# Bridal Shower



## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

Hey there,
I need help/input. My good friend is having a bridal shower next Saturday...what should I buy? Am I supposed to buy something? I have never been to one so I feel REALLY







uneasy about going.

I was thinking about buying a really pretty/unique perfume bottle...don't know if she wears perfume or not







but I saw these cute ones that cost a crap load of money...









$126









$375









$275









$155

Help!!! :new_Eyecrazy: I don't think I need to spend that much. We are friends, have been for about 3 years now. We don't hang out all that much, but we keep in touch. This is her first marriage (and hopefully the last!







)

What do I do? She did register with a few companies, but that is for her wedding. I am confused...can you tell?

Help!!!










~Elegant


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## Lilly521 (May 29, 2004)

Does the shower have a theme? When my sister had hers it was a garden theme so everyone got her stuff related to that. I think the perfume bottles are really pretty but I have some I have gotten for gifts and I never know what to do with them, they usually end up sitting on a shelf getting covered with dust so I dont dont know if you want to go spending so much on one.


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

Ummm...I don't know if it has a theme! Agh!

Can someone tell me what happens at one, the etiquette, etc., the "goings-on" of a bridal shower?







How embarrassing.









~Elegant


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## Lilly521 (May 29, 2004)

I think if there was a theme it woudl say so on the invitation


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## Mystify79 (Apr 6, 2004)

I know at my bridal shower everyone gave me stuff we had on our wedding registry.. you could probably do that and maybe buy a little something special like some bath stuff to add with it just to make it personal. I gave my sister-in-law a basket of bath stuff for her bridal shower along with some pillows off her registry and then we got them something more expensive off their registry for their wedding present.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Elegant,
The perfume bottles are beautiful. A question that you have to ask - is this the one and only gift that you will be giving, or will you be asked to other showers, or will you give another wedding gift? It might influence the decision on how much you spend.

I guess that I can give you a different perspective. I've been married nearly 27 years and I can't remember any particular gift that any particular person gave me. I have it written down, of course. I have wonderul friends, but nothing special just sticks in my mind. 

Don't kill yourself trying to find the perfect gift.


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

She is registered at Macy's and Pottery barn...but she wants wash clothes and really expensive things, like household items and kitchenware. Do I give her two $24 wash clothes at the bridal shower and something else at the wedding? I'm confused, and embarrassed. Will she open the gift at the shower?

~Elegant


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

Around here, if you buy a gift for the shower, that pretty much counts as your wedding gift too. The bride usually registers for items at several places. Usually for things like china and crystal too. Many times they have several different themed showers (kitchen, garden and tool (both men and women come), Christmas, etc.). If they are members of a church, they usually have a huge church "tea". It can get crazy around the south! If you get invited to more than one it can get expensive.









One silly gift that I got at a shower that I LOVED was a nice square basket from Hall-mark with some imprinted napkins that said "Welcome to Craig and Traci's home"-something like that anyway. They were the little party like napkins, and they fit in that basket. We had enough to last about a year on our coffee table, but as newlyweds, we thought they were neat when company came over. The basket was re-usable and I still use it 10 years later!







It was a cheesy-personal gift, but I loved it. The problem is finding a place that embosses/prints napkins without having to order them. We had a place in town for awhile, and I did it for several friends until the company moved and went out of town.


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

In Iowa we buy gifts off the gift registry for the shower and wedding. My family has always giving a separate gifts for the shower and wedding. The only way I would spend over $100 on a gift would be if the person was a brother/sister or a very, very close friend. A lot of times friends/family members go in on more expensive gifts.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant_@Apr 21 2005, 02:16 AM
> *She is registered at Macy's and Pottery barn...but she wants wash clothes and really expensive things, like household items and kitchenware.  Do I give her two $24 wash clothes at the bridal shower and something else at the wedding?  I'm confused, and embarrassed.  Will she open the gift at the shower?
> 
> ~Elegant
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=54776*


[/QUOTE]
Generally, showers go like this.... You arrive with your gift and it is put in a pile with the other gifts. You then mingle and eat... usually the food is finger foods, punch, cake, etc. Then everyone sits down and the bride-to-be opens her gifts. She opens them and oohs and aahhhs over them and shows each gift to everyone there. Bor----ing!

Regarding what to buy, if the shower does not have a theme (such as a "kitchen shower", etc.) then I would buy something on her registry list. Only for a "Personal Shower" theme would you get something that just the bride can use. Usually, the gift is something for the couple. No, two washcloths would not be a good idea! lol I always think how I'll feel as she shows my gift to everyone... would I be embarrassed? You can get something like a couple of her everyday drinking glasses, cookware, mixing bowls.. etc..... if these items are on her registry.

