# Miss Bow ( Button)



## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Today we took Matilda in for her blood work and for the vet here to check out Miss Bow, my husband and I look at this differently, I take care of Miss Bow and know her much better then he does, she is so weak, she is only eating 1 tablespoon of her puree food I make for her 4 times a day, she does drink water and still will shuffle around but falls over easily. She is up 4 or 5 times a night shaking. I love her so much and hate to see her in pain and so unsettled. I honestly feel it iS time to help Miss Bow go to the bridge. 
My husband doesn't see it that way, he feels she is ok, he keeps saying she's not in pain and has told me he feels like I want to kill Miss Bow, so you can see how hard this morning was
We agreed the vet would check her out and decide what we should do, but when we got to the vets my husband held Miss Bow like a teddy bear, he wouldn't hear of her going to the bridge. The vet was shocked when she first saw Miss Bow, she thought we had brought her in to be put down but after her seeing how my husband is acting she said she would check her out, she said Miss Bow has lost a pound, she now weighs 7lbs, when we first got her she weighed 11 lbs, before we left for AZ a month ago our vet at home weighed her and said she weighed 8lbs, the vet here said Miss Bow is in a great deal of pain and put her on pain meds, we pick them up tomorrow. I just don't understand all this, my heart is breaking. My Miss Bow is so tired, she is such a precious baby, she doesn't deserve all this.
I ask you to pray for her, I want God's will, not my husbands or mine, even though I truly feel in my heart I'm right.
Miss Bow has another vet appointment in a month, it's just so hard watching her waste away:smcry:


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## TLR (Nov 13, 2011)

Oh Paula, this is such a hard decision for both of you. I will pray for Gods will and that the pain meds will give Miss Bow some comfort.


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## pammy4501 (Aug 8, 2007)

Ahh Paula, how hard this must be on all of you. Your hubby just isn't ready to part with her. Hopefully the pain meds will help her. I know that when Lola was so sick, I really was worried that I wouldn't recognize when it was time to let her go. I used to hope she would pass in her sleep so I wouldn't have to make the decision. But when the time came, i knew it was time to let go. Your husband just isn't there yet. so I guess Miss Bow still has a reason to be here. Hug her and love her and keep her as comfortable as you can. You are all in my thoughts. Hugs to you all.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Oh Paula, I am so sorry. I have to admit that I felt like this with my father, my aunt and my uncle, but we did not have the option to let them go...we had morphine and Xanax. I remember that when I first joined the forum Miss Bow was ill. 

My Ru is weak and fragile, but still is happy to gobble up her meals. I always hope that she will go quietly in her sleep, because I never want to have to make that awful decision. 

I know that you have a deep and abiding trust in God and will find peace in leaving her care to him.


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## mdbflorida (Feb 28, 2013)

Paula, I am so sorry to hear about Miss Bow. It is always a hard decision to make. Sometimes it takes us a little longer to make. One of my pups, I tried three times, and each time turned around and went home because I just couldn't do it. In the end, I told myself that my little one was in pain and I had to do for her instead of me. Gosh, now I am crying thinking about it. Hugs to you and your husband.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Paula - I'm so sorry. This is very hard on you and I really believe hard on Miss Bow. She's been in decline for a while now and it has to have taken a toll. That's a huge weight loss. I hope that the meds will help and free her from her pain, but if they don't or cause other side effects, I pray that your husband understands that she's suffering and the only ones who can ease that pain are her parents or God. It's the biggest sacrifice and most unselfish act one can choose for their beloved pet and I'm hoping your DH can see it that way. It has to be all about what's best for Ms Bow. So sorry that you're going through this. I know your strong faith will see you through it. :grouphug:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Paula darling ... my heart goes out to you and Lorin. 

My prayer is that when the moment is right, Miss Bow will pass into Heaven, peacefully in her sleep, while there with you, Lorin, and her sister, Matilda.


