# DH Back In Hospital



## Lacie's Mom

I know that many of the "old timers" on SM know about my husband and our continuing battle with his heart. For those of you "newbies" that don't know the story, I will share a little of the background.

To make a long story short, we've had a 3 year battle with heart failure. DH was put on the heart transplant list 3 years ago, but due to his age and other health issues, it's never looked very promising. That he's still alive is, to say the least, a miracle.

And when this all started we were in Phoenix visitning family for Christmas (2008). Since then, he has been unable to return home due to the high elevation in the Albuquerque area (we're over a mile high). The oxygen that his heart can produce just isn't enough at this high altitude. So for the last 3 years, we've lived apart with me making numerous trips to Phoenix. And during that time, he's been in the hospital more times than I can count -- many times with the doctors saying that he hasn't much time left.

He was put back into the hospital this past Wednesday. His kidneys are functioning at only around 10% due to the lack of oxygen that his blood can get to his organs as well as to the huge amount of diuretics that he is taking to get the fluids off his lungs. Also, when his heart isn't moving enough oxygen, he gets tremendous muscle spasams -- usually in the neck/shoulder and sometimes in the legs. On Wednesday, they took him off of all the diuretics and began an IV drip of meds that can only be administered by IV to help his heart beat better. By late Friday, he had shed over 9 liters of fluid that he was retaining and yesterday was beginning to feel much better.

The doctors took him off the IV drip yesterday afternoon and by mid-morning today, he was again retaining fluids and his kidney functions were at about 20% (and that was with giving him dirutecs again). His shoulder pain is back and he's on morphine for the pain. His heart just can't pump enough to keep up with the needs of his other organs.

I never know when it will be the last time -- only God has that answer, but I do know that it isn't looking good. The doctors will discuss together tomorrow and see what they can come up with, if anything.

Of course, I'm in Phoenix -- mostly at the hospital. The girls are at my stepdaughter's house and her 16 year old daughter is having a ball with them so I'm not worried about them as I know that they're fine -- been there before, many times.

Obviously this wasn't the Easter I had hoped for. I know I've asked many times before, but a little prayer for Jerry would be appreciated.

(Checking into SM when I get a break -- what haven't been responding to many posts -- please forgive me.)


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## pammy4501

I'm so sorry Lynn. Have they discussed dialysis with him? Is that something he/you would consider? And the other consideration is hospice. Hard as that idea is, he can be kept comfortable. These are all the toughest decisions of everyones lifetime. Hugs to you. Will keep you both in my thoughts.


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## plenty pets 20

It has certainly been a long road for you and Jerry and I hope they have a good plan for him tomorrow. Sending prayers and know they will be answered.


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## zooeysmom

I'm so sorry, Lynn  I didn't know you and Jerry were going through this. Of course I will keep you both in my prayers. 

Love,


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## babycake7

I'm so sorry to that you are going through this. Have difficult these past few years must have been. Sending you hugs and prayers.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Lynn, I just sent a post and it didn't show up ... so, here is another one.

My heart and prayers are with you and Jerry. I am so sorry you are both going through this.

Please don't worry about posting. Many of us can't post every day, so we understand. And, we know you care and post whenever you can. 

I wish I could hold your hand and give you hugs in person. You are so loved, Lynn. Prayers are being said for you and Jerry around the clock.


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## Ladysmom

I am so sorry, Lynn. My prayers will be with both you and Jerry.


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## gigigirlz

of course I will be saying prayers for both of you.....


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## Zoe's Mom88

So sorry for you and your husband. Prayers for a resolution tomorrow. These issues are so difficult to deal with....hugs to you...


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## revakb2

Prayers for Jerry and hugs for you. Try to stay strong.


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## bellaratamaltese

Oh Lynn, my thoughts are with you and Jerry. Please keep us posted.


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## brendaman

Oh Lynn, I'm so sorry. My heart and prayers go out to you. Stay strong!


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## luvmyfluffybutt

Sending prayers for your family, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been going through so much and are facing challenges still. I can't imagine how hard it has to be to live apart from your husband when he is in such fragile health, you're a very strong woman and I pray that you're blessed with continued strength.


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## Bailey&Me

Oh Lynn, I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jerry.


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## cyndrae

Sending lots of prayers to you Lynn. I also spent Easter in the hospital with my Mom.


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## LJSquishy

Lynn, I am so saddened to hear this news about Jerry. He has been such a fighter, and so have you. I know this isn't the Easter you had hoped for, but you are with Jerry and I know you are so thankful for that. You will both be in my thoughts and please, make sure you take care of yourself, too, during this difficult time. Be strong, Jerry and Lynn. What beautiful people you both are.


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## mysugarbears

Lynn, i'm so sorry, will be keeping you and Jerry in my prayers. :grouphug:


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## michellerobison

Prayers and many hugs from all of us. Keep strong,we're all here for you.♥♥♥♥♥♥


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## SweetMalteseAngels

I am sooooo sorry that your husband's health has been deteriorating. You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.


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## hoaloha

Oh Lynn, I'm just reading this- I will be praying for you and Jerry. I hope you can feel the love and support from your friends here on SM. ::biiiiiig huuuug::


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## Katkoota

I am so very sorry Lunn :grouphug: It's been a long road for Jerry & you. I am sending you tones of positive energy, vibes and good thoughts and prayers :grouphug:


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## Furbabies mom

Oh, I am so sorry for you and your husband. I can't imagine having to be apart , and him not well. My prayers are with you and Jerry. May God comfort you, and give you strength.


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## Summergirl73

Oh Lynn, I am so sorry that you and your DH are going through this. The journey with Heart Failure is a painful one ~ emotionally & physically. This is what we lost my Dad to (he would have been 60 years young last Friday). It is such a roller coaster ride, as you no doubt have experienced. It sounds like your DH has a fantastic group of Dr.'s and of course, a wonderful wife and I am sure this brings him so much comfort. I am lifting up a prayer for you you all. I hope you are taking the time to rest and care for yourself too. Big hugs.


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## edelweiss

Sending much love and many prayers up for God's best for both of you Lynn. We don't know what is best but we do know the One who does!
I appreciate you so much & you will be in my thoughts and on my heart! ♥♥


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## maggieh

Lynn: I am sending you huge virtual hugs and prayers for comfort, peace and healing for you both. I know how difficult this has been for you and how strong you have had to be for both of you. Praying that God keeps you and Jerry both wrapped in His love and gives you strength and peace. Love to you!


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## allheart

Oh dear Lynn, I am praying like crazy for you and Gerry. May God watch over both of you.

All my love,
Christine


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## TLR

Lynn I am so sorry to hear this and will keep both of you in my prayers. Have they considered sending him home on a IV drip (I see this a lot for end stage CHF)?
Prayers are with you.


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## LuvMyBoys

Lynn, I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband are going thru this. My thoughts are with you both.


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## MoonDog

(((Lynn))) My heart is heavy for you my friend. I will be thinking of you and Jerry and of course praying for you both.


