# Bittersweet and also sort of heartbreaking



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

Hey guys!!! 
first I need to apologize for the sad rambling but I need to get this out of my chest and I do t know any other place where people can understand me.
I’ve had my baby Mac for almost 16 years. I’ve been in this forum si crazy the day I got him in 2006 even though I haven’t been active here for quite a few years. 
for the past 16 years I have learned so much with my Mac, and so so much about dogs in general. I especially learned a lot about breeding for the betterment of the breed and I swore that I would do my best to always do right by the breed. 
i lost my baby. 😭😭😭😭😭 it still seem so unreal. 
man’s really looking for a new dog after losing one (he was my first) has a complete different meaning and feel from when I was looking for Mac! It’s bittersweet for sure but for the past 2 weeks it’s been the only thing that gets me out of the bed in the morning. 😢😢
It is exciting and… hopeful. 
but I never expected to be heartbreaking as well.

i do understand how abs why reputable breeders want their puppies to have the best homes and the best parents. I would do exactly the same. 
but that means, from our side of the story, it becomes quite a anxious process. 

i mean… there aren’t that many reputable breeders out there. In my state for exmaple I found ONE.
There’s one in NY that I knew as well so he was the first one I contacted. Regis Prado. 
he was great. Answered me right away, I sent an application, listed my references… but l, he explained, he is planning a litter for the winter. Which means puppies won’t be ready until next April. He put me in the list, and since I want a female… I do understand how nature works. He may have a little planned but it may not happen when he is planning… and he may not have a female. So he won’t check references and make a decision or even let me know what number I am in the list until the littler is born. 
i did it anyways. Because he is great and his dogs are beautiful and so loved. 
then I thought. I’m gonna wait until December and what if… there’s no female? Or there’s one and it’s reserved? What if there’s a female but he doesn’t pick me? 
then of course I started doubting myself as a dog owner because omg what if he doesn’t pick me? 😭
So it’s better to get myself on more than one list and talk to more breeders? 
I decided to do that. 
my forger top choice was a breeder close to me who seems to be great. I love her website and I keep going back over and over to look at her pups and read about her. 
but… she doesn’t call me back, or email me back. Nothing. I don’t know what to do. In the mean time u talked to a very nice breeder from Virginia (and god almighty I forgot to ask her name. She is from White Castle Maltese. 
msgs is great and said she will have alittle in June or august. We talked for a while and she put me in the list! She said if she can she will help me get my puppy do I guess she “picked me”. Which is a comfort. I am also on another waiting list with another breeder inVirginiia, Debbie Hicks.
But… Dina hunter is close by. She has puppies that seem to be available sooner… 
Am I wrong for insisting with her since she never calls me back? Am I wrong for wanting a puppy sooner than September or October? Is it the u inverse telling me to wait? 
i feel so empty and this whole process is making everything so much worse. 
yesterday someone asked me if I have kids. I don’t. And when everyone asked me that before I said I have a dog. My mackie is my baby! And now I have nothing. I never wanted kids. All I ever wanted was to have dogs. 
and this wait abs doubts, mixed with my anxiety is so so heartbreaking.
I do understand now why people buy dogs at a pet store, or look for backyard breeders or anyone interested in making a buck. Because it’s easier. Less heartbreaking process. But I do understand it can be heartbreaking later… but you know what I mean.

ok. I’m sorry. I am rambling too much and now I can’t even see the screen through my tears. Sorry for the typos. Lol

thanks for letting cry on your shoulders.


----------



## mss (Mar 1, 2006)

I'm so sorry about your loss. After so many years, it's hard to be without a beloved dog.

I don't think there is any harm getting on several lists for future litters. 

How long have you been trying to get in touch with Dina Hunter? Maybe she is just temporarily very busy, away from home, or has something else preventing her from responding right away. 

Would you consider a rescue? Your experience would probably make you a great home for a rescue. I think the American Maltese Association Rescue has become a lot more active on the east coast in recent years.