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Paula, I'm so sorry for you all that you are going through this. It sounds like you and Miss Bow know it's time but DH isn't ready just quite yet. I know when I had to make the decision for my Samantha, it was the hardest decision of my life but it was the right decision - she was in incredible pain, had lived a long life, and her kidneys were failing. 

I hope that the pain meds can help Miss Bow be more comfortable.

I ran across this several years ago, and know it's true - the most loving thing that we can do for our beloved fluffs is recognize when it's time to help them with comfort and peace.

_If it should be that I grow weak 
And pain should keep me from my sleep, 
Then you must do what must be done, 
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test. 

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears. 
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go. 

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me, 
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see 
The kindness that you did for me. 
Although my tail its last has waved, 
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you 
Who had this painful thing to do. 
We've been so close, we two, these years; 
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

_


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

I totally understand your frustration. My Rocco would look at me and I swear he was asking me to let him go. When the quality of life is gone, and they are in pain it is so heartbreaking. Hugs and Prayers in this difficult time.


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## aprilb (Jul 9, 2010)

Oh, Paula..I'm sorry for this difficult time you and Lorin are going through...it's so hard, I know...I am glad Miss Bow has the pain meds..hopefully they will keep her comfortable...may our Lord bring you strength...:grouphug:


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

You are on my heart dear Paula---asking God for mercy for you whatever you days bring. . . also for peace when you feel divided. Some things are just plain harder than others. Sending you my love also.


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## cyndrae (Aug 30, 2009)

This is such a difficult decision but I agree it sounds like it is time.
My heart is breaking for you and your husband. I know my husband is such an emotional person when we had to say goodbye years ago with our German Shepherd he cried for days.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Oh my gosh Paula...my heart is aching for you, my friend. You're making a selfless decision thinking only of sweet Miss Bow...that's hard enough to do, but to be met with resistance!!! :smilie_tischkante: ....just terrible!!! 

Ok, why don't you let your husband care for her...let him see for himself what she goes through each day, and make him get up with her in the middle of the night to comfort her as she shakes in pain. oh, and let him make her food and hand feed her. :angry:


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## mrsmediauph (Feb 19, 2013)

The A Team said:


> Oh my gosh Paula...my heart is aching for you, my friend. You're making a selfless decision thinking only of sweet Miss Bow...that's hard enough to do, but to be met with resistance!!! :smilie_tischkante: ....just terrible!!!
> 
> Ok, why don't you let your husband care for her...let him see for himself what she goes through each day, and make him get up with her in the middle of the night to comfort her as she shakes in pain. oh, and let him make her food and hand feed her. :angry:


:goodpost:


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Sweet Paula,

I know from my mother's illness and her wasting away how difficult it must be for you to watch. The anorexia that comes with advanced age is one of the most difficult things one confronts. As sad as this time is for you, please remember the incredible life that Miss Bows has had and the overwhelming joy and happiness she has brought you, and that you have brought her. Her life has been a full one.

End of life decisions are the toughest. Your faith with guide you and your husband in making the best decision. You will be in my thoughts as the three of you continue this very difficult journey.

Other than reminding you of the great life that Ms Bows has lived, the best comfort I can give you is that although many of us of different faiths, most of us believe that our journey allow us to pass from this world and continue in the next. Physical existence is only a segment of the time that we share together, there is more adventures and happiness for us as we reunite in the next life.

I wish all three of you peace. Your hearts and your faith will guide you.

Wishing you the best.


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## Polly's mom (Apr 29, 2013)

Dear Paula, you have been in my prayers since you posted the picture of your husband sleeping and holding Miss Bow. My best friend told me her Mother's strategy with her dad was hit and run. Say it and let them go to their man cave to sort their emotions. We are stronger then they are. For centuries women have dealt with the life and death of family, friends and members of their tribe. Women dying in child birth, death of our new born infants, our children, our mothers and fathers. Try to pull out the man feeling of being challenged to a win or lose situation. Pat's suggestion to give him more accountability for seeing her pain is excellent. Also perhaps you could take a quiet time with the three of you (with 2 stiff drinks) and read Maggie's poem. You have all the love and prayers of the wonderful SM family.