I have always heard that you buy a gift for the shower and for the wedding. Because you are attending both events and money has been spent to entertain you, etc... so the general rule of thumb is that each guest is invited to no more than one shower and she gets a gift for that and then a wedding gift, also. Usually, the wedding gift is more expensive... such as one or two of the dinner plates in her new China pattern, crystal flutes, etc. 

Often the groom will show up as the shower is about over and the bride shows him all the "neat stuff" they got!

IMHO I find showers to be painfully boring but it's hard to get out of going and it's important to support your friend by being there.....


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

I'm not too good at suggestions...
but those bottles look NEAT! I dont wear much perfume myself... i would just use it as decoration.. hehe..









None of my friends had any showers yet... we havent hit that part in life yet.... haha.. but when we do.. i'm sure i'll be broke from buying presents! haha... I think my friends and I are LATE on the shower thing... marriage... ya kno... haha.


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## nataliecmu (Aug 12, 2004)

You can always buy a gift certificate to one of the places she is registered at so she can put it towards something that was not bought for them. 

Good luck, and enjoy. They are usually pretty fun!


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

I thought at bridal showers you're suppose to give sexy lingerie!


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Apr 21 2005, 08:21 AM
> *I thought at bridal showers you're suppose to give sexy lingerie!
> 
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[/QUOTE]
At my cousin's shower her soon to be sister in law gave her a suitcase. All of the pockets were filled with condoms.


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

Lexi's mom! OH MY GOSH! HAHAHAHAH


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Apr 21 2005, 08:26 AM
> *Lexi's mom!  OH MY GOSH! HAHAHAHAH
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=54804*


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Let's just say that there were some things on her Target registry that i had never seen on a wedding registry. It wasn't the classiest wedding.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom_@Apr 21 2005, 07:58 AM
> *I have always heard that you buy a gift for the shower and for the wedding. Because you are attending both events and money has been spent to entertain you, etc... so the general rule of thumb is that each guest is invited to no more than one shower and she gets a gift for that and then a wedding gift, also. Usually, the wedding gift is more expensive... such as one or two of the dinner plates in her new China pattern, crystal flutes, etc.
> 
> Often the groom will show up as the shower is about over and the bride shows him all the "neat stuff" they got!
> ...


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We don't usually do both shower and wedding b/c the "wedding" gifts are what are usually given at the church teas. They are very extravagant and the hostesses go way out/overboard. All the gifts are displayed, you don't bring them wrapped.







They set out place settings of all the china etc. and every gift has a little place card with who sent/gave it. Most of the time as church members/friends, you are invited to both the tea and at LEAST one shower. I usually don't see many gifts the night/day of the wedding except for out of town guests etc.



> _Originally posted by ButterCloudandNoriko_@Apr 21 2005, 08:21 AM
> *I thought at bridal showers you're suppose to give sexy lingerie!
> 
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE]


If you have a lingerie shower you would, but-we usually do that at the batchelorette party....or someone throws a "fun party" if anyone knows what that is...







They are a HOOT!


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## nataliecmu (Aug 12, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Lexi's Mom+Apr 21 2005, 09:23 AM-->
> 
> 
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At my cousin's shower her soon to be sister in law gave her a suitcase. All of the pockets were filled with condoms.






















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Personal bridal showers give the lingerie... or the bachelorette party... (







maybe I just know conservative people....wait...there were strippers...







that's not conservative...)


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## HollyHobbie (Apr 12, 2005)

I have always had a lot of fun at bridal showers. LOL....I would look for something off her registry but don't feel like you HAVE to get her things off of it. Some of my favortie and most usefull gifts were ones that people thought outside of the box.

One of my aunts got me tons of christmas decorations. (I got married in August) at first I was like ummm ok...but come December guess what I needed those and didn't have to go spend money that I didn't have at the time to buy them. It was great. And since it was the off season she got me tons and tons of them. 

We also got an awesome cooler and they filled it with picnic stuff. So that was fun to go on some romantic picnics with and is even more usefull now that we have kids in sports. 

If she has a china pattern picked out don't feel like you have to get her a complete place setting...go for something smaller...like the salt and pepper shakers they are usually more inexspensive but a piece that is essential.

One friend of mine got me several rolls of film, a gift certificate to get it developed at the local one hour place and a gorgeous photo album. We used the film and album for all our pre-wedding, rehearsal and honeymoon photos. It was really nice and something that we never had even thought of. 

