# Stay command



## mrsmediauph (Feb 19, 2013)

Lily completed her 6 week basic dog training classes. Because of the ice, snow etc. the 6 week class actually took around 12 weeks to get through. I think lack of consistency on my husband and my part and classes being cancelled it wasn't really worth the money. Lily did learn "sit", "down - lay down" and "come". :thumbsup: HOWEVER - when Lily is excited or distracted all bets are off. :blush:

Saturday John was leaving to go to Home Depot. I was sitting on the sofa talking on the phone with my sister. When I leave for work in the morning I tell Lily to "stay" and she jumps up on the end table and watches me leave from the window. :aktion033: John was trying to get out the door telling Lily to "stay" and she was running around like a lunatic trying to get out the door. Well John opens up the front door and Lily takes off down the front walk and down the sidewalk running three house down. :smcry: Of course John chases her and she runs further away. I dropped the phone, ran to the kitchen and grabbed her turkey bacon from the fridge and went raising outside. I yelled as loud as I could "Lily come (command from doggy school) and showed her the bacon. She came running back and John grabbed her. 

I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack. I was so scared I was shaking. :crying 2: We have around a foot of snow on the ground and it was hard to see her with all the piles of snow everywhere. Luckily we live on a dead end street and there isn't a lot of traffic.

I need to train her to stay when we open up the front door. It scares me to death the thought of her running out again. I told Lily how much she scared me and she got a time out in her crate. 

Looking for suggestions and help. Thank you. Wanda and Lily


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Wanda - I can only imagine. My heart stopped just reading your post. :w00t: So glad that what could have been a tragedy was averted.
I'm not sure what others do but I taught Tyler a key phrase when he was quite young and he knows this is that cue that I'm going out and will be back. He never jumps around, tries to dart out the door or anything. I tell him "Mommy will be home soon." Same phrase every time I leave (and my DH does Daddy will be home soon) and Tyler either just looks up at me (with a sad look of course) or walks over to his bed. He doesn't cry or freak out when I leave. It's the phrase that means he's safe and I'll be back. You can probably keep working on the stay command with the treat or if Lily likes any of the "get a treat out toys" like a Kong or interactive toy, give one to her when you go out the door AND say the key phrase. You can work on it by just going out for small intervals; even 5-10-15 minutes until she gets that she's not supposed to rush the door. But make sure that you and your DH are consistent.


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Wanda, that must have been so scary. Great thinking on your part to use a recall command. Often running after them will only make them run away faster. 

You could practice the wait command when going through doors, any door. The point is to reach them they are not allowed through doors till you tell them it's OK to. This only applies to closed doors that you open for them of course. 

I started teaching it by asking them to sit right behind the door (on leash). Then you say wait and open the door veryyyy slowly. If they start getting up say 'eh eh' and close the door. Soon they will understand they need to stay in a sit. Work up to a point where you go through the door first, then say 'OK' and that's when they can come out. 

Mine are not a 100% there yet, they have run out of doors before me when they get excited at new places, but for the most part they know if I'm opening a new gate or door they go through when I say it's OK to. 

I also agree with Sue about establishing a routine or a command associated for when you leave. 


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

I keep a gate across the area where the front door is. I am glad that all is ok


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Here's the thing... I know how scared you were but "time outs" in a crate are pointless (I say this nicely).

Especially since Lily *came* to you when you called her (even tho she was running down the street).

Man! What a GOOD GIRL! She was running free and when you called for her to come she turned and came! GOOD GIRL!!!!

No matter how much one of mine would scare me if they did that, I'd be doing major praise and happy dance and treats for that one.

All Lily knows is she came, and got put in her crate 

So... next time - just praise the command she listened to the last second. Or she will stop trusting you and stop listening.

For stay:

It will take time and practice. Until she is reliable at it - I'd suggest leashing her when one of you is going out so that you have something to step on just in case.

