# I may get my puppy tomorrow



## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

Dear Friends,

Well as many of you know I have been mourning my Star and feeling gulity looking for a new puppy.
I have found one and have a ticket to get her tomorrow, but my husband is making me feel very bad







and guilty.
He said I am being selfish, I asked him if that was bc 

1. I have a 6 yr Lhasa who my family thinks I push away when I had Star? ( Right







, Dayzie got to sleep with me not Star...) Dayzie is 14 lbs so I could trust her on the bed and my 200 lbs husband not to squish her!!

2.Also is it bc he wants to spur of the moment travel somewhere and doesn't care I need time to plan for dog care and HATES paying for boarding??!!









3.Or is it bc I am paying ALOT







more for this dog from a breeder than his friend's mom who has been selling dogs for 10 yrs.

4.Or is it bc I am such a worry wart and on everyone to pick up their crap and watch where their







12 and 8 size feet are going...

Am I suppose to sit on the side line ready to wait on and do whatever my family wants me to do and be???
I am 491/2 yrs old , had/have skin cancer (mostly under control), so I can't get in the sun (no boating,,my husband fishes, sails and golfs!!)My kids enjoy the lake and boat and their new cars paid for by alot of my little inheritence.
Yes I am lucky to stay home and not work (how ever long that may last.) but isn't it time for me to have something to make me happy?









It has been a stressful few years and I would think God would want us to make the most out of our life right?
Are we to suffer?? I don't know.. I amconfused and sad now bc it was suppose to be a happy thing me getting a puppy and now I am crying wondering if I am being selfish for me...
I thank you all for being honest in your answers, I will not be mad or offended for your input..
P.S. Also my husb said he could almost understand getting the dog if I was going to breed it.








Now doesn't he know I don't agree with that...I already feel guilt for not getting a rescue.

Thanks for listening to me being a basket case.







.At least this is cheaper than a shrink. Which he suggested I should go to after Star died, but the lady he wanted me to go to didn't even like animals







so how was that to help me!!

Please help....


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

Selfish isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes we have to give ourselves what we want because no one else will. I guess the main question is why doesn't he want you to get this dog? Why do you want this puppy right now? Will it cause too much trouble in your house/marriage? Would it be better to wait?

My husband wasn't too excited about getting a second dog, but he put his feelings aside because he understood why I wanted and needed her. Although he has accepted Molly, Wilson is still his main man. 

I am sure that wasn't much help, Good luck!


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## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

> Selfish isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes we have to give ourselves what we want because no one else will. I guess the main question is why doesn't he want you to get this dog? Why do you want this puppy right now? Will it cause too much trouble in your house/marriage? Would it be better to wait?
> 
> My husband wasn't too excited about getting a second dog, but he put his feelings aside because he understood why I wanted and needed her. Although he has accepted Molly, Wilson is still his main man.
> 
> I am sure that wasn't much help, Good luck![/B]


Yes thank you, any advice helps..
Selfish not being a bad thing..humm it sounds good.
I don't know why he doesn't want me to get her. He said I know why..







(My whole life is a guessing game.)

I want this puppy now bc my Lhasa is 6 yrs old now and I don't want her to be too old and crabby towards it!!! and I'm no spring chicken.
Also my youngest will be graduating from high school this yr.

Yes it will cause stress in our marriage,( traveling, vet, grooming bills.)

Glad to hear your hubby had similar feelings.
Thank you for your help Deanna..


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## NONNY (May 21, 2006)

Okay...this is from one basket case....to another.







If I had waited for my husband's "blessing and approval" I would NEVER have any pet in OUR home. I decided....after the big 5-0 and serious illness....that "I" could make some choices. (I expected hubby to fall ga-ga over Izzy, but that never happened.) I had followed his NO ANIMALS IN THE HOUSE RULE....since I was 18. He went with me to get Izzy and Chipper, he never "wanted" them....and he made it very clear....that they were MY dogs. Was I selfish to get my first puppy at 51? Did I finally put my feelings first? You might think that it caused conflict between us, but there was already such a gap....okay that's a whole different story.....but I NEEDED these loving little guys to brighten my life....and they have.











Izzy and Chipper are MY doggies. I am responsible for them. It was MY choice. Was I being selfish? Maybe? I WANTED the companionship. I WANTED to snuggle with them and watch TV. I WANTED them to follow me everywhere I go in the house. Was I selfish to get TWO doggies for ME? Maybe? Do I care?







No! MY life is better because of them.



It's not like you're a child who might not take care of.....or get tired of a new pet. You're a big girl! Why not put YOUR feelings first?


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## Jacki (Jul 13, 2006)

First, Lisa,





















I'm sorry that what should be a joyful time is causing you pain. 

Okay. Now I'll say my gut reaction answer. If my husband told me I couldn't get Sprout, I'd tell him where he could go. BUT that said, I know that's not a great reaction!!!







And I have caused many unnecessary fights by saying the first thing that pops into my head (when it comes to my husband).