I am very picky and will only use plastic hangers and my sister got me a 100 plastic hangers since she didn't figure my husband has his clothes on plastic...since guys don't think about those things....she got me something else also but that was a huge joke but I still have most of those hangers. lol

Good luck and just have fun.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by HollyHobbie_@Apr 21 2005, 09:08 AM
> *If she has a china pattern picked out don't feel like you have to get her a complete place setting...go for something smaller...like the salt and pepper shakers they are usually more inexspensive but a piece that is essential.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=54815*


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I don't know many that can afford a whole place setting of the china most pick out aruond here. I usually get like a coffee cup for them! Ha! I have also gotten them a utensil or two from their silver choice...who knew a fork could be so expensive?!


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

When I get married I'm not planning on getting china. I don't see the point of spending all that money on something you will only use once or twice a year. Plus you then have to wash it by hand. Who wants to spend the holidays in the kitchen doing dishes. Give me paper plates any day. I would rather get some nice every day dishes.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Lexi's Mom_@Apr 21 2005, 09:29 AM
> *When I get married I'm not planning on getting china.  I don't see the point of spending all that money on something you will only use once or twice a year.  Plus you then have to wash it by hand.  Who wants to spend the holidays in the kitchen doing dishes.  Give me paper plates any day. I would rather get some nice every day dishes.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=54828*


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I didn't get any either...someday I hope to get one of my grandmother's sets. If I had it, I would never have used it so far...


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## HollyHobbie (Apr 12, 2005)

I really didn't think I would use my china either but I registered for it cause my hubby wanted to. I was quite surprised by all that I got. Each anniversary my inlaws add to it.

Now I'm addicted to it. I use it often. We always use it on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years even if we are not at our house on that day we plan a family dinner and make it our holiday meal for just us. I also use it on Valentines, our anniversary all out birthdays. My kids love it they feel so special when we pull it out on thier birthday. And sometimes we just use it for no reason I will just make a nice dinner and surprise everyone. It always seems to make the dinner seem special for some odd reason. 

But now my mother....she is a chinette girl thru and thru. We never have a holiday meal at her house on anything but chinette. LOL...


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## Holliberry (Feb 5, 2005)

I always give a gift from the registry (if there is one) for the shower. The gift that you want her to remember is from you, even if it is from the registry. After all, it is what she wants. If she is very close to you, you can in addition, get her something small personal that is not on the registry if you want. Showers are dreadful to me. I am just not into that kind of thing. I usually just send a gift and look for a way out of the shower if I am not close to the person. Then again I work alot so I like to spend my Sunday day off with my puppy









The wedding I always give cash. Mainly because I dont want to have to carry a gift around that day. They can get what they want with that, or use it on the honeymoon, or get what they want from the registry if they didnt get everything. There is usually something for envelopes at the reception and I dont recall ever seeing more than a few gifts at most weddings. My brother is getting married in a few weeks and thats what they want, cash $$$$


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Holliberry_@Apr 21 2005, 10:20 AM
> *I dont recall ever seeing more than a few gifts at most weddings.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=54849*


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The department stores around here will ship the gifts if the couple is registered with them. That way the couple doesn't have to transport the gift to their house after the reception.


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## Chelsey (Dec 17, 2004)

I just went through this myself twice this year.

Depending on how personal the shower is. If it is all the girls no mother in laws then sexy lingerie is in. If the mother in laws are attending I would say no but then again it depend on the mother's some are just really down to earth

If the crowed is on the older side then a gift is better then gift certificate unless you really know the person is picky. The reason I say that is because some older people tend to think a gift certificate is impersonal and you did not take the time to look for a gift.

The younger generation love gift certificates so they can purchase what they like.
I went through this argument with my mother in law when we were invited to my girlfriend shower. I got her a gif certificate and something personal just for her and my friend loved it. My mother in law was like no, no gift certificate people like to see a gift.


What you could do is ask the person hosting the wedding shower what the bride has on her list. Try to think of the bride and think, what she would really like for herself.

The bottle you selected are really really nice and beautiful, but if you are on a limited budget remember the wedding is just around the corner as well. Here we buy both the shower gift for the shower and wedding gift for the wedding day. Young couples would love money for a wedding gift as they have just put out all this money for the wedding. Gift registry is great as well because they took the time to select what they really require or would love to have.