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

maggieh said:


> Paula, I'm so sorry for you all that you are going through this. It sounds like you and Miss Bow know it's time but DH isn't ready just quite yet. I know when I had to make the decision for my Samantha, it was the hardest decision of my life but it was the right decision - she was in incredible pain, had lived a long life, and her kidneys were failing.
> 
> I hope that the pain meds can help Miss Bow be more comfortable.
> 
> ...


 :smcry::smcry::smcry:Maggie that was beautiful and such a gentle way to understand how we can help our babies cross over.

Paula I am so sad for you. You and your husband have been the most loving parents to Miss Bow. These last years she's had with your family have been so comforting for her. It's so hard to let go. I feel so bad for you husband b/c I know he's breaking down inside knowing she will soon need to cross to the Bridge. I pray he finds the strength to help put her suffering to it's final rest and let her be at peace. Maybe share Maggie's poem with him. Maybe that will help him see that it's a selfless act and a last gift of kindness that we can give our babies. Some just aren't strong enough to drift away on their own. They need us to help them and that's ok. 

Sending you so much love at this difficult time Paula. Love to you always!!! And please give Miss Bow a gentle kiss from me. Do not forget.


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## SammieMom (Nov 13, 2010)

Paula. I'm thinking of you and Miss Bow this morning. Sending you a :grouphug:
Kandis


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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

I am so sorry. I know you will do the right thing for all.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

wkomorow said:


> Sweet Paula,
> 
> I know from my mother's illness and her wasting away how difficult it must be for you to watch. The anorexia that comes with advanced age is one of the most difficult things one confronts. As sad as this time is for you, please remember the incredible life that Miss Bows has had and the overwhelming joy and happiness she has brought you, and that you have brought her. Her life has been a full one.
> 
> ...


:goodpost: and Maggie's poem is just so beautiful.


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## ladodd (Jan 8, 2012)

Paula, I send you thoughts and prayers for comfort. Hopefully, the pain meds will bring your sweet girl some relief and allow the time that your dh needs to come to terms with the situation. It's a sad difficult thing to have to do, but you love her enough to allow her to go play with our other angels at the bridge.


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

I am sorry about Miss Bow..................... Hugs to you Paula and extra hugs and more hugs to Miss Bow!


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## elly (Sep 11, 2006)

Paula I am so sorry about Miss Bow. It is such a hard decision. The best advice given to me when Ellie was so sick was "it is better to be a month early than a day late". Good thoughts and prayers for you, your husband and Miss Bow.


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## SammieMom (Nov 13, 2010)

Maggie-that beautiful poem might be be a comfort to others "alone as a sticky" in the memorial forum. :wub:


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## chichi (Apr 12, 2007)

Oh dear Paula, I am so sorry to hear this about Miss Bow. I know it would be easier if it happened in her sleep, but it doesn't always go that way. Stay strong for her and I hope the meds help her pain.:grouphug::grouphug:


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## puppydoll (Jul 11, 2013)

Paula, I understand your pain of taking care of a very sick pup. I agree with you but maybe the meds will help her to feel better. I will pray for God's will also for your little Miss Bow. She has such a precious name and is so pretty. Just love her every chance you get. May God hold you as you go through this….He cares for you and He knows every hurt in your heart Ps 34:18.


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## pippersmom (May 21, 2012)

I am so sorry about Miss Bow. We love our fluffs for years and then the day comes when we have to make the heartbreaking decision on when its time to let them go. Its just not fair. 2 years ago next month, I had to say goodbye to my 13 year old dog and 18 year old cat both on the same day. I still have a hard time thinking about it.


