# Sketchy people - security or move?



## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Okay so some of you will remember that we purchased a house a little over a year ago. We moved here because it was a nice neighborhood, less than 10 minutes from my husbands office and no toll booths. Well in the last year there has been 1 police shoot out (person threatened to kill his family and thankfully let them go safely. Unfortunately he was shot by police in a standoff - he is still in jail. Praying he is okay). There have been several acts of vandalism, people walking around street and on the vacant lot next door at 3:00 in the morning and today a sketchy person came by trying to "sell magazines" and appeared to be casing out homes in the neighborhood. She stayed on our porch, but seemed far to interested in Bella and she even tried to find an excuse to come inside - which I didn't allow. Yall my nerves are raw!!!!:angry: Seriously I'm constantly uneasy here. We have moved a lot and its not financially practical to move again, but I'm always on edge here. It's a typical mid/upper middle class neighborhood. Not fancy but not yucky either. I just cannot seem to relax here. The head of the HOA today is so uncomfortable that she wants to move also! Uggggh. Well, my DH is having no parts of moving. I'm being "paranoid" and "there is no safe place". I want to move to a more rural area or something. This locations seems quite filled with "questionable characters". I have an appointment tomorrow to set up a complete security system, but I have to wonder, is this going to be enough to ease my fears? Okay, someone talk me off the ledge ....


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## Snuggle's Mom (Jan 3, 2008)

I am sorry to hear that you have had some very stressful times since you moved into your new home. To be perfectly honest with you, we have lived here (moved from NJ in 1998 because we loved the area) and have had nothing but horrible experiences. Although we love our home and have added many, many upgrades, plus put in numerous Gardens/Flowerbeds, it has been challenging at best. The latest episode was when we found food in our back yard and behind our 8 ft. privacy fence during the 
Summer. I could write a book about our neighbors and could probably make a decent amount of money!! They were draining their above ground pool water directly into our back yard and we finally realized it about two or so years ago. The tales are really quite interesting to say the least. I truly sympathize with you and hope that things do improve.


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## Lou's Mom (Apr 8, 2014)

Wow! I would be a little paranoid too but the security system should help. The HOA should demand that the police do random patrols thru the neighborhood as well. Once the undesirable folks see a strong police presence they hopefully will move on to easier, less patrolled areas.


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Adopt a pit bull. No no I kid, I kid. I AM very much the paranoid type so I'm not one to talk you down from the ledge. A security system might make me feel better-and so would a drop cam to check in while I was away. Honestly, so would a large dog-but that's an entirely different subject with its own discussions to be had.


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## linfran (Jun 24, 2007)

Please make sure your outside areas are well lit!


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## Lou's Mom (Apr 8, 2014)

My daughter and husband just moved. Things were getting bad in their area,cars broken into, their garage had been broken into, gun shots etc. two years ago her female doxie died mysteriously, a year later, her Weimar brought in a piece of sausage laced with drugs - police came but couldn't do much. Her dogs are inside all day and when they are out at night they don't make a sound. Six months ago they started getting notices about the noise from the dogs, they've had to go to court three times for that. I'm so happy they got out of there.


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## silverhaven (Sep 6, 2009)

Mmmm. give yourself some time and see how you feel, but generally I would say maybe you should listen to your gut


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thanks so much you guys. I'm sorry to hear that so many of you and your families have had these same issues. So frustrating and scary. DH and I are not at all on the same page on this one .... it's creating a lot of tension and that breaks my heart. I'm supposed to just be tough and brush off my gut instincts. I'm sorry, but I'm not wired that way. I'm intuitive in so many ways and if this is on my heart, there is a very good reason for it. I only wish there were an easy answer. My answer is sell this house and buy something smaller and cheaper closer to the country. This would also put me closer to my nephews who I help out a lot with getting to ball practices etc. I don't care how big or fancy a house is - I do home staging a bit - I can make anything little pretty lol. What I do care about is being surrounded by a community that feels for the most part safe. Over here, I feel the exact opposite. It's completely unsettling. I'd be much happier in a tiny little rancher with a little bit of privacy, a small local church that we could join and just time together. Last night I had a dream where I watched Bella run off in to the woods and get lost. I couldn't get to her. For some reason I had to go inside to get my shoes on and then try to find her. I woke up terrified. I have to wonder if that "shoe delay" was symbolic of my husband slowing me down - keeping me from helping her. That's what my heart tells me  . Please, please don't misunderstand. I am married to a truly wonderful man. We've been together since I was 16 years old and we've been married 19 years. He is my best friend. He's a wonderful Dad to Bella, a person of faith and a wonderful provider for our family. Unfortunately his practical side and my emotional side do not always match up well. This is one of those times. I am very much a fight or flight response kinda girl - he just ignores stuff and thinks if you don't worry about it, it will just go away. Uggggh.

