# Please pray for my mom, hospice coming in



## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Her kidneys are failing.. my father called to tell me it's only a matter of time.. but I called the nursing home ,they said she's pretty strong but many a couple months yet...
Gives family time to make their good byes...
When I visit, I talk to the nurses, hard to get much info since my father told them, under no certain terms to tell me NOTHING! So they actually guilted him ,in front of witnesses to call me...
He wasn't going to tell me at all... 

I reminded them, he did a spousal refusal to support so legally she is a ward of the state since he refused to care for and financially support or pay for her care... so legally she is an abandoned spouse... He is financially able to pay but refused.... This is a man who's wanted my mom to die since she had her aneurysm several years ago.

Mom was 75% back to normal after the aneurysm for about 3 years but had a hard time doing her personal care after that... He wouldn't help, so thankfully I got him to put her in the nursing home where she would get the care she needed and to be safe since he would leave her alone for hours at a time, even going away on week ends.... Had it not been for the nursing home,she would have died a long time ago.

It's hard knowing, my father wanted mom and myself and my brothers(who never visit any way) to die so he could invent a whole new family of "sons". This is why it's so hard... Thankfully he said how he wished she'd die at the nursing home in front of witnesses so they know how he really feels. That's why I'm glad she's in a nursing home, supervised and safe....

I talked to the nursing home director today, she told me more, she said mom ,under hospice care could live another couple months,so it gives family time to go and make their good byes.Plus hospice is going to do some extra things ,feed her and do music therapy, she will love that. She was musically gifted... Mom's tough and stubborn, she might surprise my father and longer than he hopes... I pray they can keep her comfortable and happy until that time comes...

Hoping it warms soon, so I can take her out into the courtyard, she loves that...


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## mdbflorida (Feb 28, 2013)

I am so sorry. Hospice is a wonderful organization and helped with my Mom several years ago. My thoughts and prays are with you.


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## preisa (Mar 7, 2013)

Life can sure get tedious at times....thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom!


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

I'm sorry Michelle that your moms not doing so well. I'm glad she's in a place to be taken care of. I don't know what to say about your Dad, he sure isn't a very nice human being.


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## donnad (Aug 22, 2006)

I am sorry about your mom. I will keep her in my prayers.


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## Zoe's Mom88 (Apr 25, 2011)

Michelle, I am sorry to hear about your Mom. I can imagine you must feel so much better knowing she is being cared for on a daily basis being in a nursing home. I sure hope you get to spend some time with her. Prayers for you and your Mom.


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## pippersmom (May 21, 2012)

I am sorry about your Mom. Just be there for her . I am also sorry for your family that your Dad is the way he is. Thats very sad.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I'm so sorry about your Mom Michelle, I'll keep her in my prayers. I'm sorry your family has to deal with such heartache too.


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## cheekyradish (Mar 24, 2013)

My thoughts are with you Michelle as you go through this. Your mom is lucky to have you~

Ardith


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I miss her humour and her laughter and she was ornery too... It's like loosing a life long friend,not just your mom...
Only blessing with her Alzhiemers is that my father can't hurt her with his meaness,he used to make her cry....
Hospice is going to do music therapy with her and I'm sure that will help her be calm and peacefull and bring her some joy.

Looking forward to it warming up so we can go into the courtyard and see the birds and flowers, if she's still able...she always loves that...
Hospice will have someone there to help her eat,so maybe we can get them to do that in the courtyard too...
May 1st is her birthday, hoping for a sunny counrtyard party for her...


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## spookiesmom (Mar 28, 2010)

My DD is also a music therapist. I have gone with her to the nursing homes. The residents love it. 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, hospice is wonderful during and after. They helped me after my parents passed. Use them!


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I'm so very sorry about your Mom but feel Hospice will bring her much peace and comfort in the time ahead. 
Sorry about your situation with your dad as well...*BUT* it's his loss.. He has denied himself a wonderful relationship with a sweet and lovely daughter.. again I say..It's his loss!


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## maltese manica (Nov 6, 2012)

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I pray she stays around longer than what has been predicted. If your father is like this, then why is he hanging around for??? Wish he would bugger off and give you and your mom peace! You are in my thoughts!


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## babycake7 (Jan 30, 2012)

I'm so sorry, Michelle! My thought are with you and your mom. I hope you will share some time together that will help ease the life changes ahead. As for your dad...families are sometimes so complicated. He's missing out on a wonderful, talented and compassionate daughter. Bella and I send hugs!


