# Did I Over-React?



## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

I'm not going to mention any names here.

I just want opinions.

My DH & I drove 7 hours to get our 19 week old Maltese puppy. We were pulling our 26' travel trailer with us, so that we could spend a few days with her, before making the trip home.

Many of you know, that I lost my precious Sydney to CRF, on 2/28.

I honestly wasn't searching for a new puppy, because my 13 year old, Yorkie, Kia has been diagnosed in the very earliest stage of CRF.

But a friend, offered me a puppy, and my DH & I discussed it, and he said, he thought it would be a good idea to get the puppy.

So, she stayed with us, the 1st night, and I will tell you, that I fell absolutely in love with her. 

And, she with us. She never even went to the door when her Mom & Dad left. 

We took her and Kia for a walk, new puppy didn't know how to take a walk, so DH carried her, and Kia had her walk.

We went back to the travel trailer and we all relaxed on the bed and watched a movie.

New puppy kissed and cuddled and it really felt wonderful when she laid her soft little head on my shoulder.

Everything was going great.

We were extremely diligent in not allowing her to eat Kia's food, etc. I kept her on the couch with me, and DH fed Kia out of sight, ad immediately picked up her dish.

Puppy slept through the night.

Greeted us with wonderful kisses.

Pee'd on the pad, went back and pooped on the pad.

15 minutes later, she literally flew over to the pad, squatted and mucousy bloody diarrhea squirted out of her.

My hands shook as I tried to pull my friends number up on my touch pad phone. (I hate that phone!)

Anyway, I told her what happened and she needed to come get her.

So, she and her DH got there within 2 hours, we quickly discussed what may have happened, (she had given her an edible nylabone) so they had an apt. with their Vet. and had to leave immediately.

DH & I had to make the trip home, and felt she wouldn't be able to come home with us, within the next day anyway.

So, to cut to the chase, her Vet tested the stool sample puppy made at the Vet, not a thing wrong with it, nothing on the x-ray.

I am being accused of over-reacting, and my having her was just "not meant to be".

So, did I over-react?

I can tell you, that it took a lot for me to go up and see this puppy. I have been in such deep depression over losing Sydney and Kia's diagnosis. But when I held her, and she kissed me, I knew I wanted her.

DH reassured me, on the trip home, that when they figured out what was wrong and she was OK, we'd go back and get her.

I feel not only have I lost my puppy, but a friend, as well.


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## poochie2 (Jan 14, 2010)

I have read your every word and to me I believe you did the right thing in having the new puppy be seen by a vet. I can understand you have a lot of things on your mind and it is natural since you are mourning the loss of your beloved pet.
The mucousy diareah could be a number of things. My malt had the same symptoms and it ended up being because of anxiety cause that night my husband and I left her for several hours to go to a wedding.
I hope the new puppy is okay and she ends up back in your arms:wub:


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

poochie2 said:


> I have read your every word and to me I believe you did the right thing in having the new puppy be seen by a vet. I can understand you have a lot of things on your mind and it is natural since you are mourning the loss of your beloved pet.
> The mucousy diareah could be a number of things. My malt had the same symptoms and it ended up being because of anxiety cause that night my husband and I left her for several hours to go to a wedding.
> I hope the new puppy is okay and she ends up back in your arms:wub:


Thank you for reading my post. We were so far from home, and all I could think was she needs a Vet. And we were in a strange town, strange State, all I could think was call my friend.

When my friend came to get her, she asked about the edible nylabone she had given her. I told her that I had checked it, and puppy had chewed quite a big piece off of it, and I took it away from her. 

So, then she said she had talked to her Vet about the bone, and she might have a blockage and they were scheduled for an x-ray, and they had to leave, immediately.

I guess, things are different with my friend-mucousy bloody diarrhea means an immediate trip to the Vet to me.

Puppy is perfectly fine, and for that, I thank God.

I doubt that the puppy will be coming back to me.

My friend is upset with me, for over-reacting.


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## makettle29 (Nov 12, 2005)

*it's ok*

Go back and get your puppy! I've had a little experience with this kind of stool and it is startling to see it for the first time. But with two different Malts it has turned out to be nothing serious.

I'm not vet but in my case it was caused by dietary issues with both. Actually
with both it was followed by bloody stool and it is frightening, so I understand. I don't think you over reacted ,but now you'll be able to react with more experience if it ever happens again. Your friend should understand.


