# Family Dillema



## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

So my middle daughter's friend's uncle has a little 6 month old malti-poo at their home. They somehow ended up with it after the poor little thing has been at 3 homes in the 6 months of his life, each time getting a new name.

My daughter saw him yesterday and is practically in tears !!!!!!!!!!! :smcry: 

She wants to bring him home - the uncle was watching him and the owners don't want him, neither does the uncle as they have larger dogs outside.

My daughter said he's a bit butter scotch in colour, about the size of Max at 6 months, has not been neutered.

She said if she didn't take him - they were going to take him to the shelter.

Well you all know that if I was to get another dog - it was going to be a girl ... 

I feel sorry for the poor thing ...I don't want him going to the shelter - am I supposed to give in and take this pitiful thing in ??

Ok big mistake ... I told her to bring him home tomorrow so I can see what he looked like, she is describing him to me but he sounds more like a poodle than a malt.

This daughter always has a camera on hand - can u believe this time she didn't even take pics of this Odie or whatever his name is this week.

She said she will work and pay for his shots and neutering - sureeeeeeeeeeeee !!!

What am I supposed to do ... oh and she said that she wil give him a bath - (in our house) before I come home so he looks and smells pretty ... (rolling eyes ...sucker Lina) ..

To be continued ...

P.S. DH said no but he's said that about our first malt too ... 4 women in the house - he's a pushover.


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

Stay strong Lina - if you really aren't ready for another, and if you really have your heart set on a little girl if one day you are ready. I know, it's easy to say.

What about a compromise? - do you think you would be able to foster this little guy until a suitable home can be found? I don't know if I could foster - I'd probably get too attached, and I don't have skin-kids to contend with either??? Dunno, hard one. Good luck my friend :grouphug:


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

You know me - I'd take it in . Shelters are full to overflowing at this time of year , I can't bear the thought of another dog in one . Sarah


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

oh no! Maybe you can turn him over to rescue? That's not completely cruel or unreasonable. You KNOW he'd wind up with a good home! I know how you feel, it's such a hard decision. But you (and your girls) want a female to fuss over, soo.... 

Boy am I glad I'm not in your shoes!


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## luvmyfurbaby (Feb 11, 2007)

Keep him keep him keep him!!!! I'm a push over!!! Any animal my kids bring home I always keep or foster!!! I remember my son brought home a baby bird one day that fell from it's nest. We looked and looked and couldn't find the nest or mother. So I nursed it and found a bird rescue 30 minutes away the next day. I thought oh a blue jay or something when I get to the rescue they say it's one of those ugly black birds that always hang out. Oh well at least he was safe!!!


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## LitGal (May 15, 2007)

You are in a tough position. If it were me, once the little guy entered my home (just to look at him  ), it would all be over and that little pup would find himself with a mommy.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Lina, I was like you when my daughter was younger. When I got a dog, it was the one she wanted. But inevitably, you get attached, fall in love and you care for them for years and years - there's nothing wrong with that of course. But my daughter is now grown and gone and for the first time in my life I got what I always wanted....a maltese. Then I liked him so much I decided to get another one. It's so wonderful to be able to get what you actually want.....and if you ask me, you should get what YOU want. But....alas....because you're like me....you'll probably end up taking him in :bysmilie: and life will go on. 

Here's another thought.... three isn't any harder than two. I still think you should get the little girl you always wanted. Why not? Life is short, don't deprive yourself.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

It's a tough decision but your post made me laugh. Especially DH with 4 women in the house. The poor guy must have a tough time. But joking apart, if not helping with money, would your daughter at least help with care ? I like also the idea about fostering him until a good home could be found.


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

This poor little guy has had it rough for such a young pup. If you really don't want to take him, I agree with the suggestion of fostering him, even if it's temporary. Then again, who knows how you'll react when you see him. And, remember that Paula makes beautiful harness vests for boys.    

It's not an easy decision, Lina. Go with your heart.


