# Separation Anxiety



## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

Ok, so my little guy suffers from mild separation anxiety, no doubt from being abandoned. The clues that tipped me off to the fact that he was abandoned are as follows:
He was neutered (not a tell tale sign, he could have run away)
He's extremely loyal to me, and I've only had him for a few days
When he is on a long leash (I bought an extendable one for park days), he will run to my friends to smell them and play, but he will quickly return to my side without me beckoning him

The last two tell me that he was certainly abandoned, and is not a runaway.

So, he only barks for 10-20 minute when I leave in the morning. He also messes the house (only poo, he pees on pads, and no destructive behavior), but as I said it's only been a few days. I am just trying to get this done as quickly as possible. I am aware that it may take months. I had an abused dog previously and it took nearly a year, so I am in this for the long haul. I just have experience with mutts though, and I am aware that purebreds, especially toy dogs can be a little to a lot different, depending on temperament. Now Jin, he is a smart little guy. So, he has picked up on clues to me leaving very quickly. I am fairly observant, so I notice his anxiety. It can be as simple as a perk of the ears and a lifting of the head in a very alarmed manner. Here is what I have done so far in the few days I've had him:
I have created a schedule for us, and will continue to do so on the weekend. Wake up and walk 6 AM, shower at 6:30, start talking to my girlfriend via Skype (she is moving here in two weeks, so this will change), get dressed at 7:15 (anxiety begins), grab bag, shoes (I live in Korea), and keys at 7:40, and leave the house despite his barking. I try not to pay attention to him as I'm getting ready, but I do slip him a treat before the barking starts as I leave, so he associates my leaving with a treat. Let me know if this should change. I come home at lunch after a few hours of teaching to see how he's doing. Usually a mess, nothing too serious. I don't pay attention to him though for the first 5-10 minutes. I go about cleaning up his mess, scrubbing with a disinfectant, and then I maybe pet him a little bit, but then go back to work. I feel that this will let him know that I WILL be back, and I won't leave him forever. I go back to work, and I finish my day around 5PM. I got back home, and I clean up again if he has made another mess. I again, ignore him for the first 5-10 minutes. I then give him some attention, but let him lay in his bed if he chooses. At night, I feed him around 7PM, which is around the time I eat. He stays occupied with his food, and doesn't bother me with mine. I then walk him around 9PM for a half hour or so. He always pees outside, and I give him a treat, but he never poos. He will only poo inside. I'm trying to fix this, but advice would be nice.

So, to get him over the anxiety of my getting ready to leave, I actually dressed and undressed several times today after work. When he quit paying attention to that, I started grabbing my bag and putting it on. He started paying less attention, and I put my bag on, grabbed my keys and my shoes, and then walked to the door, but didn't leave. Then I took all that stuff off, and sat at my desk. A few minutes later I would do it all again. I probably did that 20 or 30 times, and his anxiety seemed to noticeably go down, but I don't know if that was him getting tired, or if it was working haha. So, I plan on doing this until I can leave him, and he doesn't run to the door and bark. Hopefully, it doesn't take that long. Thank god for understanding neighbors though. I talked to my next door neighbor and the woman across the hall (I have never used that much Korean before in my life), and they were totally understanding. I think it helps that he looks like a puppy even if the vet puts him at nearly 2.

As I said, it has only been a few days, but I want to get this right from the beginning instead of waiting for real problems to arise and then dealing with them. That's never a good way to get things done. As I said before, I have 0 experience with toy dogs, which can be much more temperamental, much less an abandoned toy dog, so any advice is welcome, thanks!


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

You are right on track!!! Keep practicing your leaving rituals like you've been doing. 

Where is he being kept while you gone? Often times dogs feel safer in their own den. You can get a crate and start introducing it to him as a positive place to be OR a small room in your house with a baby gate. Feed all meals in his den. Toss treats and toys in for him to retrieve. Teach a "kennel up" and "okay, come out" command for cookies. Work up to having him sit in with the door/gate shut for 2 seconds, slowly increasing at variable intervals (2, 5, 8, 4, 10, 3). Once he can hang out while you are home for 20 minutes, you can start using his safe place while you practice your leaving rituals. Once he is totally comfortable, try stepping out the door and right back in. If he can handle it, do the same time increase with variable intervals. NEVER greet him when you return. Always be very boring, calm, and disinterested.