Anyway, you should get your pup (IMO):wub:

mary anna


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

I had seen your post before but it was only half a post so I didn't know what was going on. I think your friend is over reacting about your reaction. She has to realize what you just recently went thru with Sydney and the last thing in the world you need is to take on a puppy who has health problems. If she can't see that, not sure what kind of friend she is.
If I got a puppy and it had bloody stool right off, I would seriously be wondering about it's breeding and background. Sounds like what happens to people who buy puppies from pet shops. I think it is alarming - blood, mucous, diarrhea - all could be serious and especially for a little pup. It might be the nyla bone (I don't give tyler any Nyla or the other chewy things because I think they get stringy and can cause blockages.) How would you have known where to go or whom to see as far as vets go? Is this a Maltese or a Yorkie? Is she a reputable show breeder or a friend who is a BYB? I know you fell in love with the puppy but I'm not sure if she is the one for you or not. Sort of soured the experience. I also think that what's meant to be will be. If it's not that pup it will be another. JMO. And I'm so sorry you are going through all this.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

makettle29 said:


> Go back and get your puppy! I've had a little experience with this kind of stool and it is startling to see it for the first time. But with two different Malts it has turned out to be nothing serious.
> 
> I'm not vet but in my case it was caused by dietary issues with both. Actually
> with both it was followed by bloody stool and it is frightening, so I understand. I don't think you over reacted ,but now you'll be able to react with more experience if it ever happens again. Your friend should understand.
> ...


I can't go back and get her. My ex-friend is angry with me for calling her, says there was a Vet 3 minutes outside of the State Park where we were staying.

No, she doesn't understand. My DH says because she breeds, she must see this all of the time, and not be too concerned.

I've had dogs for over 30 years, and never saw so much mucousy bloody diarrhea come out of a little puppy.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Snowbody said:


> I had seen your post before but it was only half a post so I didn't know what was going on. I think your friend is over reacting about your reaction. She has to realize what you just recently went thru with Sydney and the last thing in the world you need is to take on a puppy who has health problems. If she can't see that, not sure what kind of friend she is.
> If I got a puppy and it had bloody stool right off, I would seriously be wondering about it's breeding and background. Sounds like what happens to people who buy puppies from pet shops. I think it is alarming - blood, mucous, diarrhea - all could be serious and especially for a little pup. It might be the nyla bone (I don't give tyler any Nyla or the other chewy things because I think they get stringy and can cause blockages.) How would you have known where to go or whom to see as far as vets go? Is this a Maltese or a Yorkie? Is she a reputable show breeder or a friend who is a BYB? I know you fell in love with the puppy but I'm not sure if she is the one for you or not. Sort of soured the experience. I also think that what's meant to be will be. If it's not that pup it will be another. JMO. And I'm so sorry you are going through all this.


Well, Susan, we are ex friends now. And in all honesty, I guess it is for the best. She ripped me a new one. 

I explained to her that we had no clue as to what was around the State Park, where we were staying, and we didn't feel the puppy had time for us to go out in search of a phone book, to locate a Vet.

She knew what I went through losing Sydney, and that was the whole point of this puppy, so she said.

I never even thought of the edible nylabone she had given her, until she arrived.

I guess, it is times like these, that you find out who your real friends are.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Hi,
I think it is reasonable to be alarmed/concerned about bloody diareahea and to think that the pup should see a vet. This happened to my cat (different situation) but it was definitely alarming to me.

I also think your friend should be more understanding of your feelings about a potentially sick puppy. On the flip side, if this happened and you didn't tell right her away and he was seriously sick, she may have asked 'why didn't you let me know right away? I would have had a chance to act on it sooner." 

It might not be an ideal start to the new puppy but if he's ok and still available...


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Maglily said:


> Hi,
> I think it is reasonable to be alarmed/concerned about bloody diareahea and to think that the pup should see a vet. This happened to my cat (different situation) but it was definitely alarming to me.
> 
> I also think your friend should be more understanding of your feelings about a potentially sick puppy. On the flip side, if this happened and you didn't tell right her away and he was seriously sick, she may have asked 'why didn't you let me know right away? I would have had a chance to act on it sooner."
> ...


It was very alarming, and this is coming from someone that not only has had tiny Yorkies for over 30 years, but did Orphaned Wildlife Rehab for over 35 years. I've seen a lot, but nothing like this out of a puppy.

She just ripped me a new one for calling her, because she lives 2 hours away from the Park where were were staying, and said there was a Vet 3 minutes outside the Park, and several more, 10 minutes away, etc.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I would prefer my puppy to see my own Vet.

And I've told her the same thing you said, "What if she had been really sick and we drove the 7 hours home, you would have demanded to know why we made the trip."

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.


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## Rocky's Mom (Apr 10, 2010)

Oh I'm so sorry this happened...you must have been so excited to have your new pup. I don't think you "friend" is being very understanding of what you've been through.:angry: Maybe when she calms down she'll see that she is the one over reacting. I also think you probably should not take the pup anyway. What if there is problems down the road you don't see right now and it will only cause more hard feelings between you. If she was really a good friend she wouldn't have minded driving the two hours to help you out. If she knew there was a vet two or three minutes from you, why didn't she tell you to bring the pup there? Sometimes, things work out for the best...maybe there is another pup just ready and waiting for you somewhere and you will find him/her soon. Again, I'm so sorry you had to go through this..you poor thing!


