# So stressed out



## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

I know how stressful it is to move. I know how stressful it is to renovate. And I know being pregnant in the 3rd trimester while is wonderful can also be stressful. But it just seems everyday is another headache. We have been in the house a month. I've been living in dust and out of boxes. Going back and forth between my house, my parents house and my in laws depending on whether I can stay in the house or not. The hardwood floors have been an ongoing nightmare and are taking forever to finish b/c the installer had some problems. I still haven't been able to start the baby's nursery b/c of the hardwood floor situation. I know things take time, but it's just so hard to get settled. Being hormonal is not helping. I"m usually pretty laid back w/having work done. We already had once house renovated, but this time I just feel the pressure of the baby coming (and I"m a nervous wreck about having our first baby) and getting the major work done. And the kitchen hasn't even begun yet! Projected start date is not until end of June! Baby is due in 11 weeks. 

Well as if the house renovation wasn't stressing me enough a major meltdown happened this weekend. And it's my Benny. Let me preface this with telling you how hard I've always tried with B&E's home health care. Trying to feed them the best food, not over-vaccinating, constant grooming, etc. etc. You know how we pride ourselves in being the best malt mommies right? Well with Bijou, my first malt, he had the worst teeth. I vowed to religously brush B&E's teeth. So they get constant brushing, oral sprays, dental chews. Benny has had several dentals. I was taking such good care of his teeth that last summer my vet thought it would be safe to hold off a year on his cleaning. His last dental was 8/2010. Emma had her 1st dental in October and while her mouth looked super healthy she needed several extractions and I beat myself up over that. Well Benny's teeth started to tarter quickly over the last few months. I kept brushing thinking we could hold off a little longer. I decided w/the baby coming in August that now would be the time to bring him. So he went in Friday for his dental. Girls....he had 13 teeth pulled. ALL of his middle TOP AND BOTTOM front teeth are gone. When you look in his mouth he looks like an old man now. He's only going to be 6 in August. I'm devasted for him. I hate myself that this happened to my little boy. He has been in such pain and discomfort all weekend. The vet said I'm one of his best pet parents and not to blame myself. That this is the nature of his teeth. He did a full Xray and noticed that when his old vet extracted his baby teeth that there were still remnants of baby teeth in his gums! He said Benny will likely need dentals every 6-8 months from here on forward. And here I was thinking I was taking exceptional care of my babies. To top it off he cries when we pick him up. He has a tiny lump and bruise by his back leg. I have no idea what that is from. We noticed it last night. I'm gonna bring him back to the vet is he doesn't show any improvement by the time I get home from work. 

I'm just so stressed from the house but this really just put me over the edge. I love those dogs more than anything. And I feel I failed my Benny. At less than 6 years old and he had to go through all of this. 

Keep us in your thoughts. Need some positive thoughts sent our way if you don't mind. I'm really trying to stay stress free for the baby, but things are just getting to me. And I"m trying really hard. Thanks for listening.


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

I'll be pray that things go smoothly from now on! I know it's easier said than done, but when I find myself in overwhelming situation, I try to picture the finished product.... In your case healthy baby has arrived, house renovation done, fluffs are fine! I then take one day at a time feeling relief at one step at a time, when something gets accomplished! It will all come together, and you'll wonder how that you got through it? But you know what?? YOU DID!!!! I also think of the positives things, and count my blessings! You've got a precious baby on the way, two delicious fluffs, and a new house, that's going to be wonderful!!! Good luck..... Everything will be all right!!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Hang in there Tammy, I wish it wasn't so stressful for you right now. Remember the house will be finished in time. And what a shame about Benny, I'm kind of in the same situation. The vet advises that we can hold off as long as possible because a dental is a stress on the body she would like to avoid as long as we can. I feel the same as you, how long is too long to wait? and the vet is giving good advice but still, if the need for extractions is only known during the dental and not during an exam, how do we know for sure if it is OK to wait? They are making an edcuated guess but of course there's always an exception and we don't want our fluffs to be the exception. 
There's no way you could have known that so try not to feel too badly. He will be OK but I know that I would feel the same as you right now.:grouphug:sending love and good thoughts your way.


