# Surgery scheduled for Wednesday



## Max & Rocky

I can't even begin to describe the issues we have had recently...

However, without getting myself too wound up again, I will say there is not one physician's office in the world staffed with totally competent people... and if I were to say I am stressed about all this... It is a total UNDERSTATEMENT.

The itching issue came back with vengeance this last weekend. Just try and get a doctor to return a telephone call over the weekend and he was "on call". She finally talked to someone in the office and got a prescription Mon or Tues, but it was a miserable weekend. What is the point of an answering service and having a doctor on call.... if he doesn't ever return telephone calls?

If you think there was any apology or any explantation for this last week, you would be wrong.

Then she was scheduled for some pre-op tests and was told to donate blood for herself by her surgeon's office. So she called the hospital and made an appointment... only to get these and find they supposedly had no info at all on her or her surgery. The surgeon's office claimed they provided the info. The hospital still says they did not.

Then she also had an EKG with her primary care doctor... she has had a couple recently, but this one supposedly showed some sort of anomaly and she was told they would set up a stress test. This was Wednesday. The office said they would call around and find someplace to send her. Yeah... right... Thursday nothing was set up. Friday, I get out of a class I was in and called. Still nothing setup and Peg said she had spoken to someone in the surgeon's office and they had said it was not necessary. Of course, it was not the surgeon saying this, but some sort of office help or at best, a nurse. I'm upset at this point. I cannot judge if Peg should have a stress test, but I am absolutely certain that if one doc recommends it for my wife, I want it done unless that doc and the surgeon together change their minds. I certainly do not want the office lady or even an RN in the doctor's office deciding with too little info that it is not needed.

Peg's daughter Caity and her 2 kids are here... we were going out for dinner Friday discussing this. It is me against the two of them and my wishes are being totally dismissed... I'm upset and it quickly escalates to a big argument in the car. Caity calls her doctor husband to ask him (so she can prove me wrong). Guess what... no one ever bothered to tell me exactly what John said, but it was clear that he agreed with me and I have never seen two people who changed their minds so quickly...

Not once did anyone ever actually turn to me and say "you were right". Peg managed to get through to a doctor even though it was after hours. Supposedly there is a plan for a stress test Monday and a backup plan for Tues if Monday doesn't work out for some reason.

I've never felt so marginalized in my entire life...

Peg is running around with Caity entertaining the kids.... Caity's entire purpose for being here was to help her mom and this not happened that way at all. I can't do anything other than tell Peg how I feel. She listens, but she will not say or do one thing toward her daughter to make a change.

I am totally stressed out and haven't been able to sleep well in some time. The way I'm going, I'll have a fricken nervous breakdown and if I'm lucky, maybe Peg and I can share a room....

I know you guys can't do anything and I guess this can just be treated as me putting words to how bad i feel about this entire situation over which I have no control at all. Say a prayer for Peg Wednesday and a prayer for me between now and then that I do not go off the deep end and get fitted with a long sleeve white jacket between now and then.


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## Bonnie's Mommie

Steve, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's frustrating enough having the medical world all but ignore you, but one would hope that Caity and the other family members would band together, not pull apart. I know you're very scared, and probably feel helpless thanks to the bullsh*t incompetence you've been up against. But, recently (as you know) I found out, or had it confirmed for me personally, that this is a very supportive group. You can come here anytime and vent. I don't have any answers for you, but I do feel your pain. I hope that everything goes smoothly from this point on.

Hugs, buddy. :grouphug:


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## CeeCee's Mom

Steve, you summed it up in your last paragraph........I am so sorry you are going through this and I know it is because you are upset about Peg. I understand. I hate this for both of you. Yes, the doctor's offices get things so mixed up.......you have to roll with the punches. Just remember, if something happens to you and they take you off in a straight jacket, there will be no one to look after Peg. Yes, I will say prayers for Peg and for YOU!!! When you get so stressed out, remember it stresses Peg out too and she needs all the calm before the operation she can get..........


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## sassy's mommy

Steve, with all the incompetence in the medical offices today one has to be very proactive in his/her own healthcare. Don't assume anything or take anything for granted. We are praying for Peg for a smooth operation on Wednesday. As for her daughter being around....this may actually be taking some of the stress off of the situation for Peg. Try to keep your head up and stay positive.


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## k/c mom

I'm sooooo sorry ..... :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Nikki's Mom

Praying for you and Peg. rayer: rayer:


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## LUCY N PETS

First off I will tell you that I will keep prayers coming for you and Peg that everything goes good for her on Wednesday and for you that you don't get yourself in so much stress you can't control it.

Second, you have to put yourself in Peg's head now and think that maybe she is trying to not let it upset her more at this time. She has so much to deal with on the operation and the questions that have to be going on in her head. She is probably not thinking straight, and who can, knowing she is going to have to go through that on Wednesday. She is probably a wreck inside and trying to act cool and not upset you. She probably needs a little alone time with her daughter, you know that is true.

Third, you have to stay strong for her and not stressing out over every little detail, I know that it's hard because you are trying to keep things running smoothly for her sake and don't want anything to happen to her. But, you have to lighten up and let her and yourself have a little down time without being so upset and just go with the flow. Things are going to happen the way God intended it to go and no amount of worrying is going to stop that. So live today as if it was your last and be happy you have the time to let her know how much you love her. Your health is also a factor, the more you keep your body upset, the more you are bringing down your own immune system. Life is so short and you shouldn't waste time worrying about something that might not even happen.

So Steve we all love you and Peg just go and put up your feet and enjoy your next few days. Don't worry, be happy together!


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## maggieh

Steve:

I know how horribly frustrating it is when someone you love is sick and it seems like all he** is breaking loose. We are all praying for you and for Peg and hope that everything goes well Wednesday and you get some encouraging answers.

In the meantime, take deep breaths, and know that everyone here is hoping for the best for both of you. Hugs from here and puppy slurps from Sweetness and Tessa.

Maggie


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## harrysmom

Steve,

You and Peg have my prayers. rayer: rayer: 

Debbie


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve, I so understand your frustration.... having had a few family members having to have many Dr/medical visits.. i sometimes felt like I wanted to scream at the blaise attitude .... mostly the clerical people.. the drs I found on the whole to be good and in the big picture that's who is important.

I have more than once had to deal with mis-communication and it wouldn't be so terrible if they at least acted a bit sorry. I did once say to one gal that I wonder if she be so nonchalant about the matter if it were HER family member. Having a serious condition is bad enough to have to cope with .

I'm sure you all are on edge and rightfully so... anyone is when surgery draws near... However from what you said her surgen sounds top-notch and he's the important one . It sounds like Peg is in good hands with him and that's the bottom line. 

Try to not let them bring out the white coat for you... I doubt they'd let you have internet service and we'd all miss you!!!! Yes, Steve,, I admit it!! ...I'd miss your posts!!!  

Be assured both Peg, and YOU are in my prayers... I know this is going to be a very anxious time until it's all over! BUT once it is over and all is well... that's the bottom line and all this aggrevation won't mean anything! You'll be so happy it will all be forgotten!


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## kathym

Sending well wishes that everything goes well Wendsday rayer: ...Stay strong :grouphug:


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## CrystalAndZoe

I wish I had something profound to say. Some wisdom or insight to share. All I can do is listen and offer my support. And of course you and Peg have my prayers. Hang in there. You will get through this. :grouphug:


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## MalteseJane

I am with Steve. I understand perfectly well what he is going through. I went through 2 surgeries in the last 5 years. Thankgoodness this did not happen to us because my husband would have exploded. My first surgery was done by the gynecologist I went to for over 20 years. He was fabulous. He arranged everything. And I mean everything. I went to see him on a Tuesday and I was in surgery on Friday. For my second surgery, one lady on the staff of the doctor organized everything. Scheduling the surgery and seeing the doctor who had to screen me to be in good health for the surgery. They recommended too that I give my own blood and told me to go to the blood bank. I gave blood over a 3 week period. There has to be a week interval between giving blood and each time they check your blood cells. I am glad that my daughter didn't came. I would not have wanted her there with kids. (she couldn't even if she wanted to). From my point of view, they are no help when they have 2 kids trailing behind them. They create more stress for the patient and the person living with the patient. The communications between the doctor's staff, the hospital and the insurance company were very good (we had a private french insurance at the time). We didn't pay a dime. The insurance paid 100%.
I wish you and Peg all the best for Wednesday. I am in Buckeye, if you need help just ask.


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## momtoboo

I'm sorry,sure sounds like more than enough stress for any one person to deal with at once. I think you're worried & stressed to the max.I've been there myself,so I understand completely. Wish I knew something really wise to tell you, but all I can do is sympathize & pray that better days will come for you & Peg both.Hang in there Steve. :grouphug:


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## jasmyne's mom

:grouphug: :grouphug: rayer: rayer: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## allheart

Steve,

Hang in there. They say it is so much harder on the person trying to be there for their spouse who is ill.
It is also so stressful leading up to the operation.

You are doing all you can, now get some rest, and shut out the world.

You and Peg are so deeply in my prayers.

Christine


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## Dixie's Mama

Steve, everyone each said some of what I was going to say to you. I know it is easier to be the one who is going through the operation than to be the one standing by. I've been both. You feel so helpless and scared when you are the care giver. I also know that anticipation of what is to come in these cases is almost worse than the surgery and recovery. It's just so nerve racking and you can't seem to think of anything else. Maybe Peg's daughter being there helps keep Peg's mind off of Wed. You need something to help you do the same. You also need to spend some alone time with Peg to just "be" together, maybe watch a favorite, funny movie or what ever may de-stress the both of you. It's not good that you feel left out of this. 
Hang in there Steve. I will keep you and Peg in my prayers. You vent here anytime you need to. We're here for you. God bless.


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## susie and sadie

Steve, we're all here for you and Peg. Hang in there, and know that the prayers are continuing for you both. :grouphug: rayer: rayer: :grouphug:


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## revakb2

I feel you frustration and pain. I have been dealing with similar problems for the last few months. My bother has cancer and my sisiter-in-law is having a mass removed from her spinal column tomorrow. They have had similar problems. Unfortunately, you must be your own medical advocat. Question everything, and double and triple check everything you are told. If you are not getting the responses you deserve, make a pest of yourself. Unfortunately, most of the people working in doctors offices are at best indifferent and at worst incompetent. I'm sure there are great people in the medical filed, but unfortunately for most it's just a job. I wish you and Peg a great result with the surgery, and a speedy recovery. 

As for family members, they probably mean well, but unfortunately they can also be very stressful. Hang in there.


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## totallytotontuffy

Oh Steve, so much going on coupled with a roller coaster of emotions on everyone's part. It sounds like you are trying to address everything head on and Peg and her daughter are maybe coping with it differently by trying to be "normal" and spend some quality time together. I think all of you share a common denominator emotion of sheer terror but reacting to it in a different way.

As far as the hospitals and doctors' offices mishaps, the only advice that I can give is that you sometimes have to raise the roof to get things done the right way and not to hesitate to do so. Make sure you reach out to a patient advocate at the hospital BEFORE you need him/her because undoubtedly something will occur during Peg's stay. As you know, it's bad enough to deal with a loved one's illness but to then have the added stress of incompetent care can truly be enough to send you over the edge.