Use a bed or rug or blanket that will become her "place" to sit when someone is going in and out the door. Have it be far enough that she isn't too close to the door, but close enough she still sees the person leaving.

When your husband is leaving, have her go there, sit, and stay. You stand right by her when he is leaving so you can remind her what she needs to do. Then when he goes, release and treat. You and hubby may need to set an alarm to wake up a little earlier so that his departures are not rushed just in case he needs to wait at the door until Lily is calm and in her place (in case you have to put her back there a few times).

It will take lots of consistency, patience, and practice just like Marie said.

To work on the actual "stay"... Use a leash. You will eventually want a very long leash (I have a black cotton 15' leash I use)... Work on stay, keep it short (a few seconds), release just before you anticipate her breaking, so that she always succeeds.

Gradually work up time and distance.

With mine, I had to start always facing them for stay... and then we worked on my turning to the side, then working on my turning completely around not looking at them.

It takes time, and Grace is not nearly as reliable as Gus, but she is getting there.

And when you are both leaving (or whoever is the last to leave) just send her to her place. If you say "Stay" be sure to give her the release word before you close the door. Otherwise "stay" loses it's meaning....

Just remember this with training: Dogs do not understand punishments or time outs. All those things will do is undermine your bond and trust with each other.... so I'd cut them out all together.

If she messes up, distract her by doing a command she is great at, and then try the other one again. Dogs only want to please us, to gain our love and praise.


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## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

Oh Wanda, how scary! I am glad she is okay. Daisy bolted out the door once too when she was really small and ran down the middle of the street, headed for a busy road. Lucky someone grabbed her for me. I know how you feel - pure panic.

Have you tried training her to go to a "mat" or bed and stay there? We have been working on that with Bunnie, our high energy dog. 
It is a little different from stay. With high energy dogs, when you tell them to stay, you are telling them to just sit there and do nothing, which is hard for them. Bunnie can't do it for long, she just sits there vibrating! When you teach them to go to their mat, it is something positive for them to do.
Here is a link on how to train to go to a mat/bed and stay. 5 Steps to Train Your Dog to ?Go to Place? | Karen Pryor Clicker Training
She will eventually loooove the mat. The goal is to eventually get her to go to it, lie down, and stay there calmly. I would train her to do this in a place when you plan to put it down when you leave the house, far from the door.
When you are leaving the house, you can then put her mat down and she will go to it, and hopefully stay there. Our trainer said to use a special mat or bed for this purpose, not just her usual bed. I have a small crate mat. Don't leave it lying around. Put it away, and take it out for training purposes. We have had good luck with Bunnie going to her mat. When we pull out the mat, she comes running to it, and lies right down. We are still working on getting her to lie there calmly.
Maybe worth a try for Lily.

Whenever I leave the house, I always give mine some baby carrot sticks or little treats to give them something to do as I am leaving. Like Susan, I also say the same thing every time I leave - "see you later" very calmly and just go. They don't usually notice - they are so busy with their treats.


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## mrsmediauph (Feb 19, 2013)

"All Lily knows is she came, and got put in her crate "

Actually she came and got a big hug and a piece of turkey bacon and THEN put in the crate. I'm not an idiot, I know dogs live in the moment and only want to please us. The time out was probably more for me since I was so upset.

I will try your suggestions and thank you.


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## mrsmediauph (Feb 19, 2013)

Kathleen said:


> Oh Wanda, how scary! I am glad she is okay. Daisy bolted out the door once too when she was really small and ran down the middle of the street, headed for a busy road. Lucky someone grabbed her for me. I know how you feel - pure panic.
> 
> Have you tried training her to go to a "mat" or bed and stay there? We have been working on that with Bunnie, our high energy dog.
> It is a little different from stay. With high energy dogs, when you tell them to stay, you are telling them to just sit there and do nothing, which is hard for them. Bunnie can't do it for long, she just sits there vibrating! When you teach them to go to their mat, it is something positive for them to do.
> ...


