# For the married ladies:



## MandyMc65 (Jun 14, 2007)

Would you change how you got married?

I am curious about this. I know several people who have huge weddings, but I wonder if they ever regret spending so much $ or wish they would've had a smaller, more intimate wedding. The one I went to this summer (In Scotland) was incredible! They got married in a Castle with a Marble Chapel & Hall, had bag pipe band, and even had fireworks! 

So I'm curious... for those of you ladies (and gents) who are married, how did you get married and would you change it?

I'll set up a poll to make it easier 

Thanks!


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## PuttiePie (Nov 22, 2006)

We had a very intimate 80 person wedding, no obligatory invites. Each and every person there mattered and mattered in a big way. We read a toast to each guest ( couple)to personally thank them for attending our wedding and let them know how we felt about them...I would never do it any other way, I like to keep things real, am not the horse and pony show type at all...


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

The first time I got married it was a pretty big event (but not extravagant). It was my 19th birthday so the guests consisted of mostly my parent's and his parent's friends :smstarz: 


The divorce was more fun for me... :blush: ...(11 years after the wedding)


The next time, I skipped the wedding altogether :brownbag: . And here we are 22 years later. I still don't want to get married...  

And the next time....forget it, there won't be a next time. It's just me and the dogs after this.  

Men are nice and all, I just don't think I'm real good at living with them.


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## Max & Rocky (May 20, 2004)

QUOTE (2MaltMom @ Nov 24 2008, 01:55 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=676808


> Men are nice and all, I just don't think I'm real good at living with them.[/B]



LOL!!

I feel EXACTLY the same way about women!! :smtease:


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## jmm (Nov 23, 2004)

I answered for mine...my best friend just got engaged and is doing the huge wedding thing...I can already see the stress in her. I'm glad we kept it very small.


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

My daughter just got married. It was not huge, but it was very nice - simple but elegant. We had about 150 guests. The only extravagance at the church ceremony was the string quartet - it was something I wanted and she agreed to allow me. The ceremony music, however, was not traditional - the wedding party walked in to "The Feather Theme" from the Forrest Gump movie and she walked down the aisle to "The Yellow Rose of Texas" played very slowly on a single violin.

The reception was held in a local community center and we did all the decorating. A friend from work catered with heavy hors d'oeuvres, beer, wine and champaign (lemonade and PBJs for the kids). We had a DJ, a dance floor, and a professional photographer, but many amateur photographers! The cakes were made by the Matron of Honor's mother - a professional baker - as a wedding gift. We all held long sparklers as they left the reception - the pictures were great.

It was a lot of work, but it was perfect! Of course, only three weeks later they probably wish they had taken me up on the money/elope offer, but the wedding is something they'll never forget.

Oh....my first wedding was regular mid-'70s - home church and cake/punch reception. I, too, enjoyed my divorce much more than the wedding (25 years later!) I'm in a 8-year-long relationship now, engagement ring and all, but have no plans to make it "legal!"


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## lillykins (Oct 15, 2007)

There were 10 of us, including my husband and me.

Me, Tom, my mom & dad, Tom's mom & her sweetie, my sister (maid of honor), my sister's date (photographer), a best man & his wife.

After a ceremony by a judge under a tree in my parents' yard, we all went to brunch.
We told no one else we were getting married. 6 weeks later, we had a pig roast and invited all our friends and family.

I have no regrets about the ceremony, the party, nor the man I wed; I married the greatest man in the world 25 years ago and I'm more in love with him now than I was then. We used the money we didn't spend on our wedding to buy our first house. I was 23; he was 25.


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## LJSquishy (Feb 27, 2008)

I had a medium sized wedding, and if my husband and I could do it all over again, we both agree we would fly our parents/siblings to Vegas or Maui and get married there. The only thing I remember about my wedding day is: 1) It was not worth it AT ALL, 2) It went very fast, and 3) I remember seeing our immediate families, but don't remember really which guests were there. We didn't spend too much money on the wedding, but I still feel like we paid too much, considering we could have just used the money for something more worthwhile (like flying the family somewhere, etc). We honeymooned in Maui & Oahu.


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## vjw (Dec 20, 2006)

My husband and I were married in a medium church wedding 28 years ago. If I had it to do over again, I'd definitely go for a smaller, inexpensive wedding and go somewhere nicer for the honeymoon.






