# Do dogs hold grudges?



## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

We left Ollie home all day yesterday, which is rare that we do that. (we went to the beach for the day). The few times I have done this he just acts so aloof towards me for the next few days. Not as cuddly and paying more attention to everyone else BUT me. In the a.m. he usually stays in bed with me even after Pete gets up but today he followed Pete instead, etc. Makes me feel super guilty. Today Pete is going to do some errands and bringing the girls (skin kids) and I think I'm going to stay home and spend time with Ollie, lol.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

My inclination is to say that they don't hold grudges but is it possible that you act differently toward him in these situations? I know that they are so in tune with our own actions and changes that maybe his actions are based on that ??


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

Yes, they get their little feelings hurt when you go off, even for a short period of time. When I come home CeeCee acts like she doesn't know me for a short while. It just kills me!!!!! When I come in I am ready to hug her and calling her name, she will run to me and then turn around and run in the opposite direction, so funny!!!! She soon warms up thought. Give little Ollie lots of love today, they soon forget and are just as loving as always!!!! I think they just pout a little because you have left them all alone.


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## Nikki's Mom (Feb 13, 2008)

I haven't heard of that dogs hold grudges, though I may be completely wrong. Someone please correct me if that is the case, because I'd like to know. Dog behavior is fascinating to me.

I know that smaller dogs are very sensitive, but it doesn't appear that a canine's thought process works like a human's. Humans get angry or hurt and retaliate by acting aloof. Although it sure seems that our dogs act that way sometimes. I think that dogs have to "get over" the separation anxiety by being aloof for a while, but I don't exactly know why they do it except maybe they are hurt that you left them. But that's different than holding a grudge, right?


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## tellywoo (Feb 1, 2008)

I've heard they don't--but one of my friends has a yorkie, and this dog definitely holds grudges! She hates getting her frontline every month, and after it goes on, she won't even come NEAR my friend for the rest of that day and won't sleep with her in bed that night!! If my friend comes over and pets my dogs or someone else's dogs, same thing- Baby ignores her completely!!!!!


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## camfan (Oct 30, 2006)

QUOTE (Nikki's Mom @ Jul 13 2008, 10:58 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=604509


> I haven't heard of that dogs hold grudges, though I may be completely wrong. Someone please correct me if that is the case, because I'd like to know. Dog behavior is fascinating to me.
> 
> I know that smaller dogs are very sensitive, but it doesn't appear that a canine's thought process works like a human's. Humans get angry or hurt and retaliate by acting aloof. Although it sure seems that our dogs act that way sometimes. I think that dogs have to "get over" the separation anxiety by being aloof for a while, but I don't exactly know why they do it except maybe they are hurt that you left them. But that's different than holding a grudge, right?[/B]


Yeah, I know that "grudge" is a people-behavior word, but I didn't know how else to phrase it. All I know is that something in his little head is out of whack whenever his routine is disrupted and he seems to take it out on me for some reason!


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## thinkpink (Sep 25, 2004)

I know alot of people say they are incapable of holding grudges. Any of those people are more than welcome to come to my house, put any form of hat on Bella's head, and then wait for the cold shoulder. It's taken 4 years but I've learned there are certain things I'm not allowed to do if I want my dog to love me back.


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

I think it is not a good idea to direct human emotions on dogs. 

Anytime a dog's schedule is changed drastically (and suddenly in this case), it can throw them out of whack. You see puppies forgetting housetraining, older dogs acting off, etc. You changed what he knows and now he's just a little unsure. 

IMO, the best course of action is to treat him as normally as possible and do not fuss over it. He'll fall back in gear in no time.


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## Deborah (Jan 8, 2006)

All I know is that Rylee gets mad at me when I groom her. She avoids me and will sit with anyone else but me. She still comes to bed at night.


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## k/c mom (Oct 9, 2004)

QUOTE (JMM @ Jul 13 2008, 12:15 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=604543


> I think it is not a good idea to direct human emotions on dogs.
> 
> Anytime a dog's schedule is changed drastically (and suddenly in this case), it can throw them out of whack. You see puppies forgetting housetraining, older dogs acting off, etc. You changed what he knows and now he's just a little unsure.
> 
> IMO, the best course of action is to treat him as normally as possible and do not fuss over it. He'll fall back in gear in no time.[/B]


What a great way to say it... this makes total sense.

So, the Frontline example, the hats... and Ollie's situation ... it's not that they are holding grudges or mad... they just had something "different" done to them... something that may feel uncomfortable and they react with apprehension afterward.... 

So in Deborah's situation... she is avoiding her because she (Deborah) is the one who did that "thing" to her ... so Rylee wants to make sure it doesn't happen again.... right?


