# Need Prayers & Good Thoughts



## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

I've had a lot going on lately. To make a long story short, my husband & I have not been doing well. We just argue a lot and aren't getting along.  It's become so overwhelming to me. I've been really sad and just crying a lot. :smcry: I'm not coming here to have a pity party, I just need some good thoughts and prayers. I feel like if things don't get better, I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm usually a pretty strong person, but I'm just worn down and just so tired. Thanks for listening.


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

Awww Julie, I am so sorry :bysmilie: What about counseling? I know what you are going through, I have been married almost 18 yrs and we have been through 
soooooooooo much, but just recently I realized how much I love Nick and it's been wonderful, we get along great now.
We didn't go to counseling, we just had a scare and it brought us really close together.
Don't give up, try all you need to try before you do anything. I am sure he loves you and wants to make it work, talk to him, sit him down and tell him you both need some guidance. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, the only thing wrong is not asking.

Sending love and many many hugs to you :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## Morkie4 (Oct 13, 2006)

I'm so sorry...........it takes a lot out of you when your mate is giving you a hard time and the arguments seem constant. I do hope that you will be able to work it out. But it will take both of you to be willing to work it out and good, honest communication. I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers! :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## CeeCee's Mom (Sep 14, 2006)

No suggestions but I will keep you in my prayers........Life can be so hard at times but it does ebb and flow, just like in a marriage!!!! Good luck sweetheart!!!!


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## KandiMaltese (Mar 27, 2007)

Julie, feel better soon :grouphug: I agree, counseling is always a good route to go and I hope that it works and this is all just a thing of the past


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## Lacie's Mom (Oct 11, 2006)

Julie -- oh, hon, I'm so very sorry for you.

Having been married 25 years, I have had both wonderful times with my DH and some very trying times with my DH. We've even taken time out from our marriage when we've lived apart for period of times mostly due to job relocations.

Sometimes it's just not worth saving, but only you know in your heart whether or not it is.

Just remember that we all love you and are here for you whenever you need us. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## littlebit279 (Jul 29, 2005)

Julie, I'm so sorry you're going thru such a hard time. I hope things get better for you soon. :grouphug:


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## momtoboo (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm sorry Julie, hope you 2 get it worked out. I hate arguments, I find them very stressful too.Maybe counseling can help so you 2 can sit down together & talk out the problems without the stress of arguing & all that comes with it. All marriages go through bad times.Sending prayers & good thoughts your way. :grouphug:


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

Thanks everyone for the kind words. As far as couseling, my husband won't go. He refuses to go! He says "Why do we need to talk to a stranger about our problems?" I have asked him to go many times and he just won't do it.


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## I found nemo (Feb 23, 2006)

QUOTE (Julie718 @ Dec 3 2008, 12:14 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682036


> Thanks everyone for the kind words. As far as couseling, my husband won't go. He refuses to go! He says "Why do we need to talk to a stranger about our problems?" I have asked him to go many times and he just won't do it.[/B]


I know Nick was the same way  until his friend went through a terrible divorce, the man was heartbroken and he killed himself  Nick always says I should have been there more for him , I should have listened and went to him when he called, now his thinking has changed on that.
I am sorry Julie, I hope he changes his mind :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## The A Team (Dec 1, 2005)

men......nevermind....I'll leave it at that......

You can talk with a counselor yourself, might help you sort things out. Life can throw stuff at you once in a while and when this stuff is all around you, it's hard to see straight. Does that make any sense?


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## mysugarbears (Aug 13, 2007)

I'm sorry Julie that your marriage has hit a rough patch. Hopefully your husband will change his mind on the counseling. I've been married 22 years and we had a time in our marriage that we seperated. I hope things get better for you, just remember that we're here for you and you can vent to us anytime. :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## thinkpink (Sep 25, 2004)

I'll be praying for you and hope things get better. :grouphug:


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## godiva goddess (Nov 19, 2007)

Sorry to hear that you are going through tough times. I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope everything works out for you soon! :grouphug:


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## jodublin (Sep 27, 2006)

john lennon saying .,,,there is a great women ,behind every idiot ....good though??
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## deuce (May 31, 2007)

Jules, you know I am here for you :wub:


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## garrettsmom (May 15, 2006)

Marriage is NOT easy. I think the thing to remember is that there are highs in lows in every marriage. I'm sure we all have days where we 'despise' our choice in a mate.....then it seems to pass and we once again see the qualities that brought us together in the first place. Sometimes the cycle of anger and yelling just needs to be broken....by a hug.....or tears......and making a conscious effort to be nice to eachother no matter how difficult. Kindness breeds kindness and can help get you back on track.


