# Update



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

Update: Nikko's back in the ICU and in an incubator. Test results may not be back until tomorrow morning but the next 24 hrs are critical. As for me, I'm mostly just floating around trying to make sense of it somehow and waiting.


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I'm so very sorry. Is he in heart failure again? I'm praying that they'll help him and get rid of the fluid to lessen the strain on his heart. Try to breathe and please keep us updated. :grouphug: We're here for you.


----------



## munchkn8835 (May 23, 2010)

Praying!


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

Yeah, heart failure again... best case scenario is that the tests tonight tell us that we up his meds and he comes home and we hope to get more time together before reaching the point where the meds aren't enough. Worst case, the tests tell us that we've reached that point. I'm so beyond beside myself right now... I grew up with a maltese but hadn't lived with him for several years before he died (and he was visibly sick for years), but Nikko is all mine and with my being unemployed, we're together literally 24/7. Am just so so afraid of what the tests will show


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

OH my god im so so sorry please i am here im going through something and all you guys are so wonderfu;l i am blessed to have found this web site praying for you .


love 

Anna and Luna oxox


----------



## socalyte (Nov 15, 2010)

Sending up prayers on behalf of sweet Nikko. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Try hard to think positive. My mom had heart failure and went in and out of these episodes for years. It's a big balancing game but she was able to manage it most of the time and have a good quality of life. Don't give up. Whatever happens, you just want what's best for Nikko.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*update:* bits of improvement are happening but we don't yet know what they mean or if they indicate anything. the next 8 hrs are majorly critical as we wait and see if his body will rest and grow stronger while the nurses and doctors stand by. so for now, I can only trust their expertise and continue to send every ounce of my strength to him.


----------



## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

munchkin1616 said:


> *update:* bits of improvement are happening but we don't yet know what they mean or if they indicate anything. the next 8 hrs are majorly critical as we wait and see if his body will rest and grow stronger while the nurses and doctors stand by. so for now, I can only trust their expertise and continue to send every ounce of my strength to him.


 
Oh bless your heart. I am so sorry I didn't know your baby was ill. My Flakey had CHF.

How old is your baby? Praying so hard, I am so glad their is a bit of improvement. I am praying so hard. I hope you can feel all our love and prayers.


----------



## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Prayers for you and Nikko.


----------



## TLR (Nov 13, 2011)

Prayers for both of you


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Hang in there lady! Thoughts are w/you.


----------



## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Praying for Little Nikko. Hope he recovers and gives you many more years of love!


----------



## lynda (Oct 11, 2005)

I am sending positive thoughts and lots of prayers for you both.rayer:rayer:rayer:


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Oh, Donna ... I wish I could give you a hug. And, Nikko, too. 

Please know my prayers and heart are with both of you. I am thinking very positive for Nikko.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

Not sure if it's horribly greedy of me to hope for positive test results and such today... He's just turned 14 and I have had 7 wonderful years since I rescued him (and he me) and 6 incredible weeks since his first crisis... I don't know if that means these were meant to be the 6 bonus weeks I had or if I'll be lucky enough to get more. I don't mean to be so greedy with the world, those 6 weeks are worth more than gold... trying to find a place in myself of being able to accept whatever comes, but I don't know how to do that.

I just try to keep breathing... since I can't find it in myself to eat or to sleep, I guess breathing will have to be sufficient somehow. (Please do know though that it helps me so so much to read your messages... I'm now living in a place where he has been my biggest source of support, so I'm feeling pretty solo right now, you guys are really really incredible for helping to combat that)


----------



## njdrake (Apr 23, 2007)

I'm so sorry. I know this is heartbreaking for you. 
We'll be sending prayers and good thoughts. 
Please let us know what you find out. 
hugs


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*update: he's improving a little at a time, for now he'll continue on as is on the IV meds in the oxygen cage and  I'll find out around 4pm if he's strong enough for me to visit (since he has to be strong enough to handle the excitement that comes with seeing me). right now, no news is good news, so I'm just waiting. am beyond grateful for the messages and such that you're leaving, all of my strength is being given to him, so you guys are keeping me quasi-sane.*


----------



## MoonDog (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm thinking of you and little Nikko and you'll remain in my prayers.