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## lmillette (Apr 23, 2012)

I hope things get better for you Tammy and for little Benny. Sorry to hear that there is so much going on. Your a great mom to Benny so you can't beat yourself up (I know its easier said then done). Prayers for you and Benny. Keep us posted on Benny's leg and teeth progress.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Tammy, I think most of us try to manage life :smpullhair::smpullhair:by controlling it and we feel guilty when things spiral downward, because a great deal of the time we are well able to keep all the balls in the air pretty well. Then suddenly something spins out of our control and pretty soon all the balls are falling. This doesn't even take into consideration the hormonal spikes that overcome one in the last trimester. :w00t::w00t:
I wish that we could lessen your pain, dispel your fears of all that might go wrong w/baby & delivery i.e. control stuff for you---but pigs are not yet flying---at least the last time I looked! :HistericalSmiley:
Some unsolicited advice  (worth what you pay for it) is to put a halt on the renovations and enjoy your last few months of "baby glow." I know how impossible that sounds but in the words of Scarlett O'Hara---"I'll think about that tomorrow."
You could just do the nursery & leave the kitchen---think about which is most important at this time & set limited objectives. Geeze, I would come help if I could!
I truly am sorry about Benny & know I would feel exactly the same way you do---so much work for what? But one can only do one's best.:smilie_tischkante::smilie_tischkante:
Your sweet baby girl needs for you to take care of "mama" today. . . and let things all fall down if they need to. She is worth it & so are you.:wub::wub:


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Tammy - I found that moving was one of the most stressful things I've ever been through. Remember I said that next time I move from here I'LL be in a box, and I meant it. :w00t: Then add on all the renovations. They really NEVER go on schedule. I was incredibly blessed with one that did when we renovated the entire apt -- 8 weeks start to finish with new kitchen, bath, skim coating, floors sanded and finished, painting, etc. But everyone else I knew had their jobs take twice as long. Bottom line - it's really hard going through it, but other than physically doing it yourself, there's just so much you can do. And you're there so at least you can keep on them with progress. But they also often book several projects at the same time and start one, then the next, round robin. In the end it will all work out and the baby won't know if her nursery is finished in time or not...all she'll want is her loving mommy and daddy

About Benny's teeth - I was fanatical about taking care of Tyler's teeth, brushing every single night. He needed his dental last year when he was two!! My vet just said it's mostly genetic and also toy breeds with small mouths have the worst teeth. So I'm resigned to it. I still do the brushing and spraying but know that it probably means a dental every year. :smilie_tischkante: I know how hard it is to see our babies go through this but after the initial pain from pulling Benny will be fine.

Wish there was some way to make things better. Do you want me to get some tools and come over? :w00t: No huh? Sending all our love to you. See you in a couple of weeks and you can forget all this at Pat's.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Snowbody said:


> Tammy - I found tha
> Wish there was some way to make things better. *Do you want me to get some tools and come over? :w00t: No huh?* Sending all our love to you. See you in a couple of weeks and you can forget all this at Pat's.


:HistericalSmiley::HistericalSmiley:


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## Gizmo'sMom (May 10, 2012)

Tammy, please don't feel guilty about Benny's teeth. You did everything possible to maintain his teeth, and yes my vet also said it is genetic and small breed dogs are notorious for having bad teeth. My Malt-Gizmo- had 6 teeth out when he was Benny's age and 18 teeth out when he was 12. After some initial discomfort he has been fine, and as dogs do, he adjusted well, he eats a soft homemade diet so its not an issue. Its just one of those things...

You have alot going on right now, and whats most important is that you concentrate on whats best for you and the baby. I too was stressed out during the 3rd trimester of my last pregnancy. Hubby started a new job out of state, I was packing up to move, still working and had a 2 yr old to chase after! I accepted as much help as was offered. We moved when I was 5 weeks from delivery. When I think back to it now I wonder how I survived it, but we do. It is now 20 years later and I am here to tell you we have a way of perservering! My sons are 23 and 20, we still live in the same house and we made it through a tough time and are stronger for it! *Let go of the small stuff* and try to think of the future, I know its hard but it will all work out. The baby will not notice if his/her room is not perfectly finished, Benny will be fine, the house will come together and you will soon have a beautiful baby. 
PM me if I can help--I was an OB nurse for many years.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Gizmo'sMom said:


> Tammy, please don't feel guilty about Benny's teeth. You did everything possible to maintain his teeth, and yes my vet also said it is genetic and small breed dogs are notorious for having bad teeth. My Malt-Gizmo- had 6 teeth out when he was Benny's age and 18 teeth out when he was 12. After some initial discomfort he has been fine, and as dogs do, he adjusted well, he eats a soft homemade diet so its not an issue. Its just one of those things...
> 
> You have alot going on right now, and whats most important is that you concentrate on whats best for you and the baby. I too was stressed out during the 3rd trimester of my last pregnancy. Hubby started a new job out of state, I was packing up to move, still working and had a 2 yr old to chase after! I accepted as much help as was offered. We moved when I was 5 weeks from delivery. When I think back to it now I wonder how I survived it, but we do. It is now 20 years later and I am here to tell you we have a way of perservering! My sons are 23 and 20, we still live in the same house and we made it through a tough time and are stronger for it! *Let go of the small stuff* and try to think of the future, I know its hard but it will all work out. The baby will not notice if his/her room is not perfectly finished, Benny will be fine, the house will come together and you will soon have a beautiful baby.
> *PM me if I can help--I was an OB nurse for many years*.