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

QUOTE (JMM @ Sep 23 2008, 11:37 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=639409


> Where is he being kept while you gone?[/B]


Ah, well, since he's quite a small little guy, I have put him in the smallest room in my house, and the easiest for me to clean up, the bathroom. For a pup as small as Jin (he's probably around 7 lbs, which I know is about the right size for a Maltese), it's a fair sized space 8 x 8 or around those dimensions. 3 x 8 of it is cut off by the shower/bath. So, his actual space is 5x8. That's still quite the space, but I have no smaller, and it's difficult for me to find real dog stores in Korea, so I've been looking for a small kennel online. I would like to wait until he can make it through the day without pooping though. As it is, I've been ignoring him when I get home. I clean up his messes, but try not to really touch him, except to keep him from the mess, which was huge yesterday. I'm also worried about having to retrain him once my girlfriend comes as she'll be living here.

If someone knows where I could possibly find a crate in Korea, or even a store that ships to Korea, that'd help a ton thanks.


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

Yeah...I would definitely try to crate if you can fine or make one. Just be sure to do a slow introduction to make it a safe place.


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

QUOTE (JMM @ Sep 24 2008, 11:19 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=639594


> Yeah...I would definitely try to crate if you can fine or make one. Just be sure to do a slow introduction to make it a safe place.[/B]


What would be the easiest way to make one. The only crate I have been able to find so far is too large, and it's over $130. I'm sure that I could make one for far cheaper. I've never actually had to crate train a dog before, as the ones I have previous owned were never of the toy variety. I suppose I should start trying to find articles online. It's hard to get books on this stuff here in Korea. Quite unfortunate, but you make due right?


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## binniebee (Sep 27, 2007)

Here is a website that sells crates. Sorry if they do/don't ship to your country, but perhaps this can help you find another that does, if they do not. http://www.dogkennels.com/dog-crates/6996+6998.cfm
They are not very expensive at all, although if they ship to you then the shipping might be a lot. I ordered mine online and have been very pleased with it.

Hope this helps!

Cyndi


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

http://www.detongwiremesh.com/yingwen/gypl2.html

Or perhaps contact a breeder in Korea for a recommendation on where to purchase. 

http://www.maltese.co.kr/eng/index/index(e)1-3.html Blueberry Hills is one.


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

QUOTE (JMM @ Sep 24 2008, 01:03 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=639654


> http://www.detongwiremesh.com/yingwen/gypl2.html
> 
> Or perhaps contact a breeder in Korea for a recommendation on where to purchase.
> 
> http://www.maltese.co.kr/eng/index/index(e)1-3.html Blueberry Hills is one.[/B]


Thank you for all your help. I want to give him another day or two to see if crating is necessary, because he is 2 years old, and today he did wonderfully alone in the bathroom. He still barked when I left, but there was only one very small mess when I arrived home. I was very proud of him, but I still didn't choose to go with a big interaction when I arrived home. It was hard, because I was very proud of him, but I know that I have to be tough if he's going to break the habits. If he continues to do well, I think I will train him to treat the bathroom as his cage. I'll work on the kennel up command using the bathroom, and I will put his toys in there. He's so very smart. He improves on a day to day basis. I think it helps that every time he enters the bathroom, I give him a treat. Living in an apartment in Korea, which is laid out wonderfully, but isn't huge, means that I must put him in the bathroom. I know that Maltese have trouble with dampness, as I've read, so I have been toweling down the bathroom with a designated towel every day before I put him in there. Wow is that a chore! It seems to be worth it though. Here's to crossed fingers that I may be able to eliminate the barking


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## Snuggle's Mom (Jan 3, 2008)

I do not know whether or not I missed something from your first post, but I read and re-read it and noticed that you did not mention anything in your schedule about taking your dog in the morning before you left for work. I cannot imagine not letting him out to go potty until you come home from work. Hope that you will be able to find a crate for him. Perhaps your Girlfriend will be able to help you out with this. 