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## Bailey&Me (Mar 8, 2010)

I'm so sorry, Paula. I can understand the agony you and your DH are going through. This is such a difficult decision. I was devastated when I found out my 12 year old cat had cancer that could not be treated and our only option was to give him palliative care and watch for the day that it would be "his time". I agonized over it and worried that I was making the wrong decision by not helping him "cross over the bridge" as soon as I found out. But we were just not ready to let him go. My father was much like your DH - he just wasn't ready to let Isaiah go and would refuse to even talk about it. I shed a lot of tears over those weeks/months and stressed about it. Then one day it became clear as day to all of us that it was time - somehow we were all strong and were able to get through it without a shadow of a doubt that we were doing the right thing. At that moment, helping Isaiah find peace and an end to his suffering became the most important thing in the world, and our own emotions became secondary. 

You and your DH know and love Miss Bow more than anyone in the world. When the time is absolutely right for all of you, you will just know. 

Sending hugs and prayers over your way in this very difficult time, Paula!


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## TLR (Nov 13, 2011)

Paula, just want you to know I'm thinking of you and praying for clarity.


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## CrystalAndZoe (Jul 11, 2006)

My heart hurts for you Paula. What a hard and awful position to be in. And God bless your dh. You have to love his kind and sensitive heart. Whoever said that women were the weaker sex surely did not know what they were talking about. 

Heavenly Father, I come to you now with a heavy heart for my dear friend Paula. You know her kind and sensitive heart Lord. You created her. As You did her husband. Right now Lord they are both hurting because their precious Buttons and Bows is suffering. Lord help them know what to do. I ask that You open the eyes and hearts of all involved in this decision so that the decision will be made clear and that it will be a decision made in unison. And I ask Lord, that You will move quickly in this so that Miss Bow does not needlessly suffer. And I ask Father, that if it is her time, that You will take compassion on her, Paula and Paula's husband and take Miss Bow gently as she sleeps. I pray for your comforting arms to wrap around Paula and her husband and that Your perfect peace fill them. I ask these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

(Maggie, your poem is the most perfect thing I've ever read for these awful and difficult times. Thank you.)


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

Paula, I read your post last night and just didn't know what to say so didn't say anything - I'm sorry. I am keeping you all in my prayers and saying an extra prayer for your hubby. Hugs

Linda


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

First I want to thank all of you for your love, yesterday I was so upset and angry at my husband, I couldn't believe he would go as far as to take Miss Bow to the vets office, but today I am feeling different about all this, and I know it's because of your prayers, God has changed my heart. I am stronger when it comes to letting go, I think it's because I believe in a place God has set aside for our loved animal babies, I serve a mighty God and I know he loves me and he wants me to be happy, he knows how much I love my precious animal babies and because of his great love for each of us he has that special place where our babies are waiting for us. Child like faith maybe, but I believe it with all my heart.
My husband got up with Miss Bow in the night, when I woke this morning I walked into our livingroom in the rv, he was holding Miss Bow and trying to feed her a mashed bananna. Bless his heart. He is trying
It warmed my heart watching him, later we talked abit and he shared with me he just doesn't want to be there when she takes her last breath down here, so when he is able to let go I will be the one taking my Miss Bow in to the vets unless God takes her in her sleep, when that time comes I will be asking for your prayers to help me to be strong, one day each of us here will be where I am today, we will each search our hearts and come to the decission and we will need one another to help us get through. 
I need you all, you build me up, you help me to see things with new eyes, and I can rest knowing I am being prayed for, not one of you judged me, thank you. I love you. I will keep you updated on my precious miss bow


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Paula -- reading this just broke my heart. This is a decision that none of us ever want to make, but I know that the Lord is there to support you and show you the way. I'm praying that Miss Bow will go peacefully in her sleep -- but only our Heavenly Father knows when it will be time and He will take matter into His hands -- either to take Miss Bow peacefully or to give you and your husband the strength to send her to The Bridge.

Keeping you in my prayers. You know I love you, Lady.


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## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

"one day each of us here will be where i am today, we will each search our hearts and come to the decission and we will need one another to help us get through."

Paula, I've often thought of the day when so many of us who joined SM around the same time would face what you are facing as our fluffs age, but we would help each other go through it out the other side. I know I think of what I would do since mine like so many others here have fluffs so close in age and I know I will depend on my SM family when the time comes. 

