# Down In The Dumps - Update - 40



## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

I’m normally a very positive person and seldom complain, but I’m in a really bad place right now and just need to vent.

First – my job. I have a wonderful job that I truly enjoy. It’s totally different than the career I enjoyed for 25+ years. But one of the things I’ve enjoyed about this job is the co-workers and friends. As we moved to the Albuquerque area about 3 years ago, I really didn’t have friends or family in the area, so when I got this job, it was wonderful because of the co-workers. 7 of the senior management team were women that had also recently relocated to the area. They had been with Comcast and had transferred here, but it was the first time working under the same roof. We really became good friends both in and out of the office and enjoyed a lot of recreational time together too. Beginning in late September until the first part of December, 5 of these women received promotions and relocated within the company. 2 went to Denver, 2 to Houston and 2 to Northern California. Although the positions have been filled, each was replaced by a man. I still like my co-workers, but the atmosphere is totally different and the camaraderie that we enjoyed isn’t really there anymore.

Second – my husband. As most of you know, my husband had an unexpected quadruple bypass on 2/12/09 and has had a lot of setbacks with his recovery. He’s in Phoenix during all of this and I’m here in Albuquerque. Although I try to see him on weekends whenever possible, I hate the long distance of worrying about how he’s doing, and, of course, I also just plain miss having him home when I’m there. The doctors tell us that he isn’t out of the woods yet because his ejection fraction is so low and they are fearful that his heart will just stop beating at some point. They do plan on putting in a pacemaker in about 4-5 weeks, but his heart isn’t strong enough to even do this at the present time.

Third – my mother’s death. Today is the 4th anniversary of my mother’s death, and I still miss her so much. She and I were so close, and although I feel her presence with me, it’s not the same as having her here on earth. My Dad passed on in 1979, and I am an only child, so it was just me and my mother for a long time. With her passing, I do feel so terribly alone in many ways. I don’t have any skin kids of my own (although my husband has grown children and grandchildren) and I only have 3 cousins total that I haven’t seen in more than 30 years. So there are times that I realize that when my husband is gone, I will be “totally” alone.

Fourth – my own health. Due to all the stress from Jerry’s surgery, I’ve gotten sick with bronchitis that is finally getting better, but I’m just not feeling well. I’ve had 2 bouts of cancer within the last 4 years and know that stress can trigger health problems. So I know that I need to take care of myself, but I also know that the stress can’t just be “washed away”.

And I’m angry with myself for feeling sorry for myself. I could have it so much worse. I do have a good job, a nice house, etc. And so many people are out there with so many more problems than I have, but today I’m really having a blue day.

Luckily the girls and I got to see Jerry this weekend and that was nice, but it was hard saying goodbye last night. But I’ll be back to see him in a couple of weeks and hopefully he’ll keep improving and be even stronger by then.

Thanks for letting me vent to my SM friends. You have no idea how much you all mean to me and what a great group of people you all are.


----------



## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Awww Lynn, bless your soul. Sharing how you feel with your "family" here at SM, is very healthy, and we would be hurt, if you were down, and didn't share that with us.

Sending all the love, care and hugs your way sweetheart...you and Jerry are still in my prayers.

Just know, we always are here. :grouphug:


----------



## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

Aw, Lynn, it sounds like you have every right to be down in the dumps right now. We all go through it sometimes. :grouphug: 

And you don't have to be alone.....you guys can come here and live! We can have puppy parties all the time! 

Seriously, maybe you should talk to your doctor, maybe he can prescribe something to make you feel better.

We're here, vent all you want.


----------



## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

I totally understand about the work situation. When I started here 13 years ago, these people became my very best friends. They've seen me through the loss of my son, the dissolution of my marriage, my Dad's death...I just don't know what I would have done without them.

Now they are slowly retiring and I still have about 7 more years before I can take early retirement. I tell them all the time that I'm having abandonment issues! I guess I just don't deal well with change.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Just go back and read what you wrote and realize how many difficult situations you have going on right now.

And, please, please - remember to take care of yourself.


----------



## madden (Jan 15, 2009)

Aww Lynn Sorry to hear about the tough times. I hope you feel better :wub: 

Hang in there thing will get better :hugging:


----------



## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm sorry you're feeling down Lynn.You've been under a lot of stress with Jerrys health.Hopefully he will be much better soon & can come back home. We'll all be your sisters. Hope you feel better really soon & here's a big hug for you :grouphug: .


----------



## Deborah (Jan 8, 2006)

I am so truly sorry for all you have been through. You do always seem to have such a positive attitude which helped others feel good. Perhaps you need to see a Dr. to prescribe something that will take the edge off. Once you are able to be a little calmer I think things will be much better. Your body is already reacting from the stress due to the bronchitis.

