short, I have remarried (6 years now), my DH has adopted my 13 and 10 year old and we now have a 3 year old
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It is terrible what you had to go through. I am so glad you found someone else, and were able to have another child with him! There is hope for me!

Diane and Pompom



> Diane, I think your emotions and feelings about him are likely to go from hate -- to dislike -- to like -- to hate -- many times during this process. Your situation just reminds me so much of mine that I can't help but comment.
> 
> I remember my friends telling me to be strong and look out for myself in the setttlement, etc. and everyone was saying bad things about him. But I found myself taking up for him because it is hard to love someone and be loyal to someone one day and do a total 180 the next.
> 
> ...


You are soooo right about the feelings. This evening we went to the beach to watch the fireworks (we left early because it was sooooooooo cold and very foggy). But somehow I felt sad after he dropped us off at home and brought a few more things with him to "his" house. It must be my PMS kicking in...
You are also right about him feeling guilty. I know he does. He hasn't called his parents in a couple weeks now, that is so unlike him. I know he feels guilty about what he has done/is doing. 

I leave in 2 days, and can't wait!!!!!!!!

Diane and Pompom

(wow! Cool! How did I get all the responses in one post!! I thought they were going to be seperate! This is even better!)


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## babygirlmom (Jul 3, 2007)

Hang in there Pompom...I totally understand the pain you are going through. My ex has multiple partners throughout our marriage & drug me through a lot of embarrassing moments since everyone where he worked knew about it but me! One of he affairs being with someone he worked with. We had been married for some time with two children. He remarried not too long after our divorce & his new wife called me up a few years after they were married and asked me if he had ever cheated on me during our marriage. What a dumb question when she was one of the ones he cheated with...uh...duh! And this woman was college educated! I hope you can find someone worthy of your love & have a happy life & put this horrible chapter behind you! Best to you!


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## Princess D (May 16, 2007)

The hardest thing for me was learning to trust again. I still have trust issues and for the longest time I had a tendency to test and push my DH away, to see if he would just go. I was really emotionally and mentally a mess for a long time. Even though DH is no saint, he has been a huge part of getting me to find out who I am again and what I like and want. I am not afraid to say what is on my mind like I use to be, geez if I said something to 'upset' the ex it would be a reason for him to leave. (He use to do that to, leave for a few days/weeks). I felt like I was walking on eggshells. It was really hurtful and a serious form of mental and emotional abuse. Stay strong and don't let him know how much he has/is hurting you, that gives him too much power over you. I will keep you and your children in my prayers







You are a wonderful person and mother and when you are ready there is hope for you.


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

The most important thing my attorney said to me when I divorced my first hubby was this.....................*treat every aspect of the divorce as a business deal. *You may have days when you feel less angry with your almost ex and forget that as soon as this is signed by the judge it is final. Don't let your heart interfer with a life long settlement. What you had was a "partnership" and you are now ending the "deal." Treat it as if you would a business deal with anyone else.....with your head not your heart.


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