I hope you find a new heart dog, even if it takes longer than you would like. {{{{}}}}


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

mss said:


> I'm so sorry about your loss. After so many years, it's hard to be without a beloved dog.
> 
> I don't think there is any harm getting on several lists for future litters.
> 
> ...


thank you! =( 
I've been trying to talk to her for 2 weeks. I don't call or message everyday. you are probably right, but I don't know... I thought people called back... you know? I got Mac 16 years ago, and I called once, the woman picked up, (she doesn't breed anymore) we talked, she told me which puppies were available. she sent me pictures. I chose the boy, I paid, Mac was in my arms a week later. 
I do understand waiting for litters and things like that, but this thing of not answering the phone or not calling back??!? that's what's stressing me out. =( a lot. you know? 

when I was researching and looking for my Mac, I thought of a rescue. actually that was my first choice. but I wanted all the years you know what I mean? the more the better. 16 wasn't even enough. 😭😭 that's why I wanted a puppy then... and now. 

I keep telling myself that maybe these things are happening because the right dog is waiting for me at the right time... but it's so hard not knowing... 😭😭😭😭


----------



## mss (Mar 1, 2006)

I read in another of your posts that you were told she was involved in shows when you called. I bet that is it -- it is a busy time and hopefully she will get back to you before long. I looked at her website where she had some puppies listed, but I am guessing it is not very current, as most of them are marked "adopted." It looks like she breeds real beauties. Anyway, don't give up hope!


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I'm the East Coast coordinator for AMAR and live in NY too. We rarely get puppies unless they have serious health problems. There's a FB site that has reputable Maltese Breeders and they very often have posts of their new litters. I have a good friend who went to Dina. Went to meet the puppy she was supposed to get and then Dina backed out. It was so distressing. This was the second time I heard her disappointing people so I don't refer people to her anymore. That friend went to Cheryl Filson, one of the breeders on that FB page, called her and had a whole different experience. She felt better just talking to her. She got a terrific, beautiful puppy and just flew down one day and back with him.


----------



## Lilly’s Mom (9 mo ago)

I am so sorry for your loss. When I lost my Samee Girl I went to the AKC breeder site and was able to find an excellent breeder. We added Lilly to our family and although she is not Samee, we have been thrilled with her and she gets lots and lots of love. You might try their website to find a puppy close to you. Keep trying, you won't regret it!


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

mss said:


> I read in another of your posts that you were told she was involved in shows when you called. I bet that is it -- it is a busy time and hopefully she will get back to you before long. I looked at her website where she had some puppies listed, but I am guessing it is not very current, as most of them are marked "adopted." It looks like she breeds real beauties. Anyway, don't give up hope!


The dog show was on the weekend. I saw the posts because her dog won. And it was in Rhode Island which isn’t too far from us.
and I also wasn’t Sure about the dogs available but since I started checking it, some of the puppies were crossed out. They weren’t before. So she seems to be updating that. 🤷🏽‍♀️
i thought of all those possibilities that’s why I checked. But regardless. Even if all of those are adopted these breeders work with waiting lists. I contacted a woman in MA and she said her waiting is over 2 years. So idk I’d believe that just because she may not have any dog available now doesn’t mean she can’t call me back. You know?
I am honestly very close to giving up. I want to do the right thing and get a puppy from the right breeder but this is much harder than I expected


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

she emailed me, and I just called her. 
conversation was short because I work. So she said she can’t help me. 
It didn’t matter that I can come home in the middle of the day and have a great pet sitter who is a friend Who also come in between. 
she would sell me 2 dogs but not one because someone needs to be at home ALL THE TIME. 
I guess only the privileged can have her dogs. Makes sense for a breeder is Weston CT.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

Lilly’s Mom said:


> I am so sorry for your loss.  When I lost my Samee Girl I went to the AKC breeder site and was able to find an excellent breeder. We added Lilly to our family and although she is not Samee, we have been thrilled with her and she gets lots and lots of love. You might try their website to find a puppy close to you. Keep trying, you won't regret it!