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## Snuggle's Mom

I was not aware of the medical issues that your Husband has had to endure for the past few years and want to say how very sorry to hear that he has suffered yet another set back. I will certainly be praying for him and you as well. Hope that he starts to feel better soon.


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## donnad

Lynn, I am so sorry Jerry is not doing well. I will keep the both of you in my prayers.


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## Snowbody

Lynn - I wasn't on SM at all yesterday but commented on FB. I'm so sorry that you and Jerry are going through this. As I said on FB my mom had CHF and it was scary how much fluid she would retain at certain times and it would wreak havoc with her system. I've been praying for Jerry - we all know he's beaten the odds before, several times. :thumbsup: I just want him to have some quality of life if there's new medical intervention. Am hoping there is a way for that. :grouphug:


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## Sylie

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard ordeal. My thoughts and love go out to you and Jerry. :grouphug:


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## Madison's Mom

Constant prayers being said for you and Jerry.


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## educ8m

Lynn, so sorry to hear that Jerry is having such a difficult time. Praying for more miracles for you and Jerry. I can't even imagine how exhausting and scary it must be to have a husband who is so critically ill PLUS not being able to be together all the time. :grouphug:


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## harrysmom

Lynn,

I'm so sorry to hear about Jerry. Sending hugs and prayers for strength. 

Debbie


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## pammy4501

Checking for an update on Jerry. Hoping today is a better day for both of you. Hugs....


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## Piccolina

Lynn,

may your husband be surrounded by angels :innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent::innocent:who will help him to a speedy recovery:amen:

Sending much:heart:love to you from all of us at SM


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## MalteseJane

:grouphug::grouphug: I am following your updates on FB. It is heartbreaking what you are going through. What a life you have for 3 years now, not only with Jerry's health but yours too. And frankly I think that YOUR health is affected by what you are dealing with Jerry. I know you have family here that support you, but I am in the area and if you need a shoulder to cry on just call on me.


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## Snowbody

Checking back for doctor's report.rayer:


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## LexiMom

Lynn I am sending healing thoughts and prayers your way -- please keep us posted


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## Lacie's Mom

Thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts. If anything, Jerry is worse today, but they still have him on so much morphine that it's hard to tell. He keeps telling me that he's doing worse.

Pam -- I have considered dialysis if things get worse, but Jerry doesn't want to do it. My mother died from kidney failure within 5 months of going on dialysis, and during that time she was in an assisted living facility and Jerry took her back and forth to dialysis 3 times a week. He remembers how horrible it was for her and doesn't want any part of it, however, at this point, the doctors haven't suggested it.

As we all know -- it's his heart that is giving out and there's not much that they can do for that. I mean, they've been able to keep him going with an OK quality of life for 3 years. Really, only a heart transplant or the Ventricular Pump (like Dick Chenney had before his transplant) is an option. And neither are that easy to get. His cadiologist is working on trying to see where we stand with the Pump. His blood just can't deliver enough oxygen to his other organs, so they cause problems.

His daughter appears to be in denial and thinks that because he's bounced back before, he always will. I know that only God knows when it will be Jerry's time. In the meantime I'm sitting here feeling very helpless with no control over what's going on and no real plan of action.

I'm trying to decide if I should stay in Phoenix or go back to the office. I would feel better about going home if I knew that we had a plan of action.

As many have suggested, I am considering hospice but I know that once I put Jerry in hospice, he will just give up as, to him, that means it's the end.

I know that so many of my SM friends are having very bad times right now with family and loved ones in the hospital or passing away and many of you aren't feeling well either. I am praying for each of you as I love you all dearly. Just seems like there's way to much sorrow right now. 

I am going to try to bring Nellie (Jerry's black lab) to see him tomorrow. She's a trained/certified service dog so should be allowed in. I know that seeing her will cheer him up.


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## Summergirl73

Lynn, I'm so sorry to hear that Jerry is not improving. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hate this illness. I kind of understand where his daughters denial is coming from. I was sort of like that with Dad. I knew the reality of the situation with my brain & in conversations, but my heart just avoided it some how. I will lift up a prayer for you all for wisdom, patience and peace. ♥


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## Snowbody

Oh Lynn, it's so hard.:smcry: And I know from the past that Jerry isn't exactly the most compliant patient. :innocent: He must really feel like crap to say he's feeling worse. I'm hoping that maybe as bad as things are that it might move him up the list for the pump or a heart. Do you know if that's possible?

I can imagine he wouldn't want to do dialysis. I've known friends with loved ones who had it and they had no life really although I'm sure I've heard that these days they can set up a dialysis unit in one's home...where'd I hear that? Maybe a news medical report. It was much easier on patients and their families. Maybe someone comes in to do it with them? Have no idea but if that would help maybe it's worth investigating, though as you say his heart's the issue. 

I know from my mom that CHF takes it's toll every time you go into one of these episodes and with every one of them, it's harder to come back from them ad they're so much more depleted. I'm praying for some plan of action. You're caught in a very rough spot especially with his daughter not "getting it." Wish there was more I could do then pray but that will have to do right now. :grouphug:


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## Maisie and Me

O h Lynn. I am so sad for you and Gerry that there is no improvement today. i will certainly pray for a plan for you both and that the pump option becomes a reality if it is for the best outcome. I hope Gerry took heart to see his beloved doggie. I hope you can also grt some rest!:grouphug:rayer:rayer:


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## TLR

Lynn, I am so sorry things are not going any better and just wanted you to know that you are both in my prayers. I hope seeing Nellie with lift his spirits a little. So good that she is a service dog and can visit him. Please remember to take care of yourself as well.


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## Deborah

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Deborah


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## aksm4

Oh Dear Lynn, I just read your post Im so sorry about Jerry and prayers coming your way a.s.a.p xo


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## mfa

Im so sorry Lynn, definitely makes for a difficult Easter. sending lots of hugs and prayer.


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## BellaEnzo

Lynn, I am so sorry for what you and Jerry are facing. I pray he improves and pulls through again. You, Jerry and your family will be in my thoughts.


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## socalyte

Lynn, I haven't been on much either since I've been dealing with health issues. I am so sorry to hear that Jerry is having such a difficult time, and I know how stressful that is on you. You are in my heart and prayers. I also know that just because you've "been there" many times before, it doesn't make it any easier. Please know that we all love you and will be praying for the best outcome possible. Hugs, dear friend.


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## Dixie's Mama

Oh Lynn I'm so sorry. Here you go again. I hope Jerry comes through with flying colors again. I'll keep you both in my prayers.


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## Rocky's Mom

Lynn, your story sounds exactly like mine with my Mom. Except now we are in Hospice of Arizona. It's been over a week and she is still holding on. She is unresponsive, not eating or drinking. What hospital is your husband in?
I will keep you and him in my prayers! I can't believe we are going through this together. love you so much Lynn...