As always, all of you have my love and prayers, Max & Rocky too. :grouphug:


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## msmagnolia

Steve,
I hope that it helps you to write about your frustrations. We are all sympathetic and appreciate all updates. Please try and hang in there. Have you considered taking some happy pills? Talk to your doctor. It might really help you during all of this! My heart goes out to you and Peg.......


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## Matilda's mommy

QUOTE (LUCY N PETS @ Aug 16 2009, 08:10 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818537


> First off I will tell you that I will keep prayers coming for you and Peg that everything goes good for her on Wednesday and for you that you don't get yourself in so much stress you can't control it.
> 
> Second, you have to put yourself in Peg's head now and think that maybe she is trying to not let it upset her more at this time. She has so much to deal with on the operation and the questions that have to be going on in her head. She is probably not thinking straight, and who can, knowing she is going to have to go through that on Wednesday. She is probably a wreck inside and trying to act cool and not upset you. She probably needs a little alone time with her daughter, you know that is true.
> 
> Third, you have to stay strong for her and not stressing out over every little detail, I know that it's hard because you are trying to keep things running smoothly for her sake and don't want anything to happen to her. But, you have to lighten up and let her and yourself have a little down time without being so upset and just go with the flow. Things are going to happen the way God intended it to go and no amount of worrying is going to stop that. So live today as if it was your last and be happy you have the time to let her know how much you love her. Your health is also a factor, the more you keep your body upset, the more you are bringing down your own immune system. Life is so short and you shouldn't waste time worrying about something that might not even happen.
> 
> So Steve we all love you and Peg just go and put up your feet and enjoy your next few days. Don't worry, be happy together![/B]




:goodpost: Steve, were all praying for you and Peg. I know you will probaly hate hearing this, but God doesn't give you more then you can handle, he might take you right to the end, but he is always there for you. I know it's true, I thought I would lose my mind a few times from stress, but I'm here to say God is faithful. I do think her daughter should have left her kids at home, not the best time for kids. to much stress. I wish I could give you a hug. We are here for you and Peg


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## Snowbody

Steve - you have every right to feel the way you do but try your hardest to calm down. I'm one of those in control people who is anal about the details in my own life and work, and expect others to be the same but. unfortunately, few are. You just have to do the best you can. As everyone says, be Peg's advocate, especially in the hospital after surgery. I was on them constantly when my loved ones were very ill. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and I really believe that nurses are angels, but you need to check everything.
I'm sure that Peg's beside herself with worry and her daughter and kids are a distraction and the visit affords them those golden moments to get time in. Try to understand, but also carve out moments and words for each other. No one means to marginalize you, they're all as stressed out as you are. You need to give them the space and not take it personally. Easier said than done I know. 
Be strong, be funny, be there and even if no one tells you, it will be a huge comfort. 
Now, if they try to put you in a straight jacket, just give a yell -- heck you couldn't do much else than that -- and all us SMers will come running with the shears to cut you out, kick some serious butt and get you back on SM. Seriously, you know we're all here for you and Peg and you can vent to us anytime. And we don't even charge for the "Doctor is in" advice we give. :grouphug: We're all praying for Peg and thinking good thoughts.


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## Max & Rocky

Peg's sister has arrived and her son will be here then later tonight. Dot is just a couple years younger than we are and will be a big help, even if her daughter is not.

Just after I posted that, Peg and I went out and had dinner alone. She is not a happy camper with respect to how her daughter is handling this. Just to give you an example, Caity is now creating 5 special deserts including something called creme de something. Peg is infuriated by it... she says it makes her feel like Caity believes she might not make it and so she is preparing her final meal! However, she says it is apparently Caity's coping method and we have to let her deal with it on her own...

She says she or she along with Dottie can handle everything over the next couple days... Oh yes... Caity has arranged spa time for tomorrow, but Peg says she clearly told her if something came up, she would get up and leave in the middle of a spa session.

And i *WILL* be a the hospital 24/7 if need be at least to the point I can handle it... I'm at the place now though that I have seen again and again that I can not count on Caity to even adequately take care of and watch her own kids, much less count on her to water things at the house or care for Max, Rocky, Chance, & Miki, etc or all those other things one needs to have done. We did problem solve though and we are write up a list of instructions for Dottie to take care of things. Dottie has not visited us much and so she just isn't as aware of our routines here as Caity should be.... It's 105 or 108 and I can't even get Caity to close the patio door to the house when she goes out to the pool... behavior i would expect of her 5 year old, but not her. I guess since she is a phd and a doctor's wife now, she doesn't have to worry about such mundane things.


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## pammy4501

Ah, Steve, I can feel your frustration. I have actually been on both sides of this fence. I had renal cell carcinoma 7 years ago and my husband had open heart surgery 5 years ago. And to add to it, I am a hospital healthcare worker. As much as I would like to tell you it's different, you must be in charge of your care here. I will give you a few tips. Never show up to an appointment without a paper and pen. Take notes (because you will not remember later) of everything that is said. Ask as many questions as you need to understand what is happening, who cares if he is late to his next appointment, your's is the most important. When you are in the hopsital, stay as much as humanly possible at her bedside. Insist that EVERYONE who touches her wash thier hands first. If you didn't see it, it didn't happen. Make them check her ID band before ANY meds are given or hung. Infections and medication errors are the most common errors in hosptials. Be a squeeky wheel. Don't worry if it is slightly annoying to the staff. Keep notes at the hospital too. If a test comes up, and you were not told in advance, question it. Question everything. Mistakes happen. Hospitals are wroking very hard these days to fix these problems and have enacted National Patient Safety Goals. I can provide them for you if you want. Just let me know.

As for Peg's daughter, all three of my kids reacted differently to my cancer diagnosis. They were not ready to deal with my mortality. They were scared and showed it in different ways. Myheart goes out to all of you. I will be thinking of you all and sending positive thought.


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## Snowbody

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 16 2009, 10:42 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818613


> Peg's sister has arrived and her son will be here then later tonight. Dot is just a couple years younger than we are and will be a big help, even if her daughter is not.
> 
> Just after I posted that, Peg and I went out and had dinner alone. She is not a happy camper with respect to how her daughter is handling this. Just to give you an example, Caity is now creating 5 special deserts including something called creme de something. Peg is infuriated by it... she says it makes her feel like Caity believes she might not make it and so she is preparing her final meal! However, she says it is apparently Caity's coping method and we have to let her deal with it on her own...
> 
> She says she or she along with Dottie can handle everything over the next couple days... Oh yes... Caity has arranged spa time for tomorrow, but Peg says she clearly told her if something came up, she would get up and leave in the middle of a spa session.
> 
> And i *WILL* be a the hospital 24/7 if need be at least to the point I can handle it... I'm at the place now though that I have seen again and again that I can not count on Caity to even adequately take care of and watch her own kids, much less count on her to water things at the house or care for Max, Rocky, Chance, & Miki, etc or all those other things one needs to have done. We did problem solve though and we are write up a list of instructions for Dottie to take care of things. Dottie has not visited us much and so she just isn't as aware of our routines here as Caity should be.... It's 105 or 108 and I can't even get Caity to close the patio door to the house when she goes out to the pool... behavior i would expect of her 5 year old, but not her. I guess since she is a phd and a doctor's wife now, she doesn't have to worry about such mundane things.[/B]


Hoping for Dot calm. Couldnt resist that Steve, since you're usually the one bringing a smile to our faces.. But seriously I think it will help to have another grown up around. I do think Peg's daughter is scared and the desserts and spa are two ways of trying to "make things better." don't think it's a last meal thing at all. Think comfort food and a body treat. You'll be fine and if the plants aren't watered so be it. Lower on the list. Taking care of the fluffs, high on the list. Prioritize and pick your battles. Everyone's walking on glass so try not to sweat small stuff and stay focused positively.


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## njdrake

Steve, I'm so sorry and I know this is such a stressful time for you and Peg. I'll keep you both in my prayers. Please keep us updated.
Hugs to you both.


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## angel's mom

Steve, I wish I could put into words what my heart feels. I'm not so good with words.

I am so glad and thankful that you are able to come here and vent your frustrations. I really am. You are going through so very much right now with the fear and concern for Peg and what she's going through. Then all the commotion going on at your house, not to mention the incompetencies with the medical personnel. That's a lot to keep bottled up inside. You come here and vent, and no one there is the wiser. Hopefully the release does make you feel a little lighter though. 

I'm sorry you have been feeling marginalized. You have to know that there is no way Peg would marginalize you. She counts on you too much. She knows where her strength lies. You've been her rock for too many years. I'm sure she does feel like she's in a tough spot between you and her daughter. Caity may be a whack job anyway, but right now, I'm sure she's scared too. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt when I say she's probably doing what she thinks she needs to to help her mom out. The spa thing sounds a bit extreme, but Caity may really feel that it will help Peg, maybe give her a bit of relaxation especially in light of all the stress she's dealing with. 

Now with the additional people showing up, it could get even more stressful at your house. Maybe you could make a point of spending a few minutes alone with Peg each day. Take a walk or a car ride for even 15 minutes, because that alone time for the two of you is important now. Hug each other. Sometimes, just sitting quietly and holding hands says alot.

:grouphug: to you and to Peg. I will continue to hold you two up in my prayer. And, vent away, my friend. That's what friends are for.


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## pinkheadbaby

Steve,
You're in a tough place for sure. Hang in there - you & Peg have a lot of prayers going upstairs for you. It's so aggevating (sp?) to deal with so many people & their stress when you mind is about to blow.
I agree with all advice given by Pammy. I work in a hospital also & welcome patients & their families to ask questions. I think that my patients who question are more intelligent!
God Bless & Hugs :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## godiva goddess

Continuing to send good wishes and prayers for you and Peg!! rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## joyomom

Keeping you and Peg in my prayers each and every day.....


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

I have been keeping you and Peg in my prayers, Steve. I really can't add anything more to the advice you have already gotten here from other members. I do understand your stress and worry. Bless your heart. And, hugs for both you and Peg.


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## Tanner's Mom

Steve, you & Peg will be in my thoughts. My husband had 2 surgeries this year, I had 1 and I totally agree with what everyone is saying. Be proactive, question, take notes, and take care.


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## triste

Wow. I know that the health care system is a rough one to deal with. I have been on both sides as well. It s*cks that you have to be an advocate in this day and age. I would suggest taking a pad of paper and pen and writing down things that you want to remember on the day of surgery. 

I wish you the very best and pray things go smoothly for Peg.


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## theboyz

Steve, first please know that Bob and I are praying for YOU and Peg.

Can you put "daughter" up in a motel? It is easier to have your home just to yourselves, less stress and a calm environment to come home to. Any friends that would take her in for a bit?

You need your space right now...that is so important for YOUR health and well-being. Please consider this as I have "been there and done that".

You vent all you want to us!! Better "said" than kept to yourself. We have solutions and support for both of you anytime.

Marsha


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## Gail

I've worked in Health Care for 34 years. You need to double check everything. It's sad to say the least. I never take for granted someone has done their job properly. If I have an appointment scheduled, I call to confirm. If I have a test ordered, I call to confirm. I'd suggest everyone do the same.