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## Deborah (Jan 8, 2006)

You are so right! No one else in the house will even pick up a comb or brush because they know what reaction they will get. That makes me bad guy number 1!


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

I don't think Matilda holds grudges,  but if I leave her for even 5 minutes, I get barked at for a couple minutes, :shocked: one time I walked outside and she followed me barking all the way, :yes: the neighbor ask if something was wrong with my dog


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

QUOTE (Matilda's Mommy @ Jul 13 2008, 09:29 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=604771


> I don't think Matilda holds grudges,  but if I leave her for even 5 minutes, I get barked at for a couple minutes, :shocked: one time I walked outside and she followed me barking all the way, :yes: the neighbor ask if something was wrong with my dog [/B]


 :HistericalSmiley:


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

QUOTE (tiffany @ Jul 13 2008, 12:06 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=604536


> I know alot of people say they are incapable of holding grudges. Any of those people are more than welcome to come to my house, put any form of hat on Bella's head, and then wait for the cold shoulder. It's taken 4 years but I've learned there are certain things I'm not allowed to do if I want my dog to love me back.[/B]




I chuckled at Bella giving you a cold shoulder. My previous maltese Misty would certainly give us the cold shoulder after we came home from vacation. Rather than sit in our lap or beside us, she would sit at our feet with her body turned away from us, and she wouldn't make eye contact. There was definitely a behavioral change and it took her awhile to get warmed back up to us.


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

QUOTE (JMM @ Jul 13 2008, 12:15 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=604543


> I think it is not a good idea to direct human emotions on dogs.[/B]




I think there's a lot of us who have a natural tendency to interpret pet behaviors in human terms. Granted, there's some differences in how different species think/feel, but I was thinking that I have read (I can't remember exactly where right now) that they are finding out that dogs are more emotionally complex and do experience more emotions than previously thought. I'll try to remember where I've read this and if I can find it online, I'll post a link. 

Although dogs can't verbally tell us how they're feeling, we can deduce a lot about how they're feeling from their body language and their vocalizations. Also, there's a lot clinically which can be analyzed with lab tests - like dopamine levels when pleasurable events occur and stress hormone levels when something negative occurs. With brain scans (I want to say PET, but I'm not certain of this), changes in the brain can be observed for positive and negative stimili and compared to human emotional responses.

Maybe I'm a just an anthropomorpher, but I'm certain I see all kinds of emotions not just in our dogs, but all our farm animals. 





Joy


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

Dogs certainly have emotions. I never said otherwise. How else would they be afraid of things or upset?

But it seems people run into trouble when they interpret their dog's behavior in the context of *human* emotions. I think the most common one is "My dog peed because he/she was mad I left". In reality, it is almost always lack of housetraining and too much freedom or anxiety at being left. So when somebody babies their dog because they think it is mad, they don't realizing they're adding to the dog's anxiety...


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

I never would have believed dogs hold grudges..but Benny has proved this otherwise. He has been holding a grudge against my mother for over 6 months now!!! A little background.....my mom owns a yorkie named Rex...well Rex loves to play w/B&E but can get a little pushy w/Benny when it comes to food and bones....he just doesn't let Benny win ever. I don't know if he associates that Rex's Mommy is my Mom, but she ever my mom comes over or we go to her house, Benny will go up to my mom, roll on his back, but REFUSES to kiss her! He'll kiss everyone else, but my mom. He literally will turn his head the other way when she goes to kiss him! She tries to give him extra TLC and attention when she sees him, but he won't give in. Talk about a heck of a grudge!!!


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## llf060787 (Nov 19, 2007)

We all think our fur babies are smart, but I don't think we do them justice. Their intelligence sometimes amazes me. They're capable of holding grudges and being upset. Last night I flatly refused to give Bianca any human food treats while we were having dinner. She barked and whined the whole time. When we were done she made gruffing sounds and then lied down spread eagled facing the opposite way from where I was sitting... basically giving me her rear end.  She refused to budge even when I called her and for the rest of the night she made sure that where ever she sat or lied down, she wasn't facing me. She even spent the night sleeping on the hardwood floor in the hallway instead of on my bed. She was ticked off and wanted us to know it. :smmadder:


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

For sure they get angry and hold grudges. I used to have a Lhasa (my soulmate) and whenever she got really upset with me, she would go to the end of the bed -- as far from me as she could get but still be on the bed -- and then she would turn her back to me. If I didn't properly notice that she had turned her back, she would get up, make a big deal of turning her back to me until I noticed that she was upset with me. :smrofl:


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