Lacie's Mom said:


> I know that many of the "old timers" on SM know about my husband and our continuing battle with his heart. For those of you "newbies" that don't know the story, I will share a little of the background.
> 
> To make a long story short, we've had a 3 year battle with heart failure. DH was put on the heart transplant list 3 years ago, but due to his age and other health issues, it's never looked very promising. That he's still alive is, to say the least, a miracle.
> 
> And when this all started we were in Phoenix visitning family for Christmas (2008). Since then, he has been unable to return home due to the high elevation in the Albuquerque area (we're over a mile high). The oxygen that his heart can produce just isn't enough at this high altitude. So for the last 3 years, we've lived apart with me making numerous trips to Phoenix. And during that time, he's been in the hospital more times than I can count -- many times with the doctors saying that he hasn't much time left.
> 
> He was put back into the hospital this past Wednesday. His kidneys are functioning at only around 10% due to the lack of oxygen that his blood can get to his organs as well as to the huge amount of diuretics that he is taking to get the fluids off his lungs. Also, when his heart isn't moving enough oxygen, he gets tremendous muscle spasams -- usually in the neck/shoulder and sometimes in the legs. On Wednesday, they took him off of all the diuretics and began an IV drip of meds that can only be administered by IV to help his heart beat better. By late Friday, he had shed over 9 liters of fluid that he was retaining and yesterday was beginning to feel much better.
> 
> The doctors took him off the IV drip yesterday afternoon and by mid-morning today, he was again retaining fluids and his kidney functions were at about 20% (and that was with giving him dirutecs again). His shoulder pain is back and he's on morphine for the pain. His heart just can't pump enough to keep up with the needs of his other organs.
> 
> I never know when it will be the last time -- only God has that answer, but I do know that it isn't looking good. The doctors will discuss together tomorrow and see what they can come up with, if anything.
> 
> Of course, I'm in Phoenix -- mostly at the hospital. The girls are at my stepdaughter's house and her 16 year old daughter is having a ball with them so I'm not worried about them as I know that they're fine -- been there before, many times.
> 
> Obviously this wasn't the Easter I had hoped for. I know I've asked many times before, but a little prayer for Jerry would be appreciated.
> 
> (Checking into SM when I get a break -- what haven't been responding to many posts -- please forgive me.)


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## Lacie's Mom

Dianne - Jerry isn't eating or drinking either. We are discussing Hospice later today. We're at Scottsdale North. His primary care physician works with Hospice so I'm waiting on a call back from him.

Yes -- I know that we're praying for our loved ones and for each others loved ones too.


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## pammy4501

Lynn, I am attaching a link to an interesting article about hospice and pallative care for CHF patients. Doctors typically don't like to have these conversations with patients. They are trained to be healers and don't like to "lose the battle" so to speak. This might help you have a better understanding of hospice and pallative care and hopefully get a good discussion going. Hugs..

theheart.org: trusted cardiology news and opinions


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## Snowbody

Lynn - I think that once our loved ones stop eating or drinking it's a sign that they just can't keep fighting the good fight anymore. It is just too much to go through and they decide to put the decision for the future in their own hands. I've had several relatives and parents of friends do this. Kind of "enough is enough." It's very sad but Jerry has gone through more than most people could bear for several years now. I think that hospice care will help him and give him piece of mind and dignity. I'm so sorry about all of this. :smcry: Please take care of yourself too with all this stress. Hugs, kisses and prayers to Jerry and to you. :grouphug:


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## Madison's Mom

Lynn, I'm so sorry to hear that things are not better. I will keep you both in my prayers.


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## edelweiss

No more words, Lynn---just "you are a well loved & beautiful, caring person & we all hurt when you hurt." our unified love and undying prayers.:wub::wub:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

edelweiss said:


> No more words, Lynn---just "you are a well loved & beautiful, caring person & we all hurt when you hurt." our unified love and undying prayers.:wub::wub:


Lynn, I couldn't express my thoughts and feelings about you any better than Sandi has so eloquently done here.

Lynn ... I love you, dear friend.


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## lynda

Lynn, I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for both you and Jerry.:grouphug::grouphug:rayer:rayer:rayer:


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## maggieh

Lynn - I agree with Sandi and Marie. There are no more words to say except that we love you and are here for you.

Maggie


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## Furbabies mom

Praying for strength and comfort for you Lynn. God Bless You !


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## The A Team

Lynn, you and Jerry are going through such a hard time....it's so sad that life has to be like this sometimes.. Hospice is good. I've been through the process a couple of times now. They are very kind and compasionate people. It's all about the patient...and that's what it should be. If you need me, I am here....


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## harrysmom

Lynn,

Sending hugs and prayers. We're here for you if you need to talk. Take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Debbie


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## MalteseJane

Snowbody said:


> Oh Lynn, it's so hard.:smcry: And I know from the past that Jerry isn't exactly the most compliant patient. :innocent: He must really feel like crap to say he's feeling worse. I'm hoping that maybe as bad as things are that it might move him up the list for the pump or a heart. Do you know if that's possible?
> 
> I can imagine he wouldn't want to do dialysis. I've known friends with loved ones who had it and they had no life really although I'm sure *I've heard that these days they can set up a dialysis unit in one's home*...where'd I hear that? Maybe a news medical report. It was much easier on patients and their families. Maybe someone comes in to do it with them? Have no idea but if that would help maybe it's worth investigating, though as you say his heart's the issue.
> 
> I know from my mom that CHF takes it's toll every time you go into one of these episodes and with every one of them, it's harder to come back from them ad they're so much more depleted. I'm praying for some plan of action. You're caught in a very rough spot especially with his daughter not "getting it." Wish there was more I could do then pray but that will have to do right now. :grouphug:


Yes. I know somebody in France who has diabetes and he needs dialysis and he does it at home.


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## MalteseJane

For any body who has a loved one in Hospice or close to go to an Hospice, I would recommend the book "The Final Act of Living - Reflections of a longtime Hospice Nurse" from Barbara Karnes, RN.


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## Maisie and Me

Still prayingrayer:rayer:rayer::grouphug:


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## Lacie's Mom

Jerry is getting worse with little to no kidney functions. He does not want to do dialysis -- especially after watching what my Mother went through for her last 5 months. I don't blame him as it isn't really the kidneys that are the problem -- it's the heart. He's soooooooooooo tired and has told me that he just doesn't have any fight left in him. He is still on morphine for the pain from the muscle spasams. The doctors did try one more drug today that was their last hope and it didn't make any difference. We will be moving him to Hospice tomorrow (the one next to Thunderbird Hospital for those in the Phx area -- can't remember the name right now). Jerry's primary care physician that has been through all of this with us for over 20 years is a Hospice provider and that is the one he is with.