So I would say ... is this really going to create a large problem between you and your husbad? Is it something that he just doesn't understand but will get over -- or is it going to get worse if you bring this puppy home? You'll probably want to look at that side of things before making a decision. This puppy could be the best thing for you right now ... but it could also be better to wait. 

Sometimes though, you do just need to do things that make you happy. It sounds like your family has activities and pursuits that you can't participate in, and I would think, through talking things over, they could understand why this puppy is important to you. 

Best of luck ... I hope that when the time is right you will be introducing us to your new baby Maltese!!!


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## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

Nonny,
That sounds like me!! Following the no pet rule 4 ever!! And not having anything to do with them.
After having 2 kids he said if I wanted a 3rd I would have to be the one to get up and take careof it, feed and change it's diapers with no help from him this time.
It's scary for me to even make a decision..
He blew his top bc I made a airline reservation with out his approval..
!!!HELLO!!! Its's X-mas and the airfare and vacancies are not gonna get better!!!

Even though my (strong and silent) recently passed mother said, "things that hurt you just make you stronger" 
really just make me want to break that generation mold that they brought us up in..
I am feeling better already with this advice and similar situations. Thanks.


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## PhDmaltmommy (Jun 4, 2006)

Dear Lisa,
I can really sympathize with your situation. My former fiance bought Bruiser around 3 years ago, but he slowly became my dog over time. Once I graduated from college, I was able to keep Bruiser full time in my apartment (no doggies in dorm rooms!) I love Bruiser more than anything in the world, but I was also filled with guilt that he was at home by himself all day long. So, I wanted to get a puppy sooooo badly and my fiance said "No!" Well, we broke up...and the next month I got a new precious baby. And....I cried for two straight weeks. I felt like I was using the puppy to get over my own pain, that I was being selfish...and that I had made Bruiser unhappy. Well...it took Bruiser a while to adjust...but just last night, as I sat in my chair watching them play, I kept thinking what a great decision I had made for all of us. Men can be jerks, but dogs are our ever-loving and faithful friends. You should do what it takes to make yourself happy!


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## HappyB (Feb 28, 2005)

> Nonny,
> That sounds like me!! Following the no pet rule 4 ever!! And not having anything to do with them.
> After having 2 kids he said if I wanted a 3rd I would have to be the one to get up and take careof it, feed and change it's diapers with no help from him this time.
> It's scary for me to even make a decision..
> ...



It sounds to me like your family should own the term "selfish". It doesn't look like they want to put your feelings and needs up there with theirs.
I'm glad you have made this decision for you. There should be some give and take in any relationship. Sounds like you have done more than your share to make things like they want them, rather than them trying to make things like you want.
I am looking forward to seeing picures of your new baby.
I hope you have a safe flight to pick her up.


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## Scooter Pie's Mommy (Mar 6, 2006)

I am sorry that you are feeling badly







Sounds like you may need to talk it over again with your husband to get a better understanding of each other's point of view, and let him know that you care about his feelings & point of view but that getting a puppy now is something that will be a great thing for you and make you very happy. I would think that your husband wants you to be happy too. I hope that your husband will welcome the puppy as a new family member and that the puppy will bring you together rather than cause conflict. That's just my opinion for what it's worth. Best of luck to you and keep smiling.


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## samsonsmom (May 4, 2005)

You have to have a reason to get up in the morning. I love my husband and my sons, but I needed Sammie for ME. If that is selfish, so be it. Each one of them had a place to go each day and things to do when they got there. I work at home, sometimes go from Sunday to Sunday without ever leaving the yard and a 15 hour work day is the rule rather than the exception. Sammie gives me a compact, fuzzy little place for me to "go" to during the day and to cuddle up with for a long nap when the work gets to be too much. The boys are gone from home now with lives of their own. My husband travels extensively, leaving me here alone much of the time. Now, thanks to my fluff butt, I'm never alone. Let's hear it for selfish! By the way, the way Doggie Daddy dotes on the Samster, you would think it had been his idea from the git-go!

Samsonsmom


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm really sorry you're hubbie is giving you such a hard time about getting another Malt baby. I can't tell you what you should do,only you can decide that. My hubbie didn't approve either. He wouldn't really even discuss it with me. He would only say, it was a bad idea & he didn't want a dog in the house. After a few mths of trying, I got really brave & put my name on a waiting list anyway & never even told him. I still remember how excited I was the day I went to pick Boo up, I also remember how I dreaded surprising my hubbie with our new puppy. He wasn't happy about it & informed me Boo was totally my responsibility & he wasn't helping at all. He pretended to ignore cute little baby Boo for a few days & pouted around. But of course it didn't last long. Boo soon had him wrapped around his tiny little paw. He loves Boo very much now & spoils him as bad as I do. However he doesn't want another one. I sometimes yearn for another Maltese, but I do understand why my hubbie doesn't. It's much harder now to take vacations. I can't go everywhere all the time, & before I do anything, I think of Boo first. He sleeps in our bed & is never far from my side. I like it that way. But it is hard sometimes when the hubbie wants me to just up & go on a road trip or a days outing. I can't do that very easily anymore, & most times, I don't even try. So, for the time being, we will remain a one furkid family. I'm just glad that the one furkid is a Malt. I can't imagine not having at least one. I would be just like you, wanting another one with all my heart. Then I would probably be bringing home another surprise for my hubbie. I don't think you're being selfish at all & I do hope you get to bring your little one home.