Gee Karen - if I come with some tools (I guess I'd have to come with my DH who knows how to use said tools) and you come as an OB nurse, Tammy will be totally taken care of. :new_shocked: So true about don't sweat the small stuff... even though it feels like big stuff in the grand scheme of things, it's all small stuff. You're all healthy, have a roof over your heads (unless that's being worked on), food on the table, treats in Emma and Benny's bowls and that's what really counts.


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

Snowbody said:


> Gee Karen - if I come with some tools (I guess I'd have to come with my DH who knows how to use said tools) and you come as an OB nurse, Tammy will be totally taken care of. :new_shocked: So true about don't sweat the small stuff... even though it feels like big stuff in the grand scheme of things, it's all small stuff. You're all healthy, have a roof over your heads (unless that's being worked on), food on the table, treats in Emma and Benny's bowls and that's what really counts.


I've cared for infants for 25 years, so I think that I can be of some help also!!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

and I have cared for maltese for . . . . . . . . ok, let's not go there! But it counts!


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Tammy, I think you have gotten some good advise, or words of wisdom. I have nothing to ad...just sending:grouphug:


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

Oh Sweetie, everything is coming at you at once and being pregnant makes you so stressed. Benny will be fine, remember when CeeCee had her teeth pulled. I was a nervous wreck because I too though, maybe I wasn't as diligent as I should have been. She is doing beautifully and you can't tell it. They really adapt so well. I would be a complete mess with the moving and all the workman in my house, not to speak of the dust and dirt and delays! Tammy, I would tell you to have a drink but you can't even do that!! Let your husband take care of the workman and you concentrate on getting all the nursery furniture together and then when they get through, have someone put it together for you and you sit in a chair and supervise where everything goes! I promise you, you will look back on this and think, how did I get all of this done and now everything is back to normal again. Go and get a message and relax......bless your heart, I hear you and I do know where you are coming from. Hugs and love to you and little Bubbles and Benny and Emma........:heart::heart::heart::heart: and one for your husband :heart:


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Furbabies mom said:


> I'll be pray that things go smoothly from now on! I know it's easier said than done, but when I find myself in overwhelming situation, I try to picture the finished product.... In your case healthy baby has arrived, house renovation done, fluffs are fine! I then take one day at a time feeling relief at one step at a time, when something gets accomplished! It will all come together, and you'll wonder how that you got through it? But you know what?? YOU DID!!!! I also think of the positives things, and count my blessings! You've got a precious baby on the way, two delicious fluffs, and a new house, that's going to be wonderful!!! Good luck..... Everything will be all right!!


 I know. I keep saying in 6 months or a year I'll look back at all of this and giggle! Just when you are in the midst of chaos it's so hard. I 100% signed up for this. Knew what we were getting into. The one part I didn't know was how hormonal and emotional pregnancy would make me. Thank you so much for your sweet, kind words. XO!



Maglily said:


> Hang in there Tammy, I wish it wasn't so stressful for you right now. Remember the house will be finished in time. And what a shame about Benny, I'm kind of in the same situation. The vet advises that we can hold off as long as possible because a dental is a stress on the body she would like to avoid as long as we can. I feel the same as you, how long is too long to wait? and the vet is giving good advice but still, if the need for extractions is only known during the dental and not during an exam, how do we know for sure if it is OK to wait? They are making an edcuated guess but of course there's always an exception and we don't want our fluffs to be the exception.
> There's no way you could have known that so try not to feel too badly. He will be OK but I know that I would feel the same as you right now.:grouphug:sending love and good thoughts your way.


 Thanks Bren. It's true. My vet even said he felt he steered me wrong for saying we could hold off a year on his dental. But it was impossible to know the severity until he got in there. Can't wait to hug you next week. Finally! :wub:


lmillette said:


> I hope things get better for you Tammy and for little Benny. Sorry to hear that there is so much going on. Your a great mom to Benny so you can't beat yourself up (I know its easier said then done). Prayers for you and Benny. Keep us posted on Benny's leg and teeth progress.


 I will keep you updated. Thank you. 


edelweiss said:


> Tammy, I think most of us try to manage life :smpullhair::smpullhair:by controlling it and we feel guilty when things spiral downward, because a great deal of the time we are well able to keep all the balls in the air pretty well. Then suddenly something spins out of our control and pretty soon all the balls are falling. This doesn't even take into consideration the hormonal spikes that overcome one in the last trimester. :w00t::w00t:
> I wish that we could lessen your pain, dispel your fears of all that might go wrong w/baby & delivery i.e. control stuff for you---but pigs are not yet flying---at least the last time I looked! :HistericalSmiley:
> Some unsolicited advice  (worth what you pay for it) is to put a halt on the renovations and enjoy your last few months of "baby glow." I know how impossible that sounds but in the words of Scarlett O'Hara---"I'll think about that tomorrow."
> You could just do the nursery & leave the kitchen---think about which is most important at this time & set limited objectives. Geeze, I would come help if I could!
> ...