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

prayers and positive thoughts for you and your baby oxoxoxoxo


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

UPDATE:he's still stable, next blood work is at 9 and next scheduled oxygen decrease will be at 10, not allowed to visit him yet but maybe at 9 or 10, so for now, more waiting and sending him every ounce of my energy.


----------



## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

munchkin1616 said:


> UPDATE:he's still stable, next blood work is at 9 and next scheduled oxygen decrease will be at 10, not allowed to visit him yet but maybe at 9 or 10, so for now, more waiting and sending him every ounce of my energy.


 
Bless him and you. Oh it must be so hard not to be with him, but as hard as it is, it's probably best as he may get so excited to see you.

Sending huge prayers.


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Sounds like things are improving a little at a time. Just want you to know that i'm thinking of both of you and praying Nikko will rally. Hope you get to see him tonight. Give him a hug from all of his SM Aunts if you can. :grouphug:


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

If I let myself be logical, when the time does come (which will hopefully not be so soon), part of me feels like I'd want to adopt a rescue maltese immediately, that not only would my pain be easier but someone else would get the love that Nikko's been getting after a rough start. And I worry about not being permitted to do that since I live in an apartment and don't have much in savings and I know so many rescues require people to jump through impossible hoops. 

Part of me feels horrible for even thinking about this logically, but the emotions are too hard to deal with... am I crazy?


----------



## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

munchkin1616 said:


> If I let myself be logical, when the time does come (which will hopefully not be so soon), part of me feels like I'd want to adopt a rescue maltese immediately, that not only would my pain be easier but someone else would get the love that Nikko's been getting after a rough start. And I worry about not being permitted to do that since I live in an apartment and don't have much in savings and I know so many rescues require people to jump through impossible hoops.
> 
> Part of me feels horrible for even thinking about this logically, but the emotions are too hard to deal with... am I crazy?


First, I am very sad for you and dear Nikko. I hope you will able to enjoy many more wonderful days, weeks, ++++ with him.

I think it is really good to think about adopting another dog. It will help you to let Nikko go skipping happily to heaven when he must. 

Try shelters instead of rescue groups. So many of the dogs are rescued *from* shelters. It is more direct and will save a life that may only have one day left.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

Thank you for validating this thought, I can't tell if it's just horrible. I don't know where to find a rescue group or something. I found Nikko when he was listed on freecycle just before the site stopped allowing animals to be listed. I know that I'd want a male dog under age 7, maybe it's selfish of me but I want at least some real time with him. I'd also want a super laid back and snuggly personality. Not sure how to even find such. Part of me feels like I wouldn't want until Nikko is gone and another almost would want them to meet to help him carry on or something, but I don't know that Nikko would be ok with such at all.


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

munchkin1616 said:


> Thank you for validating this thought, I can't tell if it's just horrible. I don't know where to find a rescue group or something. I found Nikko when he was listed on freecycle just before the site stopped allowing animals to be listed. I know that I'd want a male dog under age 7, maybe it's selfish of me but I want at least some real time with him. I'd also want a super laid back and snuggly personality. Not sure how to even find such. Part of me feels like I wouldn't want until Nikko is gone and another almost would want them to meet to help him carry on or something, but I don't know that Nikko would be ok with such at all.


I too hope that Nikko will come through and have quality of life, but at his age, you know that you will not have him forever no matter what. I think that when the time comes, rescuing a dog will be very helpful and healing. You have so much love to share and a rescue needs that love. I don't think that I would take in another dog while you have Nikko. With CHF Nikko will probably still go through tough times and will not want a new dog changing the balance or wanting him to play when he wants to rest. I think you'd also be torn when you'd need to take him to the ER and leave a new dog. I think it will complicate things a lot. You have a lot to do keeping Nikko healthy.

I was okayed by a rescue and live in apartment and hadn't had dogs in many, many years and I was approved by a very reputable rescue that has small breed dogs and often has Maltese. They did a home visit and we hit it off. I think that your having Nikko and taking such great care of him will come through and show any rescue your commitment. If they're a good rescue like AMA, NCMR and SCMR are, they will truly know the dog and his temperament and have done a lot of the ground work that you are looking for and won't find at a shelter. I think after all you're going through now with Nikko, that you need the next pet to be vetted and not as challenging as a shelter dog could be. JMHO.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

I share a 3 bdrm apt with 3 other people and my bank account will be really low, there's no way I'd pass a home visit. Maybe I'll find an animal whose family can't keep him or something through craigslist or someone who knows someone, sort of thing. I don't know... 

