# Behavioral Question



## Ant Nay (Mar 21, 2005)

Hello everyone, I wanted to see if someone can give me some insight into what they think is going on with me and my new little guy

My wife and I have had Oscar for about three weeks, he is 10 weeks old and we both decided to get this dog because of a few reasons one big reason is because he is suppose to be a great pack dog and likes to be around us. Here is the situation; when my wife is in the room Oscar ONLY wants to be near her, he cries for her when she is out of the room, if we are on the bed or the couch he wants hardly anything to do with me. I am going to give you some background. I am the one who has to this point “disciplined” him when he bites and is behaving badly, and how I do that is by saying “no” and redirecting him to a toy if he is chewing on something he should not be or if he is biting a shoe or pants lets or bed spreads or boxes or if he is about to “go” in the wrong place I redirect him. 

My wife is not disciplining him at all like I am, but he does not bite or nip at me (not as much as her) or pull on my pants he does allof the above to her a lot 

If my voice gets deeper and I say “Oscar No” he stops…so I was wondering if this is the reason he is not interested in me if she is around at all. I was just in the kitchen with him, it is gated and she went to the garage and he cried so badly and I was right there!
I feed him in the AM I play with him and I am the one who gives him treats when he goes down the steps or hits his pad with pee or poo.
You can clearly see who this guy is attached to, and I wanted to see if others on this site have had the same experiences and if so is this going to be a permanent thing or might he grow closer to both of us equally. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this entire novel and is nice enough to respond…have a good one
A.


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## Harleysmom (Jan 26, 2005)

My guess is he'll come around eventually. Harley used to be a momma's boy and now he just adores his daddy. My husband gives him treats when he goes on the peepee pad........thats all it took.


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## puppylucy (Jan 8, 2005)

lucy likes me best







because i spend the most time with her.

my reccomendation is to spend more time with your dog - go for walks, play, talk to him, etc withOUT your wife being present. also ask if you can be the one to feed him his meals


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## Ant Nay (Mar 21, 2005)

I do give him the treats when he goes on the pad and when he goes down a few steps I am the one that makes a big deal of it and he gets a treat from me and he is learning to sit also before he gets his treat.
I primarily feed him in the morning, but he hates that I take him from my wife, he actually pooped on the floor in the kitchen this morning when I took him to eat...he was upset I guess.
I try to feed him at night also, but if I get home too late she will feed him...
I hope he gets comfortable with me and likes me as much as my wife...we'll see..if there is any other feedback out there please feel free
Thanks Again
A.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

Awww....poor you....








I think most of us would say that our dogs are more attached to one person.
Brinkley is definetely more attached to me. Hubby is great and fun for him to play with, and if I am not home, he will lay with him. But if I am home, forget it!







I think a lot of it is because I am his primary caregiver. I feed him, bathe him, brush him, discipline him...all of it! Hubby loves him and plays with him!

I agree that maybe you should do more... he is still young, so maybe it can turn into something more equal...ya know?







WOW, I just re-read your post, and he is ONLY 10 weeks? You got him really tiny if you have had him three weeks!







He definetely has time to turn things around...I would just share the responsibilities and see what happens! Good luck with your tiny baby!


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## Puddles Mom (Jun 20, 2004)

Your home sounds like ours. Hubby says "Puddles loves me more".

Puddles takes every step I do, when not home he's with hubby. Hubby walks him and give treats, he also sneaks his dinner to him. But he's still attached to me when I'm in site. We give him baths together and do vet visits together when possible. So, I don't think its really anything wrong or right your doing. Just go with the flow and continue to give him attention. 

(Guess they are like kids. Mom said she did every thing for / with me, but I was a Daddys girl.)

Best of luck with him !!


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## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

I agree.. I think a Maltese for the most part seem to be more attached to one person in the house. I read that about them before I got Kodie... they are "loyal to their owners" I think it said.. or am I confusing this whole concept!?!


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## Scoobydoo (May 26, 2005)

*Scooby is a daddy's boy and his choice it to always sit on daddy's recliner and follow him everywhere, but he comes to me for his food and to go out potty etc.
He gets away with a lot more with hubby but has more respect for me when I tell him no, he listens, but not so much with hubby.
I am thinking he has his pecking order worked out, I am the Alpha, he comes next and hubby is last, and I suspect you are the Alpha as you do the teaching and your wife is the one he thinks he can do as he likes with so he will spend most of his time with her. Having said that, they do tend to have a favorite in the household. They are very smart little furkids when it comes to working things out.*


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

I think you are right to see this as a problem. You are setting yourself up for some issues in the coming months. 