Vent all you want! You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Deborah


----------



## KandiMaltese (Mar 27, 2007)

Lynn, you have a lot on your plate right now. Easier said than done, but try and take it easy. I hope your life gets easier soon. Hopefully the girls are giving you some comfort.


----------



## SueC (May 23, 2007)

We all love you, Lynn. Wish we could all be there to give you a hug in reaL time.


[attachment=48599:si3431f.jpg]


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

I am so sorry Lynn  and to be honest you HAVE been through so much and it's hard when your going through it alone.
So once in awhile we have the right to feel bad for ourselves.  You have a lot on your mind and good lord I know stress can literally make bad things happen.
It's easy to say oh relax and try not to think about it and so on , but in reality it's just always there, how can you NOT think about it.
All I can say is I really wish you happier days ahead and some peace of mind. I hope all these events make you stronger .
I just like to walk I know it sounds stupid , but the fresh air and just looking at the trees and sky calms me. I walk every morning 2 miles and I just feel better.
That works for me though, I hope you find something that may work for you and take your mind away a little bit.
Hang on , I promise better days are ahead :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## Reillies_mom (Jan 29, 2009)

You just let it out - let it all out - if you need to, just go in a room (shut the door) and you just throw you a big 'ol fit!!!! You know how you hear a kid at wal-mart in the toy section throwing a fit when they do not get what they want? Maybe that is what you need to do. 
I feel really bad for you - the stress of your husband being 'not well' would be enough to finish most people off. You sound like a very, very stong woman. I am sure that I am not help to you, but I did read your post and I did like the suggestion of taking a trip to see your doc. 
You hang in there - the lowest place the devil can knock you is to your knees!!!
Take care of yourself -
Terri


----------



## daisyg (Jun 21, 2007)

Awww...LYNN....just know that you love you :wub: here on SM and you are not alone you have US!!! :grouphug: 

Wishing you a better day!!!

~Daisy


----------



## MalteseJane (Nov 21, 2004)

On a day like this it's normal how you are feeling. It will get better, take care of yourself, you don't want to be sick when Jerry comes home :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

Lynn, you have so many things going on at one time and being sick does not help. Feel free to vent anytime you want. We know what you are going through with your sweet hubby and being seperated from him does not help. I am so glad you have your babies to keep you company. A lot of your friends have transferred out of town, so it is all catching up with you at this time!! Hang in there and keep the faith and anytime you need us, just pm or post and we will be here!!!!!


----------



## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

Lynn, we are always here if you need some one to turn to. I am so sorry that all this is going on at once and that you and Jerry feel better soon. :hugging: I will keep you both in my prayers. rayer:


----------



## bluesyinpa (Dec 9, 2006)

:grouphug: Vent all you want Lynne, We're all here for you! :grouphug: 

Rita


----------



## theboyz (Jan 10, 2007)

Lynn, isn't it neat to have this great big Family on SM. We are all here for you and glad you had a place to come and talk. It sure is hard with all you are dealing with now and I have to agree with Nemo, I long walk always helps me.
I feel energized and refreshed and ready to "get at it".

Take care of yourself and do some special things just for you. Whatever it is that you like, try to find time and enjoy a few minutes, hour of "you time". 

Prayers for You and Jerry and know that you will soon be together at home.


----------



## njdrake (Apr 23, 2007)

Lynn, you have so much going on right now that its pretty normal to have blue days. I'd be worried if you didn't. There is always someone with problems worse than your own but it doesn't make your problem any less for you. Just remember it will get better and things always have a way of working themselves out. I think you'll feel better about everything when Jerry is back home. You hang in there and vent all you want. You have a lot of friends on here and we love ya! I hope everything gets better soon and I'll be thinking about you and hoping only the best for you and Jerry. 
Hugs and Prayers,
Jane

:grouphug:


----------



## luvmyfurbaby (Feb 11, 2007)

Lynn just take a deep breath. I wish I could reach through the computer screen and give you a big hug. You have alot going on and that lowers your immunity. I would do something just for you even if it's just a pedicure or a luncheon with a good friend just to destress. You can vent anytime and you have my number so I am just a phone call away! :hugging:


----------



## joyomom (Jan 13, 2008)

this is for you
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 

Will keep you in my prayers!


----------



## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

Ah, Lynn,

We are all entitled to BLUE days.. hopefully this will pass quickly. I know that being sick and having so much stress can make things worse. Hang in there. You are a dear sweet person. I hope things get better for Jerry soon and he can be back home with you. I know that will help a great deal. Women friends (and those who are co-worker friends) are such a joy - that not having them there can certainly be sad. 