I know I can't skip the pain in the process, but maybe not having to hold all of the love and having somewhere to put it would be helpful? maybe there's no logic in here any way


----------



## LuvMyBoys (Jan 2, 2012)

I'm coming into this a little late, and I know you have no idea who I am, but I wanted to tell you how terribly sorry I am for what you are going thru. They don't live long enough, or we live too long, one of the two. You sound like a wonderful mom, the little guy is so lucky to have you. 

If you don't mind, I'd like to share my story about loss and renewed life and love. We lost our beloved Alvin in August after 8 months of doggie hospice at our house. We rescued Alvin at 3 and lost him at 12. As all of us have, I have lost many loved ones in my life, but this one hit extra hard, even though we knew it was close. I swore there would be no more dogs in our house because I just wouldn't be able to ever do this again. Then my husband helped me realize that our house isn't right without a dog, and I need a pup in my life. I was on PetFinders in a week, and rescued a surrendered Maltese that day. Jasper has given me such happiness, and while he didn't and never will replace Alvie in my heart, he helped my grow a new one. Then we adopted another one about a month later too!

So, as for rescuing an adult, I say go for it when the time is right for you. I didn't get the first one I tried for either because I have kids (who have lived with a Maltese all of their lives!). I found Jasper on Petfinders, widened my search about 400 miles and drove 4 hours to get him (Dusty too). We met his foster mom who interviewed and approved us in person rather than depend on an application. I don't know where you live, but if you PM me I'll be happy to put you in touch with this lady. She has fostered and placed MANY Maltese over the years, she has 8 special needs Maltese of her own that she has rescued. 

Your mind is going in 100 different directions, don't feel guilty for anything you think or feel. Remember, Nikko loves you and only wants you to be happy. Let your heart guide you, because whatever decision you make, Nikko will have helped you make it. I truly believe that Alvin found Jap and Dut for us, because the weird way it all worked out was just to good to be true. Nikko will be there for you too.

Stay strong and take care of yourself during all of this, please.
Laura


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

Oh sweetie I understand you so much I just lost my labrador retreiver Dec 7 , and i thought the same thing get another dog immediately I think its normal for me it was but i held off and let myself grieve and im glad i did now , in April we will be adding a new fur baby I think the time between did me good ......you do what is best for you 

love 

Anna xoxo


----------



## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

munchkin1616 said:


> If I let myself be logical, when the time does come (which will hopefully not be so soon), part of me feels like I'd want to adopt a rescue maltese immediately, that not only would my pain be easier but someone else would get the love that Nikko's been getting after a rough start. And I worry about not being permitted to do that since I live in an apartment and don't have much in savings and I know so many rescues require people to jump through impossible hoops.
> 
> Part of me feels horrible for even thinking about this logically, but the emotions are too hard to deal with... am I crazy?


Hugs to you :wub: You are not crazy at all. Do whatever feels right in your heart. I agree with the others that a shelter is a great place to save a life, as you don't have to jump through any of the sometimes ridiculous hoops of rescues. Or Craigslist or Kijiji.com might have a dog a family is giving away, yes. I will keep you and Nikko in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

Laura, thank you so much for your story... I live in the NYC area, not sure how far that is from the person you know. As for Anna, my heart breaks for your loss. 

I'm trying desperately to feel that the pain I feel now is pain Nikko avoided when he was rescued by me, that I simply chose to be in pain now so he wouldn't have to then, and it's just my time to pay up. It doesn't hurt less, but it somehow seems a bit more logical than none at all.

I'm just at such a loss of what to do with myself while I wait, like I'm lost both inside and outside my head.