Thank you! 
I did check the AKC site. Not many breeders close by. 
I called one in MA, no answer. left A msg, no call back. 🤷🏽‍♀️
but I ended up calling a breeder in Virginia. Who was the only one who was amazing. I mean I called 2. One didn’t even talk to me even tho she was home. Twice. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Her husband said they got my number and would call me IF they had puppies. Is this how getting on a list is? So I wait and wait on her so she can call me when she has puppies 6 months later just to tell me she won’t. Sell me one for this and this reasons? 😭😭😭😭
the other one tho was amazing, Briarwood Maltese, we talked and she said she may have puppies in June but it was too soon to know if her girl is pregnant. Again no idea if this is what getting on a list is, but I guess I’ll wait for her and see because this is literally destroying my heart 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and I read that blog that talks about buyer’s etiquette? 
it does say to no get in more than one list, which I get it. From a breeder perspective, I get it. You reserve a puppy to someone, turn down other people, just to learn last minute that they got a puppy from someone else. I get it. 
but what about when you get in a list. You wait 6, 8 months... a year like they said in the article, you wait and wait any wait... and then they say no? And you were loyal. And you got in one list only like it says you should do. Because we shouldn’t get in more than one list, but they reserve the right to back out???????
or like in the case you want an specific gender, nature is in charge here, you can pick your breeder, be loyal, wait whatever many months is necessary and then... there are no girls, for example.
I used to get so frustrated when I saw people buying dogs from pet stores. I was always like in this day and age don’t people know they are just giving business to horrible puppy mills that do awful things to these dogs??? 
but now I understand. 
this is just too hard. 
too too too too hard. 
and I am done. 
I will wait for Briarwood, and her only. If she has a puppy for me in a month or 2 I will drive 7 hours to Virginia to get my baby,
if she doesn’t.... I give up. 
I’ll look for a backyard breeder around here. 
some people can wait a year or more.... I don’t think I can


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

Snowbody said:


> I'm the East Coast coordinator for AMAR and live in NY too. We rarely get puppies unless they have serious health problems. There's a FB site that has reputable Maltese Breeders and they very often have posts of their new litters. I have a good friend who went to Dina. Went to meet the puppy she was supposed to get and then Dina backed out. It was so distressing. This was the second time I heard her disappointing people so I don't refer people to her anymore. That friend went to Cheryl Filson, one of the breeders on that FB page, called her and had a whole different experience. She felt better just talking to her. She got a terrific, beautiful puppy and just flew down one day and back with him.


that is so so so sad! I am so sorry this happened to your friend.
and it’s also such a hard thing because I do respect breeders being picky and putting the well being of their dogs first. This is so important. You know? You work for AMAR so you’ve seen it. I have a friend who works at the Nashville pug rescue and gosh... it’s so sad to see what some people do to their dogs.... 😭😭😭😭 so I completely understand.
but also....from this perspective.... from this side of the story.... all I ever wanted in my life was a dog. I prayed every single day for one... I never wanted to get married. I never wanted kids, all I ever wanted was a dog to call my own, and I couldn’t have one until I was out of my parents house. my Mac was my world. I did everything for him and with him. For 16 years he was the on,y one always by my side. Friends And boyfriends came and went and it was my pup and I against the world! And now... I am completely and absolutely LOST. 
I go to work and I come home (even tho I don’t even want to come home anymore because let’s face it. There’s NOTHING HERE) and cry. I spend my weekends in bed crying. The first time I actually wanted to get out of bed was when I decided to start looking For a puppy. It was the on,y thing that brought me a little bit of comfort. 
the only good thing about this is that I lost 10lbs.
so I get it why breeders are like this, and I respect them... but I can’t live like this for a year. 😭😭😭 
I want to do the right thing by the breed tho.... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


----------



## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

There is only one reputable breeder that I know of in MA and that’s Cynthia King.
Esctasy's Maltese
Email: [email protected]net
Phone (Home): 413-786-3811

White Castle is NOT a reputable show breeder.