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Rocky's Mom said:


> Oh I'm so sorry this happened...you must have been so excited to have your new pup. I don't think you "friend" is being very understanding of what you've been through.:angry: Maybe when she calms down she'll see that she is the one over reacting. I also think you probably should not take the pup anyway. What if there is problems down the road you don't see right now and it will only cause more hard feelings between you. If she was really a good friend she wouldn't have minded driving the two hours to help you out. If she knew there was a vet two or three minutes from you, why didn't she tell you to bring the pup there? Sometimes, things work out for the best...maybe there is another pup just ready and waiting for you somewhere and you will find him/her soon. Again, I'm so sorry you had to go through this..you poor thing!


Thanks, Dianne. I was excited about getting her. I was nervous, too. I was so afraid I might not "feel" anything, since I have been so depressed since Sydney died, and I was amazed, to find that I really loved this little puppy. She was impossible not to love. So sweet, and loving. I won't be getting her. I never thought of that....yes, she should have told me there was a Vet right down the road. She knew we were in unfamiliar territory.
I guess, I'm different. I always wanted Sydney & Kia to see the same Vet, they have been seeing since they were puppies, and it is in their charts, he is who they see. I feel, he knows them better than anyone else in the Clinic. I thought she would feel the same.

Yes, sometimes things do work out for the best.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

I'm so sorry you have to go through so much,it's like loosing another puppy.
Maybe once things cool down,you can talk to her again. 
If not ,please don't take it the wrong way,but have you lost a friend?
I had a long time friend ( thought) and I was always there fo rher,but when I needed her,she wasn't there for me.
It hurt but over time I realized,I was her friend but she wasn't mine...

Hopefully ,if you're still willing ,and she cools down,this sweet puppy that has touched your injured heart,will be coming back to you,to help you heal...

I know when Amy died,Al said no more dogs,the pain was too much. We have 5...what a sweetie...


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

michellerobison said:


> I'm so sorry you have to go through so much,it's like loosing another puppy.
> Maybe once things cool down,you can talk to her again.
> If not ,please don't take it the wrong way,but have you lost a friend?
> I had a long time friend ( thought) and I was always there fo rher,but when I needed her,she wasn't there for me.
> ...


Thank you, Michelle. It really does feel like I've lost another puppy, just 9 weeks and 4 days after I lost Sydney.

We've e-mailed back and forth, and she has definitely ripped me a new one several times today. Yes, I have lost a friend, or what I thought was a friend. 

She can't seem to understand how terrified I was for the puppy. And I had to go home, because one of my dearest elderly friends who has Alzheimer's fell, and has 18 stitches, plus staples in the back of her head, and I need to take Communion to her, after mass each morning, while she is in the hospital. 

I was quiet all the way home, so scared for the puppy, and my DH said, "Hon, they'll figure out what's wrong and we'll go back and get her when she's settled."

Well, that is not going to happen, and he said, "Just let it go now, don't attempt to defend yourself with her any further." 

It seems like everything I say now, she twists it around.

I'm going to focus on my little Kia for now. She gets her BUN & Creatinine re-checked Monday evening.


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## KAG (Jun 1, 2006)

Aww, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Thank God the baby is ok. I would have been as terrified as you were. I know that feeling of your hands shaking, aww, you poor thing. 

So at this point, what does your friend want from you? Continually berating you? She's not a good friend. Not sure if this can happen to a puppy {then again, why not?}, my Crisse once had bloody diarrhea. I rushed her and her wee wee pad to my Vet. My Crisse was diagnosed with ITP, low platelet count. Dangerously low, but she did not need a transfusion. If I wasn't home, Crisse could have bled out and died. 

Doesn't she even realize perhaps you and your husband are attached to the baby? 

We have a huge capacity for love! There will always be room in your heart, for sure.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo


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## fleurdelys (Apr 13, 2010)

oh I am so sorry:crying:
I understand your reaction, better be safe than sorry. To me you did the right thing. I don't think you over-react.
That's so sad that your friend doesn't understand.
Sendings hugs :grouphug:


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

KAG said:


> Aww, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Thank God the baby is ok. I would have been as terrified as you were. I know that feeling of your hands shaking, aww, you poor thing.
> 
> So at this point, what does your friend want from you? Continually berating you? She's not a good friend. Not sure if this can happen to a puppy {then again, why not?}, my Crisse once had bloody diarrhea. I rushed her and her wee wee pad to my Vet. My Crisse was diagnosed with ITP, low platelet count. Dangerously low, but she did not need a transfusion. If I wasn't home, Crisse could have bled out and died.
> 
> ...


 
Thank you. I do Thank God that the baby is ok. That, is the most important thing to me.

My friend wants nothing more to do with me. She's angry that I called her, instead of taking the puppy to a local Vet. She's complaining about the distance she had to drive. I thought she'd want her own Vet to see the puppy. I know I have always taken my girls to their own Vet. He knows them better than anyone else. Even before my Sydney died, a different Vet in the Clinic saw her on Saturday, I wanted my own Vets opinion on Monday morning.