----------



## silverhaven (Sep 6, 2009)

So sorry to hear all you are going through. I totally understand how you feel about getting another one. After we lost my Sophie we held off for while, partly because I was researching where to get another, but while we were waiting our home felt so sad and empty. We still cry over her loss, but my two girls bring smiles back to our faces.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*update: *they've weaned him down on oxygen again so he's now at 30% and stable, blood work shows his kidneys are holding their own as well. Wasn't able to visit him today but am hoping that he continues to improve as the night goes on, that he remains stable when oxygen is decreased next at 6am, and that they'll allow me to see him then. (the continued support of all is beyond appreciated)


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

Goodmorning,
that is great news !!!!! ))))) 


Anna xo


----------



## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

~♥~ Sending much love your way! ~♥~


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*Update:* he's been on the lowest dose of oxygen assistance since 6am and is holding his own, we're now waiting on the results of the kidney function test that should come in this afternoon, which is when the doctor will call me to talk about the next steps, so for now more waiting.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*update: *he's officially off oxygen now but is still on IV meds. Kidney tests show slight elevation in one kidney but that could be from the high doses of meds he's getting, so we're watching that. The plan is for me to be allowed to visit him later today if he remains stable!


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Wishing you a happy visit & better days ahead!:wub:


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

So relieved that things are headed in the right direction with Nikko. Is he at AMC, the hospital on the West side or a vet's? Hoping that he'll rally and he'll be back in your arms soon.


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

Amazing the poer of prayer !!!!!!


----------



## LuvMyBoys (Jan 2, 2012)

So glad to hear he's doing better. Sending positive thoughts your way.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

update: They let me visit him which was an incredible gift. He's off oxygen but still receiving meds through IV. The next 12 hrs will tell us everything... either he'll be able to come home then or he never will. If it's the former, he'll come home in the morning, if it's the latter, he'll either deteriorate and tell me that it's time or he just won't improve and I'll have to choose either to bring him home and know it could be any time or to make the choice right then. I'm beyond overwhelmed.


----------



## MoonDog (Jun 6, 2011)

I'm so sorry you're faced with this. My heart is breaking for you. However, like seeing him today was a gift, so have the years that he's been with you. My wish, and hope and prayer is that you'll have more time with him however, if it isn't to be, know you have all of us here to lean on...


----------



## gigigirlz (Jun 18, 2007)

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this...Skylar Sue suffered with congestive heart failure also...a very hard thing for our babies to deal with...and us too...sending your prayers....


----------



## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

Sending prayers to you and Nikko.


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Thinking of you and Nikko and praying for the next step. Be strong for him though it's hard. You have given him the true gift of life by adopting him and all he's known since he's in your care is your total love of him. No matter what happens he'll know he's been loved so much. :grouphug:


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

I've been talking with friends about this whole process and realized that, if they let him come home, it might not be that he has symptoms again and I bring him in knowing what it will mean. It could be that he goes while he's home. The vet also said that it may be days or weeks if I get to bring him home at all. I don't know whether it'd be days or weeks or if it'd be worse for him to go through the symptoms again even if it meant having even a few more days with him. 

Much as I want every bit of time with him I can get, I am going to ask the vet if it'd be harder on him to go through that again, even if it was weeks from now rather than days. If it would, I can't do that to him. 

I'm trying to find a way to process knowing that this visit in a few hours might be the last one and that coming home the last time might be the last time I'll come home while still being his mom. 

I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this


----------



## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

Awww  This is such a difficult time, but you will get through! We all love you and are praying for you and Nikko. You are such a loving mommy to think of Nikko first, even though saying good-bye is so hard  

Please keep us updated.

Hugs and love,


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

The bio stuff on this site tells me I signed up here a few days after I got Nikko. I've asked questions about everything I didn't know with him because I didn't want my ignorance to negatively effect him or stop him from getting what he needs. I am staying as strong as I am able for him but I don't know how I'll manage after it's not benefiting him anymore.


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

munchkin1616 said:


> The bio stuff on this site tells me I signed up here a few days after I got Nikko. *I've asked questions about everything I didn't know with him because I didn't want my ignorance to negatively effect him or stop him from getting what he needs.* I am staying as strong as I am able for him but I don't know how I'll manage after it's not benefiting him anymore.