Snuggle's & Chrissy's Mom


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

QUOTE (Snuggle's Mom @ Sep 24 2008, 09:28 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=639725


> I do not know whether or not I missed something from your first post, but I read and re-read it and noticed that you did not mention anything in your schedule about taking your dog in the morning before you left for work. I cannot imagine not letting him out to go potty until you come home from work. Hope that you will be able to find a crate for him. Perhaps your Girlfriend will be able to help you out with this.
> 
> Snuggle's & Chrissy's Mom[/B]



Wow, that's a major oversight. Of course I take him out before I go to work. I couldn't imagine not doing it. In fact, I started waking up earlier to build in a half hour walk for the little guy. And he's actually taken to the bathroom quite well. Only a minor accident in the middle of the floor today, and I was gone longer than usual after work, I went home at lunch, because I had a dentist appointment. I think he's quite the smart little guy, and he's starting to make sense of it. It helps that he has started to receive all meals in there, and he gets treats any time he goes in on his own. And of course when daddy leaves in the morning.


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

Oh, I just noticed that I did say "Wake up and walk at 6AM." Not easy to pick up, but it was there haha.


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Sounds like you are doing a great job! My rescue, Naddie had severe separation anxiety and also crate phobia ( believed she had been crated for long periods in her former life) so that wasn't an option. It just took time amd patience and she finally came to feel secure with my leaving! 

Coming home and 'ignoring' was the absolutely the HARDEST PART FOR ME! ( it broke my heart ) However, I knew that it was necessary part of her therapy and it worked!


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## CrystalAndZoe (Jul 11, 2006)

Well first of all welcome to SM!! You're going to LOVE being the proud daddy of an adorable little ball of fluff! And may I add, all your dressing and undressing for fake times to leave to help your little guy has made me fall madly in love!!! Alas, Korea is soooooo far away and you have a gf. Story of my life! :HistericalSmiley:

Anyway, my boy Jett is a rescue and suffered from not only separation anxiety, but also crate anxiety. So a crate may not work for you depending on your little guy's issues. It took about 6 months of my continual leaving and coming back at consistent times and not making a big deal about leaving or coming home for him to get over his anxiety. It was so bad that I couldn't even take a shower without him making a mess in the house. He had to see me at all times. But now there's no problems at all. He will even be in another room without me now. I don't think he would ever be comfortable being left home alone with out his big sis Zoe though. He is just not a one dog only kind of guy.

But you're correct in your observation that toy dogs are different when it comes to training then the big dogs. They want so much to please you that I've seen people reinforce or cause problems by being too harsh or stern in their training techniques. Postitive training methods work the best for these guys. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an expert. My two are well behaved most of the time, but I'm still working on leash aggression and guarding their territory. *sigh* I need Victoria Stillwell to come help. :blush:


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

Sounds like you are right on top of things! Keep up the work and update us from time to time.


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

QUOTE (JMM @ Sep 25 2008, 03:40 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=639860


> Sounds like you are right on top of things! Keep up the work and update us from time to time.[/B]


Thanks. He was actually pretty good today. He only made a very small mess in the bathroom, but he left it alone, and didn't spread it. That was my fault though, because I fed him, and walked him, but I didn't have enough time before work to make him poop. So, I'll take the wrap for that one. He still barks, but I think I know why. He probably feels like my bedroom is his den. He associates the bathroom with meal time and with daytime, but he likes to spend all the rest of his time in my bedroom. I think I may try caging him in a bit using various objects, but I want to see how he performs in my bedroom when I leave. If he has already associated it with his "den" for now, I am going to have to wait until I can create a crate of sorts without actually buying one. I don't want to take the risk that he's crate-phobic as many rescues are. Also, I can leave him water, but I have set up specific feeding times already, so he's quickly learning. One more day, and then I can sit all Saturday with him in training mode and use some boiled chicken to try to train him completely out of this mild anxiety phase.


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## jaceybaby (Sep 16, 2008)

Try crating him. It controls the mess.