I wish now, I had not washed the bloody pad. I think if my friend saw it, she might understand why, I was so shaken. Maybe not though.

I really thought she saw that we were attached to the puppy, and felt she wouldn't have left her with us, if she didn't believe it.

Yes, someday, we'll find another puppy to love.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

fleurdelys said:


> oh I am so sorry:crying:
> I understand your reaction, better be safe than sorry. To me you did the right thing. I don't think you over-react.
> That's so sad that your friend doesn't understand.
> Sendings hugs :grouphug:


Thank you, I've done nothing but cry all day.

I really believed a 7 hour trip would have been a risk for a little puppy.

Well, she doesn't understand, and you can't make someone understand, when they have their mind made up.

Thank you for the hugs, sending you some, too. :grouphug:


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## Madison's Mom (Dec 26, 2007)

Oh no, Sheila! I hate this for you. I can't even begin to imagine how terrified you must have been. It seems to me that your "friend" is being unreasonable, uncaring, and cruel with her reaction.

The one good thing that came out of the difficult experience is that you know your heart is willing to love another baby.

Big hugs to you and Rich.
Glenda


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Madison's Mom said:


> Oh no, Sheila! I hate this for you. I can't even begin to imagine how terrified you must have been. It seems to me that your "friend" is being unreasonable, uncaring, and cruel with her reaction.
> 
> The one good thing that came out of the difficult experience is that you know your heart is willing to love another baby.
> 
> ...


Oh, Glenda...after losing Sydney, I was terrified! 

And now, my friend is no longer my friend. She is angry with me for bothering her to drive 2 hours back to take the puppy to the Vet.
(We drove 7 hours up there, and 7 back home.)

Well, I learned something painful-she was never really a friend. 

And you're right, I learned that my heart is willing to love another baby. 

Right now, I feel as though I have lost another.

(((HUGS))) to you from Rich & I.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

I was thinking what I would do in your friend's situation, honestly. First off, if i was 2 hrs way, I would find a suitable vet for you to take the puppy to rather than coming to get it and than complaining.

Is this a show breeder? 

I'm so sorry things did not work out for you! I would have been extra freaked about this puppy pooping blood if I had just experienced what you've recently gone through - the last thing you 'need' is a potentially sick puppy. 

So to answer your question - did you overreact? Maybe but with reason. Your friend is missing out on a great home though for her pup so really, it's her loss. Oh another question - had she had the puppy to the vet yet before you got her?


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

yorkieville said:


> Thank you, Michelle. It really does feel like I've lost another puppy, just 9 weeks and 4 days after I lost Sydney.
> 
> We've e-mailed back and forth, and she has definitely ripped me a new one several times today. Yes, I have lost a friend, or what I thought was a friend.
> 
> ...


 
My husband told me the same thing,to just let it go. You did what you thought was best for the puppy.

Al went through a situation where he lost what he thought was a lifelong friend,they grew up together as kids,but as adults got into drugs..Al quit and his friend acted like he was a traitor for quitting drugs. Al tried to remain friends but Dave would have nothing to do w/ him...It hurt Al but he realized the same thing I did.

Maybe people come in and out of our lives for a certain time,some stay friends,some leave (not as friends).

I thougth I couldn't be w/o my friend but after a few weeks,I realized Al was right. It just wasn't meant to be.

I have one lifelong friend,through marriages ,divorces (her) and moves (both of us) ,we still seem to find each other...

You know now that you can make room in your heart for another puppy,that's the first indication you're healing,don't mean you're replacing Sydney ,just that your ready for the love you have (not had)for Sydney to be planted in another "garden" to grow,so it will never be lost,but continue on.

I wish you healing,peace and love .


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## gill5444 (Apr 3, 2011)

hi, i lost my beloved pippa in january and i gave a home to a maltese puppy at the end of february and i have to say it was difficult although i new i liked her i was nt sure if i d love her, then she got sick a couple of weeks ago and it was unbearable i was terrified and thought i was going to loose her and as pups can go down hill so fast you just cant wait so i think you did the right thing asking your friend to help thats what friends are for. is there anyone who can act as a go between to ease the situation and help you get the pup back, it might have been a rocky start but i think she ll help mend your broken heart like poppy has done for me. good luck x


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Sheila, you most certainly did not overreact. The reason I say this, and this breaks my heart, but your "friend" should have understood the heartache you just experienced, and the fear and the panic you would have experienced seeing a bloody musucy stool. I am so glad the puppy is okay, and you had moments of loving puppy kisses. Ask yourself, if it were reversed, and your friend went through what you just did, would you "rip her a new one"? Knowing you, I think not.