 Thank you Sandi. As nice as it would be to hold off on the renovation...we must keep pushing forward. These renovations would be impossible to do w/a newborn. I just have to get thru these next few weeks! 


Snowbody said:


> Tammy - I found that moving was one of the most stressful things I've ever been through. Remember I said that next time I move from here I'LL be in a box, and I meant it. :w00t: Then add on all the renovations. They really NEVER go on schedule. I was incredibly blessed with one that did when we renovated the entire apt -- 8 weeks start to finish with new kitchen, bath, skim coating, floors sanded and finished, painting, etc. But everyone else I knew had their jobs take twice as long. Bottom line - it's really hard going through it, but other than physically doing it yourself, there's just so much you can do. And you're there so at least you can keep on them with progress. But they also often book several projects at the same time and start one, then the next, round robin. In the end it will all work out and the baby won't know if her nursery is finished in time or not...all she'll want is her loving mommy and daddy
> 
> About Benny's teeth - I was fanatical about taking care of Tyler's teeth, brushing every single night. He needed his dental last year when he was two!! My vet just said it's mostly genetic and also toy breeds with small mouths have the worst teeth. So I'm resigned to it. I still do the brushing and spraying but know that it probably means a dental every year. :smilie_tischkante: I know how hard it is to see our babies go through this but after the initial pain from pulling Benny will be fine.
> 
> Wish there was some way to make things better. Do you want me to get some tools and come over? :w00t: No huh? Sending all our love to you. See you in a couple of weeks and you can forget all this at Pat's.


 Thanks my Sue. The crazy thing is that I knew how this would be. I think it just caught up with me over the weekend. And Benny...seeing his sweet face and the sadness in those eyes just breaks my heart. I know he will rebound...just so hard seeing him like this. 

As for the tools....YES! Would love to see you w/a tool belt LOL! 

Next weekend will be just what I need. Hugs. Thanks Sue.


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Gizmo'sMom said:


> Tammy, please don't feel guilty about Benny's teeth. You did everything possible to maintain his teeth, and yes my vet also said it is genetic and small breed dogs are notorious for having bad teeth. My Malt-Gizmo- had 6 teeth out when he was Benny's age and 18 teeth out when he was 12. After some initial discomfort he has been fine, and as dogs do, he adjusted well, he eats a soft homemade diet so its not an issue. Its just one of those things...
> 
> You have alot going on right now, and whats most important is that you concentrate on whats best for you and the baby. I too was stressed out during the 3rd trimester of my last pregnancy. Hubby started a new job out of state, I was packing up to move, still working and had a 2 yr old to chase after! I accepted as much help as was offered. We moved when I was 5 weeks from delivery. When I think back to it now I wonder how I survived it, but we do. It is now 20 years later and I am here to tell you we have a way of perservering! My sons are 23 and 20, we still live in the same house and we made it through a tough time and are stronger for it! *Let go of the small stuff* and try to think of the future, I know its hard but it will all work out. The baby will not notice if his/her room is not perfectly finished, Benny will be fine, the house will come together and you will soon have a beautiful baby.
> PM me if I can help--I was an OB nurse for many years.


 Thankfully our fluffs do adjust well. The initial shock is what's so hard for us to seeand move past. I do have to follow your advice...letting go of the little stuff. You are a good nurse. Thank you so much for your great words of wisdom! :wub:


Sylie said:


> Tammy, I think you have gotten some good advise, or words of wisdom. I have nothing to ad...just sending:grouphug:


 Hugs. Thank you! XO!


CeeCee's Mom said:


> Oh Sweetie, everything is coming at you at once and being pregnant makes you so stressed. Benny will be fine, remember when CeeCee had her teeth pulled. I was a nervous wreck because I too though, maybe I wasn't as diligent as I should have been. She is doing beautifully and you can't tell it. They really adapt so well. I would be a complete mess with the moving and all the workman in my house, not to speak of the dust and dirt and delays! Tammy, I would tell you to have a drink but you can't even do that!! Let your husband take care of the workman and you concentrate on getting all the nursery furniture together and then when they get through, have someone put it together for you and you sit in a chair and supervise where everything goes! I promise you, you will look back on this and think, how did I get all of this done and now everything is back to normal again. Go and get a message and relax......bless your heart, I hear you and I do know where you are coming from. Hugs and love to you and little Bubbles and Benny and Emma........:heart::heart::heart::heart: and one for your husband :heart:


 Is Heather super emotional Dianne? I feel like a basketcase at times! So silly b/c I knew what the renovations entailed. I've been through this before! It just gets to be so overwhelming. Poor Bubbles...her first word will be probably be a curse word LOL! That's all she hears from me these days. 