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

I'm going to share my wedding gift secret that is guaranteed to make you look good. This is only if you are planning to spend a little more or less than $100 on the gift. We have lots of professional acquaintances that we have to send a gift to and this always gets lots of attention. Go to Tiffanys.com and order something! They have some decanters, crystal bowls, and candlestick holders that are reasonable. I get them to send to the bride's address and it comes all done up in the blue Tiffany's box. I get the nicest thank you notes for this gift because it is very different from what most people give. I got this idea a couple of years ago from "The View". It only fails me when I have to give a less expensive gift and for that I just go and buy a couple of pillows - nobody ever gives that either.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by msmagnolia_@Apr 21 2005, 12:24 PM
> *I'm going to share my wedding gift secret that is guaranteed to make you look good.  This is only if you are planning to spend a little more or less than $100 on the gift.  We have lots of professional acquaintances that we have to send a gift to and this always gets lots of attention.  Go to Tiffanys.com and order something!  They have some decanters, crystal bowls, and candlestick holders that are reasonable.  I get them to send to the bride's address and it comes all done up in the blue Tiffany's box.  I get the nicest thank you notes for this gift because it is very different from what most people give.  I got this idea a couple of years ago from "The View".  It only fails me when I have to give a less expensive gift and for that I just go and buy a couple of pillows - nobody ever gives that either.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=54871*


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What a great idea!! Getting something in that blue box is THE best!!! I bet they do go nuts!


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

Nichole--DONT TEASE US LIKE THAT! Tell us your bachelorette stories! PUAHAHA. Just put a "CAUTIOUS" note on the title! PUAHAHAHAHAHA

As far as that $50 per guest go, that is the asian tradition. Is that an american thing too? 

I would never want china dishes. I'm so clumpsy. I would hit the side of the door like all the time when I walk thru it. I'm always hitting the door knob and tripping. You KNOW I'd drop those suckers on the floor! I rather get thongs! PUAHAHAH. JK, I'd rather get money!


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## thinkpink (Sep 25, 2004)

I'm a big fan of the Tiffany blue box too. (it's where I got the name from) I always go by the gift registry. Another idea though would be to have something engraved or monogrammed. I like things that are personalized. Alot of brides get excited too to see something with their new name on it. That is if she takes his name.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Nichole+Apr 21 2005, 12:46 PM-->
> 
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*
*[/QUOTE]
Tiffany's is a great idea, however, I think you need to know your recipient first. I have gone to many bridal showers where the bride and groom are just starting out and need many household items. Sometimes I think practical is more important.
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I think Ms. M was talking about a wedding gift rather than a shower gift. Even though they may need practical things, IMHO it is the fine stuff like Tiffany, Waterford, etc. that is kept and cherished forever. It's nice when it works out that they get some practical items as well as some "wow" items.


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## FannyMay (Nov 18, 2004)

I have only been to two wedding showers and my maid of honor was a bad friend and didn't even throw me one (she even tried to break us up). She didn't even get us a gift till the day of and then she got me $1 stuff right in front of me! We were out buying candles and holders for the candle lighting ceremony. 
Anyway the first shower I ever went to was my sister-in-laws. I got her a beautiful night gown. It was sexy in a conservative way. It had a small line of lace down the top and it was floor length. My sister-in-law is real conservative. She was still embarrassed when she opened it. It was the only night thing she got. The other bridal shower I went to I didn't even want to go. It was my husband's best friends girlfriends so I had to go. She was soon going to be his wife and we were really close with him (he was the best man in our wedding and my husband was the best man in his). Anyway the groom to be was suppose to go out with my husband that day but he decided to ditch my husband and stay at the shower. He was the only guy there! It was a big joke and I was mad. I bought her a foot spa (on her wedding registry) and some ear plugs. The ear plugs had a note on them that said "for your selective hearing" and everyone got a huge kick out of it except the groom. If he wasn't there it wouldn't have been a problem! Anyway she's a real witch and I don't hang out with them or talk to them anymore because of her attitude. But off that topic lol. I would get her something off her registry that's cheap but nice (save the expensive gift for the wedding) or if you are close to her give her something more personal. If you are close enough then you will think of something. If not then it's safe to go with the registry.


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

Thank you all for your input. I have one week to go, but I will find something. I love all of the ideas...and of course I wasn't just going to give her towels! :lol: And I have got to hear Nicole's story...come on...you can keep it somewhat clean! You have peaked our interest!

Oh, how long is this thing going to last?

~Elegant


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant_@Apr 21 2005, 08:11 PM
> *Thank you all for your input.  I have one week to go, but I will find something.  I love all of the ideas...and of course I wasn't just going to give her towels!   :lol: And I have got to hear Nicole's story...come on...you can keep it somewhat clean!  You have peaked our interest!
> 
> Oh, how long is this thing going to last?
> ...


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The showers I've been to last a couple hours... some may be longer depending on how many people are there and how many gifts the bride-to-be has to open......


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## nataliecmu (Aug 12, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Nichole_@Apr 22 2005, 12:40 AM
> *There is so much more to this story, but my fingers are tired and I think you guys get the jist.  LOLOL
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=55170*


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OMG









HAHAHAHAHA























I have a bachelorette party planned for May 7. It is going to be wild! It's with some of my friends from college... I hope I have a good story like this one!!!