Joy


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## sassy's mommy (Aug 29, 2005)

We had a small intimate elegant wedding, only 50 or our closest friends and family were there. We had it at a very nice historic site. We had a nice sit down dinner that followed. We had 3 harpest that played our chosen wedding music for the ceremony. After the dinner we had a guy that played guitar accompanied by some background music. He was actually very good. It was a hugh success and I have to say, if I had it all to do over again I would not change a thing. 

A word of advice: do not waste you time, money and energy on people who are not really important to you. They will fall by the way side along the way and in 20 yrs. it will not make a difference in your life. Keep it simple and elegant.


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## wolfieinthehouse (Dec 14, 2007)

I had a small wedding, under 60 people in a friend's gorgeous house/backyard (amazing view of the S.F. Bay) and had a minister, guitarist, my friend sang Sunrise, Sunset and I catered the event (preparing the food in advance and having family serve it buffet style), and set up the rental chairs outside myself, I also, in advance prettied up the garden even more than it already was (planting things, having things clipped)....lol.

My folks paid for it....under 1k and I wore a $50 Gunne Sax dress from Macy's with a veil I made myself (came out great).

Now, I would either go to a Justice of the Peace and invite a few family/friends (less than I did) OR go with a more fancy but not bigger venue than I did go with.

I would not spend, or have my folks spend a lot of money on it. It just isn't something I find, personally, worth it.

I have been married 23 years now.


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## mimi2 (Mar 29, 2005)

We got married on the beach in Cancun and then had our reception on the patio of the hotel. It was elegant and intimate! We had 30 guests, it was perfect and I'd do it exactly the same way again! Go small - it's so much nicer!


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## 3Maltmom (May 23, 2005)

QUOTE (2MaltMom @ Nov 24 2008, 03:55 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=676808


> The first time I got married it was a pretty big event (but not extravagant). It was my 19th birthday so the guests consisted of mostly my parent's and his parent's friends :smstarz:
> 
> 
> The divorce was more fun for me... :blush: ...(11 years after the wedding)
> ...



LMAO ~ :smrofl: 

Me too. And you know, if I had it to do all over again, it would have a been a "shot-gun wedding".

Yep, I would shoot the SOB ~ :HistericalSmiley: 

Needless to say, I've been divorced for MANY years.


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## tamizami (May 1, 2007)

Charlie and I "eloped" in Hawaii - we planned it, I had a dress, flowers and a photographer, we had a ceremony on the beach at sunset, but no one knew about it beforehand. It was perfect for us and I would do it over the same way. Very romantic.

However, our favorite wedding (other than ours  ) was a very small destination wedding in Cabo. We really enjoyed staying the week with our friends and meeting more of their friends and family members. Apparently destination weddings are typically much smaller than traditional weddings, so if I were to have to chose a wedding other than eloping, this is what I would do.


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

we had a very formal, black tie required wedding, in a landmark NYC hotel on Park Avenue. It was a formal, NY themed wedding, and we pretty much went all out..from the band, to the flowers. I wouldn't change a thing b/c ALL of my guests had an amazing time. That to me was very important- that the guests enjoyed themselves tremendously. Our wedding was planned by myself, DH, my parents, and my wedding planner, and I felt that it reflected us as a couple very much. 

I think any style of wedding is fine, so long as it reflects you and your DH's personalities. There is really no "right" way or "wrong" way.


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)

We had a very casual medium sized wedding. Just close friends and family. I wouldn't change a thing...I think we did it right the first go round.


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## twoleeighs (Nov 1, 2008)

We had what I considered a "mid-sized" wedding - about 100 people, all family and friends (mostly on my side). It was outside in the garden of a beautiful B&B near Seattle (shocking that I got good weather for an outdoor wedding!). Our honeymoon was 10 days in Jamaica and was a gift from my ILs. It was a very magical day, I remember feeling like a fairy tale princess and we didn't have to go broke to do it.

I love my husband more and more each day, although we have our rough times, as everyone does. We have been married for 8 years (I was 20, he was 21), and I am looking forward to the next 80! 

A previous post said it all - there is no "right" or "wrong" way to have YOUR wedding - as long as you are happy!