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## bentleyboy (Dec 13, 2006)

I am so sorry. I wish men were not so scared of councelling. It would be so much easier. I hope things get better soon. Perhaps you guys should get away together?


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## HEINI (Feb 4, 2007)

*I have no experience with marriage so I can't really help.
but I just thought I could send some hugs over to you.
I hope you will stay strong and fight for your love.

:grouphug: *


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## BrookeB676 (Oct 17, 2004)

I'm sorry Julie  I'm right around the corner if you need me. I hope you can work it out and communicate effectively with each other. Let me know if you need anything.


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## mommabrey (Oct 19, 2007)

Julie,
I am so sorry to hear that you are in a rough patch... I have been thru many myself.
my husband and I have had our ups and downs over the years and I have to say that one of the best things I ever did was read a book called "the five love languages", it really helped me. also another book I think is great is "his needs her needs" 
both helped me see what what was really improtant.

I know that the holidays add extra stress to an already stressful situation, I will be praying for you.

rayer:


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## Dixie's Mama (Mar 19, 2008)

Julie, I'm sorry you are having a down time in your marriage. My 1st. husband & I were married 12 days short of 26 years when he died. We were separated for about 1 year at one time and almost divorced. We finally realized we did love each other, got back together and appreciated each other more after being apart. Life changes and since marriage is part of life they change too. I started dating my present husband 5 1/2 yrs. to the day after my first husband's death. After we got serious I was so happy to be happy again. I learned from my loss what is important and what to let slide. Now when I start to get angry for some reason I think to myself "let it go" & watch it float out and off of me like a balloon. It's freeing. I'm not saying everything is always rosey, far from it. I just try not to let anything get to a point of no return, if you know what I mean. Talk, communicate. My husband said right off the bat if something is bothering you, tell me. Don't let it fester. That is what can cause resentment and lashing out at each other. I wish the best for you. Sorry I went on so long. Have a look at this. Hope I got it in here correctly. http://www.e-water.net/viewflash.php?flash=irishblessing_en


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

QUOTE (2MaltMom @ Dec 3 2008, 11:32 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682045


> men......nevermind....I'll leave it at that......
> 
> You can talk with a counselor yourself, might help you sort things out. Life can throw stuff at you once in a while and when this stuff is all around you, it's hard to see straight. Does that make any sense?[/B]


Your comment about men made me laugh... :biggrin: 

Yes, I'm looking for a counselor so I can talk to someone...thanks!


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

QUOTE (jodublin @ Dec 3 2008, 11:56 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682058


> john lennon saying .,,,there is a great women ,behind every idiot ....good though??
> :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:[/B]


LOL! I like that :biggrin:


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

QUOTE (Deuce @ Dec 3 2008, 12:49 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682089


> Jules, you know I am here for you :wub:[/B]


I know girl! Thanks! :grouphug:


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

QUOTE (BrookeB676 @ Dec 3 2008, 02:37 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682158


> I'm sorry Julie  I'm right around the corner if you need me. I hope you can work it out and communicate effectively with each other. Let me know if you need anything.[/B]


Thanks. Maybe we can get together next week...are you in town? E-mail or text me.


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## Julie718 (Feb 17, 2006)

QUOTE (mommabrey @ Dec 3 2008, 02:43 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682162


> Julie,
> I am so sorry to hear that you are in a rough patch... I have been thru many myself.
> my husband and I have had our ups and downs over the years and I have to say that one of the best things I ever did was read a book called "the five love languages", it really helped me. also another book I think is great is "his needs her needs"
> both helped me see what what was really improtant.
> ...


I think you are the 3rd or 4th person to recommend that book "His Needs, Her Needs" I will need to get it!


