# How do you handle rude house guests?



## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Yes we are dog sitting again, my in-laws shih-poo. She's a nasty little wench, likes to growl-a lot. I don't tolerate growling. She growls at the boys all the time-when she's sitting next to me and they want in my lap. I normally push her off the sofa when she does.

Tonight, she is sitting in her crate and the crate is currently covered because I'm utterly sick of the constant growling I hear when the boys stop by to check her out. I put her in there with her food-she refused to eat yesterday evening, this morning and tonight. They constantly complain about how difficult it is to get her to eat but she sure as heck is eating something-she's obese. I'm assuming she gets table scraps. Not here ma'am. Dog food for you, yes, you are a dog-shocking huh? 

Even my little princes who get pampered and dressed up know they are dogs.

I am not trying to be nasty with her I have her covered to get some peace from the boys, I think they make her anxious. She is grating on my nerves though, no lie there. 

She doesn't even sit on command and honestly I don't see the point in teaching her-but, how do you guys deal with rude little doggie houseguests? Any experience with them trying to push your own kids around? 

Mostly I make DH deal with her because I don't have the patience for little female dogs who act like female dogs-if you know what I mean


----------



## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

She sounds really unhappy. Does she growl when her mom is around?


----------



## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

Madison's Mom said:


> She sounds really unhappy. Does she growl when her mom is around?


Yes she growls at my mother and father in-law both. I honestly can not tell if it's fear, or resource guarding or some of both. I KNOW she's not abused by any stretch...but it all still seems like it's anxiety related to me.


----------



## Sylie (Apr 4, 2011)

Try to remember that she is just a little dog. She may have been brought up badly and without manners, but it isn't her fault. Try to find a place in your heart where you can feel her soul and love her. She doesn't know any better. She probably isn't really nasty, just lacking in manners. Imagine yourself...or one of your babies, left alone with someone who does not like you. Let her into your heart and good things will happen.

Little dogs who live with humans who are do not provide a sense of security usually feel an overwhelming amount of responsibly and do their best to fulfill it. The child is forced into the role of the protector, because the parents are clueless. She is reacting to a situation in which she cannot trust her caregivers and has to be braver than she feels. Not you...her regular parents. If you can just put your ideas aside and FEEL this little soul, perhaps you can offer her the comfort she needs to relax while in your care.


----------



## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

Sounds like anxiety and a lot of spoiling....


----------



## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

I would "board" such a dog in another room when crated so my dogs are not bothered. Then I "trade" dogs to give the boarder 1-on-1 attention. Hand feeding can be a valuable bonding time with a dog that is only in the house temporarily.


----------



## eiksaa (Jun 8, 2012)

I wouldn't accept a houseguest I was not comfortable with, human or dog. But now that she's with you, I agree with what Sylvia said. I know I wouldn't like anyone pushing Gustave off their couch.

As hard as it might be, compassion and patience is key, specially if a dog is being difficult. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Dominic (Nov 4, 2012)

I would like to say so many things to you, Shelly but with all your harsh words and calling a dog you offer to watch nasty, obese and so on, I believe you are in deep need for some love, either to give or receive. 
Your words have upset me in a way I wish I had skip this thread. I wish you never have to leave your dogs with someone that ended to hating them as you are hating this dog. If you can't stand her, why on Earth are you watching the dog. Please, don't tell me you had to, that's bs. 
Sylvia had the right, kind words for you and I hope you take those to your heart.


----------



## Madeleinesmommy (Nov 30, 2012)

I've only dog babysat a few times and I've had really good experiences. I would call your in-laws and try to find a suggestion on how to get her to eat even if you have to feed her human foods. She might mellow out more if she sticks to her normal routine of what she is eating at home? If I were you I'd probably try to keep them seperated and give her some one on one attention. I'm sure she is extra on edge since she's not at home with her owners.

Maddie is really scared around other dogs (besides ours) and I could just imagine how scared she'd be.

How long do you have to watch her?


----------



## shellbeme (Mar 1, 2011)

jmm said:


> I would "board" such a dog in another room when crated so my dogs are not bothered. Then I "trade" dogs to give the boarder 1-on-1 attention. Hand feeding can be a valuable bonding time with a dog that is only in the house temporarily.


This is a great idea  thanks for the suggestion.

Hmm I don't hate this dog but she does irritate me. Again in law situation and DH agreed to watch her without consulting me first. Why ever anyone would be so deeply offended by this thread I'm not sure. The word obese is not an insult it is a state of being, and unfortunately she is.

 Again I don't hate her but I don't intend on doing any soul bonding either! What I would really like is just for her to relax but I'm not sure how to make that happen for her.

On a good note DH got her to eat tonight, though he stood there and gave her little bits of food at a time.