I really thought I was prepared for this -- and mentally I am, but emotionally I'm a wreck. Had a really bad crying jag this afternoon, took a couple of Xanax and a few more antidression meds and pulled myself together, but now I'm at Jerry's Condo along with my 3 girls and have been crying for the last hour or so. Secret doesn't seem to notice; Tilly is very concerned but doesn't know what's going on and is just sticking to me like glue and Lacie, my heart dog, is washing away my tears and doing her best to comfort me.

I know that Jerry has given up the fight when he wouldn't let me bring Nellie to see him today. She is staying with the couple that owned her sire and have one of her littermate sisters. They are good friends of Jerry's and have kept her several times when he wasn't well and also taken her hunting with him when he was unable to go, so she knows them very well. That is where she will continue to live once Jerry passes. She could, of course, come home with me, but we all agree that she would be much happier with the Roses as they are very active and will continue to walk her and take her out for "big dog" activites and hunting.

If my 3 weren't here, I would probably have just stayed at the hospital with Jerry.

I know that many of you have been through this with parents and other loved ones as I have with my Mom and my Dad. You're never truly ready. Jerry is my ROCK and I will be soooooooo alone without him. As many of you know, I have no family of my own -- no brothers or sisters, no Mom, no Dad, no Grandparents, no children of my own. I have 3 cousins -- 2 that are 10 & 14 years older than I am and 1 that is 18 months younger. I haven't ever been close to them and haven't seen them since I was 16.

I just feel so alone, so old and so helpless right now. 

Thanks you for letting me vent and for the many, many prayers that you've said for me and for Jerry.


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## CloudClan

Lynn,

I don't know what to say except my heart breaks for you and for Jerry. I can well imagine how "alone" you feel, but I do hope your friends can bring you comfort in this very difficult time. Sending more prayers for strength for you. rayer:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Lynn, it is the middle of the night on the east coast ... and, yet, you have friends here who truly love you and are thinking about and praying for you night and day. You don't have any close relatives ... but, you do have a huge family here who loves you. It's not just words, Lynn. One does not have to always be related by blood lines to be part of a close family. Often adopted children are the most loved members of a family ... that't the only way I can think right now to express what I think. So, although most of us live at a considerable distance from you in miles ... we are here for you.

However, I can only imagine how alone you feel right now. You are going through the saddest time of your life at the moment. It has got to be such a helpless feeling when there is not much you can do to make things better. 

I would call you, but, I will do that later. If you need to talk ... you know that you can call me any time. And, in the meantime, if there is anything I can do from this end, please let me know. Please don't be afraid to ask for help. We need to make sure that you stay as healthy as you possibly can through this stressful and very sad time in your life. You have so, so many people that love you, Lynn.

My heart is breaking for you. I really wish all of your SM family could physically be there for you right now ... to hug you and comfort you.

Jerry and you are in my prayers. 

I love you, darling Lynn.

Marie


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## maggieh

Lynn - my heart is breaking for you right now. I'm praying for comfort and peace for both of you.

And, you are not alone. You have your fluffy girls, and your many friends and SM family who love you and are here for you. And, who are crying with you. Peace to you, my friend.

Maggie


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## Summergirl73

Lynn, I was checking for an update on Jerry just now, and saw your post. You DO have family, just the chosen kind. You have each of us. I'm on the East Coast (in VA) and if you EVER need a change of scenery and a place to respite, please come and stay with us. We would gladly welcome you and your babies any time. My heart breaks for you. The only wisdom that I can share is to let those tears fall. Just let them pour. Whenever they want to fall and without apology. They are your connection to your spirit....it's part of the healing. Truthfully it's the only thing that helps.... that and time. Please keep us posted on how you and Jerry are doing. Big hugs, prayers and love. ♥


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## aprilb

Lynn, I am so sorry.:smcry::grouphug:. You are not alone..your SM family is here for you..:crying:"Heavenly Father, you know the depth of suffering and pain that Lynn and Jerry feel. Sometimes what happens in our lives does not make sense to us. I pray that your mercy, grace, love, and strength will surround them both. In Jesus' Name. Amen." We love you, Lynn!:heart::heart::grouphug:


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## cyndrae

Oh Lynn if I could come to you I would. My heart hurts for you and Jerry.
Lots of prayers coming your way.


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## romeo&juliet

Oh Lynn prayers are out in this home for you DH and for you and your family May God be of strentgh and love in such time of need and pain.


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## Snowbody

Lynn - no matter how prepared one is when someone they love is going through a severe chronic illness they are never really prepared when the time comes. Tears and sadness are natural and warranted. :crying: After all you've been through with Jerry, and all his rallying it's hard to imagine a different scenario, though I know you knew this day would come. Just try to focus on the fact that Jerry is very tired of the struggle to stay alive after what he's been through and longs to be at peace now on his own terms. I think he's also probably relieved now about your living apart, because it has taught you how to do so and be self sufficient rather than relying on him.

I do hope, as others have said here, that you know that we ARE your family. We are for the most part a sisterhood here, and since I never had a sister there are so many women on SM whom I wish were related to me, and you're at the top of the list. We're here when you're happy and celebrating but also when you're sad and feel alone...any time of the day or night. And we all feel like we're there with you, sitting by Jerry, in his condo crying or even when you go off to sleep at night. You've been such a driving force for good here on SM that you are adored by so many...two and four legged 
I will be praying for Jerry, that this journey on earth will end peacefully and that his next journey will be brightness and light. Reach out to us when you need us. We love you. :hugging:


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## The A Team

Lynn, we are here for you. I feel awlful about what you and Jerry are going through. My heart is breaking with yours...

I don't know the words to make you feel better...or I'd say them. But I am thinking of you and praying for some kind of comfort for you.


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## babycake7

Lynn, I am at a loss for the right words to express what I feel. Please just know that I am thinking of you and praying for you.


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## pammy4501

Lacie's Mom said:


> Jerry is getting worse with little to no kidney functions. He does not want to do dialysis -- especially after watching what my Mother went through for her last 5 months. I don't blame him as it isn't really the kidneys that are the problem -- it's the heart. He's soooooooooooo tired and has told me that he just doesn't have any fight left in him. He is still on morphine for the pain from the muscle spasams. The doctors did try one more drug today that was their last hope and it didn't make any difference. We will be moving him to Hospice tomorrow (the one next to Thunderbird Hospital for those in the Phx area -- can't remember the name right now). Jerry's primary care physician that has been through all of this with us for over 20 years is a Hospice provider and that is the one he is with.
> 
> I really thought I was prepared for this -- and mentally I am, but emotionally I'm a wreck. Had a really bad crying jag this afternoon, took a couple of Xanax and a few more antidression meds and pulled myself together, but now I'm at Jerry's Condo along with my 3 girls and have been crying for the last hour or so. Secret doesn't seem to notice; Tilly is very concerned but doesn't know what's going on and is just sticking to me like glue and Lacie, my heart dog, is washing away my tears and doing her best to comfort me.
> 
> I know that Jerry has given up the fight when he wouldn't let me bring Nellie to see him today. She is staying with the couple that owned her sire and have one of her littermate sisters. They are good friends of Jerry's and have kept her several times when he wasn't well and also taken her hunting with him when he was unable to go, so she knows them very well. That is where she will continue to live once Jerry passes. She could, of course, come home with me, but we all agree that she would be much happier with the Roses as they are very active and will continue to walk her and take her out for "big dog" activites and hunting.
> 
> If my 3 weren't here, I would probably have just stayed at the hospital with Jerry.
> 
> I know that many of you have been through this with parents and other loved ones as I have with my Mom and my Dad. You're never truly ready. Jerry is my ROCK and I will be soooooooo alone without him. As many of you know, I have no family of my own -- no brothers or sisters, no Mom, no Dad, no Grandparents, no children of my own. I have 3 cousins -- 2 that are 10 & 14 years older than I am and 1 that is 18 months younger. I haven't ever been close to them and haven't seen them since I was 16.
> 
> I just feel so alone, so old and so helpless right now.
> 
> Thanks you for letting me vent and for the many, many prayers that you've said for me and for Jerry.


From Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:
“How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.”

Lynn, you have many arms here holding you up. You are not alone. I believe we choose who is our "true family" members are. You may not have close blood family, but you do have family. And one family is right here on SM. Giving your a big virtural hug right now!!
:sLo_grouphug3:


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## donnad

Lynn, my heart is breaking for you. You are not alone. You have everyone here who loves you. Please take care of yourself.


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## Katkoota

I read your latest update in FB lynn and so very sorry that he is getting worse  lots of (((hugs))) & prayers :grouphug:


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## Maisie and Me

Lynn, you are so much more of a rock than you know!!! You are our rock. we all love and admire you. I know we all wish we could be there with you to support you but know our hearts are right with you:grouphug::grouphug::smootch:rayer:.


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## LuvMyBoys

Lynn, I have no words, other than I am so sorry that you and Jerry are gong thru this. I am thinking about the two of you.


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## LexiMom

Lynn
I am so sorry you are going through all this - I wish there was something I could do to help you! As mentioned in another post you are not alone - we are all here for you and you are our ROCK so we will be yours now. We all love you and we are here for you! You and in my thoughts and prayers


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## Madison's Mom

:sLo_grouphug3:
I so wish we could all be there with you.


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## MoonDog

Lynn, you've been on my mind and in my heart all day. I am with you in spirit and echo all our other sisters who've assured you, you are not alone. And you never will be. Sending love and white light and many, many prayers.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

MoonDog said:


> Lynn, you've been on my mind and in my heart all day. I am with you in spirit and echo all our other sisters who've assured you, you are not alone. And you never will be. Sending love and white light and many, many prayers.


Me too, Lynn ... you have been in my thoughts and prayers all day long. 

I hope you feel the love we are all sending you ... you are not alone. Our hearts are breaking along with yours.

Love and Hugs,

Marie


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## socalyte

Lynn, I just want to tell you that you have been in my prayers all day. I looked it up on mapquest and Phoenix is only 6-7 hours away-- if you want or need someone there, let me know and I'll hop in my car. 

I agree with the others here-- there is biological family, and then there are heart sisters and brothers that we choose. I feel very blessed that my heart family includes this wonderfully caring group of people here on SM. 

Please don't hesitate to call if you just want to talk or cry and have someone who will listen. And I mean it-- I'll come if it will be a help in any way. 

Big hugs.


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## Hunter's Mom

*hugs*


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## KAG

Oh Lynn,
Please know my heart and prayers are with you and Jerry. 

It's good to cry, sweet girl. Get it out. Please take comfort in knowing that you'll never be alone because you have us. 

I'm praying for you all, babies included. 
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo


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## reanut1379

I'm just now reading about this. I haven't been on SM for too long, and I didn't know about Jerry's health. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, and I will most certainly be keeping you in my prayers.


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## angel's mom

Oh how our hearts ache with yours. Our arms yearn to reach out and hold you close, to let you sob on our shoulders and use our strength to help you through this. You have my number, call anytime. Get some rest, sweet friend. Jesus is on duty and sitting with Jerry. Hugs


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## Lacie's Mom

Thank you so much for all the prayers and kind words. They did not move Jerry to Hospice today. For some reason, Michelle, his daughter requested that they try one more drug via IV. Jerry agreed although his Cardiologist was trying hard to discourage it. It didn't seem to do much and the plan is to move him tomorrow. His heart is currently pumping at only 9%. He's on morphine for the muscle spasams and pain from his kidneys not functioning. It's very hard for him to do anything -- between how weak he is from his heart function and the drugs, he mostly drifts in and out and only sometimes seems very lucid.

One odd thing (at least to me it was odd) was something he asked me just before I left for the night. His question was, "Have you been back to THAT church since I've been gone?" It took me by total surprise and I had to think a minute to figure out what he was talking about.

We moved to New Mexico a little over 6 years ago the week before Thanksgiving. That year for Christmas, we went to midnight Mass at a church close to our house. Having been to many Christmas Eve services, both protestant, catholic and non-denominational, I was SHOCKED with this service. Instead of talking about the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, which is the natural theme for a Christmas Eve service, this Priest began talking politics. Brush was President at the time, and this Priest began talking about how bad his policies were and about the wars, etc. etc. Now, I'm not much of a Brush fan, but -- this was not something I had expected at Church -- ESPECIALLY ON CHRISTMAS EVE. When we left (and the only reason we stayed was so that I could take communion) both Jerry and I looked at each other and swore that we'd never return to that particular church. And, althought it's close to my house, and I have no idea if that particular Priest is even still there, I have not set foot back in that church.

I guess I'm telling you this story because of Jerry asking me about the Church. I am guessing that God is on his mind, even subconsciencely. Haven't thought about that story in several years. Interesting how the mind works.


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## allheart

Lacie's Mom said:


> Thank you so much for all the prayers and kind words. They did not move Jerry to Hospice today. For some reason, Michelle, his daughter requested that they try one more drug via IV. Jerry agreed although his Cardiologist was trying hard to discourage it. It didn't seem to do much and the plan is to move him tomorrow. His heart is currently pumping at only 9%. He's on morphine for the muscle spasams and pain from his kidneys not functioning. It's very hard for him to do anything -- between how weak he is from his heart function and the drugs, he mostly drifts in and out and only sometimes seems very lucid.
> 
> One odd thing (at least to me it was odd) was something he asked me just before I left for the night. His question was, "Have you been back to THAT church since I've been gone?" It took me by total surprise and I had to think a minute to figure out what he was talking about.
> 
> We moved to New Mexico a little over 6 years ago the week before Thanksgiving. That year for Christmas, we went to midnight Mass at a church close to our house. Having been to many Christmas Eve services, both protestant, catholic and non-denominational, I was SHOCKED with this service. Instead of talking about the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, which is the natural theme for a Christmas Eve service, this Priest began talking politics. Brush was President at the time, and this Priest began talking about how bad his policies were and about the wars, etc. etc. Now, I'm not much of a Brush fan, but -- this was not something I had expected at Church -- ESPECIALLY ON CHRISTMAS EVE. When we left (and the only reason we stayed was so that I could take communion) both Jerry and I looked at each other and swore that we'd never return to that particular church. And, althought it's close to my house, and I have no idea if that particular Priest is even still there, I have not set foot back in that church.
> 
> I guess I'm telling you this story because of Jerry asking me about the Church. I am guessing that God is on his mind, even subconsciencely. Haven't thought about that story in several years. Interesting how the mind works.