You're still doing that -- asking about everything and doing what's best for him. That's what counts. Your vet can't make the decision for you but can help you see where the road leads for Nikko and what his prognosis will be. I know that each major CHF episode my mom had left her a little more diminished each time. Seeing one's pet suffer and if necessary ending their suffering, is so very hard on us...but it's what's best for them. It's a final loving gesture and yes, it will be one of the hardest decisions you ever have to make but it will be the humane thing to do. And you'll manage afterwards because you were benefitting him by making that decision and letting him go in peace. You'll never replace Nikko but as you've brought this up, a new fluff can give you purpose and love. I've said it here before, I've seen people suffering in such pain or with Alzheimers and wish at times we had a graceful way to end that suffering. I've discussed with my DH not wanting any extraordinary means to keep me going if I was in a vegetative state. I feel for myself if there's not quality of life, there really isn't much life worth living.


----------



## *Missy* (Oct 7, 2011)

Please know that I'm praying for you and sweet nikko. And that you will ALWAYS be his mommy. My heart is broken for you  




munchkin1616 said:


> I've been talking with friends about this whole process and realized that, if they let him come home, it might not be that he has symptoms again and I bring him in knowing what it will mean. It could be that he goes while he's home. The vet also said that it may be days or weeks if I get to bring him home at all. I don't know whether it'd be days or weeks or if it'd be worse for him to go through the symptoms again even if it meant having even a few more days with him.
> 
> Much as I want every bit of time with him I can get, I am going to ask the vet if it'd be harder on him to go through that again, even if it was weeks from now rather than days. If it would, I can't do that to him.
> 
> ...


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*update:* I was allowed to visit him from afar tonight around midnight. They put his blanket and a toy in with him but decided it'd be better for him not to be awoken and excited by my visit, so I was able to watch him sleep from where he couldn't see me. Still not sure yet what will be best for him but the next 8ish hrs will give us more of a direction.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

Oh, and as for the folks who mention healing with the help of a new pup, I like that idea, but would really want another rescue, a male, who would have to be really laid back and a cuddler... not sure where I'd find such, especially since I can't afford the high costs of most shelters nor would I be approved since I live in an apt in nyc and such, so it's probably not likely I'll be able to find someone new to love, sad as that makes me.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

I hope this isn't too large and no one minds... it's a photo a friend took last month of Nikko and me in our hallway at home. I don't know what's to come right now but I got this photo and 6 weeks of time after his first crisis in December and for that, I am eternally grateful for the gift of that extra time.


----------



## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

munchkin1616 said:


> I hope this isn't too large and no one minds... it's a photo a friend took last month of Nikko and me in our hallway at home. I don't know what's to come right now but I got this photo and 6 weeks of time after his first crisis in December and for that, I am eternally grateful for the gift of that extra time.


 
What a beautiful, beautiful beautiful cherished picture. I love it. I also am so glad you got to sere your baby, even if it was from afar. My heart and prayers are with you. I can not tell you how much I love this picture.

Hugs.
Christine


----------



## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I have to say that as well, it is such a beautiful photo and I'm happy that you were able to visit with Nikko. Thinking of you and praying today is a good day.


----------



## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Oh! I love the pictures of you and Nikko, they are wonderful. My Eerie(at the bridge) had congestive heart failure. I had a very hard time letting hiim go, When I saw how he had to struggle to breathe and looked at me so helpless I knew it was time. I loved that little fluff with all of my heart and not a day goes by that I don't miss him ,but I don't regret the decision to let him go. His illness was too much, and in the end he wasn't Eerie he was a very sick, tired little pup. I know that I gave him a good life that was a gesture of love to let him go .


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

*update...* things didn't improve overnight, it doesn't look as if they will. we've reached a point where I have to choose between my own want and what's best for him, which is no choice at all. I just hope I can find a way to articulate to him my gratitude for all he's given me and for the extra 6 weeks we had together. 

because of the high cost and number of hoops required to jump through by rescues, I'm not sure how long it'll have to be before I get to have a maltese in my life again, which hasn't been the case for almost exactly 19 years (I got one for my 10th birthday as a family pet who died at age 15 who was my first pet and Nikko has been my only). 

my heart has to be strong enough for him in these coming hours but after? I just don't know.