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## dhodina (Apr 1, 2005)

I love it.....I wish I had a bachlorette party. But my best friend was my brother and he never went for it.


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## Chelsey (Dec 17, 2004)

> _Originally posted by dhodina_@Apr 22 2005, 10:34 AM
> *I love it.....I wish I had a bachlorette party.  But my best friend was my brother and he never went for it.
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=55241*


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Don't feel bad , I did not have one either. I had a small wedding , but my husband had his party . oh well


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

NICHOLE!--HAHA Oh my gosh! LOL I know that most of my friends, if they give me a bachelorette party, that it wont be too bad. However, I think if I had to give one to a friend...haha...I'd have to go buckwild!


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

I dont know about guy strippers. I wouldn't want their thing whirling around my face! If I had to choose, I'd rather take the girls to a girl stripclub. I think that'll embarrass them more. But who knows. Depends on my mood, I guess!!!!


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Nichole+Apr 22 2005, 06:28 PM-->
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I had never been to a strip club before so I was in shock at first and then as the night wore on (we were seated in front) and we saw more of the show, it kinda got old. It was like, "Get your privates out of my face and bring me another drink!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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That is how I felt too!







It has been MANY years since I went! There are implicating pictures somewhere of me dancing with one! I was still in college...whew...I feel old all of the sudden!


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

Ok, I have been looking and looking on 2 registry's and she has $24 towels, garlic crushers, measuring cups, cheese domes, a set of small wooden bowls for $32, bottle openers, whisks, mashers, rolling pin (ok seriously, they barely even cook!...maybe because they don't have the utensils?), 5 pc BBQ set (which seems good for $20), and hand mixer. I mean really...ugh. Maybe get a basket together and combine some of the utensils? Each one cost $10 and I really don't want to spend too much. I will end up getting her something for her wedding too. I think the $50 rule is fine. Thanks for you help you guys!

~Elegant


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## Carol Ann (Dec 5, 2004)

You could get a really nice basket that they could keep later, and fill it with a lot of the items you were describing. It would make a cute display. Also, a lot of the items are not too expensive, and the basket would look nice and full!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

I love the idea of filling a cute basket with all of the goodies. OR if one of the items is a bowl you could get the bowl and line it with a cute kitchen towel and fill it with the other things and then do a bow somewhere on it..... Those sorts of things are big hits at showers!!


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## Carol Ann (Dec 5, 2004)

I don't know about you, K&C's mom, but I am SO glad I don't have to attend these anymore (for the most part, anyway). Call me odd, but I HATE Tupperware, Partylite, Pampered Chef, etc., parties as well as all manner of showers!







I am the Ebenezer Scrooge of home parties and showers! BAH, HUMBUG!!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Carol Ann_@Apr 23 2005, 07:17 PM
> *I don't know about you, K&C's mom, but I am SO glad I don't have to attend these anymore (for the most part, anyway). Call me odd, but I HATE Tupperware, Partylite, Pampered Chef, etc., parties as well as all manner of showers!
> 
> 
> ...


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Yep! That's me, too! I hate all those things... I only go if there is no way to really get out of it....


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I used to have a bridal/special event business.. I often asked the brides what their favorite gifts were after their shower. They usually remarked that though they loved everything... the thing(s) they really liked ...it was something they never expected. I have always held that feeling and I rarely give a gift off a registry. If the place has a website and shows the items in the registry .. I go look to get a "feel" for the style and color etc of their preference. 99% of the time I give a beautiful crystal vase ( or an exceptional one that fits their decor) . It is always a huge hit ....I ALWAYS get a special thank you with mentions of how they never thought of that.. and something that is not only beautiful as decorative item but also useful. It is something that you don't have to be concerned about size as one time or another it can be used.

To the gal who remarked about the personalized cocktail napkins.. you can order them from most any place that does the wedding invitations.. you normally can have a wide choice of color to napkins..imprint color.. and typeset style and often choice of a design.( design will limit the lines) The 'lines avaialble are often limited" but you normally can have it say what you want. I personally like the monogramed cocktail napkins.. always add nice touch when entertaining. they really are not that pricey.
Missysmom


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

Elegant--I'd say spend no more than like $75. Like 25 at the bridal shower, and 50 at the wedding. But dont spend too much. I'd rather be more creative than spend spend spend! GOOD LUCK!!!


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

I'll probably go with my boyfriends basket idea...I think someone suggested a picnic basket full of stuff and I like the monogrammed napkin idea...she likes silver heart stuff so Tiffanies would be cool too.