Erik is doing great at running the show and my family and his family have all been pitching in. I'm very lucky. Still though....I just want to nest and get settled. Thank you again. :wub:


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

Tam! so sorry to hear this...how many teeth does Benny have now? I feel so sad for him too...but you ARE the best doggy mommy so don't feel bad!!! See you soon. Please give Ben a kiss for me.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Well, a week from Saturday, we'll provide a needed distraction for you and the kids. :chili:

There's no way you could have done anything better for Ben's teeth....like the vet said, it's in his genes. It would have happened no matter what you did or didn't do. 

As for the reno.....:w00t::smilie_tischkante:.....take a deep breath and face it, ....it is what it is. Baby won't know her nursery may not be completed, although I bet it is. :innocent: And you know what? ....it will all be so worth it when it is finished. :aktion033::thumbsup:


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Tammy -- take some deep breaths -- in and out (but don't push yet) -- and try to relax. None of this is worth getting upset over. The house will get done -- the floors will be perfect -- Benny will be OK with his teeth. Some dogs just have teeth problems, no matter how well we take care of the teeth and their health. It just happens and isn't really a big deal -- his little gums will heal and he'll adjust. Secret adjusted just fine to being completely toothless. And the nursey will be finished soon.

Now just sit back, relax and think about that beautiful baby girl that will be here soon. Have a cup of nice peppermint or chamomile tea and think about the great things you have planned for her. Daydream about the wonderful days to come.

We love you and are sending lots of mediative and calming energy your way.

As my Mom used to say "this too shall pass", and then think of all the energy you've wasted on something you cannot change.

Love you, gf.


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## CrystalAndZoe (Jul 11, 2006)

Tammy, even if his teeth were completely and totally calculus free, periodontal disease can still lurk undetected because it's a disease that takes place below the gum surface and you can't detect it without x-rays and periodontal probing. You just do the best you can with making those kind of decisions based on guessing, vets advice, and gut instinct. Putting them under a general vs giving it a few years in between dentals. It's really a hard call. I've chosen to only do maybe 2 or 3 dentals in the lifetime of my 3 and I hope I don't feel guilty over this decision because I think I would rather deal with lost teeth over too frequent times of putting them under a general. Just my own conclusion I've come to for me and my babies.

And I know how awful it is to move and live among renovations. Can't imagine doing it while pregnant and worrying about certain things getting done before the baby arrives. But the one thing I've learned over the years is that the things that absolutely need to get done, do. And the rest can be managed and worked around later. You can't have a glass of wine but I'm thinking maybe some ice cream this evening is in order. Something sweet and cold on a hot summer evening will be perfect and feel a bit like being pampered and hopefully the extra calcium will help give you a bit of a calm feeling before bed and help you get that much needed rest.

Hugs to you sweetie!


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

godiva goddess said:


> Tam! so sorry to hear this...how many teeth does Benny have now? I feel so sad for him too...but you ARE the best doggy mommy so don't feel bad!!! See you soon. Please give Ben a kiss for me.


 Thanks Al. I appreciate the texts today too. Looking forward to next weekend. 


The A Team said:


> Well, a week from Saturday, we'll provide a needed distraction for you and the kids. :chili:
> 
> There's no way you could have done anything better for Ben's teeth....like the vet said, it's in his genes. It would have happened no matter what you did or didn't do.
> 
> As for the reno.....:w00t::smilie_tischkante:.....take a deep breath and face it, ....it is what it is. Baby won't know her nursery may not be completed, although I bet it is. :innocent: And you know what? ....it will all be so worth it when it is finished. :aktion033::thumbsup:


 A day away from the house is just what I need. I'm hoping Benny is non-reactive at your house so we can just enjoy ourselves. Can't wait Pat! It's just what we need. :wub:


Lacie's Mom said:


> Tammy -- take some deep breaths -- in and out (but don't push yet) -- and try to relax. None of this is worth getting upset over. The house will get done -- the floors will be perfect -- Benny will be OK with his teeth. Some dogs just have teeth problems, no matter how well we take care of the teeth and their health. It just happens and isn't really a big deal -- his little gums will heal and he'll adjust. Secret adjusted just fine to being completely toothless. And the nursey will be finished soon.
> 
> Now just sit back, relax and think about that beautiful baby girl that will be here soon. Have a cup of nice peppermint or chamomile tea and think about the great things you have planned for her. Daydream about the wonderful days to come.
> 
> ...


 NO PUSHING LOL! I keep saying one day at a time. And yes in time it will all pass and this will all be a memory and one we can laugh at and say how did we ever get thru it. I so just needed to vent. I've had 2 pregnant girl meltdowns. One back in March when our purchase of the house almost fell through and now this past weekend. I"m regrouping now. Thanks Lynn.....you are still coming next weekend right?! SOOO excited!!! XO!