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## lillykins

QUOTE (Angel's Mom @ Aug 16 2009, 10:51 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818649


> I'm sorry you have been feeling marginalized.
> I'm sure [Peg] does feel like she's in a tough spot between you and her daughter.[/B]


I'm sorry a rotten situation is being made more awful by these additional stressors.
Despite my own life experiences, I won't tell you I understand your feelings, because I'm not you.
What I can say is that I have read up on being a caregiver, and I know it's often more stressful than being the patient.
Talk to your OWN doctor about things you can do/ways you can handle what's going on.

Maybe you need to set ground rules and actions that will be taken if they are not followed:
*anyone coming to the house is there to clean the bathroom, prepare meals, scrub floors, feed dogs, do laundry, grocery shop. 
*visitors are NOT there to be entertained and visitors are not there to entertain Peg.
*any visitor unable to entertain/feed/clothe themself for the duration of the visit is not welcome.

if the rules sound harsh, remember: PEG'S GOT CANCER; SHE'S HAVING MAJOR SURGERY. IT'S YOUR HOUSE.
it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

again, please consider talking to your own doctor about ways you can reduce some of the stress you're experiencing.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with this response; my husband and I will continue our prayers for a healthy household.


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## angel's mom

:grouphug: For you and Peg today.


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## Max & Rocky

Just a quick response to some of you posts.

First, I hope I haven't offended anyone in the medical profession. I don't claim to understand the how or whys of the problems we have had. I'm sure many of these people are over worked and having to juggle too many things at once. I also believe it is office staff/answering services, etc instead of the professionals such as nurses or doctors that are perhaps not doing their jobs as well as I would hope. Whatever the exact title, Peg and I are both from the generation that if we tell someone we are going to do something, we do it and so we are both finding this to be a source of frustration for us.

I do thank everyone for your suggestions, words of support, and overall understanding. I've had a knife pulled on me, been shot at, and crash landed an airplane (and these are just a few sample things which come to mind). I've never felt as stressed by any of those incidents as I have been the last few days. (and I also escaped all those things without a scratch!)

Anyway, tomorrow Caity is going to stay at her dad's place (Peg's Ex) with the kids for a few days. It is closer to the hospital too. 

No relationships have been harmed in all of this. I apologized Friday evening to Caity for totally loosing my temper with her, which I should not have done. At the same time though, some of the details of what was happening at the time plus what I felt to be a very condescending attitude toward me needed to change and it has.


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## camfan

That's a good update, Steve. Writing is a very good form of getting things off your chest. We are here for you!!

My thoughts are with you and Peg.

Take care of yourself, too. :grouphug:


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## lillykins

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 17 2009, 10:21 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818755


> I do thank everyone for your suggestions, words of support, and overall understanding. I've had a knife pulled on me, been shot at, and crash landed an airplane. I've never felt as stressed by any of those incidents as I have been the last few days.[/B]


Awww... 
Don't discount how you feel; it's the fight-or-flight response that keeps us alive.

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 17 2009, 10:21 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818755


> Anyway, tomorrow Caity is going to stay at her dad's place (Peg's Ex) with the kids for a few days. It is closer to the hospital too.[/B]


Sounds like an excellent plan. Both you and Peg will get the best of both worlds: visits with people you dearly love, but the house will be calmer for you and Peg to be able to feel 'normal' and be able to rejuvenate.

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 17 2009, 10:21 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818755


> No relationships have been harmed in all of this.[/B]


This is the best news so far!


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## Deborah

Steve,
Thank you for the update. You need to find out if the hospital will let you stay overnight. A lot of hospitals will not let you do that. As I learned from when my dad was ill I shouldn't have stayed 24/7. That is a huge stressor. You and Peg's sister need to go out to lunch and dinner. Depending on how far away the hospital is from your home you might want to stay in a hotel room close to the hospital. Peg's daughter may use baking as a way to cope but she should not be putting extra stress on you. All of the things you said that happened to you was less stressful because it was happening to you and not a loved one for you that was a fight or flight stress and you were able to do something about it. It is so much harder being on the outside looking in.

Call your Dr. and get a prescription for Xanax. It will calm you down and perhaps you can get some sleep.

I am so praying for you and Peg. rayer:


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## MalteseJane

That's better. When Peg comes home from the hospital don't let Caity move back in with you. The less people are in the home when she comes home the better. She needs to be able to rest. You don't want two kids running around the house all day long. And you will be busy taking care of Peg. They send you home from the hospital so fast now. In France you can go to a convalescent facility for 3 weeks after the hospital, I don't know if such a thing exists here. We didn't ask when I was discharged, my husband was able to take care of me, even gave me shots.


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## chichi

No words of wisdom,just sending :grouphug: and prayers to both of you, and will be thinking of you on Wed.


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## Lacie's Mom

Steve, my heart goes out to both you and to Peg. Still going through this with Jerry, I completely understand the incompetencies of most of the health care providers.

Jerry went into ER just a week ago because his heart was skipping beats and the pacemaker wasn't helping. His doctor told him to go to ER. DH decided to go to the ER closest to his house (Arrowhead) even though we have had nothing but problems with this ER in the past. So they bring in the rep from Boston Scientific (the manufacturer of the pacemaker) and he tells Jerry that Dr. Shor put in the pacemaker and that the 3rd wire has never been connected. That happened in early April, but in mid-April when Jerry was at the University Medical Center in Tucson, Dr. Ott was able to connect the 3rd wire. In early May when Jerry was at the same ER, they had to draw his blood 6 times and still couldn't get the reading that they wanted. They released him as he was screaming that he was SICK. I got to Phx later that evening and took one look at Jerry and took him to Scottsdale on Shea. They immediately admitted him becaue his kidneys had completely stopped functioning (about 4 days earlier) but Arrowhead ER never found this. Scottsdale found it in about 20 minutes from a simple blood test. And while in the hostpiatl at Scottsdale, they "retuned" his pacemaker with the rep at their hospital from Boston Scientific. And he seemed to have the correct info about the pacemaker. This is just one example of everything I've gone through with Jerry since the first of the year.

So, I truly feel your pain. And Jerry and I have had many arguments about his care over the last 9 months. I think this is common when someone you love is very ill. In any event, I have been the one that was right with all of the decisions and info but often after the fact because he went ahead and did what he wanted.

It's even harder not being with him most of the time. What he tells me, versus what his daugther or the doctors tell me is often wrong on his part. Sometimes I think he hears what he wants to hears.

In any event, my heart goes out to you, Peg and the family. Prayers that all goes well on Wednesday. rayer: rayer: rayer: :grouphug: :grouphug: 

Try to "bite your tongue" as the arguing really doesn't help either of you. 

And which hospital is she going to be in? Scottsdale on Shea and the 101 is truly the very best hospital I've ever experienced.


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## tamizami

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: rayer: rayer: rayer: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
And I will second the recommendation for Xanax to help you through this.


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## MalteseJane

QUOTE


> Scottsdale on Shea and the 101 is truly the very best hospital I've ever experienced[/B]


I will keep this one in mind. We are close to Del Webb on Meeker. But don't know how good it is.


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## Max & Rocky

QUOTE (Lacie's Mom @ Aug 17 2009, 11:37 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=818850


> And which hospital is she going to be in? Scottsdale on Shea and the 101 is truly the very best hospital I've ever experienced.[/B]


LOL. We could throw a rock from out house and hit it... (well, ok it's a 1/2 mile away).

This surgery is at Banner Good Sam downtown as that is where the surgeon works. My only other experience has been Paradise Valley hospital, where my knee replacement was done. Peg stayed in the hospital there a couple of nights with me (and thank god she did). I had a nurse who basically refused to give me pain meds one night and would chew me out if I asked for anything. Peg was not fully up on what she could challange and that night went more or less unchallanged. Then the next nurse who came on duty was 180 degrees different and wondered why I had not been taking meds to manage the pain. LOL!! Anyway, we were fully aware the following night was I was allowed and what I wasn't and we got no more grief at all from the nursing staff.

But even with what I just mentioned, the real kicker at this hospital was the guy who had had spinal surgery whose bed was soaked in his own spinal fluids (I guess?) and had vomitted over night and could have died in his own vomit… There were 2 nurses who then stood there and lied about their checking on him over night in front of the head nurse and family members. Peg was so shocked as she was hearing this that she did not know what to do. However, she did eventually go talk to someone (the head of nursing??).


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## MalteseJane

Oh my gosh Steve this is just awful. I cannot complain, they never refused me pain med on the contrary. But for over 2 hours in the night they tried to find another vein for the blood transfusion. They ended up getting somebody from the ER to try. I can tell you, it was no fun. In a way it was better that my husband was not there because he would not have been able to stand it. I know also that even if a hospital is closer to you, you have to go to the one your surgeon is affiliated with. The kind of care you receive depends also on the department of the hospital you are going to be. My daughter delivered her baby at Arrowhead hospital and was happy with the care received.


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## Matilda's mommy

:hugging: rayer:


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## Lacie's Mom

I've experienced everything that you've described -- but at not Scottsdale on Shea. It's like another world. It's the MOST WONDERFUL hospital in the world. 24 hour food ordering from a menu (there are different colored pages depending on what type of diet you're on) -- and the food is pretty good. Everything was on time -- no wait at check-in, everything was completed accurately. Great doctors and nurses, great social workers. Most of the people that man various desks (like the surgery waiting area) are volunteers and are older (like me and Jerry LOL). I think they have gone through these types of events and make certain that you don't expereince the same.

Everyone kept me informed every step of the way -- even when Jerry was in surgery for a lot longer than originally expected.

I've slept there several times while Jerry was staying there and everyone has gone out of their way to make me comfortable (and Jerry too).

And -- they even have valet parking!!! FOR FREE. :biggrin:

(My father was in Good Sam more than 30 years ago -- long before Banner took it over, but my mother was in a Banner hospital in Mesa and it was terrible, imo. I had to fight tooth and nail for everything. :huh: )


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## pammy4501

Please remember that there is also a "Patient Bill of Rights". And one of those rights is to have your pain 
managed. No nurse should be refusing you pain meds. If you see any of that type of behavior, ask to
speak to the nursing supervisoror the administor on duty. You do not have to accept that kind of care.


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## garrettsmom

Makes me cringe to hear incompetant hospital/staff stories....unfortunately, as in any profession there are the stellar employees and the ones I wouldn't allow to care for my own family members. As an RN of 26 yrs I know how insanely busy it can be, but IMO opinion managing a patients level is one of the top priorities of care. I hope you and Peg encounter a pleasant competant staff during her hospitalization. It will be stressful and overwhelming at times....remember, one day at a time.


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## garrettsmom

meant to say managing a patients *pain * level


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## angel's mom

Another :grouphug: for you two. Today will, I'm sure be very hectic. Still, find a minute to stop and smell the roses together Peg will be fine. Her doctor is one of the best. I'll be thinking of you two and including you in my prayers.


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## Max & Rocky

This just keeps getting stranger...

Peg, Dottie, and Caity had a trip to the spa today and then this afternoon, they had to go past the cardiologists office and pick up some films and or records. Her stress test that she understood she passed yesterday wasn't as clean as we first thought…

There is a dark spot on a ventricle…. So no surgery tomorrow and instead, she will go in at 11 AM for an angiogram which could result in a stent. Then somehow the surgeon who never does surgeries on Thursday will do her surgery Thursday.


