# Afraid of Separation Anxiety...



## marleysmom (Apr 16, 2008)

Hi everyone! We picked up our puppy from Chrisman Maltese two days ago and I have a few concerns. He is the sweetest, most affectionate little thing I have ever met but he has to be with someone at all times. He is ALWAYS underfoot and if I put him in his crate he barks and barks. We have allowed him to sleep in bed with us too. My daughter slept with him one night and the other he was with me. I've been fortunate to be home with him but I do have to go back to work on Saturday and I'm afraid he'll go nuts being left alone and in the crate. He's doing okay with potty training and knows what he's supposed to do on the pad. But I have caught him a few times going elsewhere. Maybe I'm allowing him to much freedom and I should keep him in his pen with his crate and a pee pad? I just don't want to start any bad habits and I also want him to be happy when left alone. Thank you so much for advice...this is all new to me!


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## Stelkia Maltese (Jun 3, 2008)

I don't have an answer. I just wanted to tell you he is absolutely adorable. :tender: My answer would be take him everywhere you go, but I know some bosses may have a problem with that.


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## domino_angel (Apr 17, 2008)

Yes, I think most puppies get lonely and noisy for the first week or so. I wouldn't worry about it. If it really bothers you, sometimes it helps if the baby can see you at night, you could put the crate on your nightstand. I don't do that, because i knew that she'd get over it anyway, in her own time. 
What I did was put the pup in a small room (laundry room) with her carrier, toys, and pad (also food and water since i free feed) and baby gate her in there. That's where she is anytime I am not watching her like a hawk, and where she sleeps. I leave extra special treats when she's alone for very long (like overnight), something like a treat filled kong, etc. 

Make sure he's warm enough. Also, some people say to wrap a ticking clock in a towel or blanket and put it in with the pup to simulate mom's heartbeat, or An old t-shirt that smells like you can be comforting.

I think you will hear something similar from most people here! 

:welcometosm:


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

I am a big fan of crates. I crated Nikki at night from the first night I brought her home until only very recently. (She's 7 months old) I bought 2 crates, one for the room with the most activity and one for the bedroom. I put the bedroom crate on a nightstand next to my bed, level with the bed. During the day, I crated her in the living room and let her out to eat, play, and potty. As the days went by and she became potty trained, she was allowed more freedom. It worked very well. 

If you are going to be out for a long period of time, then you can consider using an exercise pen with a crate, food/water and a potty pad inside of it.

Even though the puppy cries, it is much better in the long run to keep them confined to small spaces when they are little, to teach them potty training and how to amuse themselves when you are not around. There are many posts on SM on this subject. Crating and/or X-pen is really the best way to train a puppy.


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

It sounds like a normal adjustment period. 

Be consistent with the crate. Set a schedule for the puppy to include meals, potty, play, crate time. In a few days, he'll get with the program. I would crate at night until housetraining is more consistent. 

Make the crate a happy place. Feed the puppy in the crate (you can leave the door open). Toss toys into the crate for the pup to fetch when you play. Toss treats in the crate. Teach the puppy to get into and come out of the crate on cue (kennel up, okay you can come out). 

Special food toys for crate time when you leave can be very helpful. Stuffed kongs are an all time favorite in my house. Busy buddy toys and hollow bones are other fun crate toys. The dog ONLY gets them in the crate when you leave.


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

What a cute puppy!

I have the most difficulty knowing what to do during this initial phase with the puppy. It's hard for me because I know the puppy is going through a HUGE transition. It's just been separated from it's canine mommy and littermates and having to adjust to a new human family and totally new environment. You want them to feel secure and bond to you, but if you constantly hold them and cuddle them, then they do have separation issues when you have to leave them. 

Something that worked for me was to put Karli in her crate when she was tired. I had a routine of taking her out to potty, then playing and cuddling for awhile, and putting her in her crate when she was tired and sleepy. (I was guilty of carrying her crate from room to room with me though.) This seemed to work with her as she's a really well adjusted dog as far as being fine when I leave. She just naps while I'm gone.


There's some really good training tips on petplace.com




Joy


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

Congrats on Marley's arrival! He is cute as pie! 

I went thru this w/Benny and Emma too, you just have to stand your ground. Marley is a puppy and wants to be w/you all the time. The crying will break your heart but he just has to learn that when he is in his crate it's a safe haven and it's his alone time. He'll adjust eventually, it just takes awhile. Ask Alice (godiva goddess)....she had a tuff time w/Mia for awhile there. 