Take Care of yourself!!! 

:grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

It's good to let it all out. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad....things will get better! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## donnad (Aug 22, 2006)

You have been through a lot lately and if you are feeling sorry for yourself, that's ok. We all have felt sorry for ourselves at one time or another. And if you need to vent, that's ok too. 

Go out and have a day just for yourself. Things will get better.

I will keep you and Jerry in my prayers.


----------



## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

Lynn, even with half of what you are dealing with, blue days are to be expected. Come on, you can't the the life of the party every day. You are human and will feel the weight of all that is going on from time to time. Let yourself work over all the issues you are dealing with, ONE at a time. Don't try to take it all on at once, that will just make it all seem larger.

God bless you... you are worth it! We all care. Look deeply into your doggies' eyes and feel stress melt. There are things that are out of your control, let them move to the background for now.


----------



## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Lynn... you have every 'right' to feel down. You have a lot of weight on your shoulders right now. I wish any one, some or all of us could just sit down with you over a nice glass of 'whine' and we'd listen as you vented! 
That's very good you did express how you feel and though we can't be right there with you.. we are here for you!.. soooooo vent away!!! 
Also like others have suggested... indulge your self and do it without any guilt!!! just do it!


----------



## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

I would be worried about you if you weren't feeling a little down. My goodness, you have been through so much lately. Things are going to get better. Find something that you like to do and just do it. Even if it is totally unnecessary and impractical. How about a spa day?? New hair color and style, manicure & pedicure (get dark red polish) how about a massage to work out some of the stress? Definitely deserve a new outfit that makes you think about what you like and who you are. You are not just Jerry's wife & your mother's daughter, you are an individual with lots of fun still to be had and lots of life to live.

If all that doesn't cheer you up, go to a real tear jerker movie & cry your eyes out. Nothing relieves stress like a good cry,


----------



## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

Lynn,You are entitled to feel sorry for yourself sometimes. We all do, and you have so much going on now. Just remember, you are not alone. You have many people that care about you. Just be sure to ask for help if you need it. We are all here for you, but if you truly feel overwhelmed, speak to your doctor. We all love you.


----------



## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

Awww...Lynn, God Bless You!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## bonniesmom (Jun 2, 2008)

Lynn, you've gotten a lot of good advice here, and certainly know that a lot of us care about you! I read your post this morning and didn't have
a chance to write until now, but I've been thinking of you all day. I do understand your feeling stressed, and have been in a similar situation -
I think I'll send you a PM, but please, do as the others say - namely, whatever it takes to relieve some of that unhealthy stress! :grouphug:


----------



## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

Oh, Lynn, you've been through so much. I know it is absolutely not easy and especially when you don't have a lot of family. I'm glad your SM family can be here for you. :grouphug:


----------



## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

:sLo_grouphug3: 
Sending hugs! Oh, and Sweetness is sending sloppy puppy kisses!! :Flowers 2:


----------



## susie and sadie (Jun 22, 2005)

Lynn, you have been through so much lately, and it is totally understandable that you're feeling down. Just know that we are all here for you and care about you.

Saying prayers for better days ahead for you and Jerry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

I wish the pain from losing our Mothers goes away, yet, I know it never will. 

I continually say the Serenity Prayer in my head: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; wisdom to know the difference. It helps a lot, Lynn. 

I wish you peace today, honey. I hope you get a chance to cry your eyes out. I believe you'd feel better inside and out. I'm so glad you have your beautiful girls to keep you company.

xoxoxox


----------



## Maria71 (Sep 25, 2005)

Lots of hugs for you..hang in there :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## Missy&Maggie (Jun 17, 2007)

I'm sorry you have so much on your plate right now, Lynn!!! I hope it all eases up soon!!!! :grouphug: We are all always here for you!!! I have been down in the dumps lately, too!!! It just seems like nothing seems to be going my way! :Bad day: When I think things can't get any worse they do!!!! I know the one thing that keeps me going...well there are actually two of them...Maggie and Abbie!!!! Just try to enjoy Lacie and Tilly and find some pleasure in the simple things!!! Plus, you have your new little one to look forward to!!! :Flowers 2:


----------



## sophie (Jul 9, 2006)

Lynn, I'm keeping you and hubby in my prayers. I'm so glad that you have everyone here at SM to vent too. Venting really helps. 

I can't imagine how hard it must be to be away from hubby, but you are a very strong woman and even strong women have every right to be down in the dumps now and again. 

But, like others have mentioned, if you think you need a little bit more help make an appointment and go see a doctor. It surely can't hurt. Stress is an awful thing and can do terrible things to our bodies. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but hearing someone else say can help too.