 
LOVE THIS! :ThankYou::goodpost:

Lily is definitely a high energy dog. I will try this. Thank you again. Wanda


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

mrsmediauph said:


> "All Lily knows is she came, and got put in her crate "
> 
> Actually she came and got a big hug and a piece of turkey bacon and THEN put in the crate. _I'm not an idiot, I know dogs live in the moment and only want to please us._ The time out was probably more for me since I was so upset.
> 
> I will try your suggestions and thank you.



That was harsh.... sorry I responded.

Sheesh.


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## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

Wanda, also, if Lily is, in general, really excited and distracted to the point where she is not listening to you and obeying commands, this book might help. 
The author explains how when dogs are in a highly excited state, they just can't hear the command and can't obey. She writes about training them to be calm. It has helped a lot with Bunnie. 
Not sure if Lily is highly excitable all the time, but just thought I would mention it in case it helps.
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Fired-Up-Frantic-Freaked-Out/dp/0985934921"]Fired Up, Frantic, and Freaked Out: Training the Crazy Dog from Over the Top to Under Control: Laura VanArendonk Baugh: 9780985934927: Amazon.com: Books[/ame]


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## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

Kathleen said:


> Wanda, also, if Lily is, in general, really excited and distracted to the point where she is not listening to you and obeying commands, this book might help.
> The author explains how when dogs are in a highly excited state, they just can't hear the command and can't obey. She writes about training them to be calm. It has helped a lot with Bunnie.
> Not sure if Lily is highly excitable all the time, but just thought I would mention it in case it helps.
> Fired Up, Frantic, and Freaked Out: Training the Crazy Dog from Over the Top to Under Control: Laura VanArendonk Baugh: 9780985934927: Amazon.com: Books



LOVE this book. Very good read for all dog owners. Whether your dog is always excited or not, I'm sure we've all faced situations where we think the dog was so excited he didn't care about treats, or thinking the dog is not food motivated etc. This book really explains what's going on and how to work towards a calm state. 


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## mrsmediauph (Feb 19, 2013)

Kathleen said:


> Wanda, also, if Lily is, in general, really excited and distracted to the point where she is not listening to you and obeying commands, this book might help.
> The author explains how when dogs are in a highly excited state, they just can't hear the command and can't obey. She writes about training them to be calm. It has helped a lot with Bunnie.
> Not sure if Lily is highly excitable all the time, but just thought I would mention it in case it helps.
> Fired Up, Frantic, and Freaked Out: Training the Crazy Dog from Over the Top to Under Control: Laura VanArendonk Baugh: 9780985934927: Amazon.com: Books


 
Just ordered it through Amazon Prime. Very excited to get Lily on the right track. :chili: She is such a sweetie but very excited all the time. :aktion033:


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## mrsmediauph (Feb 19, 2013)

Grace'sMom said:


> That was harsh.... sorry I responded.
> 
> Sheesh.


Sorry. I get defensive where my doggy parenting skills are questioned. I knew putting her in the crate didn't teach her anything. Like I said it was more for me as I was very upset.

Just looking for training advise. Thank you and sorry for being bitchy.


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## Kathleen (Aug 4, 2011)

mrsmediauph said:


> Just ordered it through Amazon Prime. Very excited to get Lily on the right track. :chili: She is such a sweetie but very excited all the time. :aktion033:


Bunnie is the same way! It can be exhausting. It is a good thing they are so cute!


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## Ann Mother (Dec 18, 2013)

Lot if good ideas in these posts. Nothing scares us worse. I'm going teach stay but hard my dog is not food motivated. Always trained our dog not to go out & only way he does is in our arms. When we leave I put him in his crate. But this reinforces the need to train more.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

I always teach my pups the "wait" command...it works for food, playtime if I'm throwing toys for them to chase, and especially for opening doors. We RV, so they are never allowed to step down without my ok (and they're on leash anyway). Mostly I teach them to go down 2 steps and then turn their back so I can pick them up since I don't much like them jumping down the big ones anyway. 