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

I agree with everyone about at least taking him in for now--he sounds terribly neglected. And then you can take it from there. At least he will out of those circumstances, you know?

btw, you have raised a very kind-hearted daughter for her heart to go out to him like that. Yes, I know kids have good intentions but don't always follow up with the day-to-day responsibilities, but I applaud you for raising a sensitive girl who knows when to step in and help out.


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

> Lina, I was like you when my daughter was younger. When I got a dog, it was the one she wanted. But inevitably, you get attached, fall in love and you care for them for years and years - there's nothing wrong with that of course. But my daughter is now grown and gone and for the first time in my life I got what I always wanted....a maltese. Then I liked him so much I decided to get another one. It's so wonderful to be able to get what you actually want.....and if you ask me, you should get what YOU want. But....alas....because you're like me....you'll probably end up taking him in :bysmilie: and life will go on.
> 
> Here's another thought.... three isn't any harder than two. I still think you should get the little girl you always wanted. Why not? Life is short, don't deprive yourself.[/B]



This is exactly how I feel. We had the "fostering" discussion at our house a couple of days ago. I get too attached to be able to do this. I'd probably take this poor baby in, and THEN get a little girl, too.

Be proud of your daughter for her caring heart.


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## CrystalAndZoe (Jul 11, 2006)

Well I always said I wanted another girl if I ever got a second Malt. Then I met Jett and fell head over heels IN LOVE!! And I did meet other girls who were available for adoption, but kept my head in it, not my heart. I watched to see how Zoe responded them and they to Zoe. And I was able to say no three times over the course of maybe 8 months. And these were all girls. But then I met Jett. And he and Zoe did so well at their first meeting. "So well" meaning they were curious about each other but then basically ignored each other LOL!! But much better that then growling and snapping like the other 3 did. And I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to believe all the "rumors" of how boys are more affectionate than girls. So think with your head first, your heart second, and you will know if this baby is meant to be a part of your family. Good luck!!


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Thanks for all the lovely responses ladies.

Odie or whoever he is will be coming here this afternoon.

I like the idea of temporarily taking him in until I find a forever home for him. I can always drop him off on Deb's doorstep .. :w00t: (joke) ... !!! Shehas so many - I don't think she'll notice - even LBB won't see the difference.

Honestly, if I was going to take a male - Winter was a cute one just sitting there at Deb's waiting for a home :smcry: 

I will keep you posted on what happens this evening - and maybe some pictures.

My daughters take on this ... Max has so much shampoo and dog food - it's about time he shared some of it ... (like it ends with dog food and shampoo) :smstarz: 

Thanks for the kind words about my daughter -they're really good girls, all three and they are softies when it comes to animals - I appreciate it.

Although the oldest one is almost 20 - they still beg for "mommy and me" days with me - just one on one - shopping and lunch. They love it and are envious when it's not their day ... lol


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

That is quiet a dillema. I had the chance to adopt another male malt a couple of yrs ago. Like you I wanted my next one to be a girl. Not because I preferred girls, I just had this instinct that Boo would be more accepting of a female.And of course I wanted to do the pretty dress & bow thing. :brownbag: I was lucky though, nobody was forcing me to meet the little male malt. I would have been in real trouble then as I would never have been able to refuse him once I met him. I agree with everyone else, maybe you can take him in & find him the right home that he deserves. Cudos to your daughter for having such a caring heart.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

Lina ~

I love your daughters!!

Yes, take him in. Don't let him go to the shelter.

We'll work it out. Important thing is to get this little one to the safety of your home. 

Just let me know what you want to do. If you decide to temporary foster, maybe we could get him on NMR's site.

Not to mention, I can always make room at my house. Billy, nor I, would know the difference ~ LOL


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## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

Lina,


a.... we are about be "short" of dogs over this way... :smpullhair: :HistericalSmiley:


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## gibbert (Jan 13, 2005)

I think if I were in your position, I would probably decide to take him in until he was able to find a good, loving permanent (finally) home. Good luck with your decision!


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

> Lina,
> 
> 
> a.... we are about be "short" of dogs over this way... :smpullhair: :HistericalSmiley:[/B]



Hmmmm it's a 6 hour drive to Arizona ???
I have friends in Fountain Hills - let me see if they want me and Odie (name of the month) ... to visit ..