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## Karen542 (May 4, 2005)

Soory to hear that


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## Cathy (Mar 19, 2006)

Starry,

If you're getting the puppy I think you are I say go for it! After 50 years of adhering to everyone else's wishes it's time you got something you really want. A new puppy will help mend your broken heart.

BTW, my family always gives me the gears that I don't pay enough attention to my first dog (also Maltese) too. But, I live alone with my 2 girls so they don't see all the time I spend grooming her and having her sit on my lap. Granted I spend a lot more time grooming and training my new show pup but that doesn't mean the other is neglected. In fact, when I'm grooming Smudge, Lizzie sits on my shoulder so she's part of the action. How spoiled is that???









Hugs,

Cathy


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## Cosy (Feb 9, 2006)

Sometimes, we as women, become the primary caregiver to our family and enable them to go on and do what they want to do. They become so accustomed to our being this way that when we dare to step outside the box, their reaction is negative, whether from resistance to change or the fact this is NOT the person they believe you to be, therefore you must be doing something wrong. It may also be that your hubby sees it as one more thing you have to care for and feels you have enough to do. 

I think you should get the new pup if you can handle being the soul caregiver to that pup and not expect anyone else to do anything for it. Can you deal with your husband's negativity and remarks that may ensue? Can you choose to ignore and go on? As long as this is not simply a rebellious act on your part (not that there's anything wrong with that, but not with a pup..lol) but an act of true love for the forthcoming pup I don't see why you all can't deal with it.


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## bellasmommy (May 8, 2005)

I also can't spend much time outside (PMLE-basically a weird rash if i go out during the heat of the day) and I understand what you mean about being left behind sometimes. But really, even without that consideration, I think if you want the puppy you should get it. Its not fair to give and give and not reap a few rewards now and then..my family didn't want me to get Bella, and you see how that turned out. I thnk many people only see new puppies as a burden, many can't see the way you feel when that fluffy face looks back at you with pure admiration and love...no strings attached (other than poop scooping and vet bills that is, what a small price to pay). Whatever you decide, good luck.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Wow, you've gotten some great advice and I can say I agree with most all of it! As they say, it is time for you to do something for you. HappyB is a Ph.D psychologist, so getting advice from her on this topic is especially meaningful. 

I hope and pray that this will be the joyous event for you that it should be. For all you went through with Star, you deserve a new baby to love. Getting a new puppy is supposed to be such a happy time. Don't let the naysayers ruin it for you.


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Lisa,
I'm sorry that this decision is causing stress for you and for your family/husband. I have no answers for you. I suspect that only you really know enough about the situation in your home to be able to decide whether the time is right. Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best!


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## Tina (Aug 6, 2006)

Family has a way of making us feel guilty. Only we can allow ourselves to feel that way. I know what you are saying. My husband, Harry, is the same way. Harry loves my dogs too, though he would never admit to it. 
Don't feel guily, go and get your new puppy.


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

Good luck. I feel for you, and believe me I understand how you feel.

Melanie


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## Boobookit (Dec 3, 2005)

*Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do. You don't want my feelings on controlling spouses because then I could go on for days. My first marriage was extremely violent and I swore when I got out of it with my life and my son's life, intact that I would never, ever let anyone even try to control me again. And I haven't. This is a long story in itself that I won't go into, but it isn't a pretty one.*

*My second husband is a real sweetheart and whatever I want, (within reason, of course) I can have. With this said, there are things that your family ca do that, because of health reasons, you can not do. You need something for YOU, something to make YOU happy, and a puppy with their unconditional love is the best medicine in the world...nothing can beat it.*

*Life is a struggle, no doubt about it, and my life this year has been nothing but bumps and lumps, but when I sit on my couch next to my husband and my two furbutts lavishing me with hugs, kisses and tail wags, the lumps and bumps disappear, just for a little while. I wouldn't trade that for the world.*

*This is a decision that only you can make, but if I were you I would sit down with a blank piece of paper and a pen. Draw a line down the middle of the paper and on one side write the word PRO and on the other side write the word CON.*

*Now write all the reasons why it is a good idea to get this furbutt for you on the PRO side and the reasons why you shouldn't on the CON side and sit back and look at the list.*

*When all is said and done....pick out your furbutts name!*

*Good luck!*

*Marie & the boys*


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## Andrea&Luci (Jul 30, 2006)

IMHO----I think that if this is going to make you happy (it would certainly make ME happy) You should definitely go for it!! Life is too short, and why not live it up?!? If I were you, I would definitely definitely go and get that beautiful baby!!