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## Grace'sMom (Feb 22, 2012)

Hugs and prayers Michelle....


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## TLR (Nov 13, 2011)

Michelle, sorry to hear about your mom. It sure makes it hard when your father isn't supportive. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

This is a sad time for you for sure....I went through it two years ago. Hospice is a good organization. I don't know what I would have done without them.

My prayers are for you and your mom...may she live comfortably and pass with dignity and without pain...when it comes.


.....and for your father.....I say we call a "man hater" meeting at the nationals....my mom was the president of our chapter....and her husband Bert was pissed about that.....:thumbsup:


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

The A Team said:


> This is a sad time for you for sure....I went through it two years ago. Hospice is a good organization. I don't know what I would have done without them.
> 
> My prayers are for you and your mom...may she live comfortably and pass with dignity and without pain...when it comes.
> 
> ...


My father is the dream squasher, every dream my mom ever had, he would squash it like a bug... his father was the same way...

My Al is the total opposite, he's supported every dream and nurtured every happiness I ever had,I'm so lucky... some girls want to marry a man like their dad, not me... I saw how unhappy my mom was with him...

He only hung around because she did everything, cooked ,cleaned, did all the finances... once she outlived her usefullness, he was over her, but divorce is too expensive so he did a spousal refusal to support when she went into the nursing home so he wouldn't have to spend a dime on her care... 

He just goes right before dinner time, eats with her,used to be free but now it's $2, soon as dinner is over, he wheels her back to her room and leaves...
When she passes into heaven, they'll go after him...

I'm so blessed Al wouldn't do that to me, anytime I've been sick or injured,he's always been there to take care of me...

My mom deserved so much better. Whatever time she has left, we'll be there to make it as happy as we can...


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## Lprego35 (Nov 8, 2010)

So sorry for the pain your going through! I will keep you in my prayers!


God Bless you!

Leigh


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## Yogi's Mom (Jan 6, 2013)

*Prayers From Pa**
*Iam So Very Sorry to read this.*

*Nickee**


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Michelle, I'm so sorry for your pain. I went thru that a few years ago. Hospice is great and it's so good they are there so soon. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## CorkieYorkie (Apr 10, 2012)

Michelle, I am so sorry to hear this  Alzheimer's/dementia is the worst... my grandfather had it for quite a few years before he passed away... as a child, it was so painful to witness your grandfather tell your own father, "I have a son your age."  

Also, I am so sorry to hear about your father... I don't know how I would have dealt with that... :angry: Hugs to you and prayers that this goes as smoothly as possible for you :heart:


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Michelle - I am so very sorry. My mom passed away two years ago today on Easter Sunday 2011. She had been in hospice for just over two months. I think this is the best possible situation - early hospice so that your mom can be as comfortable as possible.

With my mom, she was also in a nursing home and at least one person from hospice was with her for at least an hour every day, sometimes twice. They reviewed her meds and just sat and talked with her. She enjoyed their visits and I think it helped her come to terms very early on with what was happening. 

Since she was three hours away, they called me one afternoon a few days before she passed to tell me they were going to have to increase her meds to keep her comfortable and when they did that she would be asleep most of the time. They told me that if we wanted a last conversation, we should come visit the next day which of course we did.

My heart aches for you - I don't care how old they are, I don't think we are ever ready to say goodbye to our moms.


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## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Oh, Michelle I know how hard it is. Unfortunately, it is what we have to go through. I went through my mother's terminal illness. Then I got to watch my father force feed his second wife in the late days of Altzheimers. There is no easy way out. There is no pretty picture. I cannot offer you any solace other than to hold your hand as you go through this horrible time that eventually confronts all of us who's parents live to very old age. When my mother was sick....she was younger than I am now...and I was caring for her, I had a very active and attentive spirit guide, an angel. I am certain that if you call upon her, you will find that you too have an angel dedicated to helping you through this...just ask, and you shall receive.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

maggieh said:


> Michelle - I am so very sorry. My mom passed away two years ago today on Easter Sunday 2011. She had been in hospice for just over two months. I think this is the best possible situation - early hospice so that your mom can be as comfortable as possible.
> 
> With my mom, she was also in a nursing home and at least one person from hospice was with her for at least an hour every day, sometimes twice. They reviewed her meds and just sat and talked with her. She enjoyed their visits and I think it helped her come to terms very early on with what was happening.
> 
> ...