You and your wife need to sit down and decide on consistent ways to deal with the puppy. Both of you need to use the same corrections and praise for him. If biting is unacceptable, then it needs to be unacceptable all of the time. As for bonding, you should each feed him a meal. You should each take him for a walk. You should each have 1-2 brief (a few minutes) training sessions with him daily. Play games with him together like the recall game (call him back and forth to each of you for treats -- you can even do this for his dinner). Both of you can take part in grooming him (you brush one leg while she distracts, she does the other side while you distract). 

It is important that you BOTH develop a health relationship with him. This is a classic situation where you end up with a dog who will behave around you, the disciplinarian, and around your wife will be out of control. Consistency with both of you is the key to a well-adjusted pup who will turn into an adult you both can handle.


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## Sylphide and Shrek's Mom (Dec 4, 2004)

Sylphide decided that I'm the one for her. She loves her Daddy, but is definitely Momma's girl. She'll cuddle with my husband, and hang out with him, but when I am around she wants to be with me. Actually, all 3 of our dogs follow me around wherever I go when I am home. My entourage. I am the disciplinarian as well as the loving mom. They all decided I'm the alpha, much to my husband's chagrin.


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## clharter (May 14, 2005)

I agree that malts prefer one person more but they can love the whole family. Having said that, I think it could have somthing to do with how young you recieved him. If he is 10 weeks now and you have had hime for 3 weeks he might not have been conpleatly weaned from his mother. He might favor your wife because of this. Just a thought







Oh yeah, He is such a doll


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## ourprettytessa (Apr 9, 2005)

i haven't experienced this with tessa yet and i hope i never have to. both our dogs do love their daddy and mommy. although daddy punishes more sternly (with a deeper voice, just all around more serious tone) mommy disciplines as well. we try to do things all together. we feed the dogs together, walk them together, cuddle them together (but i guess we are college students and have similar schedules that allow it). we used to think that our rottie liked me more than my fiancee but it doesn't seem that way anymore. even though tessa spent her first 6 weeks with me alone, she saw henry (my fiancee) ALL THE TIME. he is very loving towards the dogs, its incredible. 

this is just my experience, thought i would share with you. i was very worried about this at one point also but everything seemed to work out after all.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by clharter_@May 31 2005, 09:38 PM
> *I agree that malts prefer one person more but they can love the whole family.  <div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=67456*


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That is a good way to describe Brinkley. I know he loves them all, but I am his "fav"!







(and I secretly like it that way...







Shhhhhhh.....







)


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## abbey (Apr 4, 2005)

Abbey definately prefers me! It makes my kids so upset! They tell me "Go Away, Mom - So Abbey will play with us!". I wish she would not favor me.







The main reason we got her was for the kids! The kids share in taking her outside to potty, giving treats, playing, feeding, etc. The only thing I do that they don't is give her a bath and brush her. She is alittle over 5 months now so I don't know if this will change or not. I just try to stay out of the room when they want to play with her! My youngest wants to trade her in for a rooster!!!





















They really do love her so I hope she begans taking to them more once school is out!


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## Angus (Mar 9, 2005)

> _Originally posted by tlunn_@May 31 2005, 09:24 PM
> *Awww....poor you....
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That's exactly how Angus is...he will hang out and play with his dad, but when I'm around, forget about it. He shadows me and wants to lay on or next to me, even if his dad takes him and tries to snuggle. He'll sit for a moment and then hop up to be near me (even if we're both sitting on the couch together!). I feel sorry for my hubbie, but I love it that Angus is as attached to me as I am to him.


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## Chelsey (Dec 17, 2004)

I agree with JMM. You both have to do the correction. We had the same issue with chester our yorkie. I was the one home with him most of the day so I did all the correcting. Then when my husband came home he got all the love, chester for walks and played with him. Up to this day chester cry's for my husband, if he just goes down the stairs. If chester made a mess I would say bad and then tell my husband to say it as well. Well now in the morning I let my husband take them out . I take them out durring the day. You have to share th work, good a bad. Your wife should also do some training with the puppy and give him treats. While you play with him more.
Now chester treats us both the same. It will take some time


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## rubyjeansmom (Jan 6, 2005)

Ruby is more attached to me than my hubby--except bathtime--she just takes off for him like he's going to save her from her bath!!







Now I'm trying to get him to help me so she won't think I'm a big meanie!!


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## Chelsey (Dec 17, 2004)

> _Originally posted by RubyJeansmom_@Jun 1 2005, 08:52 AM
> *Ruby is more attached to me than my hubby--except bathtime--she just takes off for him like he's going to save her from her bath!!
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Yep I make sure my husband also gives them both baths as well. Mind you I do it most of the time.