I have never met Dina from Melitica but I have sent her alot of people, all who were very happy with their puppies.
Patience is very important in finding the right breeder and puppy. I would not rush it, even if you have to wait a year. Thats just my opinion for what its worth.


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

maddysmom said:


> There is only one reputable breeder that I know of in MA and that’s Cynthia King.
> Esctasy's Maltese
> Email: [email protected]
> Phone (Home): 413-786-3811
> ...


thanks for pointing that out. I actually got confused with the names. I did contact White Castle. I think she’s in MA, but she said her waiting list is at least 2 years. I didn’t even ask her any questions because of that.
the one I meant was briarwood. She’s in Virginia. She was the only nice one so far that took the time to chat with me. I am almost sure I am in her list. But I thought we had to pay some sort of fee?!? Since she didn’t say anything about it I’m not sure how concrete that is. 
i did call Cindy fern king.I have seen some people here calling her Cynthia but her name is Cindy. Joann, from Briarwood mentioned her saying she was the only breeder she knows up here. But she hasn’t answered me or called back. But when I was researching online I did see that she’s working with AMA I think. Or AKC and probably very busy with all the shows and stuff.

i joined a fb group and I saw a couple of people who Dina has said no to. It does seem her preferable dog owners are the rich and retired stay at home people who live in the country with plenty of yard space. She refuses people who work and live in apartments. She won’t even consider people who live in NYC according to a member of the group.
which is a bummer cause I do live in a cottage apartment with a HUGE backyard and private beach. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I am single and no kids. Everything I do is for my dog. My Mac was the center of my world. I work to give him the best care. He ate better than me, he had better medical care than me! He had all of me and more.

please understand that I am NOT disagreeing with you. I agree patience is important. I understand that waiting via part of it, especially when nature plays a huge part in deciding what’s gonna happen since no one can control how many puppies they are going to get or the gender of the babies. I do understand all of that.
but patience is hard and even painful when you feel you are drowning. 🤷🏽‍♀️
i want to do right by the breed. I want to do that to honor my baby and all that I learned with him. But those days when I can’t breathe or get out of bed, when the idea of waiting a year for a puppy just seems too much there’s a part of me SCREAMING that there are plenty of other ways.
Buying right is hard and I will never ever again frown upon those that go the easier way.
For the past few months quite a lot of my friends lost their dogs. 😭😭😭 they all got new puppies already. A couple got rescues. But most got puppies so I’m assuming they are not rescues. I doubt they went through the trouble of finding a reputable breeder but I totally understand now why! 😭😭😭😭😭😭


----------



## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

gattirenata said:


> thanks for pointing that out. I actually got confused with the names. I did contact White Castle. I think she’s in MA, but she said her waiting list is at least 2 years. I didn’t even ask her any questions because of that.
> the one I meant was briarwood. She’s in Virginia. She was the only nice one so far that took the time to chat with me. I am almost sure I am in her list. But I thought we had to pay some sort of fee?!? Since she didn’t say anything about it I’m not sure how concrete that is.
> i did call Cindy fern king.I have seen some people here calling her Cynthia but her name is Cindy. Joann, from Briarwood mentioned her saying she was the only breeder she knows up here. But she hasn’t answered me or called back. But when I was researching online I did see that she’s working with AMA I think. Or AKC and probably very busy with all the shows and stuff.
> 
> ...


I made the mistake of not wanting to wait, or doing more research when I got my oldest girl. It was right after I lost my Maddy. my whole family was heartbroken. What I ended up with is a very poorly bred, sick fluff who barely survived the first 3-4 years of life. Shes 9 yrs now and still continues to suffer from poor breeding.
i waited over a year for Suki and another year for Ling Ling and I would do it all over again to avoid adopting a dog from a BYB who only pump out puppies for that almighty dollar. Why in the world would anyone support that is beyond me. 
Regarding Cynthia. I do know before I adopted Suki, I had spoken to her,but It did take some time before she got back to me because of her involvement with her maltese. I remember sending an email a few times a week to say I was checking in and I finally heard back from her.
If your willing to travel, i would reach out to anyone on the AMA breeder list who dogs you may like.
Good luck.