I love you dear Sheila.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

bellaratamaltese said:


> I was thinking what I would do in your friend's situation, honestly. First off, if i was 2 hrs way, I would find a suitable vet for you to take the puppy to rather than coming to get it and than complaining.
> 
> Is this a show breeder?
> 
> ...


Yesterday, I told her that had I known there was a Vet close by, and it was what she wanted, I'd have taken the puppy there. She said she wasn't about to go into phone books.

She said she has shown some of her dogs. 

But, I don't think she shows very often.

Her shot record shows she was to the Vet, March 11th. And she said she had taken her two weeks ago.

It's still hard for me to believe, that this puppy had no further incidents of mucousy bloody diarrhea, after what she had with us. 

We drove 7 hours each way, and I've been thinking about it, trying to see her side of it, and I guess I'm different, I have always had our same Vet see our girls. 

If I over-reacted, all I can say, is after just losing Sydney 9 weeks and 5 days ago, it's the reason, why.

And, my 4# Kia is in the early stages of CRF, so I was concerned for her, too.

But after everything that has been said, I know now, we aren't friends. 

And that hurts more than not getting the puppy.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

michellerobison said:


> My husband told me the same thing,to just let it go. You did what you thought was best for the puppy.
> 
> Al went through a situation where he lost what he thought was a lifelong friend,they grew up together as kids,but as adults got into drugs..Al quit and his friend acted like he was a traitor for quitting drugs. Al tried to remain friends but Dave would have nothing to do w/ him...It hurt Al but he realized the same thing I did.
> 
> ...


Michelle, I tried all day to work things out with her yesterday, but to no avail. 

So, like Al, Rich said to "Let it go, stop trying to explain, she doesn't want to hear it."

I wasn't even trying to work it out because I still wanted the puppy, I just didn't want to lose the friendship.

My best-friend and I have been friends for 40 years. So, I'm not used to friendships breaking up. This took me by surprise.

I think you're right, some people come into our lives for a reason, some stay, some leave. My purpose in her life was finished. she said in Dec. if it hadn't been for me, she'd have died. I'm glad I was there for her. I'll never regret it.

And you are right, I found, to my surprise, that I am healing, I haven't forgotten Sydney,(she has a place in my heart that will always be hers, and hers, alone) but I know now, someday, I will be ready for another little fur-baby to love.

Thank you, Michelle. You have been so kind and understanding.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

allheart said:


> Sheila, you most certainly did not overreact. The reason I say this, and this breaks my heart, but your "friend" should have understood the heartache you just experienced, and the fear and the panic you would have experienced seeing a bloody musucy stool. I am so glad the puppy is okay, and you had moments of loving puppy kisses. Ask yourself, if it were reversed, and your friend went through what you just did, would you "rip her a new one"? Knowing you, I think not.
> 
> I love you dear Sheila.


Christine, thank you. She said she wanted me to have this puppy, because of Sydney. The college girl that was buying her at 12 weeks, couldn't come up with the full amount of money and wanted to pay her in 3 installments and she didn't want to be bothered with it.

If there had been any solid form to the stool, I don't think I'd have been so worried about the puppy. Or, maybe if there hadn't been so much of it.

If the situation were reversed, I would hav wanted her to call me, and let me take the puppy to my own Vet. Which is why, I called her.

I love you, too my dear friend, Christine.


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## bellaratamaltese (May 24, 2006)

yorkieville said:


> Yesterday, I told her that had I known there was a Vet close by, and it was what she wanted, I'd have taken the puppy there. She said she wasn't about to go into phone books.
> 
> She said she has shown some of her dogs.
> 
> ...


I do think that often, bloody mucousy diarrhea can be caused by stress, and this was a stressful situation for her, even if she adapted beautifully. While I love my vet, if it is a true emergency situation, I would 'risk it' and take my dogs elsewhere, esp if it is going to be minimum of 4 hours before the pup has treatment (or did your friend live 1 hr away? so maybe it was only 2?) 

I think your friend 100% should have taken into consideration what you had just been through, without a doubt. But from a breeder standpoint, I can understand a little bit why she was upset but she overreacted very very badly, from what it sounds like. She might have assumed you were trying to find 'fault' with the puppy and that is a touchy thing and can be hard not to get prickly about. If you were just a 'typical' puppy buyer that she didn't know, that is one thing. But you were a friend and she knew you and there is little excuse for her to react like that. And driving 7 hrs pulling a trailer in this time of ridiculous gas prices - that wasn't a cheap trip for you. 

I'm so sorry this experience happened!