Anyway, I spoke to my brother last night and the first thing he said was "move out to the country". I nearly burst in to tears. He and I are NOTHING alike - but in that moment, someone finally understood. I don't fit here. Honestly y'all, I don't know what I'm going to do. We are getting the security system today and I'll be working with the installer to make sure we make very thorough choices. As for moving, I just don't know how to make the numbers work if my husband insists on having a large home in a spiffy neighborhood. I truly don't know how this is going to play out....


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Oh and Shelly, I'm crazy allergic to dogs, but I'm so tempted to get a big baby! Yesterday on FB I shared two beautiful Rotties that needed to be rehomed because their Momma has a terminal illness. Trust me, I was seriously tempted.....


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## maltese#1fan (Feb 20, 2012)

Bridget, I'm so sorry you are going through this. There's nothing worse than not feeling secure in your own home. Hopefully getting a security system will help. We have one and it definitely helped me. In my town, you need to get a permit from the police department in order to do any door to door soliciting. So now if someone shows up at our door without one, we threaten to call the police. Maybe you can look into if your town has something like that. 

I know you can't get a big dog, but what if you got a really big water bowl and left it on your porch. This way they would _think_ you had a really big dog.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Bridget, one of the best things you can do is upgrade your home with a good security system that is monitored by a reputable security company. When a burglar or anyone else seeking to cause you or your family harm, sees that your house is monitored by a security company (by the sign and little sticker displayed on your property and window) then that alone discourages the bad guys from doing harmful things to you and your home. In addition, your homeowners insurance policy should give you a discount for your security system.

As for people knocking at your door that you don't know ... do not open the door!! It took me a long time to knock this into Felix's head that by doing so, in this day and age, is very dangerous. If someone is knocking on your door to ask for help and makes it sound like an emergency ... then offer to call 911 for them.
Too many people have been seriously hurt or murdered because they felt they should answer their front door to strangers. 

As for the head of your HOA ... I hope your HOA board is making efforts to work on solutions to deter crime in your neighborhood. A good HOA will do that. Just because someone lives in a middle class or upscale neighborhood does not mean one is exempt from vandalism or crime. It's up to our communities to work together with law enforcement in order to deter crime.

I am so sorry to hear you have had to encounter this kind of stress after moving into your new home. Unfortunately, we never really know who lives next door until after we have moved into a new home. But then for myself, I probably wouldn't consider buying a house if the houses next door to the one I am considering buying is on sale, too ... because that's often a sign that something negative has been occurring in the neighborhood. 

Bridget, I hope with your new security system that it helps you to feel more secure!

Hugs.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Bridget, I would move if I was in your situation. I've lived in truly dangerous areas within Los Angeles but at that point in my life I didn't care and I had only me to worry about. Now that we walk our dogs and are out and about a lot more, I wouldn't move back to those areas. The last thing I want is for G&M to pick up on my anxiety when I walk them. I could pay a lot less and live 4-5 miles east/south of here but I know I will be uneasy in some neighborhoods. 

I agree about getting security for your place, but I also agree with you about why put yourself in a situation that is making your daily life be less optimal. Perhaps you could make your husband understand that this is affecting your day to day happiness and it's not something you could just switch off voluntarily?


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## IzzysBellasMom (Jan 16, 2013)

Bridgette, so sorry for your concerns, I can remember when you found the home and how excited you were. Security system and lots of lighting should help your issue, and I have to ask if you and your husband have protected your self with other means. Self defense classes or weapons, lots of people have guns, I do not, but I have a stun gun and pepper spray. Sometimes taking classes offered by the local police so that you know how to react in a situation can be of some reassurance to you.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, but I understand...we live on the outskirts of town, nice area, nice neighborhood. Then we have the grandchildren of an elderly couple (yes the little derelicts live there) next door dealing heroin right in front of our faces and SWAT breaking down the door in full tactical gear! Luckily the kids have left, they were more afraid of the HOA than the police...but whatever works. It's been pretty quiet since.

I only have one thing to add to Marie's statement...don't open the door to strangers, but DO let them know you're there. If they believe you're not home, you have a much bigger chance of them breaking in. Most criminals want the easy, and a hot prowl could go very wrong, very quickly, for them...they would generally not take that chance.

Good luck to you


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

I've been thinking about this a lot since I first read it. It is a terrible situation, but I don't really have a clear picture. Are the questionable people who hang around in the middle of the night people who live in the neighborhood...or who have come there from somewhere else? 
Many years ago, we lived in a very nice neighborhood in the Hollywood Hills. All of our neighbors had security systems, but we did not. Our house was robbed, our garage was robbed and somebody even got into my car and attempted to start it with a screw driver. Each time it caused us much more loss than the small gain the thieves may have made. But, they were ill planned crimes of convenience. Our neighbors had grander houses, and probably more valuable things, but we were the easy mark. So, I think you would benefit by a security system.