----------



## Lilysdream (Aug 2, 2019)

I agree with Maddysmom,
if you are willing to travel, you can reach out to the AMA breeder list.
I travelled to get my marvellous dog because I wanted a maltese from Bonnie Palmer (Angels Maltese) who is in Florida.
I cannot be happier.


----------



## gattirenata (Jul 28, 2006)

I am willing to drive up to 7 hours. More than that I worry about the puppy on the way back. I drive to Florida all the time for vacations but I feel bad that to put a puppy through a long drive the first time we meet. Even the ones that are used to traveling because of the show ring it’s still different with a new person. Idk. So I think 7 hours is the max?!?

And I am not saying I don’t understand. I do know the risks. And that’s why I am trying my hardest to do the right thing by the breed. 
but like you said. It was hard on your FAMILY. You have a family and that IS some comfort. 
i didn’t just lose my dog. I lost my whole family. 
mim am NOT saying that my pain is worse than anyone else’s. What I’m saying is that I’m not dealing well to being all alone. 
i get Itú it’s my problem. And I’m trying to deal with it the best I can and Dario do the right thing. 
the uncertainty is what kills me the most. 
everyone tells me waiting is part of it and I fervor and I mentioned it before I’m ok with waiting BUT waiting doesn’t guarantee anything. And that the uncertainty I’m talking about. 
i can wait for a year and then be told there’s no females, or that they don’t think I’m good enough for their dogs. So I waited and… nothing. THATS what scares me!
Then the worry and anxiety of doing something wrong. Some say get in more than one list. 
the. That blog article says don’t get in more than one list… and now I’m like OMG😱
If I get in one list, wait a year to be told no, then get in another list to wait another year and be told no again?!? 
that’s my point why I understand people going the easier route. 🤷🏽‍♀️


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Firstly, thank you for wanting to "do right by the breed!" You WILL find your puppy if you stay engaged & present yourself as someone who is on a mission to get a quality pup. It would be a good idea to go to some dog shows, meet the people who show, ask good questions---let them get to know you & take the time to get to know them---not just as dog breeders but as genuine people. It has been my pleasure to get to know dog breeders all over the world who have a passion for maltese---that is how I learned most of what I know about maltese. Go to the library & get the classic books on maltese on build conversations around what you learn. Breeders will see how serious you are & will want to help you (at least that has been my experience). 
I have traveled the world w/one or two maltese in tow---don't restrict yourself to traveling only 7 hours---pups get used to anything pretty quickly & learn to be flexible. There are lots of tips w/traveling w/maltese with which others can help you. Try not to panic---believe that God has that little bundle that you so desperately want to give a loving home. . . use this time to "get ready" but stay steady in the process. Do not give up! Do not settle for less than a happy, well adjusted pup which you will not get at a puppy mill. Even a good dog can have health issues so don't start w/less than good. Joanne knows from experience!

We are here with you and can help you walk through this process. There are lots of people here w/a wealth of experience that can help. We are not here just for the acquisition process but as family that will be here after your pup comes home. Make yourself a part of the SM family & we will rejoice w/you in years to come! 

In the meantime---think about helping out either at a shelter or "pet sitting" for people who travel---that will help you & others & you could even earn extra cash you could put away toward quality dog purchase. Think creatively about the waiting period.


----------



## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

If you are on FB take a look at this site:
*MALTESE SHOW BREEDERS PUPPY AND RETIREE AVAILABILITY GROUP (USA ONLY) (Jenny Crumble Foster)*

Private group
·
2.3K members


----------



## Naomi (Nov 17, 2021)

gattirenata said:


> Hey guys!!!
> first I need to apologize for the sad rambling but I need to get this out of my chest and I do t know any other place where people can understand me.
> I’ve had my baby Mac for almost 16 years. I’ve been in this forum si crazy the day I got him in 2006 even though I haven’t been active here for quite a few years.
> for the past 16 years I have learned so much with my Mac, and so so much about dogs in general. I especially learned a lot about breeding for the betterment of the breed and I swore that I would do my best to always do right by the breed.
> ...