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## Maltese_NH (Jul 23, 2006)

My husband and I fought for weeks prior to me getting both of my fluffbutts. I hate confrontation....but I wouldn't give up.

When I got Petey my Yorkie ....my husband wouldn't even go with me to look at the puppies. When I decided I wanted Haylee he went with me ...not really sure why but I'm glad he did.

He loves both of these little ones....he does bitch and complain because Petey has issues with training and Haylee can get a little mouthy if she's not the center of attention.

Sometimes you just have to stand up for what you want....and to heck with everyone else!!!!!


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## cindy6755 (Mar 20, 2005)

<span style="color:#6600cc">I would defiantly go get your puppy. You need to think of yourself and your happiness. My first husband was very controlling and I am so happy I finally stood up for myself. My second husband is very kind and pretty much lets me do whatever I want. He says whatever makes you happy!(thats probably why I have 3 maltese!)







</span>


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## ladypup (Oct 22, 2006)

you do not sound selfish to me at all.

if anything, your husband sounds more selfish, not wanting you to spend your time on anything else but him and at the same time having multiple hobbies.

sometimes it is better to let go, but sometimes it is better to insisst. 
you should be able to do something for yourself and your husband should be able to support you and be happy for you for that. there might be a little conflict, but you will pave your way into being more happy.

try to have him sit with you and talk to you about what he is feeling and why he doesn't want the dog.
tell him you do not know why and you would like to sit and listen and understand once and for all...
after he is done, ask to tell him how you feel, and see if he will hear you.

it seems like your husband has his hobbies, and you deserve yours as well.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

*



This is a decision that only you can make, but if I were you I would sit down with a blank piece of paper and a pen. Draw a line down the middle of the paper and on one side write the word PRO and on the other side write the word CON.

Click to expand...

*[/B]



*After that, you take another piece of paper, draw a line in the middle, on one side you write down what YOU do for your husband, and on the other side you write down what HE is doing for you.*



*Knowing that you cannot go fishing or boating because of health reasons, I think it's rather your husband who is being selfish. A loving husband stays home with his wife when she cannot go with him for health reasons. It seems to me that there are other things going on in your mariage then you buing a dog. Kids and husbands have a tendency to take us for granted. The day you say enough is enough and do something for yourself they feel treated. They are jaleous that your attention is not directed at them alone anymore. *



*I have been lucky. I am married for 41 years and always could and still can do whatever pleases me. If I am happy, he is happy. He would love to go on a cruise. But we don't because I am sea sick. And he does not want to go by himself. In a mariage both sides have to give. If not there comes a time when it ends in divorce. My sister stayed for 30 years in her mariage. The day her kids were all grown up and able to take care of themselve, she filed for divorce. She said now I am taking care of me.*


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## Cary (Jun 11, 2006)




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## lonestar (Dec 21, 2004)

This is my input. For what ever it's worth. You know if you have time for a puppy.You also know if you can afford a puppy. I bet you know and have considered all these negatives , and feel comfortable with the idea of getting one. Like others here have said your a big girl.You know what's right for you. Is it selfish? Yeah. So what. I wanted a puppy in the worse way. My husband did NOT want a dog







. He really thought we didn't have the life style for a dog







. I kept asking him and he kept saying NO







. So one day, I sat him down and asked him if he had any idea how empty I was feeling







? That our daughter was away at school and I was having such an empty nest sadness







. That I had really been thinking and I had decided that I WANTED A BABY!!!







And he asked, What kind of puppy were you wanting? Works every time







! True story.Now we have Rudy and Paris.Our lives have changed of course. But one thing he tells everyone is that.Yeah,these little guys are pain in the a** sometimes but they sure make my wife happy. And the truth is they make him happy too. Good luck. I hope it all works for you.


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

> That I had really been thinking and I had decided that I WANTED A BABY!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...

































That is a great story! 

Anyone whose husband keeps saying no needs to try this!


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=301179
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Has anyone heard from Lisa about whether she went to get her puppy????


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## samuelette (Apr 9, 2006)

Needing some uncondishinal love is not selfish, its a need. Your a woman chances are your dna is crying out for you to have something to baby. Life isn't just about making your family happy (besides with a new puppy to love you will be happier and healthier and your family will benifit) Your around the same age as me and sound a very good wife and mom , but you are a person too with needs if a little bundle of white fur is going to give you joy and peace does it really matter what anyone else thinks. Its sad your husband doesnt understand he is a man and just doesnt get it. I'm 47 and have MS and my furbabies give me a reason each day to get up. I had to stop working 6 six yrs ago and felt useless most of the time till I got my first puppy 3 1/2 yrs ago, my husband also wasnt to happy but now he admits my dogs have been the best thing that I have ever done for myself. So remember your not selfish just a woman with a need. Patricia


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## Fenway's Momma (Dec 6, 2005)

I am sorry you are feeling guilty. That stinks that you have to deal with that during a happy time of getting a new puppy.