My two sleep w/us now, but for the first few months they always slept in their crate. I put the crate on an ottoman or chair eye level w/my bed so that they felt they were in bed w/us. If they cried I was able to roll over and put my hand by the crate so they would calm down. This will prevent accidents in the bed and also get Marley used to sleeping and being in his crate. After a few months and the adjustment period is over you can start letting Marley sleep w/you. 

Good luck and best wishes with your baby!


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

When Lacie was a puppy, I set up my master bathroom as her "area". The master bath was right off my bedroom and she could see everything yet have enough room to move around and play -- after all, what seems like a small amount of space to us is a huge amount of space to a 1-2 lb furbaby.

From the master bath to the master bedroom was a small hallway that had a closet on each side. This was carpeted while the bathroom was tile. In one area was her pee pad -- the furthest corner of the bathroom. Her crate was on the carpeted part as well as her food and water. Of course, she had many, many toys in her area too.

I never actually locked Lacie in her crate, but at night she would go in the crate to sleep (her own choice). She could see me in bed and knew that I was there, but she was so small that I was worried about her falling off the bed or my rolling on her. 

I had a baby gate that blocked the area from the hallway to the bedroom, so she could easily see through it.

During the day, while I was at work, that was where Lacie stayed. When I got home from the office, she would get to come out and help me make dinner, play and be a part of the family, but when we went to bed, she went back into her room.

Lacie is the most well adjusted little girl, and I'm sure that a lot of it has to do with her earily training and my consistency.

She now sleeps in bed with me, but during the night, she will often get down and go into her Pampered Pink Princess House (similar to a crate) and go to sleep. She loves to sleep there.

Also I took Lacie with me (usually in a "to go" bag) where I could once she had completed her vaccinations. As I had to leave her during the day, I wanted her with me as much as possible. She still loves to go and she loves people.

I'm sure that your baby will be fine once he settles in. He's adorable. :wub:


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## kathym (Aug 5, 2006)

THIS IS WHAT I DID AND I MUST SAY THANK GOD BACI WAS THE FIRST DOG I TRAINED MYSELF AND IF IT WERE TOO ME HE WOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED BUT I KNEW THAT WAS A MISTAKE .
I FOUND THIS ON LINE AND IT WAS A LIFE SAVER. AND VERY GENTLE
DOVE CRESSWELLS DOG TRAINING .IT WAS SIMPLE AND GOT THE JOB DONE .I STILL USE IT FROM TIME TO TIME .
.UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO GET A PRIVATE TRAINER
PS I DID NOT USE A CRATE BUT ITS A NO NO FOR THE BED UNTIL HE IS TRAINED---- GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL PUPPY


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

Marley is soooo cute!! I absolutely LOVE his face, it is beyond precious, what a good looking little man!!! :wub: :wub: :wub: Congratulations to you!!

and yes, to second what Tammy wrote, I had quite a difficult time w/ Mia when she first came to my home as well, she wanted to be w/ me all the time, very similar to what you described w/ Marley. I basically stuck to Chris (Chrisman's) schedule..he gave me one when I picked up Mia..It was really hard b/c Mia would cry and then resort to barking..but I really had to just tough it out and stand my ground..it was hard in the beginning but once you do it, it will get easier...I remembered being on the phone w/ Chris, Tam, and Leslie many times, and I was crying bc I didn't know what to do....so I know how tough it must be for you. I liked what JMM wrote..those are wise words...I also crate trained Mia..I basically did everything Chris told me to do..and now, Mia no longer barks! I am sure Marley will eventually learn as well...just make sure you dont give up on the crate training schedule!

Good luck to you!!


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## marleysmom (Apr 16, 2008)

Thank you all so much for your advice! He really does not like that crate but I've learned to just ignore him instead of trying to soothe. He will still bark a lot but not as frantically as he would before. I thought I had this quiet little puppy but he has certainly found his voice! I am back to work tomorrow so hope he will be okay.


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## marleysmom (Apr 16, 2008)

Well we got through it! He is no longer barking when left alone or in the crate. Maybe one or two halfhearted "ruffs" and that's it. We decided not to let him sleep on the bed anymore and after one night he has accepted it. I set up a gated area with his crate and pen with his pee pad inside. Both doors are left open so he can go from his crate to his potty pen. I think I miss him in my bed more than he does! Thank you all for your guidance!


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