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## domino_angel (Apr 17, 2008)

We sent out about 100 invites, and only about 30 people came!! It was in Mid-September, hot and ridiculously humid. Absolutely miserable weather, but at least it wasn't raining. It was totally pointless IMO. I had begged and BEGGED my fiance for us to elope somewhere, but he said No, that his family would be mad. AFTER most of the plans were done I was moaning about eloping, His mom overheard us and said she wished we would have! *grumble* 

I don't have much close family or friends, and most of his family is out of state and don't travel... I definitely would elope if I had a do-over.


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## Moxie'smom (Dec 16, 2007)

If I had to do it again I would do exactly the same thing! I loved my wedding.

I was my wedding planner until the day of. I hired a wedding planner for the day and she was terrible. But having been an art director/creative director, for me it was like setting up for a TV shoot. I handed my planner a book of literally everything that I had put together. It was amazing that she actually forgot stuff! But since I thought she was doing a good job, I was able to really enjoy myself. 

We had 170 people, a 21 piece orchestra that played all big band music from the 30's and 40's (nothing current) and our reception was held in an old fashioned, red velvet Supperclub off of Time Square called 'Laura Belles" sadly they knocked it down 2 years ago. it was such a beautiful place! what a shame!. We also had a 6 hour cocktail party. The only served course was the champagne and the dessert. I even made my own Challah for that part of the ceremony. It was almost 4 feet long!

Our affair was all black tie. We got married in a synagogue from the 20's. The Actors Synagogue. Many classic actors and actresses, comedians went there. The marx brothers for instance...LOL

After the ceremony, guests that wanted to, walked thru Times Square to the reception. My husband and I got out of our Limo and took pictures in the middle of Times Square then walked to our reception afterward as well. As we walked thru TS in our wedding garb, everyone was clapping they thought we were part of the cast of "Mamma Mia" it was so funny. We didn't spend a lot on flowers, only calla lilies and red rose petals for the tables. My bouquet was lilly of the valley and gardenia's. The room didn't need anything. There were a lot of votive candles. (Which we were given 25 of, after the reception was over to use for our anniversaries! what a great idea!) 

We took dance lessons for 8 months before the wedding and we danced the fox trot, cha cha, rhumba all night. We also hired dancers (men) for my single women friends). My niece who is now an aspiring actress at NYU, sang as I walked down the aisle at our ceremony as well as with the orchestra. She was only 13 at the time, but had a very trained voice. My cousin played his Stradivarius with the orchestra. And my nephew also played his trumpet with the band. It was a family affair! 

The Knot featured a picture from our reception in their book the following year. A friend of mine made our 4 tiered wedding cake which was delicious and filled with raspberry ganache made from raspberries which came out of our garden. It was off white like my dress and had real red roses in between each layer topped with a limoges box of a bride and groom. We stayed at the Waldorf Towers the night of (I had stayed the night before too with my best friend) that was the same type of room that the president usually stayed in, it was just a few floors lower. 

We shot 58 rolls of film, mainly black and white and all photojournalistic. And my beloved Moguls was in our portrait dressed in tux and tails too. 
No table pics...We also took pictures in Central Park before near the Delacorte Theatre. It was magical.

I loved my wedding. After 8 months of planning it myself, I did everything we wanted. I also designed and made a lot of things myself. CDs for each guest. The programs, even handkerchiefs with embroidery. As a perfectionist I'm usually not happy with the way most things come out, but the day was perfect from beginning to end.. I wish I could do it again, with everything the same...LOL

Thanks for reading my ramble..it brought back many happy memories. (We just celebrated our 6th anniversary on October 13th in Hawaii. We were supposed to celebrate our 5th there last year, but my Moggie was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks before we were scheduled to leave and I cancelled outrtrip. Sadly, We only had him for 4 weeks after he was diagnosed.:-(


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## carrie (Aug 24, 2004)

after all the bickering with our families, my husband and i eloped with the assistance of the justice of the peace in a tiny court house in our county. 

i'm a simple gal, i don't need all the frills of a super overdone event. the love we share is enough for me.

recently, my husband had asked me if i regretted not having the big ta-do. honestly, i don't. his reply was he thinks our love should be celebrated. funny. after all we've been through, and HE is thinking this. ahaha. 