Please take care of yourself. And, please vent all you need to... we are all here for you. Hugs,

Linda


----------



## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

My belief, Lynn, is that true friends are there for us, not only during the good times ... but, the bad times, too. With that, when you are feeling blue, you need not apologize for sharing how you are feeling with your friends. :grouphug: :grouphug: 

I can understand how you feel about your co-workers and friends who have moved. I think that can be a big thing ... especially when you have had so many stressful events happening in your life. Not only do you worry about your husband, but, of course, you miss him. :grouphug: 

I can also understand you missing your mother, too. :grouphug: I hope you can remind yourself though, that there are so many people who sincerely love and care about you. So, you will never, ever be alone. But, again, I can understand how you must feel. :grouphug: 

And, then, not feeling well yourself, is not a good thing. That alone, can pull one down emotionally. Bronchitis certainly can affect one's stamina and dampen the spirits. Please, Lynn, take care of yourself. Drink lots of water to help flush all of the bad stuff out of your system. It really helps. :grouphug: 

Being newer on SM, I was not aware you have had two bouts of cancer in the past four years. Bless your heart. You do sound like a survivor though. :grouphug: 

I hope that your spirits are soon uplifted. :Sunny Smile: :grouphug:


----------



## HEINI (Feb 4, 2007)

*ohh lynn, you are going trough such a lot of difficulties and sad things at the moment. I hope you will stay strong and get over the hill soon.
hug your babies, they have magic power to give strenght and happieness.

all the VERY best 
many rayer: rayer: for you too

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: *


----------



## gypsyqueen (Nov 9, 2008)

Your plate is overflowing and Im so sorry may I add you in my prayers


----------



## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

I'm feeling sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better today. :biggrin: 

I just love being a part of SM -- you guys are the best friends in the whole world. :ThankYou: 

Thanks for all the nice sentiments, well wishes, advice and understanding. Guess I was just having a very bad day and let it all catch up with me, but I'm back to normal this morning.

I did have a good cry :crying: and got it all out so, hopefully, I will be able to stay positive -- at least most of the time.  

It is so wonderful to be able to come to SM and just vent and have all of the great support from my SM friends/family. You've helped me get through so much. :grouphug:


----------



## donnad (Aug 22, 2006)

So happy to hear that you are feeling better!


----------



## bbry (Feb 17, 2007)

Great news! I am so glad that you are feeling better. Now, don't you forget to be good to you. It's all good!


----------



## CandicePK (Nov 11, 2004)

Its good to hear that you are feeling better today.....be good to yourself and know that we're all thinking of you during these stressful times. (
(hugs))


----------



## kodie (Aug 24, 2004)

aww... hang in there... :grouphug: I hope the positive energy remains... you deserve it. :drinkup: :flowers: :hugging:


----------



## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone is entitled to their own feelings. I hope your husband continues to get stronger and once that happens you will feel less stressed out, things will get settled again. It's hard thou, somedays we just want a plain old ordinary day with no problems or things to worry about. I am glad you have all of these friends here to help you.


----------



## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

I am so happy that you are feeling better Lynn. :hugging:


----------



## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

QUOTE (Lacie's Mom @ Feb 17 2009, 11:25 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=728682


> I'm feeling sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better today. :biggrin:
> 
> I just love being a part of SM -- you guys are the best friends in the whole world. :ThankYou:
> 
> ...


I am so glad your feeling better.
It is so nice to be able to get people's perspective on things. Sometimes great advice is given and you never would have thought to do what they suggest.
Thank you for updating and I hope you have a fabulous week! :grouphug:


----------



## Hunter's Mom (Dec 8, 2008)

You are not alone. You are apart of this large family of wonderful ladies (and a few men) who would do most anything to help you through anything. I know what it's like to have a very sick husband that you must worry about; time will tell how he will heal but the most important thing is to remain hopeful and allow yourself time to vent, cry, and feel sad.

I will continue to pray for your husband and for you - take care of yourself


----------



## HEINI (Feb 4, 2007)

*lynn, that is so nice to hear you are feeling better!

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: *


----------



## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

We all need a good cry every now and then! It helps to get rid of all that bad stuff we keep stuffed inside. I'm glad you're feeling good again! :biggrin:


----------



## bonniesmom (Jun 2, 2008)

So glad you're feeling better, Lynn :thumbsup: - it's amazing what a good cry can do. Hang in there - we're all here for you! :grouphug:


----------



## Tina (Aug 6, 2006)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


----------



## madden (Jan 15, 2009)

Glad to hear your feeling better :hugging:


----------



## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

So happy you are feeling better. :grouphug:


----------