Another idea is put him in his crate/leave him in a room etc and put your shoes on, coat on, and walk out the door. Come in 30 seconds later take it off and redo. After a while he will just stop trying to get you back. 

The next step is leaving for longer. Start with 5 minutes, then go to 15 minutes! Work for it!


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

QUOTE (jaceybaby @ Sep 25 2008, 08:11 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=640318


> Try crating him. It controls the mess.
> 
> Another idea is put him in his crate/leave him in a room etc and put your shoes on, coat on, and walk out the door. Come in 30 seconds later take it off and redo. After a while he will just stop trying to get you back.
> 
> The next step is leaving for longer. Start with 5 minutes, then go to 15 minutes! Work for it![/B]


I've done all that, except the crate thing. The only issue I have with crating is that a lot of rescues have been in crates too much and have a deep aversion to them. They are so phobic that it's nearly impossible to crate train them as it puts them into a whole other area of distress. So, I am trying to skip the crate for now.


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

QUOTE (rlp271 @ Sep 25 2008, 07:33 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=640324


> QUOTE (jaceybaby @ Sep 25 2008, 08:11 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=640318





> Try crating him. It controls the mess.
> 
> Another idea is put him in his crate/leave him in a room etc and put your shoes on, coat on, and walk out the door. Come in 30 seconds later take it off and redo. After a while he will just stop trying to get you back.
> 
> The next step is leaving for longer. Start with 5 minutes, then go to 15 minutes! Work for it![/B]


I've done all that, except the crate thing. The only issue I have with crating is that a lot of rescues have been in crates too much and have a deep aversion to them. They are so phobic that it's nearly impossible to crate train them as it puts them into a whole other area of distress. So, I am trying to skip the crate for now.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Yes, that was the problem I ran into with trying to treat Naddie's S/A. She is big-time crate phobic. It is guessed by the rescue people and vet that she had been crated all the time . ( her leg had even been pulled up to her body by severe matting and atrophied which I understand is a "long-term-crating" red-flag.
I found once Naddie's 'normal' potty issues resolved and I could give her more freedom in the house it helped a whole lot in her S/A. She seemed to feel better when she could go to see out the sliding door and I also put a chair by the window where she could go up and look out. 'Confinement' even though a full room ( my office) was still too 'confining' for her. The 'Panic-potty' stopped almost immediately.


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## MandyMc65 (Jun 14, 2007)

I think you are doing a fabulous job!!

I'm sure he'll soon be okay! Jax had some mild anxiety when I would leave. We'd crate him (and he loves his crate) but he'd bark and wine and I'd come home with him soaked from probably drooling. 

He does go to work with me, so that was only if we'd go eat or grocery shopping...

I think the thing that helped most was ignoring him when we got home. I can leave him now without any problems, whether it's in his crate or just in the house.

I'm assuming you've taught him to go outside to go potty, but have you thought of potty pads? Do they have them in Korea? That way, you can put one in the bathroom for him to use during the day. Jax knows to go potty outside and on potty pads, so it isn't too confusing for them to have both!

Keep us updated!


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

They actually love the potty pad thing in Korea. He will always pee outside. I have never had him not pee outside. He won't poop outside. I think the thing is that he only poops after eating twice, and the second time he eats is always in the morning. So, yeah, I should be able to get him to poop outside tomorrow, which is my day off. He's been doing a lot better, but he still has a problem with barking when I leave. It doesn't last long, but I still want to see if I can get it out of him. That's the only thing he's got left after 5 days. He's been such a good little guy.


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## rlp271 (Sep 22, 2008)

Update:

So, now all is well when I am on my regular schedule. He didn't bark this morning as I left the house. I do believe that he is making a strong association between snack and me leaving now. He still has problems when we are somewhere unfamiliar if he can't see me, and he also has problems if I am gone outside my regular weekly schedule. I think he just needs time to get fully comfortable with his surroundings. He is more than comfortable with me. He enjoys sitting on my lap, and tends to follow me all over the house, which of course lends to his separation anxiety. He should be getting more comfortable with the house though. He loves my bedroom, and he is starting to enjoy the bathroom, because that's where his water dish is. In no time, I think he'll be just fine with me not there.


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