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

bellaratamaltese said:


> I do think that often, bloody mucousy diarrhea can be caused by stress, and this was a stressful situation for her, even if she adapted beautifully. While I love my vet, if it is a true emergency situation, I would 'risk it' and take my dogs elsewhere, esp if it is going to be minimum of 4 hours before the pup has treatment (or did your friend live 1 hr away? so maybe it was only 2?)
> 
> I think your friend 100% should have taken into consideration what you had just been through, without a doubt. But from a breeder standpoint, I can understand a little bit why she was upset but she overreacted very very badly, from what it sounds like. She might have assumed you were trying to find 'fault' with the puppy and that is a touchy thing and can be hard not to get prickly about. If you were just a 'typical' puppy buyer that she didn't know, that is one thing. But you were a friend and she knew you and there is little excuse for her to react like that. And driving 7 hrs pulling a trailer in this time of ridiculous gas prices - that wasn't a cheap trip for you.
> 
> I'm so sorry this experience happened!


It was such a vast amount, that I wasn't thinking stress. I was really worried for this puppy.

In retrospect, I wish, my husband & I had just looked for a Vet. But, we were in a strange town, strange State, for that matter, and all I could think was call my friend.

At the time, I thought that was what she would have wanted.

Yes, I can see her side of it, too. And yesterday, I asked her, "When you called me back, and you knew there was a Vet 3 minutes outside the Park, why didn't you tell me?" She said, "I'm not going into phone books."

(I'd had to leave her a voicemail.)

And oh yes, she has made the comment, about the puppy not being up to my standards. I thought, "My standards??? Where did that come from???"

My husband said it was obvious that I was in love with the puppy the minute I held her in my arms. 

And she has always been extremely picky about who takes her puppies.
And I told her, "You knew I loved her, or you wouldn't have left her with us."

She lives an hour and a half from where we were camped. But, now, it is 2 hours. 

No, it wasn't a cheap trip for us.

But, it was a very painful learning experience.

Thank you, Stacy, for your understanding.


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## Cute Chloe (Nov 30, 2009)

I have read your posts and it is very obvious that you are holding a tremendous amount of guilt. You are basically repeating the same stuff again and again, as if trying to justify to yourself that you did the right thing.

You did. Don't let it eat you up. Move on. Some things were never meant to be.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Cute Chloe said:


> I have read your posts and it is very obvious that you are holding a tremendous amount of guilt. You are basically repeating the same stuff again and again, as if trying to justify to yourself that you did the right thing.
> 
> You did. Don't let it eat you up. Move on. Some things were never meant to be.


No, I don't think I feel guilty-just very sad.

And I am just trying to address each persons questions, since they have been kind enough to respond.

I truly believe I did the right thing, but at one point, the way my former friend made me feel, I questioned myself-wondered what other people would have done in the same situation.

You're right-this wasn't meant to be.

And I continue to receive e-mails from her, berating me. I am not answering anymore. I've explained to her over and over why I called her.

And I have to move on-Kia goes in the our Vet, Monday evening for her re-test.


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## michellerobison (Dec 17, 2009)

yorkieville said:


> Michelle, I tried all day to work things out with her yesterday, but to no avail.
> 
> So, like Al, Rich said to "Let it go, stop trying to explain, she doesn't want to hear it."
> 
> ...


 
It's hard ,I know,I wasn't used to friendships ending,it was certainly a first for me. She was my friend for nearly 30 years.
We didn't talk again until 5 years later,we keep it cordial ,"hellos" "how are yous" and leave it that.

Now I have SM and people who really understand the love and joy and fluff brings...(she wasn't a dog person).

My one really good childhood friend isn't a dog person either but she's a lot deeper than my other friend was...and we've known each other for closer to 40 years,since 2nd grade. Oooh,age giveaway....:w00t:

Sometimes we only have one or two really good friends,hopefully one is married to you.

There's a puppy out there for you and now you know your heart is ready to let the love you have for Sydney to grow again.

Don't beat yourself up any more,it's not worth it....been there... done that...have club jackets!

Hugs!


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

michellerobison said:


> It's hard ,I know,I wasn't used to friendships ending,it was certainly a first for me. She was my friend for nearly 30 years.
> We didn't talk again until 5 years later,we keep it cordial ,"hellos" "how are yous" and leave it that.
> 
> Now I have SM and people who really understand the love and joy and fluff brings...(she wasn't a dog person).
> ...


That is the hard part-the friendship ending. The anger on her part for "bothering" her. 

Yes, thankfully, SM is full of people that love fluffs.

I've learned here, there are different type of breeders, too. The ones here, really love their fluffs. So, they understand.

My best friend is a dog person, and cried buckets with me, when Sydney died. (Yes, we've been BF's for 40 years-age give away is right! LOL)

Our boys grew up together from the time they were born, and now, they're 38 & 37 years old, 7 months apart. (Another age give away!)

Yes, my other BF is my husband. On the way home, I couldn't even speak-and he tried to reassure me, that the puppy was going to be ok, she was at my friends Vet, in the best hands, and we'd go back and get her when she was settled and safe to make the trip.

No, I'm really not beating myself up-she's doing a really good job, all on her own.

Yesterday, I e-mailed her and asked her to please let's not do this-we've been friends too long.