I will continue to pray that God will hold you and hubby up, give you the peace that passes all understanding and though you may bend, you will NOT break. I wish I could give you a "real" hug - but I am sending you a hug from the heart. 

I know Miss Bow will be just fine no matter what happens - she has been special in God's eyes since before she was formed. I believe they are all angels on earth from birth. A true gift from God. Hugs

Linda


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Maggie, I started to read the poem, but just couldn't finish it yet. I will one day soon, I love you dear friend


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Paula - know that you, Miss Bow and Lorin are in our thoughts and prayers. We're here for strength and comfort. :grouphug:


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

Oh I am so sorry you are facing this tough decision. You have given Miss Bow such a wonderful life and I know you and your hubby will make the decision you need to when the time is right. *hugs*


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## .13124 (Jun 1, 2012)

I'm so sorry you're going trough this  it is so heartbreaking just reading this post, I am at loss of words. I sincerely pray for Miss Bow, and for you and your husband whom are in heartache. This has really brought me to tears, especially continuing to read the responses here.


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## Katkoota (Feb 18, 2006)

(((hugs)))


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Dear Paula.... I can somewhat relate because I experienced the same thing with my hubby and Missy. Though Missy was supposed to 'mine'... she in no time became "Daddy's girl". 
I think because she had so many 'close-calls' but got thru them... he felt (when at the end there truly was nothing more we could do to 'fix") she'd pull thru once again or simply go in her sleep. I could see it was 'time'... but he couldn't.... or rather I believe didn't want to.
Then I really had a heart to heart... and had to point out the various things that indicated she was in trouble. He finally agreed but did say he couldn't go in with her. I told him that was OK. 

So, please know I'll be praying for you, your hubby and of course little Miss Bow as you face this difficult time.


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Praying for strength and guidance for you and your husband.


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

Paula...I am just reading this...I am so very sorry that Miss Bow is at such a fragile state and you have to make such a tough decision. Whatever it may be...I hope you and your DH will be at peace knowing it was the right thing to do.
My parents and I had the same experience a few yrs back. Dad thought it was best to be put to sleep & my mom and I were not sure what to do. One night, my mom stayed up all night holding her doing the same as your DH trying to feed her, the next morning she died in my moms arms very peacefully.
Again...I am so sorry, sending you prayer and hugs.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Paula, just thinking of you and your husband and the heartache you are feeling right now and praying for Miss Bow too. I recently let my cat go after 17 years, but as Nida said the choice became very clear and there were no doubts. But when that happens is different for everyone, so I pray your husband finds some peace with that decision too. It was very difficult but also easy to put her first, and it was a comfort knowing I was with her and she had such a good life. Sweet little Miss Bow is loved by so many XO


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Matilda's mommy said:


> Maggie, I started to read the poem, but just couldn't finish it yet. I will one day soon, I love you dear friend


I actually found the poem six years ago around this time of year, right before the holidays. Samantha was turning 15 and in poor health and I was really struggling with knowing when and how to let her go. When I read it, and talked to my vet who assured my Sam would tell me when it was time, I found comfort.

Fast forward a few months to February of 2008. Sam went into renal failure and the look in her eyes told me it was time. I also knew that as hard as it would be, that no one but me would be holding her when she took her last breath. We had been through so much together - marriage, divorce, my mom's cancer and more - so I knew I owed it to her to be holding her and loving her until the end. 

You, too, will find the strength to hold Miss Bow when it's time. God gives us an amazing strength when we have to do things for the ones we love, and He will give you that strength. Sending you peace and love this Saturday morning!


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## Johita (Jul 10, 2009)

Oh Paula, I am just now reading this. Praying for you, your husband and the girls especially Miss Bow. I was wondering how she is doing and hope the pain meds are helping a little.