You'll get there, and you're doing the right things to get started. Some learn quicker than others for sure. Georgia is going to be a challenge because she gets easily distracted "oh there's a birdie", "oh another leaf to steal and run with", so I feel your pain, lol! Come is definitely the MOST critical command we can teach them. I start in the house with treats and randomly call them to me with praise and treats at the end. I make them touch my hand when they get to me, then I work on a sit at the end of it. When that's working well, then we go outside and try. If they're too distracted outside a long lead definitely helps! Best of luck with your training and I'm so happy you had a good ending!!!


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## CloudClan (Jan 31, 2007)

mrsmediauph said:


> I need to train her to stay when we open up the front door. It scares me to death the thought of her running out again. I told Lily how much she scared me and she got a time out in her crate.
> 
> Looking for suggestions and help. Thank you. Wanda and Lily


Someone else raised this point, but I think it is a very important one for everyone to hear. DO NOT EVER punish a dog that returns to you. So please do not put her in time out for scaring you. The last thing she did was return to you on recall, that should be rewarded no matter what it took to get her there. 

The recall/come command is life-saving, as you learned here. She needs to do it consistently every single time. If you punish her after returning all you do is reinforce that she should not come. 

Also, we should never ask a dog to come for things they do not like such as nail trimming, baths or such. (I can be bad about this).

As for the stay command. Stays are tough for dogs and should be taught in increments. They need to learn time, duration and distance in pieces. I am sure she has not had enough practice from a 6 week course to give her the ability to hold a stay while someone is going out the door. 

Honestly, I treat, stay and wait differently. To me Stay means stay there and do not move until I come back to you (not what you want when you are leaving the house). Wait means, stop where you are, and don't move until we do something else. 

So glad your little one is ok. And keep up the training.


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## lydiatug (Feb 21, 2012)

:goodpost: This really is a great post. Very clear & concise! 



CloudClan said:


> Someone else raised this point, but I think it is a very important one for everyone to hear. DO NOT EVER punish a dog that returns to you. So please do not put her in time out for scaring you. The last thing she did was return to you on recall, that should be rewarded no matter what it took to get her there.
> 
> The recall/come command is life-saving, as you learned here. She needs to do it consistently every single time. If you punish her after returning all you do is reinforce that she should not come.
> 
> ...


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## Ann Mother (Dec 18, 2013)

Ditto CloudClan


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## LovelyLily (Mar 26, 2013)

CloudClan, thank you for the great advice about never using the "come" command to have them come to us for thing they do not like (nail trimming, etc.) Never thought of that. Thanks!

Wanda, my year old malt (also named Lily) never showed interest in running for the door when I or anyone else leaves, so I generally take it for granted she will not run to the door. Two weeks ago though I had a shocker of an experience. Just as I opened the door to leave I was surprised to see the mailman on the other side of the screen door, let out a little "oh" that was more than enough to motivate my Lily to run like lightening out the door to "protect" me from the intruder! She was SO fast and totally took me by surprise. Fortunately she didn't get further than the porch before I was able to lure her back in with the promise of a treat. 

She always thinks she has to protect me from intruders, and all might have been okay if I had not given that little surprised gasp when the mailman surprised me. 

Make me be more careful when I am leaving anymore, though.

Linda


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## SammieMom (Nov 13, 2010)

CloudClan said:


> Someone else raised this point, but I think it is a very important one for everyone to hear. DO NOT EVER punish a dog that returns to you. So please do not put her in time out for scaring you. The last thing she did was return to you on recall, that should be rewarded no matter what it took to get her there.
> 
> The recall/come command is life-saving, as you learned here. She needs to do it consistently every single time. If you punish her after returning all you do is reinforce that she should not come.
> 
> ...


:ThankYou::goodpost:


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