Explained again, why we did things the way we did, apologized that I couldn't stay,(I'd had a call from my very dear elderly friends daughter, that her mother was asking for me. She had fallen just before we left, and she is in the hospital. She has 18 stitches, plus staples in the back of her head. She has Alzheimer's and she wanted me. Alzheimer's patients get that way, they want the people that spend the most time with them. We're neighbors and I spend a lot of time with her.)

I told her I loved the puppy, and that I loved her, and she could believe it or not, her choice.

I received another e-mail today, berating me. I did not respond.

OK, so it's all my fault. If that makes her feel better, so be it.

She seems like she is just angry and wants to argue. I'm done, I refuse to argue. I've explained until I'm blue in the face.

Nothing I say is enough.

(((HUGS)))


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## uniquelovdolce (Mar 10, 2010)

im just know reading this thread , i just think she is over reacting, i agree with what everyone else has said here , if she was really and truly ur friend she would understand , and i dont think the puppy was the right one for u , with everything u have been thru u do not need to start ur first day w a puppy worrying whether or not hes sick or not , ur puppy will come to u , u will see , for now hugs , u reached out to ur friend n u tried and if she wants to end the friendship because of this then she wasnt a true friend . hugs


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

uniquelovdolce said:


> im just know reading this thread , i just think she is over reacting, i agree with what everyone else has said here , if she was really and truly ur friend she would understand , and i dont think the puppy was the right one for u , with everything u have been thru u do not need to start ur first day w a puppy worrying whether or not hes sick or not , ur puppy will come to u , u will see , for now hugs , u reached out to ur friend n u tried and if she wants to end the friendship because of this then she wasnt a true friend . hugs


Thanks, Liza. She is so angry, no matter what I say, I'm wrong, so I stopped trying. She ended the friendship, and all I can see is she ended it because I bothered her to drive back to take the puppy to her Vet.

(Never mind that we drove 7 hours each way.)

She seems to have a short memory, but in time, she will remeber all of the times I've been there for her, and she will have to live with the regret of throwing our friendship away. 

No, as much as it hurts, I guess the puppy just wasn't meant to be mine.

The funny thing is, that I wasn't out searching for a puppy. 

I'm going to focus on Kia-she gets re-tested on Monday.

(((HUGS)))


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## Rocky's Mom (Apr 10, 2010)

Block her emails...you don't need the stress. Hugs


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Rocky's Mom said:


> Block her emails...you don't need the stress. Hugs


Thanks, Dianne.

Guess I'll have to block her.

I just feel so sad-keep wondering why she feels the need to attack me, even after I asked her to please not do this-we've been friends too long.

Even after I told her yesterday, that I loved her, and she could believe it or not-her choice.

She sent me another e-mail today, bringing it all up again.

I don't know what more she wants me to say.

So, I'm finished saying anything, at all.


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

gill5444 said:


> hi, i lost my beloved pippa in january and i gave a home to a maltese puppy at the end of february and i have to say it was difficult although i new i liked her i was nt sure if i d love her, then she got sick a couple of weeks ago and it was unbearable i was terrified and thought i was going to loose her and as pups can go down hill so fast you just cant wait so i think you did the right thing asking your friend to help thats what friends are for. is there anyone who can act as a go between to ease the situation and help you get the pup back, it might have been a rocky start but i think she ll help mend your broken heart like poppy has done for me. good luck x


Goodness, I am so sorry I missed your post.

I am so sorry you lost your beloved Pippa in January. I empathize with your pain.

It is a bit scary at first, when you get another puppy. I was nervous the day before we made the trip, but my husband told me he knew I was going to fall in love with her. And he was rigth, I did. Not the deep love I felt for Sydney, but I had Sydney almost 15 years. But the kind of love I knew would grow and I would love her just as much, just differently.

I'm sorry your puppy got sick and you also went through such a scare.

No, I'm afraid there is no one that can act as a go between.

Even after I wrote to her yesterday evening, and told her, "Let's not do this-we've been friends too long" And told her that I loved her, and she knew I loved the puppy or I know she wouldn't have left her with us, she wrote back today and just continued to be angry with me.

I'm very saddened-I keep thinking of that beautiful little ball of pure white fur, with her little head on my shoulder, as we laid on the bed......


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Sheila - wishing you the best of luck with Kia's test results. I'm praying that she's doing alright. Focus on her right now and I know in the future the right pup, and better friends, will come your way.:wub: You know you have a lot of friends here. :grouphug:


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

Snowbody said:


> Sheila - wishing you the best of luck with Kia's test results. I'm praying that she's doing alright. Focus on her right now and I know in the future the right pup, and better friends, will come your way.:wub: You know you have a lot of friends here. :grouphug:


Thank you, Susan. Her BUN was elevated to 48, 4 weeks ago on Monday, but Creatinine was normal, urine specific gracity was just a little bit low. I wouldn't be so worried except she refuses to drink water. (And we had jut lost Sydney) I read that is because dogs in CRF have a metallic taste in their mouth. So, we have been mixing a tiny bit of Half & Half in water and she drinks it very well.