Lynn, that is something that dear Jerry brought that up. We love you, we are with both you and Jerry, and yes, God is on both your minds, as He truly is watching so closely over you, and by both your sides. Bless the both of you.


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## SammieMom

I am so sorry Lynn. Prayers for you and your husband.


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## Furbabies mom

Lynn, I can't get you off my mind. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My prayers are for you and Jerry that he'll have peace and you'll have strength and comfort.


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## The A Team

I'm sorry Jerry's daughter isn't ready to accept his fate just yet. It's so hard to do even though it would be better for Jerry if she was thinking of him at this time instead of herself - it's so hard to do when you are in that situation.


You are wiser and thinking of his comfort at this point. I don't envy you at this time...been through it....everyone here on SM actually made my mother's passing a bit easier in my mind. It's good to have someone to talk to..to express your fears and emotions. And we are here for you.

I hope Jerry's daughter realizes his comfort is more important at this point than to keep sticking him with needles.


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## edelweiss

Lynn, the closer we get to heaven, the easier it is to hear/recognize God's voice (maybe that is what Jerry was saying to you when he asked about that church?). The world has a way of drowning out important sounds.
Just in case you used up all the love that your SM friends have been sending your way, we are here today w/a fresh supply. We aren't going anyplace so use it freely! :wub::wub:
There are some things we can't control, even w/a plan, and we have to just let ourselves fall apart into the loving arms of our God, our friends and our babies. It is like the free-fall of a trapeze artist, the work is left up to the catcher---not the faller. :smhelp::smhelp::smhelp:
Our prayers rayer::yes:will catch you, Lynn. We love you. We are your family.:grouphug:


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## Maglily

No, you aren't alone Lynn. So many are thinking of you and sending more prayers your way.


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## revakb2

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Jerry.


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## Snowbody

Lynn - you and Jerry are on my mind all the time. :grouphug: I hope that you can feel the love that we're all sending you.
What an odd thing for Jerry to say...given the way your experience at THAT church went. :blink: Maybe it was just free association and he was thinking about religion and because that was so unusual, it popped into his mind. When they are in and out like that, you never quite know what they will say. Or it could be his way of telling you to go to church and pray for him. You could ask him today why he brought it up.
I'm so sorry his daughter is in denial and hope that she will embrace hospice and Jerry's comfort and needs. Sending lots of hugs to you all.


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## *Missy*

I cannot imagine what you are going through right now Lynn and I am truly so sorry. Please know that I have been praying for you and Jerry as well.


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## educ8m

Sending some more love your way today, Lynn. I continue to pray for your strength and for Jerry to find some comfort in whatever time he has left in his physical body. I believe his spirit will be with you forever. :grouphug:


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Darling Lynn ... I am continuing to pray and think about you and Jerry around the clock. Prayers for the rest of his family ... and, the fluff and fur babies, too. 

And, just another reminder that you are not alone. We all love you so much.


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## chichi

Sending thoughts and prayers,Lynn.:grouphug:


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## LexiMom

Thinking about you and Jerry and wanted to send some love your way


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## CeeCee's Mom

Just as you said to begin with, that you were thinking about the good times you had years earlier and then you just broke down, Jerry is also thinking of when you both were together.....LOVE:heart: is so strong Lynn. I am so sorry you are going through this but God is the master in all of this. He will comfort you and Jerry. Make it as peaceful as you can for Jerry. We are here for you when you need someone to listen.....


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## Deborah

You and Jerry are in my prayers. My dad was in Hospice to make him comfortable. I was ready to let him go and was prepared for the outcome. Hope his daughter figures this out by herself.


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## Snowbody

Lynn - thinking of you and Jerry tonight. :grouphug:


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## michellerobison

Thinking about you and Jerry today...

I understand Jerry's feelings on dialysis.I'm in stage 4 kidney failure and I would rather die than do dialysis too. I keep fighting it, seems like so many I know die not long after they start. I do know a couple people who lived a long time on it,but they were on a cycler at home, they did it nightly.


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## Sylie

Lynn, I just want to send you love. Nothing else I can do. Loosing your mate or a child is the hardest hand life deals us. It is hard and painful to loose a parent, but it is the natural course of life. I just hope you have spirit guides or angels to get you through this very hard time. You have so very many friends who treasure you, who never met you, but feel respect, admiration and love for you. I am one of them. Although I cannot hold you and comfort you in person, please accept my virtual hugs.


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## Lacie's Mom

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers and for the many pms that I've received. I will answer when I can, but it's truly wonderful to know how much love and kindness you have all shown me.

We are still waiting. Jerry is in Hospice and is off of all the meds that would help his heart or his kidneys, but that have him very comfortable with morphine and other pain meds. The Hospice that he's in is very nice, and his primary care physician is the Director for this group of Hospices.

Only God knows how much longer my dear Jerry will be here on Earth, but I know it is only a matter of days at the most. 

This is very hard to watch as you're just sitting and watching your loved one and waiting for them to pass. 

Because of the drugs, he isn't really very lucid and is somewhat confused most of the time that he is barely awake. I would love to have one last meaningful conversation, but that doesn't look promising. He did call me on Sunday or Monday when I was gone from the hospital to let the fluffs out and said "I'm not doing well, but I love you." And then he say Goodbye. I will always cherish that phone call.


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## CeeCee's Mom

Lynn, Bless you, so sorry you are going through this. I know it is so hard to say good by. Drugs are a blessing to keep your loved one from pain but it hinders the saying goodby, so you are in the waiting stage right now. I wish I could be there to at least sit with you and be there just for you. Do you have support from the people at the hospice? God Bless and keep us informed when you can....I know this is a hard journey to take.:heart:


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## hoaloha

Lynn, I can only continue to pray for you that God would hold you and wrap his arms around you through this time. Sometimes, we feel so weak and powerless when we're supposed to be our strongest. We are here for you and hope and pray that our words and virtual hugs will bring some comfort to you. Don't hold back from telling jerry anything you want as he may be able to comprehend deep down in his heart. ::hug::


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## Rocky's Mom

Oh Lynn, I know what you went though and will continue to go through beng at Hopsice. The nurses were helpful angels. I hope and pray Jerry's nurses are like my Mom's. They will make him as comfortable as can be.

Remember to take care of you too lady!:wub:


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## Summergirl73

Lifting up prayers Lynn. ♥


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## TLR

Oh Lynn I know you will forever cherish those words. Prayers are with you.