Crystal&Zoe said:


> Tammy, even if his teeth were completely and totally calculus free, periodontal disease can still lurk undetected because it's a disease that takes place below the gum surface and you can't detect it without x-rays and periodontal probing. You just do the best you can with making those kind of decisions based on guessing, vets advice, and gut instinct. Putting them under a general vs giving it a few years in between dentals. It's really a hard call. I've chosen to only do maybe 2 or 3 dentals in the lifetime of my 3 and I hope I don't feel guilty over this decision because I think I would rather deal with lost teeth over too frequent times of putting them under a general. Just my own conclusion I've come to for me and my babies.
> 
> And I know how awful it is to move and live among renovations. Can't imagine doing it while pregnant and worrying about certain things getting done before the baby arrives. But the one thing I've learned over the years is that the things that absolutely need to get done, do. And the rest can be managed and worked around later. You can't have a glass of wine but I'm thinking maybe some ice cream this evening is in order. Something sweet and cold on a hot summer evening will be perfect and feel a bit like being pampered and hopefully the extra calcium will help give you a bit of a calm feeling before bed and help you get that much needed rest.
> 
> Hugs to you sweetie!


 Thanks sweets. You are going through so much w/Jett and all that Alice was going thru w/Mia...I feel so bad I haven't been there thru my friend's troubles w/their malts. I felt bad writing this post, but I just needed it to come out. We try so hard to make the best decisions and in the end things like this still happen. I skipped dentals w/Emma...never having her had one until last fall (she was 4 years old and it was her 1st dental) and even though her mouth looked great she still had issues. Benny, he's the opposite. He's had 3 or 4 dentals now and look at the problems he has. All we can do is continue to care for them the best we can. But it's still hard not to blame ourselves when things go wrong even when it's beyond our control. 

Thank you Crystal. Hugs my friend. XO!


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## hoaloha (Jan 27, 2012)

Tammy, it's totally okay to just VENT and get it all out! Everyone has given such wise words of advice so far  You know and we know that you care for B&E the best that anyone can! The problem with health in general- you do what you can with the genetics we have. I can imagine the frustration and disappointment you feel with Benny's teeth, but remember that you did what you could! PLEASE PLEASE be happy and don't let the stress overwhelm you... Think of how amazing your little baby girl is and how excited you will be to hold her in your arms. Let that give you a rush of endorphins!


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## Hunter's Mom (Dec 8, 2008)

My dearest friend - 

Conor is 5.5 months old and here is what is still unfinished in his room (1) he does not have tie-backs installed for his curtains (2) his bedroom door never got sanded and painted nor did his closet doors (3) nothing decorative on the walls because I just can't find things I love and (4) the guestbed in his room never got a headboard. But you know what - he doesn't even notice!

Our upstairs never got painted either - and Conor doesn't know it yet. You are correct, you can't do certain things in the home with a newborn but you can when they are a little older (like 5 months and forward) and so little by little things start getting done. I know you can do this and while you might fall apart a bit while trying you can do it!

Benny is going to be ok - he and Hunter now have matching mouths (which I think is cute). 

I love you and I know this is tough but you can always escape to ME where we will pamper you and let you test drive parenting :thumbsup:


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## mary-anderson (Jan 12, 2010)

Tammy, Sorry to hear your life is so stressful at this time of your life. As others have said you can not control genetics. He will adjust and be fine. The best thing of all he is still your special Benny.:wub:


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Awww sweeties I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time right now! I'm no good with tools and I'm sure not an OB nurse! Things will get better - and will be absolutely wonderful in a very short time! 

I'm sorry about sweet little Benny - give him lots of kisses from Auntie Maggie!


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## Blissaz (Apr 30, 2012)

I'm a new mom of my first malt....and I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Remember that you are a good mom! I wish you the best!


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

hoaloha said:


> Tammy, it's totally okay to just VENT and get it all out! Everyone has given such wise words of advice so far  You know and we know that you care for B&E the best that anyone can! The problem with health in general- you do what you can with the genetics we have. I can imagine the frustration and disappointment you feel with Benny's teeth, but remember that you did what you could! PLEASE PLEASE be happy and don't let the stress overwhelm you... Think of how amazing your little baby girl is and how excited you will be to hold her in your arms. Let that give you a rush of endorphins!


 :wub: Thank you. Yes it's very frustrating as you said. I tried to do everything "right" w/B&E. Go to reputable breeders. Go to training. Feed high quality food. Brush teeth daily. Yet what happens? I still manage to get a highly reactive Benny with bad teeth! Regardless I love him more than anything, but it is still upsetting when these things happen. 

And speaking of endorphins...last night I got a great pregnant mommy workout in. Exercise=endorphins! And then I had some ice cream.....LOL! 



Hunter's Mom said:


> My dearest friend -
> 
> Conor is 5.5 months old and here is what is still unfinished in his room (1) he does not have tie-backs installed for his curtains (2) his bedroom door never got sanded and painted nor did his closet doors (3) nothing decorative on the walls because I just can't find things I love and (4) the guestbed in his room never got a headboard. But you know what - he doesn't even notice!
> 
> ...