She has re-gained 6 oz. of weight. 

I really hadn't been looking right now for a puppy, but my friend had this last 19 week old puppy, and she offered her to me.

I am focusing on Kia, and I know, someday the puppy for me will be there.

It's good to know I have friends here in SM. :grouphug:


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## 2LittlePrincesses (Apr 24, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your experience... but... maybe it all happened for a reason. I do believe in 'fate' per se.... what I mean to say is, maybe you needed to know 1. where you stand with your friend and 2. that you have a big heart that is capable of loving again, despite the heartbreak you have suffered from the loss of your little one. It's a natural grieving process to not want to go there again (ie taking on another baby), but maybe it's time for you take that next step in the grieving process and see that better things will come again. 

One question... have you ever considered rescuing a puppy/older dog from a shelter? There are so many out there who need a person who can love and care for them as much as you obviously were able to open your heart to this little one in such a short time. 

As for the situation, I know it's been repeated over and over (and I'm sorry I'm late in responding), but I would have done the exact same as you, and still would. I don't KNOW dogs in that way - I don't know enough to make a call on their health. And I wouldn't want that on my shoulders anyway. If anything happens to my girls, they go to the vet. As I have said to the vet, I would rather be here unneccessarily, than to be casual and miss vital treatment for the girls. I am not going to be bothered if I have to go to a vet and pay $100 for them to say "relax woman, your dogs are fine!". 

Don't ever apologise for loving and caring for an animal, and wanting the best for them. They love us so unimaginably, so unfalteringly, and they are DEPENDANT on us to care for them properly. They really are, just like children (and to a lot of people, just like me, they have become our children!). Your actions were out of love and care, nothing less... and it shows what type of person you are... don't ever be sorry for that!! HUGE HUGS


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

2LittlePrincesses said:


> I'm so sorry for your experience... but... maybe it all happened for a reason. I do believe in 'fate' per se.... what I mean to say is, maybe you needed to know 1. where you stand with your friend and 2. that you have a big heart that is capable of loving again, despite the heartbreak you have suffered from the loss of your little one. It's a natural grieving process to not want to go there again (ie taking on another baby), but maybe it's time for you take that next step in the grieving process and see that better things will come again.
> 
> One question... have you ever considered rescuing a puppy/older dog from a shelter? There are so many out there who need a person who can love and care for them as much as you obviously were able to open your heart to this little one in such a short time.
> 
> ...


Thank you. Yes, I believe things happen for a reason, too. 

I was so uncertain about the puppy, until I held her, and then, I just loved her, so you're right, I have learned that I can love another dog again.

As for my friend, well, I guess I am in a state of shock. Losing a friendship hurts, far more than not having the puppy. (Although I do miss the puppy, too. It was hard not to get attached to her.)

She just seems to want to argue, so I've stopped replying.

I'm the same as you-I didn't KNOW anything about this puppy, to make a call to take her to any, but her own Vet. Now, if we had been close to home, I'd have taken her to mine, without hesitation.

I also had my tiny 4# Kia's health to consider. She is in CRF. I couldn't risk her catching anything, and as it is, we are supposed to watch her for two weeks. She goes in tomorrow evening for her blood draw, for her re-test.

Actually, adopting a Rescue had been my plan, when I lose Kia. But then, my friend offered me this puppy.

When I lost Sydney, believe me, I felt like I lost a child. She gave so much more than she took. 

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's been a rough few days. And I think it is going to take awhile to get over it.


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## 08chrissy08 (Sep 19, 2008)

I don't think you over reacted at all! While it is true that bloody stool like that can be brought on by stress or other things that may not be serious, it can be a sign of some pretty bad things. Severe internal parasites for one. I would not have hesitated to get my friend on the phone about it! Not knowing what the cause could be, you did the right thing. If it had been something bad, you could very well have saved the little pup's life!


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

08chrissy08 said:


> I don't think you over reacted at all! While it is true that bloody stool like that can be brought on by stress or other things that may not be serious, it can be a sign of some pretty bad things. Severe internal parasites for one. I would not have hesitated to get my friend on the phone about it! Not knowing what the cause could be, you did the right thing. If it had been something bad, you could very well have saved the little pup's life!


Thank you. I never even thought of stress, at the time, because everything was going so well. She was so relaxed and loving with us, as if she had always been with us.

And I have never had a new puppy get mucousy bloody diarrhea. 

As sad as I am about the whole situation, I am really relieved that the puppy is ok. 

If I could go back and do it over again, I would have asked my friend to recommend a Vet in the area.


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## uniquelovdolce (Mar 10, 2010)

i hope kia's result come out good ! hugs to u honey !


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## yorkieville (May 9, 2005)

uniquelovdolce said:


> i hope kia's result come out good ! hugs to u honey !


Thanks so much, Liza! 

Hugs right back to you!


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