Thank you guys, you have been a great help!










~Elegant


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## Airmid (Dec 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by tlunn_@Apr 21 2005, 06:23 AM
> *Around here, if you buy a gift for the shower, that pretty much counts as your wedding gift too.  The bride usually registers for items at several places. Usually for things like china and crystal too. Many times they have several different themed showers (kitchen, garden and tool (both men and women come), Christmas, etc.). If they are members of a church, they usually have a huge church "tea". It can get crazy around the south! If you get invited to more than one it can get expensive.
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Here in NY (City and Long Island) there's the wedding registry, which is for the shower gift-then at the wedding we give money.

I recieved some really great stuff at my shower-big things, people chipped in for.

As far as the wedding-we had 200 guests, and took home 19,000. It's really where you're from that tradition states. Some people have weddings in their yards-an idea that I LOVE, or some rent huge halls and spend 50,000. (Like I had to- to not disappoint the 'rents)

How much to spend? 300 is FAR TOO MUCH. (especially for a bottle-the bottle is GORGEOUS, but I'd be disappointed)
Get her a pot set, a towel set or something like that-even a place setting of her fine china pattern-that'll run ya about 100. Good enough for a shower, and call it a day!!!


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## saltymalty (Sep 14, 2004)

I love giving a basket of kitchen gadgets as a shower gift. I am forever being invited to bridal and baby showers...

One of the best places to hunt for goodies for a basket of kitchen gadgets: The Dollar Store!!! Often times they have nice gadgets, pot holders, dish rags, and assorted stuff like veggie scrubbers, bottle washers, scrubbie pad holders. 

Sometimes I do themed baskets...like Italian supper. I include a jar of gourmet sauce, a pound of pasta, Italian herbs, garlic cloves and crusher, salt and pepper mills, cheese grater, Italian biscotti, red and white napkins, two wine glasses, bottle of wine...all in a super large collander (from the Dollar Store). I usually line the collander with the cloth napkins then get some shredded brown paper or raffia to stuff. I then place the items in the "basket" and use the shrink wrap bags (also from the Dollar Store) to complete.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by saltymalty_@Apr 24 2005, 04:58 PM
> *I love giving a basket of kitchen gadgets as a shower gift.  I am forever being invited to bridal and baby showers...
> 
> One of the best places to hunt for goodies for a basket of kitchen gadgets:  The Dollar Store!!!  Often times they have nice gadgets, pot holders, dish rags, and assorted stuff like veggie scrubbers, bottle washers, scrubbie pad holders.
> ...


[/QUOTE]

What great gift ideas!! No wonder you get invited to so many showers!


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## Airmid (Dec 9, 2004)

OH! One more thing!!!! Never, ever give a knife for a shower or wedding gift! I may be a bit superstitious,







but it's very bad luck!!

(You can give a gift certificate to a knife store-no knives as a gift that's present!)


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

Ok...Nobody told me I had to wear a frilly dress! :lol: 

I walk into the shower and everyone was wearing flowery dresses (totally not me), and make-up, and froo-froo things









I now know what it is like going to a bridal shower, and I believe it will be the last. I didn't know anybody, everyone was skinny and prettied up, I was lonely, and had no one to talk to. Hardly anyone at my table talked...and I was sitting at the bride's table with her best friend, people who were actually going to be in the wedding, and then there was me.

So we sit down and her mother tells my friend to introduce everyone that was at her table who was going to be in the wedding and how she knows them, etc. Of course I was not introduced (I am not in the wedding). So three other tables have a spokesperson to introduce everyone. Well, all of that was over and so we started the games...then her mom discovered that out of 26 people that were there, I was not introduced along with 2 other women. That was embarrassing.

Needless to say I feel depressed about my appearance and the fact that I did not look pretty and skinny like everyone else, and I felt too out of place. My bf told me I shouldn't have gone two weeks before, but I didn't listen to him.

I ended up getting her these things:









A mini "chopper" for about $25, 









a 2 piece dip set for $10 when she chops up dip and salsa, she can have a cute little bowl, and 









I gave her this cute little "Angel in my Pocket" on top of her gift (I got it for $1 at this store that was going out of business)... It is the size of a coin.

For her wedding gift I was going to give her this matching 9 pice cruet set ($30):









When she opened the dip mix she said something to the effect that it wasn't on her registry or something, but I did give her that chopper thing that was on the registry.I don't think she actually liked the dip set I gave her, so I might just return the cruet set and say screw it!

So, overall, I was pretty disappointed and I felt extremely awkward.

Just wanted to let you know how it went!

