# Please keep Grandpa in your thoughts



## beckinwolf (Sep 2, 2008)

I think we're nearing the end with my grandpa. He ended up in the ER on 9/14 with a possible TIA. Those are kind of like mini-strokes, where the clot comes and goes. So they did a CT scan that revealed he'd had many small strokes in the past. They were small enough so that we never really noticed them. He's 86, so I guess it's not too surprising. 

So anyway, after 9/14, they sent him home, back to his assisted living facility, and he seemed to be doing ok for a few days, but on 9/20 we got a call late at night that said he seemed to be declining and they wanted us to take him back to the Dr. on 9/21. Well as it turns out, that morning of 9/21 they could not get him to get out of bed. He was basically immobile. They called the EMS to come get him, and he's been in the hospital since. In the meantime they've done an echo-cardiogram, and two more CT scans to see if they missed anything. The 2nd and 3rd CT scans showed a small brain bleed, but no more than the size of a pencil eraser, so nothing too worrisome. Not something they can easily fix. 

But now, after being in the hospital for going on 4 days, he's not improving. It's frustrating for the doctors because there is nothing medically wrong with him. He's just "failing to thrive"... pretty much basically dying of old age. So now we are at a cross-roads of what to do. Where do we place him. If he doesn't improve by next week, we need to decide what kind of care he needs. 

They even wanted to do an MRI of his head, but we just said no more. We think he's done. He's not a touchy-feely kind of guy, and just recently he's started to reach out and touch us. Wants us to hold his hand, etc... That to us, means he's ready to say goodbye. 

I've never lost a parent before, and even though he's my grandpa, he raised me as a daughter, so it's especially hard. At least I have my aunt to help me in this process. I'd be lost without her. 

Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. My heart goes out to anyone else facing the loss of a close loved one.


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## MaryH (Mar 7, 2006)

Becky, your grandfather and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know what you're going through. My mom is 87 and we are facing similar issues.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

beckinwolf said:


> I think we're nearing the end with my grandpa. He ended up in the ER on 9/14 with a possible TIA. Those are kind of like mini-strokes, where the clot comes and goes. So they did a CT scan that revealed he'd had many small strokes in the past. They were small enough so that we never really noticed them. He's 86, so I guess it's not too surprising.
> 
> So anyway, after 9/14, they sent him home, back to his assisted living facility, and he seemed to be doing ok for a few days, but on 9/20 we got a call late at night that said he seemed to be declining and they wanted us to take him back to the Dr. on 9/21. Well as it turns out, that morning of 9/21 they could not get him to get out of bed. He was basically immobile. They called the EMS to come get him, and he's been in the hospital since. In the meantime they've done an echo-cardiogram, and two more CT scans to see if they missed anything. The 2nd and 3rd CT scans showed a small brain bleed, but no more than the size of a pencil eraser, so nothing too worrisome. Not something they can easily fix.
> 
> ...


 
Oh dear Becky, my thoughts and prayers are with you and Grandpa. Believe me. Having a grandparent not well, is very difficult. After loosing my "Nani", I was in bed for two days.

I hug you and have been down this road, sadly so many times. While Grandpa is in the hospital, there usually is Social Services, located right in the hospital, and can help you with many options. Also, have your loved ones stay in close contact with the doctors. I am sure they are. There is hospice. Now years ago, hospice was meant for those, going on to a eternal peaceful place. But there is also hospice, now, to help get the patient better. So you could ask social services about that as well.

My heart and prayers are with you.

Nothing in the world like Grandparents. I know. Many hugs.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

You're all in our prayers. My mom has Alzheimers so she's driftign away slowly. Dad has Parkinson's and is pushing everyone away...Tough when parents age....


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Dear Becky, sending more prayers for you and your grandfather. I'm so glad you have your aunt with you to help you.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Becky, I have lived on the other side of where you are standing w/lots of small TIAs & a major one finally. It is a long road back---probably too far for Grandpa. So hold that hand he is offering, stroke it and let him know that you are at peace w/any decision he might make. Sometimes release needs to come from those closest to us---a great sacrifice for the giver and a sweet aroma to the receiver.
I will lift you up in prayers & thought as you are emotionally close & feel the pain. Sending you hugs also.


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

My prayers are with you.


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Becky, my grandma (my best friend) was failing and we hired home hospice for her. As Christine said, hospices now are not only for 'the last days' but can offer pain management, if that is an issue, and basically make their lives much more comfortable, for however long that is.

You and Grandpa are in my thoughts.


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## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

I will keep you and your whole family in my prayers, Becky. Love and hugs to you.


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## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

So sorry Becky about your grand pa, but there comes a time when you have to face reality. We will all go through this one day or another. Hold his hand and be with him until it's time for him to leave this world. Hugs.


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

Becky, you & your family are in my thoughts. I'm glad you have your Aunt to be with you during this tough time. Big hugs xxx


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## jerricks (Dec 24, 2007)

Oh Becky, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and grandfather...God Bless all of you!


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## socalyte (Nov 15, 2010)

Becky I'm so sorry. All I can offer is my prayers and a big hug. Just let your grandpa know you love him. I know when my dad had a major stroke, music and our presence comforted him-- and we let him know whatever he wanted to do was okay.


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

I can't add anything to what has already been said but want you to know your Grandpa and you are in my prayers....