 Erin...you have been such a great support since the day I told you "I think I might be PREGO!" LOL!!!! You've gotten me thru a lot in the past few months. I know baby girl won't notice if her nursery isn't up to par...I just know how I get when things are out of order. Realistically I know everything isn't going to get done before her arrival. I just am hoping for some order and less dust before her arrival....and a working kitchen! And thank you for the offer to come visit....one of these days for sure! But at least we have next weekend! :aktion033:



mary-anderson said:


> Tammy, Sorry to hear your life is so stressful at this time of your life. As others have said you can not control genetics. He will adjust and be fine. The best thing of all he is still your special Benny.:wub:


 Thanks Mary! :wub:


maggieh said:


> Awww sweeties I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time right now! I'm no good with tools and I'm sure not an OB nurse! Things will get better - and will be absolutely wonderful in a very short time!
> 
> I'm sorry about sweet little Benny - give him lots of kisses from Auntie Maggie!


 Kisses delivered from his beloved Auntie Maggie. Benny still dreams about falling asleep in your arms. :wub: If you were closer I would have you over to comfort him. You may not be good w/tools or be an OB nurse, but you were Benny's favorite rocker. :wub:



Blissaz said:


> I'm a new mom of my first malt....and I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Remember that you are a good mom! I wish you the best!


 Thank you so much. And enjoy being a first time malt Mom. :wub::wub:


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

So to update....Benny is eating well. No bowel movement since Saturday so wondering if the antibiotics have anything to do with that. I talked to the vet last night. He said to give him one more day and if is still agitated when we pick him up or feel the lump then to bring him back in tomorrow. Being he is eating and walking he feels we can wait another day. Ben still isn't playing with Emma. He has always taken longer to recover from anethesia so this is pretty normal for him to still be lethargic, but the lump does bother me. In the meantime we will continue to monitor. 

Thank you again for all your kind words and thoughts.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Tammy - glad that Benny's eating. You fasted him before the dental right? Usually takes a day or two to get the bowels going I found after them not eating for a while and anesthesia. Do you know if they put the IV into his back leg and that's what the lump could be from? You might want to ask. Don't know if that's done but could be. I think Benny will be fine but it will take a few days...like everything in your life right now. All this chaos in your world will prepare you for having a child. As Rosanne Rosanna Danna said, "It's always something" and it is with kids.:blink: You just learn to roll with the punches and get sleep whenever and wherever you can. :thumbsup: 

To put things in perspective being a new mom...I always heard people say that with the first baby, if the pacifier falls out on the ground, you grab it quickly, sterilize it and put it back in. The second baby you rinse it off in warm water and stick it in. The third baby you just grab it from the ground and stick it in...5 second rule.:smrofl::smrofl: It gets easier. Love you, Tam. :wub:


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## StevieB (Feb 2, 2012)

Snowbody said:


> To put things in perspective being a new mom...I always heard people say that with the first baby, if the pacifier falls out on the ground, you grab it quickly, sterilize it and put it back in. The second baby you rinse it off in warm water and stick it in. The third baby you just grab it from the ground and stick it in...5 second rule.:smrofl::smrofl: It gets easier. Love you, Tam. :wub:


Susan, that is SOOO true!! 5 seconds rule? Try 5 minute rule! Tammy, you've got a lot on your plate, girl. I remember when the nesting drive kicked in I felt so agitated - like the need to control my environment goes into overdrive, and I'm not even an organized person naturally. So I know you're probably feeling like you're drowning. But it will be ok. Once the baby gets here a lot of that frenzied feeling goes away. I will give you a couple of pieces of sage advice. This is the advice I gave all my friends. 1. The only things a baby really needs are boobs and diapers. Or bottles if you're going that route.:thumbsup: The rest of that stuff is really just for us. 2. I've never found a problem the boob can't solve. LOL. Sorry if that's TMI. But it's the truth! And I know you feel bad about Benny but he will be ok. My vet told me these dogs are genetically predisposed to tooth problems and some get it worse than others. You just do what you can but sometimes genetics just wins out.


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## lmillette (Apr 23, 2012)

Tammy, glad to hear Benny is coming around some. Sue could be right about the bump if that is where they put an IV in. Keep us posted on little Benny's progress. And vent to us whenever needed!! Everything will fall into it's place soon. 

And it sounds like Celeta has good advice (may need to tap into that advice when the day comes! ) So true about the pacifier with baby 1, 2, and 3. LOL!!!