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## Boobookit (Dec 3, 2005)

*I am looking for an update!!!! Has anyone heard anything?*

*Marie & the boys*


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## coco (Sep 20, 2006)

Did you get the puppy?


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

Any update? You have gotten some good advice. I hope things are looking better now.


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## arko (Dec 4, 2006)

> Any update? You have gotten some good advice. I hope things are looking better now.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


maybe she's on vacation with hubby hehe.


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Lisa has been on SM several time in the past few days. I'm worried about her. 

Lisa please post and tell us what happened. We're here for you either way. Let us be your support system......


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## thelittlepet (Apr 18, 2006)

Hoping for an update.
Aimee


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## coco (Sep 20, 2006)

I keep wondering. Did you get your puppy? Please give us an update.


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## Jacki (Jul 13, 2006)

> Lisa has been on SM several time in the past few days. I'm worried about her.
> 
> Lisa please post and tell us what happened. We're here for you either way. Let us be your support system......[/B]


I am worried, too, Susan. 

Lisa, we're here no matter what, arms wide open to give you virtual hugs.














Hoping to hear from you!


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## Morkie4 (Oct 13, 2006)

Lisa, we are all concerned! Just give us a brief update if it is sad for you, we want to be there for you







And if it is good news......we'd love to hear that too!!!


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

My husband never thinks we need another puppy (dog) -- no matter what. But, once I get the baby home, he falls in love with it too. Of course, they're always YOUR dogs (not his) but he babies them terribly and loves them lots.

I've learned (over the past 24 years) just not to pay attention to him about getting a dog. He seems to always get everything he wants and never really asks my opinion or blessing, so when it comes to the dogs, I get my way (selfish or not).

Sometimes he says I love the dogs more than him.







But then sometimes he loves the dogs more than he loves me.









Anyway, I would do what I wanted. He'll get used to it.


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## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

> Lisa has been on SM several time in the past few days. I'm worried about her.
> 
> Lisa please post and tell us what happened. We're here for you either way. Let us be your support system......[/B]


Dear All,
I have been reading all these postes and could not bring myself to explain my decision, but here is most of it.
That night before my trip after my husb saying I was selfish to get another dog and I suspect he meant spending soo much $ for her..(3k plus the transfer/my air.., ignoring my other dog,and family) I could not go to sleep and thought about all the responses. Thank you.
I cancelled my air and almost had a breakdown as my feeling bad over spending so much for me. 
Even though now they very much supported me and said to get it.
Well the fear of me becoming the homebound, worrywart,never want to travel freak of a person that I had gone thru the last 8 months (also my mother dying) drove me to just think maybe my husband was also right about the dog being soo small and what if it got sick from traveling via air then whose fault would it be?? Us losing $ again.
Well maybe I should listen to him, usually he is right and so I said ok we will go look at your friend who has been selling pet quality maltese for years and I can see them first. Also this meant 1/3 of the price.
Of course I got one and now I am sad wondering if I did the right thing..
I took her to the vet and she is 3lbs at 12wks!! I am feeling like I have the bablyblues bc I am upset she will not be a little dog. 
I am asking God to help me see this is the right thing and that now I won't be so stressed out when everyone is walking around and my other dog plays with her..also I can leave her at dog camp if needed.
My dtr and sister said she plays like a puppy should and is much better than my little 6lb Star was.
I am too embarressed to even post all this but you all have made tears come to my eyes and face with being so concerned.
My husband said I could take her back if I wasn't happy but I cannot do that bc she has the sweetest face and beautiful coat.
I can't understand why I freaked out and am wondering if I need help!
He was willing to drive me to the airport but I canceled my ticket and thought I was doing the best thing for my family by not spending soo much.
Now they say I could've got what ever dog I wanted







.
I guess I feel better kowing she will be more sturdy .
Also I was so scared if I got another dog could I give my Lhasa the attention she now needs for her eyes and thyroid.
Well I have told you all my story and am killing myself smoking and wondering if I will love this dog even when she gets big. I sound like a monster and I hate myself for being so superficial..please forgive me everyone but I thought you all are my friends and at least deserve tio know the story even though I have been reading and considered to never post again..


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

first off,























second of all, mini is 4.4 lbs at 13 weeks. and she's estimated to be 5 1/2 lbs full grown. 
and she came from a very reputable, well respected breeder.... if she grows to be 8lbs i'm fine with it as long as she's healthy. 

i wish you wouldn't beat yourself up.... it makes me feel so bad, knowing there isn't much i can do over the internet. just know we are here for you...


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Oh my goodness, bless your heart.







I don't quite know what to say yet but please know that none of us should judge you for the decision you made. The way I "operate" is that if someone is asking my advice, then I give it. But once a decision is made, it is then up to me to not be judgemental but rather to support and help that person live with the decision.









BTW, congrats on your new baby! Oh and Catcher was 3.2 pounds at 12 weeks and ended up at a little over 7.