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

Im so sorry about what you are going through but im sure he knows how much you love him and he does not want you to suffer anymore , you have done so much for him and you have to be proud ofyourself being an excelent mommy  dogs come into our lives to teach us special lessons , im sure he has tought you something very valuable , for instance my labrador that died taught me how to let go which i always had a hard time with nad little Luna is teaching me patience with her knee issues ....prayers for you sweetie .
Anna xo


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

not sure how much I'll be able to come here for a while, but I wanted to thank all of you for everything you've taught me over the incredible 7 years that I got to love him. Thank you for teaching me how to be better for him. 

~Kryss
munchkin1616 at juno dot com


----------



## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

We're here with you! I'm sending you a PM in case you want to talk. 

Hugs,


----------



## aksm4 (Nov 28, 2011)

please if you ever need to talk just e-mail me [email protected] so sorry but were here if you need <3

Anna xxooxxo


----------



## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I'm so sorry that he hasn't improved. Don't worry, Nikki knows how much you love him, no matter what you say to him, he will see it in your eyes and feel your touch and know.


----------



## munchkin1616 (Dec 8, 2005)

It's time to go now... I have already packed his stuff and hidden it away, changed emails for websites where I ordered things for him. I'm using any excuse not to go, I know what it means when I do.

I know I won't qualify with rescues or shelters but that I want to have the chance to love again, though it will of course be different. If anyone ever hears of a laid back male maltese, please do email me directly (munchkin1616 at juno dot com). 

Now, I suppose, it's time.


----------



## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

We're with you in spirit, Kryss. Praying that Nikko will have a peaceful passing and that you will be comforted knowing you're doing the right thing for him. 

Big hugs,


----------



## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry.


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Kryss, I am crying reading this. It is still too close. We had our little grand-dog who suffered from CHF & pancreatitis. I had to be the one to let him go---alone in the end as my DH was teaching that night---my daughter was in Italy working on her Ph.D. chapter that was due. I almost hit a motor-cycle on my way home literally. I was extremely distraught as I had worked so hard to keep him alive for over a week. My vet felt the same way as he had rallied that very morning. We were all so hopeful.
Life isn't fair! 
I promise to pray for you---for your grieving, for your memories, for all that is ahead. Also for the day to come quickly when you can open your heart to a special needs pup that will help in the healing process. My heart is so heavy for you tonight.:crying::crying::wub:


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Kryss - I'm so sorry. Like Sandi I have tears in my eyes after reading your last few posts. I just came home to see the picture you posted of you and Nikko. Absolutely beautiful and it will be someday a happy reminder of how you were both part of the same heart. I know that you are drawing all your strength together to do what's right and to say goodbye. I hope you talk to Nikko about what he has meant to you. He will be at the rainbow bridge with so many Maltese who have gone before him, feeling no more pain. I hope that you have someone in your life who you can talk to about this; who will understand your feelings. You know that you can come here and be with a lot of people who have been in your shoes and healed over time. 

And please don't assume that you will be rejected by rescues. I too live in an apartment in NYC, they didn't look into my bank account but more into my heart and I know if they do that for you they'll see what an amazing mom you've been. Don't close a door on yourself. You're willing to take in an adult male, which is often hard to place. Check out Metropolitan Maltese Rescue - they have two. I know too that you can use us as references. Just PM me and I'll do that. I will keep my ears and eyes open in the city. There was a Maltese that several months ago was abandoned and found by a friend of mine and they were looking for a home. So never give up and I know someday another little boy will have your love as his mom. :grouphug:

Please take care of yourself. It's what Nikko would want, not for his dear mom to not get over him. Please come back here; we're here for you.:hugging:


----------



## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

I am so very sorry ! I know exactly what you're going through, as many as these members do. I pray for you to have strength to remember sweet Nikko and know that he's not in any pain now. You'll find another sweet baby to love and he won't take Nikko's place , but will be another little one to bring you happiness and companionship. Letting Nikko go, is the hardest thing to do but the unselfish and loving thing to do. Bless you and you are in my prayers.


----------



## girlie girl (May 28, 2006)

My thoughts and prayers are with u


----------



## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

:crying 2: My heart aches for you!


----------



## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

I am so sorry... I hope that with each day your heart begins to heal... I know exactly how attached you are to your baby... i have the same feelings for my kodie. Dont be afraid to let out your frustrations... it helps... we are all hear for you... hang in there...


----------