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Snowbody said:


> Tammy - glad that Benny's eating. You fasted him before the dental right? Usually takes a day or two to get the bowels going I found after them not eating for a while and anesthesia. Do you know if they put the IV into his back leg and that's what the lump could be from? You might want to ask. Don't know if that's done but could be. I think Benny will be fine but it will take a few days...like everything in your life right now. All this chaos in your world will prepare you for having a child. As Rosanne Rosanna Danna said, "It's always something" and it is with kids.:blink: You just learn to roll with the punches and get sleep whenever and wherever you can. :thumbsup:
> 
> To put things in perspective being a new mom...I always heard people say that with the first baby, if the pacifier falls out on the ground, you grab it quickly, sterilize it and put it back in. The second baby you rinse it off in warm water and stick it in. The third baby you just grab it from the ground and stick it in...5 second rule.:smrofl::smrofl: It gets easier. Love you, Tam. :wub:


 I spoke to the vet. He seems to think that's where they did an injection for his blood. His front paw is shaved so that threw me off. He was PLAYING last night FINALLY! He is still fussy when I try to touch the lump but being he was playing I held off bringing him back to the vet. He's definitely improving now. Tomorrow will be a week since he had the dental...poor boy always takes so long to bounce back, but this time he really went through an ordeal. I'll keep you posted. 

And yes...all this juggling and stress is certainly preparing me for baby girl's arrival. And my 3 bathroom trips a night are certainly preparing me for being awake all night long when she arrives! :w00t:



StevieB said:


> Susan, that is SOOO true!! 5 seconds rule? Try 5 minute rule! Tammy, you've got a lot on your plate, girl. I remember when the nesting drive kicked in I felt so agitated - like the need to control my environment goes into overdrive, and I'm not even an organized person naturally. So I know you're probably feeling like you're drowning. But it will be ok. Once the baby gets here a lot of that frenzied feeling goes away. I will give you a couple of pieces of sage advice. This is the advice I gave all my friends. 1. The only things a baby really needs are boobs and diapers. Or bottles if you're going that route.:thumbsup: The rest of that stuff is really just for us. 2. I've never found a problem the boob can't solve. LOL. Sorry if that's TMI. But it's the truth! And I know you feel bad about Benny but he will be ok. My vet told me these dogs are genetically predisposed to tooth problems and some get it worse than others. You just do what you can but sometimes genetics just wins out.


 I totally LOL'ed at "all baby needs is boobs and diapers!" LOL!!!!! That was great. I will remember to use my boob to solve most problems LOL!!!! 

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that! :HistericalSmiley::wub:


lmillette said:


> Tammy, glad to hear Benny is coming around some. Sue could be right about the bump if that is where they put an IV in. Keep us posted on little Benny's progress. And vent to us whenever needed!! Everything will fall into it's place soon.
> 
> And it sounds like Celeta has good advice (may need to tap into that advice when the day comes! ) So true about the pacifier with baby 1, 2, and 3. LOL!!!


 Thank you!!! :wub:


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## mfa (Oct 5, 2009)

Oh Tammy, youve had so much going on! Im so sorry sweet Benny had to go through all that. You are one of the best moms out there. Sending hugs.


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## Katkoota (Feb 18, 2006)

Awwh Tammy, sending you lots of :grouphug:s

Hopefully, you will feel less stressed so soon. 

I know how you felt when you learned that MyBenny had teeth extracted. Crystal had one of hers pulled out last April and boy I didn't feel good about it , but then I accepted that genetics can sometimes play a role. Small breed dogs especially are known for teeth issues.

Crystal is still happy that you can't tell that she lost a tooth. I am sure Benny is still a happy , loved and in good healthy boy :tender: and I think that this is what matters the most.


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## romeo&juliet (Jun 23, 2011)

aweeeee Sweetie im sending hugs and prayers your way time to relax out your feet up and just let it be what it will be and just worry about your baby on the way your fluffys and the house well it will get done :chili:soon we hope :blush::blush:


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

mfa said:


> Oh Tammy, youve had so much going on! Im so sorry sweet Benny had to go through all that. You are one of the best moms out there. Sending hugs.


 Thank you Florence! I appreciate that. Hugs!!


Katkoota said:


> Awwh Tammy, sending you lots of :grouphug:s
> 
> Hopefully, you will feel less stressed so soon.
> 
> ...


 It's so hard Kat. We feel awful for when they have to go thru these things b/c we can't even explain and make them understand. The bottom line is that we always do what is best for them. Teeth or no teeth they are still our beautiful darlings. :wub: (and Benny will always be YOUR Benny!)


romeo&juliet said:


> aweeeee Sweetie im sending hugs and prayers your way time to relax out your feet up and just let it be what it will be and just worry about your baby on the way your fluffys and the house well it will get done :chili:soon we hope :blush::blush:


 Thanks Ursula! Hugs to you Romeo and Juliet. We miss you guys! XO!


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## donnad (Aug 22, 2006)

I am so sorry you have been so stressed out....hang in there. Things can only get better from here.

Looking forward to seeing you next week!


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