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## Jacki (Jul 13, 2006)

I'm at work but I will send you a message later, k? I'm so glad you updated us. Hug your new puppy and know that we are all here for you!!


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## abbey (Apr 4, 2005)

to you! Congratulations on your new pup & even though it may have not been the pup you really wanted, I'm sure you are going to fall completely in love with your new pup. I would have loved to had a pup from Chalet (which is only about 3 hrs from me), but it was more than my husband would've allowed me to spend. Abbey was $800 & she's now worth a million to me!









P.S. My friend got a maltese pup recently & he was 6 lbs at 5 months old & now at a year weighs 8 1/2 lbs but he is still very small to me!









Enjoy your puppy! Maltese at any size are great little furbabies!


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## bellasmommy (May 8, 2005)

Congratualtions on your puppy, I'm so sorry this time has been overshadowed with stress, telling you you "could have" gotten whatever puppy you wanted after the fact is so cruel...I just don't know what to say about that but I'm sure your puppy will bring you joy. Bella's weight fluctuates (just like her mom's







but I find that no one notices and that I actually prefer her a little heavier. She's easier to hold and looks great when she gains a little weight. Now, if someone would just say that about me








I hope your new puppy cheers you up soon


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

I happen to like dogs that look bigger . Teddy my Lhasa is a hefty 20lb's - I pick him up and smooch him just as much as my tiny dogs . Teddy gets LOTS of attention being super sized - he looks even more spectacular in full coat . Congratulations on your new puppy - I hope she brings you many years of joy . Sarah


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

Oh Lisa









You have to stop being so hard on yourself. You made the decision you felt was the best decision, and them telling you you could get any dog you wanted _after_ you got the other dog is nothing more than a ploy to manipulate you and make you doubt yourself. 

Enjoy this new puppy- she sounds like a doll. Maybe sometime down the road you can get the dog of your dreams, or who knows- maybe this new puppy will be the dog you always hoped for. Just because she might be bigger doesn't mean you can treat her the same as you would a tiny dog. Dress her up, put bows in her hair, get a carrier for her, get a stroller, pamper the heck out of her and make her the little diva doggy you always wanted!


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## NONNY (May 21, 2006)

Oh my!







I can assure you that you are going to fall in love with your new little one











When I got my little Chipper, I got the What-in-the-world-was-I-thinking-panic!! I had 2 WHINNNNNING puppies in my kitchen (that were only 6 weeks old) and Izzy and Bruiser, and my daughter was in the hospital. 

Izzy and I were a perfect team, and she hated the puppies. My daughter also went through the this-is-a-bad-decision phase. We were sick over our foolish decision to not only get a puppy, but 2 puppies, with "red flags" everywhere. We finally shared our feelings with each other, and together we decided to keep the puppies 6 weeks, and if we couldn't handle them in our lives, then we would sell them. Of course, now we laugh at our "puppy-blues". We can't imagine our lives without Chipper and Bunny.



All four of them have different personalities.....and are so unique.....and it's so easy to love them all. They aren't show puppies and it doesn't matter. Chipper has looooong legs and Bunny has shhhhhort legs (and an open fontanel). Bruiser weighs over 9 pounds, Izzy 7-5, Chipper 5, Bunny is 4-7. Chipper is the largest and tallest!! Izzy is the shortest and Bunny is the longest. Of course, Bruiser is the fattest. 



You, my dear, IMHO have the puppy blues. A few more puppy kisses, getting your toes attacked, some shredded paper, and some puddles in the floor......and you will be fine.


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Lisa,

Maybe this is best as she will not remind you as much of Star. I'm a firm believer that what I end up with is what is meant to be.









Size isn't all that important, and you never really know how big or little they will end up at such a young age.

My Lacie is 5.5 lbs fully grown. She is very dainty, has a baby doll face and is very, very girlie.

Tilly, who is now 6 months old, was rescued from a pet store. I hadn't meant it to happen, but she was skin and bones and so little and helpless that I just couldn't leave her there. Tilly was spayed last week and weighted 6.4 lbs at 6 months and I know that she's still growing. Her paws, her nose, her head are all bigger than Lacie's and Tilly doesn't have that girlie girl, little baby doll look that I love.









BUT with that said, Tilly is the sweetest, most loving, dog I've had in ages. Lacie is a little snob -- and yes, I know I helped make her that way, but Tilly is just a gentle sole and very, very sweet. I wouldn't trade her for the world, even though she's not my ideal Maltese in the looks department (even though everyone else thinks she's soooooooooooo cute) and even though she's going to be a MOOSE. I swear she is.









What you did is what was meant to be. Have fun with the little one. What have you named her? Remember, she will give you unconditional love no matter how big or little you are.


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## cindy6755 (Mar 20, 2005)

Cindy


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

My take on it is that if you can afford it, and it will not cause financial burden on the family, then why the heck not??? Really, I think the others involved are being selfish if mom can't have something that she will enjoy. 

