# Anything goes!



## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

So just to keep me off FB telling everyone about my brother trouble. I'm here. Sitting in a hotel room by myself with a nice bottle of chardonnay. After a day sitting in a room with a brother who doesn't have a mind and cannot get out of the bed but tries every 5 minutes. Cannot have food or water because he chokes on even thickened water. Man. this is a good bottle of wine! Oh, I progress, excuse me. Let me get some more wine. Did I tell you how nice the hotel is? It's new and very nice. And only a few blocks from the hotel. And he was moved out of ICU. Where will he go from here, hopefully rehab, not sure they will take him. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, my brother was in a horrific accident 32 years ago. He was basically dead when he got to the hospital, but the neurosurgeon found a slight sign of life and my father approved surgery. It's a long sad story, but now it is not only sad but a horrible puzzle. What do you do with a person like him when he is unable to care for himself! I was so hoping this brain bleed would have taken care of that decision. But no, he's here, unable to stand without falling, non compliant with a walker and wheelchair. He has life alert and his nurse and guardian are unable to lift his 210 dead weight body. He has bars all over his home but falls in the areas they are not. If he goes to a nursing home they will surely drug him and harness him to his chair. I could go on and on, but I will not do that to those who choose to read this. I guess I forget to mention that his brain was partially cut out because of the damage. He is a mess. We have done well with a fabulous nurse and his guardian, an attorney he went to HS with. OK, I'm through.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Sherry, dear friend, words ring very hollow in times like these. You have done amazingly well in caring for your brother for so very long. It is a heavy burden that you basically carry alone. I wish it to be different for you, just like I wish our friend in Turkey would be released from that stinkiing, cold prison where he sits just because he is an American & the gov't. is using him as a pawn--totally innocent. I have begged God to get him out of there, but he has been there a year & hope is a distant thought. Why do bad things happen to good people? Only God knows & He is often silent! I have to believe that He could blink His eyes & things would change, but for whatever reasons He is God & I am not, so I will trust His heart when I cannot see any sense in these kind of situations. I will also ask Him to strengthen us to continue to believe that He knows better than we do. 
May you find mercy & strength in this time of need. And, drink that wine---God made those grapes for a reason!


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Thanks for caring Sandi! He's always been a catch 22 kinda guy. We have tried to keep him in his house since he is so inappropriate, But now it doesn't look like an option.And I'm afraid if he goes to a nursing home they will keep him drugged. But there are no answers for these kind of people.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Sherry,

I am so sorry you are going through this. Remind yourself that none of this is either your or your brother's fault. Circumstances have just closed in on both of you. I hope that they will take him into rehab. I am really worried about you.

The decision of a nursing home is a difficult one. Not all nursing homes are the same. There are still many that are caring facilities that want to do the best for the patient. Believe it or not, some patients ever thrive in nursing homes.

I hope you can find peace, and please take care of yourself.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Sherry, I am so sorry you are going through this. And, for your brother, too. Your post expresses how much pain you are feeling. I wish you were not alone in that hotel room. Yes, you have a bottle of wine. But, someone should probably be with you right now.

I am glad that you can reach out to your Spoiled Maltese family. We are here to support you and let you know that we care. And, if anything, give you a chance to vent your feelings. Hugs for you, Sherry.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Oh Sherry, like Sandi said words just seem hollow, but love can be felt in difficult situations, you have been going through a nightmare and it just continues, and continues, you just grow weary. I can't even imagine. I send you all my love, God sends even more, he sends hope, in the midst of darkness, he sends joy despite the circumstances, but most of all he sends Jesus to carry you through. Our circumstances may be different but sadness and tears are the same.All we can do is trust God. I will be praying constantly for God to show you what to do next. I love you dear friend, always here for you.


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## maggieh (Dec 16, 2007)

Sherry, you are dealing with an impossible situation. Praying for peace for you and your brother and hoping that there is a facility where he can be comfortable and cared for. Sending you love!!!


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

What a heart wrenching situation all the way around. Some times I think it's a shame that we are not allowed to have the compassion to let our loved ones leave us with dignity...like we can and even are expected to do with our beloved pups.

Wish I could help somehow. Praying for the best outcome for your brother.


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Let me just say thank you to all of you for your good thoughts and prayers. I'm back at the hospital now and he is asleep so I am hanging out in the lobby. The nurse said he pretty much behaved during the night so that is good news. Only pulled his IV out once. Hopefully the doctor will have some news today about the reason for his falls. Anyway, thanks friends. It's nice to know so many people care.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Sherry, I was up early today & you were heavy on my heart. I am glad you checked back to let us know how you and your brother are doing. You are both in a difficult spot--very much in need of grace & wisdom. I pray that it will find you today & that you will somehow see & feel God's presence in this situation. It would be so easy to ask "why me" and I know because I have been there. 
We are here & praying and wishing you a better day today. Please keep us posted, and know that while we can not completely understand your pain, we carry it with you. I send you a long, warm embrace!


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## jane and addison (Nov 1, 2012)

All I know to say is that sometimes life sucks. Hang in there, we are with you. Hugs


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## revakb2 (Sep 8, 2006)

I am so sorry for the impossible situation you and your family is in. There are no good answers, but our thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

Sherry, thank you for the update. I was worried about you being alone in the hotel room last night. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through.


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## Matilda's mommy (Jun 1, 2005)

Sherry spent time praying for you, only God knows the answers, I love you, wish I could help


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

I know I should answer each of you separately, But I just got home from Fayetteville and I'm so tired. My brother is now able to have soft food but no liquids as he aspirates them. Besides everything that is wrong with him including diabetes, CHF, high blood pressure, and I don't remember, he is now diagnosed with brain atrophy and Rhabdomylosis, a blood disease. But, they think he can go to rehab. I so hope he can go back home. He is so inappropriate, not a candidate for a nursing facility. I'm just happy to be home tonight and get a good night's sleep! Oh, I didn't even mention my car is in the shop because someone backed into me, and my DH bought a new truck. I had to take it to Fayetteville and was like parking a tank! More stress!