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## Ant Nay (Mar 21, 2005)

I agree with you when you say we BOTH need to be on the same page as far as disciplining him, I am definitely the one who corrects him and when I say “NO” he listens, my wife is the softy and she is not as stern with him as I am. Well over the last few days he has totally gotten away from going on his pad . I know he is young still and I made a mistake he is 11 weeks, but he will sit there and look at you and he will pee next to the pad or where ever he wants, he held it in the kitchen yesterday and when I walked out to sit with my wife outside for a second he pooped right on the floor. The pad is a foot away. This morning again I took him out of his crate took him in the bathroom to use his pad and he would not, so I took him down to the kitchen along with his pad where he eats and he would not go. 
I keep saying “go make” our phrase we use and he refused and then he went next to his water bowl looked at me and peed on the floor again the pad is very close maybe a foot again.
I think he is not into me because my wife is so “good” to him and does not discipline him the same way. 

I am trying to figure out what happened the last few days, he was doing well and now he is not hitting the pad a tall....very challenging...I do not want to stop correcting him, but he is totally not into me these days and I think he is being defiant and making in the wrong places. My wife and I need to get on the same page or the dog will get confused.

I appreciate any more feedback or insight into these issues. Thanks again ...finding this board was a BIG help


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

Please be careful not to read emotions onto dog. He is very, very young and it is doubtful he truly knows where he is suppose to go. It is your responsibility to get him on the papers every time. You need to take him and place him on the papers and reward him with praise and a treat when he goes in the right place. If he hasn't gone in a while and you know he needs to, crate him for 10 minutes and take him to his place again. Repeat until he goes in the right spot.


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

When he goes in the right place, you gotta act all silly and happy!!!














Like he has just discovered a cure for the common cold or whatever!







Act in ways, that if your neighbors/friends were to see you, you would be embarrassed!







Get all goofy and talk baby talk...do lots of clapping and petting and loving as well as giving a treat....









He will get it! These little boogers WANT to please us...that is one of their most endearing traits IMO...once he realizes how happy it makes him when he goes in the RIGHT place, he will eventually "get" it. BUT, he is such a young fella right now, you may have a long way to go before it all comes together!!! Be patient!
It will come!









PS: Is it possible he is walking OFF the pads to do his business? Maybe he starts on the pad, and then walks off? Brinkley was doing this, and so I started putting them in the large doggy litter pans. Now he stays in the pan for the most part. Only an occasional big poopy time gets out.







I think having a particular "place" like "in the box" also helped Brink. It keeps the pad from becoming just another part of the floor to them. Just an idea, but it sure worked for us!


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## puppylucy (Jan 8, 2005)

traci, that makes a lot of sense


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by tlunn_@Jun 2 2005, 11:21 AM
> *When he goes in the right place, you gotta act all silly and happy!!!
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Oh, and another thing that worked for us...  

Unless you SEE him go in the wrong place....just clean it up and ignore him. When you catch him in the wrong place, THEN put him on the pad, but stay positive...a firm "NO" worked for us, and then placing him in the right place and saying "potty"...even if he has already finished his business in the wrong place..


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## puppylucy (Jan 8, 2005)

> _Originally posted by tlunn+Jun 2 2005, 11:27 AM-->
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Oh, and another thing that worked for us...  

Unless you SEE him go in the wrong place....just clean it up and ignore him. When you catch him in the wrong place, THEN put him on the pad, but stay positive...a firm "NO" worked for us, and then placing him in the right place and saying "potty"...even if he has already finished his business in the wrong place..
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wish you could have told my old neighbor that









she would find poo/pee and then SPANK her dog and carry him to the pad


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## Brinkley & Neyland's Mom (Jun 14, 2004)

> _Originally posted by puppylucy+Jun 2 2005, 11:28 AM-->
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wish you could have told my old neighbor that









she would find poo/pee and then SPANK her dog and carry him to the pad















<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=68100
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Poor baby!


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## Chelsey (Dec 17, 2004)

You really have to watch them when they are going. When training Chelsey our Maltese, she would do this circle then when she is about to poop. Sometimes she will circle her way right of the pad and then proceed to squat. I make a” uha” noise with my voice when she is circling off the pad. Then she goes right back on it.
Since he is only 11 weeks this will take lot of practice, patience and lots of yummy treats. Every time he gets it right, you really do have to act like a clown with the 'yeaaaa" good boy. I would even call my husband and he would come running up the stairs saying ‘yeah Chelsey good girl and wave his arms and stuff."
It really works. Also discuss the commands that you and the wife are using as well.
I would teach Chester our yorkie "down" with a signal of my hand . 
I did not know my husband was saying "sit-down" for the down command. How confusing is that for a puppy.
Up to this day poor Chester is confused with that command some times. I say "down " and he sits.


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