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## angel's mom

It's hard to see, I'm sure, but remember you don't get rainbows with the rain.  Let us know when the angiogram is over. It's a good thing they are taking all these pre-surgery precautions!


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## MalteseJane

Isn't that a little bit too much so close together ? Putting in a stent is in itself surgery not counting the angiogram. And Thursday the other surgery ? That's two anesthesia in 24 hours.


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## Snowbody

QUOTE (MalteseJane @ Aug 18 2009, 07:42 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=819311


> Isn't that a little bit too much so close together ? Putting in a stent is in itself surgery not counting the angiogram. And Thursday the other surgery ? That's two anesthesia in 24 hours.[/B]


I agree though I'm not a professional. Does seem awfully close together for these two types of procedures. Thinking original surgery would be better next week to see that she's fine from the first. I thought that the stress test was kind of close to the surgery and now this doubling up. Don't let them rush you with anything. You have a choice and need to choose whatever's best for Peg. The first surgeon isn't going on vacation or something next week,is he and rushing it? Make sure both surgeons think this is a good idea. But whatever, you know we're thinking about your and praying. :grouphug: Let us know how it goes tomorrow.


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## pammy4501

QUOTE (MalteseJane @ Aug 18 2009, 04:42 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=819311


> Isn't that a little bit too much so close together ? Putting in a stent is in itself surgery not counting the angiogram. And Thursday the other surgery ? That's two anesthesia in 24 hours.[/B]


Angiograms and stent placements are not true surgical procedures, and do not require full anesthesia.


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## godiva goddess

Steve, I will continue to pray for your family and Peg everyday. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## angel's mom

QUOTE (pammy4501 @ Aug 18 2009, 07:56 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=819346


> QUOTE (MalteseJane @ Aug 18 2009, 04:42 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=819311





> Isn't that a little bit too much so close together ? Putting in a stent is in itself surgery not counting the angiogram. And Thursday the other surgery ? That's two anesthesia in 24 hours.[/B]


Angiograms and stent placements are not true surgical procedures, and do not require full anesthesia.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Still, though. I know both times I've had stents put in, my cardiologist has stressed the importance of being on blood thinners for at least three months to prevent the formation of clots within the stents. I'm sure, though, that the regular surgeon will consult with the cardiologist before he does the cancer surgery.


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## bonniesmom

Steve, I can't add much to what everyone else has said, but just want to let you know my thoughts are with you and Peg and I so hope that
Peg's procedures go smoothly and that the outcome of the surgery will be the best possible. And maybe Xanax wouldn't be a bad idea - it's a
great drug when you need it. Many :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: to you and Peg.


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## KAG

Lots of love and good luck wishes heading your way. Been praying like crazy.
xoxoxo


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve...came to let you and peg know the prayers were already on the way for her sugery and read thru and see it has been postponed until tomorrow and the possible stent procedure for today...sooooooo.. the prayers for all to go OK for "THAT" will be going out. 

As to care/competence of hospitals I've found from my family members and of those who have shared experience that regardless of hospital it can vary from unit to unit/floor to floor/ and nurse to nurse. Many times even depends upon the 'demands' of a particular DR. For instance I've seen Dr/ nurse relationships be very 'relaxed' and other times , as with my BIL's nephrologist..when she says "jump" the staff asks 'how high'. She expects a certain 'standard' and the staff better follow thru or else! 

As to Peg.. I feel with the overwhelming amount of prayers going out for her, things WILL go well! 
I'm sure the stress level at this point is pretty overwhelming for you all so additional prayers for you too!


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## sophie

Just sending lots of hugs and tons of prayers!

Linda


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## camfan

Thinking of you both today :grouphug:


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## CrystalAndZoe

Just wanted to let you and Peg know I'm thinking of you both and praying for you both today.

Hugs...


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## Snowbody

You're both in my thoughts today. :grouphug:


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## CeeCee's Mom

Yes, prayers were said at 6.00am this morning for Peg and Steve. We are with you in spirit today!!! God Bless the both of you!!!!


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## plenty pets 20

I am sending my prayers for Peg too Steve and hope all goes well today and through all the surgeries. Being on the medical merri-go-round is no fun, but just keep informed and stay by Pegs side. Every patient needs a family or friend advocate to keep watch. It keeps the hospital staff on their toes too, knowing someone is watching. God Bless


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## donnad

Sending prayers and good thoughts


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## totallytotontuffy

rayer:


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## momtoboo

Thinking of you & Peg today. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Deborah

Thinking of both of you today. rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## k/c mom

Steve, thinking of you and Peg today. rayer:


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## Dixie's Mama

I want you to know you are in my prayers today Steve and Peg. rayer:


Edit: I just read through the most recent update Steve. I'm still praying for you for today and tomorrow.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

I'm thinking of both of you today, Steve and Peg. :grouphug:


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## Maria71

Praying for the both of you :grouphug: rayer:


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## Matilda's mommy

Steve you and Peg have been on my mind all day, I have been praying,

Holy all seeing God keep your precious arms wrapped around Peg and Steve, be with the doctors give them wisdom and Lord guide them through this surgery. I pray Peg's recovery would go well, may she rest in your arms and may Steve find rest for his tired soul. Lord your a God of miracles and I'm believing in one. Thank you Lord Jesus Amen


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## gatiger40

:grouphug: rayer: As someone who has delt with the medical world way too much these past few weeks I feel your pain and frustration. I think sometimes they forget there are real people behind all those tests and charts. Things that are routine for them, are very new to the patient and their family.

Praying for a good outcome.


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## mom2bijou

Prayers for Peg today and everyday. Steve, stay strong. I know that is easier said than done. Please know we are all here for you.


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## LUCY N PETS

rayer: Prayers still going for you and Peg. Hope things went well today. rayer:


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## Matilda's mommy

just checkin in :hugging: rayer:


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## harrysmom

Checking in.... thinking of you both and hoping everything went well.

Debbie


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## sassy's mommy

Just checking in, hope all went well today.


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## coco

Steve, you've been on my mind today. I hope things went well.


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## Max & Rocky

I just wanted to clarify for everyone because I am not sure some of my posts have been all that lucid.

The surgery today was delayed. Peg had had an EKG and whatever it is where they inject you with some sort of isotope. They thought they had seen something unusual on the EKG and then whatever the nuclear isotope test is called seemed to show a small spot, I guess indicative of a blockage.

They are being super careful about things so the surgery got called off today and she had the procedure where they go in and check if there is a blockage and put a stent in, if needed. In fact, we just got home from that.

We will take all the good news that comes our way... Peg passed with flying colors. No obstructions at all... it was a false positive.

We were pretty sure this was the case because it wasn't that many years ago that Peg was still running, including marathons and she has always been very careful about her diet and exercise... One of our early dates was a 30 or 40 mile bike ride... Peg's sister Dottie joined us on that ride and even though she is a few years younger, we did a could job of putting her away.... Ops... her I go on another tangent.

Anyway, Peg will never did of a heart blockage, so the surgery is now to be Friday morning. :smilie_tischkante: It may seem like it, but I'm really not making this all up.


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## Hunter's Mom

QUOTE (Matilda's Mommy @ Aug 19 2009, 02:15 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=819600


> Steve you and Peg have been on my mind all day, I have been praying,
> 
> Holy all seeing God keep your precious arms wrapped around Peg and Steve, be with the doctors give them wisdom and Lord guide them through this surgery. I pray Peg's recovery would go well, may she rest in your arms and may Steve find rest for his tired soul. Lord your a God of miracles and I'm believing in one. Thank you Lord Jesus Amen[/B]


What a beautiful prayer Paula! I have always been in awe of those who can convey such beautiful words to God.

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 19 2009, 10:09 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=819756


> I just wanted to clarify for everyone because I am not sure some of my posts have been all that lucid.
> 
> The surgery today was delayed. Peg had had an EKG and whatever it is where they inject you with some sort of isotope. They thought they had seen something unusual on the EKG and then whatever the nuclear isotope test is called seemed to show a small spot, I guess indicative of a blockage.
> 
> They are being super careful about things so the surgery got called off today and she had the procedure where they go in and check if there is a blockage and put a stent in, if needed. In fact, we just got home from that.
> 
> We will take all the good news that comes our way... Peg passed with flying colors. No obstructions at all... it was a false positive.
> 
> We were pretty sure this was the case because it wasn't that many years ago that Peg was still running, including marathons and she has always been very careful about her diet and exercise... One of our early dates was a 30 or 40 mile bike ride... Peg's sister Dottie joined us on that ride and even though she is a few years younger, we did a could job of putting her away.... Ops... her I go on another tangent.
> 
> Anyway, Peg will never did of a heart blockage, so the surgery is now to be Friday morning. :smilie_tischkante: It may seem like it, but I'm really not making this all up.[/B]


Your posts are as lucid as they always have been  . Just let me know when you want that tight white jacket; its waiting for you :smrofl: . I'm certainly that that it was a false positive and things can proceed. I will be thinking of you both on Friday! rayer:


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## CeeCee's Mom

Well, that is excellent news about her heart! Tell her we have been thinking about her and praying for both of you!!! Get some rest and take it easy tomorrow so she can be rested for the surgery on Friday......God Bless!!!!


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## tamizami

Glad to hear you are over that bump and hoping for a successful surgery on Friday....will be thinking of you both.


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## Snowbody

Relieved that the old ticker is good, but talk about stress with this whole thing. Could give you a heart attack-yak-yak. Man, Peg's got nothing over Gray's Anatomy. Her doc isn't Dr. McDreamy or McSteamy is it -- though Steve you could be McSteamy with steam coming out of your ears from all this.  Am trying to keep this light and hoping today was a good sign and prayers for Friday. :grouphug: Thanks for updating us!! Night to you both.


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## lovesophie

(((Prayers for Peg)))

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I'll be thinking of her. I hope everything goes smoothly on Friday. rayer:

Keep us posted, please.


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## Maidto2Maltese

Great news on Peg's heart!... will continue the prayers till she is thru the surgery and all is well!


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## phesty

I'm glad to hear that the EKG was a false positive! I'll be praying for you both on Friday.


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## Starsmom

Just thinkng of you and Peg...hope all goes well today. rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## Matilda's mommy

Thank you Lord for Peg and for a healthy heart, still prayin Steve


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## bellapuppy

Good news on her heart. Prayers coming your way. God bless you both.


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## Deborah

Good news is always welcomed. Now praying for Friday. rayer:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Steve and Peg, you continue to be in my prayers and thoughts. Tomorrow night at this time, I pray to read news of an outcome to a successful surgery. 

Warm and healing hugs being sent your way ...


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## Snowbody

Prayers and thoughts for Peg tomorrow.


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## Moxie'smom

Sending prayers for you and Peg.


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## joyomom

Sending prayers, lighting special candles for Peg and sending positive healing energy your way.

Hugs to all of you :wub:


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## Maglily

Thinking of you.


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## CeeCee's Mom

Prayers were said early this morning for Peg and for her surgeon.......I am thinking of both of you!!! God be with you both!!!!