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

I think your brother acts inappropriately due to the removal of part of his brain---it is one of the consequences of that procedure---sad for you, but he won't notice it. 
I am glad you are home & sorry someone backed into you. I did that in a parking lot here recently---crunch---my fault---driving Dwt's car which has dark windows & way too big for me (I like little cars). Of course I hit a new car! :smilie_tischkante::smilie_tischkante: :HistericalSmiley:

Try & get some rest, Sherry. You have been at this a long, long time!:wub:


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

I am glad you are home and options are starting to open up. I am sorry for all the stress that you are going through. Sleep, eat, and cuddle with R & S.


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

wkomorow said:


> I am glad you are home and options are starting to open up. I am sorry for all the stress that you are going through. Sleep, eat, and cuddle with R & S.


They never leave the house when the back door is open, they are so good! But when I pulled in the garage and Ron opened the door, they were out to greet Mom. I love my baby's so much, and they love Mama. They sit at the back door when I'm gone looking for me.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

Spend time with those little ones and Ron of course.


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

Sherri, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I hope he is doing better today. He couldn't have a better person rooting for him, than his loving sister. You are an amazing person. Stay strong sweet friend. xx


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

maddysmom said:


> Sherri, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. I hope he is doing better today. He couldn't have a better person rooting for him, than his loving sister. You are an amazing person. Stay strong sweet friend. xx


Thanks Joanne! He's been moved to rehab now. They will see if they can rehab his eating without aspirating. I don't know if he will be able to return home this time. But the rehab has a nursing home at the same facility. Time will tell.


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## maddysmom (Mar 8, 2012)

sherry said:


> Thanks Joanne! He's been moved to rehab now. They will see if they can rehab his eating without aspirating. I don't know if he will be able to return home this time. But the rehab has a nursing home at the same facility. Time will tell.


I hope they keep him in rehab. I would be afraid he would give up all together in a nursing home setting, not ideal, imo.
Will keep you both in my prayers.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

Sherry my heart broke reading all this. I pray they find a more permanent solution that will take good care of him and ease your mind. You are not that far from me. We may have to pick a half way point, load up our fluff babies and meet for a weekend get away! I will bring a couple bottles of wine and after a couple of glasses we can play "guess which fluff will bark first"! Prayers your way!


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Aviannah's Mom said:


> Sherry my heart broke reading all this. I pray they find a more permanent solution that will take good care of him and ease your mind. You are not that far from me. We may have to pick a half way point, load up our fluff babies and meet for a weekend get away! I will bring a couple bottles of wine and after a couple of glasses we can play "guess which fluff will bark first"! Prayers your way!


Denise, where do you live? I'm in Russellville, Arkansas. I had it in my mind you lived up east. I'd love to meet you and your crew!


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

sherry said:


> Denise, where do you live? I'm in Russellville, Arkansas. I had it in my mind you lived up east. I'd love to meet you and your crew!


I am in Kansas! We could meet in Tulsa or or do a KC weekend and good BBQ with our wine. Several options I am sure that could be easily day driven! Need to find the most pet friendly place. Aviannah loves other fluffs. Do your two?


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## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

Aviannah's Mom said:


> I am in Kansas! We could meet in Tulsa or or do a KC weekend and good BBQ with our wine. Several options I am sure that could be easily day driven! Need to find the most pet friendly place. Aviannah loves other fluffs. Do your two?


Let's have a party! I"m in Springdale.


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## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

Sherry, I sent you a message on FB.


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

I'm sorry you have all of this to handle Sherry, I hope things work out well for your brother in rehab and maybe even that he stays there, whatever is best. 
I am happy to see that our sm friends nearby to help, a meetup sounds like just the thing.


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## Aviannah's Mom (Apr 28, 2017)

angel's mom said:


> Let's have a party! I"m in Springdale.


Once I recover from my house fire I am in!!!!


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Aviannah's Mom said:


> Once I recover from my house fire I am in!!!!


We'll call it a date!


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## Furbabies mom (Jul 25, 2011)

I’m so sorry Sherry,sorry for your brother and sorry that you have had to carry this for so many years. I can’t imagine .
I know that no amount of words can ease your pain but I want you to know that you and your brother are in my prayers.


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## sherry (Jan 4, 2013)

Furbabies mom said:


> I’m so sorry Sherry,sorry for your brother and sorry that you have had to carry this for so many years. I can’t imagine .
> I know that no amount of words can ease your pain but I want you to know that you and your brother are in my prayers.


Thanks Deb, it never gets easier. He is combative and yells at people alot. Thursday night they called me he was so bad and wouldn't take his meds. I just let her rant as there is nothing I can do about it. Plus I am 2 hours away. He is falling on a regular basis and his guardian checked on him yesterday and said he looks pretty buggered up. I asked if they could belt him in his wheel chair but that's against the law! Stupid law. And so it goes.


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## wkomorow (Aug 26, 2011)

I am so sorry sherry. It is so stressful on you.


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## edelweiss (Apr 23, 2010)

Oh Weh! 
Big hugs!


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## Maglily (Feb 3, 2009)

Such agony for all, my heart goes out to you and your brother.


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## angel's mom (Feb 14, 2007)

My heart aches for you. Let me know if you need anything.


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## Snowbody (Jan 3, 2009)

Oh Sherry - this is so hard. On everyone. Sending lots of hugs. :wub:


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