----------



## socalyte (Nov 15, 2010)

I wonder if something like Rescue Remedy or Ark Naturals would help your "houseguest." It does sound like she is tremendously insecure and feels the need to be dominant for some reason. It definitely sounds like stress to me of some sort. 

Hopefully you'll find an answer to your situation, because it sounds like no one in your household is happy right now.


----------



## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

Sylie said:


> Try to remember that she is just a little dog. She may have been brought up badly and without manners, but it isn't her fault. Try to find a place in your heart where you can feel her soul and love her. She doesn't know any better. She probably isn't really nasty, just lacking in manners. Imagine yourself...or one of your babies, left alone with someone who does not like you. Let her into your heart and good things will happen.
> 
> Little dogs who live with humans who are do not provide a sense of security usually feel an overwhelming amount of responsibly and do their best to fulfill it. The child is forced into the role of the protector, because the parents are clueless. She is reacting to a situation in which she cannot trust her caregivers and has to be braver than she feels. Not you...her regular parents. If you can just put your ideas aside and FEEL this little soul, perhaps you can offer her the comfort she needs to relax while in your care.


Ahhhhh.... :goodpost: :ThankYou:


----------



## hoaloha (Jan 27, 2012)

Shelly, I just finished watching my MIL's dog last week. I was also irritated by certain behaviors like barking AT people and always begging for food. She isn't to blame since its my MIL who lets her get away with that stuff. As annoyed as I was, I did realize that she is probably more on edge since she's in a new environment. I did work on teaching her good behaviors (ie. not jumping on the couch) for our house so that she knows how to behave in our home for future visits. Dogs can feel our emotions and frustration so try to breathe and let her settle in before expecting too much. By the 2nd or 3rd day, she was much more relaxed and we were all much happier 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Shelly - you've gotten some great suggestions, particularly giving her a place where she feels safe (in another room maybe) and can relax and trying rescue remedy. Good luck - hopefully the time will pass quickly for you all!


----------



## Yogi's Mom (Jan 6, 2013)

Sylie said:


> Try to remember that she is just a little dog. She may have been brought up badly and without manners, but it isn't her fault. Try to find a place in your heart where you can feel her soul and love her. She doesn't know any better. She probably isn't really nasty, just lacking in manners. Imagine yourself...or one of your babies, left alone with someone who does not like you. Let her into your heart and good things will happen.
> 
> Little dogs who live with humans who are do not provide a sense of security usually feel an overwhelming amount of responsibly and do their best to fulfill it. The child is forced into the role of the protector, because the parents are clueless. She is reacting to a situation in which she cannot trust her caregivers and has to be braver than she feels. Not you...her regular parents. If you can just put your ideas aside and FEEL this little soul, perhaps you can offer her the comfort she needs to relax while in your care.


 
*Very well said and i agree. Nickee in Pa**


----------



## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Sylie said:


> Try to remember that she is just a little dog. She may have been brought up badly and without manners, but it isn't her fault. Try to find a place in your heart where you can feel her soul and love her. She doesn't know any better. She probably isn't really nasty, just lacking in manners. Imagine yourself...or one of your babies, left alone with someone who does not like you. Let her into your heart and good things will happen.
> 
> Little dogs who live with humans who are do not provide a sense of security usually feel an overwhelming amount of responsibly and do their best to fulfill it. The child is forced into the role of the protector, because the parents are clueless. She is reacting to a situation in which she cannot trust her caregivers and has to be braver than she feels. Not you...her regular parents. If you can just put your ideas aside and FEEL this little soul, perhaps you can offer her the comfort she needs to relax while in your care.


 
I like your answer.:thumbsup: 

remember it would be hard for us, or her, to relax if we were in a house that yes we were cared for but only really tolerated. I would separate them too - not in a closed room but just out of reach. Even if it meant setting up a line of boxes to separate the living room and dining room or hall, (mine isn't a climber or jumper so it would work for me).


----------



## spookiesmom (Mar 28, 2010)

Let me turn this around a bit. Suppose this was your in laws staying with you. You decide to make a wonderful dinner for them. You work hard to make it special. They come in and say they don't like it, won't eat it. What do you say. Shut up and eat it? Or, there's the kitchen, help yourselves.

From the sound of you post it's shut up and eat. Why should it be different for a dog, who is defenseless. In this case?

As for pushing her off the couch, I'd be livid if someone did that to my dogs. Her growling, she is scared and upset about being at your house. Lighten up with her


----------



## educ8m (May 19, 2010)

Shelly, I am sorry you are so frustrated. It seems like you have a lot going on in your life right now, and being "forced" to dogsit has added to your anger at life. A few days ago you posted that you had just experienced the worst week at work in your whole career and that even Tucker, your favorite, was irritating you to no end. It sounds like you are trying to juggle a tough job, kids, dogs, a husband who doesn't consult you, and perhaps inlaws you don't like. From the outside looking in, it appears that you are taking your stress and frustration and heaping it all on your in-law's little fur girl. At times like this you really do need to be able to safely vent and get some support. We are here for you. However, I ask you to step back and see why your post is also upsetting. There is a defenseless little dog in your care that you called "a nasty little wench," that you push off the couch, that you add, "you are a dog-shocking, huh?" 