HE wants to have a renewal for our 10 year anniversary. he's been doing research and looking at places to hold it. not me...HIM. lol
he talks about renewing our vows, having a small gathering, 50 people or so... formal attire... 

i have no idea what has brought this on.... but i'm sure he'll get over it soon....


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

QUOTE (Moxie'sMom @ Nov 25 2008, 12:00 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=677142


> If I had to do it again I would do exactly the same thing! I loved my wedding.
> 
> I was my wedding planner until the day of. I hired a wedding planner for the day and she was terrible. But having been an art director/creative director, for me it was like setting up for a TV shoot. I handed my planner a book of literally everything that I had put together. It was amazing that she actually forgot stuff! But since I thought she was doing a good job, I was able to really enjoy myself.
> 
> ...


Auntie, your wedding was soooo New York, and soooo magical!! I know you told me before, but it still gives me chills when I read your re-cap!!!! Xoxoxoo


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## mpappie (Jun 28, 2005)

I love small and intimate. I just can't see spending the money on just one day, when you are just starting your life together. 
I am in my fifties and so often i hear people moan and groan when they receive a wedding invite, they don't see it in the same light as the bride. That is why I would only have people who mean a lot to me and would be thrilled to share my day.


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## lillykins (Oct 15, 2007)

QUOTE (TwoLeeighs @ Nov 24 2008, 08:34 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=677004


> A previous post said it all - there is no "right" or "wrong" way to have YOUR wedding - as long as you are happy![/B]


Amen sister!


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## mom2bijou (Oct 19, 2006)

I wouldn't change a thing about my wedding. I think my wedding appeared above average for our social circle. Meaning....I've gone to several wedding since ours and I can see that we put many more personal details into our wedding which made ours stand out and seem more elegant. We had 150 guests. I splurged on some things, but other things I really cut costs, but you couldnt' tell b/c we added some many little details. It's the little things that stand out. For instance, our centerpieces were not very expensive, but I added blue floralytes all over the table and went to the dollar store (yes the dollar store!) and bought blue and clear rocks and sprinkled them all over the tables. It added so much more to the tables than just the flower centerpiece. Everyone raved about our tables. It's those little extras that dont' have to cost much that can really make the style of your wedding stand out to your guests. Our wedding was at the beach so I asked my DJ to play all Bob Marley during the cocktail hour to get people feeling like they were on vacation. Have a signature drink at your cocktail hour. Things like that go a long way whether you have a large or small wedding. Like I said....you dont' have to spend a ton, but adding personal touches that other people normally don't do will leave a lasting impression! 

As far as whether to go big or small is a tough decision. I think the bride and groom really have to take their time and think about it, and of course do what is financially feasible. I know people who have taken out loans for their wedding. Is it worth it? I personally don't think so.....you'lll more than likely never make that money back. I think you can still have a memorable and special wedding w/out having to go into debt for it. Sure all girls have the "dream" and don't want to sacrifice for it, but I do believe w/the help of family and friends a couple could have a beautiful wedding created for them within their financial means if thought and patience is put into it. It's about the bride and groom and the ones they love being there to share in this special time. Too many times the bride and groom lose sight of that and start to believe it's about the $5000 dress, the most expensive wedding photographer, the large band, etc. You can still have those things, but scaled down and have a beautiful day to remember for a lifetime!


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## BrookeB676 (Oct 17, 2004)

I loved our wedding also and wouldn't have changed a thing (if anything I would have had more people since it was so much fun). We had 150 people, but I have a large family, so it could have easily been 200-250. I planned the entire thing, from designing the centerpieces to the cake, to the food, etc. As far as planning a wedding, everyone has different desires obviously. Some things that I really am glad I included in our wedding are: (1) Live Trio for our ceremony, (2) Live 6 piece band for our music (vs. a DJ), (3) Videographer (the thing I can still watch today), (4) Having both of my parents walk me down the aisle, (5) Not having too much food and choices (we had several hors d'oeuvres during cocktail hour, had a nice salad or soup choice, then a cornish hen stuffed with wild mushroom rice and veggies, then dessert), (6) Having an open bar, (7) Having a large and fun rehearsal dinner 

I recommend that you talk with your family, look at tons of pictures, and have it the way that you want! I've posted pictures of our wedding at some point. Gosh, I wish I could get married again (to the same hubby ofcourse lol).