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## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

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just down the street from us... :blush:


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## Baby Gizmo (Apr 18, 2005)

I know how you feel I have been there done that too. Not long ago my son brought home a beautiful chocolate lab mixed from the shelter. We kept her until right before Christmas. He promised that he would take care of her and all the good things that go along with taking care of the dog. Well, I am a sucker and bought all kinds of things to take care of the dog such as a dog house, toys, food and a line for to run on she had the run of the side yard. I got stuck taking care of her and my son hardly paid attention to her. She tore up my flower bed, chewed up my decorative down spout cover, chewed up my table stand and dug huge holes in my yard. One day I felt sorry for her so I let her loose and she jeted and I couldn't catch her. I chased her several blocks from the house screaming ever breath and she just kept going I finally gave up and went home and she followed me. My poor neighbor heard me and come out and got her for me. I am so glad that I don't live directly in town or she probably would have been history. I posted at work and other places in town if anyone wanted a dog that I was giving her away. My poor neighbor that lives across from me seen it and took her. He has a sheep dog and a chihua and now the lab. She is in a fenced in yard and I visit her almost every day. I hated to give her away but I couldn't take it anymore. I still help buy food for her, take her for walks and I am paying for half of her being spayed in a couple of weeks. I guess I feel guilty that I gave her away and the worst thing is when I came home from work is that she would whine and bark at me when I got out of the car.
You may want to think about it seriously unless you are willing to take care of the pup yourself.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

So?? How'd it go??


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

Ok so Nicole and her friends come home after me carrying this ever-so-pitiful dog with them. He was cute - a bit taller and longer than Max but really skinny -Max is a fatso compared to him.

to go out immediately to the back yard and he peed ... he crouched instead of lifting his leg so I know he is still a baby - a big baby too !!

Anyway - he then started drinking the pool water ... uhhh oohhh - we got him a bowl of water and I'm telling you - this dog did not stop to breath - he almost drank the whole bowl. :new_shocked: 

I gave him a bath and blow dried him, he didn't have fleas but they now tell me he's never had any of his puppy shots - none :new_shocked: 

Then he started acting alpha over Max, he was trying to initiate play and growl and bark at Max ... Max hangs his head down and starts salivating again ... his whole beard was wet - this is the second time I noticed this -the first time was at Debs.

So I give Max treats and special attention - Max is so nervous - he throws up his treats ..poor Max..

Anyway -my husband comes home and sees Max in his emo mode and feels sorry for Max and says this is going to mess Max up ...

Then I had an idea ... my neighbour lost their baby to drowing in their backyard pool when he was being watched by the grandmother - he somehow got out and she thought he was inside - very long sad story .. my poor neighbour .. her two daughters one who is 10 and one who is 7 really wanted a dog and the mother has been depressed for the past two years over the baby's death .. I took Odie/Benji over to her and asked if she would like him .. I know they were looking into Maltipoos ... she fell madly in love with him and the kids were jumping up and down with excitement.

She's a first time dog owner - so we came back home I gave her a whole lot of stuff she will need.

Tomorrow we are going to the vet and get his shots and then he can be groomed. Next will be the nutering.

I will be basically helping her all I can - he'll just be living there.

She had to close her mortgage business after the bad market crash here so she is home.

He's a really cute dog, but Max is destined to be an only child I think.

I hope these girls find happiness and they can find lots of laughter after losing their 15 month old baby brother.

I took one pic of Benji (that's what the girls want to call him)

I also wanted to add that my daughter didn't want to let it go to another home, she started crying and taking him to her room .. saying he can't possibly go to a 5th home and get another name, she kept saying I promised I'd take good care of him. It was a bit sad especially knowing he's had so many homes .. there's really nothing wrong at all with him, just hasn't found the right home.. poor baby - I hope he is happy and I did the right thing.


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## Suz & the Fluffs (Mar 11, 2006)

Awww sounds like there may be a happy ending!!! :biggrin: I hope everything works out for "Benji". :biggrin:


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## TheButtercup (Mar 3, 2005)

:wub: looooooooooook at that faaaaaaaaaaaaace!!! omg! how does someone decide, "meh. you can have him." just like that?!?!?!? :smilie_tischkante: 

poor max. but yay benji!