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## The A Team

Lynn, I am so sad for you....

of course I am sad for Jerry too, he is dying....but this is going to happen, and at least he's not in any pain. You, my friend must go on...which at times may even seem harder.

You are strong...stronger than me. We are here for you. I look at the angel you sent me when my mom died, I think of her...and I think of you.


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## aprilb

Dear Lynn, I wish I could be there to wait with you. I'm glad your dear Jerry is resting comfortably. God bless those hospice folks. "Heavenly Father, please give Lynn your strength and fill her with your peace which 'transcends all understanding.' In Jesus' Name. Amen.:grouphug::grouphug:


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## Maisie and Me

Dear Lynn,
I know this is sooooo difficult for you but try to close your eyes and feel all the love and support we are all sending you, the room is just full of all of us praying with you :wub:.


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## MoonDog

Lynn, in the few days my Daddy lay dying at home (we had in home Hospice care), nothing he said made any sense. He slept 90% of the time. Once though, he "snapped out of it" and we had a very lovely conversation. It only lasted a few minutes, but I was so happy for it. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and most of all, in my heart.


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## Rocky's Mom

Lynn, I'm thinking of you and Jerry. Please know that my prayers are with you at this difficult time. 

love Dianne xo


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## S&LP'S Mommy

michellerobison said:


> Thinking about you and Jerry today...
> 
> I understand Jerry's feelings on dialysis.I'm in stage 4 kidney failure and I would rather die than do dialysis too. I keep fighting it, seems like so many I know die not long after they start. I do know a couple people who lived a long time on it,but they were on a cycler at home, they did it nightly.


I'm a Vascular Sonographer and work with a vascular surgeon. About 40% of my patients are on dialysis. I can't begin to tell you the improvement I see from the first day they walk in to when they start there dialysis. Dialysis helps many people extend there lives. Yes, I know there are many downfalls and many adjustments in people's lives, But it is necessary for survival. Yes, People can choose to have dialysis at home, but it is not for everyone. It can even been done while you sleep. My patients range from mid 20s-90s. Everyone is different but I have witnessed first hand many patients quality of life improved. 

Sorry I went off the topic. I just know how serious it can be when patients refuse dialysis. It happens often.



Lacie's Mom said:


> Thank you all for your kind words and prayers and for the many pms that I've received. I will answer when I can, but it's truly wonderful to know how much love and kindness you have all shown me.
> 
> We are still waiting. Jerry is in Hospice and is off of all the meds that would help his heart or his kidneys, but that have him very comfortable with morphine and other pain meds. The Hospice that he's in is very nice, and his primary care physician is the Director for this group of Hospices.
> 
> Only God knows how much longer my dear Jerry will be here on Earth, but I know it is only a matter of days at the most.
> 
> This is very hard to watch as you're just sitting and watching your loved one and waiting for them to pass.
> 
> Because of the drugs, he isn't really very lucid and is somewhat confused most of the time that he is barely awake. I would love to have one last meaningful conversation, but that doesn't look promising. He did call me on Sunday or Monday when I was gone from the hospital to let the fluffs out and said "I'm not doing well, but I love you." And then he say Goodbye. I will always cherish that phone call.


Lynn, I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know what loosing a spouse is like but I do know what loosing a love one. I lost my grandmother last year, she was also on hospice. I arrived 10 hrs to late she had already been put on Morphine I didn't have the opportunity to have that one last conversation with her. To this day I cry everytime I think of her. 

I hope you know everyone here on SM loves you! You are a great person and I really wish there was something I can do to ease your pain. I do believe although he is in a daze he hears you. Tell him everything you want him to know. Keeping him comfortable is the best gift you can give him. Will keep you and Jerry in my prayers and thoughts.


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## KAG

I know how weird it is when life is going on all around you like normal, and you're loosing one of the most important people in your world. My heart and prayers are always with you Lynn. I'm so sorry.
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxox


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## educ8m

Lynn, just wanted to send my love again today. I think of you all the time. I know you will always cherish those last words from Jerry. He may be holding on for you. I remember crawling into the bed to hold my dad and was finally able to say to him, "It's okay, Daddy. You can go now. We'll be okay." He died within a few hours of that. I know losing a parent is very different than losing a spouse, I can't know how you feel. I can only offer you support.


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## socalyte

Lynn, be sure you have a back-up of that message-- I lost my mom's messages through some weird Verizon issue, and it breaks my heart to this day. Either tape it or reproduce it by some means-- some of the more techie people may be able to help you with that. 

Big hugs-- my prayers are with you.


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## edelweiss

Lynn, I am astonished to see how many wonderful women love & support you with such loving words, prayers and heartfelt care---not because you don't deserve it, but it just shows how much you have invested in so many over the years, and how you have endeared yourself to us. We are in pain with you, because you hurt---we hurt. It is a bond that you have woven around yourself w/us---and we are present in your situation.
I pray God will give you a few lucid moments w/Jerry---where you can speak your heart to him. 
We join together to ask God for this grace. Our love, dear Lynn.


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## Furbabies mom

Thinking of you today, Lynn. My daughter still keeps her late husband's cell phone turned on, to hear his voice . May God be with you in this time.


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## Snowbody

Lynn - thinking of, and praying for, you and Jerry every day and every night since you let us know. This is such a hard time for you and hoping that the love from everyone here helps to ease the pain. I agree that you should tell Jerry everything you want and need to. I think that they hear at least some of it. Praying for peace and serenity for Jerry.rayer:


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## Summergirl73

Lynn, I just wanted you to know that we leave for vacation in the morning, and I don't think we will have internet access. I wanted you to know that I will be praying for you all. Big hugs.


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## Lacie's Mom

Just got back from Hospice to feed the fluffs and take them for a little walk. Needed some warm hugs, so, of course, I turned to my SM family.

I do believe that Jerry is very close to the end. He is asleep most of the time, but tries to get up whenever he has an urge to go to the bathroom. He doesn't seem to understand that I had them put a catheter in him, and today he was too weak to get on a bed pan to poop, so he is now wearing diapers. I know that he doesn't want to live like this and I want to respect his dignity.

Today I had the Last Rites said for him. He was too drugged to respond, but I responded for him and it brought me a lot of peace. Neither of his daughters are Catholic, although I am and Jerry was brought up Catholic. So I also had the Hospice Chaplain pray with us earlier in the day.

And I took Lacie with me for the day. She gave him nose licks, but he didn't seem to respond. She was very, very good and did bring joy to many of the other Hospice patients.

Thank you again for being here for me. You really have no idea how much each of you mean to me. You are such a wonderful group of ladies and I love each of you.


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## MalteseJane

:grouphug::grouphug::crying:


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## The A Team

I'm glad you took Lacie in with you today.....she can give everyone a smile....which, I'm sure is really needed in that facility.....