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## SicilianRose (Jun 8, 2008)

When I first got married I was just graduated from High School. It was a small wedding in front of a JP with immediate family from both sides. After 7 years of heck, we divorced. The only reason why the marriage lasted so long was because he was deployed every other month and was standing duty every other day. I just could not deal with the cheating and etc. 6 years later, I married once more. My husband and I were planning a large wedding but after all the headaches, we booked tickets to Jamaica for 2 weeks and eloped. It was beautiful. We stayed at the Ritz Carlton at the presidential suite and had such a beautiful ceremony on the beach. :wub: My husband and I would not change a thing. Now we are planning on renewing our vows on a beach in Hawaii for a 5th wedding anniversary. :wub:

The only regret is that we did not have a photographer on scene. So we do not have a lot of wedding pictures. We wont make that mistake again.


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## a2z (Aug 23, 2004)

There should be 'no wedding' added to this survey!

If I had it all to do over: no husbands, no children, just many Maltese!

Call me bitter but I know who loves me...


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## jodublin (Sep 27, 2006)

:wub: i will be married 31 years on december 30 ...my sister was due to marry all arrangments were made ,my mum was dying of cancer and was given 6 months tops ,so we had a double wedding so she could see both her daughters wed . my sister devorced her husband 15 years ago,every one said we were to young it would not last as we were both only 18 ...glad to say we proved everyone wrong ....jo :wub:


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## MissMelanie (Feb 13, 2006)

My first wedding was smallish, in a beautiful garden in Old Town, Alexandria, with a reception at my parents home. About 60 -70 people attended. My Mother helped me with all the planning.

My last wedding, was a bit larger and I worked a LOT harder on it. We had about 120 guests and we held our reception at a Hotel on the beach. However we did get married in the Church. We got married on July 4, so we got FIREWORKS too! B) 
We ended up with two wedding albums, one from the professional photographer and one from my brother. :biggrin: 
Here is one picture my brother took.









IF I ever did it again, I would go much smaller... for sure. NO way would I ever want those headaches again or the worries.


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## MrBentleysMom (Dec 19, 2007)

We had what I consider a large wedding about 210 guests. And I wouldnt change it for anything! I think it all depends on the person and what is right for them. My husband and I both tend to do everything is excess, so a bigger wedding was right for us. 

Miss Melanie: I love that picture! Especially the glasses. 

This was right before our wedding a little over a year ago:

[attachment=44302:bridal.jpg]


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

*Miss Melanie- *what an adorable picture on the beach!! i love your sunglasses..hehe..it is too cute!!!!

*MrBentleysMom*- what a beautiful bridal portrait, you look stunning!  

i love reading about everyone's wedding stories..i think as long as a couple personalizes their wedding, it will be romantic no matter what! my wedding was big (over 250) and i was worried that guests may feel disjointed amongst the black tie, ceremony, towering flowers/centerpieces, string quartets, cocktail hours, 12 piece band, etc..but in the end, i realized that all that didn't matter b/c the guests still felt very much a part of our story b/c we injected little tid bits of "us" everywhere throughout our wedding. as long as couple makes the wedding "theirs," and include their guests into their story, no matter what wedding format, i think the everyone will have a very memorable experience.


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## 2maltese4me (May 8, 2006)

QUOTE (MrBentleysMom @ Nov 28 2008, 11:58 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=678797


> We had what I consider a large wedding about 210 guests. And I wouldnt change it for anything! I think it all depends on the person and what is right for them. My husband and I both tend to do everything is excess, so a bigger wedding was right for us.
> 
> Miss Melanie: I love that picture! Especially the glasses.
> 
> ...


What a beautiful bride!!! Your dress is stunning - very timeless.


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## tigerpawswhit (Aug 7, 2008)

I am so glad to read that those of you who had small weddings don't regret it. My fiance and I are having 40 family members at our ceremony and an open reception for everyone else. I have been worried that I would regret not having the big church wedding, but I don't think I will. That's just not my style. And like many of you said, in a few years the *extra* people that were there won't matter anyway!


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