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

> Awww sounds like there may be a happy ending!!! :biggrin: I hope everything works out for "Benji". :biggrin:[/B]



I agree with Susan, things are sounding good for the little/big 'Benji'. Lina you are going above & beyond with your offer to help with costs & food etc! Good for you!!! :aktion033:


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

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Jac - I know her and her husband were in the mortgage company - they are dropping like flies- the company the husband works for has gotten rid of 3000 people and they are working on skeleton staff - his job could go any day now but they are positive.

I know Xmas was tight for them this year so I gave her a card with $100 in to buy her kids whatever they wanted ... she returned it to me today with a really beautiful card saying we are like family and she couldn't possibly take it .
When she came over to pick up stuff for Benji - the money and card was still on the counter .. I said we can now use this for his shots. 
Basically he needs an exam and shots, a hair cut and somewhere down the road neutering ... but that can wait a couple of months, I don't want to overwhelm them. I may go to target and buy him some shampoo and stuff

I gave her a wicker wash basket and put a pillow inside, a Blue's clues fleece blankie, 2 bowels - some of Max's dog food - although it's adult food - I said if he doesn't eat it - we may need to boil some chicken - my daughter was told he doesn't eat much .. unlike our fat boy !!! And a few of Max's toys - he has soooo many he won't even notice it.


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

With a face like that - you would have had to pry him from my clingy fingers  I am glad you found him a loving home so fast , I hope they prove to be better owners than the last few . Sarah


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## triste (Aug 30, 2004)

He has some of the saddest looking eyes I have ever see :new_shocked: I hope everything works out for Odie/Benji!


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

:aktion033: Sounds like a perfect ending!!! :aktion033: I'll cross my fingers everything works out.


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## Ricky & Lucy's Mom (Nov 7, 2007)

Sounds like this was meant to be. Please keep us posted on how this baby fares. Statistics indicate that after this many pass offs, a dog is forever damaged, but I believe in the power of love. I've seen it...


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## Nissa Fiona (Nov 4, 2007)

What a beautiful ending to a sad story! I feel so badly for your neighbors for losing their son :smcry: How horrible for them and the grandmother to have that happen while she was watching him.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

You are such a sweetheart! you've done the right thing, once the shots and neutering are done most pups aren't that expensive for the basics.


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

He sure is a cutiepie. I'm glad you found him a good home & I pray it's his best & forever home.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

This is awesome!! Wow!! What a face. Is he ever cute :wub: 

I'm Henry's 5th home. I tell ya, you would think he's been here all along. 

One thing though. I wouldn't wait a couple months to get Benji neutered. He may start "lifting" and marking. This is why I'm Henry's 5th home. 

I'll certainly pitch in for the neutering :aktion033: :aktion033: 

Good job, girls!!!


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Benji is adorable. I agree, he does have sad eyes, but that will soon change. :grouphug: Please keep us updated on him, Lina. You have such a good heart. And how perfect for your neighbors. Poor Max, though - at least he's passive about being an only child. Bonnie terrorizes any dog that crosses her door...just ask Kosmo. :brownbag: :brownbag: :brownbag:


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## lillady (Jan 25, 2007)

What a great thing you're doing. I hope everything works out for Benji! :aktion033: He is so very cute :wub: 

And yep Linda-I don't think there are any second dogs in your future with Bonnie :HistericalSmiley:


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

> Benji is adorable. I agree, he does have sad eyes, but that will soon change. :grouphug: Please keep us updated on him, Lina. You have such a good heart. And how perfect for your neighbors. Poor Max, though - at least he's passive about being an only child. Bonnie terrorizes any dog that crosses her door...just ask Kosmo. :brownbag: :brownbag: :brownbag:[/B]



I still can't picture sweet little Bonnie "on the attack" ~ LOL

I'll bet she would get along great with my Jops and Franny. But would sure kick Henry's and LBB's butts.