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Lacie's Mom said:


> Just got back from Hospice to feed the fluffs and take them for a little walk. Needed some warm hugs, so, of course, I turned to my SM family.
> 
> I do believe that Jerry is very close to the end. He is asleep most of the time, but tries to get up whenever he has an urge to go to the bathroom. He doesn't seem to understand that I had them put a catheter in him, and today he was too weak to get on a bed pan to poop, so he is now wearing diapers. I know that he doesn't want to live like this and I want to respect his dignity.
> 
> Today I had the Last Rites said for him. He was too drugged to respond, but I responded for him and it brought me a lot of peace. Neither of his daughters are Catholic, although I am and Jerry was brought up Catholic. So I also had the Hospice Chaplain pray with us earlier in the day.
> 
> And I took Lacie with me for the day. She gave him nose licks, but he didn't seem to respond. She was very, very good and did bring joy to many of the other Hospice patients.
> 
> Thank you again for being here for me. You really have no idea how much each of you mean to me. You are such a wonderful group of ladies and I love each of you.


Darling Lynn ... I have had you in my thoughts and prayers all day long. I feel so sad thinking about what you and Jerry are going through. I swear that if I could travel ... I would be there to hold your hand and hug you when you felt you needed someone close by you.

Something tells me that if you just tell Jerry that you love him ... he will hear you. I would guess that is all he might want to hear right now ... "I love you"

I do keep checking in for updates ... and, also to once again remind you how loved you are by all of us. 

I continue to pray for both you and Jerry. I love you, Lynn.


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## Madison's Mom

I'm so glad you were able to take Lacie with you today. I'm sure she was a lot of comfort to you. 

Love and hugs.


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## Summergirl73

~♥♥♥~


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## aprilb

Yes, bringing Lacie was a great idea. I believe that Jerry can hear and feel, even though he cannot respond. I wanted to check in before going to bed. Good night dear Lynn. Sending prayers and love your way. :heart::heart::heart: I will "see" you in the morning.:grouphug::grouphug: May God comfort you...


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## TLR

Lynn, glad you were able to take Lacie with you today. I am sure it was comforting to have her with you. You have been heavy in my heart and thoughts and I pray Jerry will remain comfortable. I am sure that he knows you are there even if he can't respond. Virtual hugs to you.


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## Maglily

It's nice that Lacie kept you company and visited Jerry today, and the other patients.
I like to believe that he could sense her there and it was a comfort to him too.


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## ann80

We are here for you. :grouphug: You remain in our prayers!


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## Snowbody

Lynn - you and Jerry are my first thoughts in the morning and last thoughts before I go to bed at night. I'm right there with you.:smootch: I'm glad that you brought Lacie. Jerry may well have felt her presence, and I'm sure she helped you through the stress of sitting around and definitely helped others at hospice.:wub::wub: Please take care. :grouphug:


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## furevermy2luvs

Lynn I don't post on here much but had to tell you how very sorry I am that this is happening to you and Jerry. It is so hard to lose a spouse and I know that from first hand experience. My husband died suddenly in his sleep 11 yrs ago. I didn't think I could go on without him but I did because you have to. There is one thing I want to tell you and this may be hard for you to do. Being a nurse I know this to be true in many cases. Some patients try to hold on for the family instead of just passing on. There are times when especially if there is no hope and no quality of life left and you know they are suffering, that you need to TELL them that it is okay for them to leave and go be in the arms of Jesus. Now, this is not an easy thing to do but it is my belief that it's the right thing to do. You can get close to his ear and whisper how much you love him and don't want to lose him but tell him it's okay to let go. Tell him that you will be okay and not to worry about you. He CAN hear you. Lynn I think you know how well thought of you are on here and that we are all praying for you. I am like the others, wish I was there to give you big hugs and a shoulder to cry on. Will continue to pray for you.


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## LexiMom

Lynn, I too wish I could reach out and give you a big hug - I am glad that Lacie was there with you today and I am sure she was a huge help to others in hospice but especially to you. Ever since I joined SM you have been a friend to me and I wish there was more I could do to help you


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## The A Team

furevermy2luvs said:


> Lynn I don't post on here much but had to tell you how very sorry I am that this is happening to you and Jerry. It is so hard to lose a spouse and I know that from first hand experience. My husband died suddenly in his sleep 11 yrs ago. I didn't think I could go on without him but I did because you have to. There is one thing I want to tell you and this may be hard for you to do. Being a nurse I know this to be true in many cases. Some patients try to hold on for the family instead of just passing on. There are times when especially if there is no hope and no quality of life left and you know they are suffering, that *you need to* *TELL them that it is okay for them to leave* and go be in the arms of Jesus. Now, this is not an easy thing to do but it is my belief that it's the right thing to do. You can get close to his ear and whisper how much you love him and don't want to lose him but tell him it's okay to let go. Tell him that you will be okay and not to worry about you. He CAN hear you. Lynn I think you know how well thought of you are on here and that we are all praying for you. I am like the others, wish I was there to give you big hugs and a shoulder to cry on. Will continue to pray for you.


I agree with you on this. When a friend of mine was dying...another friend told her it was ok...she could go and have her eternal rest if she wanted. My friend told her that she couldn't because she and I had some issues...:w00t::w00t:. (she was staying at our home) So I had to go in and have a talk with her...I told her it was ok and that everything would be alright, with her cat, etc. She passed the next morning. I did keep her cat, even though I wasn't thrilled with it, LOL.


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## aprilb

I am thinking of you and Jerry this morning..please post when you can. :grouphug::heart::heart:


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## cyndrae

Oh Lynn....praying for you and Jerry. You are in my thoughts and heart.


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## Snowbody

Thinking of you and Jerry, Lynn. Sending love. :grouphug:


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## Madison's Mom

You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi

Lynn, I'm sitting here thinking about how wonderful it was talking with you on the phone in February. We talked a long time and had such a great conversation. I remember asking you abou Jerry ... how he was doing. You and Jerry have both gone through so much with his being sick. And, on top of that ... you going through so much with your cancer treatments. What I remember when talking with you ... is that you never complained about it all. I only heard you talk about your love and devotion to Jerry. 

You are one of the strongest women I know. But, as others have shared with you ... it is okay to cry and let the tears flow. Again, I wish I could be there holding your hand, hugging you ... and, gently wiping away your tears.

I loved your voice on the phone ... gentle, so kind, and loving. I can hear you whispering in Jerry's ear that you love him. He will hear you. It's only a short matter of time before angels lift Jerry up into the light and into the arms of Jesus ... where Jerry will no longer feel pain or discomfort. He will feel peace and joy. 

I love you, darling friend, Lynn.


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## maggieh

Lynn - thinking of you this morning. Love to you, my friend.


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## chichi

Thoughts and prayers are with you, Lynn.:grouphug:


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## edelweiss

Lynn, if you have a minute I want to send you a song Josh Groben sings---do you know it: "You lift me up"---it seems to suit you for today. Our special love, sandi, kitzi & Lisi


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