I know that because you are in your own state of frustration right now, it might be difficult, but take a step back and try to think like the dog. She is away from her own secure environment, her mommy and daddy are gone (or owners if you prefer since she is _just_ a dog), instead of just two people, she is now surrounded by children and two other dogs, and behavior expectations are different. You have been given several good suggestions. I hope they help. I also hope you can escape for a few hours for some YOU time. This might be a good time to treat yourself to a massage or a pedicure and manicure. 

You also owe it to your in-laws to have an honest conversation with them. Explain to them that with your stress at work and your own family life, you won't be able to dog-sit for them anymore. You can do it without bashing their dog, but you know that your house is not what is best for this little fur girl. It is difficult for most of us to leave our babies; I would be heartbroken to think I left mine with someone couldn't stand them. They would be better off in a kennel than around those toxic feelings.

I sincerely hope life gets easier for you soon.


----------



## theboyz (Jan 10, 2007)

Shelly, your in-laws need to find an "in home sitter" for their baby. I did not even see that you posted it's name. The little dog needs the security of it's own home and not a hostile environment. We have fostered many dogs and many were frozen in fear and would growl. I promise you that getting down on the floor, at their level, and sharing your kindness will win in the long run. Feeling special and loved and in a loving home is all they ask. Takes time and energy.


----------



## babycake7 (Jan 30, 2012)

:goodpost::goodpost::goodpost::goodpost:


educ8m said:


> Shelly, I am sorry you are so frustrated. It seems like you have a lot going on in your life right now, and being "forced" to dogsit has added to your anger at life. A few days ago you posted that you had just experienced the worst week at work in your whole career and that even Tucker, your favorite, was irritating you to no end. It sounds like you are trying to juggle a tough job, kids, dogs, a husband who doesn't consult you, and perhaps inlaws you don't like. From the outside looking in, it appears that you are taking your stress and frustration and heaping it all on your in-law's little fur girl. At times like this you really do need to be able to safely vent and get some support. We are here for you. However, I ask you to step back and see why your post is also upsetting. There is a defenseless little dog in your care that you called "a nasty little wench," that you push off the couch, that you add, "you are a dog-shocking, huh?"
> 
> I know that because you are in your own state of frustration right now, it might be difficult, but take a step back and try to think like the dog. She is away from her own secure environment, her mommy and daddy are gone (or owners if you prefer since she is _just_ a dog), instead of just two people, she is now surrounded by children and two other dogs, and behavior expectations are different. You have been given several good suggestions. I hope they help. I also hope you can escape for a few hours for some YOU time. This might be a good time to treat yourself to a massage or a pedicure and manicure.
> 
> ...




Many good points made in the above post. I hope things get better for you! It does break my heart that you called the little dog a nasty little wench.


----------



## IvysMom (Dec 24, 2012)

Sometimes we have too much going on in our lives and just can NOT handle one more thing. The little visiting girl may just be one thing too many for you, and your hubby should have told his parents that your house is full and they needed to find other arrangements. He needs to consult you before making decisions that effect you and HE needs to be the one to tell HIS parents they need to make other arrangements.

I hope their trip is a short one and the little girl can go back to her own home soon. Try to take some ME time to do some things for yourself that you enjoy, so that you can recharge your battery before going home to deal with all the demands on you. Even little dogs and kids we love with all our hearts can seem too demanding if we are drained dry. You have to take care of yourself first in order to have something within you to give to others. Hugs.



Just had another thought: How far away do his parents live? Maybe he could offer to baby sit their dog in their own home next time. Someone would have to go by at least 4 times per day, but that might be less stressful for all of you, including the dog, if she is in her own environment and not upsetting your own pups. Yet your hubby could still feel good that he is helping out his parents.


----------



## CorkieYorkie (Apr 10, 2012)

I agree that she's just a dog, and it's not her fault if she has no manners or is stressed out being away from home, but I can also understand your frustrations and where you're coming from.

I would say that if her being there is stressing you out like this, then don't dog-sit for them in the future. Unless you or your husband are willing to spend some 1-on-1 time with her so she feels a little more comfortable. I woudl definitely keep her in another room so her and your boys aren't as stressed. 

Also, why not try and work with her and teach her some 'manners' and/or tricks? Teaching a dog to sit, at any age, doesn't take too long! I love my future in-laws and would try working with them to improve her behavior. Maybe if they worked on some stuff with her, she wouldn't be such a pain when/if you dog-sit her again in the future.


----------