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

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Oh, she'd be fine in your house, Deb. It's just when someone comes into hers. In fact, she'd probably ignore your babies and find her spot on the couch (which may or may not already belong to a member of your family! :new_shocked: ).

She was terrible. I am ashamed of her. :brownbag: She even lunged at poor Kos, and all he wanted to do was say hi to her.


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

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LOL ~ Bonnie's a BEAST :smrofl: :smrofl: 

The only problem, at my house, is you cannot ignore LBB. He won't go away. :w00t:


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

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Oh, she'd be fine in your house, Deb. It's just when someone comes into hers. In fact, she'd probably ignore your babies and find her spot on the couch (which may or may not already belong to a member of your family! :new_shocked: ).

She was terrible. I am ashamed of her. :brownbag: She even lunged at poor Kos, and all he wanted to do was say hi to her.
[/B][/QUOTE]


LOL ~ Bonnie's a BEAST :smrofl: :smrofl: 

The only problem, at my house, is you cannot ignore LBB. He won't go away. :w00t: 
[/B][/QUOTE]


As long as he doesn't :hump: :hump: :hump: . Bonnie will immediately tell him that she doesn't :hump: :hump: unless he buys her dinner.  (Unlike her mother - oh, god, I'm cracking myself up again. :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl: :smrofl: )


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

Oh I hope it works out for this new family!! What hard times they must have had. Tell your neighbor she better join SM because there are a lot of aunites and uncles wanting to know how her new baby is doing!


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## Katkoota (Feb 18, 2006)

I wish this little guy all the best with his new family and hope it become the last home he moves-in to and the last name he gets to be called



> I also wanted to add that my daughter didn't want to let it go to another home[/B]


awweee...just reminded me of me not wanting for Picasso to go  that must be the hardest part

but, good job to your daughter for bringing the little one in :aktion033:


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## Lennabella (Mar 29, 2007)

More news on Benjie - 

That's his name now ...

Last night he snuggled up to the husband who was really sceptical about getting him. Awwww Benji fell asleep squished right against hip.

He has done #1 and #2 outside so far .. they put him in the laundry room with his bed and pee pads, he was wimpering a bit but he settled down.

I went to Target and bought him some cool stuff and when I went to drop it off right now, the aunt was visiting with her two small children.

Wellllllllllllllll the personality change on this dog is night and day. He was happy, running around after the kids, jumping excited and really listening if you gave him a command.

If you say sit - he does and doesn't get up.

He has started chewing some grass and we tried to get him to stop but he kept doing it - only problem.

My daughter told me that if he sees the front door open - he'll bolt ... we got that down as well, before we open the door - we tell him to sit - he does and doesn't move - he's sooooo cute.

He's getting his first round of puppy shots tomorrow. Grooming Thursday.

The neutering can wait a couple of months - he's still not lifting his leg. It's going to cost $230.00 I will most likely pay for half if she accepts.

After that it will just be some maintenance .. rabies and registering him with the city - minor stuff.

I bought him food, he apparently doesn't eat - but this dog has been eating like there is no tomorrow.

I can't remember how much he should eat cause Max eats when he wants - no portions. I am sure the vet tomorrow will answer these questions.

He now owns his own stuff - a collar, leash, shampoo .. poor thing - all he came with was a Xmas sweater and an elastic band in his hair.

He is very happy and they are too !!!

So am I ... :smheat: 

If anyone wants to add some advise - please feel free.


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## dogloverx3 (Apr 14, 2006)

You might get them to put a baby gate in front of the door - most rescues attempt the run away in their first weeks ( Teddy was a MAJOR bolter ) . The only problem rescue dogs have , is their former owners - who usually did not deserve a pet in the first place . Sarah


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

I am SO happy for everyone! I am so happy that there is a beatiful ending to such a sad story. Good for you Lina for finding this poor little guy a home. :grouphug:


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## CrystalAndZoe (Jul 11, 2006)

I love happy endings!! I sure hope you keep us updated on this little guy! What a wonderful thing you have done. And maybe your daughters won't be too sad since he is right next door. They can always babysit!


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