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## Cosy

Thinking and praying for Peg and the guidance and skill of the doctors as they help her.


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## MalteseJane

Thinking of you :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## totallytotontuffy

Though we can't be in the waiting room sitting (or pacing) with you Steve, please know that our thoughts and prayers are reaching through cyberspace and our arms are around you. :grouphug:


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## Matilda's mommy

I had a sleep study last night, and layed awake praying for you and Peg, still praying, hang in there Steve :hugging:


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## harrysmom

Steve and Peg,

Thinking of you and wishing you both well.
rayer: rayer:


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## Lacie's Mom

Steve -- sending prayers and hugs to you and Peg. Please update when you can. You've been on my mind all day.

rayer: rayer: rayer: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## susie and sadie

Continued prayers for you and Peg. You have both been in my thoughts and prayers all day. :grouphug: rayer: rayer: :grouphug:


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## gatiger40

Just checking to see if there was an update. Praying for the best outcome possible for Peg! :grouphug: rayer:


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## Max & Rocky

We spent the entire day at the hospital from 7 am this morning. Peg finally went into surgery at 1 PM and came out at 6 PM, which was longer than expected. However the doc said everything went very well. They took out half the pancreas and her gall bladder. The tissue testing they did today was inconclusive and we will not have a final word until next week. However the dr said everything looked good. Her lymph nodes also looked good. We went in to ICU about 8:00 or 8:30 and saw her a little. She had her breathing tube out and was able to talk, though she didn't really open her eyes. She is doing pretty well, considering the surgery she went through.


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## 3Maltmom

I was just about to respond, to let everyone know. You must be so tired, Steve.

Bless Peg's, and your, heart. I haven't been on much, but have been worried sick.
Edie has kept me updated on my dear friends.

We love you, so very much, Steve and Peg. 

Thank you for the call, Steve. I know all will be fine. In the mean time, I'm still praying like crazy.
Anything you need, just let me know. I'm here for you.

:grouphug: 

Lovies to our Peg,

Deb, Jops, Frankie, LBB, Henry, Raul, Coby, Gulliver, and DJ


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## LUCY N PETS

I have been waiting for your update and glad to hear that the surgery went well and is over and now I will pray that all she had to do is recover from the surgery. Hope you can get some well deserved rest now Steve and give Peg a big hug and kiss for me. Consider this one your hug for the day. :sLo_grouphug3:


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## Starsmom

rayer: rayer: May the news be good and Peg recovers quickly. :sLo_grouphug3:


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## angel's mom

So glad the surgery is over. Will be praying that the results will come back with good news. Hugs to you and Peg


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

I'm happy to hear the surgery went well, Steve. I hope you can get a little rest. My prayers continue for both you and Peg.


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## allheart

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 22 2009, 12:40 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=820708


> We spent the entire day at the hospital from 7 am this morning. Peg finally went into surgery at 1 PM and came out at 6 PM, which was longer than expected. However the doc said everything went very well. They took out half the pancreas and her gall bladder. The tissue testing they did today was inconclusive and we will not have a final word until next week. However the dr said everything looked good. Her lymph nodes also looked good. We went in to ICU about 8:00 or 8:30 and saw her a little. She had her breathing tube out and was able to talk, though she didn't really open her eyes. She is doing pretty well, considering the surgery she went through.[/B]



Steve,

Thanks so much for the update. Bless you and Peg.....you both are held so close in all our hearts and prayers.
Be sure and try and get some rest if you can.

All our love, now and always!!!!


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## maggieh

We're so glad to hear the good news so far, Steve. We're continuing to pray for an easy recovery and good news on all the pathology. Hugs and puppy slurps from us.

Maggie, Sweetness and Tessa


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## CeeCee's Mom

Oh, I am so glad Peg is out of surgery.........I pray the test come back and they have gotten everything out~~~Get some rest and I am still praying for the both of you!!!!


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## theboyz

Steve, I am so glad the surgery is over. Please let Peg know that she has a huge SM family praying and asking about her.


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## k/c mom

I'm so glad the surgery is over with and I hope that all of the test results are good. You all have been through so much, lately... I can imagine the stress you both have been under. I hope it is all behind you now.


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## sassy's mommy

Hoping Peg is doing well and the lab results are in soon. Hopefully things will not be as bad as suspected and you two can get on with your life.


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## Snowbody

So thankful that Peg came out of it well. I think it's also a good sign that they felt they could take out what they did and feel good about it. Praying for good results, a speedy recovery and a good outcome. Try to get some rest and strength back to help Peg through this. I know it's been so stressful. We're all here for both of you and praying like crazy. :grouphug:


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## momtoboo

Hugs to you & Peg,I hope she is feeling better this morning. Praying for good test results. rayer:


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## Matilda's mommy

one day at a time Steve, we are all lifting Peg and you to the Lord, God will give you rest for your weary souls. I thank God Peg made it through fine, I believe in miracles and I'm thanking God in advance.


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## Deborah

Another major hurdle has been passed. Sounds as if you are going to finally have some good news.
Thank you so much for keeping us informed I am such you are exhausted mentally and physically. :hugging: Make sure you get some rest.


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## CrystalAndZoe

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 22 2009, 12:40 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=820708


> We spent the entire day at the hospital from 7 am this morning. Peg finally went into surgery at 1 PM and came out at 6 PM, which was longer than expected. However the doc said everything went very well. They took out half the pancreas and her gall bladder. The tissue testing they did today was inconclusive and we will not have a final word until next week. However the dr said everything looked good. Her lymph nodes also looked good. We went in to ICU about 8:00 or 8:30 and saw her a little. She had her breathing tube out and was able to talk, though she didn't really open her eyes. She is doing pretty well, considering the surgery she went through.[/B]


Bless you both. Continued prayers for you both. This really does sound optimistic. Give Peg a hug from us. And hugs to you too. :grouphug:


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## Dixie's Mama

Thanks for the update, Steve. You must be exhausted. Sounds good for Peg, thank the Lord. I will continue my prayers for you both. :grouphug:


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## Cosy

So glad to hear the surgery went well and Peg is doing okay.


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## Maisie and Me

Dear Steve,
I just found this thread tonight as I was away for a few days. I am sooo sorry to hear about all the terrible things you've all been through the last week. Please know that I have been praying for all of you since you first posted about Peg. She is on the cancer prayer list at our parish and was prayed for Wed. evening at Prayer group and at all Masses.
I understand your frustation at the medical world esp when you have such a serious situation to contend with, but please know that as an E.R. nurse for 30+ years there are still some very competant, caring and loving people out there! Our prayer was also that all of her care be guided by the Holy Spirit, esp. her doctors and nurses!
Definitely advocate for Peg, but try to get some rest esp. if she is still in ICU. She will hopefully receive good care there and it is an opportunity to "relax" a little and let the staff do their work. You need to be in good shape when she comes home.
I know others have posted of terrible care they recieved at different facilites but hopefully Peg will have the best of the best! (and there are Tons of them out there. Just remember we are very stressed too and have to spend wayyyyyy toooo much time on the computer now instead of the pts. bedside) You have come through so much in the last week, be proud of yourself and Peg.
May God continue to bless and uphold both of you AND her children.


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## Bonnie's Mommie

I'm so glad to read the encouraging update, Steve. Sounds like Peg is in very good hands. I'll keep you both in positive thoughts. Thanks for taking the time to keep us posted. 

Hugs to you and especially Peg.


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve, 
Sounds like things are going very well !! You both must be so relieved to have gotten over this step on her road to feeling well again! I'm sure Peg is in good hands... just be sure to take care of YOU too! ..you want to feel fit when your sweet wife comes home!


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## joyomom

Prayers of thanksgiving! God bless you both!
Will continue sending wellness and healing thoughts to Peg!
Thank you for posting!


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## Max & Rocky

Today was a pretty good day. She was at times sleepy, but generally very alert today and engaging in the rapid fire back and forth that she does with her family and friends. She was moved out of ICU into a regular room about 6 this evening. She has a couple of little medicine balls (though not much larger than tennis balls) that are plumbed directly into the wound site. These will finish dispensing in an anther day or two and will apparently come out then. She is on drip morphine of course and she has a feeding tube (so far, unused) and another tube that is pumping out her stomach. So this is something like the third day with only water. They will start feeding her once things start moving on the other end.... which hopefully will be tomorrow. She was up and walked 3 times today. The first time she was up, she asked how far she should go. She then took the answer and insisted on doing 3 times what was recommended.... :wub:  My wife is a female jack and there is just no way around it!! She insisted on having the folly out and then her last trip was a trip to the bathroom with me along keeping an eye on things, even though she required no help at all.

She has this huge horizontal incision across her middle. I swear it looks almost like they cut her in two and then sewed the two haves together again. I keep telling her not to over do it and she kind of humors me, but then pushes herself anyway. I am in total awe of her. I had a knee replaced few years back and I wasn't walking as much or as fast as she is and trust me, my surgery was a LOT less than what she went through.

He he.... I just had an EVIL thought... I had my knee replaced in July and in early October of that year, the two of us were riding bicycles up and down Pacific Coast Highway from Camp Pendalton all the way to the northern outskirts of San Diego.

Because of my male pride, I could not show her how bad this was killing me at the time... but trust me... It was a "vacation" but at the time, I felt as though I was running a marathon every day for a week... so it was a real killer "vacation".

Turn about would be fair, right? <evil laugh>


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## MalteseJane

This is great news Steve. She is doing very well. You are right to tell her not to over do it. If she does, it could back fire. Better go slow and surely. Hopefully everything will come back normal. Inconclusive is a good sign. I think the surgeons know right away just by looking at it if it's bad or not. But of course to be a 100% sure you need the lab tests. She is a lucky lady that they found out about this so early on. Most of the time, pancreatic cancer is diagnosed too late. She can live without a gall blader, lots of people do.


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## Snowbody

Peg's amazing but please do try to encourage her to take it easy and not overdo it. Incredible that she's out of ICU after all that. Hoping for more good news and tell her though her bikini wearing days and chance to be a Victoria's Secret Model may be over LOL she's just a beautiful as ever. Take care


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

It's great to hear positive news, Steve. It's also great that Peg is up and moving. That is awesome! However, as others are advising, please don't allow her to overdo it. 
You sound a tad less stressed than you did the other night. And, you certainly have your sense of humor in tact.  

My prayers and positive thoughts will continue for you and Peg. :grouphug:


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## Matilda's mommy

Steve I can tell your doing much better yourself, back to your old self  I keep saying this GOD HAS HIS HEALING HANDS ON PEG, and we are all praying. :hugging:


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## CeeCee's Mom

Ahhhh Steve, I can tell to that you are not as stressed as you have been. Tell Peg we love her and are praying for a speedy recovery!! Take care of that special woman~~~~Keep us informed when you can~~~ :heart: :heart: :heart:


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## bellapuppy

Prayers for Peg's continued recovery and your peace of mind. Puppy licks from Trixie and Maggie. Thanks for keeping us informed.
Janis


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve, Thanks so much for taking the time to update us... we all care about Peg and you, and appreciate your keeping us informed.
I think your special lady there is one determined gal and as long as she doesn't push herself too much will be recovered in record time! God bless you both!!!