I lost my parents at a young age and now my adoptive parents, mom through Alzhiemers and my father, just being a mean and selfish. 
Kinda like being orphaned twice...
We never get too old to miss our mommies...
We go every week sometimes twice a week if I go to Defiance...between my father in law's stroke, mother in laws occasional seizures and my parents, we are pretty busy with folks and having to help Al's son...
Talk about the "sandwich generation".


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## silverhaven (Sep 6, 2009)

So sorry to hear all you are going through. It is so hard seeing our loved ones failing. My M-I-L is in a care facility, very close fortunately, she lost her devoted Hubby last year. Not fun in the end for anyone.

Prayers said for her rayer:


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## sdubose (Feb 21, 2012)

Michelle, I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I can tell that you really love her. You will be in my prayers.


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## IzzysBellasMom (Jan 16, 2013)

Alzhiemers is the most horrible way for a family member to pass, it puts so much strain on their loved ones. I am so sorry you are having to deal with that and a A$$ as a father. Praying that you find comfort that your mother will be at a better place when she passes on. And doesn't have to endure any more abuse from your father.


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## Maisie and Me (Mar 12, 2009)

Michelle, I understand your pain and will pray for your family:wub:rayer:rayer:rayer:


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## maltese#1fan (Feb 20, 2012)

Oh Michelle, my heart is breaking for you right now. My mom's death is still so fresh in my heart and mind that I know the pain you are feeling. As others have said, the people who work for hospice are amazing. Even though my mom was only under their care for a very short period, they have reached out to us many times to make sure we were doing okay. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your mom.


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## SweetMalteseAngels (Oct 16, 2011)

I am sorry to hear about your mom. May you enjoy spending some quality time together. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs to you.


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## Summergirl73 (Sep 18, 2011)

Oh Michelle, I'm just crying reading this. It sounds like your Mom isn't the only strong one. You my friend are a brilliant warrior. God bless you for honoring your Mother with your steadfast love. Praying for you both.


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## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

My heart and prayers are with you, Michelle. So sorry about everything.
Xoxoxo xoxoxo


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## Cyndilou (Jan 24, 2013)

I am so sorry. I has been almost three yrs since I lost my dad to cancer. Only four months after being diagnosed. I was 40 but still a daddy's girl. Hospice was great. I'll be praying for you.


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## socalyte (Nov 15, 2010)

Michelle, I'm so sorry. I can' begin to imagine what you are going through. You, your mom and the angels on earth at the care facility are in my prayers.


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## mfa (Oct 5, 2009)

Michelle, I am so sorry to hear about your dear Mom. I am glad that she is getting the good care that she deserves.
As for your dad, I'm sorry that you have had to deal with someone like that. 
Keeping you and your mom in my prayers. Hugs.:grouphug:


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Michelle - thinking of you. :grouphug:


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## Five Furs (Apr 15, 2013)

I am so sorry about your Mom and not getting suport from your Dad either..we all send you warm hugs and PRAYERS from Texas


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Michelle, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. 

This might surprise you to know that my heart was breaking for you during the holiday season. At that time, you wrote on FB about the mean spiritness of your father and how he has mistreated you in various ways. I hope you know in your heart that it is his loss ... because you have a heart of gold.

Bless you for being there for your mother. How cruel of your father to be so heartless toward her. 

On your mother's birthday on May 1st ... I pray you have a beautiful sunny day, with music, in the courtyard ... with both of you enjoying the day together. And, if you some reason there are rain showers ... then, I wish for you and your mom to see the most beautiful rainbow.

Hugs and love, Michelle.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

It's breaking my heart..
Saw mom today,she was out of it, but we still stayed,so hard to see her like this.My father was there,complaining as usual.... Hospice is coming in for a family meeting but my father is making sure I can't be part of it...Nurse accidentally told me about it and he got mad. Refused to let me come... He wants to hurt me as much as possible on this...I called the nursing home, 5 am, can't sleep, as ask if the director would call me in the morning,to ask her if she could let Hospice know she has a daughter who cares. Hospice is there to help the whole family deal with the loss. He doesn't want to deal with it, he wants it over with.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Michelle, just stopping by to say how much I admire you in so many ways! I believe your mom knows somehow about all your love & compassion & care. She is pretty close to heaven & it is amazing what she may experience. May you & she enjoy these last memories on earth. Sending you warmest love & all my prayers. Stay centered on the good, if you can.:wub::wub:


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Michelle I haven't been getting on SM much these days so I am just seeing this. It's such a hard thing you are going through. It takes so much strength to hold it together. Saying it's hard is an understatement. My prayers are with you and your family.


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