I know how moms are--I've been one for 8 years now. I have two wonderful girls. I've given up everything for them--my career, graduate school (that my employer paid for) and those are only a FEW things--you know how a mother's life (a good mother, that is) is CONSTANT sacrifice. I never ask for anything in return--except for respect, that is. The job of a mother is the toughest job on the earth.

We originally got our malt "for the kids." I had no idea how I would fall for these little guys--or how they would really become "my" dog, and not the kids! But I think it's one of the best things I've done for myself. I'm so glad I did it. 

The LEAST you deserve is a dog, for crying out loud. If it causes alot of strife, I guess you'll have to make the choice. But I'll say it again--I think "they" are the ones being selfish. I say stick to your guns.


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## Furbabymom (Dec 17, 2004)

Hugs, Susan, Skeeter, Sassy, Panda & Lexi</span></span>




</span>

-----------------------------------------------------
starry' date='Dec 18 2006, 04:33 PM' post='304810']


> Lisa has been on SM several time in the past few days. I'm worried about her.
> 
> Lisa please post and tell us what happened. We're here for you either way. Let us be your support system......
> 
> ...


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## phesty (May 30, 2006)

Congratulations on your new puppy!!!!























What is her name? When do we get to see pictures?

I can definitely relate. I was ecstatic to finally get permission to get a dog (from my parents who I live with), but then cried for two days after I got Josie. I was very close to driving her back to the kennel and getting my money back for over a week. I had ten days to make that decision, and I wavered back and forth for the entire ten days. My mom convinced me that I was making the right decision to keep Josie and I can't thank her enough!

My Josie is the light of my life! (Of course, right now she's whining at me incessantly, but it's love...) I can't imagine my life without my little furball! I'm getting tears in my eyes thinking about how my life would be different if I had decided to take her back. 

You'll get through this time and bond with your new puppy. In the end, I'm certain that this will turn out to be a wonderful thing for you, and your puppy!

Oh, and don't ever think about not posting here again! I don't wanna hear that kind of talk!!! Even though we don't know each other well, we're all friends here and we'll support you regardless!


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## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

Thank you all for so much support about my decision and feelings.






















So much unconditional love and understanding to be here for me makes me wonder if everyone here is part doggy.








I read and read more than once all you have told me about your dogs, size and circumstances when you got them and actually felt better. 
That was very nice for you to explain your dogs sizes/weights and make me realize a few pounds should not make loveing them any different..
Driving today
( to get my Lhasa's eye medicince which she is a day behind on







I could hardly concentrate on this holiday traffic and dinner I am now suppose to host at my house







)as I was thinking about ALL the advice everyone gave me before and after my decision.
How hard it was but something from all your posts was helpful.
Yes I should stop beating myself up, it is not helping anything here and my family really just wants me to be happy. My husband is really a good person and deals with alll the bills and drama as I sit around taking lunch to my dtr if she needs it and not washing clothes enough or keeping a tidyer house. Which he never complains about. 
So any blame should go to me if I'm unhappy and can't make a decision. 
I really have been fortunate so as the song goes "You may not have what you want but you have what you need,"








My new little ones name is "Holly" bc I wanted a name that was Christmasy and pretty like she is.








She is very sweet and attached to me,and so hard to put her in her gated area at night bc she cries but I'm afraid she may fall off the bed for now and we all may get better sleep this way. At least I know Dayzie does, as she always sleeps right next to me and this is our time together.








I must be happy as my dtr went thru major spine surgery and is straight and tall, my other is happy and goes to school I get to do pretty much what I want and have been many places in the world and my sweet Dayzie is here too.
So thank you all for being so wonderful when I was really feeling like it was the end and I never felt so depressed and upset over something that's not the end of the world and am lucky to have a litttle one who loves me. I am not perfect either I told her and then hugged her. Maybe it was meant to be as many people have perhaps passed on a puppy and wished or wondered if it was right.
Thank you all again my dear friends for the many hugs and advice...
p.s.I will try and get some tech help here so I can post my Holly on a new thread.


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## Boobookit (Dec 3, 2005)

*Yes, you have the puppy blues, all right!! If is such a little word with a lot of meaning.....You don't know what that other puppy would have turned out to be, and now you have one that most likely already loves you! Enjoy what you have...because I bet she turns into exactly what you wished for.*

*I always say, "there are no accidents" so there is a reason why this little girl came into your life. I wanted a little girl so bad for a companion for my Pacino. Along came 10 pound Ralphie from the rescue. I couldn't be more happier!! He is the sweetest little boy, with the most wonderful disposition and has become a wonderful companion for my 7 pound Pacino. We had the same fears, as a matter of fact, I posted them on here. Would I be doing Pacino an injustice because he was the top furbutt, would he be jealous, etc. and of course right when we got him the first day I questioned myself, the perverbial, "did we do the right thing?"*

*Well let me answer the thought right now, YES, oh, yes, we did the right thing. Do we give Pacino less love?? Of course not but it is truly amazing how much more love we have now for the two of them.....just when you thought you couldn't love any more then you already do...out pops more!!*

*Do we pay more attention to Ralphie and less to Pacino....NO, absolutely not...if parents felt like that about their skin kids every woman would only have one child! Does Pacino get jealous...of course once in a while I believe he does and so does Ralphie...but so do skin kids, and these are our "boys."*

*So enjoy your new little girl, congratulations and I only have one more thing to say, and that is.....*

*where are the pics and what is her name???????????????????????????*

*Enjoy,*

*Marie, Pacino & Ralphie*


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## msmagnolia (Sep 8, 2004)

Lisa, 
First of all, thank you for posting. We really have been worried about you. 