I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I can't even fathom the idea of losing any of my babies...


----------



## SouthernBelles (Feb 16, 2017)

Naomi said:


> I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I can't even fathom the idea of losing any of my babies...





Naomi said:


> I am sooooo sorry for your loss. I can't even fathom the idea of losing any of my babies...


My heart goes out to you. My first dog was a sweet 5 lb female maltese. No children too - so she was it. Loved her to pieces. I tried reading and speaking to almost everyone possible on caring for my little pup. Did all her grooming at home so no stress at the groomers with the exception of a quick nail trim. She passed away around 12 years old suddenly to SARDS. Truly devastating disease. I was in contact with several breeders throughout the country including deposits with Bonnie Palmer in Florida ( beautiful maltese dogs) for a female maltese. After several months no female pups from Bonnie. I also interviewed AlwaysMaltese in Arab, Alabama. They are amazing breeders. They contacted me with new female pups about 5 1/2 months after my maltese passed. I agreed and sent in my deposit for one female and the breeder's daughter flew with my new sweetie at about 14 weeks old. That was 9 months of anxiously waiting. Then because I mentioned I would like two (2) pups at some point. The breeder asked if I wanted a second female (sister of the my new pup). Apparently an health issued involved with the person next-in-line for a female pup so they couldn't take her as planned and the breeder thought the two dogs would be great together. So excited and nervous (never had two dogs) but it was truly a blessing to have litter mates. They are so much fun. I truly hope that your sweetie is on her way to you soon. Don't lose the faith and call as many breeders as you feel comfortable with their dogs.


----------



## Happinesstogo (Oct 17, 2015)

gattirenata said:


> Hey guys!!!
> first I need to apologize for the sad rambling but I need to get this out of my chest and I do t know any other place where people can understand me.
> I’ve had my baby Mac for almost 16 years. I’ve been in this forum si crazy the day I got him in 2006 even though I haven’t been active here for quite a few years.
> for the past 16 years I have learned so much with my Mac, and so so much about dogs in general. I especially learned a lot about breeding for the betterment of the breed and I swore that I would do my best to always do right by the breed.
> ...


Apologies aren't necessary. You're hurting and everyone here understands that. More than likely we've all lost a treasured pup. In 2015, I was so upset after my beloved Molly passed unexpectedly at 13 that I swore I'd never get another dog. Felt I couldn't handle the heartbreak.

It took me two years to feel differently and then I was actively searching. The problem was that it appeared that there were fewer Maltese puppies available and, definitely, fewer females. My hubby wanted another female. 

Had chosen two diffeent dogs from two different breeders and then been told the breeders were keeping them for showing. One still has my down payment if I ever decide to get another pup. However, at the time, my heart was set on the one that she chose to keep so I continued my search.

On Spoiled Maltese I received many good leads. Also, went to a Maltese Specialty Show in Asheville to make connections with breeders. Everyone was wonderful and tried to help me out. 

Eventually, I was called about a bit of white fluff that the rescue group had. I call him a Maltese Wannabe. He's a male and sweet as can be. He goes with me to schools and nursing homes as a therapy dog to bring joy to others. However, he's had medical issues, which perhaps he wouldn't have had if he'd been from a good breeder. 

I don't have any advice for you. Just want you to know that I'm sorry for you loss!

Lainie


----------



## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I second Edelweiss's (Sandi's) suggestion of the FB site: *MALTESE SHOW BREEDERS PUPPY AND RETIREE AVAILABILITY GROUP (USA ONLY) It's made up of show breeders who have to be accepted in the group. There are many and the best part is the list their puppies that are available now. There are some beauties there now and even if out of state they used trusted flight nannies who accompany the dogs in the cabin. My friend flew down to get her puppy from NY to FL. *


----------