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Becky - I'm so sorry about your grandfather. It's such a tough place to be in for him and for his family. I went through it with my mom and both my in-laws and now we're going through it with my aunt who will be 98 next month. I think after some health episodes at that age they really don't have the strength or will to go on and as you said rally or try to get better. Very often they stop eating or drinking or do so very little. They figure, "It's time" and it very well may be. I think they really get tired of fighting the good fight. People generally didn't live this long or this healthy years back. 

I think that hospice is a real godsend as others have said here. It's the most humane, loving, dignified way to go forth. Does your grandfather's assisted living facility have a hospice service, maybe in his room/apt? Some facilities do have it and my aunt just started on it this week. She can stay in her familiar surroundings and I think that helps. I will pray for him and for your family. Spend this time with him, laughing about good times and remembering family and friends and show him how much you care about him. He will be in your heart always.:grouphug:


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## beckinwolf (Sep 2, 2008)

Well we went to see him this evening around dinner time, and he was doing better. He was strong enough to sit up in the bedside chair and eat there instead of in bed. So that was good to see. He was also talking more and more alert. This is the first time we've seen him out of bed since Wednesday. We're really hoping he can at least go back to the assisted living facility where my grandma is. She's getting hospice care too, so the same company will help out grandpa, since we're already familiar with them, and know the people that come out and help. The facility has some great hospice companies that come out and help with the residents. The hospice companies always want us to remember that "hospice is for the living, not the dead" So its not always what some people think of hospice as. 

While we were there, they weighed him, and he's lost quite a bit of weight in the last few weeks. He's lost about 10-12lbs. He did build up quite a bit of reserve at the facility, so at least he has it to lose.


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## coco&nina (May 8, 2008)

That's good to hear that he's making progress. Sending you big hugs during your difficult time.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Great news Becky---sounds like Gramps has more "tiger in the tank" than he was showing! Good for him! and you!


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

beckinwolf said:


> Well we went to see him this evening around dinner time, and he was doing better. He was strong enough to sit up in the bedside chair and eat there instead of in bed. So that was good to see. He was also talking more and more alert. This is the first time we've seen him out of bed since Wednesday. We're really hoping he can at least go back to the assisted living facility where my grandma is. She's getting hospice care too, so the same company will help out grandpa, since we're already familiar with them, and know the people that come out and help. The facility has some great hospice companies that come out and help with the residents. The hospice companies always want us to remember that "hospice is for the living, not the dead" So its not always what some people think of hospice as.
> 
> While we were there, they weighed him, and he's lost quite a bit of weight in the last few weeks. He's lost about 10-12lbs. He did build up quite a bit of reserve at the facility, so at least he has it to lose.


 
Oh music to my ears and heart!!!!!!!!!!!! Hospice, are angels on earth, truly. Oh sounds like Grandpa is getting stronger. He does want to get home to Grandma....so sweet. They will take wonderful care of him. Huge hugs and many more prayers.


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## Maisie and Me (Mar 12, 2009)

I am praying for you, Becky and your Grandpa and Aunt and I hope his good progress continues.


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## beckinwolf (Sep 2, 2008)

Well, good news. Grandpa was discharged today. The nurse from his assisted living facility assessed him and he is able to go back there just fine. They are just making a few adjustments. He will be eating a softer diet that is easier to eat, plus he may be using a wheelchair sometimes, and his walker other times. They adjusted his meds and he will get some physical therapy.


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## Harley & Dakotas Mum (Jun 11, 2005)

Thats great news Becky!! I am glad he is able to go back to what is familiar to him, I think its so important for the elderly to be in familiar surrounds.


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## zooeysmom (Aug 1, 2011)

I'm happy to hear this good news, Becky


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## CrystalAndZoe (Jul 11, 2006)

beckinwolf said:


> Well, good news. Grandpa was discharged today. The nurse from his assisted living facility assessed him and he is able to go back there just fine. They are just making a few adjustments. He will be eating a softer diet that is easier to eat, plus he may be using a wheelchair sometimes, and his walker other times. They adjusted his meds and he will get some physical therapy.



Becky I'm so glad to hear this. You and your G'pa have been in my prayers. This thread kind of struck a chord with me as my parents are aging and I'm preparing to help care for them. I know you must be so relieved!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Super! Welcome Home Grandpa! I hope you enjoy him for a long, long time!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Oh that's great news. He will be happier there and like you said he's there with your grandmother. You must be so relieved to know he's OK.


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## Bonnie's Mommie (Mar 2, 2006)

Wonderful news, Becky! I agree, he'll be much better off in familiar surroundings.


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## joyomom (Jan 13, 2008)

Keeping your Grandpa, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing the news today!


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Good news, Becky. Wishing him well. I'm sure he'll be so much happier being back home at his place in Assisted Living.


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## beckinwolf (Sep 2, 2008)

Crystal&Zoe said:


> Becky I'm so glad to hear this. You and your G'pa have been in my prayers. This thread kind of struck a chord with me as my parents are aging and I'm preparing to help care for them. I know you must be so relieved!


Taking care of your aging parents/grandparents is the hardest thing ever. It's like a whirlwind of craziness. One minute he's just fine, the next minute we think we're losing him, then he's fine again.


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## Katkoota (Feb 18, 2006)

Keeping your grandpa in my thoughts and prayers (hugs)


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

I missed this thread Becky, it is so hard taking are aging parents, I remember so well. hugs to you and Grandpa i will be praying for you


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## Aarianne (Jul 22, 2005)

Sorry to hear what you're going through. We went through that with my grandmother not too long ago. You just have to make the best of it, like all things in life I guess. I'll be thinking of you...


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