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## miko's mommy

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 21 2009, 09:40 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=820708


> We spent the entire day at the hospital from 7 am this morning. Peg finally went into surgery at 1 PM and came out at 6 PM, which was longer than expected. However the doc said everything went very well. They took out half the pancreas and her gall bladder. The tissue testing they did today was inconclusive and we will not have a final word until next week. However the dr said everything looked good. Her lymph nodes also looked good. We went in to ICU about 8:00 or 8:30 and saw her a little. She had her breathing tube out and was able to talk, though she didn't really open her eyes. She is doing pretty well, considering the surgery she went through.[/B]


It sounds like they did a frozen section during the surgery and that wasn't conclusive (however, i can say from experience that these are very hard sometimes since the pathologist is just freezing a small piece of tissue) . I would follow up on the final pathology report (i am sure your surgeon will do that and will let you know). It sounds like she is recovering nicely!! My thoughts are with your family. :grouphug:


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## Dixie's Mama

You sound so much better Steve. I'm so glad Peg is doing well. It is good that she walks. That is what the doctors always told me when I was operated on. Of course they don't mean marathons. She'll do just fine. You both are still in my prayers.


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## Snowbody

Just wondering how Peg is doing? She's in my thoughts often and still praying for her health. :grouphug:


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## Deborah

Prayers coming your way. rayer:


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## Matilda's mommy

how's things going Steve? Still praying :hugging:


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## Max & Rocky

Today we got back at least partial biopsy results. Unfortunately, this was cancer and the aggressive kind at that and the over all prognosis for this.... At least what I run into in the literature really sucks. I admit my instinct is to get mad and start making a real scene about now.... But I understand that doesn't really change anything so I am trying to just deal with this new reality we have to deal with.

I do really wish though that junior members of the practice would not chose the 30 minute period during the entire day when there were NOT family members with Peg to give her the worst possible slant on the news... The surgeon, Dr Koep, http://www.arizonatransplant.com/aboutus/d...rence_koep.html came in a couple hours later and gave us a considerably better take on the news. From what I understand, he is the best surgeon for what he does in the western half of the country... though hopefully no one out there reading this will ever need his services. I can think of about a billion other things I'd rather be doing.


Contrary to what we first understood, several lymph nodes in the area were also taken out in addition to part of her stomach. We will get a hard copy of the report tomorrow and Caity's husband (who is a doctor) will go over it and interpet it for us.

Dr. Koep says that Peg is progressing wonderfully and is doing better than even he expected. No nausea at all and she is on pretty minimal pains meds, considering the amount of surgery done. She is now getting the feeding through a tube and is allowed hard candy and gum... not much of a diet yet but still very good, considering. He believes she will probably be discharged this weekend and able to eat at least broths and soup at that time.

His staff and some oncology specialists sit down once they have all the reports and will make some recommendations as far as oncologists to see. We live within shouting distance of Scottsdale Healthcare Shea and they have a major cancer center here and so there are a lot of great doctors in the immediate area. http://www.shc.org/content.asp?lnavid=66 This will be in our future, though I am not certain how long we have to wait for her to heal first.

Caity and Dotty did get family members to contribute something toward decorating her room. These pictures were taken several days ago with my phone and more of the hands have arrived since then, not to mention multiple flower arrangements .... so it is started to get a little crowded although the staff certainly are impressed.




























Gosh... I hate when I post something and then go back and read it and realize how scattered it sounds... I really did graduate from 5th grade... I was so tired last night (or the night before?), I drove home after they kicked me out without even turning my car lights on. Worse is I did not even notice it until I pulled into the garage... and even worse yet, I'm sitting there a little confused because it is so dark (over head light had burnt out) in addition to headlights were off and it takes a few seconds before I even understand what I did!!

It obviously was dark but .... but not really as there are lots and lots of street lights around... though I'm sure the other cars got a laugh from the idiot driving the Acura with no lights....


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## MalteseJane

Thanks for the update Steve. Be careful, it's not the time something happens to you, Peg needs you. But I should be the last one to say something to you about the headlights. I have forgotten to put them on many times before we had the Trailblazer. This is one thing I appreciate on it, the headlights coming on by themselves when it gets dark. You will have to wait that all the reports are in to really be able to evaluate how bad it is. Maybe it's not as bad as you think. She is doing better than expected, this is a good thing. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Thank you for the update, Steve. I agree with you that it's best to have a family member with the patient when receiving news regarding the outcome of the surgery,etc. Not 
only would it have been nice for Peg to have you or someone else there to help comfort her, but, also, it's difficult when one is sick to absorb every bit of information accurately.

As for Dr. Koep, he has a great background. So, I am sure he is a top surgeon in your part of the country. Felix (my hubby) graduated law school from the University of Arizona, where Dr. Keop also teaches. And, wow ... Dr. Koep received his medical degree, along with his surgical internship and residency, plus a transplant fellowship at John Hopkins! I would feel very confident having him as a surgeon. I am sure Peg will get the best possible treatments and care. It sounds very hopeful.

I love the hands! Thanks for sharing the pictures! What a creative and wonderful idea! Very nice!!!

Please try and get a little rest, Steve. You were so lucky that you arrived home safely without the car lights on. 

Many prayers continue for Peg and you. Sending love and hugs, too. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## tamizami

Sending you and Peg lots of hugs and prayers. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve, I'm sure you feel like you've been put thru the wringer! I ,too, once drove half way home without the headlights on during the time of my sister's illness. It was when an on-coming car flashed their lights that I 'came-to' and realized it. I think back and recall I didn't even realize navigating from point "A" to point "B".... it was like I was on auto-pilot.

I think Peg is in very good hands and it's very encouraging that the Dr is pleased with her progress! I ( along with a barrage of others here) will be continuing the prayers !


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## Scoobydoo

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 26 2009, 11:23 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=822724


> Today we got back at least partial biopsy results. Unfortunately, this was cancer and the aggressive kind at that and the over all prognosis for this.... At least what I run into in the literature really sucks. I admit my instinct is to get mad and start making a real scene about now.... But I understand that doesn't really change anything so I am trying to just deal with this new reality we have to deal with.
> 
> I do really wish though that junior members of the practice would not chose the 30 minute period during the entire day when there were NOT family members with Peg to give her the worst possible slant on the news... The surgeon, Dr Koep, http://www.arizonatransplant.com/aboutus/d...rence_koep.html came in a couple hours later and gave us a considerably better take on the news. From what I understand, he is the best surgeon for what he does in the western half of the country... though hopefully no one out there reading this will ever need his services. I can think of about a billion other things I'd rather be doing.
> 
> 
> Contrary to what we first understood, several lymph nodes in the area were also taken out in addition to part of her stomach. We will get a hard copy of the report tomorrow and Caity's husband (who is a doctor) will go over it and interpet it for us.
> 
> Dr. Koep says that Peg is progressing wonderfully and is doing better than even he expected. No nausea at all and she is on pretty minimal pains meds, considering the amount of surgery done. She is now getting the feeding through a tube and is allowed hard candy and gum... not much of a diet yet but still very good, considering. He believes she will probably be discharged this weekend and able to eat at least broths and soup at that time.
> 
> His staff and some oncology specialists sit down once they have all the reports and will make some recommendations as far as oncologists to see. We live within shouting distance of Scottsdale Healthcare Shea and they have a major cancer center here and so there are a lot of great doctors in the immediate area. http://www.shc.org/content.asp?lnavid=66 This will be in our future, though I am not certain how long we have to wait for her to heal first.
> 
> Caity and Dotty did get family members to contribute something toward decorating her room. These pictures were taken several days ago with my phone and more of the hands have arrived since then, not to mention multiple flower arrangements .... so it is started to get a little crowded although the staff certainly are impressed.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Gosh... I hate when I post something and then go back and read it and realize how scattered it sounds... I really did graduate from 5th grade... I was so tired last night (or the night before?), I drove home after they kicked me out without even turning my car lights on. Worse is I did not even notice it until I pulled into the garage... and even worse yet, I'm sitting there a little confused because it is so dark (over head light had burnt out) in addition to headlights were off and it takes a few seconds before I even understand what I did!!
> 
> It obviously was dark but .... but not really as there are lots and lots of street lights around... though I'm sure the other cars got a laugh from the idiot driving the Acura with no lights....[/B]


Gosh Steve I have just come in for a read and I am so sorry you and Peg are going through this, but please know that I am praying for a speedy recovery for Peg from her surgery and also that her follow up treatments are successful and she will be able to recover fully.
Take care of yourself too and please get some rest, you sound exhausted which is fully understandable considering what you are both going through.
I will keep you both in my toughts and prayers rayer: rayer: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## k/c mom

My thoughts are with you and Peg....

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## joe

Steve, thanks for the update, you and peg are in my thoughts and prayers rayer: i'm glad she will get released soon, i think sometimes getting out of the hospital is a very good medicine in itself, many :grouphug: 's for Peg


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## Lacie's Mom

Steve,

Thanks for taking the time to send us an update. I know that we've all been watching for one.

All I can say is that I'm sure that I know exactly how you feel -- like your whole world has been turned upside down. Everything was fine yesterday and then today you're learning that you spouse has something horribly wrong. It just doesn't seem to make sense. At least, that's how my 2009 has been. I mean, I left Phoenix at the beginning of January (after our holiday visit) and THOUGHT I would have hubby back home within 2 weeks (after the Barrett-Jackson auction) and now it's almost Sept and he's still in Phoenix.

And the hospitals are so draining for everyone. I'm not surprised to hear about your lights. I know some of the crazy things I've done (or forgotten to do) after leaving the hospital. I'm always just exhausted and I'm sure that you are too.

The other thing is the feeling of helplessness. You just want to do SOMETHING -- ANYTHING to help your loved one, and course, there's not much you can do but be there for comfort. But I never feel that's enough and want to be able to do something CONCRETE. Getting angry is normal, but doesn't really help anything (as you said in your post).

All I can say is "hang in there". Everything will change from day to day -- and all of a sudden everything you and Peg do together will seem so special. You need to look at the good times and thank God for the time you've already had and will have with each other.

Hugs to both of you. I'm sending lots of prayers for Peg.

BTW, if you need any help with the dogs, I will be there next weekend (labor day) and would be happy to do anything I can to help.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: rayer: rayer: rayer: 

P.S. I agree that the Cancer Institute at Scottsdale Shea is wonderful. I'm so glad that you're so close to it. It will be much easier for both of you.


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## pammy4501

Peg's overall good health and strength will go a long way towards her overall
recovery. She will tolerate treatment better, and have a much better sucess
rate! Her ability to quickly recover from this surgery is amazing! What an 
amazing lady. Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery!


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## Deborah

rayer: I am so very sorry about this diagnosis. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. Peg needs to slow down so she can properly heal and face the next steps in her treatment. Sometimes going too fast can cause harm. I know you have stairs in your house please ask the doctor if she should be climbing them for any reason? It may mean she has to stay upstairs or may need a bedroom in the main part of your home. You get some rest you will need it to take care of Peg. Make her humor you so she doesn't overdo. Neither one of you need a set back like that so she can start the new treatments. I know I am repeating myself but this is important! Her room is so cute. Thank you for keeping us all updated.