~Elegant


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Oh, bless your heart! I hate things like that, too, so I can imagine how you felt. I think the stuff you got her is really nice. The little bowl and knife set is something she can always use for company for all sorts of dips, etc. The cruet set might be something that should match her everyday dishes. You might want to take a look at what she selected and see if this is something that would complement her colors, etc. Or then, again... who cares ... she can give it away or whatever... it's the thought that counts!! LOL


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

She SAID it wasn't on her registry?! What a hag!!! She needs some manners!







I don't blame you for wanting to take the rest back...she sounded very ungracious to me...







I thought it was a nice set, and then to follow it up with the matching set for the wedding gift was a great idea!









I am SO sorry that you had such an awful time!


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

> _Originally posted by tlunn_@Apr 30 2005, 04:35 PM
> * She SAID it wasn't on her registry?! What a hag!!! <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58416*


[/QUOTE]
Well, she is a very materialistic person. She has a $60,000 engagement ring on her finger that she fixed because she didn't like the band that it originally came with...so it's probably worth more. She is very trendy and money grubbing, everything I am not. Almost everyone at the party was like that, so I felt really uncomfortable.

Oh, I checked the registry and it does match the neutral colors she wanted. I still think I might take it back.

~Elegant


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## Caesar's Mommie (Apr 8, 2004)

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear how it ended up! Especially after all of the trouble you went through in deciding what to get. I think that was rude of her to say that she should have been greatful for anything she received.


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## Caesar's Mommie (Apr 8, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant+Apr 30 2005, 06:41 PM-->
> 
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Well, she is a very materialistic person. She has a $60,000 engagement ring on her finger that she fixed because she didn't like the band that it originally came with...so it's probably worth more. She is very trendy and money grubbing, everything I am not. Almost everyone at the party was like that, so I felt really uncomfortable.

Oh, I checked the registry and it does match the neutral colors she wanted. I still think I might take it back.

~Elegant
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58420
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LOL I think you should get her a years supply of paper plates, that oughta be neutral enough for her!


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Caesar's Mommie+Apr 30 2005, 06:43 PM-->
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LOL I think you should get her a years supply of paper plates, that oughta be neutral enough for her!








<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58423
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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

"LOL I think you should get her a years supply of paper plates, that oughta be neutral enough for her!







"























Exactly!

~Elegant


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

I would take the cute wedding gift back, and on the day of the wedding I would plan something fun with your boyfriend. Why be miserable a second time with this person.


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

> _Originally posted by LucyLou_@Apr 30 2005, 06:47 PM
> *I would take the cute wedding gift back, and on the day of the wedding I would plan something fun with your boyfriend.  Why be miserable a second time with this person.
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Oops! Bad sentence structure. You plan something fun with your boyfriend for that day.


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## Caesar's Mommie (Apr 8, 2004)

> _Originally posted by LucyLou+Apr 30 2005, 06:49 PM-->
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Oops! Bad sentence structure. You plan something fun with your boyfriend for that day.















<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58427
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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

I don't think I am going to the wedding. -_- 

~Elegant


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant_@Apr 30 2005, 06:50 PM
> *I don't think I am going to the wedding.  -_-
> 
> ~Elegant
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58430*


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I don't blame you!







And I DARE her to ask you why you didn't come!!


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant_@Apr 30 2005, 07:50 PM
> *I don't think I am going to the wedding.  -_-
> 
> ~Elegant
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58430*


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That sounds like a good idea to me... unless the bride or groom is someone I really care a lot about, I hate going to weddings.....


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

My bf told me that I should still give her the wedding gift. I'll give her the gift, even though it isn't on her registry, but I'm not attending the wedding.

~Elegant


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## doctorcathy (May 17, 2004)

what an ungrateful beatch! lol. that would really really bother me. i agree with everyone...do something fun on the wedding day!







like a maltese meetup.


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## Carol Ann (Dec 5, 2004)

Sitting here shaking my head. Can't BELIEVE you were treated in this manner. What an ungracious and rude woman! You put so much thought into selecting her gift. Obviously, she holds way different values than you. The way you were treated at the shower was appalling. Do yourself a BIG favor and follow Lucy Lou's suggestions. You will have a much better time. I'm sorry you went through this.


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## Toby's Mom (May 7, 2004)




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## Chelsey (Dec 17, 2004)

Your good friend is very ungreatfull and rude. Are you sure she is your good friend.
I don't think a good friend would react that way no matter ,if the gift were just paper towels. They would just be so happy that you came to share the day with them.