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## Krystal (Feb 3, 2007)

Julie... I am sending good vibes your way...sorry that you are having to go through this...I am not married but have been with my bf for 5 years and know how emotionally draining it can be when you are arguing.....Stay strong and take some time for yourself... :grouphug:


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## CandicePK (Nov 11, 2004)

Sending you good thoughts. All the others who have been married a while have echoed what I'm about to say. Mr CPK and I have been married for almost 21 years and together for 23. About our 5th year of marriage we went through a terrible patch. We almost broke up but decided to try. We didn't do counseling although after a while I did realize that the problems were mine and not necessarily 'ours'. I was very young when I got married (20) and I was essentially going through an identity crisis. 

We've had our ups and downs since then, but nothing that even comes close. Then like Nemo's Mom said - we went through a bit of a scare. After that we really got our priorities straight, and found a new meaning in our relationship. It wasn't really something we even noticed until a while after, but we both knew that we were in a different and good place.

I wish you much luck. Remember to talk, and keep talking until the man listens. Men are silly and sometimes (okay most times) it takes a while, but eventually you do get through. ((hugs))


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## Snowball Pie's Mommi (Oct 16, 2008)

QUOTE (Julie718 @ Dec 3 2008, 10:53 AM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=681985


> I've had a lot going on lately. To make a long story short, my husband & I have not been doing well. We just argue a lot and aren't getting along.  It's become so overwhelming to me. I've been really sad and just crying a lot. :smcry: I'm not coming here to have a pity party, I just need some good thoughts and prayers. I feel like if things don't get better, I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm usually a pretty strong person, but I'm just worn down and just so tired. Thanks for listening.[/B]



First of all, Julie, I think it's so important that you can admit you are worn down and so tired. Also, your saying that is has become so overwhelming for you.

A lot of men shy away from counseling. However, you can take the first step and go by yourself. Maybe then he will at some point join you. I feel as though counseling will help keep your self esteem nurtured in a healthy way during this stressful time in your marriage. It's also the holiday season ... which can make you feel worse. 

I don't know of many marriages that hasn't had it's ups and downs. My husband and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary on Thanksgiving. We, as most couples have had our share of the good times and bad.

You will be in my prayers, Julie. My heart goes out to you ... but, don't give up. Try and get that counseling.


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## casa verde maltese (Apr 7, 2007)

:grouphug: :grouphug: Counseling is a big help.. doesn't even need to be a regular thing.. Take care of yourself.


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## BrookeB676 (Oct 17, 2004)

QUOTE (Julie718 @ Dec 3 2008, 04:41 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682226


> QUOTE (BrookeB676 @ Dec 3 2008, 02:37 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=682158





> I'm sorry Julie  I'm right around the corner if you need me. I hope you can work it out and communicate effectively with each other. Let me know if you need anything.[/B]


Thanks. Maybe we can get together next week...are you in town? E-mail or text me. 
[/B][/QUOTE]

Of course not! Ugh, I'll be in Raleigh...but it is my last week away and I am coming home Friday to watch T & T! We can get together when you get back from your vacay. I will be around that week (of the 15th) and I even have Friday off!!


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## Gracie's Mommy (Feb 14, 2008)

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:


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## susie and sadie (Jun 22, 2005)

Julie, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now.  I will most certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
:grouphug: :grouphug:


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## JNL (Sep 13, 2008)

Awww Julie, I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't looking so good for you. I just hope everything works out. I'll pray for you.


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## allheart (Oct 3, 2008)

Sending lots of good thoughts and lots of love to you Julie.

Talking to someone, just you, really can help. It can remove the cobwebs a bit, and help to see things clearer, or help to deal with things better. Take care of you 

And we are here to be there for you to.

Lots of hugs. :grouphug:


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## joyomom (Jan 13, 2008)

This is for you :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and rayer: rayer: rayer:


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## LitGal (May 15, 2007)

I'm sorry you're going through this. 
Take care of yourself.


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## jasmyne's mom (Dec 2, 2006)

:grouphug:


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## Maidto2Maltese (Oct 19, 2004)

Hon, I'm so sorry you are going thru this very rough time! I can't add to what has already been said. My hubby and I have had our bad times as well ... I pray you and your hubby can get thru this bump in the marriage journey and get back on smooth road once again.


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