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## aprilb (Jul 9, 2010)

Matilda's mommy said:


> Today we took Matilda in for her blood work and for the vet here to check out Miss Bow, my husband and I look at this differently, I take care of Miss Bow and know her much better then he does, she is so weak, she is only eating 1 tablespoon of her puree food I make for her 4 times a day, she does drink water and still will shuffle around but falls over easily. She is up 4 or 5 times a night shaking. I love her so much and hate to see her in pain and so unsettled. I honestly feel it iS time to help Miss Bow go to the bridge.
> My husband doesn't see it that way, he feels she is ok, he keeps saying she's not in pain and has told me he feels like I want to kill Miss Bow, so you can see how hard this morning was
> We agreed the vet would check her out and decide what we should do, but when we got to the vets my husband held Miss Bow like a teddy bear, he wouldn't hear of her going to the bridge. The vet was shocked when she first saw Miss Bow, she thought we had brought her in to be put down but after her seeing how my husband is acting she said she would check her out, she said Miss Bow has lost a pound, she now weighs 7lbs, when we first got her she weighed 11 lbs, before we left for AZ a month ago our vet at home weighed her and said she weighed 8lbs, the vet here said Miss Bow is in a great deal of pain and put her on pain meds, we pick them up tomorrow. I just don't understand all this, my heart is breaking. My Miss Bow is so tired, she is such a precious baby, she doesn't deserve all this.
> I ask you to pray for her, I want God's will, not my husbands or mine, even though I truly feel in my heart I'm right.
> Miss Bow has another vet appointment in a month, it's just so hard watching her waste away:smcry:


 Oh my gosh, Paula! This is awful!:crying 2: I am going to be totally honest with you..when it was time to have my Noah put down, my husband also resisted...I finally could not bear it any longer to see him in pain..so I took Noah in by myself when my husband went out and told him about it later...he was being selfish..they gave Noah a big dose of morphine and a tranquilizer and I could feel him relax in my arms...I held him a long time and told him how much I loved him...then I let him go and it was a huge relief knowing he was no longer in pain. I was very upset as was my husband, but we got through it...I am so sorry this is so hard for your husband, but I could not bear to watch poor little Miss Bow in pain for another month, if she were mine..sometimes love has to be tough....bless your heart, dear sister..you will do the right thing...big (((hugs)))


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## IzzysBellasMom (Jan 16, 2013)

I also am in tears praying for you and your husband and Ms Bow. I pray that she goes peacefully and that she really isn't in any pain. I have never faced what you are your husband are facing today and I my heart hurts just thinking about having to. I pray that God calls his angels to help Ms Bow to the rainbow bridge and out of the pain she is in.


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## Alexa (Aug 6, 2009)

Paula, my heart goes out for you and Miss Bow! 

It's one of the hardest decisions ever, dear Paula! But I'm sure you will do the right thing. Please listen to your heart...

In the meanwhile I hope and pray the meds will help and comfort her.

Sending hugs and prayers to you and Miss Bow!

Alexandra :wub:


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

How is Miss Bow doing? Hugs Paula just big big hugs!


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

UPDATE

Miss Bow as bounced back, I still feed her with a spoon but she is eating a bowl a day of her home cooked food each day. She drinks water and walks slowly around the section of RV we have for her she does lose her balance at times, I was so upset with my husband and from time to time I Still am, she doesn't seem to be in pain right now, I watch her closely. I did tell my husband he had to get up with her at night and he does, when he starts to complain about being so tired I just look at him and go on my way.
Every morning I check on her to see if she is still with us, she isn't ready to go, it's so sad watching her lose weight she's down to 6 pounds, the next time she takes a turn for the worse, with God's help I will take her in by myself, I now know my husband never will.:angry:
so for now I cherish each hour with her I pray she goes to the bridge in her sleep
Thanks for asking


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Thank God that Miss Bow is doing so much better. God works miracles.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Still thinking of you and Miss Bow.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

[SIZE="5"[COLOR="Magenta"]](((HUGS)))[[/COLOR]/SIZE] Love you, Paula. I know this is hard. You've been such an amazing mom. I pray that when Miss Bow is ready to go that she will quietly in her sleep and in peace.


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