I say keep the gift for yourself and forget about the wedding.
I'm sorry you had a bad time. I never enjoy myself at these thing unless I know most of the people. Don't feel bad about not being dolled up and skinny, they won't be skinny for long anyway. I'm sure you looked great. Do not compare yourfself to others.. so long as you feel good about yourself that all that counts... 
p.s If she does not want the gift you spent all that time thinking about ... you could always send it my way...







I love gifts


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## dhodina (Apr 1, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Nichole+May 1 2005, 01:46 AM-->
> 
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Okay if you do go to the wedding, give her the set! You picked it out and since she is such a rude person, I think it would be funny to purposely give her something she doesn't like!











> _Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom_@Apr 30 2005, 06:53 PM
> *...I hate going to weddings.....
> <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58434*


[/QUOTE]
I couldn't agree more!

My husband and I just got invited to his cousin's wedding. I told my husband I'm not going, but he can go. He said he didn't want to go either. I especially hate going to weddings when it is my hubby's family. At the last wedding (and I swore I would never go to another on his side of the family) hubby got up and left me at the table with people who don't speak English (and I know they are talking about me), I hate dancing so that was out of the question and to top it off the bride was really rude to me.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58549
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I learned spanish just so I would know for sure they were or were not talking about me...







My husband is from Tulsa and alot of his family is from Texas so spanish is a requirement.


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## Airmid (Dec 9, 2004)

I think it truly sucks to be treated so rudely at a BRIDAL SHOWER-it's not like she's the freakin president.

Apparently she just wants "Stuff" not friends. to actually SAY it wasn't on her registry....I would get her a WHOLE KNIFE SET for the wedding. 
"Ooops, honey that wasn't on the old registry either was it? Too friggin bad!" heh. But I'm vindictive....lol.

Kidding-(Or am I?) I adore weddings-I couldn;t care less who I know-as long as there's an open bar, a dance floor, somewhat good music and a cab to drag my behind home afterwards. I couldn;t care less if the bride even showed up-bring on the party...









BUT-If you felt uncomfortable and are upset-unless it will cause some major difficulty-why bother? I think it's quite rude of someone to make a comment like that let alone have noone introduce you!!!

I say chill a bottle of bubbly, order some nice hors'deuvres and get down and funky with the old man....









Sorry...there goes my dirty mind again.....


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## ButterCloudandNoriko (Aug 26, 2004)

WTH is wrong with her? I wouldn't go to the wedding either! I hate weddings. I hate stuck up people too! If I get married, my wedding is gonna be fun and everyone MUST get wasted and no *$&#(es allowed! LOL


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## sheila2182 (Nov 28, 2004)

What a SNOT she is.No way would I go to the wedding or send a gift. Im sorry you were treated so badly.Its horrible to be someplace and be so uncomfortable. Never you mind they were all fo fooed up and skinny. The way they acted made them ugly...in anyones eyes.


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant+Apr 30 2005, 06:41 PM-->
> 
> 
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She has a *$60,000 engagement ring* on her finger that she fixed because she didn't like the band that it originally came with...so it's probably worth more. <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=58420
[/B][/QUOTE]

Holy Crap!!! That must be a really nice ring. I would be terrified of losing it.


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## Elegant (Jul 17, 2004)

The ring is nice, but too gaudy. I hate talking about people, but here it goes... Her family said that she has a good "starter" ring, and when they have been married for a few years, she will continue to upgrade the carat size of her ring! :lol: I laughed when I heard this. Her fiance is 10 years older than her and she once told me that she won't have to be with him that long because he is an old man (38 years old) and they have about 20-30 years together. It was a long time ago so I can't remember her exact words.

We aren't really good friends, I met her during the credential program when I was going to college.

Oh...and I forgot to tell you guys...she's having 2 bridal showers! For those who couldn't make the first one (I tried getting out of it, then she called and told me they were having two, so I could go! Yipee!







).

~Elegant


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## LexiAndNikkisMom (Apr 13, 2004)

> _Originally posted by Elegant_@May 2 2005, 10:22 AM
> *The ring is nice, but too gaudy. I hate talking about people, but here it goes... Her family said that she has a good "starter" ring, and when they have been married for a few years, she will continue to upgrade the carat size of her ring! :lol: I laughed when I heard this.  Her fiance is 10 years older than her and she once told me that she won't have to be with him that long because he is an old man (38 years old) and they have about 20-30 years together.  It was a long time ago so I can't remember her exact words.
> 
> We aren't really good friends, I met her during the credential program when I was going to college.
> ...


[/QUOTE]
I don't even know what to say about this lady. I feel sorry for the fiancee. I wonder if he really knows what he is getting into.


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## dhodina (Apr 1, 2005)

And just for the record as someone close to 38 I plan on being here for more than the next 20 years. It would serve her right if he outlived her.


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