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## bellaratamaltese

*hugs you* Will keep your family in my thoughts. Thank you so much for keeping us updated. I'm soo sorry you are going through this


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## revakb2

Continued thoughts and prayers for you, Peg and the family. 2009 has been a bad year for a lot of us. Hopefully, the coming year will bring good health to all of us. Now I know I am old. When did I start saying "as long as you have your health". It was always the old people that talked about thier meds, their health problems, and their friends and family that had died. When did that become me. I'm so glad you and Peg have some help and support. Hopefully, Peg will be well again soon. It sounds like she has a great attitude, and that's half the battle.


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## revakb2

Continued thoughts and prayers for you, Peg and the family. 2009 has been a bad year for a lot of us. Hopefully, the coming year will bring good health to all of us. Now I know I am old. When did I start saying "as long as you have your health". It was always the old people that talked about thier meds, their health problems, and their friends and family that had died. When did that become me. I'm so glad you and Peg have some help and support. Hopefully, Peg will be well again soon. It sounds like she has a great attitude, and that's half the battle.


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## harrysmom

I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. rayer: rayer:


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## maggieh

Continued prayers for Peg's recovery and strength and peace for you both.

Maggie, Sweetness and Tessa


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## Snowbody

Thanks for keeping us in the loop. I know how frustrating the hospital tango is. They make all their rounds in the morning when only the patient's there. Used to drive me crazy with my mom. But in those days I used to grab her chart from the door or end of the bed and get the scoop. Now with HIPA that's impossible. However, I did often manage to sneak into the hospital early just to hear what was up. 
Peg's surgeon has outstanding credentials and that's what really counts. Never give up hope. There can be new advances every day. Focus on living life and your unwavering love for each other to get you through. 
I loved the hands on the wall and you know how many more hands, and paws you have here. Please take care of yourself -- we all need you, Peg and all of us, to be strong and funny and smart despite your I'm really smarter than a 5th grader drive in the dark. It's because you're so distracted...take the time to breath, literally. I have all these moments of "where was I" and "how did I get here" or "did I take that pill" but there's a name for it in my case...menopause.
Love, thoughts and prayers to you both :grouphug:


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## susie and sadie

Thank you so much for keeping us updated. I continue to lift you & Peg in prayer. rayer: rayer: rayer: 

God bless you both. :grouphug:


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## Max & Rocky

I know reading these reports has probably put you all through similar ups and downs that we (or I) have been going through and I apologize for that. It seems that every doctor we talk to gives us a slightly different view and I admit to being a little confused. We did get some good info today though in that this cancer has been categorized as stage 1 and except for the two suspicious lymph nodes, it would have been categorized stage 0 (which I did not even know there was such a thing)... so this is all really good. Also, Peg was quite energetic today and we walked all over the hospital and just sat downstairs in the lobby for a while ("cabin" fever I guess). This hospital does have some strange characters going in and out, we concluded. She should loose he two tubes she still has through her nose... probably one will go tomorrow and the other Saturday and that makes her very happy.

She was sleeping when I got there but also was doing some puzzles on a Nintendo DS and listening to some podcasts on her iPod and my iPod Touch.

We had asked the dr about the stairs in the house earlier this week and he said her legs and are fine and the stairs are no problem at all. We have a summer bed/sofa thing upstairs in her sewing room and we had assumed we would use that, if needed, but the dr said there was no reason to worry about it.


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## plenty pets 20

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 27 2009, 08:07 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=823121


> I know reading these reports has probably put you all through similar ups and downs that we (or I) have been going through and I apologize for that. It seems that every doctor we talk to gives us a slightly different view and I admit to being a little confused. We did get some good info today though in that this cancer has been categorized as stage 1 and except for the two suspicious lymph nodes, it would have been categorized stage 0 (which I did not even know there was such a thing)... so this is all really good. Also, Peg was quite energetic today and we walked all over the hospital and just sat downstairs in the lobby for a while ("cabin" fever I guess). This hospital does have some strange characters going in and out, we concluded. She should loose he two tubes she still has through her nose... probably one will go tomorrow and the other Saturday and that makes her very happy.
> 
> She was sleeping when I got there but also was doing some puzzles on a Nintendo DS and listening to some podcasts on her iPod and my iPod Touch.
> 
> We had asked the dr about the stairs in the house earlier this week and he said her legs and are fine and the stairs are no problem at all. We have a summer bed/sofa thing upstairs in her sewing room and we had assumed we would use that, if needed, but the dr said there was no reason to worry about it.[/B]



Sounds like great news Steve and hope that it continues to just get better and better. How can it not with everyone praying for Peg.


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## Snowbody

Stage one is great news! :sLo_grouphug3: That's a definite reason for optimism.


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## Lacie's Mom

QUOTE (Snowbody @ Aug 27 2009, 09:17 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=823127


> Stage one is great news! :sLo_grouphug3: That's a definite reason for optimism.[/B]


Stage one is definitely very good. Means it was caught very early. Most Stage One cancer patients have a very high survival rate for many, many, many years. :chili:


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## MalteseJane

Stage one is great news considering. And that they could do surgery is good too. In my cousins' case, when the symptoms appeared it was already too late and it was inoperable due to the location of the tumor. Early detection plays a huge role in fighting this and this is in favor of Peg.


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## Matilda's mommy

Thank you Lord, he has his healing arms around her. Prayer is a wonderful thing, God is always listening


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## k/c mom

If it has to be cancer, at least it is Stage One. Thinking of you and Peg and hoping for the very best. :grouphug:


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## Maisie and Me

Great news so far and sooo happy she is feelig better. We'll keep on praying!!!!!!!!!!


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## Dixie's Mama

Thanks for your updates Steve. The most recent update sounds much more optimistic. I'm so glad Peg is feeling better. I hope she is home by now and being doted on. Don't forget to take care of yourself Steve. The caregiver has a hard roll to play and is often overlooked. We all love you here and you can come to us to vent anytime. Hang in there. I'll keep you both in my prayers. :grouphug:


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## Max & Rocky

Not a lot of news to report today. Had a slight setback in that she had an upset tummy so the stomach drainage tube was not removed until today. She still has the feeding tube in which goes into the intestines and I guess she will have that for a while as once that thing comes out, it doesn't go back in except in surgery. The current thought is she will be coming home Tuesday.

Peg has a friend of 25 years plus whom she knew back years ago when she lived in the Palmyra Wi area and the good thing is Donna is a registered nurse (though she is now working in management and not nursing) and she is flying in tomorrow evening to stay with Peg over the next week. This will allow me to go back to work, for the most part the rest of this next week, which is a good thing. She still has not had any actual food other than whatever it is they give her through a feeding tube. We are hoping that she will be able to handle at least jello tomorrow and yogurt on Tuesday. 

I can't believe how tired I feel and all I did today was mow the yard this morning before it got hot and then spent the rest of the day at the hospital. If I ever had to do any serious work, I don't know what I'd do. At least I drove home tonight with my lights on...


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## MalteseJane

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: see you are doing better, you didn't forget the lights :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## CeeCee's Mom

Try to get some rest Steve........it is very stressful for you because of what Peg has gone through. It will be so nice to have her home and you won't have to go to the hospital. So good that Peg's friend, who is a nurse will be there for a week!!! So glad to hear the lights were on when you drove home tonight!!!! Yea!!!!!


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## KAG

You take care, Steve. You're doing great! One day at a time...
xoxoxoxoxoo


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve, 
I'm sure you are exhausted.... I've always said emotional exhaustion is so much more trying on ones body than a hard days physical activity. Unfortunately when worrying about a loved one.... the emotional exhaustion is all but impossible to avoid.
I never used to be able to understand how I could work 'like a man' outside and yes, be tired but a 'good tired' but spending day after day at a hospital with a loved one would wipe me out and I did nothing.... but again it's that emotional exhaustion.
I pray you can focus on the fact that it sounds like things are actually going well for Peg in spite of the ups and downs of 'news' on her situation...... the botttom line is that it sounds like it is going to be 'up' for her in the long run and that's what counts.
I think once she gets home and you can get somewhat of a 'normal routine' back it will be helpful to you both.... and you can have peace of mind that she has her knowledgeble friend there to watch over her.


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## miko's mommy

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Aug 26 2009, 09:23 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=822724


> Today we got back at least partial biopsy results. Unfortunately, this was cancer and the aggressive kind at that and the over all prognosis for this.... At least what I run into in the literature really sucks. I admit my instinct is to get mad and start making a real scene about now.... But I understand that doesn't really change anything so I am trying to just deal with this new reality we have to deal with.
> 
> I do really wish though that junior members of the practice would not chose the 30 minute period during the entire day when there were NOT family members with Peg to give her the worst possible slant on the news... The surgeon, Dr Koep, http://www.arizonatransplant.com/aboutus/d...rence_koep.html came in a couple hours later and gave us a considerably better take on the news. From what I understand, he is the best surgeon for what he does in the western half of the country... though hopefully no one out there reading this will ever need his services. I can think of about a billion other things I'd rather be doing.
> 
> 
> Contrary to what we first understood, several lymph nodes in the area were also taken out in addition to part of her stomach. We will get a hard copy of the report tomorrow and Caity's husband (who is a doctor) will go over it and interpet it for us.
> 
> Dr. Koep says that Peg is progressing wonderfully and is doing better than even he expected. No nausea at all and she is on pretty minimal pains meds, considering the amount of surgery done. She is now getting the feeding through a tube and is allowed hard candy and gum... not much of a diet yet but still very good, considering. He believes she will probably be discharged this weekend and able to eat at least broths and soup at that time.
> 
> His staff and some oncology specialists sit down once they have all the reports and will make some recommendations as far as oncologists to see. We live within shouting distance of Scottsdale Healthcare Shea and they have a major cancer center here and so there are a lot of great doctors in the immediate area. http://www.shc.org/content.asp?lnavid=66 This will be in our future, though I am not certain how long we have to wait for her to heal first.
> 
> Caity and Dotty did get family members to contribute something toward decorating her room. These pictures were taken several days ago with my phone and more of the hands have arrived since then, not to mention multiple flower arrangements .... so it is started to get a little crowded although the staff certainly are impressed.
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> Gosh... I hate when I post something and then go back and read it and realize how scattered it sounds... I really did graduate from 5th grade... I was so tired last night (or the night before?), I drove home after they kicked me out without even turning my car lights on. Worse is I did not even notice it until I pulled into the garage... and even worse yet, I'm sitting there a little confused because it is so dark (over head light had burnt out) in addition to headlights were off and it takes a few seconds before I even understand what I did!!
> 
> It obviously was dark but .... but not really as there are lots and lots of street lights around... though I'm sure the other cars got a laugh from the idiot driving the Acura with no lights....[/B]


My thoughts are with you. :grouphug: I can't even imagine to begin how difficult this must be for you and your family.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Things sound so positive, Steve. I think it's wonderful that Peg's friend, Donna, will be there to help for a week. What a blessing when we have friends like Peg has. I would hope with Donna being there to help, and her being a nurse, can help give you some much needed rest in-between. I know you are going back to work ... but, you can hopefully relax a tad, knowing that Peg's friend, Donna, will be there taking good care of her.

Your last sentence made me smile. I am so glad you drove home with the lights on this time.  