The thing is that no one here knows about the status of your finances - no one but you and your husband. You should not feel bad for weighing all the options and trying to make a decision that would be best for your whole family. While it may be too bad that they all fell in line when it was too late, maybe your little Holly really needed you. I love the name, by the way!!!! And, maybe she'll be a little bigger, and maybe she won't. Either way I hope she will be healthy and I hope she will worm her way right into your heart. 

Maybe this is kind of like the family that has 4 boys and tries one more time for the girl. They don't get her and they are a little disappointed, but they don't love that new littlle boy any less.....Don't feel guilty about having second thoughts. Some of that may be nervousness about another malt after all that you went through with Starry. Give yourself time.


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## thelittlepet (Apr 18, 2006)

At ten pounds my yorkie is the prissest of all my dogs. she stays clean and tidy, keeps her bow in and is the most graceful thing I have ever seen. While I expected her to be smaller, i adore her size now. so much more to cuddle, she loves long walks, and an extra bonus, the clothes are always left in her size. She is a little diva and even though she is bigger, she is sturdy and healthy and that is all that matters. My maltese were all around that size at 12 weeks and are right at standard at 13 months. Lily is 5 ish lbs and Bentley is 6 ish lbs. Perfect. Congrats and we can't wait to see pictures
Aimee


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## starry (Sep 4, 2006)

> Hugs, Susan, Skeeter, Sassy, Panda & Lexi</span>
> 
> Oh Susan, I am so sorry about your loss and how you weren't able to lean on everyone here for some support..
> 
> ...


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I think you will be fine about your new puppy as soon as you get over the stressful situation that surrounded her homecoming.She may not be your first choice but she could very well be your best choice. Congrats & best wishes on your new baby girl & best wishes for a long & happy future with her.


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## jasmyne's mom (Dec 2, 2006)

I'm fairly new here and have never posted but felt empathy for your situation. I've been wanting a new puppy for a couple of years (my last dog died about 4 years ago - old age) and my husband has said absolutely not. Well I finally decided this year for my 40th birthday I was getting one! He finally said get one but it will be yours, not mine. I dont' want anything to do with it. I searched and searched, finally found one. I've always wanted a Maltese! So cute and fluffy and white...aaaahhhhh. I even visited her a week after she was born, became attached and fell in love. Well, we found out at 4 weeks she was blind! Broke my heart! I felt guilty for thinking about not taking her since she was 'not exactly what I wanted'. But I went to see her again and I still loved her and decided I didn't care if she could see or not. My husband has had a total turn around since I brought her home. He doesn't like to admit he likes her though







I ended up having to take her at 8 weeks old but she has done great! Even though she is blind, no one has told her and she doesn't know any different. She's absolutely perfect to me! I've been praying about you and I know God will work things out great for you!

Judie and sweet baby Jasmyne


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## Deanna (Jan 14, 2005)

> I'm fairly new here and have never posted but felt empathy for your situation. I've been wanting a new puppy for a couple of years (my last dog died about 4 years ago - old age) and my husband has said absolutely not. Well I finally decided this year for my 40th birthday I was getting one! He finally said get one but it will be yours, not mine. I dont' want anything to do with it. I searched and searched, finally found one. I've always wanted a Maltese! So cute and fluffy and white...aaaahhhhh. I even visited her a week after she was born, became attached and fell in love. Well, we found out at 4 weeks she was blind! Broke my heart! I felt guilty for thinking about not taking her since she was 'not exactly what I wanted'. But I went to see her again and I still loved her and decided I didn't care if she could see or not. My husband has had a total turn around since I brought her home. He doesn't like to admit he likes her though
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Jasmyne sounds like a doll! I hope you will post an introduction to tell us more about you and your baby, and post pics!


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## jasmyne's mom (Dec 2, 2006)

> > index.php?act=findpost&pid=305812
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'll post pics and introduce Jasmyne and myself when I figure out my new digital camera! I just got it yesterday.


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## Elly B. (Oct 27, 2006)

CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW PUPPY!!!!!

An awful lot of circumstance conspired to make *this* puppy come home with you instead of the other one. I'm sure you were meant to have this puppy and both of you will have a happy and rewarding time together!!

You got the puppy, YOU WON! Giving a man a 'little victory' to overcome his pride is one good way to keep him from being bitter about the pup.


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