It isn't likely that any of these people are looking to hurt you, even if they are looking to get some stuff to sell. But, if you move it will cost you more than being robbed. You know it will cost tens of thousands of dollars to move this soon. If you insist, it may cause a lot of resentment in your marriage. It is really nice for your DH to have a short commute, it saves him stress and gives him more time to relax.

I suggest that you do get the security system. Also, you should ask for a meeting of your HOA to discuss a solution. You could set up a neighborhood watch program...or maybe hire a patrol car.

You said you are in "fight or flight" mode. I suggest you fight for what is yours.

When we moved from LA we lived in a rural area in Sonoma County. Well, living in the country got tired really fast, although we stayed there for nine years. It was so much work. We had some crazy neighbors. We had to battle invading animal predators. Even though we were a short drive from town, and the parcels were only two acres, I still felt an uneasy sense of isolation.


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## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Sylie said:


> I've been thinking about this a lot since I first read it. It is a terrible situation, but I don't really have a clear picture. Are the questionable people who hang around in the middle of the night people who live in the neighborhood...or who have come there from somewhere else?
> Many years ago, we lived in a very nice neighborhood in the Hollywood Hills. All of our neighbors had security systems, but we did not. Our house was robbed, our garage was robbed and somebody even got into my car and attempted to start it with a screw driver. Each time it caused us much more loss than the small gain the thieves may have made. But, they were ill planned crimes of convenience. Our neighbors had grander houses, and probably more valuable things, but we were the easy mark. So, I think you would benefit by a security system.
> 
> It isn't likely that any of these people are looking to hurt you, even if they are looking to get some stuff to sell. But, if you move it will cost you more than being robbed. You know it will cost tens of thousands of dollars to move this soon. If you insist, it may cause a lot of resentment in your marriage. It is really nice for your DH to have a short commute, it saves him stress and gives him more time to relax.
> ...


 
This is a great post. I didn't realize you had an HOA. Anywhere that I know of that has an HOA is well groomed and safe community. If I lived in a place with an HOA and shady things started to happen I would demand more of my HOA. I'll be darned if I'm going to pay an HOA and not live in a secure, and very nice area.


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

I would say move as well! But in the meantime get your security system in place.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thanks so much everyone. We did have the security system installed yesterday. We are also "taking other means" of protecting ourselves  . Our HOA is minimal at best. It's funny, at a previous house we had an HOA that was too involved and this HOA here is set up to be much more laid back. Funny, you always want what you don't have I guess. I loved so many of the ideas and thoughts that you all have shared on this post. I think I will do some of the "big dog" things like a bowl outside etc. I also may do some of the things like our Grandma used to do it her home. Place big country boots by the doors etc. Just things to make people aware that folks are there and prepared to protect themselves and their property if need be. It really is too costly to move at this point, so for now taking these measures is probably our best course of action. We have several officers who live in our neighborhood - so they'll be made aware. I'm not sure if these incidents are from neighborhood residents or outsiders, but either way it needs to be stopped. I'm surprised at how little communication occurs between neighbors here. At our last home our next door neighbor even came to our house one day and threatened my brother to get off our property lol. The neighbor had never met my brother and I really appreciated him trying to protect us. My brother got a big kick out of it too. Anyway, I'm hoping this will all bring us a bit more peace of mind. When the time comes, hopefully we will move away from this area of the state all together, but until then - praying things calm down.


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## sdubose (Feb 21, 2012)

Maybe you need one of these signs.:HistericalSmiley: But really, it is a shame to have to live in fear. But I'm afraid there are going to be issues anywhere you go. Security systems are a very good start. I would also recommend some self defense training also.


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## .13124 (Jun 1, 2012)

I am very much a paranoid person so I don't think I'm of much help at easing your worries! But I think your husband is right, there is no safe place. Anywhere there will be a chance of something happening. My parents have lived in this same neighborhood for 15+ years and it used to be so relaxing and safe, but now there's off-leash Rottweilers, neighbors fighting, calling the police on each other, threatening each other, drug raid, etc. luckily we have not felt personally threatened, our property is still respected and we don't really get any suspicious visitors. 