Continued prayers for both Peg and you. Lots of hugs, too. :grouphug:


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## totallytotontuffy

Sometimes I think that the patient copes better than loved ones. The stress and helplessness of seeing someone you love in poor health takes it's toll. And there is something about hospitals that I find totally exhausting (though I guess the sentence above is probably the reason why.) I'm glad Peg's friend is coming to visit. I think it will be great for both of you. Hugs to you and Peg.


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## Snowbody

I agree with all the posts. Things are definitely looking up knowing that Peg will be home. You and she will feel so much better about that and Donna will be a godsend to calm the medical worries of surgical follow-up. I hope you know how awesome you've been through this and even though you're dog tired (couldn't resist) work will help you take your mind off things and give you a break. And you can be with Peg whenever you want without all those doctor's rounds, hospital rules and bad lighting. One day at a time, love and humor will get both of you through this. And of course all of our prayers.


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## Deborah

Well I guess your bad news has at least changed somewhat into good news. With the incision that you described I am surprised that she will be climbing stairs. I am not the doctor. I still hope she will take things slow.
I had extensive oral surgery this summer so was not able to eat solid food. Yoplait Whips frozen are so delicious. I loved the Chocolate mousse style frozen.
I am not a dessert person but these are delicious!

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. rayer: 
Thank you so much for taking the time to keep us updated.


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## mom2bijou

It is emotionally draining watching our loved ones go thru this. I remember with my Dad...he stayed so positive during his cancer treatment. The last time I saw him (2 days before he passed) he was reading the newspaper and smiling. As someone else mentioned, patients often can cope better than the family members. It seems like it is so much easier for the patients to smile then it is for us. But do try to stay positive. I know, I know....easier said than done. 

Thank goodness it is Stage 1 and the cancer was caught early. Not to say it isn't serious. Any stage is serious, but this is so much better than catching Peg's cancer in a later stage. Going back to work and staying busy will be good for you and having Peg's friend around will be such a big help. Continued prayers for you and Peg and hugs all around. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## lillykins

QUOTE (TotallyTotoNTuffy @ Aug 31 2009, 10:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=824695


> The stress and helplessness of seeing someone you love in poor health takes its toll.[/B]


QUOTE (mom2Bijou @ Sep 1 2009, 08:18 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=824809


> It is emotionally draining watching our loved ones go thru this. As someone else mentioned, patients often can cope better than the family members.[/B]


There are many studies on this; it is VITAL for the caregiver to take care of him/herself.
simple Google "Case studies of Caregiver Stress" or "health of the caregiver of a patient"
You will realize that caring for a loved one can be much harder on the caregiver than on the patient. Don't discount this fact.

So please, Steve, accept our many prayers for Peg, and many prayers for YOU.


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## Max & Rocky

QUOTE (Lillykins @ Sep 2 2009, 06:50 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=825082


> QUOTE (TotallyTotoNTuffy @ Aug 31 2009, 10:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=824695





> The stress and helplessness of seeing someone you love in poor health takes its toll.[/B]


QUOTE (mom2Bijou @ Sep 1 2009, 08:18 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=824809


> It is emotionally draining watching our loved ones go thru this. As someone else mentioned, patients often can cope better than the family members.[/B]


There are many studies on this; it is VITAL for the caregiver to take care of him/herself.
simple Google "Case studies of Caregiver Stress" or "health of the caregiver of a patient"
You will realize that caring for a loved one can be much harder on the caregiver than on the patient. Don't discount this fact.

So please, Steve, accept our many prayers for Peg, and many prayers for YOU.
[/B][/QUOTE]


I understand Becky and thanks to you have everyone else here for all your prayers.

Peg has had a good last couple days after sort of a rough weekend. For some reason, the hospital started sending nurses home Saturday and Sunday and the care in the pod where Peg is seemed to suffer as a result. Anyway, we 
think the issues were actually caused by unmanaged pain and just over all apprehension about all of this...

Anyway... she ate small amounts of normal food yesterday and had no issues as far as keeping it all down, so guess what??!!??


SHE GETS TO COME HOME TODAY!! :chili: :chili: :chili: :chili: (after 12 days in the hospital)


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## Matilda's mommy

Steve this is something to celebrate for sure, God has his arms around Peg and will continue. Now Steve I worry about you, your going to need all the rest you can get. I do hope you will have help at home.


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## Snowbody

QUOTE (Max & Rocky @ Sep 2 2009, 10:02 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=825084


> QUOTE (Lillykins @ Sep 2 2009, 06:50 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=825082





> QUOTE (TotallyTotoNTuffy @ Aug 31 2009, 10:00 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=824695





> The stress and helplessness of seeing someone you love in poor health takes its toll.[/B]


QUOTE (mom2Bijou @ Sep 1 2009, 08:18 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=824809


> It is emotionally draining watching our loved ones go thru this. As someone else mentioned, patients often can cope better than the family members.[/B]


There are many studies on this; it is VITAL for the caregiver to take care of him/herself.
simple Google "Case studies of Caregiver Stress" or "health of the caregiver of a patient"
You will realize that caring for a loved one can be much harder on the caregiver than on the patient. Don't discount this fact.

So please, Steve, accept our many prayers for Peg, and many prayers for YOU.
[/B][/QUOTE]


I understand Becky and thanks to you have everyone else here for all your prayers.

Peg has had a good last couple days after sort of a rough weekend. For some reason, the hospital started sending nurses home Saturday and Sunday and the care in the pod where Peg is seemed to suffer as a result. Anyway, we 
think the issues were actually caused by unmanaged pain and just over all apprehension about all of this...

Anyway... she ate small amounts of normal food yesterday and had no issues as far as keeping it all down, so guess what??!!??


SHE GETS TO COME HOME TODAY!! :chili: :chili: :chili: :chili: (after 12 days in the hospital)
[/B][/QUOTE]
Now that's REALLY good news :aktion033: As Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz said,"There's no place like home."


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## MalteseJane

Yes, there is no place like home. And lets face it, hospital food is not something that gives you an appetite. Glad she is coming home. :chili: That's good for you too. No more trips to the hospital.


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## casa verde maltese

WOW Steve, I am so sorry I am just getting back to SM after a long absence. 
I am sending Peg and you my prayers. I am so glad things have gone from the scary unknown to a more manageable and less (or so it sounds) scary unknown (not that any type of cancer isn't scary at any level).

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Katkoota

I am happy to read that Peg is coming home 

:grouphug: :grouphug:


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## revakb2

What good news. I hope Peg is at home and comfy in her own home now.


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## Bonnie's Mommie

This is a great read, Steve. I'm so glad Peg is coming home today. I hope that you both sleep well tonight, and that each coming day finds her better and better. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Max & Rocky

She is home now. :aktion033: 


So I will not mention the downer I am having trying to get some of these prescriptions filled...


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## CrystalAndZoe

Aw Steve, I know in some ways it must be overwhelming. But how wonderful Peg is home!! I pray you both have a wonderful and restful night and continued improvement with each new day. :grouphug:


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## maggieh

Steve - great news that Peg's home. Prayers continuing to come your way.


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## susie and sadie

That is wonderful she was able to come home! :aktion033: 

Continuing the prayers for you both. rayer: :grouphug: rayer:


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## bonniesmom

I'm so glad Peg is home! I haven't been posting much lately for various reasons, but my thoughts are, and have been, with you and it's great to
hear a bit of good news. Sending good thoughts for continued improvement. :grouphug:


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## Matilda's mommy

Steve I'm so glad Peg's home. I hope your both getting rest


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## Deborah

So glad Peg is home!


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## Starsmom

It's wonderful Peg is home! :chili: :chili: :clap: :clap: Take care of yourself Steve, as you are for Peg - get some overdue needed rest.


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## Max & Rocky

I just wanted to update everyone. Peg is continuing to do very well... amazingly well for having been in the hospital for 13 days. Our neighbors came over a few days ago to see how she was doing and they were shocked that she was all dressed normally and answered the door appearing normal to them.

She is on minimal pain meds now gets by much of the time without any of the strong stuff at all though if she does too much, she usually has to "pay" for it. She has actually driven to an appointment and the grocery store on her own. Probably within a week, the pain will be low enough that none of the strong stuff will be needed at all. I should add that she doesn't drive on narcotics... She is taking a pretty small amounts now and in the last few days, only in the evening.

The surgeon has released her totally. Says he never wants to see her again!! (he was teasing her but he meant it)

Until a week or so ago, all of her food had to be run through a blender until it was mush. She is slowly ramping that up... though she is still eating just stuff that digests very easily. 

We had a session today at the chemo place today to just let us know the routine. The RN today said the stuff they will have her on causes some hair thinning, but that is about all. I could hear her relief at that!! LOL!! She will have one chemo session per week for 7 weeks, then a week off. She will then get 3 courses of the same drug, 3 weeks on and 1 week off. There will be radiation, which is an 5 day per week deal in the middle of this sometime.

So all in all, I think we are doing well... although the Patrick Swayze news was sort of a kick in the head. His case was Stage 4 and inoperable when discovered from what I understand. Peg's was Stage 1 or just barely 2 and was removed... so obviously we expect a much better outcome. The doctors basically tell us she was very lucky to have had any noticeable symptoms when she did. Typically people don't know they have a problem until it is too late to do much of anything and that makes the 5 year survival statistics appear terrible. But we are assured that in her case, those statistics really mean nothing as her case just wasn't the usual (thank God).

The one downer she has had is that since the chemo / radiation course is so long, she almost certainly will miss the entire year from work. However, my income is enough that isn't a big issue for us.... so that is good.


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## k/c mom

I'm really glad to hear this good report!! :Sunny Smile:


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## harrysmom

Very glad to hear such a positive report. I'll keep you both in my thoughts.
Thanks for keeping us updated.

Debbie


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## CeeCee's Mom

I am also so glad to hear Peg's report!!! Just get her through chemo and she can go back to work next year!!!! Whooo Hoooo!!!!


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## Maidto2Maltese

Steve it's so wonderful to see such a great update on Peg! That's some amazing lady you have there!

I believe it's by the Grace of God this was discovered so early and by that same Grace Peg is going to do well!!


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## casa verde maltese

Steve, Thanks for the update. I am so happy that things are going well and everything is looking good. Hugs to you and Peg.


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## Bonnie's Mommie

That's a great report, Steve!! My best to Peg. :wub: :wub:


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## MalteseJane

When I heard the news about Patrick Swayze immediately I thought about Peg. This is a great report Steve and since it could be taken care off early on at least she has a chance. She is lucky also that they could operate. Depending where the tumor is placed, they can't. My cousin's was not operable.


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## bonniesmom

That's a very encouraging report, Steve! All the best to you both. :thmbup:


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## angel's mom

Thanks for the update, Steve. You and Peg will remain in my prayers. I'm so glad Peg is progressing as well as she is.


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## HaleysMom

Thank you for the update...You are both in my thoughts and prayers!!!


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## Deborah

Continued thoughts and prayers coming your way. rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## theboyz

Steve, we are so glad Peg is home a doing well. Did you tell the doctors that she has a huge "dog family" praying for both of you! 
Keep up the good reports and you take a minute to take a breath and relax.


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