The security system is a great idea, just made sure not to put any stickers on your doors/windows or signs on your yard about your security system, or at least none that include the name of it. I heard that doing so makes it easier for those who really want to get in, by knowing the name they could figure out how to breach the security. Not trying to scare you, that is very rare to happen, but I think it is a good idea to not advertise it. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry you feel so insecure in your beautiful new home. I'm not convinced, though, that living 'out in the country' is truly any safer...and in some ways being isolated would make me more nervous. I think having neighbors watching out for each other is a great deterrent. 
We live in a nice little 'country-town'... I grew up in the general area. We used to go to bed with doors wide open in the summer for 'air' because we had no AC back then. Unfortunately that serene lifestyle is no longer the way these days. Crime has invaded even our small community. Home/car/bank robberies. Even assults and occasional murders in nearby towns. 
We do have security and we have motion lights around the house. I can't say I'm at all fearful...just common sense to take advantage of those things.
I think everyone should use sensible caution.
Have signs posted that the area is under security. Maybe form a neighborhood watch?
Anything that 'advertises' to the 'bad-guys' that an intended crime isn't going to be 'easy' is one of the best reasons they avoid such places. The tend to want quick and easy in and out.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

sdubose said:


> Maybe you need one of these signs.:HistericalSmiley: But really, it is a shame to have to live in fear. But I'm afraid there are going to be issues anywhere you go. Security systems are a very good start. I would also recommend some self defense training also.


 :w00t::HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley:


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Bridget do you live in my neighborhood? When we first bought our home it seemed safe enough, like you we have police officers who live all around our area. In the last couple years I have noticed neighbors behind us look pretty sketchy, :w00t: we are friendly with a couple neighbors, one watches our house when we winter in AZ, so I was talking to my neighbor and she shares with me that three homes one right across from me are rentals, I've never lived in a neighborhood with homes that are rented out. I want to move so bad, but the timing isn't right.
We also had strangers who would come to are door, we finally put a sign no soliciting, but they still come to the door:angry: I would love to have a security system installed, but my dh doesn't agree, and he was a cop:w00t:

Our world has gotten so scary it's just a shame we have to live like we do.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I'm so sorry you're going through this.I found it's best to check crime stats in a neighbourhood, no matter how nice it seems.You'd be surprised at the stats.I check stats online and I've even called the local sheriff or police to inquire. We also learned the hard way, after renting, check out the neighbourhood at night on week ends, you'll soon find out who has loud parties or garage bands playing all night...


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## Malt Shoppe (Jul 20, 2011)

Bridget, I really feel for you, it's hard to relax when you fear being in your own home.
Just want to suggest things I have: in addition to your security system, I highly suggest putting up motion flood lights on corners of your house or garage, or both. I have them on my house and one on the carport. Someone approaching doesn't know if someone inside the house just turned on the lights outside or not! They don't like lights. I love my flood lights.

Also, the big manly boots sitting by the door is suggested. I have a "WARNING - SECURITY DOG" sign greeting any visitors, a driveway alarm (have a very long driveway). I'm lost without that. I know when someone is approaching.

I'm very fortunate, we have 24 hr lake patrol here so we seldom have any problems and feel very secure. We have stickers on our cars, any cars without them is stopped, investigated if they look suspicious. I lived here 15 yrs before my son and his son arrived and live with me now. With two pick up trucks parked on my land, I feel no one is going to stroll up to cause trouble.
There are also doorbells that have a 'large dog bark' available. I thought about getting one of them awhile back but never did. I don't have a doorbell, Blaze is it!

It's funny, there are really big fancy shmancy houses here but mine is one of the truly lake homes. Those friends with big fancy shmancy houses come visit my modest lake home retreat to get away from all that!
Get those motion flood lights!


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Thanks so much everyone. I love all of the ideas that you have, so please do keep sharing! We have some lighting outside of our home, but it is no where near adequate....adding that to our "to do list" that's for sure. Self protection has also been taken care of  . I met with several neighbors and expressed my concerns and will continue to do so. This is the strangest neighborhood! We've moved a lot, but I have to say this neighborhood is less social than all of the previous houses. Some neighbors are very random about when they will speak to you or keep you informed. It's like you exist one second and don't the next. Very odd SMH. We put a lot of money in to renovating this house when we bought it last year. The renovations are not complete and the market really is not "seller friendly" at this point. We are likely stuck here a few more years at least I would guess. My goal is still very much to leave Richmond. I was born and raised here and I will not be sad to leave. I have family throughout the deeper South and that is much more my cup of tea. A little more space and smaller towns just seems to be a bit more like our style. One day.....  . Until then we are prepared to keep our eyes open and protect our home and ourselves. I refuse to let them win..... not on my watch.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Bridget, I've been thinking of you this morning and this came to mind

I am thinking God placed you there, your neighborhood needs some like you who will take the bull by the horns and not just talk about what's happening but acting on it. I'
M pretty sure your neighbors are thrilled to have you there, the sketchy ones not so much lol


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## Lou's Mom (Apr 8, 2014)

All the suggestions are great - I would agree on the motion sensor lights and if you can afford it even a camera system might make you feel better. Also keep any landscaping near the house trimmed back so no one can hide in the bushes. When we bought this house the previous owner had a sign for the alarm system and stickers on the windows but also an NRA sticker on the front glass. That may deter a few of them!


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